GO WITH GOD BUZZ BUZZ

A delightful piece from the Annals of the Church of the Blessed Beehive.

Not sure how this goes but I'm detailing below the correspondence with a little scamp who contacted me at the end of October.

MISS RUTH - scammer
ADAMA WILLIAMS - "her" "barrister"
versus
REVEREND BOB


MISS RUTH

From: "Ruth Rusanganwa" <ruth11@freemail.et>
Subject: Dearest,
Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 13:27:09 -0300

Dearest,

PLEASE CONTACT IN IN THIS MAIL BOX.... miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au It is a pleasure to introduce to you a business that will make the beginning of never-ending family relationship.

I hope that this proposal will not be an inconvenience or embarrassment to you. I must not hesitate to confide in you this simple and sincere request business for our mutual benefit.

I am Miss. Ruth Rusanganwa the only daughter, of late Mr. Steve Rusanganwa, a Tutsi in Republic of Rwanda.I am 23 years of age. My father was a prosperous coffee and tin ore merchant in Kigali, capital of the Republic of Rwanda before his untimely death. After his business trip to Abidjan - Cote d'Ivoire, to negotiate on a Coffee and tin ore business he wanted to invest in Abidjan ? Cote d'Ivoire.

A week after he came back from Abidjan, he was attacked with my mother by unknown assassins suspected to be Hutsis who believed that my father has been given financial support to Tutsi Militia Rebels.

My mother died instantly but my father died after five days in a private hospital on that faithful afternoon.

I didn't know that my father was going to leave me after I had lost my mother.

By the grace of God, I was aided by a business partner of my father through our church pastor in Kigali to escape to Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire. But before my father gave up the ghost, it was as if he knew he was going to die. He, my father, may his soul rest in peace,disclosed to me that he deposited the sum of US$12,500,000.00 (Twelve Million, five hundred thousand United States Dollars Only) in cash concealed in a trunk box and deposits it with a security company here in Abidjan which he declare and register it as family valuables.

Because of political problems here, my late later signed an agreement that the consignment should only be released to a foreign trustee of my choice.

So I want you to please assist me stand as my nominated foreign trustee and claim the box from the security company. That money was meant for the importation of machineries for his coffee processing plant for a company which he wanted to establish in Abidjan ? Cote
d'Ivoire. Unfortunately he did not live to achieve it before he was gunned down. But since I have no experience or interest in this type of business he advised me to seek a reliable and trust worthy business partner who will assist me to secure and transfer this funds abroad
strictly for investment purposes and for guidance. He advised me never to live in Africa before his death. Now I am soliciting for your assistance to help me to secure and transfer this fund to your account, holding on my behalf and aid me to leave Africa. When I join you, we can then invest jointly in any meaningful lucrative business in your country because this is my only hope in life. You shall be entitled to a significant portion of the fund which will be deliberated upon your acceptance to this offer. Waiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the modalities of this transaction. Please kindly contact me on using the above email address immediately for more discussion.
Thanks for your kind attention and expected positive response
Yours sincerely,
Miss. Ruth Rusanganwa PLEASE CONTACT IN IN THIS MAIL
BOX....miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au


REVEREND BOB

30-October-2004

Dear Miss Rusanganwa,

I think your message has been sent to me in error. Your felicitation 'Dearest' would indicate that perhaps we knew each other at some time in a biblical sense.

Are you in need of help and assistance. As a tax-registered preacher in the state of Texas I can pray for you and the spiritual guidance received is treated as a full tax deductible on Form IRS25E(98/.4). I imagine you know that anyway.

I will lead the congregation to sing praises for you this Sunday at the Church of the Blessed Beehive.

Go with God

Reverend Bob


MISS RUTH

31-October-2004

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Sunday, October 31, 2004 8:57 AM
Subject : Dearest

Attachment : RUTHAGRE.jpg (0.21 MB), RUTHDEPOT.jpg (0.14 MB)

Reverend Bob

Please before that i want to be 100% sure that you can help me in this.please i will like to have all your infromtion,so that i will no that you can help me.

thanks.

Ruth


REVEREND BOB

1-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

We prayed for you at church yesterday and our prayers were answered when you replied. My sermon was based around the text 'The Lord helps those who help themselves', something I'm sure you would agree with.

I would like to help you but I don't understand what you mean by all my information. I was not able to open the two pictures that you sent me. I will try again later.

Should I keep this a secret for the moment? As Pastor of the Church of the Blessed Beehive I am used to the secrets of the confessional unless it's something like our local storekeeper Bill Mortensen's attempts at animal husbandry. Disgusting.

Do you have a religion at all? I would feel much happier if I was going to help a fellow believer.

