GLUTEUS MAXIMUS OVERDOSE

updated dec 16 the flip-off with a poem - updated again with the bit we missed!

Dr. Christopher Tennant, last seen in FULK YOU UNCLE CHRISTOPHER, turns to poetry to express his feelings.

Dear Scamoramans!

One day, Mr Johnson Ben decided to send a scam email to Potential Victim.
Potential Victim had an IQ over ten, however, so the ploy failed from the start.
And unfortunately for Mr Ben, Potential Victim passed the email over to Christopher Tennant.

As if by magic, a scambait appeared. The first email was passed onto me, and what developed was my favourite scambait Ive embarked upon.
For one thing, the persona I chose was the first one I ever used in a bait, but its never been this successful.
Special thanks to my friend for passing on the details.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent, and were never the real names of the guilty in the first place.

Dramatis Personae-

Dr Christopher Tennant -- Paediatrician at the Mantle Clinic. Lives for his childrens charity, and finds out that having sex with your boss's girlfriend will not endear you to him.
Mr Johnson Ben -- scammer, pretending to be an accountant at Standard Trust Bank. Will swallow anything Tennant tells him.
    johnson.ben@tiscali.fr
Abdul Rashid -- scam buddy, pretending to be a lawyer. Has a unique way of taking abuse from irate paediatricians.
    barr.abdulrashid.chamber@lawyer.com
Dr Al-Ahmed Danmagaji -- scam buddy, pretending to be Director of Foreign Operations. Likes to drastically change the spelling of his name.
    foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com, standard.trust.bank.plc@financier.com
Mrs Joy Unoaku -- scam buddy, pretending to be Danmagajis deputy. Proves that the bank needs to get more email addresses.
Paul Clement -- yet another scambuddy, pretending to be a diplomat working for the security company. Is wimpier than I am, which is saying something.
Frank Furt -- yet another scambuddy, this elusive and improbably-named official also works for the security company. Likes sending embedded graphics in his email. Neither writes in German or breaks out into sleazy songs, which is a pity.

And introducing-
The two guys supposed to pick up the Western Union payments. Not only do they miserably fail, Tennant has a shock for them.
Dr Innocent Victim unfortunately deceased. Used as a blatant dangling carrot for the scammers, who fall for it.

AND more additions to the cast -
Tony Adams - "Central Bank Nigeria"
Mrs Anna Lopez - "Santander Trust"

Game on.
JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2004 09:19:56 +0200
Subject: contact me asap.
From: johnson.ben@tiscali.fr
To: johnson.ben@tiscali.fr

(Ripe.net points to this having something to do with Amsterdam)

Dear Victim,
I am an Accountant with STANDARD TRUST BANK(STB),My name is Johnson Ben. A Banker, I am the personal Account Manager to Engr. A. Victim ,who used to work with Multi-National Oil Company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client OnApril 21, 1999, my client, his wife, and their three children wereinvolved in a Ghastly Motor Accident along Sagamu Expressway.All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of myclients extended Relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last nameover the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they Get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged,particularly the STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC. Where the deceased had an account Valued at about ($16 Million U.SDollars) has Issued me a notice to provide the next of kin. Or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working days.Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 5 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased with this they proceeds of this account valued at ($16 Million u s Dollars) can be paid to you and then you and me Can share the money. 60% to me and 40% to you.An attorney will be contracted to help us revalidated and notarize all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Best Regards. Johnson Ben. .

[scam-o-veterans will know this as the classic Dead Bank Customer letter - something really must be done about the potholes in the Sagamu Expressway]

My friend immediately passed the above onto me, and I got stuck into it right away. Im rather amused by my opening gambit- in effect its the dead bank customer reversed, as Im saying to scammers that theres this rich dead guy and Im aching to give them his money.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2004 16:35:37 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Your business proposal

Dear Mr Ben,

you recently sent an email to Dr Innocent Victim about an intriguing business proposition involving an inheritance. Being dead, I am afraid Dr Victim cannot take up your offer, but do not give up hope. I think I can see a way around this.

Dr Victim worked as my partner in the Mantle Clinic, Canada. When he died I was appointed executor of his estate, which is worth around $12 million (in Canadian dollars). The Mantle Clinic runs a small medical charity, and Dr Victim, who was on extremely bad terms with his relatives, insisted that the money all be invested in the charity. He told me emphatically to do whatever I could to raise even more money for it.

This is why I am contacting you. As Dr Victim's executor, I am confident that I can retrieve the money you wrote about, and with the 40% you are so kindly offering I could put that into the charity.

If that sounds favourable to you, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2004 15:01:14 +0200
Subject: SORRY FOR DELAY, PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP.

Dear Mr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your information over my recent mail sent to you about Late Dr. Innocent Victim which you are to stand as the next of kin to claim this fund as the rightful beneficiary has been received and the contents were noted.

Meanwhile, without any further delay you are required to sent to me your private telephone and fax numbers, your private address. This information will be used by our Attorney to prepare all the necessary documents on your name as the next of kin to the Deceased, this paper work will enabel the appropriate bodies in charge of this fund to give a go ahead order and approval paper to transfer this fund outside the Country.

Your urgent attention will be highly appreciated and also remember to include the above information this will enhaste to facilitate the transafer without any hitch.

Be rest assure that the business is 100% risk free to both parties, but you have to maintain the confidential and secrecy needed in this transaction for security reasons.

Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. You can also reach me on my on my telephone #: 23480-2317-4014.

Best regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2004 14:52:00 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you for your email. I am overjoyed that we can sort this out to our advantage. It is what Dr Victim would have wanted. His death came as a sudden blow to us. While he was walking to work about a month ago he was hit by a coach carrying forty nuns who were on their way to the airport. I should imagine they will now be saying masses for his soul in perpetuity, and I've been told that the nun who was driving has not yet left the confessional since she returned to their convent.

Let me explain a little more about the work we do at the Mantle Clinic. Based in Southampton, Canada, the clinic is run by two gynaecologists, Dr Beverley and Elliot Mantle. I am now the head paediatrician. We have a small medical charity, AnencephalicsRUs. Anencephalia, a dreadful condition which occurs at birth, affects 1 in every 10,000 children, and there is no known cure. With a combination of drugs and therapy, such children can lead happy and successful lives, but much suffering would be alleviated if we could cure it. We are attached to the Mantle Clinic, which specialises in childbirth. Both Dr Beverley and Dr Elliot Mantle are as dedicated to the cause as I am, and we welcome any donations we can receive.

The company address is Dr Christopher Tennant, AnencephalicsRUs, The Mantle Clinic, 838/2 Cronenberg Road, Southampton, Ontario, M5G 2J3, Canada. The fax number is +1 555-808-7302, but be warned that its often switched off. Its a bit old-fashioned nowadays, because we have email.

I cannot provide a phone number, since I am unfortunately deaf. I contracted a dreadful disease, Shatner-Klingon lymphasia, when I was younger and lost my hearing because of it. Do you have a text phone? We can communicate with that.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- I noticed that you addressed me as Mr Tennant. This is incorrect, and I would prefer it if you addressed me as Dr Tennant in future.

And whats an anencephalic? Anencephalics are people born without upper brains. They have lower brain functions, but absolutely nothing that resembles conscious thought, and are perpetual coma victims. Such children can survive a couple of years with good medical care, but obviously the good Dr Tennant is talking through his hat. There is a lot of mileage for jokes comparing the average intelligence of an anencephalic with that of the average scammer, but I shall resist

[ yes this is really sad and we are sure no disrespect is meant! note that the Lads could care less ]

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2004 19:54:03 +0200
Subject: Our attorney will be reaching you any moment from now..


Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,
I write to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was received this evening and the contents were well understood. I am vey sorry for the cirumstances that led to the death of Dr Victim and explanatory notes and I believe he will be in the bossom of almighty God. I have forwarded your contact details to our attorney who will be reaching you any moment from now with some paper work on the deceased and all the documents will bear your name as the next of kin. Any moment he reaches you always keep in touch for record purposes.

I equally sympathaise with you on your hearing defects and pray that God must have a way to close the effects. And again sorry for using Mr instead of Dr to your prefix all were just a topographical error.

I await your response.

My best regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004 15:32:46 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

the attorney still hasn't contacted me. I am a busy man, what with the fund raising and everything, and I am getting annoyed with the man's tardiness. My own lawyer, Mr Sukmiov, is much faster.

Please advise.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:16:56 +0200
Subject: everything is ok.

Dear Dr Christopher,

Thanks for your mail which I have just received this morning. You should note that the work is enormous because of the amount of money that is involved. The attorney is working assidiously to get those paper work (documents) perfectly in order to avoid any mistake. You know the perception of some officials over here because of the magnitude of the money involved you mustpay for every down documents you want to gather from the probate.

However, I am sure the attorney is going to gather those documents pretty soon. I am going to put a call to him right now to confirm to me when he is likely to send those documents to you as time is no longer in our favour.

I look forward to here from you soon.

My best regards,
Johnson.
ABDUL RASHID

From: "barr.abdul rashid" barr.abdulrashid.chamber@lawyer.com
Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 10:31:48 -0500
Subject: SEE ATTACHED DOCUMENT

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

See attached Affidavit Document as I have succeeded in getting it today, it is not easy at all but with the Help of the Almighty God I must get the remaining to enable us finalise this transaction within the shortest period of time.

Please confirm to me the receipt of this document.

Always keep in touch.

Yours sincerely,
Abdul A. Rashid (Esq).

The document is, as usual, poorly-forged tripe. There are two notable mistakes on it, and Tennant wastes no time in bringing them to the inept lawyers attention.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 22:34:08 +0100 (BST)
To: barr.abdulrashid.chamber@lawyer.com, johnson.ben@tiscali.fr

Dear Mr Rashid,

thank you for the document. It makes for fascinating reading. I had no idea that the legal process operated like this.

Unfortunately the document contains a couple of mistakes. First, I reside in Canada. Canada is not in the USA; it sits on top of it. The USA has no jurisdiction in Canada whatsoever, so it's a pretty large mistake for you to make. Any judge over here would demolish it like a bulldozer attacking a sandcastle; I must insist that the document is redrafted to reflect this.

Second, I am confused as to the wording. The document claims that I was Mr Victim's cousin. I am not. I am acting on behalf of the estate of the late Dr I Victim (late, as in the sense of 'we don't expect to see him until the Final Judgement comes'). Dr Victim was Mr Victim's cousin, not me. I am merely overseeing things. Since Dr Victim is inconsiderately died a few weeks ago, he cannot do it himself. Indeed, he cannot do anything except generate compost.

Please get back to me as soon as possible with the amended document. I look forward to seeing it.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 04:02:09 -0500
Subject: I WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for mail which you indicated the mistake on the Affidavit I sent to you yesterday which cost us so much before the appropriate bodies concerned could signed it. I will try my best because the mistake is not little.

I will make every effort to see that I correct the mistakes and send the correct one to you, I know it will be by next week.

Very sorry for that I will take care of that.

Yours sincerely,
Abdul Rashid (Esq).

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Tue, 17 Aug 2004 11:39:04 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: See the Attached Documents.

Hello Dr. Christopher Tennant,

The reason why I'm sending these documents to you is for your record because the bank may ask them from you so in case if the bank ask, try to forward same to the bank. these documents will enable the bank know that you are the real next of kin to the deceased

This will facilitate the payment.

Thanks.
Barrister Abdul Rashid.

Theres a new affidavit of next of kin, looking much nicer than the old one, a death certificate, a letter of administration saying that Im the beneficiary of Mr Victims estate and a newspaper clipping about Mr Victims death. It really has to be seen to be believed. The only amendments I have made are to make it darker (since it was practically invisible when I first got it) and Ive also blanked out Mr Victims name.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 17 Aug 2004 20:48:44 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Thank you for your work
To: barrister_abdulrashid@yahoo.com johnson.ben@tiscali.fr

Dear Mr Rashid,

thank you for the new documents. I appreciate the amount of work you've put into this venture. The newspaper article you've attached is a nice thing to include, verifying that the crash did indeed happen. And your office has improved the format of your affidavits, I notice. They are much more pleasant to read now.

However, the affidavit still contains a mistake. It claims that I was related to Mr Victim. As I have told you previously, Dr I Victim was Mr Victim's cousin. Will this matter?

I am afraid of any legal technicality killing this whole thing. Dr Victim was always most particular about legal matters. For example, whenever he operated, he included a 'caveat emptor' clause in the contract. Then when people claimed that he had accidentally wired their kidneys to their lungs, he was safe from accusations of medical malpractice. He had an unfortunate incident once that nearly got him struck off the medical register, and this haunted him for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, your geography is better now. Well done.

Also, the bank has not yet contacted me. When can I expect to hear from them?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- I have sent a copy of this email to my good friend Mr Johnson Ben, so he knows what is happening.

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

From: standard.trust.bank.plc@financier.com
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 08:22:39 -0500
Subject: PAYMENT UPDATE

FROM OFFICE OF THE:
DR. AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS
STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC (STB).
HEAD OFFICE STANDARD PLACE
PLOT 1662, OYIN JOLAYEMI STREET
VICTORIA ISLAND, LAGOS NIGERIA.
HOTLINE: 23480-5653-8428
(OR ) 23480-2317-4014
DIRECT FAX: 2341-7591-1155

ATTENTION: DR. CHRISTOPHER TENNANT,

I HAVE THE PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR ATTORNEY HAS BROUGHT APPLICATION OF CLAIM OF YOUR INHERITANCE FUND. WE ARE HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT ACTION WILL BE COMMENCED IMMEDIATELY FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR ENTITLEMENT TO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT AFTER OUR INVESTIGATION AND VERIFICATION OF YOUR INHERITANCE FILE OF NEXT OF KIN TO AVOID TRANSFERRING THIS FUND TO A WRONG PERSON.

I WILL APPRECIATE YOUR KIND CO-OPERATION TO WORK WITH US AS WE ARE FREE TO ATTEND TO YOU AT ALL TIME AS FAR AS THIS BANK IS CONCERNED. I WANT YOU TO CALL ME ON RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL VERY AN IMPORTANT DISCUSSION.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR. AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATION
STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC (STB).

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 17:28:20 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I've been contacted by the bank

Dear Mr Rashid and Mr Ben,

I've been contacted by the bank. Things are finally moving!

Dr Victim would have been most pleased. I must admit, I need this ray of sunshine in my life- for some reason Beverley Mantle, one of the doctors I work with, has been looking at me in a most unwelcome manner. I haven't told anyone about this business, of course, but I think he believes I've been seeing his girlfriend behind his back. His girlfriend is this actress who's doing a mini-series here.

As if I hadn't had her weeks before he met her. And given the standard of her performance, I'm happy for him to have her, I'll tell you that much. But ever since he found out about me and the last five receptionists, he's acted very strangely towards me.

What would you do in this situation?

I'll tell you more when I hear a reply from the bank.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant
CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 20:28:11 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Are you okay?

Dear Mr Rashid and Mr Ben,

I am concerned about not hearing anything from you. Is everything alright?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

Have I lost them? I hope not

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 20:35:28 +0100 (BST)
Subject: What are you playing at?
To: standard.trust.bank.plc@financier.com

Dear Dr Danmagaji,

I am very concerned over your silence about this business. Please tell me what I have to do to get my money or pass this matter onto one of your colleagues who is either more interested or more competent in helping me.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 21:57:56 +0200M
Subject: All is well.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I have been down with influenza for sometime now but am getting better. I hope you have being contacted by the attorney and all the paper work duly sent to you.

I will defy my sickness to see the attorney tomorrow, but you should let me know how far he has been with you on the business. Baring the defects I would have loved to speak with you on the phone.

Looking forawrd to hear from you soonest.

Regards,

Thanks to this email, I had a mental image of Mr Ben standing up tall and proud, shouting out Sickness! I defy you! and then walking purposefully towards the attorneys office

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 23:41:42 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

It is very good to hear from you again. The bank still hasn't replied. I have sent them a stiff email complaining about it. What is the world coming to when you can't trust anyone?

I am very sorry to hear that you have been ill. Influenza is always dreadful to go through. Last year I particpated in trials for a new drug manufactured by the Italian company Ferrero-Nutella. They thought they had found a way to treat the illness successfully. Unfortunately 30% of the test subjects developed severe acid burns in their colons, so it had to be discontinued. We medics must continue searching though, though it may bring abdominal discomfort to some. That is what medicine's all about.

I am grateful that in spite of your condition you will look into things. That's the spirit. Anacephalics'R'Us will have much to thank you for!

I would love to phone you. However, I am afraid of Beverley Mantle finding out about us. I cannot understand what has got into him. He is constantly - and I mean constantly - watching me in my office. I know for a fact he's been going through my confidential files. But nobody will believe me if I tell them.

Please, Mr Ben, what would you do? Should I confront him outright? Or would that make a touchy problem even worse?

I look forward to hearing from you, as always.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 10:35:36 +0200
Subject: I will see the attorney this morning.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I thank you for sympathising with me on my travails, wish the almighty God in his infinite mercy will definetly grant you your honest heart desires. I pray that you leave that your colleague alone because when blessings are about to come to someone devil uses tricks to obstruct it.

I will be seeing the attorney this morning and I believe he will attend to me very well despite his busy schedule. You know to acquire all these paper work in this part of the world is capital intensive so I urge you to remain calm as everything will be over sooner than expected. If not my illness I dont think we will still be on this stage of this transaction but all is well.

I expect to read again from you.

Best wishes,
Johnson Ben.

So the scammers dont want the waters muddied. But they arent in control of events. Things are about to turn nasty at the Mantle Clinic.

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 03:48:13 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: THERE IS NO PROBLEM

Dr Christopher Tennant,
Hope you are fine today?

There is no problem everthing is still in place today I will go the Bank to know what is happening that they have not contacted you till now.

I will let you know the out come of my inquiry let in the day but try to keep in touch.

Yours sincerely,

Abdul Rashid (Esq).

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

From: "alahmed danbako" <foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com>
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 08:24:28 -0700

ATTENTION: DR. CHRISTOPHER TENNANT,

I HAVE THE PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR APPLICATION OF CLAIM WHICH HAS BEEN SUBMITED TO THIS BANK BY YOUR ATTORNEY BARRISTER ABDUL ALI RASHID, HAS BEEN RECEIVED AND ACTION HAS BEEN COMMENCED FOR THE RELEASE AND TRANSFER OF YOUR ENTITLEMENT TO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT.

HAVING GONE THROUGH YOUR PAYMENT FILES I DISCOVERED SOME MISSING DOCUMENTS. I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR INHERITANCE FUND HAS NOT BEEN APPROVED FOR PAYMENT BECAUSE, HAVING GONE THROUGH YOUR PAYMENT FILE WE DISCOVERED THAT SOME VITAL DOCUMENTS WHICH ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUND TO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT ARE MISSING. IN THIS REGARDS WE THE ENTIRE BODIES IN CHARGE OF YOUR PAYMENT HAVE A ROUNDTABLE MEETING THIS MORNING AND THIS IS THE OUTCOME OF OUR MEETING.

YOU ARE TO PROVIDE US WITH THESE DOCUMENTS BELLOW TO ENABLE US REMIT YOUR INHERITANCE ENTITLEMENT TO YOU WITHOUT ANY HITCH.

1) CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT.
2) DEATH CERTIFICATE.
3) LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION.
4) AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM AS THE NEXT OF KIN.

THIS IS TO ASSURE US THAT YOU ARE THE REAL NEXT OF KIN (OWNER) OF THIS FUND. TO AVERT ANY MISS DIRECTION OF THIS FUND. I WILL APPRECIATE YOUR KIND CO-OPERATION TO WORK WITH US AS WE ARE FREE TO ATTEND TO YOU AT ALL TIME AS FAR AS THIS BANK IS CONCERNED.

ALSO YOU HAVE TO RECONFIRM TO US YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER, YOUR COMPANY'S NAME IF ANY.

YOU HAVE 48HOURS TO COMPLY TO THIS MESSAGE TO ENABLE US DO THE NEEDFUL.

YOUR URGENT ATTENTION IS HIGHLY NEEDED. AS SOON AS WE RECEIVE THE REQUIRED INFORMATION, ACTION WILL BE COMMENCED IMMEDIATELY TO REMIT THE SAID FUND TO YOU WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY.

DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME ON MY TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR MORE CLARIFICATION.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR. AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATION
STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC.

The above missive was sent twice. It just wouldnt be a scam without multiple emails, would it?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 19:52:14 +0100 (BST) Subject: Documents attached


Dear Mr Danmagaji,

thank you for your email. I recommend you give your IT department a good reprimand; they've given you an email address in which your name is spelt incorrectly. I think you should dock some of their pay.

