The world record for scamming a Lad goes to this Kindly Contributor,
mastermind of The Pierpont Project. In this adventure - Dr. KaFool
& the Alluvial Gold
- he actually gets a Lad to send him a 5-gram sample
of gold.

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour makes Pierpont an offer he can't refuse. 

Subject: Discount sales of gold.
Date: Mon, 30 Sep 2002 06:06:09 +0100

TEL: nnn-nn-nnnnnn.









Usually these offers are scams inside of scams. 
Pierpont accepts the offer, even though he is a bit confused by it 

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, 

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to reply. Your original email 
was sent to my business account. I was on a moose hunting trip to central 
Iowa and of course there was no way for me check my email from that wilderness. 
I am pleased to say I bagged several of the viscous beasts with the loss of 
only two of my bearers (the moose hide quite effectively in the corn fields 
and pounce upon one with bared fangs). 

From reading your message I'm convinced this is a matter which requires
confidentiality, credulousness, and much sneaking about. Therefore I am 
replying to you from a more private email account. I ask that all future 
communcations be sent to me here. 

Of course I am interested in your business proposal. I confess to being 
a bit confused about some of the details. If I understand correctly, you 
are short selling by 20% me a supply of alluvial gold (and you get 5% of 
the total amount of the discount for your efforts). However, I am expected 
to handle the incidental charges which may arise. Do you have an idea what 
those charges might end up totalling? Further, we are to meet in Ghana to 
sign the agreement, and you will then fly the 500kg of alluvial gold to 
the destination of my choice where I will assume ownership. What arrangements 
are made to insure the alluvial gold does in fact get delivered after I pay 
the original charges? Please, I will need these details as to how to procede 
from this point to the ultimate looting of my bank accounts. 

Yours in Peace & Fertility,
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Dr. KaFool can't be seriously putting forth a $175,000 fee this early in the scam? 

Dear Emanuel Weaver, 

Thanks for your response and interest on our proposal, However I think 
you got every thing correct on your mail. 

We are offering 20% off the L.M.E and the payment will be after refinery / 
reaching your destination. 

Official export charges is $17,500USD per 50kg, as approved by the government. 
total export charges for 500kgs is $175,000USD. This is approved by the (P.M.M.C)
 Precious Mineral marketing Company. 

The product will be insured by an insurance company with other legal documents 
which will back it up to ensure safe delivery. 

Call me on 233 27 587908 for more details, And also let me have your private phone 
and fax numbers to make communication easy. Pls, let me know when you will arrive 
to Ghana to avoid any delay. Awaiting your urgent response and accept our equall
 services to all. 

Sincerely yours, Ebenezer Kuffour. 

Pierpont does some financial calculations and hints at some 
future wheeling and dealing. 

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, 

I'm so happy to hear from you. I trust you and your family had a pleasant 
weekend and are in good health. By the way, it is a small detail, but Emanuel 
is my middle name, Pierpont is my given name. I was named after my dear father's 
(and may his brain-dead body rest in peace) father and a famous series of movies. 

I am pleased that we are on the same page when it comes to the details of the
 transaction. I feel it is of upmost importance for all parties involved in 
an "ipso facto fleecing" (as those devilish lawyers might call it) to understand
 exactly what is expected of them. For that reason I ran some figures based on 
today's gold price at the London's Metals Exchange and the entire consignment of
 alluvial gold would fetch approximately 5,675,586.60 in US dollars. My fiften 
percent would come out to about 851,337 US dollars. Your handling fee would be 
around a quarter of a million dollars which certainly seems fair. Indeed, such
 commercial ventures are wonderful things, are they not my friend? 

The 175,000 US dollar Official export charge seems reasonable. I imagine, once 
the proper contracts are signed, it would be a simple enough matter to escrow 
a loan for that amount against the gold's delivery and/or insurance. Although 
perhaps an escargot account tied to the prime would be a safer gamble. Either 
way, we should be able to leverage the gold to cover most of the expenses of 
the transaction. Sounds simple enough to me. 

I do have a tiny problem on my end, and that's how to move such a large sum of 
monies into my accounts, while at the same time minimizing the US taxes I'll be
 required to pay. I'm busily working the sums through various spread sheet 
formulas to see what works best. As they say, funny money in - funny money out! 

I tried to call you, but the exchange was busy. Phones are such archaic devices. 
I much prefer, as I'm sure you do, to handle my transactions via an online 
conference. Voice would be good enough, although I do have the capacity to 
video conference. As for my FAX number, I prefer not to use my company's FAX 
for this delicate matter (my secretary is dreadfully nosey and a gossip to boot 
-- well, next time I'll know better than to hire eye-candy). I am in the process 
of setting up a private FAX number you can contact and I will email you the number 
as soon as it is available. 

Yours in Peace and Fertility
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Apparently Dr. KaFool is having trouble with his email. 

Dear Sir, 

This is to inform you that we are still especting your response 
to our last mail to you. 

Thanks. E. Kuffour 

Pierpont replies with an almost identical email as his last. 

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, 

That's strange, I had replied to you yesterday. The communication lines 
in Accra-Ghana must be a bit flummoxed, because I could not get my call 
through to you either. More on that later, but now down to the shadey 
business at hand. 

At any rate, as I mentioned in my unreceived email (and some of this 
will be repeated if the previous email does eventually arrive in the 
interrum) -- I am pleased that we are on the same page when it comes 
to the details of the transaction. I feel it is of upmost importance 
for both of us to understand exactly what is expected as we go about 
our larceney. For that reason I ran some figures based on yesterday's 
gold price at the London's Metals Exchange and the entire consignment 
of alluvial gold would fetch approximately 5,675,586.60 in US dollars. 
My fifteen percent would come out to about 851,337 US dollars. Your 
handling fee would be around a quarter of a million dollars which 
certainly seems fair. 

The 175,000 US dollar Official export charge seems reasonable. I imagine, 
once the proper contracts are signed, it would be a simple enough matter 
to escrow a loan for that amount against the gold's delivery and/or insurance. 
Although perhaps an escargot account tied to the prime would be a safer gamble. 
Either way, we should be able to use the gold as collateral to cover most of 
the expenses of the transaction. 

I do have a tiny problem on my end, and that's how to move such a large sum 
of monies into my accounts, while at the same time minimizing the US taxes 
I'll be required to pay. I'm busily working the sums through various spread 
sheet formulas to see what works best. As they say, funny money in - funny 
money out! I think I am nearing as satifactory solution that will benefit 
us both financially. 

I also mentioned that I preferred to handle my business via online conferences 
rather than by phone. I'm sure the offices of your gold mining consortium are 
set up for either voice or video conference. I am also hesitant to use my 
company's FAX machine. The walls have ears and the water-cooler is abuzz with 
rumors and all. For that reason I am at present arranging for another, more 
secure, FAX. I believe this will aid in the looming bamboozling considerably. 