Go with God

Reverend Bob


Dates here don't seem to tally but I received the e-mail apparently the day before it was sent! Allowing for timezones Australia does seem a more likely residence for our little scamp than Cote d'Ivoire.

Two photos provided of a young lady!!


MISS RUTH

2-November-2004

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Tuesday, November 2, 2004 4:38 AM
Subject : THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL..

Dear Reverend Bob

Thanks for your quckly respone to my,How are you today hope all is fine.

Reverend thanks for you prayer and the help you promise to me,i belive that the good GOD will payed you back.

For the mail i sant to you,about you information,i want to know who you are.

1.Your country
2.Your home address
3.Your phon/fax number
4.Your full name.

To be sure and to know whom you are,i send to you again the paper wchich the securcrty company give to my late father for you to be sure before will contron and also my picture for you to know whom i am.

Please i will like you to keep it secret for the moment and for your qucsion i am a member of freedmon chapal chruch,i belive in GOD,Please did your chruch belive in GOD too.

I am wanting to hear from you

Ruth


REVEREND BOB

1-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

I'm not sure whether my last message got through to you. We don't have electricity here but we do have a generator that works of the methane piped in from the pig farm behind the church.

I've only managed to get one of the photo's to open. Are the other photos too revealing? I know that these computers nowadays have protection against private photos being shown.

You ask me where I live and I can tell you that I live in the greatest state in the greatest country on the whole world. I'm sure that you know that can only mean the great state of Texas in the US of A.

I'm not sure why you want to have my address but it helps here it is.
Church of the Blessed Beehive
1436 Uppanatemm Drive Little Pecker

Texas 25689 USA When I became a convert of the church I was reborn as 'Reverend Bob' and that name has been registered at the State Register in Houston if you need to check. The baptism ceremony was shown on CNN so you may have seen it. I tell you, being immersed in a font full of finest honey may be a heavenly experience but takes forever to wash it away afterward. Goodness, it gets into every nook and cranny.

As I said we don't have proper electricity so there's no phone at the moment but we've been writing to the phone company and they say they can get round to it come Fall.

I mentioned that we had been praying for you and we even had a moment of silent vigil at our fundraising Tractor Pull on Sunday. We raised a goodly sum in the name of the Lord and particularly with the Poke-a-Pig contest although Bubba Wilkins had to be restrained after he got a mite too enthusiastic with one little sow. That boy's going to come to trouble if you ask me.

I'll certainly keep this matter a secret though I do wonder why, is the Lord's work you are doing?

I'm glad that you're a believer and I can confirm that I too believe in God as well. In our church we pray to God the Honey Bee and know that the bible is a parable of life in the hive. The disciples for instance are simply the worker bees in attendance around the great creator. Honey is God's gift to us all and one for which we are all thankful. I've got some photos if you'd like to see them of the congregation.

I do have one question. Do you partake of alcoholic beverages? I only ask because I'm worried that the glass you're holding in the photo may contain the devil's brew.

I look forward to helping you and rest assured we are praying for your soul.

Go with God, buzz buzz

Reverend Bob


REVEREND BOB

1-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

Sorry about that, you see that's what happens when the generator gives us problems and turns itself off. Had to have one of the boys go outside and give those old pigs a hollerin'.

Anyways I was asking you about strong liquor. I do hope that you don't partake of the stuff and you can explain what was in your glass.

I look forward to your reply and we will all be praying for your soul.

Go with God, or as we say in our closing prayers buzz buzz

Reverend Bob


MISS RUTH

2-November-2004

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Tuesday, November 2, 2004 4:38 AM
Subject : THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL..

Dear Reverend Bob

Thanks for you mail and i am so happy to have man that know GOD like you.

Reverend please i will like you to come to Cote D'Ivoire so that we can go to the seconty company to claim the box.please can you come, all did you know somebody who can help us.i will like you to respone to my mail before will go to the next starg.

wating for you mail,GOD bless you.

Ruth


REVEREND BOB

3-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

Apologies for the delay in responding but sadly one of my congregation has passed on to the great beehive in the sky. Poor Nora Eversholt was dressed up to take part in our November Fantasy Fundraiser and on her way to the church was shot and killed by a couple of hunters who mistook her for a wild turkey. A tragic but easy mistake to make, I'm attaching a photo of her in her costume that was taken by her husband just before she stepped out of the house. if you've ever seen a Texas wild turkey I'm sure you'll know what I mean. She's resting easy now. I hope that you'll say a few kind words in her memory when you're next in church.