You lost documents of mine, you say? That is very careless of you. I recommend finding out who was responsible and sacking him. This isn't not some child's saving account we are talking about here. Millions of dollars which could save lives are at stake. This money is needed for a medical charity, Mr Danmagaji. It must be recovered as soon as possible.

My address is Dr Christopher Tennant, AnencephalicsRUs, The Mantle Clinic, 838/2 Cronenberg Road, Southampton, Ontario, M5G 2J3, Canada. For various reasons, telephone communication is impossible, but email is a good substitute.

I am currently busy at work, and can only provide three of the four documents for which you ask. I shall send the fourth as soon as possible.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

Actually I didnt have the fourth, which was the certificate of deposit.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 20:02:37 +0100 (BST)
Subject: The bank has got back to me


Dear Mr Rashid and Mr Ben,

the bank has finally replied. I must thank you both for your efforts.

Unfortunately they want a certificate of deposit, which you never gave me, Mr Rashid. I've stalled them- I'm very good at stalling in these situations, but I need to send it within 48 hours. Please send it to me as soon as possible.

Mr Ben, thank you for your advice about Beverley. I have not said anything to him. However, I fear that events will escalate. Someone has broken into my medical cabinet, where I store all my dangerous drugs. Some particularly nasty specimens are now missing. In small doses, these drugs (such as Gollumfrodo) produce an addictive narcotic effect. It may be that a drug addict has broken into the Clinic. But in larger doses these drugs are highly poisonous, and neither Beverley nor Elliot Mantle will allow me to call the police.

I am sometimes glad that Dr Victim died when he did. He'd have been beating the Mantles with his leather belt if he knew what was happening. I am worried.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 13:06:38 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: I WILL BE RE-SENDING IT.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I did send the certificate of deposit but however, it may have not gotten to its destination,I will be sending it again tomrrow or next because I still have a copy in my chamber.

My Regards,
Abdul Rashid ( Esq).

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 22:03:45 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Rashid,
you say you did send it?
I can find nothing in my inbox. Strange. Perhaps I accidentally deleted it. Anyway, thank you for your understanding.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- Before I forget, I'd like to ask if you know any anacephalics over there in Africa. I am currently trying to build on the international reputation of my charity, and I already have contacts in the US, the UK, China, Germany and France, amongst others. But I haven't had any success in African countries.
JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004 20:17:03 +0200
Subject: How are you today?

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

How are you today?, I hope you are fine over there and equally trying to beat the psyclogical effects of your parterners intrusion into your personal matters. You just have to bear to stay thats what I have to say at this time.

I hope you have been contacted by both parties that is the attorney and the bank if so we are at the verge of realising the business. Always keep in touch.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004 22:16:36 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you for your email. Mr Rashid has not yet sent me the document I asked for. It is crucial that I have it so I can give it to the bank. Could you tell him to get his arse into gear? We have got to get it through to him that this is serious business. This is no time to stand around picking our noses.

I shall email him myself when I get the chance. I am currently working out administration for our annual Bellycrawler Race. This race always raises a lot of money for our charity (something like $200,000 last year) and it happens next week. It's always great fun, and I regularly run myself.

The drugs have not been recovered. I do not know what the Mantles are doing, but I've been hearing some rumours from the receptionist that they know what's going on. I daren't ask them outright. However, Beverley is looking much paler than usual. And his pupils shouldn't be dilating like that.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004 22:20:26 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Where is the document?

Dear Mr Rashid,

I must confess that I expected you to act a little more quickly than you have done. I can only hope that the bank are understanding; they wanted the certificate of deposit in 48 hours. You seem to have been daydreaming for that length of time.

This is no time to spend hours playing Minesweeper on your computer, man. Get the certificate to me as quickly as possible, please.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 19:26:37 +0200
Subject: How do feel you today?

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I want you to understand that this business is a deal considering the source of the money not all the officials are aware of this fund so please for security reasons, you should keep the business to yourself because at this time, I am not ready to loose my job . In this regard ,I will appreciate if you continue to keep this business top secret and very confidential and never take any documents to your bank until you are advice to do so.

You will be told on what mode your payment may be by next week as I am relaibly learnt from the bank.

Always keep in touch.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 18:51:33 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I am fine

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you for your email. Do not worry about secrecy; I will not breathe a word of this to anyone until everything has been completed. Dr Victim, who was a role model in many ways, held it as a matter of honour never to betray a secret. He was once involved with a patient whose husband demanded to know the details of her medical examination. This would, of course, have breached client confidentiality, so Dr Victim refused. The husband tied Dr Victim to a car seat and pushed the vehicle off a bridge into the local river. But as the car sank to its watery grave, Dr Victim stoically bore his martyrdom and didn't say a word. Fortunately there was an off-duty policeman walking his dog at the time who was able to rescue him. So resilient was Dr Victim that though he was suffering from hypothermia he was able to dislocate the husband's jaw with a swift right uppercut.

May I ask what you mean by payment? I haven't heard anything about payment- I presume you mean something like administration charges and wotnot. No problem, my dear fellow. I can use some money from what Dr Victim left in his will. After all, he wanted us to invest the money, and the return is gigantic.

I will contact you again once I have heard from the bank.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- I'd be very grateful if you could send me any information on anacephalics in Africa. I've been trying myself, but it's hard-going. I believe that the Caucasian races are more pre-disposed genetically to suffer from the condition, which explains why it appears to be some uncommon where you are.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 17:42:34 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Send me the document NOW

Dear Mr Rashid,

what are you doing? Are you on holiday? Cleaning fluff out of your navel? Having the world's longest coffee break? I am a tolerant man, Mr Rashid, but I will not stand this lackadaisical stupor of yours.

I have seen more life in four-day-old afterbirths. Now get the certificate to me AT ONCE. I have a stomach ache, I've spent the last half hour hearing my superiors engaged in a shouting match, and I am NOT in a good mood.

Yours,
Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 12:41:32 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: FIND ATTACHED DOCUMENT

Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Find attached certificate of deposit and forward same to the bank for more action.

Please confirm to me receipt of the document.

Looking forward to hearing from you soonest.

Yours sincerely,
Abdul Rashid (Esq).

The certificate even has a little photograph I presume of Mr Victim who so tragically died in that car crash. It is unsigned; I dont know if this was intentional or not, but the scammers will use it to their advantage, as we shall see.
Or at least try to. No prizes for guessing who wins this round of the contest.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 21:10:18 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Rashid,

halleujah. A response. At last. I will forward the information onto the bank immediately. I only hope they ignore the fact that we're missed their deadline. If not, you'll have some explaining to do.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 21:13:37 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I have everything now

Dear Mr Ben,

I've finally got the document I needed from that monumentally incompetent lawyer. He really needs to buck his ideas up. I will send it onto the bank.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- no change around here. Beverley's still as on edge as ever. I've had the most dreadful stomach ache today. I don't know what's caused it.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 21:40:38 +0100 (BST)
Subject: The final document

Dear Mr Danmagaji,

please find enclosed the certificate of deposit you asked for. I apologise that it comes to you so late- it was up in the attic, and we've been having problems with rats, so I wasn't very keen to go up there. Rats have very sharp teeth, and we still have rabies in Canada.

Please ignore the fact that the document isn't signed. The ink doesn't show up very well on my scanner.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 13:04:28 +0200
Subject: Wishing you well soon.

Dr Christopher Tennant,
Thanks for your mail and the acknowledgement of the document sent to you, it has clearly shown we are moving to the desired destination. You have to forward it immediately to the bank to start work on them so that before the weeks runs out we will be talking of the mode of transfer.

The attorneys incompetence arose out of handling many cases at the time, so he delagates so many to his surbordinates,I urge you to overlook that aspect and lets forge ahead. Again, i sympathise with you over the stomach ache and beleive you will be well soon.

My best wishes,
Johnson Ben.
AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

From: "alahmed danbako" <foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com>
Subject: THE SIGNED CERTIFICATE NEEDED
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 05:48:34 -0700

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

The Certificate of Deposit you sent to this Bank is not signed, therefore we urge you to send the real signed certificate of deposit to us as soon as possible. We will be waiting to hear from you now so that we can start processing the documents for onward transfer of the fund to you.

We look forward to hear from you soonest.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Joy Unoaku.

Yes, Mrs Unoaku. Using Dr Danmagajis or should that be Dr Danbakos? email address.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 16:19:38 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Re: THE SIGNED CERTIFICATE NEEDED
To: "alahmed danbako" foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com

Dear Mrs Unoaku,
why are you using Mr Danbako's email address? Are there not enough email addresses to go round at your bank?
I will try to use a better scanner as soon as possible.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- please tell the bank that it doesn't cost much to increase the size of their web domain. There are any number of companies that can do this very cheaply, and they usually bung in extra email addresses along with it. Just a thought.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 16:32:08 +0100 (BST)
Subject: You are extraordinarily careless

Dear Mr Rashid,

what the hell are you playing at, sending me an invalid cerificate? It needs signatures, otherwise it's about as much use as toilet paper. I tried to gloss over this when I sent it to the bank, but I fear they're seen through my cover story.

You have made me feel humiliated, Mr Rashid. You are undoubtedly the most foolish lawyer I have ever dealt with. I'd rather entrust my legal affairs to a three year old. Get me a signed certificate at once, do you hear? And don't screw up this time.

Dr Christopher Tennant
CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 16:46:38 +0100 (BST)
Subject: That moron has screwed things up

Dear Mr Ben,

Mr Rashid may be busy, but that does not excuse the chump from sending me a void document. The bank insist the document he gave me must have signatures attached- something he MUST have known.

Where did you find such a dribbling simpleton? And why must I be made to look so bad in front of the bank? Is this his idea of a joke?

For your own sake, Mr Ben, I advise you to get better legal partners next time. Otherwise you could contract the legal version of syphilis. Hard to get rid of, and quite likely to ruin you in future years. Just ask Dr Victim, he could tell you all about that. If he were still alive, that is.

I am feeling much better today. I think I felt ill yesterday because of the tea- I've been working so hard I forgot to take a tea break and I'm fine. It's given me an idea. I'll have to analyse it to see if there's anything in there that could be making me ill.

Yours,
Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 13:37:31 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: ABOUT THE SIGNED CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,
It is very important to note that the certificate of deposit was sent to you along with four other documents and undoubtedly you received four so it is not my fault rather yours because the message was confirmed sent. And be informed as a legal practioner I am very merticulous in handling important documents of such magnitude so I view that your statement as a sort of slight on my profession.

Meanwhile, I am aware that the document sent to you was not signed from the bank because the bank said the document has been released to us before and for that reason we must meet certain obligations according to banking policy and their rules and regulations governinig the establishment.

The reason why I did not want to make it known to you is because you are worried to send the copy to the Bank. But for the fact that it is a classified/certified document from the bank and been that the Bank had already given it out before which I forwarded to you at the first time and now returned to the bank, the Bank does not agree to give it out again until we are ready to pay a signing fee of US$455.00 to enable the authorities in charge of documentations sign for the release of the said document.

You send the money to me through western union money transfer on my secretary's name below to enable us meet up, very important.

Mr. Aduabukwu I. Mbah,
Address: 133 Okota Road
Isolo Lagos Nigeria

Text Question: Al-Ahmed Danmagaji
Answer: My Good Friend
Try to include the Control Number as well.

You have to expedite action in this matter as a matter of urgency to send this fee across to me so that I can go to the bank for the original Certificate of Deposit very important we need to conclude this matter as soon as possible so that the Bank will get this fund wired to you.

I hope myself explanatory is well understood by you and waiting to hear from you soonest.

Yours sincerely,
Abdul Rashid (Esq).

Of course, this doesnt make any sense whatsoever. Tennant is quick to point this out.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 22:40:07 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I am disappointed

Dear Mr Rashid,

let me take your points in order.

1) I did not receive the certificate of deposit. Would you like to come over and check my inbox? Why on Earth would I bother you for the certificate if I did have it?

2) Even if I had previously received it, it doesn't explain why you then send me one that is unsigned. Presumably as a precaution you kept a signed copy in your computer files, having saved the scanned version of the signed copy. Neither does it excuse your delay. Scanning a document does not take more than two days, whatever Beverley Mantle thinks.

3) The four documents I received from you included a newspaper article concerning Mr Victim's demise. Since I only got four attachments- count 'em, four- you could only have sent three of the four documents required.

4) Given this, any negative comments I've made about you are not a slight on your profession. Indeed, they are a compliment. I think your position is far too important to be filled by such an amateur.

5) When did I say I was worried to send anything to the bank? I need to send EVERYTHING to the bank, or I won't get Mr Victim's legacy.

6) The bank apparently gave you a Certificate of Deposit, yes? And you say you gave it back. And now the back wants to charge $455 for you to sneak a peek at it again.

This is just stupid. For two reasons-

first, no bank anywhere in any country would charge such a high amount. Banking would become impossibly expensive.

Second, since the bank already have it, why are they asking me to provide a copy of it? They don't need a copy. They've got one.

Which means that someone somewhere is lying about something. Either the bank is, or you are.

I'm sending this email to Mr Ben as well. Mr Ben, I appeal to you. What should I do? What do you think is going on? My charity really needs this money. But I don't want you or me to be out of pocket over this. Please send your response soon, my friend.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 06:26:29 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: REPLY TO MY UNDERSTANDING.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I am very pleased to read your mail which I noted you have deviated from your previous attack on my person because of some lapses. I can perceive you are looking for a way out from this log jam which the unsigned document has posed to this transaction which the fault is not largely mine.

However, from the contents of your mail I want to state categorically that the demand made by bank is normal since we are presenting you to act as the next of kin to the deceased. The bank wants to be very sure that there is existence of such a relative or administrator of such person's inheritance that's why is like the document has to be round trip. I want you to understand the situation and not to feel ill about the mix up so that we can settle this and move ahead to actualise this transaction within the shortest period of time. You know in a growing economy like ours banking is very expensive that's why some rural dwellers prefer to keep their money under their custody and with the relationship we have created you may be privileged to visit Africa after visiting you first for the sharing.

It is very imperative to note that no one is lying on this matter but a working procedure in this part of banking system which is not like yours. I took up my time to pursue this transaction leaving other clients in the hands of my partners working in my chambers.

I plead with you to forgive me any where I may have erred attributing everything to human error, as I assiduously worked for the best interest of this transaction to satisfy my client Mr. Ben who hired me to act on your behalf. The day I sent those documents to you I returned the certificate of deposit to the bank as a classified document with every hope you have received them as the system confirmed sent okay. The bank released the document to me based on my relationship with them and the agreement that I must return it to them, not knowing you have not received it so they are not totally happy over the development because they have to dig into their strong room to retrieve the documents again, for this reason there is an order that before such documents could be released again such a fee must be attached to get this done.

Your client Mr. Ben is aware of my dealings with the bank all this while so you can confirm from him. I urge you to help us in this matter so that we can send the signed document across to you without delay. I anticipate you will pay the money today so that we can complete this within early next week.

I hope you will understand the situation and act as required.

Yours Sincerely,

Abdul Rashid (Esq.).

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 16:49:54 +0200
Subject: Urgent attention pls.

Hello Dr Christopher Tennant,

How are you today?, hope you are better now.

I want to assure you that from onset of this business I have been aware of my attorney's doings as he has been briefing me on day to day. It is because of my link and connection in the bank that such classfied document was released to the attorney which he was told to return it immediately to the bank as you should understand that the bank is not aware that the document is been sent to you, only my attorney, yourself and I are aware of all these because if the bank happens to know it may not be released.

I still plead with you to tamper justice with mercy and lets forge ahead in this business. This kind of thing will never happen again as we must succeed by next week if all hands must be on deck.So I beg you to comply with bank instruction and lets forget the mistake as it has been done so that we can forge ahead.

Once again, I want you to do as bank instructed and get back to me as soon as possible.

My regards,

Johnson Ben.

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

From: "alahmed danbako" <foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com>
Subject: THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH THE EMAIL ADDRESS.
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 09:05:00 -0700

Attn: Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Be informed that Mrs Joy Unoaku is a deputy Director in Foreign Operations so he uses the same email as that of the Director of Foreign Operations as an official email within the department. All the officail information within the office goes out with the email address so she has access to it. It is not a private email but an officail email of the department so there is no problem to that.

We are still waiting for the endorsed certificate of deposit so that we can commence the transafer.

Yours faithfully,
Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 20:21:42 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Rashid,

your take on my email to you is rather idiosyncratic. However, there is no use exacerbating the situation, and I thank you for your email. I suppose it's best to sweep this all under the carpet, as otherwise everyone will get confused. After all, I'm confused by Rubix Cubes, so you can appreciate why I want to keep things simple.

I am emailing Mr Ben with a final question. Once this has been answered to my satisfaction I will get the payment to you.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- I don't believe you answered my question about anacephalics. Do you know any anacephalics in Africa?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 20:23:04 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

Stop. You're confusing me. If the bank thinks I don't have the document, why did they ask me to send it to them? This isn't making sense. Help me out here, my friend.

If I have to send the money, that's fine. The legacy that Dr Victim left was a large one, and the only consideration would be to receive my cut of the money before the books are checked by our accountants. But I would like this cleared up before I send anything. I am sure that if you were in my position you would be as cautious, so please do not offence at my request.

I have patched things up with Mr Rashid. I'm still not certain that he's entirely compos mentis, but I don't want to make things any more difficult than they already are.

I was right, by the way. The tea was found to contain traces of the drug gluteus maximus, which if taken in large doses irreparably damages the stomach lining, leading to excruciating pain and often death. Fortunately the dose I had was nowhere near the required amount to kill me, but I am more than suspicious now. Gluteus maximus was one of the drugs taken from my medical cabinet.

So tonight I am going to tamper a bit with our CCTV footage and break into Beverley Mantle's office. A drastic step, but one that must be done. I have to get to the bottom of this.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 20:28:15 +0100 (BST)
To: "alahmed danbako" foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com

Dear Mr Danmagaji,

oh. I had no idea that email banking systems in Africa were like that. Is it not inconvenient for you? Here's a tip- providing separate email addresses for your staff could increase productivity ten-fold. If everyone in the Mantle Clinic only used one email address we probably wouldn't even be able to make a cup of tea, let alone perform a hysterectomy.

I will soon be sending you the certificate of deposit. Or someone will, in any case, though I've been told you already have it. It's all very confusing. This is exactly what I mean about simplifying your banking procedures. You could go streets ahead of your competitors with a little attention to international practice.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 22:31:42 +0200

Subject: I appreciate your understanding.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

My good friend, I have really understood your concern about this thing which we have been debating for sometime now but still plead with you to wave that aspect and act so that we will stand in a good stead to have this transaction done immediately. You know the document in question is a classfied one, considering the magnitude of the fund involved the bank must do a thorough investigation to know exactly you are the real administrator of late Victim. It is their banking policy coupled with their rules and regulations that this fee need to be paid before another authenticated certificate of deposit could be released. If we go on and on in deabting this mistake we may be delaying the whole thing.

I am using my position to confirm to you that everything is still in place so I urge you to expedite action to send the fee to make sure by tomorrow the document will be sent to you by the attorney, to enable you forward same to the bank immediately for confirmation. On receipt of the document the bank has no any other option than to update you with the mode of transfering your entitlement fund to you without delay.

I solicit you to do that today so that by tomorrow the document will be sent to you to enable us finalise this transaction within the shortest possible. Be informed that they are many clients on the queue waiting for payment so we are making every efforts to make sure you are the first on the list to be paid.

I thank God for sparing your life and pray fervently that you will overcome the tricks of Beverley Mantle's antics. But I plead you should not have verbal conflict or crash with him using your most intuitive to follow him.

As soon as you make the payment try to send to me the payment details for my records.

My best regards,
Johnson Ben.

So Tennants life has been threatened and Mr Bens advice is to keep his trap shut. You wouldnt be harbouring any ulterior motive, would you Mr Ben?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2004 16:15:48 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you for your email. I appreciate the need not to delay anything, but I hope the brief halt has not been enough to completely upset the claim.

So. A payment must be made. Fine. However, I doubt I can make it today; I am simply too busy. There are too many ovaries to peer over for me to leave the clinic. In fact, I'm in quite a state. Please do not allow me to hold up other clients of the bank or Mr Rashid; they probably have enough trouble getting through to him as it is.

I broke into Beverley's office last night, as I told you. It wasn't five minutes before I found at least half the stolen drugs in his desk cabinet. Among them was gluteus maximus - and it had been used. I am no longer going to eat or drink anything in the clinic.

Do you think I should go to the police?

Yours,
Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

From: "alahmed danbako" <foreignoperations@mail2Banker.com>
Subject: TRY TO DO THE NEEDFUL
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2004 08:47:53 -0700

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Yes, we already have it but we want to confirm and be very sure that you are the real surviving administrator of late Victim's inheritance. It is the normal practice and as soon as you send it to us we will conclude your transfer.

