ORGANS OF THE GODS

From a Kindly Contributor in Scandinavia:

Hello there! This stuff is quite hilarious, this is my first attempt to counter-scam the mugus. I include the whole correspondence this far. The text written in capital letters are my own comments, except for some letters from the lawyer WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT CAPS LOCK IS.

Cast: William Lighter, a 68-year-old Norwegian businessman who offers to help the poor Nigerian fellow transport the money. He speaks terrible English.

Joseph Otumba ("real name" Andrew Olatunde), the main Lad

Jonathan Williams, a "barrister" (couldn't be the same person as "Otumba"...)

[I got a typical letter in my real e-mail address asking for help in moving some sort of heritage out of country, I accidentally deleted the original message so I start with my response to the letter.]


WILLIAM LIGHTER (good guy)

Hello Otumba,

I got business proposal from you some time ago. I traveled in Brevia I couldn't access my e-mail anywhere. Thats why I contact you so late.

I am a Norwegian businessman, honest man. I am a faithful Christian and I am probably the trustworthy person you could find as your business partner. I'm praying you, do this business with me. I am 68 years of age and this my last chance to get rich. Sorry, my english is not good, but I sure am that you understand. Please respond soon as possible.

Gretings, William Lighter(leader of Rökad Hud Ltd.)

[NOTE: RÖKAD HUD IS SWEDISH MEANING SMOKED SKIN.]


JOSEPH OTUMBA

Dear william,
I received your mail and I wish to thank you immensely for your kind interest to co-operate with me on this transaction and your willingness to support and assist me in this transaction. Please, find hereunder the details of the transaction for better understanding. Actually this transaction is real, and one hundred percent risk free and does not relate to any breach of law or proceed from drugs. It is a matter of necessity to contact you for this transaction without further investigation about your person, as I view you to be a more responsible personality. It is therefore necessary that you tell me a little about yourself. I hope you would not betray me. As for Trust, it is a given thing that trust is earned, it is not given out lightly; however, because I need you in this transaction, I must give you my trust; it is worth 40% of this money... I believe that this will keep you from holding back to my own share of the money if thetransaction is completed.
Like I stated in my proposal, I will like you to provide your full names and address so that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall hire two separate attorneys.
The first attorney will process the WILL, which will name you as a close friend/beneficiary/sole executor of the Will. Once it is done I will send you a copy by fax for your records. The second attorney will file in the Federal High court with an appropriate affidavit in order to secure a letter of probate empowering you as the close friends/next of kin/Sole Beneficiary and Trustee/Sole Executor of the Estate of Mr. Michael Creek which includes the sum of US$20.2M lying in the account number which I shall give you. The essence of hiring two attorneys is to make sure that both attorneys will not have the details of this transaction and thereby prevent them from knowing that this is a deal.
Upon preparation of these documents and approvals from the Ministry of Justice, the letter of probate will be granted in your favour which will give you the authority to request for the transfer of this money to your account. We will then forward your particulars to our correspondence bank in Europe or America who will now transfer the money to your nominated account. All these processes will be accomplished within 10 working days and money will be transferred to your account immediately. The very good thing about this transaction is that it will done in a very proper andlegal manner.
I would like you to make available to me your private telephone and fax number so that we can discuss and I can also send you via fax a copy of my ID card and the certificate of the fixed deposit for your assurance that this is a genuine transaction and I want you totake it very seriously.
Please confirm your willingness by providing all the requested information above. All modalities for the successful completion of this transaction has been mapped out provided that you maintain absolute confidentiality and keep to my instructions I shall hand over to you from time to time for a successful completion. For security reasons, I have not disclosed my correct name and the correct name of the bank where I work and where this money is deposited. Once I clarify your willingness to proceed with the transaction, then I shall give you the name of the bank and as well send you the copy of the certificateof deposit and my ID card.
Please call me for further explanation on my telephone number: 234-80-33202936. you may send me a mail with further information about yourself before we proceed further.
joseph.

[YEAH, THE TYPICAL BULLSHIT. AND OF COURSE FROM A YAHOO ADDRESS.]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear Joseph,

Thank you for you contact me soon, I am very much greatful. Sorry again my bad english, I'm some old and I have not studyed languges much. I understand english, don't worry, i can read messages. You want me tell about myself, I try my best. My name is William Lighter, I live at Norway city name Grossearsch. Two child have but they adults and have families own. A little lonly man I. I am almost 70 years age, I still am leader of the family company. Its name is Rškad Hud ltd., I told you in prevous message I think. I am not very rich man, company is stable but does not build millions. Some money I have in bank not millions. I want to help you getting money becuse I too want money. I am Cristian believe in God, walk to chruch at Sundays. Persons can trust me, I am not betray human. You not need to worry, this busines in good hands of mine is.