I've never travelled outside of Texas before so what you're suggesting is a real adventure. How would I get to where you live. Where exactly is Cote d'Ivoire? Sounds a mite foreign, is it in New Mexico. Can I take the train or should I drive. If you give me directions I could leave some time next week as long as I'm back for our Sunday 11am service at the Church of the Blessed Beehive.

I did ask you a couple of questions in my last letter which you haven't answered. Now it may not seem much to you but the evils of the demon drink must be addressed. Was that an alcoholic beverage were holding in that photograph? I'm praying for your soul even as I write. A young girl like you should keep herself pure and not fall victim to the ways of the unworldly.

By the way our Fantasy Fundraiser went exceptionally well and we raised just over $5,500. We're now looking at ways in which we can spend the money for the benefit of poor folks and those in need. If you know of anyone in need that might appreciate a little help do let me have details.

Go with God, buzz buzz

Reverend Bob

. Photo of Nora Entwhistle


MISS RUTH

4-November-2004

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Thursday, November 4, 2004 8:13 AM
Subject : THANKS

Dear Reverend

Plaese i want to know you to help me.

RUTH


REVEREND BOB

4-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

I thought I had made it clear that I'm happy to help if I can but I do need to know what you want. You've asked if I can come to see you but I don't know where you are. Cote d'Ivoire - where is that? Sounds like it might be French so are you in Louisiana? Lots of French sounding places over that way.

I've given you all the details you've asked for and you haven't answered any of my questions. I'm beginning to think you're just having a joke with me. It's that time of year, Halloween and all, so I'm used to kids playing pranks but what with poor Nora getting all shot up I'm not feeling like laughing at the moment.

How about you answer my questions to show that you're genuine?

I have to go now and write my sermon for the Sunday service. The theme this week is going to be based on Timothy 6:18 "Rich in good works". We'll also be consecrating our new baptismal font and soda fountain and rebirthing a new convert so we're guaranteed a full congregation.

I want you to know I will continue to pray for you and I'm attaching a photograph of me in my consecration robes just so that you know I care.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob

Photo of Reverend Bob in robes
MISS RUTH

5-November-2004

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Friday, November 5, 2004 5:55 AM
Subject : CONTACT THE LAWYER

Dear Reverend Bob

Thanks and good day,please sorry for not anwers your question,i don't take any till accohlice,i am not of it.
uncle i have been speaking to my pastor about this matter, so after speaking with him he direct me to one of our church member who is a lawyer too, i told him every thing but i did not tell him that the box consignment contians money. I also told him about you, that you are guardian and our former business partner to my later father, that we a business that both of us intent to go into and we need him to draft an agreement for us so that we will both have confidence in each other.
Uncle he agreed and requested that i bring all the deposit certificate so that he will study it, it was after going through the documents that he requested he want to speak with you before preparing the agreement, he said he has alot to advise both of us.
Uncle this is lawyer's information's, Name: Barrister Adama Bagudu Williams,
Tel: 22507489459 Email: a.bwilliams@lawyer.com
Please uncle call or mail the lawyer as soon as you receive this mail so that after speaking with him, he will start preparing the agreement.
please get back to us urgently,
Your daugther Ruth.


REVEREND BOB

5-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

Thank you for your letter. Are you sure you don't drink alcohol? I only ask because your letter is full of spelling mistakes and is a sure sign of drinking. Perhaps one of your friends gave you an alcoholic beverage without you knowing? Did you feel any unusual sensations when you were writing your letter, tingly fingers or double vision for example. I am concerned about you child.

Are you sure you can trust this lawyer? My experience is that lawyers do very little and cost a lot of money. Are you going to pay him out of your share?

We had a lawyer in our congregation just last year, Billy Rae Cornpone by name, and I wouldn't trust him to put a shine on my shoes without stealing the laces. I know that's not the kind of language you expect from a reverend but after he was seen hightailing it out of town we realised that our Sunday collection had gone with him.

Please tell me more about your lawyer, how old is he, is he a married man, how long have you known him and what do the initials A B stand for. Could you send me a photo of him, I believe that I can tell a lot by the way a man dresses and how he holds himself.

I have to go now and see the Partridge family who have been struck down by a serious illness after they ate the blue plate special at Aunt Jean's Dingo Diner and Lounge. I may have to conduct a colonic irrigation to save them so please say a prayer for all of us.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob


MISS RUTH

6-November-2004

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Saturday, November 6, 2004 4:41 AM
Subject : CONTACT THE LAWYER

Dear Reverend Bob

How are you,hope fine,in your mail i want to tell you that i am a christan i don't take any thing alcohol, trust me for that,and again you said that i should send a picture of the lawyer is not i that is going to send the picture to you, when you contact him you can ask for his id card.Please i want you to know that this is war hear if you want to help me will use to do this urgunt we don't use to wast time that was the resine why i send to you my picture and the order deconments for you to be sure, and for the lawyer, belive that the lawyer have not requst any money in his work,please i am going to give you 25% of this money for any experser 5% Please i need your help,my condicion is to bad,listing to bbc you will know what is happine hear.

