GREAT GREENE EXPECTATIONS

Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 22/02/06 Dear Friend, I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise as we have never met before. My name is Great Greene. I am the operations manager in FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, AMSTERDAM HOLLAND. I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families. I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of our company who perished along with his next of kin with Korean Air Line, flight number 801 with the whole passengers on 6th of augustus 1997 and for your perusal you can view this site http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list Since the demise of this our customer, I personally has watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of US$18.3M (Eighteen Million Three Hundred Thoudsand United States Dollars) which has been with our company for a very long time. On this note, I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the Next of Kin since nobody is coming for the fund again. The Banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay more than 10 years, because the money will be recalled to the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund after this period. In view of this I got your contact through the internet when I was making a research on a foreigner that I will use in this great opportunity because I don't want the money to be recalled to our Bank treasury as uncliamed fund. I have also agreed to offer 50% of the total sum and the balanace of 50% will be for me. The reason for a foreigner in the business is for the fact that the deceased man was a foreigner and it is not authorized by the law guiding our Bank for a citizen of this country to make the claim of the fund. So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the release and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable Bank account as the surviving relation to the deceased. If you are really sure of your integerity, trustworthy and confidentiality, and accept not to cheat or disappoint me after this business, reply with your telephone and fax numbers and banking account details where you wish to receive the fund. Upon receipt of the above mentioned informations, indicating your interest in the business, I will send you by fax or e-mail a letter of application which you will type and send back to our company to enable us start this transaction. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this business is hitch free and dont have any negative impact. You should not entertain any fear as all modalities for the smooth and easy transfer of this fund has been finalized, this transaction will be completed within 14 working days immediately we start the business. Waiting for your urgent response and please kindly delete if you are not interested. Regards, Great U. Greene FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY B.V. [Another Dead Bank Customer... let's get this one on the hook.] Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, This sounds interesting - but first could you just confirm that I'm the person you meant to contact? Regards, Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 24/02/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Thanks for your response. Hope this mail finds you in an excellent condition of health. I contacted you to help repatriate this fund left behind by the deceased, Mr. Kim Yongoak, as I do not want our company to freeze the account because of the non-appearance of his next of kin. My main focus is to use my position in this Finance company and present you as the next of kin to the deceased and apply that his entitlement be transferred to you through the said legal processes. We shall start by sending a formal application to this effect. I will copy you with the text of the said claim and transfer application to this effect. Thereafter, the company will request of you the relevant back-up documents to your claim and application according to the demand of our probate law for transfer of inheritance. We shall contract the services of an attorney here in Amsterdam to facilitate the procurement of the documents that will be requested for by the finance company. The lawyer will use his professional competence and Influence to acquire all the legal relevant documents of claim. Once we have provided the our company with their demands, they would now be under legal obligation to transfer the funds to your submitted bank account. Be assured that the procedures to be adopted in effecting the transfer in your favour will be official and legal which will protect us from any breach of the law now and after the transfer though this transaction requires confidentiality. Above all, I personally count on the will and blessing of the Almighty God to facilitate our plan and understanding, to produce not just success, but also peaceful sharing of the funds at the end of the day and a healthy family business relationship thereafter. I also pray for establishment of cordial relationship between us, God being our helper. Kindly give me a telephone call on the number provided below and endeavour to send me your personal telephone number and address which I will use in putting up an application for claim on your behalf for effective communication. Have my kind regards, Emmanuel Greene. Tel: +44 7024062096 First order of business; rule out any telephone calls. The phone number is the CIA 'Panic Line' from the novel Six Days Of The Condor. Then there's what I think is a valid point... can Eliza claim a Korean's estate? Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, I can't make international (or even interstate) calls thanx to my sister Sophie, who used to ring friends on Adelaide and Melbourne, and not hang up. Our phone is PIN-secured these days. That said... my address is 35 Westmoreland Grove, Glebe, Sydney; my phone number is 9493-7282 (but if you call, you can bet my sister will get to the phone first). Just one question - if I have it right, I'm laying claim to the estate of a Korean dude. Last time I looked, Koreans were Asians. I'm an Anglo-Celt blonde. How is this going to work? Regards, Eliza Dane He says Eliza doesn't have a problem; she has nothing to worry about. I can sure as hell see a problem here... Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 25/02/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Thanks for your mail. I want you to know that no one has come for the claim of the fund, and this is an opportunity which we cannot afford to miss. The lawyer will use his professional competence to secure all the required documents that our company may demand. Meanwhile, u do nothave problem regards to the claim. I have already this morning forwarded an application for the fund approval in your name as the beneficiary to the fund. In the application you are refered as a nephew to the deceased. So do not worry about anything. All that I need is your sincerity and truthfulness to me so that we can work with one spirit to achieve our aim. I am waiting for your immediate response now. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, I will worry if you've told them I'm a nephew. That would be a problem. I'd be a niece, right? Eliza Dane [He took that one on the chin.] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 28/02/2006 Eliza Dane There is no problem. I will amend it right away. Everything seems working fine and I want you to know that our company will be contacting you by next week. I will keep you posted with the developments. Regards. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Thank you for being on the ball! Just remember - please don't try to call. If Sophie gets wind of anything we can say adios to any chance of being discreet. Regards, Eliza Dane [Here's one of the tribe of bank applications... but it's got problems, as Eliza will point out.] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 28/02/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Hope this mail finds you in an excellent condition of health. I got your mail which the contents are well noted, and I thank you for your understanding. However, all you need to do now is to send your information to the FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, your full name, occupation, address, phone and fax numbers, send it to the Bank via e-mail: furtunefinanceinc@excite.com ----- BELOW IS THE TEXT APPLICATION WHICH YOU WILL SEND TO THE SECURITY COMPANY IMMEDIATELY. ----- THE FOREIGN OPERATIONS MANAGER FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV AMSTERDAM HOLLAND. Dear sir, RE: REQUEST FOR THE RELEASE OF ($18.3 MILLION DOLLARS) I hereby apply for the release of the sum of ($18.3 MILLION U.S DOLLARS) belonging to my late Niece, Mr. Kim Yongoak, who died in a Plane crash on board Korean Air Line, flight number 801 with the whole passengers on 6th of august 1997, and for your perusal you can view this site http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list. Since ever the news of his death, my family has been working out on how to recover the properties left behind by my late Niece. However, after a meeting between us (The deceased Family), I was mandated by my family to apply to your good office for the release of the funds and other properties that he deposited in your esteemed Company. We have the beleive that you will use your good office to enhance the release of his funds and other assets that he kept within your care. We are counting on you for your help. While, I await your favourable response. Yours faithfully, Eliza Dane. ----- Apply it like this so that the transaction will commence. Send your information to the Security company and get back to me urgently for more directives. There after, the Security company will request of you the relevant back-up documents to your claim and application according to the demand of our probate law for transfer of inheritance fund. We shall contract the services of an attorney to facilitate the procurement of the documents that will be requested for by the Security company. The lawyer will use his professional competence and Influence to acquire all the legal relevant documents of claim. Once we have provided the Security company with their demands, they would now be under legal obligation to transfer the funds to your submitted bank account. Once I hear from you I will give you the information of the lawyer for you to contact him . Then as soon as you confirm to me that you have send the information to the Security company via email you should contact me urgently so that I will give you the lawyers contact who is going to get all the necessay documents the Security company may require to back up your inheritance fund to your account without any hitch. Have my best regards and God bless you. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, I'm a bit puzzled by the wording of the application - particularly this sentence: "Since ever the news of his death, my family has been working out on how to recover the properties left behind by my late Niece". You do mean Uncle, don't you? This line also is a head-scratcher: "...after a meeting between us (The deceased Family)..." - that sounds wrong. Is it OK if I write a modified version and forward it to you for final approval? Regards, Eliza Dane [Now he's got me doing the work! Well, he'll get his... And he's forgotten Eliza's name, too.] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 28/02/2006 Dear, Thanks for your advice. I wish you to amend the application in any way that you feel is going to suit what we are doing. Amend it and send to the security company for the approval process of the fund in your name. Do remember to copy me as soon as you send the application to the company. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Here 'tis. Eliza Dane ----- Dear Sir, REQUEST FOR THE RELEASE OF ($18.3 MILLION DOLLARS) I hereby apply for the release of the sum of $18.3 MILLION U.S DOLLARS belonging to my late uncle, Mr. Kim Yongoak, who died in the crash of Korean Air Line KE 801 on 6th August 1997. For further information see this link: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list. Since his death was confirmed, my family has been working out on how to recover the properties left behind by my late uncle. I was mandated by my family to apply to your good office for the release of the funds and other properties that he deposited in your esteemed Company. We believe that you will use your good office to enable the release of his funds and other assets that he placed in your care. We are counting on you for your help. I await your favourable response. Yours faithfully, Eliza Dane. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 01/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, How are you today? I want to know if you have contacted the Security company, and if they have responded to your application let me have the copy of their mail to you. I am waiting asap. Emmanuel Greene. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 03/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Hope this mail finds you in an excellent condition of health. I have taken time to go through the list of accredited Attorneys of the Security Company at the end of which I have decided that based on the current rating of these lawyers we contract the services of the Attorney with the particulars stated below. Furthermore, I have also drafted a text of the letter which you have to send to him. I want you to quickly go through it and send this as soon as possible to the Attorney. We do not have time at all to waste. You should not let our company or the lawyer to know my involevement in this transaction so that the fund will be approved very quick, I intend to retire from my company after the transfer of the fund to your account and come over to your country for my future investment. Please my dear do not betray me because I repose all my trust on you. Have my best regards and God bless you. Emmanuel Greene. ----- THE APPLICATION FOR THE LAWYER. ----- CHRISTO ZOMS & ASSOCIATES CONTACT PERSON : CHRIS OZOMS (ESQ) EMAIL: ozoms101@yahoo.com TEL: 0031-616-231-298 FAX: 0031-847-503-938 Dear Sir, For the following subject I require your service : I applied to the FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, AMSTERDAM HOLLAND, for the release of the sum of ($18.3 Million U.S Dollars) belonging to my late Uncle (MR KIM YONGOAK) who died in the crash of Korean Air Line KE 801 on 6th August 1997. For further information see this link: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list. Now I require the service of your company to claim the fund, because the sum of ($18.3 Million US Dollars) belonging to my late Uncle is trapped with the FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV. Please inform me by Email the way this could be realized as soon as possible because I have already filed in an Application for this claim to the security company. Thanks for your anticipated co-operation. Regards, Eliza Dane. --- CHRISTO ZOMS & ASSOCIATES CONTACT PERSON : CHRIS OZOMS (ESQ) EMAIL: ozoms101@yahoo.com TEL: 0031-616-231-298 FAX: 0031-847-503-938 Dear Sir, I require your services for the reason outlined below. I have applied to FORTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, AMSTERDAM HOLLAND, for the release of the sum of US$18.3 Million that belonged to my late Uncle MR KIM YONGOAK who died in the crash of Korean Air Line KE 801 on 6th August 1997. For further information see this link: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list. I require the service of your company to claim the fund, because the money belonging to my late Uncle is held by the aforementioned FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV. Please reply detailing the ways by which could be realised as soon as possible. I have already made a formal Application for this claim to the security company. Thank you for your anticipated co-operation. Regards, Eliza Dane. MRS. JULIANA AUSTIN 03/03/06v ATTN: ELIZA DANE THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR APPLICATION. WE SHALL NOTIFY YOU ON THE THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO DO TO ENABLE US CARRY OUT OUR VERIFICATION ON YOUR CLAIM. MEANWHILE, YOUR LATE UNCLE WAS A GOOD CUSTOMER OF INSTITUTE AND WE ASSURE YOU THAT WE SHALL GET BACK TO YOU AND AFTER OUR VERIFICATIONS AND OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT IS SATISFIED WITH YOUR APPLICATION, WE SHALL BE UNDER LEGAL OBLIGATION TO RELEASE YOUR BENEFITS TO YOU WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY. ON BEHALF OF THE MANAGEMENT AND STAFF OF FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, WE ASK YOU TO ACCEPT OUR DEAR CONDOLENCE. WE REMAIN AT YOUR SERVICE. MRS. JULIANA AUSTIN FOR: THE OPERATIONS MANAGER FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, The company has replied. That's good. OK, I'll get in touch with the attorney - but first I'll have to redraft this letter. Don't you have a secretary? If you do, then get another one, pronto! Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, I polished it up a bit and sent it on. I'll let you know when they reply. Regards, Eliza Dane George Manga Peters 06/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane. Sequel to your request for the account closure of account number USD 2FC001-3467/00736, belonging to our late customer, MR. KIM YONGOAK, and the subsequent investigation carried out by this company on your letter of claim dated 2nd March 2006, which all the contents where carefully noted, we wish to inform you that the head of administrative department and legal reconcilliation department of the FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY B.V, will be meeting for the vetting approval of the fund for the immediate payment of the sum $18,300,000,00 {Eighteen Million Three Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only} as inheritance fund in favour the beneficiary ELIZA DANE. Note that this long over due unclaimed funds belonging to late MR. KIM YONGOAK, will be approved for remittance into your bank account, in view of this development, you are hereby advised to submit to this Security Company the following legal requirements to back up your cliams as the next of kin to the deceased person. {1} CERTIFICATE OF ADMINISTRATION. {2} YOUR RELATIVES DEATH CERTIFICATE. {3} A COPY OF THE DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE. {4} SWORM AFFIDAVIT FROM PROBATE SECTION OF THE HIGH COURT OF NETHERLANDS. Be in formed that upon the receipt of this documents within 5 working days your account will duly be credited without further delay. Your prompt response to this notice will be highly appreciated. Finally, you are requested to furnish us with your telephone and fax numbers, bank information where the fund will be remitted to. Help us to serve you better and on behalf of the Management and entire Staff of FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY B.V, we ask you to accept our condolence. Yours Faithfully, George Manga Peters Director, International Remittance Department FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY B.V. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, The company got back, though the lawyer hasn't replied yet. Do you have the docs they want, or is it all for the lawyer? Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr Peters, Thanx for your prompt reply. I shall try to get the forms and paperwork to you as soon as possible. Regards, Eliza Dane [Straight onto the money. He'll have to be kept waiting...] Chris Ozoms 06/03/2006 Dear Eliza, I got your mail and all were understood.I have personally confirmed that the fund is already with FORTUNE FINANCE AND SECURITY BV in Amsterdam.The fund is a hug amount of money US$18.3 million belonging to MR KIM YONGOAK. Now we can help you to claim this money but, you have to pay a legal fee of US$3420.50. This is to enable us process the required documents which we shall send to you to facilitate the immediate release of the fund. Thanks for your co-operation. Regards, Chris. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 07/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I am just coming in from our London office. I want you to forward the mail to the lawyer. He will secure all the documents that the Security company is demanding. I want you to ensure you full cooperation with the lawyer because he is the one representing you here in Amsterdam Holland as your eye. Follow up whatever he tells you regards to the progress of this business. Do keep me posted with the out come of things. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. [Now Eliza is "Dear Sister". Is there a set time for this to happen?] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 07/03/2006 Dear Sister, How are you doing today? Please I want to know what the lawyer said regards to the procuring of the documents. I want us to get this transaction concluded this week. So I am waiting for your update. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, This is what Mr Ozoms wrote. I'm going to ask for an invoice. Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr Ozoms, Please send me an invoice for the fees mentioned. Regards, Eliza Dane [This is sort of what I expected - it's my third Mugu lawyer to forget the distinction between invoice and receipt. Chris Ozoms 07/03/2006 Eliza, I got your mail asking for invoice.How can you have invoice without payment! This money is to enable us aquire all the documents demanded by the security company.After payment,we shall send your invoice to you without delay. Regards Chris. Eliza Dane Mr Ozoms, I can't believe that I have to tell you this, but... You are getting an INVOICE mixed up with a RECEIPT. An INVOICE is a document stating what is owed for a service and why, and a RECEIPT is an acknowledgement of payment made. Please send me a formal invoice right away, please, listing what is being charged for which document and/or service. Regards, Eliza Dane [Hint from the Great Greene - he might be asking me for money soon. Maybe I can tell him to take it from what he owes Eliza for rewriting letters! Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 08/03/2006 Dear Eliza, Thanks for your update. Meanwhile, it my pleasure to inform you that the lawyer was in our office this afternoon to formalize his application. Also, he submitted a letter from the probate registry of High Court of Netherlands to the Director of Funds movement office. Please I am beleiving that we are getting the fund as soon as the lawyer gets the documents. However, I want you to beg the lawyer to help us. I have spend so much money in retaining the fund and now I am broke. Please I need your best for us to get this fund out this week. Do keep me updated with the progress report of our business. Have my best regards, Emmanuel Greene. [He wants Eliza to "beg the lawyer to help". Not a chance! ] Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, He was in your office? I'm surprised he could find it! That lamebrain doesn't know the difference between an invoice and a receipt! I had to spell it out for him! Listen, I'm not going to beg the lawyer for anything. I'm not a slave, I'm a customer, and I will never grovel, no matter what. Regards, Eliza Dane [Keep up the pressure on the lawyer! ] Eliza Dane Mr Ozoms: Please hurry up with that invoice. None of us is getting any younger waiting for this business to get moving again. I repeat, Invoice, not Receipt. Eliza Dane PS Call me Ms Dane, not Eliza. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, I can't report any progress because - that lawyer is so slow, he can't get out of his own way! He will not answer me! Tell him to pull his finger out, willya? Eliza Dane What? He's not blaming his secretary but his clients? Must be a first! Chris Ozoms Ms Dane, Sorry that i could not reply your mail on time because of some official engagement. I can understand you now because,most of our clients mistake reciept for invoice. Remember that we are only acting as your attorney and the issue of invoice is of.no need .All i want is just money to work for you which you can easily send through the western union .If you can read again my first mail to you,i stated clearly that on reciept of the payment,i shall send the necessary documents for you to complete and forward back to me and also, i will advice you on some documents you must make available to justify your claim to ensure speedy release of the fund. Thanks for your co- operation Regards, Chris. [ "Do we hange the lawyer?" Is that a Freudian slip? I'm tempted to go for that... Seriously - I don't know what's going on behind the scenes, natch, but it seems Eliza's complaints have paid off. And she is not going to take Great Greene's advice either!] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 10/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Thanks for the update. Please I want you to suggest to me what we have to do now. Do we hange the lawyer? It is risky at this time. He has known everything and if I am to say, I will advise that we continue with him for the security of the funds please. If you can send the money to him, and tell him that you want to mandate a friend that works with the security firm to assist him. So that I will keep my eye on him. I do not want this transaction to exceed next week. I suggest you allow him secure the documents as time is not on our side, due to the time limit giving by our company for the documents to be submitted to them for the approval and onward transfer of the fund to your bank account. Let me know what is your opinion please. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Ozoms, What kind of lawyer are you? First you ask for money up front to get a few papers, and now you're saying you don't issue invoices, at the same time giving some half-assed excuse that your clients make mistakes. Well, Mama and Papa Dane didn't raise nobody's fool. Get me that invoice or you get no money. I mean it! Eliza Dane [He wants Eliza's advice, he gets her advice. Sort of clear, unambiguous advice, too. ] Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, That Chris Ozoms is as much use as a fishnet condom. Fire the asshole right away and get someone with a few brains, for crying out loud! Regards, Eliza Dane [Well, Eliza asks, Eliza gets. ] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 10/03/2006 Dear Eliza, Thanks for your option. I am going for a lawyer in London Barrister Peter George, and I will ask him for his help. Also, I will send his contact to you after our meeting today so that you will contact him and tell him what exactly you want him to do for you at the security company. I will get in touch with you tomorrow. Emmanuel Greene Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, This probably won't get to you before you leave - so I hope that you've got us a better lawyer than the last lamebrain loser. Proof of the pudding, yada yada yada, you know what I mean. Eliza Dane [This is probably one of the nuttiest claims that I've received.] Chris Ozoms Miss Dane, I am too busy for all these.Your job is not the only job on my desk. I never take instruction from any client.All my clients do what i ask them to do and the result has always been positive. What is wrong about my demand! Unless i do what you want. Please, keep your money and feel free to have your choice. Regards, Ozoms. Eliza Dane Mr Ozoms, A lawyer who never takes instructions from clients? What bullshit! You are providing a service; you provide what the client wants. That means you take orders and do what you're told. You're fired. I'll find a real lawyer, rather than some posturing, jumped-up petty little jack-in-office who thinks he's some fucking legal genius lording over the hoi-polloi. Eliza Dane. [Ah, a new lawyer to play with.] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 12/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, How are you doing today? Hope everything is fine with you. Below is the contact information of Barrister Peter George of PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP, London. NAME: PETER H. GEORGE TEL: + 447024064844 EMAIL: petergeorgelawgroup@yahoo.com I suggest that you contact him this weekend to enable him travel to Holland on Monday for verifications in our company. Also, I want you to write Barrister Chris, and tell him that his services are no longer needed by you, and that you want to come to Amsterdam yourself to handle your project. Keep me posted as soon as you contact the lawyer. Have a nice weekend. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Thanx for the quick work, I'll drop a line to Barrister George then. It should be OK to use the same text I sent to the other guy. Speaking of which - I already told him to take a hike. I didn't need to give the little weasel an explanation, did I? I'll be in touch. Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP, London. NAME: PETER H. GEORGE TEL: + 447024064844 EMAIL: petergeorgelawgroup@yahoo.com Dear Sir, I require your services for the reason outlined below. I have applied to FORTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, AMSTERDAM HOLLAND, for the release of the sum of US$18.3 Million that belonged to my late Uncle MR KIM YONGOAK who died in the crash of Korean Air Line KE 801 on 6th August 1997. For further information see this link: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list. I require the service of your company to claim the fund, because the money belonging to my late Uncle is held by the aforementioned FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV. Please reply detailing the ways by which could be realised as soon as possible. I have already made a formal Application for this claim to the security company. Thank you for your anticipated co-operation. Regards, Eliza Dane. Peter George 13/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane We acknowledge your mail dated 12th March 2006 requesting for our service. It is our pleasure to inform you that your request is accepted, and I shall be leaving to Holland this morning for our verifications, which we shall get back to you for situation report. Meanwhile, the law office was intimated on 10th by one Mr. Emmanuel Greene, regards to this very project. He told us that he works with the security company, and you have assigned him to assist you in locating a good law firm that will handle the project on your behalf. We are willing to assist you as I have indicated above, and we need your assistance also to enable us get everything done. We shall get back to you to unveil our findings to you. Thanks you for choosing PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP. Yours in Service. Peter H. George Principal Attorney Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, Thank you for taking this on. I hope to hear from you soon. Regards, Eliza Dane [Barrister Peter got his layout slightly awry, which I will happily make use of.] Peter George 14/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane, OUR SERVICES This is to intimate you on our findings at the Furtune Finance & Security B.V, Amsterdam Holland. On the issue of the estate of left the late customer of the bank, Mr. Kim Yongoak, who died on a plane crash. However, we have made an approach to the bank this morning in regard to your claim, and the Security firm made us to understand that there was a lawyer working for you in respect of your right actualization. Please, we need a letter of authority from you that will empower us to work on your behalf for the facilitation of this project. More so, I was able to convince the Admin Manager of the firm before he agrees to showcase your payment file to me. I was told to submit the below documents to them before they can be able to put their signatures for the approval of the fund to you as the beneficiary. HERE IS THE ACCOUNT: BANK: CITIBANK NEW YORK 111, WALL STREET, NEW YORK 10043. SWIFT CODE: CITIUS33 ABA: 21000089 BENEFICIARRY BANK: INTERCONTINENTAL BANK PLC ACCOUNT NO.: 36023765 FURTHER CREDIT TO: UNION OVERSEAS LTD 1. CERTIFICATE OF ADMINISTRATION. 2. YOUR RELATIVES DEATH CERTIFICATE. 3. A COPY OF THE DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE. 4. SWORM AFFIDAVIT FROM PROBATE SECTION OF THE HIGH COURT OF NETHERLANDS. Meanwhile, I want you to send the documents to us if you have them, but if you do not have them at hand I can work my way in securing the vital papers that will back you on your claim. Also, you need to pay our Legal fee of $2,800.00 and then we need about $1,750.00 for the procuring of the documents. Therefore, you are advised to send the money through the below account information to enable us proceed in getting the security company‰Ûªs requirement. The total money that you have to send is $4,550.00. It can be send through the account information or through western union for quicker delivery. If western union, you have to send it through our chambers accountant NAME: MARTIN FADEKO. AMSTERDAM HOLLAND. We are looking forward to cooperation which will empower us to serve you better. Thanks for choosing PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP. Yours in service. Peter H. George Principal Attorney. [Yep, he put a whole block of text in the wrong place, and Eliza is confused.] Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Here's what Mr George sent. First signs looked promising... but then I looked closer. Firstly; he's asking for payment up front. So did that Ozoms wanker. I know I'm only young and don't move in high finance, but I always thought that lawyers submitted a bill once things were done and dusted. Secondly, what's with this stuff about Citibank in New York? I thought the money was in Fortune Finance in Holland! That's what you said, and that's what I told him! I'll try to get this explained. Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, Thank you for your letter. However, there are two matters to address. Firstly, I'm surprised to see a request for payment in advance, though I'll admit that my experience in such matters is limited. Anyway, please send me an invoice soonest. I don't have the documents you request, so you'll have to find them. Secondly, I don't understand that block of text about Citibank New York - what's it got to do with this? The money is in a firm in Holland, or so I was told. Regards, Eliza Dane [Oh, patronise Eliza will you... you've made an enemy...] Peter George 15/03/06 Dear Client, First I understand that your experience on this kind of matter is limited. If you want us to have result in this project I will like you to give me the necessary support that is needed to enable me get your fund out of thye security company for you. I am ready to work for you, and my goal is to achieve the best result in whichever way it must obtained. However, the account information attached to my mail of yesterday is my personal account with the CITI BANK NEW YORK. That is where I want you to send the money for me or through western union. I gave you two options which you have to make your choice. More so, I will give you the requested invoice, but I want you to know that I cannot work without having my legal fee paid to me. I have already started my groud work for the procuring of the documents as soon as you send the money to me. I spent 700 Euro yesterday just to get all I want from the security company and my hotel bill. More importantly, I need the power of attorney as I told you on my email of yesterday, that will empower me to carry out my job as requested by the security company. Waiting for your immediate response. We remain at your service. Peter H. George. [Now for some fairly basic, if accurate, advice. Let's see how he takes it.] Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, If I misread your message, it ain't all my fault. All I saw was a block of info about some damned bank, and no explanation. Take my advice and be more careful with your emails in the future. It might help too if you kept your terms consistent. I couldn't find "power of attorney" in the other email but I did find "letter of authority". Is that the same? What should it look like? Just a letter, or is there a form to fill out? I don't have problems with paying your bills - it's just that I thought that they were done as payments for services rendered, not for services not yet done. Regards, Eliza Dane Peter George 15/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane Thanks for your advice. The power of attorney or authority are the same. It is just words that you will type and send copy to the security company that you are authorising this chambers to act on your behalf for the process of your inheritance sum with their esteemed institute. As soon as we received the letter from you, we shall now serve the security firm with a letter of Administration which we shall obtain from the probate registry of the High Court of Netherlands. The letter of Administration will now award you the full right to the property of your late uncle. And by presenting the requirement of the security company to them. They will now be under legal obligation to release your inheritance sum to you without further delay. Therefore, my secretary is out of the office for now. She will send to you the PROFORMA INVOICE as you requested first thing tomorrow morning. Also, be prepard to send us the money to enable us proceed for the actulization of your project. Thanks for choosing PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP. We remain to serve you better. Peter H. George. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Here's what Mr George said. Can you help me with the right wording for the power of attorney please? Regards, Eliza Dane I ignored this one. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 16/03/2006 Dear Eliza, Hope this mail finds you in an excellent condition of health. I am sorry that I did not inform you that I was drafted to represent our company on a sumit that was organized by the ALL EUROPE FINANCIAL INSTITUTE SEMINAR, that started on Monday and it was concluded just an hour ago. However, below is the text of the LETER OF AUTHORITY: THE ADMIN MANAGER FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY B.V. AMSTERDAM HOLLAND. DEAR SIR, IT IS MY HONOUR TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE APPOINTED PETER H. GEORGE OF PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP, TO BE MY REPRESENTATIVE, ALSO TO ACT IN ALL AREA THAT MY PRESENT WILL BE REQUIRED IN THE COURSE OF MY INHERITANCE FUND APPROVAL PROCESS. I HAVE CONFERRED ON HIM THE POWER TO SIGN EVERY DOCUMENT ON MY BEHALF AND TO PROVIDE ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS IN RELATED TO MY INHERITANCE FUND PROCESS. I AM THANKING YOU FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE. YOURS FAITHFULLY, ELIZA DANE. It is very vital that you haste up in liaising with the lawyer to do all the relevant things for the fund approval. Please, I am asking you to comply with the lawyer's directive to enable this transaction sail through. The only thing that is holding the fund approval in your name now is the documents, and I will advice you to ensure that the fund is wired to the lawyer to enable him gather the required documents this weekend so that by Monday he will submit them to the security company. I will resume normal duty tomorrow which will enable me view your payment file. Keep me posted as soon as you have concluded things with the lawyer. Have my best regards, Emmanuel Greene. Bloody hell, what sort of case strips off so many lawyers? He attaches a very poor excuse for an invoice. Peter George 16/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane, I am sorry for my lateness in sending the Proforma Invoice to you. I was very busy this morning attending to our clients, because I was the only person in our office. Our boss and (6) other lawyers in our chambers left to France early this morning for an important court case. Attached is the invoice. Yours Sincerely, Ms. Edna Danielson For: Peter George Law Group. Eliza puts it pretty well, I think. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, He got back to me, but would you look at this invoice? It looks more like the bill you'd get in a greasy spoon eatery! I've seen invoices plenty of times at Mum's plant nursery, properly typed and all. This one is a joke! Also, please get that power of attorney letter to me. Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 16/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I am happy on the way things is going so far. Everything is ok. The next thing now is the payment of the fees and I want you to do your best. Please do not delay in complying to the lawyer's directive in order for him to secure the required documents for the fund approval in your name as the beneficiary. However, I sent the text of the LETER OF AUTHORITY to you yesterday. But no problem. Look below and see the text and send it to the lawyer and the security company immediately. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE ADMIN MANAGER FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY B.V. AMSTERDAM HOLLAND. DEAR SIR, IT IS MY HONOUR TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE APPOINTED PETER H. GEORGE OF PETER GEORGE LAW GROUP, TO BE MY REPRESENTATIVE, ALSO TO ACT IN ALL AREA THAT MY PRESENT WILL BE REQUIRED IN THE COURSE OF MY INHERITANCE FUND APPROVAL PROCESS. I HAVE CONFERRED ON HIM THE POWER TO SIGN EVERY DOCUMENT ON MY BEHALF AND TO PROVIDE ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS IN RELATED TO MY INHERITANCE FUND PROCESS. I AM THANKING YOU FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE. YOURS FAITHFULLY, ELIZA DANE. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- You should amend the text the way it will suit you, and send it immediately to the lawyer and the security company so that the lawyer will have the right to proceed for the fund approval process. Get back to me as soon as you send the letter to the concerned company's. Have my best regards, Emmanuel Greene. I've set a small trap here... a hint; not all dollars are equal. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, At this rate I'm going to have to invoice you for work as your secretary... grrrr... I didn't get any message from you yesterday. I've had some minor email server hassles in the last week or two; it could be that... maybe it'll pop up later. I'll be straight with you on this matter; with regard to the lawyer's fees - I can't afford to pay them right now. My current savings are a little over $3000. I receive an allowance of $400 a week on the condition that I work in Mum's plant nursery one day on the weekend (which is something I like doing anyway). If my maths is up to snuff, it'll be at least three weeks before I can afford to pay up - and that's assuming I spend absolutely nothing in that time (not likely). That means more likely a month - and I get the impression that he won't wait that long. I'll send the letter of authority once I've gone over it. Regards, Eliza Dane He thinks that Eliza is honest and cooperative... those words will come back to haunt him before this is done and dusted. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 16/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Thanks for your quick mail response. I also that you for your honesty and cooperation since we started this transaction. However, I will tell you that 3 weeks is too much, and you know that a business of this nature do not need delay of any kind. I am suggesting if it will be possible for you to send at $2,500.00 to the lawyer so that he will start the process immediately. There is no need waiting for such a long time to pay him. I want you to write and ask him to help you as you do not have the whole money at hand right now that you are going to pay him half of the money for now so that he will proceed in getting the required papers, and will balance him the remnaining money soon. I want you to put it this way to him. I know he will like you to give him the full money but try to convince him so that he will proceed. If he agrees, then it is better you send the money to him through western union or the account information that you told me that he gave to you. Why I prefared western union is because it is faster so that he will start. Remember to tell him to copy you with the documents for your perusal before submitting it to the security company. I bet you that very soon we shall have a great story to tell as I am intending to resign from my job after the fund transfer to your bank account, so that I will come over to your country for sharing and onward investment plan, which you are going to be my eye in your country. Let me know the out come of your discussions with the lawyer asap. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. Let's see how he reacts to a photo of the lovely Eliza. Can I get a photo of him? Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Here's the letter, redrafted. My invoice follows : ) Once I have your OK I'll send it on. I don't know why you put it in caps originally - that's a major breach of netiquette. It's the equivalent of shouting at somebody. I'll see what I can do about payment. If I offer Mr George the full fee on the documents, maybe that should cover things until I can settle the lot. Looking to the future - what exactly do you mean by "you are going to be my eye in your country"? Is that another way of saying you want a secretary? Hmm... Send me a photo; I'd like to know who I might be working for. Here's one of me, taken at the plant nursery last December. Regards, Eliza Dane ** Dear sir/madam, I wish to inform you that I have appointed Mr Peter H. George of Peter George Law Group to be my representative. He will act in all areas that my presence will be required in the course of my inheritance fund approval process. I have conferred on him the power to sign relevant documents on my behalf and to provide all other necessary documents related to my inheritance fund process. Thank you for your kind assistance. Regards, Eliza Dane. [Here Eliza encloses a pic of herself which looks awfully like Sophie Monk, is very very pretty, and is so professional in quality that it is omitted out of worry that it violates somebody's copyright.] Not yet, apparently. I can still try later, I guess. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 17/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I am satisfied with the letter. Also, you being my eye is that you are going to lead me in the area of my investment in your country. Send the letter to the security company, and the lawyer and get back to me. I apologize for putting the text on capital letters. Let me know your discussions with the lawyer. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Attn: Peter George For attention also George Manga Peters, Juliana Austin Dear Sirs and Madam, I have enclosed a Letter of Authority on my behalf, for use by Barrister Peter George as required. Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, I got the invoice, duly noted. The only problem I have with it is that I won't be able to settle your account in the near future. Would it be sufficient in the short term to pay $2,500? If so, what is your preferred payment option? Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, I'm a student in botanical sciences, not an investment broker! Are you suggesting a big career shift? I sent the letter, all's well. Are you going to return the favour and send me a photo of yourself? Eyes might as well see, ya know : ) Actually, why not something personal? How old you are, what you do in your spare time, favourite food, that sort of thing. Catch you later, Eliza Peter George 17/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane Your mail was well received. However, we accepted the payment option, and we need to know when our balance will be given to us. More so, we prefer you to send the money through western union which will be faster to enable us proceed for the procurement of the document from Monday next week. So be advised to send it through the below information: NAME: MARTIN FADEKO AMSTERDAM HOLLAND TEXT QUESTION: ANSWER: SENDER'S NAME: ADDRESS: We shall proceed for the securing of the document, which copies will be sending to you for your perusal and record. Also, I believe that the fund will be approved in your favour as soon as we meet up with the security company's demand, for the onward release of your fund to you. Do remember to copy me with the payment detail to enable us track the payment. Meanwhile, do not forget to send the letter of authority to us, so that we cannot be embarrassed by the security company. We are waiting for your immediate response, while we remain to serve you better. Yours in service. s Peter H. George. Eliza Dane Mr George, I sent the letter of authority to you (ccing Fortune Finance) before I sent the message about payment. Please confirm that you got it so I can send you the $2500. Regards, Eliza Dane OK... now to spring the trap. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, I think I've screwed up big time. When I worked out the payment schedule, I was quoting Australian dollars. But I think Peter George must have meant US dollars. With exchange rates as they are, my AUS$3000 is only worth a little over US$2200. I can't even send him the $2500 I promised! What do I do now? Eliza Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 18/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Thanks for your update. Please I will mail my picture to you tomorrow for your perusal. However, I am 37 years. I love playing games at my spare time and I like eating jolof rice, but I eat anything that is good for a living being. However, I am suggesting that you send to the lawyer $1800.00 then his balance will come later. It is better you send him the amount first, then explain to him that you were not able to get the $2,500.00 as you promised, but his complete money will be coming very soon. Tell him that you send that very one to him so that he will start the fund approval process. Do not worry yourself, he is a very nice and soft hearted person. He will accept it, and he like challenges. Let him know that you are now giving him a challenge and once the process starts, you will send his balance to him. Keep me updated as soon as you send the money to him. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Thanx for being so understanding. I like that. What sort of games do you play? Rugby, squash, contract bridge? It's a big category... I play squash and I'm learning karate (I hope to qualify for the yellow belt in Sinanju in a month or two). I also like history books (ancient and medieval mostly) and crime fiction (P. D. James and the Kinsey Milhone series are my favourites). Food-wise I have a craving for tira misu. Luckily I don't put on weight easily. Some people I know would kill for that. I'll email Mr George before I leave today. I won't be able to send the money before Monday as today is my day at the plant nursery and if I don't go, I lose half my allowance. Take care and I hope to hear from you tomorrow. Eliza Sinanju is a fictitious martial art from the Remo Williams series of stories. Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, There's been a mistake and I plead guilty. When I said I would send you $2500, I said that because I have $3000 in my bank account. The problem is that the $3000 is Australian money, worth about US$2200. Would it be OK if I sent $1800 instead, to cover the cost of the documents, and settled the rest at a later date? Believe me please, this was an honest mistake. Did the letter of authority arrive? Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Mr George, Please confirm the receipt of the Letter of Authority. Regards, Eliza Dane Peter George 19/03/06 Dear Eliza Dane, Your mail was well noted. I received the letter of authority that will empower me fully to work for you. However, I received a telephone call this morning from the security company that I am needed in their office on Monday for signing of some documents, also to furnish them with my particulars. I was also informed that you have issued a letter of authority to them in my regard. Therefore, I want us to commence on Monday. So do send the money as you have said, but please I need honesty in all that I am doing. I have accepted to work for you and I assure you that we shall secure whatever you have employ us to do on your behalf. And your fund must be released to you. So send the money immediately to enable us commence. Yours in service. Peter H. George Eliza Dane Dear Mr. George, I'm afraid that I can't send the money before this Monday morning as the post office (where the Western Union office is located) doesn't open on Sundays. Your colleagues had to head off to France on a big case - are they handling it OK? BTW, I'm a bit curious about one thing - why is it that that four pieces of paper can cost so much? The Death Certificate and the Deposit Certificate are basic things, right? As for the other two, I mean, it's not as if you have to get originals of the Declaration of Independence or the Oath of a Freeman. Regards, Eliza Dane ["...full time"? When would he work? He attached two postage-stamp-size pix - barely visible.] Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 20/03/2006 Good sister, I have just finished a competition. I play lawn-tennis full time. I love the game so much and we are just concluding all financial institute lawn-tennis tournaments in the Netherlands, today, which I won the men category. We shall see one on one in a very short time. I am sure that we shall be completing this transaction this week. So when are you sending the money to the lawyer? Please do not fail to send it to him at least first thing Monday morning so that he will proceed for the securing of the documents. I am sorry for responding very late to your mail. Let me know as soon as you send the money to him. My photo is attached. Have a nice weekend. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Hi Mr Greene, Lawn tennis huh? Listen, we have to see if you can transfer that skill to squash. Tennis is a bit la-de-da, I think. Squash is a real challenge. Keeps me fit! "We shall see one on one in a very short time" - you'd better hope Nick doesn't get to hear you said that, he's a jealous type. It's his only flaw, really. It's early morning here. I'm heading off in about an hour - I have to go to the bank first, and that's a little further away. Maybe three hours to do the lot? BTW, those pix are tiny! I can barely see you. Send some larger ones, willya? Eliza OK - time for a variant on the "Western Union has blocked transmission" excuse. If I send them the test question and answer it might keep them sweet. The question and answer are, of course, references to Eliza's first Scamorama listing, OPERATION AMSTERDAM: FLIGHT OF THE WILD ROSE. Eliza Dane Mr George, Western Union must have changed their rules - I thought it was an easy thing - but they've got some restricted list to certain countries, and now they want a form filled out giving the recipient's full name, address, contact number, and reason for remitting! I think this is something to do with the new security regs. The WU supervisor wouldn't tell me. Could you send me the info please? The test question and answer will be; What is your favourite flower? The Wild Rose. Regards, Eliza Dane Remind the Lads - there's still money out there... Eliza Dane Mr Greene, It's gone funny over here - Western Union isn't playing fair. I got the money (had to hit five ATMs) and did what Mr George said, only WU locked up. The supervisor said that there was a rule that transfers to certain countries - he didn't say which ones - needed to be documented. He gave me a form to fill out wanting to know the full name, address, and phone number of the receiver, and what the money's being sent for. It's some security requirement or something like that. Well, of course I couldn't fill it out. I still have it with me. I just asked Mr George to give me the info and I thought you'd better be kept up to speed. Meanwhile the money is burning a hole in my pocket. Eliza Yet another name - the third from 'Furtune Finance' Mrs. Caroline Spencer 20/03/2006 Attn: Eliza Dane This is to acknowledge the reciept of your letter of authority, which we have written your lawyer to furnish us with the requirements that will enable us authenticate and legalize your file for the immediate release of your benefits to you. Please ensure that you or your lawyer submit the documents to this office on or before thursday this week. Yours faithfully, Mrs. Caroline Spencer For. The Director. Peter George 20/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane You should be very careful with the western union. I am sure you know the confidentiality that your transaction requires. So you should tell them that you are sending the money to your family friend in Amsterdam Holland. I will leave London in the next (2) hours to Amsterdam, and I will be there till I achieve the needed result. The full information you requested is below: NAME: MARTIN FADEKO ADDRESS: EGELDONK 91 1104 AC AMSTERDAM ZUID OOST HOLLAND.v Tel: 0031 616231298 TEXT QUESTION: ANSWER: SENDER'S NAME: ADDRESS: Eliza Dane Dear Mrs Spencer, Thanx for the update. Please explain why there is a Thursday deadline - no-one else has mentioned it to me. Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, Thanx for the info. I won't be able to send the money before tomorrow as it's way after closing now. Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 21/03/2006 Dear Eliza, How are you doing today. I was very busy since morning rounding up file that occupied my desk. How far have you gone with the western union? Has the lawyer send the requested information to you? I want to know. However, I will send another picture to you. I am getting worried please lets haste up to get this fund approved and transferred to your account. Most important, do not disclose our transaction to the western union or anybody till when the fund gets to your bank account. We need to keep everything secret just our own benefit. I am suggesting if you cannot send the money through western union, then send it through the account information the lawyer has given you. Keep me posted. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, Stop worrying, will ya? Just do the paperwork. I got the info from Mr George and I'll be down there today to send the money. Again, don't worry, I'm not the one with the gossip genes. Just be lucky you never got in touch with Sophie - she can't keep her mouth shut. We're really close, but I stopped sharing secrets with her years ago. Make sure the photo is the right size, not a postage stamp. I could barely make you out. Eliza A little scene-setting for later... Eliza Dane Hello Mr Greene, I went to Western Union and sent the money - but geez, what a song-and-dance routine! I got the same boss cocky giving me the third degree, double- and triple- checking everything on the form. The way he was looking at me, you'd have thought I was standing there in a berka or kador or whatever it is Muslim women have to wear in lot of places. When he gave me the receipt it was like he was giving me a winning lottery ticket or something. What a jerk! I just hope there's no trouble at your end. Let me know if it got through. Well, soon I can laugh at the little asshole 'cos I'll be rich and set up for life as your eyes or whatever. Bye for now. Eliza Eliza is blonde; I'll play her as fitting the stereotype (but not completely). The WU number, if you compare it with the dialling buttons on a telephone, reads as FUCK YOU ALL. Eliza Dane Mr George, I've been a total ditz - I forgot to send you the Western Union details! The test question and answer you know. The number is 3825-968-255. Eliza Dane Martin Fadeko 22/03/06 Eliza I saw the mail you sent to Amsterdam for the W U But, the western union people said that the number is not in the systen it is a wrong number.Please, re-confirm the figure and get back to me because we cannot perform without this money. Regards, MARTIN FADEKO. FOR PETER GEORGE. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Fadeko, I have the form in front of me and the number is totally the right one. Check with WU again, I definitely sent the money. Regards, Eliza Dane "I was intimated -" l first read this as "I was intimidated -" OK, so does Eliza. Peter George 22/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane, I was intimated by Martin Fadeko, that the western union did not accept the mtcn number that you sent to us. Please I want you to reconfirm the number to me immediately so that we can track the money this evening and proceed for the job first thing tomorrow morning. It is 6:05PM here, and everything will be tomorrow. Martin called to inform me on the western union issue, and I told him to write you immediately. Please reconfirm the MTCN number: 3825-968-255 I know that the text question is: What is your favourite flower? Answer: The Wild Rose. We are waiting for the confirmation asap. Regards, Peter H. George. Let's go with the intimate/intimidate joke and see what happens. Eliza Dane Dear Mr George, I can only tell you what I just told Martin Fadeko, that I sent the money and this MTCN stuff is exactly as on the slip they gave me. BTW, what's wrong with your office? This accountant shouldn't be going around threatening you! Are you sure he's fair dinkum? Eliza Dane This is convenient. Note how the Lad gets "his" name wrong. Martin Fadeko 22/03/06 I THINK THE WESTER UNION MUST HAVE MISTAKENLY SENT THIS MONEY TO ANOTHER DESTINATION .MAY BE LONDON INSTEAD OF AMSTERDAM . PLEASE RE-CONFIRM REGARDS, FADECO FOR PETER GEORGE. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Fadeko, London? I don't see how. This is the address you supplied - ADDRESS: EGELDONK 91 1104 AC AMSTERDAM ZUID OOST HOLLAND. - I think even a trained chimp with ADD would know to send it to Amsterdam and not to London! Shit - I'll have to check this out. I won't be able to do it until this afternoon (I can't call the office from home, I don't want anyone in the family to hear about it). Regards, Eliza Dane PS Watch it with the CAP LOCK, willya? That's rude - it's the text version of SHOUTING. Martin Fadeko 22/03/06 Eliza We got your mail .Please, can you send the reciept to help us as a prove! Regards, Martin Fadeko For Peter George. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Fadeko, No can do - I don't have a scanner. BTW, I see you got the hint about your Caps Lock. I took the dog for a walk and made a call on my mobile (normally hard to do, 'cos Sophie almost always goes with me on walks - to look after me, she says - hey, I'm the big sister!) and the guy at the Western Union office told me the number was correct. He insisted that I give him all the details again, including the address and everything - luckily I had the paper in my pocket. Guys in offices are so fucking anal these days! Oh, and while I was doing all that, Gellert - that's the dog - got into a fight with another dog, some yuppie dickhead's mongrel. Aagh! I taught that moron a few new words - I can swear in six languages even if I can only speak three. And while we're on the subject of bad language, why did you give Mr George such a hard time? He's trying to do his job, and you were threatening to bust his nose or something. Leave him alone, OK? This is not going so well, so just lay off. Regards, Eliza Dane Peter George 23/03/06 Attn: Eliza Dane, Actually, I am confused in all this. I went to the western union myself and I was told that the whole information does not exist in their system. Early this morning I went to the Probate registry of the High Court of Netherlands to file my application for the letter of administration, and after that I called martin to meet me at the where I was told that the information MTCN, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER are not existing in their system. Please I am a man of my word and I do not like failure in anything that I am doing. I want you to please fax the western union receipt to me on this fax number: 0031-847-381-791, so that I will go there tomorrow with the receipt to know what exactly that is going wrong. Martin has been with me for the past 11 years and we have never experienced this kind of situation. So far I have spent 2 days in Amsterdam without doing anything. I was at the security company today to inform them that I will be giving the requirement to them before weekend, but this situation is not helping issue at all. I am wondering what would be the problem. Please I want you to do me the favour of faxing the receipt to me so that I will follow it up with the western union office here. It was a very big embarrassment to my personality. No bank has ever turned me back or tells me that my information is not correct. This is seriously disturbing. So I am waiting for your update both on fax and mail. Have my best regard. Peter H. George. Eliza Dane Mr George, You are telling me that Western Union there doesn't have a record of the transaction; Western Union here is telling me quite positively that it sent the damn payment. Someone is lying to me. I am going to the WU office here today and demanding an explanation. Regards, Eliza Dane PS Do you trust Martin Fadeko? OK, he's been with you 11 years, but you have to ask why he's getting all uptight with you - unless going around threatening you is normal... '6848' represents 'MUGU'. Eliza Dane Mr George, I don't understand what's going on, but you can stop looking - Western Union unilaterally cancelled my order! The supervisor looked at my slip, made some vague noises, went away, came back, told the cashier to refund my money (less a $30 charge), told me that the transaction was cancelled under code 6848, and ushered me out. I was so surprised I didn't say a word. What the fuck are they on about? And what do I do now? Eliza Dane Martin Fadeko 22/03/06 Dear Eliza For western union to cancel your private legitimate transaction under any circumstance is strange.For the fact that this deal invovles millions of dollars also, for wasting my precious time is fraustrating and a serious breach of contract. As a lawyer, that code 6848 is clearly unacceptable. Please try to fax the reciept to me because, i will use it to make my claims against the western union Regards, MARTIN FADEKO FOR PETER GEORGE. I ignore this email as part of a new angle. BTW, when did I say that Martin Fadeko was an honest person? Peter George 24/03/06 Dear Eliza Dane, Thank you for your understanding that my accountant is a very honest person. Like I have told you yesterday, he has been with me for the past 11 years and we have never recorded any disorder. However, I will be going back to London this evening to see my family, also I will like you to wire the money through your bank to the below account. It can only take 4 banking days to clear in my bank. Please do understand and bear with me. Or if there is any other western union out let in your area like gas station or supermarket, then you can go there and send the money to me in London. Send it through my chambers secretary with the below information: Anderson Adrian Address: 321 High Road, Leytonstone, London E11 4JT. MTCN number: Text question: Who is your saviour? Answer: Jesus Adrian is my chambers secretary and I want you to send the money in her name as I will be leaving tomorrow to France for the completion of the pending case we have at the Paris High Court. I have already sent Marin to France in the afternoon for him to go a make arrangement for the filing of the case. But if there is no western union outlet in your area, then just go to your bank and wire the money. I am sorry for the troubles you have gone through, and I want you to know that any positive matter used to be hard in the starting point. I assure you that your benefit must be released to you, and after the release of your fund to you by the security company, I know that you will like to come to London to see me. Below is the account information where you will wire the money. HERE IS THE ACCOUNT: BANK: CITIBANK NEW YORK 111, WALL STREET, NEW YORK 10043. SWIFT CODE: CITIUS33 ABA: 21000089 BENEFICIARRY BANK: INTERCONTINENTAL BANK PLC ACCOUNT NO.: 36023765 FURTHER CREDIT TO: UNION OVERSEAS LTD Ensure that you adhere to this directive so that we shall commence next week Monday. I have forwarded my application to the legal department of the security company, also the probate registry of the High Court of Netherlands has approved our application for the letter of Administration, which is supposed to be issued to us tomorrow, but everything will be pending till Monday. Do not forget to fax me the copy of the wire transfer slip or email it to me if the money is wired through your bank. But if it is western union then ensure that you send the information to me as soon as you send it. Thanks, while we wait to serve you better. Peter H. George. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 25/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, How are you doing today? I confronted Peter George yesterday and he told me that he was not able to pick the money because the western union office in Amsterdam said that the information you gave to him is not existing in there system. Please I want you to keep me updated on what exactly is going on with this transaction. I am getting worried and Peter George told me yesterday that he was going back to London, and I do not know if he has contacted you on that. However,I want to know if you have discussed with him on the next line of action. If is me alone, I want us to finalize this business at least next week so that we can know what to do with our money. Why is it that the information was not accepted by the western union. Have you been to the western union outlet where you from send the money to verify why. Please let me know. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Where to start? Western Union were playing funny buggers and insisting I fill out some stupid form giving full particulars of the recipient. While I was trying to get WU to play ball, there was weird shit going on with Peter George; Martin Fadeko (his accountant) was threatening him (why I have no idea). What sort of circus is he running over there? I wanted a simple job done, and I get Fawlty Towers! Then WU cancels the transaction (under some provision 6848, whatever the fuck that is - the supervisor dude didn't explain) and Peter George (or his bully boy) tells me to fax me the receipt. Fine, except the fax number doesn't work. I told him that but he hasn't replied. He certainly hasn't told me he's going back to London! What next? I have no idea. Emmanuel, speaking plainly, what's with your lawyers? One's a total brain-dead git and the other one seems to spend a lot of time trying not to be thumped by his assistant. You're worried? I'm just confused. Eliza Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 26/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I called Peter George after reading your mail, and he told me that everything is fine, that he has given you another option. Please I will advice you to wire the money to him through the account information he gave to you. I know this man as a very honest person who doesn't like cheating or double word. Please forward his mail to me let me see it and I want you to follow my directive please so that we can sail through. I am waiting. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, It's nice of him to tell you, he sure as hell hasn't told me, unless you count that option he included (not that clearly) at the start. Has he forgotten my email address or something? Peter George may be honest - he "doesn't like cheating or double word", well geez, what a motherhood statement if ever there was one - but he's not much when it comes to running his business, getting roughed up by his accountant, for crying out loud! He must have whipped cream for a backbone... BTW, are you accusing me of cheating or "double word" (whatever that is)? How have I cheated anyone? I've done everything I can to fall into line with you guys and I haven't got any thanx for it. All I'm getting now is whingeing. Eliza Eliza Dane Mr George, I have not heard from you since Thursday though Mr Greene has, in that time. Please confirm receipt of this email. Please note that I want a reply from you, not Martin Fadeko. I will not accept messages from him. Regards, Eliza Dane He can apologise all he wants, I'm not hearing him. Peter George 28/03/06 Dear Eliza Dane, Sorry for the delay.I have been away from the office due to some personal family problems.Please, let me know the situation about the payment. We apologise for all the troubles. Thanks, Peter.H. George. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 28/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Thanks for your mail. Ans I am sorry for responding late to your mail. I want you to understand that the progress of this transaction depends on you, and delay to this transaction is not good on our side. However, you misunderstood my word. I never said that you are cheating, but I was telling you that Peter Geeorge is a very honest person, and does not like cheating. So there is no way for him to cheat you. He is very ready to work for us, and he told me on phone that he will be quiting his service to you if you refuse to send him the money money to start up the documentation aspect of our transaction. I am soliciting you to kind act so that we can be able to get this transaction done. Let me know your response please. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, This business is not being stalled by me. Peter George isn't returning my emails, and this is starting to piss me off. He can obviously get through to you, so what the bloody hell is keeping him from sending a simple message to me? I don't see any point in continuing with him - Western Union has something against him, and that ain't normal! You say he's honest, I think otherwise. As well, I can't respect someone whose office sounds like a playground. Do me a favour and give that loser the boot. And for God's sake look a bit harder for a new one who can actually (a) do the job (b) isn't on someone's shit list (c) knows the difference between an invoice and a receipt (d) doesn't get slapped around by his hired help. Eliza Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 28/03/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I got your mail and phoned Peter George to know why he is not responding to your email.He confirmed to me that he replied your mail as at yesterday and demanded to know what is the situation about the payment.Please, do not hesitate to let me know what ever is the problem. Thanking you for your co-operation. Mr Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, If he said he replied to my email, he's either a liar or a screwup. I've got nothing from him since last Thursday when I told him WU had cancelled the transaction. Either he's chosen to cut and run - to be kind, maybe he's trying to stop getting slugged by his accountant - or he somehow totally fucked up his address book and some poor schleb in Godknowswhere is getting my emails. Like I said, forget about him. He hasn't done squat except sit on his ass with his hand out. For God's sake, find someone who can actually do a day's work! Eliza Peter George 29/03/06 Dear Eliza Dane, Mr Greene just phoned me that you are not happy abuot my refusal to respond to your email.Please, bear with me .I sent an email to you yesterday and i a m suprise that you did not recieve my email.In the email, i demanded to know what is the situation about the payment because of the option we gave to you. We are sorry for all the troubles and also,it is our earnest desire to work for you with a sure promise of a sound succes. Thanks, Peter H George Peter George 30/03/06 Dear Eliza Dane, Sorry for the delay.I have been away from the office due to some personal family problems.Please, let me know the situation about the payment We apologise for all the troubles. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, It's been nearly a week and not a fucking word in that time! It only proves my point. For god's sake let that wanker go and find someone else who can do as he told! This is beyond a joke. You promised it would all be hitch free and smooth and over and done with in fourteen days. Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 31/03/2006 Dear Good Sister, I am confuse in all this matter. Peter George have told me that he has been mailing you without any response from you. Can you please tell me what is the delay all about. I am no longer comfortable with the way this transaction is going. Actually, we supposed to have finished this transaction since last week, and this delay is trying to rob us this chance. Please for the sake of our furture, I want you to contact Peter George, and ask him what is going on at his side. Remember that we are the one that onws the money, and not peter George. So you need to work up things so that we can get this transaction done by next week. I did not see anything so big that will be causing this whole delay. Please cooperate with him and let him work for us for our own benefit. I am waiting to hear from you. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, There is no confusion. Peter George may SAY he's been mailing me, but what he SAYS and what he DOES are two different things. I've checked my spam filter and blocked sender settings and they're not hindering things. If there's a fault it's down to him. Don't ask me what the hold up is, ask him! I've sent messages to Peter George before and he hasn't answered. There's no point trying again. He's up to no good and I want him out of the business! Screw cooperation, get someone who can do what he's fucking well told! Eliza Eliza Dane Mr Greene, Please send this on to Mr George: ** Since you haven't bothered to communicate with me for over a week (despite the fact that you've spoken freely to Mr Greene), I am telling Mr Greene to sack you from this task as you can't do a simple thing. You haven't even got the guts to sack your accountant, but let him push you around. I want results, not excuses. ** Mr Greene, make it so. Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 31/03/2006 Dear Elia Dane, Please I want you to understand that this man Peter George has been here in Amsterdam for (3) good days, and he has made all his fillings with the hope that you will be sending the money to him, which later had problem. This man is good for this job and he has established a good relationship with the members of our staff. Remember that we have changed the first lawyer and trying to make another change will bring suspence in this matter. Please beloved friend, let us work with this man and I am sure that he will give us a sound result which will make us to maintain our relationship with him. I want you to reason with me and look ahead to see what I am saying. He told me this morning on phone that he has sent over (5) mails to you without you responding to his mail. He later told me that he will forward the mails to me for my perusal. So I solicite you to kindly contact him, and send the money to him so that he will proceed in securing this transaction. Remember that we are like one family and we need to be taking advice or suggestions from ourselves. I am sure you are following me very closely to understand what I am telling you. Do communicate him to enable him commence I beg you my sister. I don't want anything that will jeopadise our efforts please. I am waiting for your immediate response. Emmanuel Greene. Time for another bit of confusion. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, What ARE you talking about? I don't see why Peter George's dental appointments are any reason I should trust him. "[G]ood for his job"? What the fuck has he DONE? Fuck all as far as I can make out. All he does is bleat to you and leave me out of the loop. Do you remember WHY we changed lawyers? Of course you do - YOU hired that useless drongo! Then YOU hire another bludger! Worse still, Western Union won't let me send money to him. Why would that be... unless he's dodgy? Look, if you won't do what has to be done, I will. Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Mr Greene: I have heard nothing from Peter George for over a week now. I demand that you fire him, right now! He's lying to you, and he's been blacklisted by Western Union. What more do you need? I'm pretty sure that if I pay him the money he will start demanding more. For God's sake sack the little weasel! Eliza Dane He forwarded the last four emails from "Peter George". Now he claims to have sacked that guy and gone on to the third lawyer. Well, it's not quite as final as in A TALE OF TWO BAITS (The Unkindly Contributor), but nonetheless... Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 04/04/2006 Dear Sister Eliza, Your mail was quite noted. The fowarded mails are from Peter George. Those are the mails that he told me that he has been sending to you without yopur responding to him. However, I have found one lawyer with the below information and I will be finalizing talks with him tomorrow as soon as I hear from you. THE INFORMATION IS AS BELOW VAN VELDE ADVOCATES HARRIET FREEZERSTR 1103 JP AMSTERDAM. CONTACT MR JOHN VELDE. EMAIL: jvanvelde@yahoo.com I will proceed with him as soon as I hear from you. Regards, Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene: I read the forwards. They didn't get to me. Anyone can mock up an email. I think he's covering up his own incompetence, or worse. By all means get this Mr Velde on side. But for God's sake, make sure he's up to it. Your choices so far aren't exactly filling me with confidence... Eliza Dane I think Peter George is trying to taunt Eliza into replying. Won't work, mugu! Peter George 04/04/06 Dear Eliza Dane, From all indications, you have no money to make your claims.Exchanging mails everyday is not the issue.The fact is the ability to fulfillall its obligations.As a proof, between 26th march to 4th april 2006, we have received three payments from western union with the same name; Martin Fadeko.I Hope to send the payment slips to Mr Green as evidence for them to know that something is wrong with you. We even gave you an option but you expressed no readiness to cooperate or make use of the options.I a m convinced that no lawyer can work with you and i sympathise with any one that may have business with you .It is also of a stategic importance to express my optimism with my wisdom of experiences that you cannot maintain a successful relationship even with boy freind or husband because of your controversial nature.Please ,look for another lawyer you can use like tools and i know that there is none. Bye George. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Let me know ASAP how the talks with the new lawyer went. Did Peter George say anything when you told him he was fired? I am assuming you've told him... Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 05/04/2006 Dear Sister, How are you doing today? Hope everything is moving on well with you. However, I have finalized talks with the new lawyer and he is ready to work for us. I told him about the other two lawyers that could not deliver to their promise and he promised that he will work out things as soon as we give him the necessary assistance. Therefore, I told him that you will be contacting him today. Find his information below: THE INFORMATION IS AS BELOW VAN VELDE ADVOCATES HARRIET FREEZERSTR 1103 JP AMSTERDAM. CONTACT MR JOHN VELDE. EMAIL: jvanvelde@yahoo.com Let me know as soon as you get in touch with him. Be good. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, I'll send the same letter as before. I just hope he's up to it. And what do you mean, "Be good"? Eliza Eliza Dane VAN VELDE ADVOCATES HARRIET FREEZERSTR 1103 JP AMSTERDAM. CONTACT MR JOHN VELDE. Dear Mr Velde, I require your services for the reason outlined below. I have applied to FORTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV, AMSTERDAM HOLLAND, for the release of the sum of US$18.3 Million that belonged to my late Uncle MR KIM YONGOAK who died in the crash of Korean Air Line KE 801 on 6th August 1997. For further information see this link: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list. I require the service of your company to claim the fund, because the money belonging to my late Uncle is held by the aforementioned FURTUNE FINANCE & SECURITY BV. Please reply detailing the ways by which could be realised as soon as possible. I have already made a formal Application for this claim to the security company. Thank you for your anticipated co-operation. Regards, Eliza Dane. John Velde 05/04/06 Dear Eliza Dane, This is to acknowledge that your email has been received.We hope to get back to you in detail about our findings with the security company.Your satisfaction is our pride. Yours Faithfully, john Velde. Despite what he said, there was no invoice. John Velde 06/04/06 Attn: Eliza Dane Dear Madam, It is our avowed intention to intimate you about our fact findings with Fortune finance and security BV Amsterdam. The evidence is clear that the sum of US$18.3 million belonging to Mr Kim Yongoak,is in the custody of the above mentioned security company. We are fully committed to actualise your dream to claim this money if you can give us your maximum cooperation. Below are step by step guide lines you must oblige to accomplish your task in record time. 1. A copy of your indentification; passport or drivers licence. 2. A letter of authority duelly signed by you that will enable me legally to submit the application of claims. 3. Handling and administrative charges of Euros4140.00; In accordance with the invoice. This money can be paid through money gram,western union or any other means available. But we prefere western union most because,it is faster and helpful for our daily cash requirements. Be asured that we can achieve our target and deliver on our promises. Yours Faithfully, John Velde. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Greene, Here's what Mr Velde sent. I'll say just this; why does it have to be Western Union? And he's saying, "In accordance with the invoice" - he didn't send one. Not a good start... Eliza Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 07/04/2006 Dear Eliza , I Asked Mr Velde about the invoice he said that the invoice has been sent to you. He also gave me some reasons for the choice of western union as stated below. 1: To avoid delay;Any money paid into account always take seven days before it can be cleared. 