You wrote phone number, I am much sorry tell you that my ears not work very well, they are old man ears. I like use this mailing thing to communication you. Hope you not mind this problem. I wait your cerificate and id. Please soon as you can.

William Lighter [NOTE: GROSSEARSCH, THE PLACE WILLIAM LIVES IN, IS GERMAN MEANING SOMETHING LIKE "BIG ASS".]


JOSEPH OTUMBA

Dear williams,

thank you for your urgent reply,i am a born again christian too over here,please williams i will like to see your i.d card too so that when i come to the norway i will know you personally.i will send you the certificate of deposit and my id soonest,but please send me your i.d too.I now trust you 100%,please do not let me down,please reply soonest.i will also want you to send me your full name and home address which i will forward to the attorney to process the will certificate of michael creek in your name that is the next of kin/beneficiary/sole executor of creek's estate and the letter of probate that will authorise payment into your account.
Dear williams,please i will like you to contact the attorney his email address is jonathanwilliams@justice.com .Tell him you want his assistance in drafting the will certificate of your close friends estate as the next of kin of his $20.2m usd.please reply soonest.

yours truly
joseph

[NOTE: THE ATTORNEY COMES IN THIS EARLY, THEY OBVIOUSLY THINK IT'S EASY TO TRICK AN OLD MAN LIKE WILLIAM. I DECIDED TO SEND HIM A COPY OF "MY DRIVER'S LICENCE".]

WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear Joseph,

Busines going fast I like! You trust me 100%, I trust you 110%! I prove it attaching copy of my driver lisense. I try scan it as good as possible. I will contakt your lawyer this day also. I give you adress and full name: Adress is: Torskepippel 12C 32 post code: 17425 Grossearsch Norway. Full name is William Lighter, only have one front name! You come to Norway is nice hear, we have some fun in the Grossearsch city, the houses and all here is brown. You like Grossearsch! I think you will my friend become and I think you a good businesman, you do all so fast! You a good Cristian and good man. God bles you and family also if you have. Tell me about you too. I will stop this lettre now and write lawyer.

Yors truly friend, William Lighter



[Scam-o-mutilated to protect identity of whoever that is...]

[NOTE: NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT THE ADDRESS IS MADE UP... THE LAD REALLY BELIEVED IT WAS REAL, WHAT AN ASSHOLE! WELL, TIME TO WRITE THE LAWYER...]

WILLIAM LIGHTER

Hello mr.lawyer,

This William Lighter from Grossearsch, Norway. I want your assitance in drafing will certifikate of close friends estate as next of kin of his 20,2 Million $. Sorry bad english I talk. Contact soon as possibel. Me contacted Joseph he will pass you adress and full name.

Yours, William Lighter


JOSEPH OTUMBA (ANDREW OLATUNDE)

Dear williams,

For trust and security reasons i decided to open up to you as my real name is MR OLATUNDE ANDREW AND I AM THE MANAGER OF FIRST BANK PLC.I also have below the certificate of deposit and my i.d card and passport all these i sent to you for trust i have for you.please i will like you to still continue to contact me with this email address but you now know my real name and all you need please reply if you need anything else,but do not forget to send me your own too for trust and security purposes.

yours truly
olatunde andrew

[NOTE: HE ATTACHED SOME OF THE REGULAR SHIT CERTIFICATES AND PASSPORT COPIES. THEY ARE NOT WORTH PUBLISHING...SEEMED LIKE HE DIDN'T GET THE COPY OF WILLIAM'S DRIVER'S LICENSE SO WILLIAM STARTED TO WORRY...]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear Olatunde,

Good I know your real name. You respod fast, I like it. You ask me send you my own I do understand not. Last mesage I attached copy of drivers lisense. Lisense is only id I have, no pasport have I not traveled for years.
Thank you you send documents, I know your honest. I trust you, you trust me? In name of God I am honest not betray. You know many about me. Please I don't have pasport. Busines is confidental, do not worry. We do this togeter. I wrote the lawyer alredy.

Yours, William Lighter


ANDREW OLATUNDE

Dear lighter,

I have received a copy of your driver's license i now trust you so i know you have contacted the attorney please let me know what he says.Let me tell you more about myself.I am a man of 51 yrs old and i am a christian and have the fear of God and i have four children and one grand son,but for the past 15 years now i have been the provincial manager of first bank of nigeria.But for the past eight months now we have not been paid salaries only God that is surviving me,so thank God i have someone to trust now and rely on that is you.please i would have loved to talk to you but you said you have ear problem but i will still like you to send me your phone number even if you can't hear me well just for emergencies.But i will resign as soon as the $20.2 m usd gets into your account in norway,i and my family will come down to norway soonest.
please reply

yours truly
olatunde andrew

[NOTE: THIS LAD IS READY TO MOVE TO NORWAY WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THE COUNTRY. IN MY DRIVER'S LICENSE IT SAID "REPUBLIC OF NORWAY" ALTHOUGH NORWAY IS A KINGDOM... THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY TO CHECK FROM THE WEB. LADS ARE NOT BLESSED WITH INTELLIGENCE, AT LEAST NOT THIS ONE...]