Please becouse of the war hear i will like us to use this lawyer,please for the lawyer age when he will send his id to you will see his age.i trust him and his a chirstan.he is a marrige man with childern.

And i am fasting and payer to you.

Go with God buzz buzz
Wating for you mail,his a nica day

Ruth


REVEREND BOB

7-November-2004

Dear Miss Ruth,

I'm afraid that I've had a very difficult day. The afternoon service was disturbed by an attack on our shrine hives by a Horned Basilisk. Do you have them in your part of the country? They destroyed two of the shrines before being driven off by Sister Deevine and Brother Lee Love who risked their lives for our Sacred Queen.

I was so sorry to hear that you're living in a war zone. I really had no idea. I don't listen to the BBC as it's under the control of the ungodly. I do however tune in regularly to the Turner Network and CNN but have heard or seen nothing of your little war. I imagine it's because you don't have any oil in your country.

If there's anything I can send that may help please let me know. I have some pop tarts in the cupboard if you want and I found a jar of arnica cream in the bathroom cabinet. A friend of mine swears by it, very good for bruises she says but whether it works for bullet wounds I don't know.

Tell me some more about yourself so that I can understand what you are going through. Has the war restricted your movements at all? My old granny used to swear by prune juice.

You'll be glad to hear that I have written to your lawyer. Should I get a lawyer as well or will your man be trustworthy? You know how I feel about lawyers.

Go with God buzz buzz

Reverend Bob


REVEREND BOB

7-November-2004

Dear Mr Williams,

I have been asked to contact you by Miss Ruth, a young lady in dire need of assistance.

I should make it clear that I don't trust lawyers and I will need you to convince me that you are a man that can do the job properly. Miss Ruth tells me that you are a believer and that at least is a step in the right direction.

Please tell me about yourself so that I can judge for myself. I can tell a lot from a man by the way he holds himself. Please send me a photograph so that I can see what kind of man you are. There's no need to hold yourself in the photo. I don't approve of that kind of thing.

Do you drink?

Go with God buzz buzz
. Reverend Bob


ADAMA WILLIAMS

From : <a.bwilliams@lawyer.com>
Sent : Sunday, November 7, 2004 3:22

Subject : Re: Miss Ruth

Thank you for contacting
Equity Chambers C.I
Your mail have been received
we will get back to you as soon as we can.
Incase you mail requires urgent response pls call
Barrister A.B.Williams on + 22507489459.
(Chambers Principal Attorney )


REVEREND BOB

7-November-2004

Dear Mr Williams,

I have received a response to my letter that seems to be the written equivalent of an answerphone message.

I am both surprised and disappointed that on a matter of this importance you are not in the office to respond personally. What is Equity Chambers CI?? How many people in your office are reading my letter.

Unless you respond in a suitable manner I will have to report to Miss Ruth that you are unable to offer the right kind of assistance.

Meanwhile I will pray for you that the Supreme Queen will show you the way.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob


REVEREND BOB

9-November-2004

Dearest daughter Ruth,

I haven't heard from you since I last wrote. Are you OK, I hope that you have not been caught up in the war you mentioned. I still don't hear anything on the news but perhaps President Bush will send some Marines to help restore peace. At the moment they're all busy in Iraq restoring peace to some place called Fallujah. Maybe they could freed up after that.

There's been no word from your lawyer and that seems to confirm my worst fears about such people. I'll bet you he'll do nothing and then send you a bill for thousands of dollars. Perhaps if you're in contact with him you could order him to respond. Your future depends on him cooperating with us and so far he's done nothing.

You don't think perhaps he's been killed or injured do you?

We'll pray for him at our mid-week Hive Meeting.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob


MISS RUTH

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Wednesday, November 10, 2004 10:24 AM

Subject : PEYER FOR ME

Dear Reverend Bob

How are you today hope all is fine if so thanks be to GOD.Sorry for my late to your mail,is becouse of the war in this country as i tell you befor,Uncle i will like you to lasting cnn in ivory cost you will know wtat i am telling you. Uncle i am so happy when i hear that you have contact the lawyer,have you hear from him,i know ther is know moverment now may be in two to three day things can be bitte.

Please uncle call him,and please payer for me there becouse my conidition is bad hear ande i will like you to advice me in next to do,becouse i don't know any thing about trestion.