Be informed that the bank will have no option other than to issue you our mode of transfer immmediately you comply with the payment of the fee as charged.

Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

So lets get this straight- they need me to provide the certificate to prove that I really am the administrator of late Victims inheritance. But they are quite prepared to hand it out to a lawyer who will pass it onto me so I can hand it back to them, requiring no further proof that I am who I say I am. I am less than impressed by this security system.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2004 13:01:24 +0200
Subject: It is nice again to hear from you.

Dear Dr.Christopher Tennant,

It is nice again to read from you as I have nearly completed all the ground work about this transfer pending your compliance on the bank request. I believe we must complete this process of transfer by next week if only you will be chanced to make the payment at least today or tomorrow so that by monday we will start the process.

Your action on Beverley is commendable but I still pray let it not generate to a physical combat where police has to come in. If you go ahead to call police there will be a great animousity between two of you unless if you are ready to leave Mantle clinic on the completion of this transaction. You should desist forthwith from tasting anything from that clinic except probably water if genuinely examined to have not been contaminated. I pray you to be very careful as life has no duplicate as one adage says.

Your immediate action will go a long way to quicken things at this end.
I appreciate your indept knowledge.

My regards,
Johnson Ben.

Part 2 to follow!
And here it is! PART 2!
ABDUL RASHID

Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2004 14:25:26 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: We are waiting to hear from you.

Dr Christopher ,
I quite sympathise with you over the problem you had with the tea you took which if you had taken it in large quantity is capable of ending some body's life.
I will write to you on anacephalics in Africa as soon as we get over this transaction.
I will prepare a good text for you on the subject immediately we round up this transaction.
Take it easy and get back as soon as possible.
Yours Sincerely,
Abdul Rashid (Esq.).

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 4 Sep 2004 11:57:10 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben and Mr Rashid,
thank you for your kind emails. I will not call in the police just yet, for various reasons. I do not want to admit to them that I've been snooping around Beverley's office, and strange at it may seem, I do not think I have enough evidence yet. Beverley is a very plausible man. If I accuse him outright, and he wins the battle, it'll make my position much more difficult than it already is.
Plus, if I leave the clinic I will have to leave Anacephalics'R'Us. I cannot afford to do this- this charity is my life's work. It would break my heart. We are having a lot of trouble with our internet connection at the moment; actually the problem seems to be affecting a large part of Southampton. So please do not be concerned if you do not hear from me for a couple of days- the Bellycrawler race is also on next week and I've been spending literally days sorting it out. I will contact you again the moment the problems are over.
Regards,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2004 12:20:00 +0200
Subject: Take it easy.

Hello Dr Christopher Tennant,

I thank you for your response and appreciate much on your dealings with Beverley so far, using the matured mind to follw him. I still pray it will not generate into real physical combat as the atmosphere as I can percieve from here is very dicey. Please do not allow this situation to get into you as not to affect your productivity as your job is very sensitive that involves life.

Moreover, I am still waiting for us to conclude this transaction this week as I have tidy my own side. The moment you send the money do contact me immediately for a follow-up in order to avoid unnecessary delays and mistakes. I urge you to do it urgently as we have no time on our side.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2004 02:20:37 -0700
From: alahmed danbako
Subject: WE ARE STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

Dr Christopher Tennant,

Hope you are fine today?

I just want to use this opportunity to inform you that we are still waiting to hear from you to enable us commence acttion Inheritance entitlement as soon as we hear from you action will be commenced.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Yours faithfully,
Dr. Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2004 16:14:41 +0100 (BST)

Dear Dr Danbako,
thank you very much for your email.

I'm afraid that life has been very busy over at this end. However, I should have more pleasant information for you on Monday.

Please bear with me on this. The Mantle Clinic has been in a state of upheaval over the last few days.

Yours,
Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2004 16:18:52 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

my dear friend, I suspect you have been disconcerted by my lack of contact with you recently. Unfortunately life over at my end has been- shall we say eventful?

I can't give you many details as yet, but this place is swarming with policemen. DO NOT WORRY- I am very good with computers, and there is no chance whatsoever that they will find out about you or Mr Victim's legacy. However, I cannot email you in detail until the policemen have left us alone; I expect this to happen on Monday.

In brief, I am glad to say that we will not need to worry about Beverley Mantle again. Unless he studied with Houdini, or becomes thin enough to squeeze through barred windows.

Regards,
Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Fri, 10 Sep 2004 09:30:28 -0700
Subject: Waiting to hear from you as promised.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail as I seriously sympathise with you over the trouble that erupted in your clinic and I pray that you will soon get over it. I hope by monday you will positively act as you promised so that we can come to conclusion on the final phase of this transaction.

As this is done on monday, endeavour to send to this office the payment details for our records.

I look forward to hear from you on the positive side.

Best regards,
Dr Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sat, 11 Sep 2004 22:36:20 +0200
Subject: It is well.

Dear Christopher Tennant,

I have been with you in spirit over this incident and know that police will virtually see nothing to implicate you or any body. Your partner have been over you but I know with my prayers here you will overcome and he will be made to confess atrocities he has been committing at your back without your knowledge. Just follow him as nothing is happening and you will see the marvellous work of God.
I know you have not forgotten where we stopped as I hope we will be able to settle this transaction by next week precisely. I seriously count on your cooperation.

looking forward to hear from you soonest.

Best wishes,
Johnson Ben.
CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 13 Sep 2004 09:56:01 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,
thank you for your very kind email.

You will not believe what happened last week. On Wednesday we had the 10 km Bellycrawler race. It was great fun, and everyone was enjoying themselves. the sun was bright, the birds were singing, a light breeze was wafting gently through the maple trees. The whole crowd was infused with a lightheartedness, a goodwill toward all mankind. Plus we were raising big bundles of cash for the charity, which was all to the good. Made you glad to be alive.

And suddenly disaster struck. I always run in the Race, and as I rounded a corner by Margaret Thatcher Terrace somebody threw large shards of broken glass into the street. I couldn't stop in time. I fell and cut myself very badly on the abdomen. I managed to stagger blindly back to the Mantle Clinic, which luckily was only a couple of streets away. I attended to my wounds and wondered who on Earth would do such a terrible thing.

I was being very quiet, and Beverley didn't notice me when he came in. He unbacked from the bag he was carrying the bottle necks from broken wine bottles! Oh Mr Ben, he was the one who had injured me!

I was terrified. If he found me, it would surely mean the end. Backing away and trying to hide, I accidentally knocked over some files in my office. Beverley heard the noise and came in to investigate- of course he saw me. He flew into the biggest rage I have seen in my life, swearing like a trooper and attacking me with his fists. However, that was a mistake. I am much stronger than him, and have trained heavily in martial arts. (You never know when it's going to come in handy- I have fought off more than one enraged husband when it came to the crunch) Even in my enfeebled state I was able to fend him off and he fled.

I was resolved to tolerate no more of this. The incident had been caught on our CCTV footage, and I contacted the police. If I didn't, it could result in worse than a few cuts and bruises. Inspector Doppler was around in a flash, and half an hour later they had arrested Beverley. The police then started searching the Clinic, which is why I could not make the WU payment then- I could not afford to let them find out anything about it. As a result of their investigations, the police arrested Elliot as well, as he has been shielding Beverley and been his accomplice all along.

This currently means that the Mantle Clinic doesn't have a Director, and I've been having a devil of a time keeping it out of the newspapers. Obviously, revealing that the highly respected Beverley Mantle is a psychotic paranoid would not do much good for our public image. We've all been working round the clock, but I think that at the end of three or four weeks we should be heading back to normal. I'm hoping to become Director of the Clinic myself, but the final choice is not up to me.

I will be making the WU payment today. I will contact the bank when I have done so.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 13 Sep 2004 10:04:11 +0100 (BST)
Subject: The police have gone

Dear Mr Danmagaji and Mr Rashid,

everything is now back to normal. I no longer have to fear that someone has put poison in the coffee machine.

From your past emails, I am confused about who exactly I have to send payment details to, so I'm sending it to both of you. No doubt one of you will be savy enough to pick it up without bother.

I have used the test question and answer I was requested to use by Mr Rashid. The control number is 6587943591.

Please bear in mind that I am still very busy at the moment, as several members of staff here have taken rather unexpected and quickly-enacted early retirement. But if there are any problems I will deal with them as soon as possible.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant
Acting Director of the Mantle Clinic

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Mon, 13 Sep 2004 06:42:18 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: CORRECTION PLEASE

Dr Christopher Tennant

Having gone through your mail I understand that the Police have gone from the Mantle Clinic and now the matter is control. Please continue to calm yourself.

Meanwhile, the information you sent to me this morning has been received and my secretary went to the bank with the control number and oher info as you indidact but could not confirm the money, the Bank Officials says that we should contact the sender so that forward the payment receipt to us. possible send along with the receipt.

Please do that very urgent to enable me submite the same to the Bank.

Looking forward to receive it soonest.

Best Wishes,
Abdul Rashid (Esq.).

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 13 Sep 2004 21:37:13 +0200
Subject: thanks for your mail.

Dear Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your kind mail. I wish I was there to share with you on that tasking moment which by the grace of God has gone for good. My assurance to you is that you have won the battle and pretty soon you will become the director of the clinic as every odds favoured your ascendency to that throne. Just relax your mind the angels are at work.

The attorney has reliably told me that you have sent the money but the secretary could not pick it up because they said it has not reflected in their records so I want you to meet your agents. You could forward the receipt and the name you used so that they can pick it up tomorrow and start action immediately as I have equally checked on net and could not trace the payment.

I thank you once again and hope you will check up to know what is causing the delay.

I look forward to hear from you soonest.

My kind regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2004 15:14:43 +0100 (BST)
To: johnson.ben@tiscali.fr, barrister_abdulrashid@yahoo.com
Subject: Technical glitch with the payment, I'm afraid.

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you for your email. I'm pretty hopeful about my chances of becoming director of the clinic. After all, I know how the system works, I have a raft of contacts that will be useful in my work, and there was only one time when I used a placenta in a practical joke. Most doctors have done far worse, and eventually the patient saw the funny side of it as well.

Dr Victim was very good at such things. The laughs we had over the years could bring tears to your eyes. Actually they sometimes did bring tears to the eyes of his patients, but you can't please everyone. Some people have no sense of humour.

The police are back for one last check of the offices, by the way. Hopefully they won't be long. Inspector Doppler is getting on my nerves with his exaggerated accent, his balding plate and his lack of manners. But I can't say anything to him- don't want to be arrested, after all.

I have just been to the Western Union office. It appears that there's been a glitch in their computer system, meaning that payments have been slow. Perhaps Mr Rashid's secretary went to collect the payment before it had arrived? I've been told that the payment should be there by now. The details are the same, and it was sent by Christopher Tennant. I did it personally.

Regards,
Dr Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2004 11:44:41 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Please act very urgently.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail and the cooperation you have so far shown towards the early conclusion of this business. I appreciate all your efforts and look ahead for quick conclusion of this transaction.

I hope the police might have gone by now and I believe they have not discovered anything which you may be hiding.

I sent my secretary to go and pick the money after I have read your mail but he could still not succeed as the bank is saying it has not reflected in their systems, so I want you to scan the payment receipt and send to me so that to enable my secretary can go to their agents here and conclude with them latest by tomorrow as advised by the Western Union Agents .

Yours Sincerely,
Abdul Rashid (Esq).

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2004 22:54:36 +0200
Subject: Urgent.

Dear Christopher Tennant,

I will continue to thank you until we meet in person to toast on our success. Your partner never knew I am here praying very hard for him to make an open confession on his atrocities towards you as he has never wished you any good but your ability is greater than his. There is no cause for alarm as angels are backing you up in your quest to see that there is equity in the profession in which you have chosen.The police will never see anything in you even if they like let they come hundred times, this is my word.

The attorney has just contacted me and informed me that his secretary has not succeded in getting the money from the western union agents as it has not been reflected in their system that's why I go further to check it myself on their site and there is nothing yet on that. I want you to send the payment receipt as our attorney has said the bank demanded that so that it could be traced where the mistake may be coming from.

I know you will help me to act so that we can get this transfer done as soon as possible.

I wait for your immediate action.

My best regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 15 Sep 2004 15:12:59 +0100 (BST)
To: johnson.ben@tiscali.fr, barrister_abdulrashid@yahoo.com
Subject: Mr Mbah is a criminal!

Dear Mr Ben,

Something very disturbing has happened. In Canada our Western Union offices are very strictly regulated, and recently they put in new procedures for their computer systems. This, it seems, was one reason why the payments took so long to process- they had not fully completed their system update.

One of the measures that the Canadian government has insisted on is found in the Monetary Transactions Act 2003, which will come into force at the end of this year. It requires all such companies such as Western Union to put in place new security procedures and work hand in hand with the Canadian police and security services.

The new computer system is designed to block any payments which are made to individuals suspected to be involved in criminal activities. The security services have been working worldwide with organisations like MI5, the SIS and the FBI to compile a list of such individuals.

I was contacted earlier today by David Cronenberg, the manager of the Western Union office where I made the payment. He told me that my payment has been blocked because they suspect Mr Mbah, who was supposed to receive the payment, is a 419 advance fee fraudster!

I had never heard of such things. Mr Cronenberg told me how it worked- that the victim was induced to hand over large sums of money to the criminal in the hope that a bigger financial windfall would come his way. But suddenly the fraudster would disappear, leaving the poor victim with nothing but an empty bank account.

Mr Ben, what is happening? You have proved that there was a Mr Victim who died, and that he did leave money- I have the certificates proving it. But why would Mr Rashid employ somebody who would surely be arrested if he ever set foot in Canada? Is he also a criminal? Should we inform the bank? Is Mr Rashid intending to take our money?

This is a severe blow to me, and indeed to Anacephalics'R'Us. We need Mr Victim's money for valuable research. Please tell me what is going on.

I am distressed. I shall spend the evening relaxing with a couple of our nurses to take my mind off things. I've always found them very good at relieving stress through intensive massage and other treatments.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

This is the first time I have used this tactic, primarily as a way of getting the scammers to keep on believing me while making them worry that the police are onto them. I have to confess that I did not create the tactic - the credit deservedly goes elsewhere, to 'Gilbert Murray' - but I have tweaked it for my own nefarious purposes.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 15 Sep 2004 20:29:54 +0200
Subject: Mr Mbah is not a criminal.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

It is quite sad to note that this individuals that are good for nothing could stand as spoilers at the end of this transcation. I want to assure you that there is no cause for alarm, that the attorney employed to render this services is very notable and specialises in wills and trust despite the initial mistakes. And Mr Mbah has no criminal records and serves dutifully as a secretary to our attorney. I have served the bank for the past twenty three years and had one of the best records that has never been equalled so I think I stand in a very good stead to tell you the truth and what is happening in my establishment so I urge you to discard this statement from this uniformed people.

In addition we have sent to you all original documents relating to Mr victim's death including the punch publication that actually showed that he really died in that circumstance so I see no reason why you should cast any doubt despite the relationship we have just created. We stand to gain in this transaction to enable you continue your charity work to humanity.

The late Victim left a substantial amount for you as an administrator which is left for you to claim to continue where he stopped before his death so nothing will make you not to have this money latest by friday, even the bank here is worried to move this fund to you if you can go now to make the payment using the same receivers name (particulars) to any agents of MONEYGRAM nearest to you . I want you to do that today and leave the rest for me. You urgent action will be highly appreciated to enable us round up this transaction by friday.

I look forward with buoyed optimism that all we be well.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2004 12:13:55 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I still have absolute faith in you, but not in Mr Mbah

Dear Mr Ben,

you may have faith in Mr Rashid. But I must confess that the evidence against his secretary is pretty damning. Mr Cronenberg showed me some of it; apparently he is a known associate of a criminal organisation. These blackguards will steal from anyone, I was told- strangers, children, their own mothers.

Maybe Mr Mbah is respectable in everyday life. Maybe he only indulges in his immoral, backhanded, illegal and disgusting habits at the weekend. But I will not transfer money to him, and Mr Rashid had better watch his step. One infraction on his part and I shall give my full cooperation with the authorities. Please warn him of this.

Under the circumstances, I am not prepared to use another method to give money to Mr Mbah. The evidence is too conclusive. Please find an alternative person, another secretary, or I'd even have more faith in your bank's tea lady to pick up the money and use it honestly.

I'd also suggest that Mr Rashid fire Mr Mbah. After all, odds are that he embezzles from the office anyway. He might be to blame for all the hoo-hah we've been going through because of this document. Actually, I don't suppose it matters; Mr Cronenberg told me that the authorities were very close to arresting him. Then Mr Rashid can sack him without difficulty. What are employment rights like in Nigeria?

If you want to reassure me, you can get Mr Rashid to fire Mr Mbah. Then I'll know that he is taking proper steps to protect the money. I will not feel comfortable until this is done.

I would like to say here that I still have faith in you. There hasn't been a word that you are involved in this, and you sound just as surprised as I was. However, do not let your charming but misguided innocence and rosy view of the world deceive you. Such a large sum of money is bound to attract vicious parasites.

By the way, what precisely is Moneygram? I have only used Western Union before. I shall have to see if it has a website.

The ball is in your court, Mr Ben. I want this to succeed just as much as you. But I have to protect myself, as I'm sure you will agree.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- the police have now left. And I'm feeling much better after seeing the nurses last night, although I now have to order more surgical tubing to replace what we used.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2004 16:15:24 +0200
Subject: I appreciate your efforts.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail and the time you have taken to give some insight on what Mr Mbah stand for, I have expressely asked our attorney to dispense with his services or his sevices with us terminated forthwith. I will always abide by your advice for the success of this transaction.

I heard all what you said and am not going to use Mr Mbah, I will instruct my secretary to pick the money the moment you have paid it. At this time, I have to be very careful because all that gliters is not gold, your word has lend credence to certains things I may be oblvious of.

I am very happy that the police have left finally and they will never come back again, but you should never relax your own personal security because they may burst in any time, be vigilant at all times. My prayers to you is to assume the leadership of that clinic so that you can impart serious discipline on your followers not what Berverley is trying to make you people understand.

I hereby forward my secretary's particulars for the payment,

MR. HENRY CHIANUMBA CHIDI,

ADDRESS:
1 UNITY CRESENT
OJO IGBEDE ROAD SABO,
AJAMGBADI, LAGOS.

TEXT QUESTION: PAID.
ANSWER: MY ONLY ONE.

REMEMBER TO INCLUDE THE: CONTROL NUMBER.

I beleive you will do it today so that we can start work tomorrow on the last leg of the payment. The moneygram is like western union ask any reliable person, they will direct you,they have agents in filling stations, supermarket and private agents as we have it here or search their website and find any of their agents or location nearest to you.

Their Website: http://www.moneygram.com/

I look forward to an urgent action.

My best regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2004 10:03:18 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I will send the money this weekend

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you very much for your email. Moneygram sounds an ideal method of sending you money- I hope we will both profit from it. Thank you for agreeing to use your own secretary. I feel much safer.

I have been looking at the website, and unfortunately I cannot send the money at present; I was going to use their online service, but in order to do that you need to be an American resident. My nearest Moneygram branch is a little distance away, but I hope to send the money over the weekend.

By the way, I'm not sure we cleared up the situation about Mr Rashid. Are you certain he is okay? I'd do some security checks on him just to make sure. Do not feel bad about breaking into his car or ransacking his house to get incriminating documents- this is too important to indulge in ethical niceties. After all, we are doing this in part for literally thousands of poor, tormented children.

Anacephalics'R'Us will have a lot to thank you for in future, Mr Ben. We may even name the reception area after you as a token of our appreciation.

By the way, we have not yet received any suitable applications for the post of Clinic Director. I think I will get promoted to the post!

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2004 14:19:41 +0200
Subject: I wish you the best weekend.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks a lot on your efforts which I appreciated so much and hope our union will be inseparable. Your promotion is as sure as death as I have been praying over the ascendency since you first hinted me of it. The love you have for children will never go unnoticed and the heanvenly beings will reward your efforts and your name will be in the annals of history. I thank you in advance for proposing to use my name in one of the halls.

The issue of the attorney is what I have conducted series of investigations and still found him reliable to this point despite the mistake that occured at the begining. He has relieved Mr Mbah of his duties.

I will appreciate if you endeavour to do the payment as promised so that the first thing on monday morning action will commence in earnest.

I look forward for your necessary action.

My very best wishes,
Johnson Ben.

That sound you hear is of Mr Ben licking Tennant's boots. Most undignified, but what the hell if you can get money out of him, right?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:18:05 +0100 (BST)
Subject: What a weekend!