Yours in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ. 

After waiting a few days Pierpont develops the sneaking suspicion 
that KaFool's email address has been discontinued. He decides to 
try KaFool's other email address. 

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, 

I'm beginning to get a bit puzzled by this exchange of emails. 
After you failed to receive my last reply I promptly answered you. 
You have not answered that email which leads me to believe you did 
not receive it either. Couple that with my inability to get a connection 
at the phone number you provided, and I'm beginning to suspect the 
electronic communications in your company are incompetently handled. 
I certainly hope your business skills are better. 

This is my last response to your offer, and it is sent to your 
alternative email address. I expect a prompt reply. I am a busy man 
with multiple transaction to juggle and have no time to waste on games. 

I have also set up a private phone number where you can send a FAX 
transmission as well as contact me by voice. If I do not answer the 
phone and you wish to FAX, start sending the FAX before the beep. 
You may record a voice message after the beep. The number is 206-600-5600. 
I do not know the country code, you'll need to get that from your local 

Yours in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Whoo-hoo, the fish is back on the hook. I love it when he asks Pierpont 
"In this stage what are we going to do?" Ummm... you're the scammer moron, 
you're supposed to be running the show not Weaver. 

Dear Weaver, 

thanks for your message, We have been expecting your response 
which I just received today. 

Please understand that communication problem is all over not a play 
If you try and it failed you have to try again until you get through 
most times the line might be engaged. The number again is +233-27-587908 
the line is always ready. 

In this stage what are we going to do ? and what was the content of the 
last mail which did not reach us. I will try your phone today and also 
try to reach me on phone for more talk. 

Sorry for the delay and accept our equall services to all. 

Reply ASAP. 

E. Kuffour 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Pierpont's Nubian alluvial gold mining buddy also calls. 

Phone Call 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
He's in a veritable frenzy. He sends another email, this time 
offering to ship the alluvial gold. I'm sure there won't be 
any strings attached. 

Dear Weaver, 

This is the second mail of today, are you coming down to Ghana 
as soon as possible or would you like the product to be moved 
to your destination by us? 

Lets know the next stage without much delay we are ever ready 
for business and actions. 

E. Kuffour 

Pierpont replies. He also includes his previous letter (again) 
since it may be leading to something down the road. 

Dear Dr E. Kuffour, 

I am pleased to have heard from you via phone message and email today. 
I was beginning to become concerned over our pending business partnership. 
I only have a brief amount of time to write before I need to leave the 
office for a very long day in the field. Before we move the gold I do 
think we'll need to carefully work out the details. I'm sure most of 
them can be worked out via conference call, email and FAX; although a 
face to face meeting in Ghana may be helpful. 

I am beginning to become excited by this partnership. I see nothing 
but good things arising from it and anticipate it eventually blooming 
into a long and fiscally rewarding relationship. 

I am pressed for time at the moment so I will paste a copy of my last 
email below. I have had time to work out some of the details that 
concerned me:  [repeat of his last letter]

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool seems to think Pierpont is going to stuff a garbage bag 
with $170,000 and fly to Accra. 

Dear Weaver, 

we have receved your mail, and we wait for your final plane and 
arrival schedul, If you will find it difficult to travel with 
the shipment charges, we can give the company's account to pay 
inn the money for your arrival. 

call on phone for further talks. 

Thanks we are most grateful 

E. Kuffour 

Not so fast cowboy, Pierpont wants some comical looking forged documents 
before he's going to fly anywhere. This guy is so bad Pierpont is having 
to scam himself to keep it going. 

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, 

Good heavens man, get a grip on yourself will you? It is far too early 
for anybody to be flying anywhere. We haven't even completed any of the 
preliminary paperwork. My God, we haven't even forged a implausable 
contract yet. I'm sure your handshake is as good as your word, but I do 
think we should have something on paper. Be patient my friend, we must 
cross the T's and dot the I's. Soon enough we'll be toasting each other 
on the successful conclusion of this transaction. 

For example, in your second email to me you refered to the Precious 
Mineral Marketing Company. I went to their website -- -- 
and found this bit of business that needs to be attended to: 

"A foreign investor may team up with a Ghanaian entrepreneur or company 
for a joint venture, usually in the form of a partnership or a limited 
company ... Application for registration of a company is made directly, 
or through agents or solicitors, to the registrar-general. A company is 
duly registered after the company’s regulations have been submitted to 
the registrar of companies and a certificate of incorporation issued." 

I think the next step is for me to contact the registrar-general and 
establish our joint venture, or is that something you can handle easier 
from your end? Please research the matter and tell me the particulars 
I'll need to provide so we may procede with this flim-flamming with at 
least a facade of legitamacy. 

We also need to talk. Your phone service is absolutely horrid. I believe 
the recent rash of solar flares, or perhaps baboons nibbling on the wires, 
is causing intermittent outages. With that in mind, I've also requested 
that you contact your IT department so we can have an onLine conference. 
Have they returned with an answer as to what conferencing software you use? 
If they need advice I can offer some suggestions. I look forward to conferencing 
with you and nailing down many of the loose details in this illusionary p
artnership of ours. 

I also believe I've found a way around the tax issue. I have to work out 
a few more details here and I think we'll have a means of smoothing the 
whole affair. I'll have more information on that soon. 

Is there any information in particular you need from me? Surely you'll 
need some information from me to draw up the Certificates of Insurance, etc. 

Your in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool sort of flounders around trying to keep the deal alive, 
but doesn't knowing exactly what to do next. 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks I understand you very much to register , I want to assure 
when you arrive all this will be done unless you don't want to 
come over. To register a comapny here is possible and easy with 
a local partner and the informations need from you will be when 
you arrive your name , address, and your company informations 
also sort of identification such as driver's licence or international 
passport copy or any other ID. 

Awaiting your response. 


E. Kuffour 

Gee, I wonder if KaFool can install software on the computer of the 
internet cafe he frequents? 

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, 

I've been checking the calendar and the projections on the gold market. 
It looks like the best window of opportunity for selling the gold will 
be in mid December. I'm guessing it would take at most a week or two 
from the point of finalizing our suspect deal to selling the alluvial 
gold. For that reason I am presently planning on making the trip to 
meet you in Accra Ghana in either the last week of November, or the 
first week in December. 

In the meanwhile we should have a voice conference. You have not replied 
on the software your company uses, which leads me to believe you may be 
unfamiliar with the technology. I suggest, as a very simple-minded 
introduction to this sham conference, that you consider loading the 
Roger-Wilco software (go to gamespy for the client software). It may not 
seem very business like, but is very simple free conferencing software 
for IT departments unfamiliar with the technology to practice with. 
Of course if you have other software you use, please advise and I'll 
get my computer people working on the interface. 