Note;becouse of the war in the country i will like you to do it urgent. wating for your mail,God bless you.

Go with God buzz buzz

RuthI


REVEREND BOB

11-November-2004

Dearest daughter Ruth,

I had no idea of the terrible times through which you are suffering. Would you please send me another photograph so that I can keep it in my mind when I pray. I still haven't seen anything on CNN so perhaps things aren't as bad as they appear. On the other hand your spelling is getting worse but I suppose that may be down to the shockwaves caused by the shellfire and explosions. For myself I jump a mile when someone sneezes, not sure what I'd do of someone fired a gun, probably need a change of vestments at the very least.

I haven't heard from your lawyer and I can't call him because I have no phone, I thought I told you that earlier and I'm sure you told your lawyer. Maybe he's not that clever? Do you really trust him? Why can't we do this business on our own, forget the lawyer and share the 5% expense money between the two of us?

Why can't you just tell me what needs to be done and I'll do it.

I've been thinking about this and I remember an old friend called Cyrus P Sinkwhistle who said that you should "never twain the mix on yonder cussop". I can recall at the time laughing and saying 'Never a truer word has been said.' Now is the time to take the advice. Do you agree?

I have typed out below our Most Sacred Song (buzz buzz) and it would make me very happy if you could sing it out loud whenever you have a few minutes. It will protect and shield you from evil and if you are a true believer something will happen to you when you sing verse three. Tell me what happens and then I'll know that you are of the true faith.

Oh, what a wonderful thing to be,
A healthy grown up busy busy bee;
Whiling away all the passing hours
Pinching all the pollen from the cauliflowers.
I'd like to be a busy little bee,
Being as busy as a bee can be.
Flying around the garden brightest ever seen,
Taking back the honey to the dear old queen.

(Chorus): Bz bz bz bz, honey bee, honey bee,
Bz if you like but don't sting me,
Bz bz bz bz, honey bee, honey bee,
Buzz if you like, but don't sting me!

Oh, what a wonderful thing to be,
A healthy grown up busy busy bee.
Toying with the tulips, tasting every type,
Building up the honey-comb that looks like tripe.
I'd like to be a busy little bee,
Being just as busy as a bee can be,
Flying all around in the wild hedgerows,
Stinging all the cows upon the parson's nose!

Oh, what a wonderful thing to be,
A healthy grown up busy busy bee,
Visiting the picnics quite a little tease,
Raising little lumps on the maiden's knees.
I'd like to be a busy little bee
Being with the butterfly strong upon the wing.
Whooppee! O death, where is thy sting?

(Chorus): Bz bz bz bz, honey bee, honey bee,
Bz if you like but don't sting me,
Bz bz bz bz, honey bee, honey bee,
Buzz if you like, but don't sting me!

Oh, what a wonderful thing to be,
A nice obedient busy busy bee,
To be a good bee one must contrive,
For bees in a beehive must behive.
But maybe I wouldn't be a bee,
Bees are allright when alive you see,
But when bees die you really should see 'em
Pinned on a card in a dirty museum.

Bz bz bz bz, honey bee, honey bee,
Bz if you like but don't sting me,
Bz bz bz bz, honey bee, honey bee,
Bz if you like but if you sting me I'll wack ye
With this dirty great newspaper!

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive

MISS RUTH

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Thursday, November 11, 2004 7:32 AM
Subject : IN GOOD FAITH

Attachment : ruthphoto.jpg (0.03 MB)

Another photo of 'Ruth' in prom gear!

Dear Reverend Bob

Thanks for you mail and all your effect,the good GOD will bless you. Uncle i call the lawyer,he said that immdertly he rach his office he will responed to you mail,uncle that for the song will give to me i will lean it after that i will give you the anwers.Please uncle i want to come to you country so that i will be a full member of your church,please try so i can come before the end of this month.

For the lawyer is becouse of the condition of this country he his not respond to your mail,since today there is movement,things is geting batter.
Don't forget to tell me if you hear from the lawyer.
wating for your mail,his a nice day and GOD bless you

Go with God buzz buzz

Ruth


REVEREND BOB

12-November-2004

Dear Daughter Ruth,

I'm sorry that I didn't contact you sooner. Had some problems with the power supply. As you know we run most all our things on the methane gas produced from the pig farm next door and sometimes there's not enough of the sticky stuff to go round. Especially as Bubbles McClusky (our choir leader) bought that big vibrating, water bed. Boy!! That thing just sucks up the power. There's a few that say Bubbles does the same thing but I wouldn't know about that.

