JAMES MOBI KABILA
From: James Mobi Kabila.FAMILY INVESTMENT.
Dear,In appreciation of your esteemed contact received through a reliable source and the choice of your country I wish to introduce myself, I am James Mobi Kabila the son of the late Democratic Republic of Congo President Laurent Desire Kabila of the blessed memory. I know this letter might come to you as a surprise but I honestly do not intend to surprise you. I write this letter in respect of my intention to invest the sum of US$35M(Thirty Five Million United State Dollars) with you. I inherited this money from my mother. This money was got through the sales of Diamond and Timber when my father was the head of state. My mother though not her legal wife used her privilege position to engage in the business of Diamond and Timber since she knows that her survival will depend on how much she can get out of the privilege situation.When my father was assassinated on 16TH Jan. 01 by one of his bodyguards Lt.Rashidi Kasereke through the conspiracy of some top army officers that wanted to topple him I escaped to Athens-Greece because of the fear that I might be arrested by my half brother Lt. General Joseph Kabila the present head of state. Actually his mother and my mother are not in the best of relationship because of who among them will be the first lady tussle and this ultimately affected us their children. Considering the relationship between Athens-Greece and the Democratic Republic of Congo Government, my mother advised me to leave for Athens-Greece for security reason, while the funds were deposited with a Security Company in Athens-Greece. On getting to Athens-Greece where I have been living since then as a political refugee I am seeking for a reliable foreigner who can assist me in moving this money out for safe banking and profitable investment. Honestly I contacted you because I don't want to invest this money in Athens-Greece due to my status here as a political Refugee. And moreover I wouldn't want to take risk because this money is all that I and my Mother is depending on because My half brother has seized all my father's assets and money and left I and my mother empty handed without knowing about this funds deposited at the Security Company in Athens-Greece so that is why I decided that investing this money abroad should be the best investment for me. I will be honored if I can be given the privilege of investing this money with your help.In view of this plight, I expect you to be trustworthy and kind enough to respond to this distress call to save my mother and I from a hopeless future. And if you agree, I hereby agree to compensate your sincere and candid effort in this regard with 15% of the total money and annual 5% of the after tax returns on investment for the first three years. Thereafter, the term shall be varied. 5% for expenses which may arise during the transaction. When the money ($35million) is moved into your discrete account, you will be allowed to draw 15% in your favor, while the remaining "MONEY" will be invested meaningfully for our future if possible in your area of business and deterrents sectors of the Economy in your country which are dividends yielding.Whatever your decision is please reach me immediately through my Email, and keep this letter tight secret for the interest of my family. Best Regards,James Mobi Kabila.
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
What is the meaning of this?Our rich multinational firm stands ready to do business, but you must reply otherwise you will find yourself in gladiator school very quickly.
Best Regards
Professor Billy Rubin
The Centre for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals
Australia
JAMES MOBI KABILA
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From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com> Sent : Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:40:03 PM Dear Professor Billy Rubin,Please I do not understand your mail. Kindly inform me immediately if you are willing to assist my mother and I so that I will inform you on how best you will receive this money on our behalf.Thanks as I wait for your otherwise. I attach the picture of the money before it was deposited to the security company. Regards,James.M.Kabila. |
 [Other inspiring images of this sort can be seen in the Gallery.] |
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
18th March, 2004Dear Mr Kabila,
We are ready to help you and your mother in any way we can, because God knows you need help.
My apologies for the delay. Here in Australia our night is your daytime, and your day is our night. This is very confusing sometimes as not only do we walk around upside down, we also have to work all night and sleep all day if we want to transact international business.
Our company has called an emergency board meeting. Dame Edna Everidge has rushed away from the annual Melbourne gladioli festival and Lord Henry has been prised away from his weed research in the smoking room.
It seems you need to move a large sum of money out of the country. We may be able to spare the use of our private company plane (the Concorde). This plane has a special compartment made by Drinkwater Corporation which would be just the right size for your money trunks.
The best way to move money is for you to become a shareholder in our company. This will enable us to move the money and avoid Australian taxes. Becoming a shareholder is easy you just have to fill in a form and email it back.