I still believe that Registering Weaver Enterprises as a foreign partner 
of your company is best handled before I get there. We want to avoid 
as many last minute glitches to this deal as possible -- after all, 
I'm sure some unexpected "surprise" snags are going to rear their heads 
We should get as many details out of the way early as possible, there 
will be enough last minute expenses we'll have to scramble to take care 
of as it is. 

Also, I wonder if you could FAX me, or attach to an emails, a Bill of Lading 
showing your ownership of the gold, as well as the Certificate of Insurance? 
I'll be forwarding my company particulars, as well as bank account information, 
later this week. 

I must say I am pleased by this deal, although a bit puzzled as to why you 
seem unwilling to send me the information I request. We must have faith and 
trust in each other for this venture to proceed to the anticipated financial

Your in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver 

Hmmm... no response? Time to give him a little nudge, 
this time with a letter from my lawyer (written by a fellow 
counter-spammer) attached. 

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, 

I trust all is well with you and your family. I'm a bit sore myself. 
Clumsy me, I fell off of the back of a turnip truck today and sprained 
my back. Fortunately it is nothing serious and I should be back to full 
strength in no time at all. 

I've been very busy working on the details of this partnership on my end. 
I'm still waiting to hear your opinion of the proposed late November/early 
December date for our meeting. Plans on this side are prodeeding nicely. 
I've attached a scan of an letter I received from my lawyer. We've postioned 
some funds in Ghana and await the documents I've requested from you so we 
can begin moving this transaction forward. 

In addition, we believe that for tax purposes it would be best if we were 
to shelter this alluvial gold sale under the umbrella of a charity. This 
would have the effect of releasing more actual cash for all involved. 
I know it may seem a bit unethical to an honest businessman such as yourself, 
but these types of tax shelters are commonly employed in the United States. 

If it meets your approval I would like you to write a letter indicated you 
would like us to handle the details of a "donation" to the charity. If you 
approve of this approach I will send you further details to aide you in writing 
said letter. 

As always, Yours in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont Emanuel Weaver 

Attached Lawyer's Letter 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Whooo-Hooo, the bait worked. Pierpont gets another phone call from the dear Doctor 

Phone Call 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Followed by a letter in which KaFool drops his scam figure from $170,000 
to $1,800. He continues to duck Pierpont's requests for forged documents. 

Attn: Mr. P. weaver, 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks for your mail, and sorry for the delay in replying that was 
due to my trip out of the city. 

About the meeting for the business, if you will make the trip earlier 
than your schedule that is end of October or early November I think it 
will be better for us. 

Please understand that I am not too familiar with computer most of our 
business is phone, fax and email. I can't understand why you cannot get 
me on phone, while we receive calls from Asia, America and Europe without 
any problem. But when I call you it gets through so try me again and again 
you will get the line no matter how difficult. 

To register the company here is possible and I have made enquiries about 
it as a foreign company it will cost $1,800 USD to incorporate. So if you 
are ready and you want if to be done before you arrive let know and I will 
tell you the requirements. Be rest assured all arrangement concerning our 
transaction has been made so there will be no emergency or disappointment 
along the way. 

Concerning the bill of loading and insurance, it will only be ready and 
available when the goods for shipment and export. 

What information did you request from me? Let me know. 

Regarding your second mail, which every means you think or know things 
will move better for us I give you our support. And believe me I did not 
understand most of the content of the attachment you sent to me from your 
Lawyer. Call me 233 27 587908. 

Awaiting your urgent response. 


E. Kuffour. 

Pierpont replies and attaches a newspaper article about the charity 
(which I suppose could be interpreted as a Packer fan kicking some 
Lion's fans while they're down). Pierpont also casually mentions that 
Buck's letter said $50,000 had been moved into a bank account in Ghana. 

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, 

I am pleased to hear from you and I hope your trip was harmonious and 
prosperous. No need to apologize, we are both busy business men. I am 
feeling pretty good, although my back is taking longer to recover from 
my tumble off the turnip truck than I had hoped. 

I'm afraid I'm booked solid in early November. I have an important 
Trade Show which I must attend. The earliest I could schedule a trip 
would be around the 12th of November. If that sounds good, then I shall 
begin booking a flight. By the way, my wife would very much like to make 
the trip over also. She is quite the collector of art and other curios 
and is excited at the prospect of exploring the markets, etc. of your 
country. I do hope her coming along is not a problem for you. 

Yes, the situation with the phones is most curious. I tried again earlier 
today but could only get a busy signal. Buck said he couldn't even make a 
connection. It has rained a considerable amount where we are, perhaps 
moisture has gotten into the lines. I'll be travelling to the Spas at 
Gary Indianna this weekend. I'll look into purchasing a mobile phone and 
see if I have better luck contacting you. I'll also be taking along my 
laptop computer so I will be able to read my emails and stay in contact 
with you if something needing feigned attention arises. 

It is a shame you're having problems with the onLine Conferencing software. 
It is rather easy to set up if one knows computers, and it is much more 
reliable - and as a businessman you'll no doubt appreciate this - cheaper 
than overseas phone calls. 

When I spoke about the Bill of Lading and Insurance Certificate perhaps 
I was not clear. I was simply requesting some sort of a document showing 
your ownership of the alluvial gold. In your original email you indicated 
it was 99% pure. You must have had it appraised and I'm sure the Chemical 
Labs report, or something similar, would be fine for my needs. 

Thank you for agreeing to scheme to transfer the alluvial gold through a 
charity. That will save us a considerable sum of money in taxation. I work 
with a charity called the L.F.A. (Leo Fan Anonymous). It is a charity that 
helps people who suffer from uncurable melancholia and depression. We do 
our best, via modern medicines, electro-shock therapy, and surgical procedures 
to see that they live a happy, albeit empty headed, existence. It is the best 
we can do. If you could write a letter, in your own words of course, saying 
you heard of the fine work of the L.F.A. and would like to assist via the saale 
of alluvial gold I would appreciate it more than you can know. I've attached 
an article concerning its founding to provide you with further information 
about it. Many, many thanks. 

Yes, Leviticus "Buck" Wheat's letter I attached to the last email was no 
doubt confusing. Lawyers are silver tongued devils aren't they? They spend 
too much of their time playing the sloppy lip blues on meat whistles for my 
taste. At any rate, aside from the chit-chat, he was just informing me that 
he had arranged the transfer of 50,000 US dollars to a bank in Accra. He was 
also concerned that you post a Surety Bond for the alluvial gold. Don't worry 
about that too much, as honorable businessman our word should be bond enough. 
At any rate, he'll no doubt be in touch with you at some point in the near 
future. Email me if you have any questions or concerns over his antics. 

Yours in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont E. Weaver, Esq. 

Attached Newspaper Article 

Pierpont almost forgot the bit about incorporating in Ghana for $1,800. 