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you very much for your email. However, my weekend was turbulent beyond belief. We were hit by a massive storm on Friday night. The weathermen didn't think it would get so bad. Rivers burst their banks, trees were uprooted by the wind, whole areas of the city suffered blackouts, kittens were stuck up trees. I wouldn't have been surprised if I saw Noah's Ark sailing down the street. It was that bad.

Fortunately the centre of town, where the Mantle Clinic is, was not badly hit. I had to vacate my home (there was a risk of flooding) and I've spent the last night sleeping at the office. Fortunately, since we are a surgery, there was no lack of beds. And morphine. That was the only enjoyable part of the weekend.

Anyway, I rang up the town's Moneygram office to see if they were still operational. Bad news, I'm afraid- their computers are out of action. It should be fixed by the end of the week, but I've been thinking. Suppose I transfer the money directly from my bank account to yours? It's not as fast as Moneygram but it's cheaper, and I don't know when I'll be able to use Moneygram anyway.

I must dash. The recent weather crisis has caused problems particularly for heavily pregnant women; there's always a risk of premature births if the mother is under too much stress. Babies are falling out of women all over the place, and I have to make sure everyone's okay.

Yours,
Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 14:17:56 +0200
Subject: I really Sympathise with you.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your kind mail as I seriously sympathise with you over the incident that gulped the whole town during the weekend. I thank God there is no much life lost as I wondered why I have not heard from you. I thank God for sparing your life and some of your patients pray that those who lost their lives will have eternal bliss.

I am pleading that you spare little time to make the payment by going to any local agents of Western Union like Gas Stations, Supermarkets as it obtains here and not to the banks again. The bank here is becoming increasingly worried over the delay to get this money transferred to you. There is no need to go to the bank because of the experience but in private agents such things may not occur as I wish you do it as soon as you receive this mail as time is no longer on our side.

I will appreciate it very much if you can do it today why using the same information to enable us finalise this transaction this week knowing very well your busy schedule and the mishap.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

Mr Ben surpassed himself with this email. Not only did he send the same message twice, he sent it within the same email. He's obviously still having trouble with technology.

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 10:21:46 -0700

From: alahmed danbako
Subject: STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Till now we have not heard from you. What is happening? remember we have many customers to attend to so you need to do something and very urgent.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Yours faithfully,
Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 02:27:10 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU?

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I have not heard from you for some times now regards to the issue at hand so I decided to contact you to know the position of things because the bank Authorities are worried so please try to do something very urgent to make sure we conclude this transaction within this time.

I hope to hear from you soonest.

My best regards,
Abdul Rashid.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 12:38:29 +0100 (BST)
To: alahmed danbako
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

Dear Mr Danmagaji,

thank you for your email. Things have been going rather badly at the moment, and I've had little time to devote to our business. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you everything that had happened!

However, I am confident that the matter will be settled soon. I just have to sort out something with my lawyer.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 12:42:28 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Rashid,

I had better warn you that I am most displeased with you. How could you allow a fraudster to be your secretary? Do you not have criminal record checks? Your entire business is based on that of trust. If nobody trusted their lawyers the legal world would be in chaos!

I have just transferred over money to Mr Ben. I hope his secretary is not a fraudster. He should deliver the money to you.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- when people apply for jobs with you, ask for something called 'references'. References are statements made by professional people who have known the job applicant for some time; they are usually former employers or teachers or the like. This will drastically reduce your chances of unknowingly employing people with Nick Leeson-like tendencies.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 12:44:29 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I have made the payment

Dear Mr Ben,
I waded my way through to the WU office today. Their computers were still up and running. I was able to make the payment.

Question- Bequest?
Answer- Reception
Control Number- 4976832565

I hope it works this time.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 15:17:48 +0200
Subject: Hope you will reach me now.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I will thank you for your efforts to see that we conclude this transaction now. I have really sent my secretary to pick up the money but the information gotten still remain as it appeared in their system (W0131 We do not have an order with the provided information. Please verify your information and click Check Status.)

I want you to confirm from them to know how many hours it suppose to reflect on the systems over here. Do this very urgent as every machinery has been set in motion to transfer this fund this week as we have delayed to some extent.

Please endeavour to reach me as soon as you get this mail because time is not in our favour. I know you have overcome the shock necesistated by the hurricane.

Looking forward to hear from you.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 15:14:56 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

this is upsetting. I suppose the WU computers over here still have glitches in them. I shall check up on the situation.

It was recently decided, especially after my behaviour in the weather crisis, that I should be made Director of the Mantle Clinic, effective immediately. This is most gratifying news, I'm sure you'll agree. I had some competition from Dr Brundle, who was rather a fly in the ointment. The man has an ability to teleport himself out of any difficulty he makes and look like he had nothing to do with it. Luckily I was able to swat him out of the way.

We may have to change the name of the Mantle Clinic, though. It does not do to have your workplace named after an attempted murderer.

You'll hear from me about the Western Union situation soon.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 19:26:18 +0200
Subject: I appreciate.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

It is good news that my prayer here is about being answered in anticipation of your elevation as the director of Mantle Clinic. It will be cheering news the day it will happen, hoping that it will not be long.

I have a lot of workload here because of influx of new customers in my bank that I used to stay an extra hours to make the work easier for me the next day. Each time I reach home I will be so tired, what do you think about this?, hope to receive medical advice from you.

What I want you to do for me in order to move ahead quickly on this transfer is to scan the payment slip and forward it to me so that I can give it to my secretary to check the payment up. I really want us to be some where at least by friday.

I will very much appreciate it.

Thanks and remain blessed until I hear from you soonest.

My regards,
Johnson ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 12:26:34 +0100 (BST)
Subject: WU have screwed up!

Dear Mr Ben,

I am sorry that everything has taken so long. It seems that the WU computers were affected by the recent storm, meaning all payments ground to a halt. No wonder it didn't enter the system.

I am very angry about this. Those morons are to blame for it all- they shouldn't have told me that the payment went through when it didn't. Fortunately, I have some local connections, and I transferred money through the WU branch in London, Ontario. It wasn't hit by the storm, so their computers should be unaffected. The new control number is 4893656823.

As for your medical enquiry, overwork can be a killer. It can lead to stress, high blood pressure and irritation, and I wouldn't be suprised if you were sufferring from insomnia as well. This isn't really my field, but try taking regular holidays, make sure you go to bed at a reasonable time, and always set aside some time during the week when you don't even think about work. Your employers are also responsible for your welfare; try insisting that they take extra staff on so the workload isn't so great. Avoid caffeine (which is in coffee and tea). Finally, there is an English drug called Senekot which I believe works wonders. Take enough of that, and your workload will be the last thing on your mind.

I hope you're able to pick up the payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,
Dr Christopher Tennant

Senekot is a laxative. Guaranteed to make Mr Ben forget about work. It would be nice to think he actually got hold of some, but I'm pretty sure this is just one more pathetic attempt to make me bond with him.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 16:00:20 +0200
Subject: Accept my thanks.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks million times for your efforts to get this concluded now. I will be checking now and get back to you but my saver is finding it difficult to open this site that's what we have been battling since morning.

I will give you more detailed mail in my subsequent mail to you and thanks for the drug you have just recommended for me as i will asking the pharmacist to send it to me.

Accept my greetings.

Best Wishes,
Johnson Ben.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 08:32:43 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Reply now.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I don't know what is happening as I have just sent my secretary to the bank and yet there is nothing in their records to show for anything. If you have actually done that, kindly send the payment slip to butress the claim as it has not yet reflected. I have actually not understood this matter as this problem continue to linger on despite the fact that I have told you that it is this payment that's delaying this fund.

It is just like a child's play to continue sending my secretary to bank to pick this money only to come back disappointed, he is complaining but am trying to calm him down. I want to get this done quickly so that we can get off from this stage and look ahead of other thing.

Our saver is still giving problem to open tiscali ID as I have told you so you are at liberty to get in touch through this email box.

Reply now.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

The 'secretary' will soon have more to worry about than being embarrassed at the bank. What Mr Ben is referring about emails is his change of email address from a Tiscali address to a Yahoo one. Naturally, the first suspicion to spring to mind is that Tiscali shut down his old one after it got reported.

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 14:29:02 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I really understood your stand over my secretary and the description of my job which is totally based on trust as you have mentioned. I have since dispensed with the services of my secretary and moreso, in this part of the world records are not properly kept. I employed the secretary based on the recommendation of my best friend which the relationship has turned sour because of the secretary's attitude.

I have received information from Mr Johnson Ben on the latest development as he still confirm to me that his secretary has not succeeded in picking the WU. You should try to strenghten the records so that I can procure the endorsed certificate of deposit and forward same to you without delay.

I urge you to expedite action on the clearing of this payment as bank is very eager to transfer this fund the moment they receive the payment.

Looking forward to hearing from you soonest.

Yours Sincerely,
Abdul Rashid (Esq).

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 12:21:28 +0100 (BST)
Subject: How could you?

Dear Mr Ben,

remember that new legislation I told you about? Well, guess what?

MR CHIDI IS AN ADVANCE FEE FRAUDSTER!

I couldn't believe it. I was phoned by Mr Jeremy Irons, the manager of the London Ontario WU office with the news. He told me that Mr Chidi was in league with a group of contemptible lowlife criminals who are trying to defraud people!

Explain yourself, Mr Ben! First Mr Mbah comes close to walking off with my money, then Mr Chidi swans along hoping to do the same! God bless Western Union and storm-damaged computer systems- if I hadn't been lucky Mr Chidi would be laughing. If Dr Victim were alive, he'd be flying over to see you right now with his shotgun. Loaded or not, it would still be lethal in his hands; he'd force it into more than your mouth. You should be thanking the Lord daily that I'm more of a pacifist than he ever was.

I do not think this was a coincidence, Mr Ben. It is up to you to convince me that you are not trying to defraud me with Mr Rashid. Otherwise I shall give all the information I have about you to the police. They say they are very close to making arrests, and my information may just be enough to finish Mr Mbah and Mr Chidi off. If you are in this with them, Mr Ben, they will drag you down with them. The currents will be too strong for you not to drown.

Reply to me IMMEDIATELY. Your future lies in your hands.

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 16:37:24 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Reply, damn you!

Dear Mr Ben,

you have not replied to my email. Do you really want the Canadian police hunting you down and shooting you like a rabid mongrel?

Avoid the fate of the mongrel, Mr Ben. I am waiting.

Dr Christopher Tennant

PART THE THIRD!

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 08:50:24 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: There is no such evidence as it may be coincidence

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

This could not have been true and I have every evidence to proof you wrong. I started very well with you to get this kind of treatment is most regretful. You are well versed and somebody to tell you this and that about a person you cannot proof is the one involved is abysmally damaging.

There may be coincidence in name such as it obtains any where in the world more especially with African names to conclude or label one as a criminal is an uncouth language without concrete evidence to buttress your claim.

I have all tried to make you understand me on certain fundamental issues to this transaction with evidence to show you that Mr. Victim left this money with us here in the bank with Newspaper publication that something actually happened. I never believed in shadow chasing and I can prove to you the innocent and honesty of my personal secretary in any law court we may stand to argue his person. There is empirical evidence to this transaction which from all intent and purposes you can agree with me with real documents that have so far been sent to you. The issue of contention is an endorsed certificate of deposit which this token were demanded from the bank because of an oversight which we have all agreed that it has happened and lets forget and forge ahead instead of the argument that it generated.

If you are still interested to get this transaction done forget this unnecessary distraction and let us remain focused and get this fund transferred without further delay. I will not bother you about the money again to show you the genuine of my heart because of the delay that this has caused as you know you are an administrator to Mr. Victim's estates and they lies your obligation to make this payment. I am going ahead to make the payment and any time the attorney send you the certificate of deposit you know I have actually done that.

Looking forward to hear from you soonest.

My regards,

Johnson Ben.

This is quite rare- a scammer has actually foregone a payment. Mr Ben hasn't just told me to send the money by another method, he's told me to forget about it. I'm sure that he's now seething and I'll be hit with bigger fees later, but it's a minor triumph nevertheless.

Meanwhile, let's take stock. I have given Mr Ben absolutely no evidence at all that
- Dr Christopher Tennant exists
- The Mantle Clinic exists
- Dr Victim's legacy exists
- Anencephalics'R'Us exists
- The Monetary Transactions Act 2003 exists

and the penny STILL hasn't dropped.
JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 12:18:05 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: Reply

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Your question to the best of my knowledge has been answered and correctly too, so if you have any other questions to ask do direct them as I have every evidence before me to support any claim.

I await any further questions from you.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 12:12:44 +0100 (BST)
Subject: You have a chance to redeem yourself in my eyes

Dear Mr Ben,

as I see it, the evidence is pretty conclusive against your secretary. I have started to suspect that he may be in league with Mr Mbah, that notorious bastard scoundrel whom Mr Rashid had to fire. Ordinarily, I would be reluctant to continue with this transaction.

However. Your defence is convincing to those of egregious intelligence. Rest assured that I did not starting wild accusations based on hearsay; as far the evidence concerning your secretary is concerned, it is conclusive. Get rid of him. As a matter of fact, I recommend the Stalin technique of ensuring company loyalty, which has an astonishing success rate. You should look it up some time. True, the technique falls apart as soon as you retire, but at least you won't be around to experience the decay first hand.

As for you, I might have spoken a trifle harshly. I have not had the best few weeks, as you know. I had forgotten about all the entirely convincing documentation you whipped up for me.

I accept your offer. Get the Certificate of Deposit to me as soon as possible, and I will forget the entire affair. You will have proved yourself to me. But please get it to me quickly.

I hope as much as you do that our relations can return to what they once were before it was revealed that Nigerian banks don't do criminal background checks on their employees.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 05:08:10 -0700
From: alahmed danbako
Subject: Everything is in place

Dr Christopher Tennant,

Today your attorney Barrister Abdul Rashid has made the payment of the amount charged and the original Certificate of Deposit used by Mr Victim to deposit the fund in our bank has been given to him. And by now is expected he must have forwarded same to you for the completion of this fund transfer.

As soon as you receive the Certificate of Deposit you should endeavour to forward same to us for necessary action.

We look forward to hear from you soonest.

Yours Sincerely,

Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 15:12:23 +0100 (BST)

Dear Dr Danmagaji,

thank you for your email. I'm very sorry about all these problems about the certificate. But, just as a friendly word, I think you should carefully look through your employees and run a few criminal record checks. I'm not saying anything about the past few days, but in my experience the financial institutions and legal systems in your country appear to be deplorably lax about such matters. You never know what your employees might be getting up to in their social life (like stealing money from medical charities).

Anyway. Mr Rashid has not yet sent the Certificate to me. I will do so as soon as he does.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 10:49:20 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: It will be reaching you soonest pls bear with me.

Dr Christopher Tennant,

Hope you and your family are fine today?

Today Mr. Ben hand over US$455.00 to me to go and pay for the endorsed Certificate of Deposit and I have done that and the Authorities concerned have also hand over the Original Certificate to me. I was trying to attach it to send to you but the server is very slow but I will make sure you receive it before sunday. I just want to inform you that there is no problem because we are moving forward.

As soon as you receive the document do not hesitate to contact me for my record.

Thanks for you kind co-operation.

Barr. Abdul Rashid.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 25 Sep 2004 09:17:15 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Rashid,

thank you for your email. I know we have had our difficulties over the past couple of weeks, but hopefully everything should be smooth sailing in the future.

I sympathise with your computer problems. The storm here last week caused a huge number of difficulties, and due to water getting into electrical circuits I believe the number of switchboard operators dying was higher than usual.

My regards to you and everyone in your office who is not trying to rob me.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

ABDUL RASHID

Date: Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:36:37 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Find Attached Documents

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Find Attached Original Certificate of Deposit, please download and reattached and send to the Bank to enable the Bank do their work as they are waiting to confirm the receipt of this document from your humbleself.

Try to do that as soon as you receive it and confirm to me the receipt for my record.

I hope on your side in the Clinic or in your house there is no damage because of the storm, if so thanks be to God. I am taking my best time to monitor those that work in my Chambers now to avoid that which has been happened before.

Waiting to hearing from you soonest.

With my best wishes,
Barr. Abdul Rashid.

The certificate is exactly the same as the old one, only it's now been signed with a green marker pen.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 11:23:42 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Rashid,

thank you very much for the certificate. I shall send it on immediately.

Is that Mr Victim's photograph? Looks very distinguished. Dr Victim was regrettably uncaring about his personal appearance. Some patients were nervous about being treated by someone whose teeth stuck in all compass directions. Which was unfair, because his personal hygiene was impeccable. He could blind people with the whiteness of those teeth.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 11:26:30 +0100 (BST)

Dear Dr Danmagaji,

Please find enclosed the Certificate you have been waiting so ardently for. I trust this will move us onto the next stage of this interminable affair.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 11:28:09 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I have sent the certificate

Dear Mr Ben,

Wonderful news! The certificate has arrived! I have sent it to the bank. I apologise for any suspicions I may have had that you were nothing but worthless scum. When can I expect to receive the money?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 04:02:12 -0700
From: alahmed danbako
Subject: CONTACT ME ASAP.

Attention: Dr. Christopher Tennant,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of the Certificate of Deposit you sent to this office; this also assured us that you are the real adiminitrator of Mr. Victim who is entitled to his fund deposited in our bank for years now.

This morning the Authorities of this bank have gone into deliberation on how you will receive your entitlement fund without any delay. We have arrived in conclussion that your fund will be released and deliverred to your destination through Diplomatic means, you have to receive this fund in cash payment in your Country after signing the final release order documents.

We will arrange with a Security Company here that has immunity to deliver fund world wide so that they can move this fund to your Country. In this wise, we want you to indicate your interest in receiving this fund in cash payment in your Country before we finalise arrangement with the Security Company and which will be contacting you to inform you the mode of their delivery and the date that the Consignment will be reaching your Country.

Your Urgent attention is imperative to enable us finalise with the Security Company here and move this fund to their custody.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Yours faithfully,

Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.
Director Foreign Operations
Standard Trust Bank Plc.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 12:43:51 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Danmagaji,

thank you for your email. I am very pleased that everything is now in order. Yes, it would be very helpful if the consignment was brought over to Canada. I thought that it would be done electronically through bank accounts, but no matter. My bank won't make any problems if I give them everything in cash.

You are using diplomatic means? What sort of diplomats are involved? Is there some sort of political edge to this transaction?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 05:04:17 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: I count it all joy.

Dr Christopher Tennant,

It is very interesting to hear the news that all the fightings and trading of words have come to stop. I made a very spirited efforts to make the payment,it was surprising to tell you what I passed through to get the money paid,but I count it all joy. I know our foreign operations department will contact you to intimate you on when the fund will finally get to you.

As soon as they contact you endeavour to reach me.

Awaiting your response.

My best regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 15:02:15 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

again, I cannot thank you enough for paying the money. I have been contacted by the bank, and they plan to deliver it to me in cash. This appears to be a little lax to me- one cannot simply hide this amount of money in a sock under the bed- but perhaps that's how it's done with the more primitive banking systems. I wonder how heavy it will be.

Please tell me more about how you raised the money. I wouldn't like to think you had gone through anything too difficult. Bear in mind, though, that once we get the fund you will be fully reimbursed.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 04:17:09 -0700
From: alahmed danbako
Subject: They will be contacting you.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I have the pleasure to inform you that this morning we have finalised arrangement with the Security Company here that will be contacting you for the delivery of this consignment to your Country. In this wise, I want you to keep in touch with me as soon as you hear from the Authority from the Security Company to let me know that they have contacted you, and for easy and speed delivery of this consignment to your Country, you have to cooperate with the Authority incharge of your fund to enable you receive this fund after signing the necessary documents.

Please always keep in touch.

Yours faithfully,

Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 06:26:54 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: It is well.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your kind mail and the question that bothers on the fund which the foreign operations reserves the right to know which way suites better. The foreign operations department might have decided to use security company to move the fund for easy delivery. As soon as you get any correspondent from them do well to reach me for my records.

I raised the money to pay for the charge through my wife which I hope to pay her as soon as we conclude this transaction.

Looking forward to hear from you soonest.

My regards,

Johnson Ben.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 30 Sep 2004 13:51:33 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

How are you today?, hope everything is right with you as I have not heard from you for some days now. I want to know whether you have been contacted by the diplomat, please update me on any latest development.

I wait for your reply.

My best regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2004 12:16:17 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

sorry for my silence, but I've been waiting to be contacted by the diplomats. It's not happened. Perhaps they are too busy improving international relations at the moment, or spying on the countries they work in.