Are you willing to do this?
Warmest regards,
Professor Billy Rubin
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Thursday, 18 March 2004 10:27:03 PM
Dear Professor Billy Rubin,
How are you and your business? Received your e-mail and the content demands explanations, thanks once again for your prompt response to my email and interest in this business which is of mutual benefit to both parties involved if build on absolute trust, honesty and promptness. Secondly I will be very greatful to be a shareholder and again I must solicit your strictest confidentiality in this business because of some reason.
Below is a brief introduction of what I want from you and I will be grateful if you can be of assistance to my mother and me.
My mother acquired this wealth when my father was the president of my country before he was killed. These funds have already been deposited with a security company here in Athens-Greece as family treasure and for safekeeping. And this security company functions as a place/firm/company where valuables are kept. The reason why I had to deposit it with a security company as family treasure is because the money is in cash and the Security Company does not receive cash. Again I could not deposit the money in financial institution because of fears that the money might be confiscated.
I need you as a foreign partner who will receive this consignment overseas on my behalf because of some security reason guiding me and my mother now, as the attitude we are getting from my step brother Joseph (who is now the present head of state) is nothing to write home about, and you can see from the recent demonstration in my country about his system of government, if you listen to world news. For this transaction to progress I will require your full details your address, your direct phone/mobile and fax numbers, your religion and marital status, and your occupation in order to facilitate the transaction.
Upon the receipt of this requirement, I will proceed for the change of the original name of the deposit of the consignment to your name as the new beneficiary of the consignment immediately and you are expected to receive this consignment here in Athens-Greece and open a bank account where these funds will be lodged in for transfer to your account/proper investment overseas and most important thing is you being honest to me when this money comes into your care.
So you have to send the above requirements and contacts immediately for more briefing about this transaction, when you reply me, I will brief you the necessary steps for the successful transfer of this money to your country within the shortest possible time depending on your cooperation. I hope that from my explanations that you have understood what the business is all about and why I need you, if you have any question do not fail to ask.
Finally, I want to assure you that this transaction is hundred percent risk-free and legal.
Thanks as I wait for your urgent response.
Regards,
James Mobi Kabila.
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
19th March, 2004Dear Mr Kabila,
Our business transaction will be built on trust and integrity and honesty and will be concluded entirely to our own satisfaction.
1) My contact details are:
Professor Billy Rubin
The Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals
14 Woolloomoloo Street
Smiggins Holes
NSW
Australia
Phone 61+3+5554 6319
Fax 61+3+4444 6323
Occupation: Managing Director
Marital Status: Married with three children (lymphocyte, neutrophil Phil and globulin)
Religion: God Fearing Christian
2) I have attached two files. One is our share price, which as you can see has been going up a lot recently. The other is a share application form. Can you please print this out on your computer, fill in your name and a photograph, scan it and send it back. Can I ask that the photograph be one of you holding a sign saying "Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals. That way, we will know the photograph really is you.
3) I have been working with our financial adviser Ms Martha Stewart who works for the Accounting Firm Quick Turn and Partners. This is a company with utmost integrity and honesty and will not disclose our transaction to anyone. They have advised that once you have completed the consignment forms and the share application they can arrange for the purchase of shares in our company through our Athens office. These shares are then moved offshore to Tasmania where we purchase a quick drying inkwell Savings and Loans series of debentures. These are then transferred back into the holding company, rolled over and offset against the original purchase which then pays out dividends in US dollars. This money is then converted to cash in any country of your choice.
I must say, my friend and business partner, that I dont fully understand all this financial talk, but it has worked very well for us in the past. With our rising share price, you should expect a healthy profit of a few hundred thousand dollars!
Our company has been working all over the world researching new medicines to help the sick. We look forward to a profitable business relationship to the benefit of both you and ourselves.
As we say here in Australia, you scratch my nuts and Ill scratch yours!
Give my regards to your mother.
Warmest regards
Professor Billy Rubin
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Saturday, 20 March 2004 1:20:32 AM
Dear Professor Billy Rubin,
I am in receipt of your mail and every content well noted. Please I can not fill the share application form now until I conclude this transaction because we have to conlude one before moving on to another. I am promising you that as soon as this transaction is concluded and the money in your custody, we will then talk about the shares.
