updated july 2 2006

Poems and doggerel from the finest minds. Ongoing. More welcome.

Dear Shyster:

Let me try to decipher the "message"
Contained in this latest junk mail.
You're a "lawyer" you claim in this garbage,
With a burden of great entail.

Some died and left you the "duty"
Of finding "heirs to a large estate".
Now, Wonder of Wonders! This booty
Is ready to land on my plate.

You expect a "percentage" from me to "inherit"
What's supposedly "mine" from the start.
Add "modalities", "papers"; you swear it
Is all part of the "rules of the Court".

Boy, this tired old scam is so rotten
It stinks to the end of the earth.
And you're just one Lad among many
Trying to swindle with nothing of worth.

You must think that I am a mugu,
And "thick as two planks" as well,
To fall for such rancid old doo-doo.
So: Why don't you just go to hell?
-- The Headshrinker
Somebody left me
Trunk boxes full of money?
Too good to be true...
-- The Postmaster
Your whole tale is simply fictitious;
Bringing no one any real riches.
Your letter's just spam
For a 419 scam.
You deserve a swift kick in the britches.
-- The Headshrinker
O tempora! O mores! Oh! Bullshit!
You mugus just don't seem to get it.
Your "Lottery" a scam;
Your letter's just spam.
Dry up! Blow away! And forget it!
-- The Headshrinker
Your production is terribly funny.
You're not going to get any money.
In your "bank", no account.
Not in any amount!
I'm not nearly that much of a dummy.
-- The Headshrinker
You don't even know my (First Name).
Yet you offer me "riches and fame"?
What a cheapskate spam
For your 419 scam!
You don't even belong in the game.
-- The Headshrinker
The "trunk box" tale is too old;
And much too often retold
To justify spam
For your 419 scam;
Which leaves me totally cold.
-- The Headshrinker