This really isn't good enough, is it? Could you please tell the bank to hurry up? I'd be most grateful.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PAUL CLEMENT

Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2004 11:53:00 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Regarding Your Consigment Box

Attn : Dr Chirstopher Tennant

Dear Sir,

This is to inform you that I have just arrived in Toronto Canada with your consignment and I want you to make immediately arrangement on how to come down here in canada to claim the consigment, Now we will be needing the amount of US$8,880.00 for the clearnce and handling fees and I want you to come along with the money,

Please I want you to be in Toronto Canada if possible this week end ok, Because I do not have mush time to spend here in canada I only have 2 weeks visa to stay in canada,

Get back to me immediately you receive this mail and tell me when you will be coming,

Waiting to hear from you soon,

Regardss

Mr Paul Clement

Unfortunately I can't find out where this came from. Given the plaintive whines that Tennant will endure over the next two weeks, I have to assume that one of the scammers did indeed come to Toronto. But how far did he have to travel? Did they just happen to have friends in Toronto? Did someone have to fly over? How much trouble were they put to? I'm hoping that they specially sent someone out to wait for two weeks, but we'll never know.

One thing's for certain though; however much trouble they went to, it was more than I went to, since I naturally had no intention of moving from my PC.
CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 11:22:55 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Clement,

thank you so much for arranging to meet me so near my location. I am sure that two weeks is sufficient for us to complete our transaction. Surely nothing can go wrong now.

I am afraid that I cannot see you this weekend. Given recent events, which verge on the unbelievable, I am taking a couple of days off from work to recuperate, and am having a little holiday. But I should be back by Tuesday. Shall we say midday? Where precisely would you like to meet?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- I am told that you are a diplomat. From what country?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 11:27:38 +0100 (BST)
Subject: The diplomat has contacted me

Dear Mr Ben,

I am arranging to meet the diplomat on Tuesday. they want another fee for some reason. Obviously, given your heavenly generosity over the WU debacle, I cannot ask you to pay it. I will have to raise the money myself. It shouldn't be that difficult- after all, Dr Victim was a very wealthy man, as I said. His patients were most grateful towards him, and left him numerous legacies in their wills- all using exactly the same format of drafting, oddly enough.

However, thinking it through, it seems to me that I'd better ask a bit more about this fee. Don't worry, we're almost home and dry now. But better safe than sorry, eh?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 11:30:28 +0100 (BST)
Subject: I just want to clear something up

Dear Mr Clement,

thinking about it, the fees do seem a little steep. Now I am quite willing to pay for something that is necessary, but I'd like to first be reassured that it is necessary! I hope you understand my caution; this is a delicate business and I've already been twice harassed by fraudsters over this. Could you please provide a breakdown of what the $8,880 is required for?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PAUL CLEMENT

Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 13:06:32 -0400 (EDT)

Attn Dr, Chirstopher Tennant

Dear Sir,

This is to acknowlegde receipt of your mail, Well regarding your questions about the fees, The fees is for the clearnce and handling charges, Sir listen you have to beleive me ok because all I am doing is just trying to make sure that you receive your consignment with out no problem, The fees should have be more because this your consignment is very big box but I do explained to the canadian government that I am dilopmat from other country and beside that I do not have so mush money with me, And after my explanation to them we both agreed for me to pay the US$8,800.00.

I want you to tell me when you will be coming to canada because the wether over here is too cold for me.

Get back to me as soon as possible

Thanks,

Mr Paul Clement

The above must be the most ridiculous email a scammer's ever sent me.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 12:56:35 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: It is fine.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

How are you today? hope you are fine . I thank you so much on your update on the whole arrangement and pray that you will always be blessed.

I hope you have come over the truama that ugly incident brought to the residents of your area for the past weeks. I pray very much for your safety and others that are concern especially the children.

Whatever anyone spent must be deducted before sharing anything at the end of this transaction.

I look forward to hear from you for more update.

My best regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 3 Oct 2004 11:27:20 +0100 (BST)
Subject: The temperature doesn't matter

Dear Mr Clement,

I am confused.

The first thing I'd like to mention is that you are asking for an awful lot of money- therefore the climate of Canada is irrelevant. Do you think I enjoy freezing sub-zero temperatures? I do not, and yet I have to live here; you, on the other hand, are here for two weeks for something that will take at maximum half a day to complete and for which you are getting paid $8,880. Keep a stiff upper lip, Mr Clement. I'm sure the hotel you are staying in has adequate central heating, and room service will cater to your every desire. Secondly, I do not need to travel to Canada. I am IN Canada. I work there. It is coming to Toronto that I have to do.

Aside from your personal little peccadilloes, you have not provided a breakdown of the fee. You say you have negotiated with the Canadian government for a lower price- for that, I thank you. But it does not answer my question.

My dear sir, surely this cannot be difficult for you; after all, you are the one asking me for the fee, surely you should be aware what it is needed for. But given everything that has happened since this business started, I need that breakdown. You would do the same if you were in my position.

If I can't have that breakdown, we can't meet. Over to you.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 3 Oct 2004 11:32:05 +0100 (BST)
Subject: The diplomat doesn't appear to be fine

Dear Mr Ben,

thank you for your email. Certainly, all expenses will be deducted before we share the money out. However, I do not want to have to deduct money that we could have saved; that doesn't make good business sense.

I'm afraid to say that the diplomat is proving to be two nurses short of an operating theatre. I asked him for a breakdown of the costs and he replied saying that he wanted to complete the transaction as quickly as possible because Canada is too cold for him! Can you imagine? We are paying him good money to do this, and he whines about the weather! Dr Victim went swimming for half an hour everyday in the local river- it did him no harm, except for the occasional hypothermia. You will be glad to hear that I knocked down this feeble excuse with the contempt it deserved. I told Mr Clement that I could not meet him unless he provided that breakdown.

I'll let you know what the man replies with.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 03:31:01 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Reply.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail and the update. I beleive by the grace of God that all the disputed areas will be settled with the diplomat so that the scheduled meeting tomorrow will hold as proposed. I know there will be understanding between both of you so that we can conclude this transaction as scheduled and to enable you finalise with the diplomat.

Please, I urge you to cooperate with the diplomat as you know some people are allergic to certain whether conditions and equally know that body chemistry are not the same. So I want you to do all you can do to have the meeting tomorrow as you know that the hotel bill might be mounting as I have done all I can do to this transaction to this point.

I look forward for good news.

My best regards as I wait for your update.

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 11:43:37 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

your concern for Mr Clement's health is touching, but I feel misguided. Two things- first, I have never heard in all my medical study of somebody being allergic to the cold. I suppose that someone somewhere might have an incredibly rare genetic condition predisposing them against the cold, but that brings me onto point number two- if he suffers from such a condition, why on earth has he been sent to Canada? Did the delivery company put a gun to his head and force him or something?

As for the hotel bill, I will pay for that out of my share. I do not mind spending money when it ensures my financial safety. So do not worry; none of this will affect you.

I am still waiting for his response.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 07:54:53 -0700
From: alahmed danbako
Subject: Let me know the position of things.

Dr Christopher Tennant,

Hope you and your family are fine today?

I have not heard from you to know if the Diplomat has contacted you or not? I will like to hear from you to know the position of things.

Looking forward to hearing from you soonest.

Dr. Al- Ahmed Danmagaji.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 16:51:29 +0100 (BST)

Dear Dr Danmagaji,

thank you for your email. Unfortunately, I must say that the diplomats you use are of less use than Neville Henderson. Mr Clement has been complaining to me about the weather, for some reason. You aren't aware of any medical condition he may have, are you?

I am waiting for a breakdown of the costs of delivery. After that all will be plain sailing.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

Neville Henderson was the last British diplomat to Germany before the Second World War. Like most others, it took a very long time for him to realize exactly what Hitler was up to. The historian LB Namier summed him up as 'conceited, vain, self-opinionated, rigidly adhering to his preconceived ideas, he poured out telegrams, dispatches and letters in unbelievable numbers and of formidable length, repeating a hundred times the same ill-formed view and ideas.'

Looking at it now, the comparison between him and the average scammer contains more similarities than I realized at first.

PAUL CLEMENT

Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 12:44:04 -0400 (EDT)

Attn Dr Christopher Tennant

Dear Sir,

Regarding your questions I have explanined to you several times that the US$8,800.00 is for clearance and handling charges,

Thanks,

Mr Paul Clement

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 5 Oct 2004 12:24:24 +0100 (BST)
Subject: You are too vague

Dear Mr Clement,

woah, woah, woah. Hold your horses, man. Suppose you were booking treatment at my clinic. You would be told you'd need to pay for an operation. But we would tell you what costs what- the actual operation, the after-treatment, insurance, other facilities, etc, etc. We certainly don't just say we need $X for your operation; that's much too vague, and it'd never hold up in court.

So what are these 'clearance and handling charges'? Am I paying for the insurance? The flights for both you and the delivery? Who am I precisely paying the fee to? What clearance was required? The bank's? Nigeria's? Canada's?

Liaise with your finance department. I'm sure they have records of such. If they didn't, your company would be a shoddy one indeed.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Tue, 5 Oct 2004 07:08:41 -0700
Subject: Urgent.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your kind mail as I quite appreciate your efforts towards this transaction. You know as a visitor he must actual being hit by the weather condition of the country so I plead with you to see at his own angle. I want you to try as much as you could to meet up the appointment as everything has been handed over to the diplomat.

I look forward to hear from you soonest.

Yours Sincerely,

Dr Al-Ahmed Danmagaji.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 6 Oct 2004 11:45:24 +0100 (BST)

Dear Dr Danmagaji,

what's all this concern over the weather? If I visited your country, and was well paid to do so, would I spend my time ungraciously whining about the heat? Certainly not. Unless people were dropping dead under a fiery blazing sun I would have a more civil tongue in my head.

We are dealing here with millions of dollars that are needed to fund vital research into a devastating children's illness. The fact that Mr Clement forgot to pack a woolly hat when he came over here is irrelevant.

I need that breakdown. And if Mr Clement hangs around much longer then winter is going to come and he'll have a chance to find out exactly how cold it can be around here.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 6 Oct 2004 04:22:35 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Reply.

Hello Dr Christopher Tennant,

How are you today?, hope you are fine. I dont know why you have disconnected for these few days probably because of busy schedule if so take it easy to avoid boredown.

I hope your meeting with the diplomat suppose to be yesterday, how was the meeting, hope everything went right as envisaged. I am still waiting to hear from you.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

AL-AHMED DANMAGAJI

Date: Wed, 6 Oct 2004 07:38:59 -0700
Subject: Urgent.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for getting back to me. Based on the contents of your mail which I don't seem to understand very clear I want to know where you are experiencing problem with the diplomat. If I do know where the problem is from I can now do well to feed the authorities as to trash it out and conclude this transaction now. So I want you to actual disclose the reason why you have not met with the diplomat uptill now.

I have called the home office here and they have told me that the diplomat have given you the breakdown so that I don't know whether your problem is from the money he told you to come with because I don't see the weather as a serious problem.

Please do indicate to me very urgent where the problem lies.

Looking forward to your urgent response.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr Al- Ahmed Danmagaji.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2004 12:01:29 +0100 (BST) Dear Mr Ben,

I think the disconnection was more about technical difficulties. Sorry about that.

The diplomat still hasn't given me the breakdown, the chump. I'll tell you when he has.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

I'm uncertain what happened here, so I made up some excuse. I think it was just that Mr Ben was concerned that I hadn't emailed him in particular for a few days.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2004 12:07:02 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Danmagaji,

how do I expain this? The diplomat told me that the money was needed for handling charges. You call that a breakdown? I don't. Who wants the handling charges? Is it an import tax? Am I paying Mr Clement's fees? Customs? The people who made the containers the shipment is being delivered in? I need precision, Mr Danmagaji- fraudulent characters have already made this difficult, and I do not want to get my fingers burnt.

Now, that is the actual reason. Why on Earth would I want to stall this? I need that money for my charity. I have no reason not to want the money; it wouldn't make sense.

You have got confused over the weather, by the way. Mr Clement thinks the weather is a serious problem. I do not. I consider it irrelevant. But apparently, because it's cold, I'm supposed to drop everything for him.

Will somebody PLEASE give me that breakdown? As soon as I have it, I will meet him.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2004 12:42:07 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Do well to settle with the diplomat.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I am very glad to hear from you after days of silence. I still believe the issue of the breakdown will be amicably settled and the transaction concluded immediately as I am very afraid of the mounting bills being encountered in hotel accomodation to avoid our shares heavely depleted.

I would wish you meet the diplomat so as to round this up and get moving. I will be counting on your cooperation and understanding at this material time of this transaction as am waiting to hear the good news that the issue have been settled.

I quite got as I have just made telephone call that the charges have been reduced so as to avoid unnecessary delay, so do all you can to meet the diplomat and update me.

I look forawrd to hear from you.

Best wishes,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 8 Oct 2004 13:48:59 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

Mr Clement has not yet replied to my emails. It seems that he does not want to meet me.

I think I'll give him a well-deserved kick up the arse to get moving. This delay is helping nobody.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 8 Oct 2004 13:51:44 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Clement,

get moving, man. I haven't heard from you since Monday. Are you going to provide that breakdown or not?

My patience is wearing as thin as a bungee cord made from an elastic band. Wake up and give me that breakdown.

Dr Christopher Tennant

The next email was sent with some flashy graphics embedded in it, with links provided to some companies I suspect were real (and hence companies who would not at all be happy about scammers using them).

DIPLOMATIC DELIVERER

Date: Fri, 08 Oct 2004 09:01:49 -0500

From: Diplomatic Deliverer

To: Christopher Tennant

Subject: Dr Christopher Tennant

Attn: Dr Christopher Tennant

We have received all your mails, we want to notified you that the payment you are making is custom fee. So go ahead and conclude with the diplomat to enable you receive the money today.

Best regards,

Frank Furt.

Foreign Operation Director.

PAUL CLEMENT

Date: Fri, 8 Oct 2004 18:48:36 -0400 (EDT)

Dear Sir,

Are you still coming to meet with me or not Because my time is runing up here. Let me know when you will be coming. Have you geting in touch with your parthner in Africa regarding the status of thing over here ?

Waiting

Paul Clement

And with everyone yelling at me - even people I don't know are yelling at me - I'm still not budging.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2004 10:12:52 +0100 (BST)

Ye gods man,

yes, I will meet with you.

But only if you provide that breakdown.

Let me make this clear-

I need that breakdown. Give me that breakdown. Email it to me. Fax it to me. Courier it by homing pigeon to me. Write it out on headed notepaper, printer paper or the inside of a chocolate wrapper. I don't mind. I don't care. Just give me that breakdown!

By the way, some diplomatic company sent me an email saying that they wanted to me meet with their representative. Would that be you?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2004 10:16:19 +0100 (BST)
To: Diplomatic Deliverer

Dear sir,

are you talking about Mr Paul Clement? Please make sure you provide more concrete details next time you contact me; in my business I am dealing with international shipments weekly, and I am simply too busy to play detective.

If you are representing Mr Clement, please make him start doing what he's paid for and providing a service. Also, send him a thermal vest or two so he doesn't complain about the Canadian climate too much.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sun, 10 Oct 2004 07:36:11 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Happy sunday.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail and the stage of the transaction that you have updated me. I have reliably learnt from the office that they have taken care of the half of the charges leaving you with the other half, I want you to meet the diplomat tomorrow to avoid this fund being brought back. We could not afford to waste all our time to end up not realising the hard earned struggle. You could imagine how we started and the stage we are now and the input both of us have put so I plead with you to meet the diplomat tomorrow.

I hope by tomorrow everyting will be settled with the diplomat as I look forward to hear from you on the success.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 10:09:12 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

the fund's going to be taken back?

Hang on, this intolerable! They can't unilaterally decide to take the bloody fund back. It's ours, damn it!

We must be firm about this. There is no reason- I repeat, NO REASON- that they can't leave it here for me to collect. They are a delivery service, for God's sake. They are supposed to deliver, not withold valuable consignments on a whim. No other company would act this childishly. It would never stand up in court. I am fully prepared to fight this, and I will tell them so.

Meeting half the cost was a noble action on your part, my friend, but I fear it will only encourage them. You have to be strong. We can't let our lives be ruled by the petulance of those we actually pay to work for us.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 10:12:59 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Would you really take the consignment back?

Dear Mr Clement,

I have just had a worrying message from my business partner. Apparently you want to take the consignment back. Well, you can't do that. No courier company would. I have agreed to meet you once you provide a cost breakdown. This is a more than reasonable request, one you have failed to fulfil. If you take the consignment back, I shall have no other choice than to take legal action against you. You have been warned.

Our lawyers are very good. When the hospital waste got mixed up with the canteen delivery three years ago, our lawyers were able to get all charges dropped, and we were even able to get damages from the food suppliers for not labelling their deliveries adequately.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 04:27:08 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Plse try to meet him today.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your stand on the issue of taking the fund back, but I want to know when you are going to meet with the diplomat. You have not disclosed to me when you are likely to meet him which I presume to be done today to avoid this dealy.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 12:28:48 +0100 (BST)

Dear Mr Ben,

I shall meet Mr Clement when he provides the cost breakdown, not before.

I have TOLD him this just this morning. The man does not appear to be interested. Should he attempt to leave Canada without giving me the consignment, rest assured I have my lawyers on speed-dial.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 04:46:34 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Very Urgent.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I have just received an urgent call that you have been given uptil to 14th october to meet with the diplomat or get the consignment returned. I want you to do all you can to meet the diplomat with half you suppose to pay as we have taken care of the other half . You should endeavour to make the meeting possible today. I want to know what the cost breakdown means so that I can advice, hope you will communicate immediately.

Thanks,

Waiting your reply soon.

Best wishes,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 15:20:54 +0100 (BST)

WHAT?!

THEY CAN'T DO THAT!

I warned them, Mr Ben. I shall be contacting the Mantle Clinic's lawyers over this!

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

 We screwed up. We left out Dr Tennant's abortive trip to Canada to meet the Lads. Well here it is!

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004
To: paul clement
Subject: Do not take that consignment back

Dear Mr Clement,

I have heard very disturbing news from my partner that if I don't meet you by the 14th you will be taking back my consignment. Quite aside from the fact that you should have told me about this personally, rather than heaping the responsibility onto my partner, you have no right to take such a course of action.

For the last time, my threat of legal action is not an idle one. Should that consignment leave the country I will sue your company into the next decade. You don't know what poverty is until you've run up against GrabbeMiwang & Co.

Dr Christopher Tennant

PAUL CLEMENT

Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004
Attn Dr. Christopher Tennant

Dear Sir,

Well It seem to me that you are not serious about geting your consignment, I personally told you that I only have Two weeks visa to stay in canada but you don,t if bother try to meet up with me all you are doing is keep on asking the same questions over and over, Well I will be departing toronto by Oct 14, 2004 ok, I can only extend my stay only if I receive positive response from you regarding if you have goting the US$8,800.00 and also if you are ready to meet me in order for us to complete this business.

I require that you reply this mail within 24 Hrs and do answer the above questions, If I did not hear from within 24hours that mean I have no choice order than to depart on Oct 14, 2004

Waiting for your urgent response

Mr Paul Clement

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004
Subject: Very Urgent.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I got your mail but you have not really cleared the pressing issues that need to be cleared like the time you are meeting with the diplomat and question of breakdown. I will be very intereseted to know what you mean by breakdown and how I will go about making my own little input to clear the impasse.

The question of contacting a lawyer is not now because it is an inhouse matter which you suppose to have cleared by contacting the diplomat since he arrived in your country for this assignment, just think about it if you were in his shoes.

I solicit you to do the necessary and update me with the positive response.

Looking forward to hear from you.

Best regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

good God, I feel like I've been saying this a thousand times. What I mean is that I receive a document which details exactly what the costs are needed for.

I shall give that diplomat- if he is a diplomat- one last chance. He can explain to me personally what is going on. I shall let you know what is happening.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Clement,

given your monumental incompetance, I feel I shouldn't have to meet you halfway on this. You haven't been trying. However, I am prepared to give you a last chance. I shall meet you today. You will tell me personally exactly what the costs are. If you fail, I shall walk away without giving you anything and you can start worrying about your company going bankrupt.

Meet me at midday, main concourse of Toronto Union station. This will be your only chance. I shall be wearing a dark grey business suit, white shirt, dark blue tie and glasses, carrying a black briefcase. I have short dark hair which is greying. I shall be close to the ticket office. If you can't find me, have the information desk put out an announcement for me.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

very disturbing news. I expect that criminal Mr Clement is whining to you now, complaining that I didn't show up for our meeting. Well, there's a very good reason I didn't go. Mr Clement told me he had a two-week visa and had contacts with the Canadian government. Now I have various useful contacts with civil servants around here and it was a simple matter to look up his details. I did this because it occurred to me that no security company employee, and certainly no diplomat would have behaved so childishly as he does.