Please Billy I want to know if you can be able to come to Athens-Greece by next week in order to claim this consignment from the security company so as to effect your name as the sole beneficiary of the consignment.
Thanks as I wait for your immeadiate response. My mother is extending her greetings to you and your family.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
22nd March, 2004Dear Mr Kabila,
I will not be able to come to Athens myself personally, but our company can send one of our most trusted field operatives Lord Henry Thompson Fotheringham-Smythe. Lord Henry is currently in the USA catching up with an old lady friend of his called Agent 99, but he stands by ready to travel to Athens at a moments notice.
We will get all the paperwork in order for the shares so that you can purchase these once the consignment has been transferred.
If it is not too much bother, we do require a recent photograph of you so that Lord Henry will know what you look like.
Best Regards,
Professor Billy Rubin
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:09:57 AM
Dear Prof. Billy,
I am in receipt of your mail and please I will like to know if Lord Henry will be coming to Athens by this week so that I can inform the security company in order to make it an appointment. Please should I effect your own name or Lord Henry's name as the beneficiary of the consignment and how trusty is he. As I told you before this money is our only hope and future.
Please Prof. Billy I will not use the whole money (US$35M) to purchase shares because I have gone through the the share certificate and I understand that your company wants me to buy shares worth of US$35M which is not what we wanted. I attach my Int.Passport and as well I will like to have yours and that of Lord Henry so as to know each other well.
Thanks as I wait for your immediate response.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
23rd March, 2004Dear Mr Kabila,
Thankyou for your passport photo. Dame Edna says you are a fine looking fellow and she said something about wanting to have your babies. Unfortunately I dont think that will be possible as she is 85 years old, but Dame Edna does remain young at heart!
To Business:
Please put my name on the consignment documents.
Lord Henry can come over at a moments notice. He has purchased a fine wooden hand carved chest which will be most suitable for transporting the money.
You must let me know where Lord Henry needs to take the money. Is he taking it back to the Republique Democratique du Congo or somewhere else?
I must say Lord Henry is a very trustworthy man and has been a loyal Number Two for our company for many years.
Once you have sent all the documentation, you must let me know when Lord Henry needs to fly over to we can make the appropriate arrangements. Can you let me know where you are staying in Athens?
Warmest Regards,
Professor Billy Rubin Esq
JAMES MOBI KABILA
Sent : Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:29:13 PMDear Prof. Billy, Thanks for your mail and my greetings to Dame Edna. I will love to have babies but that will be when am settled and from a younger girl.
I have effected your name as the sole beneficiary of the consignment and please Lord Henry will take the money to your country for the investment purpose. For now I have nothing to do with my country. I will be very glad if Lord Henry will be in Athens by this Friday so that both of us will go together to the security company for the claiming of the consignment. Please contact me with this number 306946086933 so that we can discuss more. I also awaits for the pictures (You and Lord Herny).
Thanks and my greetings to every one as I wait to hear from you.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
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24th March, 2004 Dear Mr Kabila, What a delight to hear from you. Lord Henry has fuelled the Concorde, and he will be flying in to Athens on Friday. I trust you will be able to meet him at the airport and transport him in the style to which he is accustomed. There is one small matter that is most urgent. The Concorde needs a long runway, so Lord Henry needs you to find out how long the runway is at the Athens airport. Perhaps you could ring them and find out. If they wont tell you, perhaps you could walk along the road next to the airport and measure it in feet. If you can also give us your shoe size we can work out if the runway is long enough. You see, if the runway is too short the plane will go off the end and crash! I have attached a photograph of myself. Best of luck. Professor Billy Rubin Australia |
 [Picture of Professor Julius Sumner Miller. His specialty was putting boiled eggs into bottles. When the flame burns it uses up oxygen, and then atmospheric pressure does the work. He was big in the 1980s and at the time it drove the milk board crazy as they couldnt recycle all the bottles with eggs in them!] |
LORD HENRY
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From the desk of Lord Henry Thompson Fotheringham-Smythe Esq CMG GCMG BSC SSC Field Operations The Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals [Re Lord Henrys qualifications CMG and GCMG are from the TV show Yes Minister Call me God and God calls me God. BSC and SSC are from the TV show Red Dwarf Bronze Swimming Certificate and Silver Swimming Certificate respectively. Lord Henry is a bit over-qualified for this sort of caper.] |
 [Picture of Rolf Harris a great Australian. Not that this lad would know] |
My Dear Mr James Kabila,
I will be concluding this transaction in Athens, and I look forward to seeing you soon.