It was so nice to see you in the photo. I hope you don't mind me saying but I'm not too sure that what you're wearing is suitable for a war zone. A blue and white patterned dress doesn't seem all that wise. Maybe you should check out your local Walmart for something in green stripes? On the other hand there was a mention on CNN of fighting in Ivory Coast - is that the same as Cote d'Ivoire? Must say it seemed pretty quiet from the film that was shown, I've seen more trouble at Hickory Hal's Midnite Snackery on a Friday night.

I'm so happy to know that you'll be a member of the Church of the Blessed Beehive
but I must know what happened to you when you sang the third verse of our Most Sacred Song. This will prove to me that you are worthy. I so want to help you and I know that you will be welcomed into the true faith. So don't hold back tell me the vision that came to you!!

I have seen an e-mail from this lawyer so will write him straight back. I still don't see why we need to have a lawyer. I assume that I will get 50% of the money and you will pay his expenses locally?

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive

ADAMA WILLIAMS

From : Adama Williams <a.bwilliams@lawyer.com>
Sent : Thursday, November 11, 2004 11:53 AM

Subject : From Equity Chambers CI

Dear Mr. Reverend Bob,
This is to acknowledge receipt of your mail with thanks. We hope you are ok. Sorry our response to your mail is coming behind schedule, it is due to the political problems going on here our offices where closed down.
However, the contents of your mail have been noted.
I want to let you know that we are very pleased to be associated with you and we promised that we will discharge our duties proffessionally in whatever capacity our services are needed.
To this effect, we do have two kinds of services we render here in our chambers
1.Retarnership services. 2 Contract services.
please feel free to indicate what kind of services would you want to undertake on your behalf.
Let us know urgently, to enable us send you a power of attorney which you must sign and send back before we can commence any of your chosen service.
You are also free to call me directly on this number for further discussions on this matter. call me + 22 507 489 459.
Thank you,
Yours in service,
Barrister A.B Williams.


REVEREND BOB

12-November-2004

Dear Barrister Williams,
At last you have replied. We all have to work under difficult circumstances these days and I hope that you will be able to concentrate on the matter in hand and not be distracted by a little local unpleasantness.
Miss Ruth has advised me that you are her legal advisor and I assume that your fees will be paid by her and not me or the Church of the Blessed Beehive
. I like to know who I'm dealing with and you haven't introduced yourself properly. I can tell a lot from a man by looking at him so please send a photo of yourself so that I can see your eyes. I am also attaching a photo of myself so that you can form your own opinion.
Are you a believer? Do you have a family? Which law school did you attend? Do you have the right kind of experience to handle delicate matters? These questions are important so please do me the kindness of answering them. I have no idea what you mean by 'Retarnership services' and 'Contract services'. Sounds like you're going to tie me up in legal jargon and then charge me hundreds of dollars. Please explain yourself.
As a show of my good faith in the matter please e-mail me the power of attorney and I will send it straight back. I hope you have been told by Miss Ruth that we do not have phone lines here in Little Pecker

although Ma Bell says that we should have some in the late Fall.
I shall pray for you and your family.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob Church of the Blessed Beehive
Photo of Reverend Bob
MISS RUTH

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Saturday, November 13, 2004 9:07 AM
Subject : IN GOOD FAITH

Uncle Reverend Bob
Thanks for you good mail to me,GOD bless you.
Uncle please tell the lawyer to start perpering the document;so that before months end i will be with you in your country.
The fighting you hear in ccn in ivory coast(cote d'Ivory)is what i tell you,i will like you to do your best so that i will live hear before month end.and for the 50% i expect that,but i will like to live hear this month please uncle.

Go with God buzz buzz
Ruth


REVEREND BOB

13-November-2004

Dear Daughter Ruth,

It's good to hear from you and to hear that you're well despite wearing a dress that must draw sniper fire like bees to a hive. This is surely a sign that our prayers to the Sacred Queen have been answered. I know that you will have been singing the Most Sacred Song as well and this is also protecting you from harm. However before I can do anything else you must let me know what happened when you sang the third verse. It is only once I can read your description of the vision that I can truly fulfil this mission and take you to a place of safety. I have written to your lawyer but have not had a reply. Seems to me that he's falling asleep on the job, perhaps we should find another lawyer? I use either Hugh Pugh or Barney McGrew of Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb whenever I have a legal problem.

Last time was when Henry Streeb-Greebling fell into the soakaway pit at the pig farm He sued the Church of the Blessed Beehive and I had Hugh Pugh defend us. The case was thrown out mainly because poor old Henry smelled so bad that the Judge couldn't keep himself from gagging. If you've ever fallen into a soakaway pit at a pig farm you'll know what I mean.