It wasn't a complete shock, but I found out that there weren't any records of a Paul Clement anywhere on the system. He probably got into Canada under another name, perhaps his real name. Speaking to Genevieve Bujold, a charming lady who knows about such things, Mr Clement was almost certain to have nefarious intentions. One trick, I found out, was to present the victim with a box of 'money' once he had paid, defaced with black ink. The victim would be told that this could be removed with a special 'chemical'- which, naturally, would be very expensive. And once the poor victim realised what was going on, the fraudsters would be laughing far away. However, she went on to say, given the circumstances it would be more likely that Mr Clement would just have mugged me. Thank God I checked, eh?

However, the Canadian police are not completely powerless. They sent someone along to the station at the time of our appointment to see if anyone turned up. I don't yet know the results, but tailing someone is simpler than you'd imagine, and could produce other interesting leads. In the interests of justice, I have forwarded on all my correspondence with 'Mr Clement'.

This does leave us with the question of where the money is now. It definitely wasn't brought into Canada, I know that much. My friend, you obviously have more means than I do to investigate the security company at your end. I think you should put the local police onto them. Do not worry that your local police might constantly crop up in Amnesty International magazines; the company will deserve all the brutality it gets.

Do let me know your opinion immediately.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2004

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I don't know what is happening but all that I beleive in the success no matter the threat of the devil. I have worked assidiously to be this far but all what I have been seeing and receiving is this but I have applied for the recall of the fund from the security company to effect direct transfer on your account. I don't even understand the present situation because the diplomat seem not to behave true to his call.

If you are still interested you should contact me immediately for direct transfer which the management of the bank are delibating about now because of the flop on the side of the security company.

I look forward to hear from you.

regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. I've spent all day in a meeting about updating the Mantle Clinic. We want to get rid of all traces of the Mantles, and we're renaming the Clinic because we don't think that naming it after a couple of drug-addled psychotics is very good publicity. One alternative people have come up with is the Dropasprog Clinic, named after a famous Czech obstetrician. I'm not that enthusiastic about it. He has given considerable help to us over the years, but it's well known that he collects umbilical cords in his spare time. What would people say?

What do you think? I'd value your advice.

Goodness, Mr Ben, I wish I had your optimism. We are hounded at every turn by back stabbing thieves who would sell their own grandmothers for tuppence. How such people can live with their guilty consciences I have no idea; I'd sooner blow my brains out than become one of them. You are surrounded by crooks. Perhaps direct transfer would be best. Just as long as the bank staff don't try to nick it. How does it work?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004
To: paul clement
Subject: The game is up

Mr Clement,

you're the lowest of the low. How dare you attempt to steal from a children's charity? The money you were salivating over, no doubt, was supposed to help seriously ill children reach a better standard of living. Do you care? Of course not; nothing matters except screwing over strangers, friends, family, countrymen and draining everything out of their bank accounts.

Well, Mr Clement, the game is up. The police have all the information that I can give them, and they assure me that it will not be long before they pay you a visit. Yes, I know that 'Paul Clement' isn't your real name. But do you imagine that with today's modern technology it is not a simple matter to trace you?

You should be ashamed of yourself. You will spend your life alone and unloved, for nobody could ever love someone who spends his life stealing from others.

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004
To: johnson.ben@tiscali.fr
Subject: Are you alright?

Dear Mr Ben,

I have not heard from you. Is everything alright? This is most unlike you.

I really need to move ahead. We've wasted enough time with these bank robbers you keep on getting involved with. Please contact me as soon as you can so I know that nothing bad has happened.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004
Subject: I am suspicious

Dear Mr Ben,

your long silence does not bode well. And thinking about it, I can see why you may be concerned about further contact with me. So far I've seen you as an angel of light amongst a pack of demons wanting to defraud me. Now I realise that it might be more likely that you are no different from the rest.

I give you one chance to convince me, Mr Ben. Otherwise I will have no alternative but to ask the police about you.

Maybe you are a rabid mongrel after all.

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004
Subject: You've failed

'Mr Ben',

well, I have now discovered the whole story. There never was any Mr Victim, was there Mr Ben? You are not an accountant, and I highly doubt that your poorly-educated and semi-literate scam buddies are the genuine article either. You haven't written a word of truth throughout this entire exchange. But thanks to the ever-vigilant Western Union and my own sense of self-preservation, you might have got your grubby little hands on Dr Victim's money.

This money, as you well know, came from a children's charity. It was intended to help improve the lives of thousands across the world. Who steals from a charity, man? If I were you I would be ashamed of myself, but naturally you don't have any shame. Or decency. Or integrity. Or brain cells.

I went to my lawyers and told them the whole story. They were also deeply suspicious of you and we passed everything onto the police, who were very grateful for all the information. They told me that your real name is not Mr Ben, you are more likely to sleep in the doorway of a bank than work in it, and you spend your days typing ill-educated emails to potential victims with one finger in a badly-equipped internet cafe.

So our waltz comes to a close, and I will always remember what a close escape I had from your machinations. This will be the last you hear from me directly, but no doubt you'll be thinking of the Mantle Clinic as you lie rotting in a jail cell. Look on the bright side, though; at least you'll get a roof over your head for once.

Dr Christopher Tennant

... and this is where you came in before ...

MR BEN FINALLY GIVES UP AS THINGS GO FROM BAD TO VERSE

Dear Scamoramans,
Having not heard from Mr Ben for a few days now, I think it's safe to say that he's finally got the hint and vacated. With that last email of the 15th October, you'd have thought the game was over; but I didn't bank on Ben's stubbornness and sheer idiocy. How much further can I drag it out? Read on!
JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004
) Subject: Why failed?

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

It is shocking that I could hear this kind of word from you despite all my efforts to get to the smooth conclusion of this business. My silence all this while does not connote any evil but borne out of the industrial unrest that culminated to total paralysis of activities in my country because of fuel hike by the government. It is only late saturday that the consignment was returned and I could not immediately reach you without properly briefing on the next line of action.

It is very improper to address this issue in that word because I have never delayed in reaching you on any matter that is at hand, I don't know why the relationship has gone so sour within this few days that I have not reached you. Everything is still as it were and nothing has gone wrong anywhere and you should stop to mention that word scam because we have deligently worked well and have name to proctect.

The General Manager Mr Tony Adams of Standard Trust Bank Plc will be contacting you as he is total incharge of this transaction at this moment. You should let me know that he has contacted you.

I wait for your urgent response.

My regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004
Subject: You've got a lot to explain

Dear Mr Ben,

answer, if you please, why this whole business, from beginning to end, has been filled with incompetent fraudsters trying to get their grubby little hands on Dr Storm's money. Tell me, who else knows of Mr Storm's legacy? The whole criminal contingent in Nigeria, it appears.

I shall wait for Mr Adams with baited breath. You have to do a lot to convince me, Mr Ben, but never let it be said that I would condemn a man without a fair hearing.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004
Subject: thanks.

Dear Dr, Christopher Tennant,

Thanks so much for your mail and your reversal for fair hearing before crucifixion. Honestly, whatever is enduring always looks very tough at the begining but at the end becomes joyful. You really kicked me at the ass for no fault of mine but has since wished that away.

I hope the general manager has reached you if so update me as soon as you have chance to do so.

I look forward to hear from you and sorry once again for that disconnection.

My regards,
Johnson Ben.

At this point I become drunk with my own power. If I told him that the Olympian Gods had come down from upon high singing Frank Sinatra classics, Mr Ben would probably have believed me. So I start laying the groundwork for something I´ve always wanted to do.v
CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

this bank manager of yours, or whoever he is, still hasn't contacted me. Is he not aware of the time pressure? This farrago has been dragging on for far too long to be held up now. Once he contacts me and I am assured of his credentials, this business will indeed be back on course.

I am not happy. I've been going through the accounts and something weird has been happening. Money has disappeared. I seem to be beset by financial difficulties. I shall have to make a full investigation.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2004

Mr Ben,

I haven't heard from the bank manager.
I haven't heard from you.
I am rapidly losing patience. Your choice.
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004
Subject: Right, that's it.

I've had enough. I've been waiting for the 'bank manager' and you to contact me, and neither of you have done so. I shall give the police the go-ahead to set the dogs on you.

I'm told that while they're supposed to bring you to trial, occasionally that's just far too complicated and they use more direct methods instead. I do hope the front door of your hovel isn't expensive to replace; its value will somewhat decrease when it is sledgehammered down.

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004
Subject: It's well.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks a lot, I was waiting to hear from you because the general manager has told me he has contacted you. I was just waiting for update until this very mail. I will reach him now to confirm the message he sent to you.

I want to assure you that there is no cause to loose patience as I will move into action now to see the extent of work he has done on the transaction.

Honestly, I have been down with Malaria and that has really imobilised me but the information I got was that he has sent several messages and none has been responded by you and even waiting to send fax on your response.

Please confirm to me the receipt of the message.

Looking ahead to hear from you.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

the twit obviously has the wrong email address. It's [Tennant's email address]- I mean, how much information does the man need?

I am sorry about your malaria, and for being so testy with you when you have no doubt been rolling around in agony. I trust you've been given quinine? Does wonders.

Anyway, now you're up, please oblige me by getting the bank manager some computing lessons. In a couple of weeks he may be able to send me an email.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

The bank finally contacts me. Mr Adams is very fond of sending all the information via word documents.

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:51:31 -0700
From: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA <CBN_DEPUTYGOVERNOR@mail2Banker.com>
To: Christopher Tennant
Subject: YOUR INHERITANCE APPROVAL

SIR,

KINDLY GO THROUGH THE ATTACHED MESSAGE AND GET BACK TO US IMMEDIATELY.

YOURS IN SERVICE,
MR TONY ADAMS

Attached doc-

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
DEPUTY GOVERNOR'S OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE, LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598080

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
25OCT 04

SIR,

WITH REFERENCE TO YOUR INHERITANCE FILE DULY SUBMITTED TO THIS BANK BY STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC, LEGAL DEPARTMENT, WE ARE SENDING YOU THIS E-MAIL TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU FUNDS HAVE BEEN APPROVED AS WE TRIED SENDING YOU A FAX BUT COULD NOT GO THROUGH.

PAYMENT IS TO BE MADE THROUGH OUR INTERNATIONAL BANK OF SETTLEMENT IN LONDON, SPAIN OR MALAYSIA, MODE OF PAYMENT IS VIA SWIFT, BANK DRAFT OR CAHIERS CHEQUE TO BE COLLECTED UPON YOUR ARRIVAL TO ANY OF THE ABOVE CENTERS.

THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (C.B.N) IS THE COVERING BODY TO ALL COMMERCIAL BANKS IN NIGERIA AND FOREIGN BILLS MUST PASS THROUGH OUR DESK IN OTHER TO SECURE DULY APPROVALS FROM THE APPROPRATE AUTHORITIES, LIKE THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE, FOREIGN EXCHANGE ALLOCATION UNIT.

ALL DOCUMENTS RELEASED TO LATE ENGR.ALLEN STORM WHOM YOU ARE STANDING AS THE NEXT OF KIN ARE HERE WITH US, WE MUST PRECURE VITAL APPROVALS ON YOUR BEHALF WHICH CONFIRMS YOU AS THE SOLE BENEFICIARY OF THE SAID CLAIM OF $16 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY.

CONFIRM TO US YOUR MODE OF ACCEPTANCE VIA THE PAYMENT CENTERS AND METHOD OF PAYMENT, THIS WILL ENABLE US TO FURTHER YOU MORE DETAILS PROCEDURES.

WAITING FOR YOUR UTMOST RESPONSE TO ENABLE US PROCEED.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS
DEPUTY GOVERNOR (CBN)

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004
To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

I am in receipt of your email. I trust we can get this sorted out without further difficulty. You are probably aware that this transaction has been hounded from the first by a load of crooks who want to steal from a children's charity. I am sure you will join with me in deploring the existence of such immoral and, to be frank, incompetent conmen.

Regarding the letter you sent me, I have two questions. First, you mention payment. Of how much, and what for? Second, the letter is not very clear- do I have to come over personally to make the payment? If so, why London, Spain or Malaysia? Why not Lagos? Isn't that where you're based? In any case, if I must travel, I prefer Spain. I need a holiday, and can combine business with pleasure.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

PS- I understand from my colleague that you have tried emailing me for days without success. If your bank cannot spell an email address correctly, I'm not sure I would really want to entrust you with looking after $16 million. I hope you'll prove me wrong.

I decide I want a picture.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004
Subject: Could you do something for me?

Dear Mr Ben,

Mr Adams has now contacted me. He's not very clear about what needs to be done, and to be completely honest I doubt his ability to help us, but I'll give him a go.

It's occurred to me that you could do one thing for me to show you are sincere. I'd like to broaden the base of Anencephalics'R'Us. You could help me. I've mentioned before that I would like the charity to be known internationally, and I've been using contacts in various countries to take pictures of themselves holding up a sign saying Anencephalics'R'Us. We are making a collage to show that the charity is recognised by all nations, that people the world over are helping us on our quest to eradicate this dreadful affliction. So far I have photos from Canada, the USA, the UK, Singapore, France, Spain, Brasil, China, Germany, Australia- the list goes on and on and it's looking really impressive. We'll be using it for advetrising campaigns.

So what I'd like you to do is to have a picture taken of yourself holding up a sign saying 'Anacephalics'R'Us'. Please make the sign large and legible. It's also best if you are dressed in your national costume, but this isn't completely essential. If you do this, it will go a long way to rebuilding trust, since it would show you want to help the charity out.

I'll let you know when the bank manager replies.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004
Subject: WE WILL KEEP YOU POSTED.

Attached doc-

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
DEPUTY GOVERNOr's OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE, LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598080

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
25OCT 04

SIR,

I AM RESPONDING TO YOUR MESSAGE WHICH I JUST REGARDING YOUR OUTSTANDING INHERITANCE CLAIM.

I WILL LIKE TO STATE TO YOU THAT WHY WE HAVE TO PAY THROUGH OUR OFFSHORE PAYING CENTERS IS THAT WE DO NOT EFFECT DIRECT PAYMENT FROM OUR BANK HERE DUE TO THE MUCH MISTRANSFER OF FUNDS INTO WRONG ACCOUNT AND CAUSED BY THE CROOKS WE HAVE AROUND THE GOVERNMENT OFFICES THAT DIVERT PEOPLES MONEY.

WE ARE TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS AND GET BACK TO YOU AS YOU HAVE CHOOSED TO TRAVEL TO SPAIN FOR THE COLLECTION OF YOUR FUNDS WHICH IN YOUR FIRST AND SECOND QUESTION YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE BEEN TOLD ABOUT (CONFIRM TO US YOUR MODE OF ACCEPTANCE VIA THE PAYMENT CENTERS AND METHOD OF PAYMENT, THIS WILL ENABLE US TO FURTHER YOU MORE DETAILS PROCEDURES).

I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT ONCE WE CONCLUDE WITH OUR FINAL AND NECESSARY DOCUMENTATIONS PROCESS, YOU WILL BE DIRECTED TOWARDS TRAVSELING TO SPAIN FOR THE COLLECTION OF YOUR FUNDS. WE WILL KEEP YOU POSTED UPON THE CONCLUSSION OF NECESSARY DOCUMENTATIONS TOWARDS YOUR TRIP TO SPAIN.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS
DEPUTY GOVERNOR (CBN)

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004
To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

thank you for your email. I must admit to feeling concerned about the number of criminals hanging around Nigerian banks. I can believe it quite easily, given my own experiences, but I should hope your security was bang up to scratch. Still, maybe this is for the best.

I shall be paying by cheque. I hope this is acceptable. Please give me the details for my trip to Spain as soon as possible.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004
Subject: YOUR PAYMENT.

Attached doc-

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA DEPUTY GOVERNOr's OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE, LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598080

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
25OCT 04

SIR,

IN REGARDS TO YOUR MESSAGE JUST RECIEVED WITH UTMOST REGARDS, I WILL LIKE TO STATE TO YOU AGIAN THAT WE GET BACK TO YOU WITHIN 24HOURS FROM NOW REGARDING YOUR TRIP TO SPAIN.

WE NEED TO MAKE EVERY NECESSARY ARRANGEMENTS AND PROPER DOCUMENTATIONS BEFORE YOU MAKE THE TRIP WHICH WILL TAKE US ONLY 24HOURS AND WITH CAREFULNESS TO AVIOD ANY ERROR OR MISTAKE.

I WILL GET BACK TO YOU BY TOMORROW WITH NECESSARY INFORMATIONS REGARDING THE TRIP TO SPAIN.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS
DEPUTY GOVERNOR (CBN)

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004

Yet another attached doc-

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
DEPUTY GOVERNOr's OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE, LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598080

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
26OCT 04

SIR,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT EVERY NECESSARY DOCUMENTATIONS HAVE BEEN DULY COMPLETED AND FORWARDED TO SPAIN FOR THE RELEASING OF YOU DRAFT UPON YOUR ARRIVALS.

YOU ARE TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TOWARDS YOU TRIP TO SPAIN ON OVER THE WEEKEND AND CONFIRM TO ME, MEANWHILE, YOU WILL BE CONTACTED BY THE CLEARING HOUSE IN SPAIN TOWARDS THE COLLECTION OF THE DRAFT.

KINDLY GET VISA AND FLIGHT TICKET AND CONFIRM TO ME YOUR DAY OF DEPATURE.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS
DEPUTY GOVERNOR (CBN)

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004
To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

thank you for your email. A few points-

1) as this email shows you, you can actually write in them. It is not necessary for you to write a Word document and then attach it to an email. I sure doing that is as time-consuming for you as it is for me to read them, so I'm sure you'll appreciate this handy tip.

2) Where in Spain do I need to go? Spain is a large country. No matter how large your company is, I am sure it cannot engulf an entire country. Please send me contact details so I can fly to the nearest airport and then travel over to your offices.

3) You keep on mentioning a payment, but nowhere have you said how large the payment should be. Please do so at once so I can sort out the accounts over at my end.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004
Subject: YOUR PAYMENT.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
DEPUTY GOVERNOr's OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE, LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598080

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
26OCT 04

SIR,

I RECIEVED YOUR MESSAGE AND WOULD LIKE TO STATE TO YOU THAT THE PAYMENT WHICH YOU ARE ASKING IS YOUR DRAFT PAYMENT WHICH WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU WORTH $16 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY.

ALSO YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY TO THE OFFICE THE SUM OF 6,800.00EURO AS HANDLING AND SERVICE CHARGE BEFORE THE DRAFT WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU UPON YOUR ARRIVAL IN MADRID-SPAIN WHERE YOU ARE TO GO AND PICKUP YOUR DRAFT PAYMENT.

I WILL LIKE TO KNOW THE CONTACT YOU ASKING OF, PHONE OR E-MAIL CONTACT OF THE OFFICE. I WILL ALSO LIKE TO STATE TO YOU THAT, IT WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY REPRESENTATIVE, YOU MUST BE THERE IN PERSON AS YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT WILL BE USED FOR PROPER INDENTIFICATION PURPOSES BEFORE THE DRAFT WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU. ONCE YOU PICKUP THE DRAFT, YOU ARE TO GO BACK AND PAY IT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT FOR CLEARING OF THE CASH.

KINDLY GET BACK TO ME ONCE YOU RECIEVE THIS MESSAGE.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS
DEPUTY GOVERNOR (CBN)

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004
Subject: i will get back to you tomorrow.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I am still in hospital as am writing to you but hopefully will be discharged tomorrow. I will get to you fine tomorrow.

Thanks and remai blessed.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004

Subject: Thanks.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail. I do not actually understand what you mean by the picture and would like to hear more explanation on that.

I truely beleive Mr Adam will get this fund this time for us as his ability and trust has never been in doubt. What you have to do is to give him your maxium cooperation to get this fund out for us as there lies my only hope now.

Always keep in touch.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

good of you to drop me a line on how you're doing. I am pleased that no hospital superbugs have killed you, and I hope you recover from your experience quickly.

The photograph is very simple, really. I'm doing this for our brochures, our publicity and everything. We're actually going to make an advert for local broadcast in 2005 (which I'm very excited about), but I'm not thinking that far ahead at the present.

I just need a photograph of you holding a sign saying 'Anencephalics'R'Us'. The sign must be clear, so you can read the words, and as I said it would be lovely to get a picture of you in national dress, but this isn't essential. Doing this would go a long way in restoring my faith in you.

I'm convinced that someone's been embezzling money from the clinic. I haven't yet told anyone, but I've got a good idea who it is. The chap isn't very bright. I'm going to have to confront him and sort this all out; I have no compunction about handing him over to the police.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

why haven't I heard from you since Thursday? What are you doing?