Professor Billy Rubin has told me all about you.
1) I look forward to concluding this business transaction soon. You did not say if I would need any money for unexpected expenses, but I have brought some anyway.
2) I attach a photograph of myself so you will recognise me at the airport.
3) Will you be meeting me yourself at the airport?
4) I do need to know the length of the runway at the airport. This is most important, because we have had problems where runways have been too short, and we have bumped the nose of the Concorde plane at the end of the runway. It takes ages to hammer the nose back into the proper shape. Do let me know the length of the runway as soon as possible, theres a good chap.
5) I will be arriving at exactly 9:18pm on Friday. I look forward to meeting you and your wonderful mother.
Yours in friendship,
Lord Henry
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From James KabilaDear Prof. Billy,
Thanks for your mail and your picture looks good. Please ask Lord Henry to contact me immediately with the phone number I gave you (306946086933) so that both of us can discuss. I have also sent him mail asking him to contact me immediately.
Thanks as I wait for his call and please you can call me also. My greetings to every one.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Wednesday, 24 March 2004 3:03:17 PM
Dear Lord Henry,
Thanks for your email. You looks so cool in the picture. Please contact me with this number (306946086933) immediately so we can talk.
Thanks as I wait for your immediate call.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
LORD HENRY
From the desk of Lord Henry Thompson Fotheringham-Smythe Esq CMG GCMG BSC SSCField Operations
The Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals
Dear Mr Kabila,
Professor Billy has had trouble getting through on your number.
I must know the length of the runway before Friday night.
I look forward to seeing you then. Will you be at the airport?
Sincerely,
Lord Henry
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
Professor Billy RubinThe Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals
25th March, 2004
Hello Mr Kabila,
I have tried calling your number a few times but someone keeps answering in Greek. I dont speak Greek. Is it you speaking in Greek? Maybe you should answer in French or English or a more widely spoken language like Latin or Esperanto.
Lord Henry needs to know how long the runway is. I have suggested he replace the metal nose on the Concorde with a rubber one so it wont get bent. But he insists it is too dangerous to risk bumping the nose at all.
Give my regards to your mother.
Regards,
Professor Billy Rubin
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Thursday, 25 March 2004 5:54:57 AM
Dear Prof Billy,
Please confirm your phone number for me (61-3-5554 6319) because and please I will like to have your mobile number if any.
Thanks as I wait to hear from you.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
DAME EDNA
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From Dame Edna Everage to James Kabila Hello there my shy little possum! Ive heard that you want to be the father of my babies. Im so excited!! Dont tell Lord Henry, but Ive stowed away on his Concorde. That means Ill be meeting you in person on Friday. I dont want to rush you, but when we get married, do you prefer pink or a milder shade of purple for the wedding outfits? And what about the flowers in the church? Ive attached a photo of me from a few years back. Ill see you soon. All my love xxx, Edna |
 [For the record, Dame Edna is a drag queen played by Mr Barry Humphries, who is, of course, male] |
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
26th March, 2004Dear Mr Kabila,
Lord Henry has just told me he has taken off from the USA and will be arriving at Athens airport at 9:18pm. He is expecting you to be meeting him.
While he is flying I cannot contact him but I expect he will contact me when he lands.
I still dont know what is wrong with the phones, but email seems to be working just fine.
I look forward to a smooth business transaction.
Best of luck.