JONATHAN WILLIAMS

ATTN : WILLIAM LIGHTER,

I HAVE SEEN YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS BY TOMORROW I WILL MAKE SURE I START THE DRAFTING OF THE WILL CERTIFICATE IN YOUR NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY/CLOSE FRIEND OF MICHAEL CREEK $20.2 M USD.BUT I WILL DO THIS WITH $6,700 USD AS PROCESSING FEE BECAUSE ALL DOCUMENTATIONS WILL BE DONE LEGALLY IN YOUR NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN.PLEASE WILLIAMS I WILL ADVISE TO SEND THIS FEE TOMORROW TO ME VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER,PLEASE REPLY SO THAT I WILL GIVE YOU THE NAME IN WHICH YOU SHOULD SEND THE MONEY TO.BECAUSE ONCE I GET THE F$6700 USD TOMORROW IT WILL TAKE ME JUST TWO TO THREE DAYS FOR ME TO DO THIS IN THE HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE.EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE SOONEST.

REGARDS
BARRISTER JONATHAN WILLIAMS

[NOTE: THAT WAS QUICK, THEY GET RIGHT INTO BUSINESS! 6700$, MY ASS...ANYWAY, I DECIDED TO PLAY AN IDIOT AND NOT QUESTION THIS MATTER...]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear barister,

Thank you for mesage. 6700$ is big money, i try get it tomorow. I must ask my friend help me cover this money. I do my best if you give name to me. Thank you sir you very co-oprative. Please respond soon possible.

William Lighter


JONATHAN WILLIAMS

ATTN:WILLIAM LIGHTER,

YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TO;

NAME : JOSEPH EJONOMEHI

ADDRESS :NO 6 BODE CLOSE,EHITHI THOMSON STREET,LAGOS

YOU WILL NOW SEND ME THE MTCN NUMBER WHICH IS TEN DIGIT NUMBER

AND THE TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER.

REGARDS,

BARRISTER JONATHAN WILLIAMS

[NOTE: AT THIS POINT WILLIAM IS A BIT CONFUSED AND HE DECIDES TO ASK ANDREW OLATUNDE FOR SOME EXPLANATIONS.]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear Olatunde,

I got mesage from lawyer barister. He say I send him 6700$ tomorrow, procesing fee. Can you tell me what is Western Unon? He say I send money via that. I not know what it is.

I have a few money in bank, 13.534 Norwegian skits that about 4000$ is. You a bank manager, you have a bit money, can you help in this fee? And what Western Unon, tell me. Confused I am, tell me what I do.

It nice you tell me about you. You move to Norway, do I understand right? You go to Grossearsch, that a place for you is. I wait to meet and know you.

I give you phone number but you not call me, I hear not good, only emergancy. Number is 63-263-154376. Phone line in Norway not very good, hope there are no emergancy. Friend you I trust, me rich become and you also! God bless you your childs and grandson. Respod soon you can.

Yours, William Lighter

[NOTE: THE CURRENCY OF NORWAY IS REALLY NORWEGIAN CROWN, SKIT MEANS SHIT IN SWEDISH!]


ANDREW OLATUNDE

Dear william,

It is western union and not western unon it is a place or center it can be anywhere,where you can send money to any part of the world and that same day the person you are sending it to will receive it.it can be at the airport or rail station or even your street it can be any where,you can look for it tomorrow.Dear lighter,you know i told you that we have not received for a period of time now,i only have about $1000 usd on my bank account which i was supposed to use to feed,please lighter i trust in you if you can help us with this $6700 usd i promise i will reward you wehen i come to norway and God will also make both of us to smile soonest.
please i will wait for your reply it is about 8:30 here.

yours truly
olatunde andrew


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear Olatunde,

I looked information of Western Union and I find out one is in Oslo. Oslo the Norway capital is, it is two hour drive from Grossearsch. 6700$ is much but I get out it from my son tomorow morning. I not tell my son this busines. Barister gived me name with that I will send money tomorow. I drive my car in Oslo and tell you soon I get back. God give me chage be rich I do not waste it. I not betray you for anything, I see you at Norway soon we this busines finish. Lonely man am I glad have a frend.