2: Wester union is faster that we can pick the money the same time it is send for our daily cash requirements 3: They can only give their account information exclusively for amounts of money ranging from ten thousand and above. Please, dont hesitate to always let me know whatever may be the problem. Thanks, Mr Green. John Velde 07/04/06 Attn: Eliza Dane Dear Madam, Please find attached the proforma invoice. Also, you are free to let us know the mode you want to use and sending the money to us so that we shall proceed on your claim process. Yours faithfully, John Valde. John Velde 07/04/06 Attn: Eliza Dane Dear Madam, Prior to the telephone chat with your representative here Emmanuel Greene, this morning that we shall give you our account where you have to make the payment. However, we have resolve to give you our account detail as below. SOCIETE GENERALE BANK 1 PLACE DE LABERLINE, 93200 SAINT DENIS, FRANCE. SWIFT CODE: SOGEFRPP ACCT/IBAN NO: FR7630003040250002030206028 BEN: SOEXIMEX S.A Why we formally choose WU was for the fastest way of getting the money to enable us commence with your claim project. But the account will take about five banking days to get ok. So feel free to wire the money through this means, and remember to copy us with the transaction slip of the payment immediately. Thanks for your cooperation. John Valde. Eliza Dane Dear Mr Velde, You were prompt, so thanx for that, but this isn't quite what I meant. There's no detail. "Handling and Administrative Charges" - handling of what? Who's charging how much for what? And could you please confirm if you are demanding payment in advance for this? Regards, Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Mr Greene, I heard from John Velde, and it's not good - for me, anyway. He wants (if my maths is up to snuff) about AUS$7,000. I haven't got even half that much, if he wants it in advance (and I've guessing that he does). What now? Eliza Dane. John Velde 08 April 2006 Dear Eliza Dane I a m trying to be honest and fair to you.The claim involve is a big amount of money. And we are determined to ensure that you must smile at the end. Remember that nothing good comes easy Administrative charge is 2000,00 EUROS for making use of our staff Handling charge is 2150.00 euros this is the cost of procurementof all the documents that will be needed. We reasure you our commitment to serve you. Yours faithfully, John Velde. Eliza Dane Mr Van Velde, I know you have to pay people. Fine, wages are OK. But 2150 Euros for getting papers together - man, we just want four bog-standard documents, not First Edition Shakespeare folios. Why so much? "Remember that nothing good comes easy" - please don't patronise me, I have a father for that job. AND you never gave me an answer on the question about money up front. I don't assume - it makes an ASS out of U and ME! Regards, Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 08/04/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I understand your problem.But it is my respectful view that you can pay Mr Velde instalmentally.The important thing now is to commit him to comence work on your claim.We can negotiate with Mr Velde.Please, let me know what you think about my view. Thanks, Mr Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, OK, I'll try that. But why the hell can't he send a bill after the deal is done, like every other damn professional that I could name? Eliza John Velde 09 April 2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Bear with us and look at the amout of money involve.To charge you 4150euros for a legal claim that involves an amount of us18.3 million is quite reasonable. To procure this documents ,we must spend some money depending on the amount of money we want to claim.No lawyer can do this without you making some advance payment. You can pay this money step by step while the job is in progress. We are always willing to serve you better. Yours Faithfully, Mr John Velde. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 09/04/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Mr Veld explained that he cannot spend money from his pocket to comence this job when he does not know how serious you are to make this claim and he sent an email to let you understand this.What do you think!. To me , it is not bad.Let me know. Thanks Let's see if this can get a reaction - I rewrote an old scam into a copy of the original email. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, Right now what REALLY matters is your explanation for the message I got this morning. Here it is. ** FROM THE DESK OF MR.SIMEON WANG BRANDBY,WANG & ASSOCIATES SOLICITORS & LEGAL PRACTITIONERS VICTORIA CHAMBERS 16-18 STRUHON GROUND LONDON SW3P 2HP. Greetings to you. Please treat this correspondence with utmost urgency. Dear Friend, I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise as we have never met before. I am Mr.Simeon Wang an Attorney based in London. I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families. I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of our company who perished along with his next of kin with Korean Air Line, flight number 801 with the whole passengers on 6th of augustus 1997 and for your perusal you can view this site http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list Since the demise of this our customer, I personally has watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of US$18.3M (Eighteen Million Three Hundred Thoudsand United States Dollars) which has been with our company for a very long time. On this note, I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the Next of Kin since nobody is coming for the fund again. The Banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay more than 10 years, because the money will be recalled to the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund after this period. In view of this I got your contact through the internet when I was making a research on a foreigner that I will use in this great opportunity because I don't want the money to be recalled to our Bank treasury as uncliamed fund. I have also agreed to offer 50% of the total sum and the balanace of 50% will be for me. The reason for a foreigner in the business is for the fact that the deceased man was a foreigner and it is not authorized by the law guiding our Bank for a citizen of this country to make the claim of the fund. So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the release and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable Bank account as the surviving relation to the deceased. If you are really sure of your integerity, trustworthy and confidentiality, and accept not to cheat or disappoint me after this business, reply with your telephone and fax numbers and banking account details where you wish to receive the fund. Upon receipt of the above mentioned informations, indicating your interest in the business, I will send you by fax or e-mail a letter of application which you will type and send back to our company to enable us start this transaction. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this business is hitch free and dont have any negative impact. You should not entertain any fear as all modalities for the smooth and easy transfer of this fund has been finalized, this transaction will be completed within 14 working days immediately we start the business. Waiting for your urgent response and please kindly delete if you are not interested. Regards, SIMEON WANG QC. 16-18 STRUHON GROUND LONDON SW3P 2HP. NB: It is important that you read this proposal carefully, for a better understanding. Please stand informed that this business proposal remains genuine and it conforms with all known laws of International transactions. ** So what have you got to say? I'm waiting. Eliza Dane Interesting result - actually not too bad a shuffle, considering. Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 10 April 2006 Dear Eliza, Thank you so much for your update. However, you see what I was telling you about changing of lawyers. I have investigated the source of the letter and found that it was from a lawyer in Peter George Chambers. They want to frustrate this transaction by all means, that was there reason for doing that. Please I don't like the delay any longer. Let's be serious and get this transaction done before the imposters foil this business for us. You need to cooperate with JOHN VELDE to enable him proceed. Emmanuel Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, So you're saying that I should have stuck with Peter George because he's the kind of unprincipled son of a bitch who'd try to screw us over if we broke away? Fuck that, I say the decision to ditch the little fuckwit was the right one. I'll contact John Velde and offer him an instalment. That's all I can do. Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Mr Velde, I had no idea that legal and business fees for lawyers were on a commission basis. However, I guess I have to accept that the legal profession does things differently in other parts of the world. Moving on - I can't afford to pay you right now. If my maths is up to snuff, your charges come to just under AU$7000. I can't pay even half that. We have to make a deal. Get back to me with something to consider. Regards, Eliza Dane John Velde 11 April 2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I have been very fair and considerate with you. But i can agree for a deal just to get things moving. Now,you can pay me 3500euros.You can pay this money step by step to avoid further delay. Your Faithfully, John Velde. That's not what he said, but hey... Eliza Dane Mr Velde, Get real! If I can't pay half of 4140 Euros (about AU$7000), then I sure as hell can't pay 3500 Euros (about AU$5800). Get back to me with an offer that makes sense or don't bother replying. Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Mr Greene, I tried to make an arrangement with Mr Velde - "I can't afford to pay you right now. If my maths is up to snuff, your charges come to just under AU$7000. I can't pay even half that." - but he said this - "Now,you can pay me 3500euros." Sounds like he's playing hardball. Any thoughts? Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) , 11/04/2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I dont know what to do again. Please, let me know what you can pay. Give me your own price so that i can know how to convince Mr Velde. Thanks, Mr Green. Eliza Dane Mr Greene: I can offer him AU$2500 now (that's 1500 Euros) and the rest either at intervals or on completion. I can't be more precise than that. Regards, Eliza "Intimated" again! What a gift! John Velde 12 April 2006 Dear Eliza Dane, Mr Greene approached me .He expressed the need for us to reach a compromise. He intimated me about how you intend to pay.To resolve this issue, i have agreed. You can now pay the 1500.00 euros and the balance is to be paid at intervals or on completion.The money can be paid into the account number i gave to you or if you like,you can also use western union with the name of my personal messenger; the name is; SUSAN ROBERT GROENEVEEN 76, 1103 AMSTERDAM Z.O. once again, i must not fail to reiterate our unrelenting commitment to serve you. Yours Faithfully, Mr Velde. Eliza Dane Mr Velde, Let me make it clear that I did NOT give Mr Greene any orders to threaten you in ANY way WHATSOEVER! Any deal you might have made with him is void! I didn't want this! Eliza Dane Emmanuel Greene (Great U. Greene) 12 April 2006 Dear Eliza Dane, I have spoken with Mr Velde. He has gently accepted your offer .Now you can go ahead and send the money into the account number he gave to you. Thanking you for your immense effort to resolve this issue. Mr Greene. Eliza Dane Mr Greene, Oh yeah, you SPOKE with him! He told me how you threatened him! What the fuck did you do that for? I didn't ask you to do anything so stupid! Eliza Time to end it - though not quite letting them on that they've been baited... Eliza Dane Mr Greene, I just don't understand what the fuck you are up to. All I know is that you can't be trusted to do a single thing right. I've been thinking about this whole business, and how it sounded dodgy from the start, and with what you've done, it would be folly to keep trying. I am going to forward your details to the Dutch embassy to investigate you as an embezzler and probable money-launderer. Eliza Dane Eliza Dane Mr Velde, The deal is off. I am going to denounce Emmanuel Greene to the Dutch consulate here as a thief and money launderer, probably connected to drug dealing. I'd advise you to cut off all contact with him and get some protection. Eliza Dane And it wouldn't be right to end without a parting shot at "Peter George". Eliza Dane So you finally stopped pretending and decided to answer me! Well, the truth is that you're a fucking liar. Emmanuel Greene believed me over you. In the end you, Chris Ozoms and John Velde proved to be complete and utter fuckwits - not a brain, or even a brain cell, between the lot of you. Your problem is that you don't like women who talk back. Tough shit, jerkwad, I'm not shutting up on your say-so. I tell it as I call it, and you are a LOSER. Give up that lawyer shit and get an honest job, like hiring out as a bum-boy. You'll get more respect that way. And I hope you enjoy the taste of cock, 'cos it's going to be all that's going for you.