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, 

I am so embarassed. In my enthusiasm over this pending deal, 
I almost forgot to address a very important point in your email. 

Thanks for checking on the requirements for a foreign firm doing 
business in your country. Yes, it would be best if we could have 
the incorporation papers ready and signed before I come over, or 
at least ready to be signed as soon as I arrive. You can send the 
forms to me via FAX or email attachment and I'll see they are 
promptly filed. 

Yours in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont E. Weaver, Esq. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Oooohhhh... the Mines Association is throwing a big shindig in November!!!! 
Maybe Pierpont can film a "Girls Gone Wild at the Mining Association Party" 
tape and sell it on late night TV!!! 

Dear Weaver, 

I have gone to the chamber of mines here for the change of ownership 
certificate in your name and they are asking for the proof of the payment 
you made. 

You have to make your trip end of this month as I earlier said, because 
from November the mines association will be having end of year party and 
after that it will go on holidays. 

Please explain more about the charity sales to me , because I have not 
done it that way before. 

And finally, let your lawyer understand and know that this business is 
legitimate and all documents will come from the Government accordingly. 
That?s why we ask you to come over for the signing of the agreements and 
documents. Then we can proceed to get all necessary documents in your 
name for the shipment. 

The documents that will be given to you are as follows. 

1) Certificate of Origin (2) Certificate of Ownership (3) Insurance and 
Bill of loading. All will be in your name. 


Ebenezer Kuffour 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
The $50,000 got his attention for sure. He calls again. 

Phone Call 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
And he writes again, still trying to get that $1,800 fee. 

Dear Friend, 

To register the company and to get the forms which you will fill 
you have to send the money which i told you it will cost through 
the western union money transfer in favour of SAMUEL EKEZIE Accra-Ghana. 
Then you send me the transfer informations. When i pay the forms will be 
given to me and I will send if Original to you through DHL to fill 
properly sign and return the same way. I will respond to your first mail 

My greatings to your wife and family. 



Pierpont, now on his vacation to the spas of Gary Indianna, 
OKs the $1,800 (honest) -- but he is going to need some phony 
documents first. 

Dear Kuffour, 

How are you my friend? In good health I hope. I'm sorry I have not 
replied earlier, but as I said I'm taking a trip to the Spa this weekend. 
I spent the entire day travelling via motor car. We've stopped at Branson, 
Missouri. Lulu Bell, my lovely wife, is a big Jim Nabors fan and we're 
hoping to catch his show tonight. I'll have to be brief in my reply. 

At first I was confused by your second letter. I thought you were asking me 
to pay $1,800 for some blank forms. I almost got angry, but then I realized 
it must just be a mix-up in language. Surely nobody would be foolish enough 
to pay that much money just to get a blank form to fill out. 

I'm sure what you meant was after I filled out the forms I should submit 
them with the $1,800 fee at the same time. Of course that is perfectly 
exceptable to me. You can send the forms via DHL courier if you wish, 
but if you FAX them or attach them to an email I'll get them quicker. 
I'll be sure to fill them out promptly and immediately return them with 
the required $1,800 incorporation fee. 

I didn't understand what you meant by a change of ownership certificate. 
You own the alluvial gold, not me. By the way, I'm still awaiting a document 
that attests to you possessing the alluvial gold. Any luck getting the 
Chemist's report? Or at least a notarized memo saying you have the alluvial 
gold? Both Mr. Wheat and my accountant will pitch a fit if I don't get some 
proof you have the alluvial gold. 

I must say you Ghanian alluvial gold miners take your parties seriously. 
You mean to say that the entire month of November and December is taken 
up with drunken orgies? That's a dreadful shame, because I can't make it 
any earlier than the 12th of November. The week before the 12th is the 
International Cabonated Beverages Convention in Miami Florida. Since we're 
trying to promote Yaka-Cola to South America I have to be there to promote 
my company. Perhaps Lulu Bell and I could come over, sign the papers, and 
celebrate the deal at the Mine Association party? Otherwise we'll need to 
push the meeting off until after the holidays. 

You must trust me my friend that selling the gold under the umbrella 
of the L.F.A. will result in substantial tax savings for us all. Since
 a non-profit organization would be labeled as receiving my share of 
the money significant reductions in tax rates would occur. Please, 
just write a letter saying you've heard of the fine work of the L.F.A., 
mix in some details from the newspaper article to make it sounfd 
convincing. Request that I handle the sale for the benefit of the L.F.A 

I'll be travelling again tomorrow, but I expect that the day after 
I'll be able to purchase a mobile phone and try again to call you. 
I look forward to speaking to you. 

Well, I must power down my laptop now. My best wishes to your wife 
and family. 

Your in Peace and Fertility,

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool finally produces some fake documentation! 
Hmmmm... I wonder who Samuel Ackah of Charl & J.P.R. Co. Ltd is? 

Dear Weaver, 

Many thanks for your mails and ideas, and I wish you speedy recovery 
on your back and a wonderful tours this weekend. 

Find attached the copy of the certificate of ownership and the latest 
report from the SGS for your need. 

November 12th will be alright for the trip, therefore confirm your flight 
and send the schedule to me to enable me make reservations and prepare 
for your arrival. It will be my pleasure to welcome you and your beloved 
wife in my country. 

I also want you to understand that I have confidence in dealing with you 
as a person so be rest assured the trust has established and it will soon 
lead to mutual benefits to both parties. 

My regards to your wife and family and thanks for your understanding 
and co-operation. 

Awaiting your urgent response. 

Sincerely yours 

Ebenezer Kuffour (Executive Manager) 

Cerificate of Ownership
Lab Cover Sheet
Lab Report 

Pierpont sends off a brief acknowledgement as he vacations. 

Dear Kuffour, 

Thanks for your last email and the forms you attached. 
I've only got time for a quick note. We're wrapping up 
our stay here and will begin driving back to Florida 
early tomorrow. I anticipate getting back Tuesday. 
I'll arrange my travel plans Wednesday and forward you 
the details. 

Pierpont Weaver. 


Pierpont muddies the water when he attaches a memo 
about the lab analysis his Head Chemist prepared 
(written by another counter-spamming friend). 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

Hello my friend, I trust you and your family are in good health. 
My vacation was quite pleasurable. I am writing from a hotel in 
Bugtussle Tennesee. Rather a rustic little town. I have one more 
day of driving and then it will be back to work! 

A couple of minor details. I forwarded your chemist's report to 
some of my people and they returned a memo (attached) which raises 
some issues which need to be clarified. As you can see they were 
concerned over your reports use of the term bullion rather than 
alluvial. I suspect it was a simple-minded mistake, since in your 
first letter you were clearly talking about alluvial gold -- 
and not bullion -- when you mentioned we would get it shipped 
to the refinery of our choice. 