Prof Billy Rubin
26tth March 2004
LORD HENRY
From the expensive office of Lord Henry Thompson Fotheringham-Smythe Esq CMG GCMG BSC SSCField Operations
The Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals
Dear Mr Kabila,
I am writing this note from the airport our plane is about to take off. I wont be able to send messages while we are in the air, so I expect the next time we talk will be face to face at Athens airport. I very much look forward to meeting.
I hope you have been able to arrange a limousine.
I brought some money in case any unexpected expenses come up.
Sincerely
Lord Henry
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Thursday, 25 March 2004 12:11:44 PM
Dear Dame Edna,
How are you? Hope fine. You look pretty in the picture and I am just imaging how beautiful you will be when you are young. Please I will be happy to meet you when the transaction is concluded and I am not in a hurry to be a father or have babies now until am settled.
Thanks as I hope to meet you soon.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
JAMES MOBI KABILA
From : james kabila <jamkabila2001@europe.com>Sent : Thursday, 25 March 2004 12:58:25 PM
Dear Lord Henry,
I am in receipt of your mail. Actually I do not know the length of the runway but I will assure you that it is okay because Greece is hosting Olympic Games by August. As to ask them or measuring the runway will bring all eyes on me as regards to this terroist activities. They might think that I am planning some evils.
Thanks as I wait for your call.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila
JAMES MOBI KABILA
Sent : Thursday, 25 March 2004 11:36:28 PMDear Prof. Billy,
I am in receipt of your mail. Please call me immediately may it is the operator that is answering you. I don't speak greek, I only speak english and my native language. Kindly ask Lord Henry to replace the metal nose with the rubber one but I beleive that the nose will never got bump. You know that they will be hosting Olympic Games around August so their Airport run way is okay.
Thanks as I wait for your immediate call and please confirm your number to me.
Regards,
James.M.Kabila.
NB: Dame Edna send me mail and I have replied her. Please inform her that I am not ready to have babies now.
[Q - What is a lads worst nightmare? A another lad stealing their mugu. So lets arrange for that to happen ]
MUGU STEALER
FROM MR MUGU STEALERHA HA HA I HAVE GOT INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER AND READ YOUR EMAILS.
I AM GOING TO STEAL YOUR MUGU LORD HENRY WHEN HE GETS TO THE AIRPORT!!!
I AM GOING TO TAKE ALL HIS MONEY!!
I AM THE MUGU STEALER!!!
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
27th March, 2004Dear Mr Kabila,
Lord Henry and Dame Edna arrived safely at the airport, and they have been most impressed with you. Lord Henry tells me that you met him at the airport with a black stretch limousine and took him to the security company where he says he has seen the money. He has been most impressed by the choice of hotel that you have provided and said it was a very nice touch making available the unmarried lady.
Lord Henry says that he has had to pay some consignment release fees and some legal documentation processing fees. He says they have only come to a few thousand dollars so I see no problems there.
He expects to have your money safely out of the country very soon.
It is a great pleasure doing business with someone as professional as yourself.
Best Regards
Prof Billy Rubin
MUGU STEALER
FROM THE MUGU STEALERHA HA MR KABILA
I MET YOUR MUGU AND HIS LADY FRIEND AT THE AIRPORT AND GAVE THEM RIDE IN NICE CAR.
THEN I SHOW THEM LOTS OF MONEY. IT IS ALL FAKE MONEY BUT THEY DONT KNOW!!!
THEN I PUT THEM IN HOTEL AND GIVE THEM CHEAP PROSTITUTE.
THEN I CHARGE THEM FEES. I HAVE ALREADY MADE OVER $3000US.
HA HA. THANKYOU FOR SENDING ME SUCH GOOD MUGUS.
DO YOU WANT THEM BACK??
WELL YOU CANT HAVE THEM UNTIL I HAVE TAKEN ALL THEIR MONEY THEN YOU CAN HAVE THEM.
I AM THE GREAT MUGU STEALER
PROF. BILLY RUBIN
From Professor Billy Rubin29th March, 2004
Dear Mr Kabila,
I am most concerned for Lord Henry. I havent heard from him for several days. He sent a message saying he was going back to the security company, and we havent heard from him since.
Do you know where he is?
Kind regards
Professor Billy Rubin
To be continued?