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 2 Nov 2004
Subject: I am still down with the scourge.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

Sorry for replying late to your mail it was owing to the fact that I have been on and off the hospital. As you requested I will be sending the pix as soon as am very fit. The malaria of a thing is very devastating and deadly in this side of globe.

Have you been able to reach the general manager?, if so what is the stage now and if not try as you could to do so. I know we are running out of time but whatever that has this kind of delay always have a very sweet end.

I expect to read from you soon.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 2 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering from the dreaded killer. I have a bit of a cold myself.

As for the bank, I don't think we should hurry things while you're clearly unwell. I'll hold off until you're better and I'm in more frequent contact with you.

I'm sure the pictures will look great once you have them done.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 4 Nov 2004

Subject: I am a bit strong now.

Dear Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail and the sympathy you have so far shown during this time of my travails. I have taken the photograph as promised and the photographer promised bringing it to me today, and as soon as it gets to me I will give it to my computer operator to scan and send. Just be assured it will get to you soon.

How is your cold?, hope you are getting well. I beleive you will be okay soon.

I appreciate all your efforts.

Reply soon.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 4 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

my cold is still getting me down, I'm afraid, but I'm glad that you're getting better. I expect you have a lot of work to catch up on. If people like that criminal Mr Mbah are endemic in your country then probably you can't leave important stuff to anyone, for fear they'll muck it up.

So the photo will be coming along after all. Marvellous. Just what we need. My faith in you is rapidly being restored. For my part, I'm still looking into flights to Spain to pick up the consignment. As you can imagine, work is pretty heavy here, so even when I do go I may not be able to spend a lot of time there. Will it take very long to pick it up, do you think?

I'm still uncertain what to do about this embezzlement. Dr Brundle has been siphoning off thousands over the last three years. The Mantle brothers never realised it because they spent most of the time in a drug-induced haze. What do you think? Should I go to the police? I do not want to, because I really don't want to expose the Clinic to any more bad publicity than it already has. It'll make it look like the Clinic is just full of crooks, much like your bank, Mr Rashid's practice and the security company.

But I don't see that I have any choice in the matter. Unless I confront him directly. I would value your advice.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 4 Nov 2004

Subject: See attached Pic.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

As requested I have now been forwarding the picture to further butress my faith and trust in this transaction. You can now use it to better the cause of those down trodden children in the society. I will always be by you to champion this initiative.

I am now banking on you to make the trip and remember that I have suffered to get this transaction this far as per when the fund reaches you.

Looking forward to hear from you soonest.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

I regret to say that the picture is a dreadful disappointment. Extremely blurry and obviously blown up from its original dimensions, while the paper being held up is as white as snow and the words are crystal clear, despite the fuzziness of everything else. They've pretty obviously got the photo from another scambaiter website and altered it.

So, a dilemma. Do I make a fuss or keep quiet? A hard decision, but if I make a fuss, I risk losing them before I can irritate them in Europe. So keeping quiet it is. Or almost quiet.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 4 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

congratulations, my dear fellow. The picture's a little blurry, but astonishingly the words on the paper you are holding up are crystal clear. It's a miracle. And no thanks to the photographer- I've seen more competent pictures drawn by three year olds. It's a disgrace; I'm surprised he's so technologically advanced as to use colour film.

But no matter. The photograph is good enough for my purposes. Just what I needed.

I'll get back to you when I have some more news.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004

Subject: thanks for your compliments.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your compliments. I beleive as you discovered that the photographer ought to be more creative than what we got but all the same the purpose of it you have gotten.

I want to know your preparation towards your trip to Spain as bank is up now to conclude this transaction which has lingered for more than what we expected.

I anticipate your urgent response as I will be looking forward for your contacts with the bank.

I am now stronger than what I was, hope you are equally getting better.

Best regards,

Johnson Ben.

May I just say that I have always wanted to write an scambait email like the next one, and I am grateful to Mr Ben for giving me the opportunity.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

worrying news here again, and it means that I probably can't contact the bank for the moment.

Last night, rather late, I asked Dr Brundle to come into my office. We were the only two people in the clinic. I accused him of the embezzlement. He denied it. He started shouting. I started shouting back (and probably sounded rather slurred- it's not very easy knowing how loud your voice is when you're deaf). The final thing I lip-read was 'I'm not taking orders from a f**king halfwit moron like you' and then I'm afraid I just saw red. I pushed him backwards.

I didn't mean to hurt him, Mr Ben, honestly I didn't. I was just angry. I didn't know that he'd slip backwards and impale himself on the surgical saw I had been polishing. As I saw the tip of it pointing through his stomach I knew I had made a terrible mistake.

He didn't last long, anyway. The eyes glazed over within seconds.

Anyway, obviously I didn't want to be found out. Think of all the publicity. Anencephalics'R'Us would go bust. I had to prevent that happening, not for me, but for thousands of children who depended on our help. I got out a body bag and moved the corpse into it while disinfecting everything the blood had come into contact with. It is fortunate that I work in a doctor's surgery- cleaning materials are very easy to come by here.

The most frightening part was carting the body out. I had to go down fourteen floors without being seen. Carrying a man weighing 80kg down that many flights of stairs is not something I want to do again. I've buried the body in a nearby wood. The body bag has been incinerated and I think I've been able to alter the CCTV footage successfully. Obviously people today have been asking where Dr Brundle could be, and he's not answering his phone. Well, he can't.

As you can imagine, this is preying on my mind rather a lot. Hopefully the fact that I shall be receiving the money soon will help ease my conscience, knowing that it will help many children afflicted with a dreadful disease.

Do you think I'll be found out?

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2004

Subject: Very ugly incident.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

It is a very sad news to hear this occurence. I have been imaging all these while if I were to be in your shoes what could I have done. I honestly appreciate your brevity to have done this alone.

I was in the church yesterday and I prayed over it that nobody should have an inkling regarding this ugly incident. You will truly believe in the efficacy of prayers in some weeks to come as I will never relent in my efforts until the situation is under control.

Truly, I will like you to prepare for the journey so that you will have enough to throw around in this moment of need.

I expect to hearfrom you soon.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

it's been a very trying day. Mrs Brundle has been ringing up every hour to see if her husband's left a message or something to say where he is and why he hasn't come home. Thank God I can't listen to her; the receptionist is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because every time Mrs Brundle rings you can hear the children sobbing in the background.

At this point the only way she'll get a message from her husband is if she consults a clairvoyant. I feel slightly guilty about the whole thing, but it's not as if I meant it. It's just an unfortunate accident. I've told the police that I haven't seen Dr Brundle since he left that night. I'm just concerned that I didn't scrub the floor well enough. And at some stage they're going to ask for the CCTV footage. I hope I've tampered with it well enough. It should show nothing but me working, something that was originally taped about three months ago.

The local newspapers have started reporting this, wondering if it has anything to do with the Mantles. All to the good, I think. I mean, if they concentrate on the Mantles, they won't be concentrating on me.

I won't be able to get away from the clinic until after the weekend. I will tell the bank that I can visit Madrid next Monday- I hope this is early enough? I will give the bank the details.

By the way, you never mentioned whether you agreed with me about re-naming the clinic. As I said, people seem to like Dropasprog Clinic, but I have reservations. Much better, I think, is the Chapman-Cleese Clinic. Dr Chapman-Cleese was one of the founder members of the Clinic, but his career came to a sad end when he was knifed by a rent boy heroin addict in a rather seedy park. Just what the doctor was doing walking his dog in such a notorious area at 2 o'clock in the morning remains a mystery.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2004

To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

I apologise of my delay in getting back to you. Staff over here have been dropping like flies and I've not had a very good week. I'm sure you can understand.

I propose to travel to Madrid on Monday 15th November. Please let me know as soon as possible if this is alright, and the contact details for your Madrid office- contact address, and so forth.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 9 Nov 2004

Subject: thanks for the update.

Dear Dr.Christopher Tennant,

Happy to hear that uptil now there is no traces as par what happened as i countinue to intensify prayers here. You have to be extreme very careful as i know that the security operatives will be miffing every where to get clue of what happened. The cctv footage you have to make sure everything is deleted not to give away anything that will lead to the apprehension of the incident.

I pray for you that you will emerge victorious at the end of this trail. And remember to be very discipline in your communication at this time.

The time to change the name of the clinic is now as not allow the ghosts of the departed to hunt the operation of the hospital. You have to be very creative at this time.

I look forward to hear your trip to Madrid and detail me well enough.

Reply to keep abreast of events there.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 9 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I've had a rather tiring day, what with dodging detectives and shampooing my car seats. So you can imagine that I was most displeased to find out that the bank hasn't got back to me about the Madrid trip.

Here I am, trying to get everything sorted, and yet they delay! You'd think they were trying to hold us up or something.

I'm going to give them a stern talking to, but I'd be most grateful if you could harrass them at your end as well.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 9 Nov 2004

To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

I am most concerned over your silence. I appreciate that you've got a lot on your plate, but please speed up a little. You cannot have gone through a tenth of what I've been through these past few weeks, and I expect some diligence from someone I am paying.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2004

Subject: It is well.

Dear Dr.Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail. I have really got the bank yanked and they will be reaching you any moment from now. The problem was that i was away for sometime due to my ill-health but now that I am up they got to hurry up which they have started.

Please be assured that they will be reaching you any moment from now and do send to me your flight schedule before the trip on monday.

I know the security operatives will definetly conduct comprehensive investigation into the incident but my payers here will offer you a strong shield. Please be mindful of those who comes around you now, they may be coming for the purpose of stumbling into inforamtion.

It is well no point to panic.

I look forward to hear from you.

My best wishes,

Johnson Ben.

I wonder how one yanks a bank. Is it like yanking Mr Ben's chain?

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004

Subject: pls update me as I am very worried.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I am concerned about your disconnection today whether there is any lead to what happened. I will like to know so that I can relax my mind. You know in this type of situation one may not actually know what is going to happen next so we have to be concerned.

I know by now you must have been contacted by the bank, if so please update me. And again you should not disclose your purpose of trip to the embassy if they ask you just tell them you are going for sight seeing.

I am expecting you response soon.

My warmst regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

these morons at the bank have no idea how to treat their customers. I have been waiting for a response and I haven't got one. For God's sake, no wonder Nigeria's economy is down the toilet, considering you hire untrained monkeys to sort out your finances.

I was waiting to hear from them before I bothered you again, but I see that my silence may give you cause for concern. After all, if the police link me with Dr Brundle, there'll be hell to pay. I was questioned solidly for two hours today, but I could see that they were bluffing. They haven't got a leg to stand on. And they're going totally in the wrong direction. Last thing I heard they arrested Mrs Brundle on suspicion of kidnapping. The children have been packed off to old Widow Twanky, their grandmother.

Please give the bank a well-deserved shove. We can't afford to lose this amount of time.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

... and then ...

MRS. ANNA LOPEZ, "SANTANDER TRUST"

Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 06:59:40 -0500
From: Santander Trust <santandertrust@madrid.com>
To: Christopher Tennant
Subject: PROCEDURES FO CLAIM !

ATTN: DR. CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

SIR

RE: CONFIRMATION FO THE SUM OF $16,000,000.00 (SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLARS ONLY)

WE WRITE TO INFORM YOU THAT WE RECIVED INSTRUCTIONS FROM NIGERIA LUQIUFIED GAS (NLG) REGARDING THE ABOVE SUM IN FAVOUR.

ALSO YOU ARE TO RECONFIRM TO US YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS, TEL/FAX NUMBERS AND FAX TO THIS OFFICE A COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT PHOTO PAGE FOR IDENTIFICATION PURPOSE. ALTERNATIVELY IF YOU WHISH TO COME DWON TO MADRID-SPAIN FOR THE SIGNING AND RELEASE OF YOUR FUND, YOU ARE TO BRING THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS BELOW;

1) YOU ARE TO BRING ALONG TWO RECENT PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH OF YOUR HUMBLE SELF
2) A COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT PHOTO PAGE FOR IDENTIFICATION PURPOSE
3) A COPY OF THE DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE OF THE FUND
4) FINALLY YOUR ARE TO BRING ALONG THE SUM OF €8,500,000.00 (EIGHT THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED EUROS ONLY) CASH FOR ADMINISTRATIVE/HANDLING CHARGES .

PLEASE ALSO FIND THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT OF THIS MAIL.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION

YOURS FAITHFULLY
FOR : SANTANDER TRUST BANK
MRS. ANNA LOPEZ

A document was attached to this email saying basically the same thing. It had a nice logo on it. Even more nicely, it contained an address for a real street in Madrid. This will later turn out to be a mistake.
JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004
Subject: Pls confirm.

Dear Dr Christopher Tennant,

I really got them talked to and they assured that you were contacted yesterday probably after you have written. Please reconfirm and get back to me so that I can know how to do the pushing.

It is normal that everybody around must be questioned but be assured nothing will come out of it because all the heavenly hosts are shielding you from an possible breach.

Please do well to reach me soon to know how far you are preparing for your trip and the flight schedule as requested.

I eargerly await for your response.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I've got something from some organisation called the Santander Trust. Who are these people? Is this the bank? Why have they changed their name? Why did they delay so long in getting back to me? Why do they want a copy of my passport? What on Earth for? Won't they be able to see it when I go over there? Why did they mention the fund coming from Nigeria Luqiufied Gas (sic)? What is NLG?

This is all very sloppy. Why don't they explain themselves?

Mrs Brundle has now been charged with kidnapping. I think the kids will be taken into care if she's convicted.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004
Subject: urgent.

Dear Christopher Tennant,

I got your mail with thanks, the NLG was to remove people's eyes from the fund not an issue to debate upon everything is right. The demand of your international passport was for indentification on your arrival which is normal and am very sure you will demand such from me on my visit to Canada.

You should endeavour to do everything within your reach to make sure there is no problem. I will trust you comply at the last leg of thos transaction.

I wonder why they should hold Mrs Brundle,has she be found having knowledge of the husband's whereabout? Well, I know it will be so for prayers am offering here.

Do not forget to send to me your flight schedule when you are ready for the trip.

I remain yours,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

well, if they want to see my passport, I will bring it to them when I arrive in Spain. I'm not sending a copy over the web, for various reasons. First, I am very wary about identity theft (you'd think a group of bankers would be more knowledgeable about this). Secondly, it's contrary to standard Canadian business practice, and the laws over here. So they can check my passport upon my arrival.

There's no chance for me to head over to Spain on Monday now, so I'm going to have to rearrange everything.

As for Mrs Brundle, I'm not quite sure what's going on. The police think she knows where her husband is. She doesn't, of course. They're barking up the wrong tree. But I'm not about to say anything.

I shall write to the bankers and confirm everything. I'll contact you when I have more information.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004

To: Santander Trust

Dear Mrs Lopez,

thank you for your email. I am pleased that everything is running smoothly, but I recommend you fire the guy who does your translations from Spanish into English. Trying to work out what that document was saying made my head hurt.

You ask for some information about my personal details. The address is Anencephalics'R'Us, The Mantle Clinic, 838/2 Cronenberg Road, Southampton, Ontario, M5G 2J3, Canada. A telephone number probably won't be any good, since I'm deaf. However, my textphone number is +1 555-808-7302. Could you contact me on that?

You also ask for a copy of my passport. I am afraid that I cannot give you that information over the internet. I am very aware of the amount of identity fraud that goes on, and I trust you can understand my retinence. I shall of course bring my passport with me when I reach Spain.

I notice that the document you attached to your email contains the bank's address. I am coming over to Madrid on Thursday, and I shall visit the bank at 13.00. I trust you find this acceptable. I shall bring the fees of 8500 euros with me, and not the 8500000 euros that you incorrectly state.

Please confirm all this as soon as possible so I can finalise travel arrangements.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004
Subject: How was the weekend?

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

How are you today?, hope all is well with you. My thanks to you is endless for being with me all through this peroid even when my strenght fails me that is when I was sick. This is more reason why I have to demostrate my unalloyed support at this trying period. I know it is well,just believe you will never be called upon to give any evidence on issue at stake.

You have to do this for me as demanded before the flight schedule to confirm the authencity of this trip and be able to get the update. As soon as you get the full details from the bank please do well to reach me.

I exepect your response as soon as possible.

My regards,

Johnson Ben.

MRS. ANNA LOPEZ, "SANTANDER TRUST"

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004
Subject: FROM SANTANDER TRUST !

ATTN :Dr Christopher Tennant

Sir,

Thanks for your mail response. Please would like you to send to us your flight schedule before thursday so that we can mak hotel reservation for you and also send our protocol officer to convey you from the airport to the hotel there after to our office fo the signing and release of your fund to you.

Awaiting your response in this regards

Yours Faithfully
For: SANTANDER TRUST BANK
Mrs. Anna Lopez

It would be very tempting to fall in with this and have them wait for a couple of hours at the airport, but there's a good way to irritate them further. Remember that address they so helpfully provided?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004
To: Santander Trust

Dear Mrs Lopez,

thank you very much for your email. I am pleased to hear that Thursday will be acceptable to you and that you have dropped your demand for my passport.

It is very kind of you to offer to find me a hotel reservation, but please do not put yourself to any trouble. I have found my own accommodation.

I would prefer to make my own way to my hotel and then visit your company afterwards. Automatically conducting business after a flight lasting ten hours would be a little heavy on the system; I am not used to jetsetting around the world like I expect most bankers are. I will go to my hotel and freshen up, and then make my way to your offices at 13.00.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

everything is sorted. I shall be visiting their offices on Thursday. Their customer service, by the way, appears to be excellent; they've offered to make me hotel reservations and to chauffeur me around the place. But I hardly want to put them to that sort of trouble, so I've made my own arrangements.

Hopefully this'll all come to an end by the end of this week. I can't wait!

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail and the understanding you have so far shown. There is a pertinent issue which I have mentioned previously which either by commission or omission you have not acknowledged, that is the issue of flight schedule, to me is very important.

I would want you to act on that so that I can monitor events from our own ends here.

Hoping to hear from you soonest. How far about the matter? Has Mrs Brundle been granted on bail?, probably for want of evidence. You should never on any circumstances cave in from your stand. Be wary of those who comes around you now as I did mention to you before they may be spies.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I haven't provided the flight schedule? How remiss of me. Well, it's quite simple. On early Wednesday afternoon I set off from Toronto. I believe I have to change flights in New York, but it shouldn't take too long. Then I get into Madrid some time around lunchtime on Thursday, I believe. That should give me the entire afternoon to complete the transaction, and Santander Bank haven't objected to it.

The time of the journey is shorter than it looks, because of all the time zones I'm flying through.

The police are mainly investigating Dr Brundle's office now. That's fine by me; nothing happened there, after all. Mrs Brundle hasn't been released on bail because they're afraid that if she's released she'll try to flee Canada. I don't know how she'd manage with all those children, but the Canadian police were quite insistent about it. I believe she's currently sharing her cell with a suspected arsonist. The police claim the evidence against her is rather strong- there have been arguments and life insurance policies mentioned. Well, it's her own silly fault, in my opinion. If she hadn't acted like she did her husband's disappearance wouldn't seem so suspicious.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2004
Subject: thanks for the update.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I will countinue to offer my gratitude for keeping me informed on the latest development. I wish you all the best in your trip and hope you will get to me as soon as you move.

I am of the opinion that from what you said, Mrs Brundle may have questions to answer concerning the whereabout of her husband. But the issue now is, what will be the fate of the children? That may be answered in some couple of weeks.

I hope to hear from you.

My best regards,

Johnson Ben.

Thursday comes. Tennant goes to Spain. Naturally, he fails to find any bank staff.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004
To: Santander Trust
Subject: Where are you?

Dear Mrs Lopez,

alright, I give up. I've been walking around for hours trying to find the bank, and I can't do it. I am most dreadfully sorry for the inconvenience, and it was very lucky I wasn't mugged with all the cash I have on me.

I've got an idea, if I can float it past you. Could you give me directions? Or send someone to meet me? Perhaps we could complete the business at the hotel.

The address is Aparthotel International, Luis Cabrera 37, Madrid, 28002. The room number is 23. I'd be most grateful if you could email me about this as soon as possible.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I am concerned with this bank. I can't find the damn thing, and nobody replies to my emails.

That said, the hotel bar is excellent. I'm hoping we can finish this tomorrow; I'm leaving on Saturday.

Any idea of what's going on?

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

Mr Ben finally shows the first signs of irritation. Could it at last be starting to trickle through his skull that the good doctor doesn't actually exist?