Don't forget now, you've to let me know what was in your vision after singing verse three of the Most Sacred Song and get your lawyer to write me back without delay. If I'm to get you over here by the end of the month there's a lot to do.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive
Little Pecker


MISS RUTH

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Monday, November 15, 200412:37
Subject : : IN GOOD FAITH

Dear Reverend Bob

THANKS FOR YOU MAIL?HOW ARE YOU TODAY?HOPE FINE.

U NCLE AFTER RAEDING THE SING IS LIKE ALL MY BODY IS SHAKING AND IS LIKE SOMETHING ENTING MY BODY.v
UNCLE HAVE YOU HEAR FROM THE LAWYER.

INFROM ME IF YOU HEAR FROM HIM.

THANKS

RUTH


REVEREND BOB

16-November-2004

Dear Daughter Ruth,

I am sorry that I haven't been able to write you sooner than today but we had problems with our power again. I tell you it's not easy living without electricity, no light, no air-conditioning or chilled drinks. Do you have a way of keeping cool in the heat?

I was so glad to hear that you have accepted the word of the Sacred Queen and seen the light and splendour of the word. BUZZ BUZZ and praise the comb. It's a sure sign of the true faith that your body shakes all over when taken over by the Holy Rapture. However I'm not so sure when you say it was 'like something entering your body'. It could be of course that you one of the Chosen Drones but more like you were a victim of some other bodily action.

Do you remember I told you about Nora Entwhistle? She was the congregation member who was killed when hunters mistook her for a Texas Wild Turkey. When Nora adopted the true faith she used to sing the Most Sacred Song each night before she fell asleep. On one evening the last thing she remembered was her body shaking and. like you, said she felt something entering her body.

Unfortunately it wasn't the Sacred Spirit but her lodger who had returned home drunk and tried to take advantage of her when she was in the Holy Rapture. She never rented a room again after that experience and who can blame her. For a long time afterwards she used to blush like a ripe peach whenever she saw a saveloy. My how we all laughed!

I haven't heard anything from your lawyer and really do feel that he's not up to the job. I hope you haven't paid him any money because he's not worth it. Shall I speak to a lawyer over here? You must let me know what is best because I can't help you unless you get your man to perform. Does he perform adequately for you?

I'm going to be quite busy in the next week or two as we celebrate our Bee Bonding Festival. Lots of family fun with wax and honey!! Would you like to donate a $1 to go to the Orphan Grub Fund? A really good cause that's raised tens of thousands of dollars over the years. We haven't got round to spending any of the money yet but as soon as we find a deserving cause you can be sure we'll dig deep.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bobv Church of the Blessed Beehive
Little Pecker


MISS RUTH

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Wednesday, November 17, 2004 4:17
Subject : CONTACT OF THE SECURITY COMPANY

Dear Reverend Bob

Thanks for your mail and GOD will bless for all your effcat.
Uncle as you have not hear from the lawyer i will like you to cantact the security company immdertry i ask then how can this box to get to your country,please i want to live hear and come to your country.
This is the informations of the security company. always direct them directly to this company.
Viga Assistance Security Coy
Tel: 22507489459
Fax: 225 22 43 4006
Email: vigaassisttancesecoy@africamail.com
Contact Person: CHIEF BOA MAMADOU/CEO

Please if you hear from then don't forget to let me know.

Wating to hear from you.
Thanks and GOD bless you
Ruth


REVEREND BOB

21-November 2004

Dear Daughter Ruth,

I am delighted that you have taken my advice and got rid of your lawyer, a completely useless waste of space if you don't mind me saying so.
Now who is this Chief Boa Mamadou? The big cheese of the security company according to your e-mail. I hope that he is more efficient than Barrister A B Williams may the Sacred Queen enrobe him in a shroud of wax!
I will get in touch with Viga Assistance Security Coy today and let's hope that we can speedily bring this matter to an end. I am preparing for your arrival at the Church of the Blessed Beehive by having a special cocoon prepared in your honour. For the Pupation Ceremony (at which time you will be absorbed into the Church) you will have of course have to wear a special gown to honour the Sacred Queen and the Drone Council.
Could you please let me have your measurements so that I can get our tailor Dan de Lion to get started.
I also need one last photograph from you for the Initiation Council. This will be for Hive ID card, our guard drones can get very aggressive if you're not wearing your robes and Hive ID at all times.
Please send me a photo of you holding a sign measuring not less than 20cms x 15cms with the words 'BUZZ BUZZ BEEHIVE' written clearly in black ink. Once we have that I can send you back your HIVE ID which can also be used in lieu of a Visa when entering the state of Texas.
Don't delay. The sooner we get all these little points sorted out the sooner we can get the money and you to Texas.