Be that as it may, the discrepency between your original claim of 
99.5% pure vs. my lab's report of it being 94.5% pure, is an issue 
we need to clarify to procede. I am assuming there was a typo in 
the original email and you meant 94.5%. However, perhaps it would 
be best to send a small five gram sample to my folks if you think 
that would be helpful. After all, $300,000 eratz dollars is a small 
amount in the scheme of things, but we should be clear on what the 
figures actually are. 

Also, I'm abit confused by your report being done for a Mr. Samuel Ackah 
of the firm Charl & J.P.R. I assume that a subsidiary of your firm? 

I'm also interested in hearing how your letter to the L.F.A. is progressing. 
Also, any luck getting the forms for incorporation? 

Well, enough chit-chat for now. In less than a month we'll be raising a 
toast in Accra over the deal. I look forward with anticipation to the day! 

Yours in Peace and Fertility,
Pierpont Weaver. 

Attached Chemist's Memo 

My head chemist is actually a chemical engineering student. 
he is the one who  received the gold and is having it assayed. 
Here is the preliminary report:

OK, here's your lab report: 

mass = 9.511 grams 
volume = .51 mL 
density of material = 18.649 g/mL 
density of gold = 19.3 g/mL 

Melting point >1000 degrees Celcius 

I dont' have all the data in front of me, but the purity came out in the 95% 
range, give or take a percent. Sorry I can't be more specific. The guy who 
did the assesment gave me a quickie assesment since I wanted to get this to 
you today, I'll get a more detailed assesment later this week or early next 

At 95% purity, out of 9.5 grams, that's about 9 grams of gold. The going rate 
is about $300 an ounce. There are about 28 grams per ounce. That comes out to 
almost $100. As soon as I get a formal report from the lab, which won't be 
until late this week or early next week, I'll scan and send. 

*made a minor typo, I put g/L for the units of density, should have been g/mL

Pierpont hopes he didn't spook KaFool too badly with the Head Chemist's memo. Anyhoo... time to email Pierpont's African travel plans. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

Hello my friend, I trust you and your family are in good health? 
I've finally made it back from my trip to the spas and was able 
to contact my travel agent today and arrange for plane tickets to Accra. 
Here is the schedule: 

I leave Monday November 11th and arrive in Accra Ghana Nov 12 at 9:05 p.m. on British Airways flight 81. 

The entire trip takes a little over 30 hours, so I am sure that Lulu Belle and myself will be quite exhausted when we arrive. Will you arrange to meet us at the airport? Also, if you could recommend a good hotel we can then arrange for our lodging. 

I'm a bit tired after my vacation, so I'll leave the other minor matters until tomorrow. 

This venture of ours is starting to excite me. I look forward to spending some time with you and visiting your lovely country. 


Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool screws up and sends Pierpont the email Weaver had sent KaFool back to him. Funny thing, it has oviously been pasted into the email -- could he be fowarding it to a fellow scammer for consultation? If so, two half wits obviously don't equal a whole. 

I'm sure this will clarify things for KaFool... 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

There appears to have been a mixup on your end. The last email 
you sent me was the email I had sent you previously (the one 
where I sent my flight details, etc.). That is to say, you sent 
me the email I sent you, rather then the email you meant to send 
replying to the email I sent you. 

If you could please resend the email you had intended to send, 
rahter than the eamil I sent, it would be helpful. 



Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
My God, what a lazy scammer. Once again KaFool flounders around 
with nothing more than assurances all will be well when Pierpont 
arrives in Ghana for the robbery. 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks for your concerns. 

The 94.5% is the average percentage of the product. 

The firm Charles & J.P.R Co. LTD. is a minning company to make 
the shipment process easy for us all. 

Your concern for the incorporation is being addressed and assure 
you that on your arrival every thing will be done. 

We acknowledge your flight schedule and will be at the airport 
to pick you and your wife up. 

The best hotel in Accra now is the La Palm Royal Beach Hotel, 
we can make the reservation here if your schedule is a confirmed on. 

Thanks and awaiting to meet you soon. 

many regards. 

K. Kuffour 

Pierpont dangles the carrot of all the imaginary money he has already spent, 
and then cronks KaFool over the head with demands for more forged documents. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

Yes, my flight schedule has been confirmed. We've purchased the tickets 
already and look forward with great anticipation to the flight. Glad to 
hear that you'll be at the airport to pick me and Lulu Belle up. Please 
do make reservations at the La Palm Royal Beach Hotel and spare no expense. 

I've had less luck finding a phone plan for calling Africa than I anticipated. 
It seems not many independent phone companies in the States handle such calls.
 However, I do have some good news, I believe I've located a firm in the 
Caribbean that will be adequate. I hope to finally make it through on the 
phone and speak to you soon! 

I understand and accept the mistake you made regarding the alluvial gold 
actually being 94.5% pure. Regardless, there will still be plenty of money 
for both you and I to profit upon. I also understand that Charles & J.P.R Co. LTD. 
is a firm contracted to expediate and handle the alluvial gold. However, I still 
don't have any documentation that clearly shows ownership by your firm of the 
500kg of alluvial gold. You will NEED to FAX, or send as an email attachment, 
a contract between your firms regarding the the alluvial gold. 

As for the incorporation, I still believe it is best handled before I arrive 
in Accra. Please send me the incorporation forms so I may fill them out and 
submit them, along with the $1,800 incorporation fee, prior to my arrival 
in your country. 

One final matter. You have had over a week to prepare the letter requesting 
I handle the alluvial gold sale as an agent for the L.F.A. charity. I am a 
bit disturbed that I have not received it, nor did you even mention it. That respresents a significant saving for all parties involved in the alluvial gold 
sale. I have already tied up $50,000 dollars in a bank in Ghana, as well as 
spending and additional $4,000+ dollars for the airplane tickets. Incorporation 
will cost an additional $1,800. The hotel and other expenses are going to drive 
my cost even higher. 

I realize you folks in the tropics may do things at a more relaxed basis -- 
what with spending the afternoons drinking coconut wine and goo-goo eying the 
cabana boy and all -- but I must INSIST that you forward the letter as we 
discussed and you AGREED to do. 

Pierpont E. Weaver, ESQ. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool gets the message loud and clear, but then he complicates matters 
by fishing for an address. 

Dear weaver, 

How are you today with your family, Two things for me. 

(1) Please draft the text what you will like me to send to your people 
and let me have their address. 

(2) Let me have the delivery address for incoporation forms which will 
soon come through DHL. 

I will get back to you soon. 


Time to use the "travelling out of the office" gambit 
to avoid sending an address. 

Dear Dr Kaffour, 

It is so good to hear from you. How are you and your family? 
I will address your points in reverse order. 

2) I'm travelling between offices this week so finding an office to DHL 
to forms to is problematical. It would be much simpler and more efficient 
to email or FAX the forms to me. 