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004
Subject: Try to be serious and sincere with us.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I do not really understand you in this regard because you cannot be going to meet some partners and not be able to disclose your itinerary. You ought to send to them as I requested previously your flight schedule and other things for identification; this is business transaction which supposes to be carried out in utmost good expressing trust from both parties.

I do not want to be taken for ride if you are going be sure enough to send the flight schedule and other things as requested. The business demands that you will be received from the airport on a chauffer driven to a hotel where they made reservation for you. Since it is not easy for you to make phone calls how will they know that you have arrived.

You must find alternative means to get to them or email them right away at least to know that you are around. It seems you are not trying to be open because I told you earlier on to sent to them your International Passport and your flight schedule for your personal identification and your have not done that that means you are not sincere with us. And again how do you think somebody whom you have not met before will know you on arrival are they wizards?????????

Without any further delay I will appreciate if you change the manner of approach for better result for the success of this transaction.

Hoping to hear from you soonest.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

I am surprised by your email, for various reasons-

1) I'm already in Spain. Why do I need to send them my flight itinerary? Isn't it redundant now?

2) I am not going to send a copy of my passport over the internet. Nobody of any practical sense would. My government officially advises people in my position not to. However, I am quite prepared to present such information for identification purposes when I meet with the bank.

3) The business demands I be picked up from the airport? That makes no sense. If they can collect me from the airport, they can equally pick me up from the hotel. Since it makes absolutely no difference where they pick me up from, I cannot see why they would insist upon it.

4) I have already sent them an email saying I have arrived! It even contained my hotel address. They haven't replied, showing shoddy customer service.

Now, stop whining that I'M making things difficult, and tell that security company to send a guy over here sharpish. The address is Aparthotel International, Luis Cabrera 37, Madrid, 28002. The room number is 23. They already know this, but on the off-chance that they're bigger imbeciles than I think I'm giving it again.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

what is going on? Why haven't I heard from you?

If you lot continue to maintain your silence, I might as well just pack it all in and spend my time sightseeing.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 11:36:05 -0500
Subject: TREAT AS URGENT.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
DEPUTY GOVERNOR'S OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE,
LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598980

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
19TH NOV 04

SIR,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE RECIEVED INFORMATIONS FROM OUR PAYING OFFICE IN MADRID-SPAIN THAT YOU WERE MENT TO BE IN MADRID YESTERDAY BEEN THURSDAY THE 18/11/04.

IT WAS SAID THAT YOU CONFIRMED TO THEM THAT YOU WERE IN MADRID AND GAVE THEM A HOTEL NAME AND ROOM NUMBER TO REACH YOU WHICH WAS DONE AND YOU WERE NOT FOUND IN THE HOTEL, THE HOTEL MANAGEMENT CONFIRMED TO THEM THAT THERE IS NO ROOM NUMBER AS YOU HAVE GIVEN TO THEM AND NO NAME THAT HAS BEEN TO THE HOTEL.

I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE NO CHARITY HOMES NIETHER ARE WE PERSONAL WORKERS BUT WORK UNDER THE GOVERMENT THAT GIVES THE RULES TO FOLLOW. SHOULD YOU NOT BE IN MARID, KINDLY GET THERE IMMEDIATELY AND INFORM THEM AND GIVE THEM TO CORRECT ROOM NUMBER.

YOU ARE ALSO ADVICED TO GIVE THEM THE HOTEL NUMBER TO CALL AND CONFIRM UPON YOUR ARRIVAL IN MADRID ALSO ASK THE HOTEL RECEPIONIST TO CALL THEIR NUMBER FOR YOU. KINDLY SO IMMEDIATELY AND SIGN THE RELEASE ORDER BOND DOCUMENT FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASING OF YOUR CONTRACT FUNDS TO YOU.

YOUR PROMPT ATTENDING TO THIS MESSAGE WILL BE HIGHLY APPECIATED.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS
DEPUTY GOVERNOR (CBN

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004
Subject: You are economical with truth.

Dear Dr.Christopher Tennant,

It is a pity that all my life I try as much as possible to be open to people but it seems is not appreciated by many. I delayed in responding to your mail to make sure I got my facts very well and I did succeed. The information reaching me is that they have checked the hotel as you purportedly claimed you have checked in and there is no such name except perhaps you entered with a different name. Thus: Aparthotel International, Luis Cabrera 37, Madrid, 28002. The room number is 23.

I do not know why you must be playing with me despite my avowed interest in your well being, I like men who are courageous if you are not interested in a thing be bold to say it out we could still be friends without this business. I think I have been taken to ride for so long, I demanded your flight schedule you declined, how am sure you went any where. I can no longer be deceived but if you are sure of yourself kindly attach to me your flight schedule or Air ticket to know at least you made the trip. I can no longer believe you without seen the requested documents.

If you are there I know they must have picked you as they are coming often to check you the truth must be told.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

The last sentence implies that they've been sending people to the hotel more than once. I wonder what the hotel receptionist thought.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004
To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I have spent practically the entire day in my hotel. I have seen nobody. I have heard nothing. Are you sure your officials went to the right hotel? Had the right room number? Hell, did they even correctly remember my name?

I am exceedingly irritated with the incompetence that has been shown here. I have a suitcase full of funds and nobody to give it to. And I need to go back on Saturday afternoon as well.

Here's your final chance before I go back to Canada. Your men had better meet me outside the hotel's front entrance at 11am tomorrow morning. I shall be wearing a dark blue suit, carrying a large grey fabric suitcase and a smaller black leather one. Maybe we can end this farce before my flight leaves.

I am now going out to explore the nightlife and get to know the beauties of Spain a little better. Rarely have I been in such need of relaxation.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

calm yourself, my dear fellow. How can I send you my flight documents? I don't have a scanner here in the hotel. Neither would I do something so odd as check in to the hotel under an assumed name. I'm trying to make this as simple as possible for the baboons from the bank, but they stubbornly refuse to use the brains God gave them.

I am just as interested in this business as you are, I assure you. But if you were here with me you'd be able to see how I'm the one with the real grievances. I came all the way from Canada. I do not want this to be a wasted journey.

It would be a pity for you to have wasted over three months on this. I have told the bank that I shall meet their officials outside the hotel at 11am tomorrow. If the morons are incapable of doing something so simple, I shall simply have to go home. But once I am home, we will try to get the money over to you some other way.

Do not give up hope. Soon you shall see just how trustworthy I am.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004
Subject: Pls see to the success.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I got your mail and was quiet relieved of the tension this whole thing is trying to cause me. Honestly, I took you very dear to my heart apart that were are involved in a business.

As you have communicated with them try as much as possible to offer your corporation as the fund is no longer with us here but with them over there.And whatever transpired you try as much as possible to update me.

I appreciate your efforts.

Regards,
Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004
Subject: I've had it up to here with the security company

Dear Mr Ben,

I have just got back to Canada. Those absolute bastards from the bank left me waiting outside my hotel for three bloody hours and I almost missed my flight. The whole trip has been wasted, and I'm seriously thinking of suing them.

Where do we go from here? How can I get this money to you? I'm at my wits' end.

Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004
To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

your entire company is riddled with incompetence and I wouldn't trust you to look after a boiling kettle, let alone a transaction of this size. I have wasted about half a week going needlessly to Spain, and the turnips you employ have all the common sense of squashed hedgehogs.

You will be hearing from me again about the compensation you owe me for the wasted trip.

Dr Christopher Tennant

TONY ADAMS, "CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA"

Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004
Subject: URGENT REPLY NEEDED.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
DEPUTY GOVERNOR's OFFICE
P.M.B.1168, TINUBU SQUARE, LAGOS
TEL: 234-1-7904007, FAX: 234-1-7598980

ATTN: DR CHRISTOPHER TENNANT
22TH NOV 04

SIR,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR WORDS OF INSULT TO ME AND MY WORKERS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE IN ANY FORM, YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN TO SPAIN AND HAVE GIVEN THEM A WRONG ADDRESS OR HOTEL.

BELOW IS THE HOTEL INFORMATIONS AND YOUR FULL MESSAGE YOU SENT TO THEM AS THEY FORWARDED IT TO ME FOR MY VIEWING.

Dear Mrs Lopez,
alright, I give up. I've been walking around for hours trying to find the bank, and I can't do it. I am most dreadfully sorry for the inconvenience, and it was very lucky I wasn't mugged with all the cash I have on me.
I've got an idea, if I can float it past you. Could you give me directions? Or send someone to meet me? Perhaps we could complete the business at the hotel.
The address is Aparthotel International, Luis Cabrera 37, Madrid, 28002. The room number is 23. I'd be most grateful if you could email me about this as soon as possible.
Yours,
Dr Christopher Tennant

KINDLY CONFIRM THIS TO ME AND I WILL MAKE ANOTHER OPTION OF HAVING YOU SIGN YOUR RELEASE ORER BOND DOCUMENT. MEANWHILE I MUST APOLOGISE TO YOU FOR YOUR DELAY. I HAVE BEEN HANDLING MUCH LARGER PAYMENTS THAN YOURS AND HAVE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEM WITH OUR CONTRACTORS.

PLEASE DO SEE THIS AS A DELAY WHICH WILL BE CORRECTED IMMEDIATELY AND YOU RECIEVE YOUR PAYMENT. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE RETURNED TO CANADA OR YOU ARE STILL IN MADRID AND CONFIRM YOUR FLIGTH TICKETS TO ME VIA ATTACHMENT THROUGH MAIL FOR MY VIEWING.

YOURS IN SERVICE,

MR TONY ADAMS.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004
To: CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA

Dear Mr Adams,

I am in no mood to apologise for your staff's incompetence, especially considering your laughable attempt to pin the blame on me. I did not give a wrong address. I was in that room, in that hotel. Did anyone come to meet me? No, they did not. Did anyone come to my hotel on Saturday? No, they did not.

I am really not interested in how well you treat your other customers with larger transactions. Your other customers are not me.

I am now back in Canada. I refuse to make another fruitless visit to Europe without recompense. I will be consulting with my lawyers later this week to see what compensation the bank can pay me for my wasted time.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004
Subject: You are welcome back.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

Thanks for your mail. You are welcome back from the aborted trip.

My friend, you need not blame anybody because at the first instance, you were are asked to send your flight schedule and your international passport so that it will be easierfor them to come and pick you up. Courtesy, demands that as a business partener they ought to know your intinary and give you the necessary comfort within the period of your stay.

The fact remains that you did not trust me despite my whole heart ion you. It cost you nothing to have provided the information as requested to show proof of your honesty in the whole transaction.

What I have to do now is to apply for recalling of the fund back to bank's suspense account in two or three days time it will be here. I would have advised you to travel to london but because of this ugly situation experienced in Madrid, I now move to ask direct transfer of the fund. You have to indicate your willingness to receive it direct but the cost of transfer must be paid by you.

If this suits you, what you to do now is to send your banking details immediately for action to commence. The bank has to cost the transfer charges and let you as soon as you provide the information.

I await your urgent response.

Regards,

Johnson ben.

Unbelievable. They can't be trying again, can they?

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004
Subject: I have no reason to apologise

Dear Mr Ben,

to be perfectly honest, I am very surprised that you should charge me with lack of trust. At your suggestion, we used Mr Rashid as our lawyer, and Mr Mbah almost swam off with my money. At your suggestion, I tried sending money to you, and Mr Chidi almost swam off with my money. At your suggestion, I arranged to meet up with a security company, and Mr Clement almost swam off with my money.

At this point, you should be astonished that I trust you at all, not that I don't trust you enough.

Besides which, I really don't see what my flight schedule mattered. WHY do they need it? To put me up in a hotel? I've already got one. To give me a chauffeur? I don't need that. As long as they have my address - which I gave them - why does it matter WHERE I meet them?

What is this new method of transfer you describe? Your comments are unclear. I shall need to know more to see where I stand.

By the way, the trial for Mrs Brundle is in a week. I believe the police are now searching for Dr Brundle's body. So long as they don't search the woods I should be safe.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

why haven't I heard from you? We need to sort this out as rapidly as possible. I'd hate to think that all the hard work we've put into this over the last three months has been fruitless.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Thu, 25 Nov 2004
Subject: Let's just end this now

Dear Mr Ben,

I am increasingly concerned by your silence. Have you been struck down by malaria again? Try some quinine, my dear chap. Works wonders. Of course, I can well believe that your nervous system has given in to stress. All those fruitless trips to the Western Union office, for example, followed by promises that the police were onto your close associates. Mr Clement made an abortive trip over to Canada and the bank officials in Madrid searched and searched in vain for me. Very unfortunate. Meanwhile, I really couldn't blame you if you think my life has been too hectic lately, what with the attempted murders, manslaughters and storms that have been cropping up. To be honest, I thought you'd give up much more easily. I have to hand it to you, you have the quality of persistence. If not much else.

Perhaps you unreasonably blame me for what has gone on. But you're the one who started this, my dear fellow. It was your idea from the outset. It would be rather uncharitable to heap all the blame onto me, but then I wouldn't really put it past you, considering the way you've been acting recently.

That said, I really think it best if I invest Dr Storm's money elsewhere. Somewhere far away from 419 fraudsters, and somewhere that means I don't have to carry it all over Europe. I'm sure you'll understand.

Don't fret so much. You may find someone else who'll be more helpful than me. But from what I've seen, I'd be surprised if that someone is even capable of reading an email in the first place.

Still, it was nice doing business with you.

Yours,

Dr Christopher Tennant

Right, that's about as blatant an admission you could get without an outright confession. But for some reason it still isn't quite enough.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004
Subject: The ball is in your court.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

I was on to something that's why I did not reply to your mails. I was seriously accusing this people for not given you the reception as it ought to be even nearly missed your flight. To my greatest surprise the response i got was something that nearly got me on the other side of the divide , that from the date you said you entered madrid no such name appeared in all the manifest of flights that entered that day and the other. It was serious problem we made with them before they come up with this revelation.

As I said before in my previous mail, if you are still interested to conclude this transaction you should provide your bank details to enable the bank to carry on wire transfer. The transfer charges will be paid by you as the bank will cost the amount.

I am not very happy over the revelation i got from this people in spain but I have to hand everything to God who knows everything.

Till I read from you.

Regards,

Johnson Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

how nice to hear from you. I must admit that your opening paragraph is not overly clear, but from what I can understand from it, the bank is now saying that my name doesn't turn up in the flight registers.

My dear chap, they don't know what flight I was on. How do they know which flight register to check? Did they check them all for that day? Isn't that a bit of a waste of time, am I really that important?

They're obviously lying. Or incompetent.

Who do I need to give my bank details to? You? The bank? Whom?

Regards,

Dr Christopher Tennant

Mr Ben has now had enough. He now knows that Tennant isn't going to give him any money - but he still can't grasp the fact that Tennant doesn't exist.

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004

Subject: very urgent.

Dear Dr. Christopher Tennant,

It is most astonishing that you could describe the whole thing as a mere deceit but mind you you requested for photograph bearing A', I did not hestitate to send it to you. From the onset of this transaction, I did explain so much that this transaction is a deal that is known but a few and you consented to have it done. You allowed me to waste my money and time in an endless conversation, I will now show you it is not only you that have monopoly of wickedness.

I have prepared my ground to get you reported to Canadian police for murder charges involving Dr Brundle, which the wife is suffering for offence she know nothing about. The placed you buried him which is in the wood would be pointed out to homocide detectives, and how you tampered with the cctv which could have given them lead in their investigation as well as the object that killed him. All the facts about you concerning your misdeeds, in the mantle clinic are well documented and will be shown to you shortly.

You are the person that made me to sack my secretary, Mr Mbah for mere allegation and setting Mr Clement up and accusing Barrister Abdul Rashid and chidi for nothing. All the suffering these people are passing today I will make sure there is no hiding place for you.

While I was giving you this fore knowledge is to know your reasons for debasing me this way by 419 appendage despite my open mindedness to you. Since I read your mail, i did not sleep because I was very busy compiling my facts about you which is now ready to be tendered to the authorities. I will leave no stone unturn in this matter untill justice is obtained in Dr Brundle' case. The address and location of Mantle clinic and the floor it is operating is well known so if you think you can escape judgement you better think twice.

The only remedy in this situation is an apology and all the expenses I incured in the cause of this transaction you must be ready to pay me back. I am very ready to face any authorities to defend myself if you think it is a mere joke.

If I fail to hear from you soonest it translates I can go ahead to do anything I feel. I am still restraining my anger because of how I related to you as a good friend not knowing you are somehing else and if you fail to respond to this mail within 48 hours and to my satisfaction there will be no hold barred. You ridiculed me before the eyes of the right thinking members of the public, a reputation that took me enough time to build.

Until I hear from you.

Ben.

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004

Dear Mr Ben,

from whence comes this threatening email? Do you not believe that I have been working endlessly to succeed in this business?

I care very deeply for my charity, Mr Ben. I would not willingly go off on a wild goose chase for money that doesn't exist. We've spent three months on this; would I really spend all that time on it if it were a joke?

So I am rather surprised that you should threaten me in this way. And what do you have? A bunch of emails. A bunch of emails that could have been forged. That's not evidence. Precisely where in the woods did I bury the body? What tapes have been altered? You know nothing, Mr Ben.

On the other hand, the police know about Mbah and Chidi, and Clement as well. They have rather stronger evidence. Tell me, if you, who consort with such criminals, suddenly say that I'm guilty of murder, who in their right mind would believe you?

I can't believe that you'd be doing this without being in league with them, by the way. You obviously are a 419 scammer after all. Most disappointing, considering the money I spent on that trip to Madrid. But I'm confident that the authorities will catch up with you.

Go ahead. Report me to the authorities. They will laugh at you. And then arrest you for attempting to defraud a medical charity.

Dr Christopher Tennant

JOHNSON BEN

Date: Wed, 1 Dec 2004

Hello Dr Tennant,

I have made good my threat your name is now with Interpol as well as canadian police wether they act on it or not it is their business, I have done what I suppose to do. If you think you can escape the judgement of men you cannot escape the judgement of God.

You are a pathological lier and it will not be long you will be hunt down. As you have the got to call me scammer ,how am sure you are not involved in grand child sales which I have set every of my machinery to investigate.

ben.

We have finally, after all this time, come to an end. After sending this to Mr Ben, I heard nothing more

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Date: Wed, 1 Dec 2004

Mr Ben,

ooooo, I'm quivering in my boots. Thank you for the next salvo of your illiterate and equally ill-informed correspondence. But before I go, since you have shown so little sense through this entire exchange, I present a poem. Dedicated to you.

Some time ago, last August in fact,
Many email inboxes came under attack
With tales of riches. It all sounded fine,
But all involved the numbers four, one and nine.
Sending these letters from an internet café
Was Mr Ben, who was a bit daffy.
He honestly thought people would fall for his ploy
And didn't care in the slightest about the lives he'd destroy.
He wanted them ruined, he'd drain their accounts
While enriching his by enormous amounts
Or rather his boss's. He was merely a cog,
A lowly amoeba in the criminal bog.
He had no talent for his calling at all;
His intelligence quotient was amazingly small,
His prose was inept, in a laughable style.
It's a wonder he thought he'd make a financial pile.
He got through to a doctor whom he thought fell for his trick,
But this was, of course, because he was so stupidly thick.
The man Dr Tennant, the dead doctor's legacy,
The Mantles, the storms, the CCTV,
The Brundles, the crimes, the Monetary Act
Were all stuff of legend, not rooted in fact.
They were all made up for this wonderful game-
But to be fair, Mr Ben did do the same.
No, there was no money to be found on either side.
In simpler language, both parties lied.
The difference was, one side did it for fun.
Mr Ben just wanted to defraud someone.
A far nastier motive, and a mind
More cruel and immoral you couldn't easily find.
But even in this sphere he was peculiarly dense,
Since anyone with a modicum of sense
Would have known long ago Dr Tennant was fake.
This award-winning idiocy truly takes the cake.
Attempted murder? Manslaughter? Trips to Spain?
Western Union visits again and again?
All without some sign, note or document
Showing Tennant's words were sincerely meant?
And over three months! Mr Ben tried a con,
But he was the one who was being led on.
And far away, on the other end,
Waiting for the next idiocy this moron would send,
Sat a scambaiter savouring every plot twist,
Knowing the scammer's hopes would soon disappear like the mist.
But a scambaiter alone, watching this scambust proceeding?
Oh no, Mr Ben, I'm not the only one reading.
Our little exchange - please control your rage -
Has been sent to be a popular public webpage!
There are many such sites; read them and find
In what total derision we hold you and your kind.
The curtain is falling, the lights now go out,
But is there time for one more illiterate shout?
Come onto the stage and take a deep bow!
But don't fool yourself; the game's over now.

Thanks for the memories. Remember to keep yours as well- they're all you'll be allowed in your jail cell.

Dr Christopher Tennant

scamorama
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