Go with God. Buzz Buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive
Little Pecker


REVEREND BOB

21-November-2004

Dear Chief,

Good day to your Sire, I hope you are hale and hearty. May I call you Chief or should it be Your Excellency or Your Highness. Do let me know, I haven't met a real chief since I was in Kansas City two years ago and they beat the Cowboys 24-10.

If I may introduce myself I am Reverend Bob, Primal Archbishop and Sedentary Juvenal (Third Class) of the Church of the Blessed Beehive here in Little Pecker, Texas USA. My adopted daughter Ruth Rusanganwa has asked me to help her recover some personal effects that have been stored with your company. I believe the items to be secured in a sealed box.

Are you a man of faith? I can only work with those who are true believers and much can be told from a man's eyes. Please send me your photo that I may place it on the Altar of Plenty and seek Divine Guidance from the Sacred Queen and her Drone Dirigible.

This week is National Bee Week. I am attaching a photo for you to print and place on your desk, it will bring you luck and bring me a dollar which is the price of the photo.

Go with God. Buzz Buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive
Little Pecker

'have you hugged a bee today?' sticker


MISS RUTH

From : ruth ruth <miss_ruth2001@yahoo.com.au>
Sent : Monday, November 22, 2004 4:18 AM
Subject : i will send my photo if i hear from you

Dear Reverend Bob

How are you today?Hope God is in control.

I am so happy this moning when i reseverd you mail,and understand it,is too good,but uncle i have a problem in the hotel which i and setting,the hotel directory tell me to live there ,becouse of 160$ which i suposed to pay for my fee,meanwhile i have no money to pay then,the tell me to live there,uncle this is a problem to me,i don't have money to pay,please uncle your my only hope,i will like you to send the money to me so i can pay the fee,You can send it throug westing union and again i will like you to help me for some money to take care of my self,becouse i have no money to take the picture and the passport which i will send to you,plesae becouse of God try your best to do something to me immdertry you recive this mail,so that i can take the photo to send it to you,uncle don't fail to help becouse your my only hope.

And please contact the company so that i can come to your country i you promise before end of this month,remerble this month remains 8day,pls try your best.
Thanks, for all your effcet,God will pay you back,infect i so happy to have somebody like you.

God bless you uncle
Ruth


REVEREND BOB

23-November-2004

Dear Daughter Ruth,

I am happy that you are happy and believe me God is indeed control through his Sacred Queen at the Church of the Blessed Beehive
. May the Blessings of a Thousand Pollen Sacs be bestowed on your Sacroiliac. I think you misunderstood my last message. I need a photo and your measurements so that Dan de Lion, our tailor, can make your robes for the presentation to the Initiation Council. Unless I get the information I can't help you to come to Texas and live life amongst the hives.
I also need to let you know that your Chief Boa Mamadou has not been in contact. Are you sure he has not escaped with the trunk box? Should you perhaps contact the police or the French Foreign Legion? If you need a contact I can get you the number of my neighbors second cousin who is serving with the Legion - a Monsieur Beau Geste. I'm sure he can help. He's very good with camels so he may be able to give you a ride to airport when you leave.
You keep telling me that I will be contacted but your friends all seem very unreliable. First your Barrister A B Williams and now this Chief Executive of the security company. You must be very careful of who you speak to. A rich young lady like yourself could easily fall prey to charlatans, rapscallions and vagabonds.
I was very surprised to read that you were staying in a Hotel. This sounds as though you are living a good life. The community of the Blessed Beehive live simple lives and do not have time for luxury. Who is this person that is demanding money from you. Do you want me to write to him? Maybe you can offer him something else?
Don't disappoint Dan de Lion, he's waiting with his needle and thread poised to make you a beautiful robe and our document maker, Miss Depoint, is all ready to send you an ID card.
Take care daughter. The Supreme Queen is watching you.
v Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive
Little Pecker


REVEREND BOB

23-November-2004

Dear Mamadou, I am really surprised that you have failed to respond to my previous message. What kind of company are you operating here. I had been led to believe that you were the Chief Executive of a professional security company but your lack of courtesy and efficiency leads me to believe otherwise.
We have business to conduct and whether you're in a war zone or not I expect you to get out of your bunker for long enough to get the job done. As my old Pappy used to say 'You'll never see a grunion sleeping when the spurlocks are in filch.' You would be wise to take heed of that advice Sir.
I expect to hear from you by return otherwise I will report to Miss Ruth Rusanganwa that you have failed to measure up to her expectations.

Go with God buzz buzz
Reverend Bob
Church of the Blessed Beehive
Little Pecker


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