1) The letter will be much more effective if it is written in your own 
termonology and style. You may address it to me. State that you've heard 
that I am a board member of the L.F.A. Charity. Say you admire the work 
they do (grab some examples from the article I previously emailed you) 
and would like to assist it. Ask me to handle the alluvial gold sale and 
contribute my portion to the charity. Before you mail it, please email 
me it so I can be sure there are no glaring errors. Once the letter is 
correct I will send you and address to mail it to. 

Thanks so much for your prompt response to these important matters. 

P. Weaver, ESQ. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Pierpont jars KaFool into some action. Two of the FAXs were messed up. 
The one that came through is linked to. By the way, am I the only 
completely confused over what the terms of imaginary deal between 
KaFool and Weaver is? 

Dear Weaver, 

We hereby inform you that the minners association agreed today that 
you are to pay 7% seven percent of the total value of the merchandise 
to cover the documentations and shipment expences to your destination. 
That the 7% will also be deducted from our payment after sales of the 

Note the price is $6,500 USD per KG Quantity 500KG. As you can see 
the price is better than before after the meeting today. 

Pls, Confirm the receipt of the three pages of fax I sent to you today. 

Many regards. 

E. Kuffour 

Another Ownnership Certificate 

Pierpont acknoledges the FAX. 

Dear Dr Kuffour, 

Unfortunately I only received one of the three FAXs clear 
enough to read. The Agreement of 29 October between your 
company and Charl & J.P.R. which transfered the gold to 
you at a price of $6000 per kilo. Please resend the other 
two, or attach them to an email. 

Yes, $6500 (or $6000) is a most excellent price considering 
today's L.M.E live price of $10,197 per kilo. I must say, a 
most impressive and outstanding job of negotiation on your part. 
I applaud your business accuman. 

Pierpont Weaver, ESQ. 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool must not be able to afford both the FAX and the internet cafe today. 

Dear Weaver, 

I will refax the two copies tomorrow, Pls, confirm when you receive it. 


E. Kuffour 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
He finally gets enough money to send the other two cheesey 
looking documents. Oh boy! The L.F.A gets their alluvial gold funding! 

Dear Sir, 

I will fax you the two documents today. 

I hope you have seen the final conlusion of the association 
concerning your goods and the 7% which you need to come along 
with to facilitate all the neccessary things to your destination. 
As you can see I made the price the be better like that so you can 
give me some commission from the huge profit which you making 
from the gold. 



Court Ownership Document
L.F.A. Donation Approval 

Now KaFool wants 1.8 million dollars up front? Sure! No problem! 
Pierpont's chemist has one little concern though... 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

I received the two FAXs you sent. Thank you very much for the memo 
concerning involving the L.F.A. Between your most excellent job of 
negotiating a lower price to the alluvial gold, and the ability to 
shelter some of the tax cost behind a charity we will have saved a 
considerable amount of money. 

Yes my friend, I think it is only fair that we adjust our percentages 
in the partnership so you get a larger slice of the pie. By my calculations 
if we went to a fifty-fifty split of the 20% we would make out handsomely. 
I suggest we adjust those figures so we treat ourselves as the equal partners 
we are in these shenanigans. 

The request that I put up 7% as a bond is more problematical. That amounts to 
over 1.8 million dollars my friend, and securing that much cash on short notice 
may be difficult. 

Another matter that concerns me and my Head Chemist (I have attached his memo) 
is the ownership trail of the alluvial gold. We do have question, which mine 
did the alluvial gold get mined in? As his letter indicates, we would like to have documentation of the alluvial gold's source. 

Also, if I am to put up the entire 1.8 million dollar bond in cash I'm going 
to have to insist on receiving a 5 gram sample for testing purposes as my 
chemist requests. If that is ok with you contact me and I'll give you a secure 
address the sample may be shipped to. 


Naberhood's Second Memo 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Bwaaahahaha. What a moron. 

Dear Weaver, 

As you demanded on your last mail, Pls, send me your delivery address 
Immediately so that I can send you sample through DHL on monday. 
The sample will be more than 5gram which you demanded. I will also 
add the copy of the Certificate of Origin and may add any other 
relevant document. This is to cut every thing short and finalise 
the transaction to proof all things right. 

awaiting the address and hoping to meet you soon in Accra. 


E. Kuffour 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
He also called. I guess mentioning 1.8 million in cash 
scrambled his greedy pea-sized brain. 

Phone Call 

We arrange for a "drop box" address for the DHL shipment. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound as if I was imposing on you with a demand. 
Mr. Naberhood has been driving my crazy with memos over this gold, and I 
really appreciate you sending along a sample to allay his concerns. 

Next week I'll be at the convention in Miami I mentioned in an earlier email. 
We'll have our lab in Indianna handle the analysis so if you could send the 
sample there it will be most efficient on our end. Include any certificates 
or other paper work you feel is pertinent along with the sample and they'll 
be able to get it to me. The address of the lab, and person who the alluvial g
old should be sent to, is: 

Weaver Enterprises
attn: John Smith
500 Sagamore Parkway W, Ste N3
West Lafayette, IN

Thank you so very much for your understanding of the situation. 
I'll have a very busy week in Miami and I certainly look forward to 
meeting you and your associates in Accra on the 12th of November. 
I think this is going to be only the start of a much more profitable 
relationship between us. 

Your friend and partner,
Pierpont Weaver 

Ooops, we don't want the alluvial gold sample to get lost 
in the vast bowels of the Indianna branch of Weaver Enterprises. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

I made a slight mistake in the address I sent you earlier. 
I forgot to route it to the Metallurgical Department. 
To avoid any chance of them misplacing it in the interoffice 
mail please email it to: 

Weaver Enterprises
attn: John Smith
Metallurgical Dept.
500 Sagamore Parkway W, Ste N3
West Lafayette, IN

Once again, thank you for being understanding and accomodating over this matter. 

Your friend and partner,
Pierpont Weaver 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Still no sign of KaFool waking up and smelling the coffee. 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks , The parcel will be sent tomorrow monday 4/11/2002. 
As you know you have about one week to be in Ghana so prepare 
your self financially and other wise to meet up all the arranges. 
Indeed once this first one goes on well with understanding on 
both parties many ways shall open and this will be the smallest 
and the beginning. 

I will let you know tomorrow what and what that is in the parcel. 

God bless you. and hoping to see you soon. 


E Kuffour 

Pierpont assures KaFool things are going better than expected. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

Very good news. It is late and I am tired so I shall be brief. 
I'll be at the Convention tomorrow, but should be able to check 
my email from time to time. I'll email you as soon as I get word 
the package was received. 

Also, you need not worry, the preparations on this side are 
proceding very nicely. So far I've made much better progress 
than I had anticipated. I do believe this transaction is going 
to continue to develop smoothly. 

Your friend,

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool asks for a phone call. Is he stalling? 