Yours, William Lighter

[NOTE: EVERYTHING IS FINE AGAIN, I DECIDED TO "CO-OPERATE" WITH THE MUGUS AND MAKE THEM GO TO THE WESTERN UNION AND MAKE FOOLS OF THEMSELVES.]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear Olatunde,

I wake up erly morning, my son gived me money and I sent it to barister. I now send barister number and secret queston. Soon rich we be! God bless.

Yours, William Lighter

[NOTE: SO I "SENT" THE MONEY. TIME TO TELL THE BARRISTER THE GOOD NEWS.]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

dear lawyer barister,

I send you money, mtcn number is 1741939872. Test queston is "Where I live?" the anwer is "In Grossarsch". Mesage send me when you get that money.

William Lighter

[NOTE: MADE THE NUMBER AND QUESTION UP... AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...]


JONATHAN WILLIAMS

ATTN :LIGHTER,

MY PERSONALASSISTANCE WENT TO THE WESTERNUNION HERE AND THEY SAID THE MONEY IS NOT THERE,PLEASE CHECKTHE MTCN NUMBER AGAIN AND SEND TO ME.BECAUSE THEY SAID THAT THE MONEY IS NOT THERE,PLEASE SEND THE WESTERN UNION DETAILS AGAIN .
EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE
REGARDS
JONATHAN WILLIAMS

[NOTE:WHAT AN UNEXPECTED SURPRISE, THE MONEY WASN'T THERE... NOW WAS TIME TO GET REALLY HILARIOUS...]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear mr lawyer,

I contacted Western Union they said has been disfortunate insident. Money deliver car has robbed been near Torskikkel by Svubians.

Not worry, they say they insure all money delivers.
They say I tell you or asistant go there with this code 5637149666 and tell the deliver car is has been robbed by Svubians in Norway on area 51 close to Torskikkel tovn. Then money should you get.

Sorry this mes, I Svubians hate they are thieves. All is all rigt now tell asistant he take new number and tell about robbing. In Lagos office persons know now problem Svubians.

William Lighter

[NOTE: PAY ATTENTION TO THE LAST SIX DIGITS OF THE NEW "CODE"...]


I hope there is more to come! This lad is really fast, the whole correspondence has now lasted for three days only!

By the way, the addresses this lad uses are

jonathanwilliams@justice.com(the "barrister")

josotumba@yahoo.com


Subject: new messages from the mugus, REALLY funny!

Hi again,

As continuance to my last message I must send you the newest letters from "Barrister Jonathan Williams". He actually went to Western Union and told the people there that a "money deliver car" has been robbed in Norway at Area 51 near the Torskikkel town! What an idiot, probably the stupidest scam artist on this planet! By the way, Torskikkel could be translated into English as Thor's Dick. Thor is an ancient god of the Vikings...

Anyway, here are the new messages:


JONATHAN WILLIAMS

ATTN :WILLIAM

MY ASSISTANCE WENT TO THE WESTERN UNION AND THE MONEY IS NOT THERE,PLEASE RESPOND

BARRISTER JONATHAN

AND HE WROTE AGAIN:

ATTN:WILLIAM

I TOLD THEM EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ROBBERS BUR THE SAID THE NEW CODE YOU GAVE ME IS NOT THERE THAT IS NO MATCH FOUND.I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE.

REGARDS

BARRISTER JONATHAN

[NOTE: INTERESTING THING HERE IS THAT IN THE FIRST MESSAGE HE SAID THAT HIS "ASSISTANCE" WENT TO WESTERN UNION. IN THIS MESSAGE, HOWEVER, HE ACCIDENTALLY SLIPS OUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS THERE HIMSELF! THIS MESSAGE IS THE BEST, HE REALLY TOLD SOME OFFICIAL THE STORY ABOUT THE SVUBIAN CRIMINALS WHO ROBBED THE CAR...]

AND ONE MORE:


JONATHAN WILLIAMS

ATTN:WILLIAM

PLEASE TRY TO CALL THE WESTERN UNION BECAUSE THE MONEY WAS NOT FOUND THERE WITH THE CODE YOU GAVE ME. EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE.

BARRISTER JONATHAN WILLIAMS

[WHY QUIT A GOOD GAME WHILE IT'S FUN, LET'S MAKE THEM RUN TO WESTERN UNION AGAIN...]


WILLIAM LIGHTER

Dear barister,

I sorry am a little misstake I made. Last six numbers is 419666, not 149666. Repeat correct last six numbers 149666. Sory mine mistake. I called Western union confirmed the number. Good you told about robbers, they must knew what you talk about. Go back give correct number and money are your. Sorry aggain me old man misstake.

William Lighter

[NOTE: LET'S SEE IF THEY REALIZE FROM THE SIX DIGITS THAT SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT...]


[I'm pretty sure that even more will come, this scammer seems like a total idiot. It's just getting hard to figure out new ways of making him waste his time...

Yours, The Kindly Contributor]

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