Dear Weaver, 

This is also a good news, find a reachable phone line so that 
we can call you or you try as much as you can to call us. 
I will get back to you to inform you as I said. 

E. Kuffour 

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Apparently not. He claims to have sent the package. 

Dear weaver, 

The DHL is on the way today monday, Inside is copy of the 
certificate of origin, copy of the mining licence and the sample. 

By this I think we have finish our own side of work awaiting 
your arrival. So you have to prepare as agreed with the 7% 
for shipment and the documentation to avoid any delay on your 
arrival. We have finished our side as soon as you arrive and 
make the payment four days every thing is conluded. 

How many days do want to spend In Accra?, this is because of 
the reservation. 

Awaiting your response. 

God Bless you. 

E. Kuffour. 

Relax Kafool, Pierpont has all the details of this high-powered 
imaginary alluvial gold transaction under control. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

Good to hear that the documents and sample have been shipped. 

Things are proceding very nicely on my end. I've contacted my 
financial people and they are working out the details of raising 
the necessary cash. We anticipate transfering it to our account 
in Accra by next Monday at the latest. I should easily have enough 
to cover the 7% shipment fee, incorporations costs, and any other 
sundry expenses that may arise. 

I was anticipating staying in Ghana for two weeks. That would allow 
Lulu Belle and I to relax and do some sight-seeing in your country 
after our business was completed. Of course we also look forward to 
the various activities of the Miner's Association parties that you mentioned. 

I'm trying to find a good time to call you. This week I'm often tied 
up in Convention business until late. It would be far too late for me 
to call and disturb you. I think I may be able to get free earlier 
Wednesday night and give you a call. It would be around 7p.m. or so 
my time, which - if I calculate my time zones correctly - would be 
around midnight your time. Dreadfully late I know, but if it is ok 
with you I'll try to phone then. 

Your partner and friend,

Pierpont fishes for the DHL tracking number. 

Dear Dr. Kuffour, 

I have good news. I've managed to locate a bank that will loan me 
the needed cash for the alluvial gold transactions. I just had to 
put up my newly acquired stock in the Brooklyn Bridge as collateral. 
It should take two days for the necessary paperwork to be completed, 
but the money should be transfered to my Accra account this Friday. 
glad to get it done a little early so there isn't a last minute worry 
over funding. 

I had not heard from you if tomorrow was a good time for a call. 
No matter, because I'll have to postpone the call to Friday at the earliest. 

Also, when was the package supposed to arrive over here? Please send 
the DHL tracking number so my lab can track it and know when to expect it. 

Thanks again for your hard work on that end.

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool puzzles over why Weaver would open a bank account 
instead of just stuffing suitcases full of cash. Also, he 
may be stalling over the DHL number. 

Dear Weaver, 

You can call me any time, and one question how come you got 
bank account in Accra? Have you been to Ghana before?. The 
parcel is surpose to aarive today I will see the track number 
and get back to you soon. 



Pierpont answers the bank account question. 

Dear Dr Kuffour, 

I understood your information about the parcels. 

No, I've never been to Ghana before. I'm not sure I understood 
your question about the bank account. I think you're asking why 
I opened an account in your country? 

Of course, for obvious reasons, I wasn't going to travel with so 
much cash on my person. Buck, my lawyer, considered transfering 
the money to an account in Ghana would be the most secure means 
of moving so much money. 


Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool passes on the tracking number and also requests some gifts. 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks I understand every thing. The hotel reservation has been made. 
And if you have not received the parcel yet then kindly see the number 

My good friend when you are coming pls, get me one computer lap top 
and one GSM phone. this is for future cummunication at least any 
where i am i can access my mail with lap top. 

Looking forward to meeting you soon. 



Pierpont receives word from his Chemist that the package did arrive 
and it does contain a gold sample!!! 

Dear Dr Kuffour, 

I am pleased to say I have been informed that the lab has received 
that package and all appears to be in order. They'll analyze the 
sample soon. Very good news indeed. As my business mentor Monty Burns 
would have said, "excellent." 

Yes, of course I'll bring you a laptop and a GSM phone. I imagine 
they are much easier to purchase here than in Ghana. Is there any 
particular model or brand you would like? Also, are you married? 
If so I would like to purchase Mrs. Kuffour a present. 

The convention is winding down and almost over. I'll have a weekend 
to rest a bit and then it is off to Accra. I certainly look forward 
to meeting you. How will I know who you are when we meet at the airport? 
Perhaps you could scan and send me a photograph of yourself so I will 
recognize you. 

Your friend and partner,

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour's Package
Here it is, the stuff that dreams are made of.... 

Mining License

Government Agreement

Gold Mine Site Map

Gold Certificate

Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Poor KaFool, consumed by greed. Amazing to watch what was supposed 
to happen to Pierpont happen to him instead. 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks , this is a good news indeed. Pls, get me the latest type 
of the lap top and the phone will be V70 Motoralla fo me and my wife.
Be informed that I am married. 

God bless you. 


Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool is a bit nervous he hasn't heard from Pierpont for a day or so. 

Dear Weaver, 

How are you and your preparetion, Pls, reconfirm your flight name 
and time of arrival. 



Pierpont confirms his fake flight details and fishes for a picture again. 

Dear Ebenezer, 

Sorry for taking so long to reply. It was a very tiring week. 
My flight details are as follows: 

British Airways 81
London LHR to Accra (ACC)
Arriving: Tues, Nov 12, 9:05pm

Once again, how will I know you at the airport? It would help if 
you were to send me a photograph of yourself. 


Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Drat, no picture. 

Dear Weaver, 

Thanks, the only and fastest way to find you is to write your name 
and stand with it once you see it you come stright to it. 

I wish you and Lulu a safe and wonderful journey to Ghana. 

God be with you. 


Pierpont arrives in London! 

Dear Ebenezer, 

The first leg of our flight is complete. Lulu Belle and I 
are enduring a long layover in Philadelphia and I'm using 
my laptop to check my email. We leave in three hours for 
the flight to London. I'll try to check my email again from their. 

Good news - I've received word that the transfer of the bank 
funds has been accomplished. All preparations for the end game 
are in order. 

I'll look for somebody holding a sign with my name, and I look 
forward to meeting you and wrapping this business up successfully. 
What is the weather like in Ghana? 


Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
"Hoping to meeet you... " Odd wording, or a premonition on KaFool's part. 

Dear Weaver, 

The weather is hot here but not too much. 

Hoping to meet you tonight at the airport, and I wish you a safe journey. 



Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
Guess something went wrong with Pierpont's travel plans. 

Dear Mr. Weaver, 

Where are you? I was at the airport until 10.30pm my local time 
without seeing you. Call me on my number 233 27 587908. at any time. 

take care. 

Ebenezer Kuffour 

There is a certain charm in giving him a glimmer of hope, but... 

Dear Dr. KaFool, 

You weren't really STUPID enough to think a rich American 
with suitcases full of money and presents was going to step off 
that airplane for you to rob, were you? 

Wait, what am I saying, of course you are that STUPID. 

Why else, outside of complete STUPIDITY, would you waste your money 
sending me gold samples and comical looking "official" documents? 
Unfortunately for you I am well familiar with the various forms of 
the Nigerian 419 scam. Add to that the fact that you are world-class 
STUPID and things didn't quite go according to your plan, did they? 

You sent me a letter where you tried to appeal to my greed by talking 
about piles of imaginary gold. The plan was to rob me of as much money 
as you could. I countered by replying with letters in which I talked 
about piles of imaginary dollars. Your whole scam involved the other 
person being STUPID enough to allow greed to over-come common sense. 
Alas, you were the STUPID one who was overwhelmed with greed. 

I doubt you're laughing now, but there is a lot of humor in the situation. 
Think about it, what kind of STUPID moron falls for their own scam? 
You planned on robbing me and, amazingly enough, you ended up STUPIDLY 
robbing yourself instead. 

I hope this is a lesson to you. Face facts, you are too STUPID to be a 
criminal. Keep it up and you'll do something STUPID and land in jail. 
My advice to you, get off your lazy STUPID ass and get a job. All you're 
accomplishing now, aside from making it clear to all how STUPID you are, 
is giving your country and continent a reputation for being loaded down 
with thieves and con artists. 

As for your gold sample. Well, if you weren't a thief who would have 
gladly robbed me of as much money as possible, I would send it back. 
However, since you are a thief -- and one so STUPID that you actually 
managed the STUPID feat of robbing yourself, I fear your would just do 
something equally as STUPID if I returned it. For that reason I'll put 
your gold to better use than you ever could. 

I've been posting our letters on an internet discussion forum (by the 
way, we've all had a great time laughing over what a STUPID mugu you are). 
Once a year we get together and have a party. We've decided the best use 
for the gold you STUPIDLY sent us was to buy beer for that party. So, 
thanks for the beer. Also, we'll be sure to remember you at that party. 
While discussing how STUPID you are, we will all be sure to raise our 
glasses and toast your STUPIDITY. 

The target of your intended robbery who isn't STUPID, Pierpont Emanuel 
Weaver, ESQ. 

p.s. Just to show their are no hard feelings on my part over your comically 
STUPID attempt to rob me, I've attached a little gift for you. Print it out, 
frame it, and hang it on your wall (if your too STUPID to figure out how to 
do that, ask just about anybody else on the planet Earth for help - odds are 
they aren't as STUPID as you and can help). 


Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour
KaFool makes a feeble attempt to revise the deal. 

My friend if you believe your self or you dont believe 
an existing company then let it be so. 

You can come to our office even through the documents sent to you. 
froud stars do not have company registration or and address to 
locate him. 

Verify the genueinty of the company and their products. 

Pierpont slaps KaFool around some more, and then passes on letter 
where the "Head Chemist" of Weaver Enterprises also gets in some insults 

Dear KaFool, 

Oh, you silver tongues devil. You certainly have a way with words. 
Given the convincing spiel you always lay down I'll bet you could 
sell just about anything! Your last letter soooo messmerised me that 
I almost believe you DO have a company. 

Uhh... notice I said almost. To 100% convince me you'll have to DHL me 
another package of alluvial gold. Or just wire me some cash. Then you'll 
have access to my millions of US dollars. Honest. 

Ha-ha. Just kidding. I would feel real, real, real, real terrible if 
you had to mortgage your families prize water-buffalo to send me more 
money. However, that is the idea behind the 419 scam isn't it? Sucker 
them out of some money, and then sucker them out of some more as they 
try to recoup their losses? Who gives a shit how much financial pain 
it causes them? 

Anyhoo... my head chemist wanted to pass on a letter to you also. 
I've included it below. 

Hey Stupid Dipshit Mugu, 

This is "Roger Z. Naberhood", aka "John Smith". 
The first thing I want to say to you, is thank you 
for sending us gold, you STUPID ass. You are quite 
possible the STUPIDEST person walking the face of 
the Earth. You are STUPIDER than a fucking cow. 
You are goat's ass STUPID. Can you even tie your 
own shoes? Did your mommy drop you when you were 
a baby? Whatever you do, don't have children. They 
would be STUPIDER than you, and that is something no 
human being should have to endure. 

I hope you feel STUPID and ANGRY and ASHAMED and EMBARRASED. 
I hope that now you understand how the people you trick out 
of money feel about you. I am very happy because you got a 
taste of your own medicine. 

I know how incredibly STUPID you are, so I'm going to tell you 
this in small, easy words so you can understand. We know you 
are a scammer. We knew all along that you are a scammer. 
Multi-million dollar gold deals do not begin by sending a 
complete stranger an e-mail. Your "company" doesn't check out. 
There is absolutely no information whatsoever on your "company". 
There are plenty of legitimate gold mining companies operating 
in Ghana, why would anyone want to deal with one that doesn't 
exist? Your "official documents" looked like something an 8 year 
old child with no brain made in art class. We knew all along you 
were a STUPID scammer. You tried to run a typical "419" scam,
 but you were too STUPID to follow the guidelines and the script. 
You were so STUPID, you didn't even know how to run your own scam. 
So, instead of you scamming us, we scammed you. 

By the way, you should be proud to know that you have been scammed 
out of more than any other 419 scammer in the world! You are part 
of a world record! You are officially the STUPIDEST 419 scammer in 
the world!! I hope that makes you feel better about yourself! 

I'll bet everyone who knows you is laughing at you, because you are 
so STUPID. Are they calling you a STUPID MUGU?? Because that is 
exactly what you are, a STUPID FUCKING DIPSHIT MUGU!! Is your wife 
so ashamed of you, that she is in bed with your friends giving them 
sex, but will not give you sex? Does your mother refuse to call you 
her son, because she is ashamed to have given birth to someone so 
STUPID? If your father knew you were his son, he would cut off his 
own penis with a rusty saw blade! 

This summer, when I am with my friends, and we are drinking that 
ice cold, delicious beer that you so graciously provided for us, 
I will be thinking of you! I will raise my glass and toast your 
incredible STUPIDITY! I'll tell my friends how easy it was to make 
a complete fool out of you, and we will all laugh at you, and make 
jokes about what a STUPID MUGU you are. 

Once again, I would just like to say how incredibly STUPID you are. 
I know that has been said many times, but it is so true, that it 
should be said again and again. You are truly a STUPID fool. You 
should stay away from the computer and go back to being a sheepherder. 
You are too STUPID to do anything else. 

Thank you again for the gold, you STUPID FUCKING MUGU!! 

Pierpont suspects he'll never hear from his pal KaFool again.