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Dr. Hilman Egobia From : <hilgobia@jumpy.it> Sent : Thursday, October 21, 2004 2:01 PM Subject : MUTUAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION PROPOSAL MUTUAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION PROPOSAL Received: from mail.jumpy.it ([213.215.144.9]) FROM THE DESK OF DR HILMAN EGOBIA OMPADEC HEAD QUARTERS LAGOS -NIGERIA PLEASE SEND YOUR RESPONCE TO : hilgobiang@luxmail.com ATTN: STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL Dear Sir, I am the Chief Scribe of the Newly Constituted OMPADEC (Oil Minerals producing Area Development Commission) This commission was reconstituted in 1998 by the Federal Government of Nigeria as a result of consistent Environmental Neglect agitated by the Oil and Minerals Producing States. This commission received a budgetary allocation of US$1.150 Billion for Environmental Maintenance/Management of Oil producingstates for the 2003/2004 Fiscal Year. In view of the present political situation in our country, I have agreed with my colleagues to withdraw the sum of US$35 Million (Thirty-five Million U. S. Dollars) as an Over-Invoice of a contract we awarded for the Environmental Maintenance. All modalities to ensure a hitch-free transfer of this fund into your account through the officials of Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) and Federal Ministry of Finance have been properly worked out. Note: There is no risks or dangers involved. N/B: I have agreed with my colleagues that after the business, you should keep 30% of the total fund; my colleagues and myself will take 65% while the remaining 5% is mapped out to cover the international and local expenses that might be incurred by both parties in the course of this transaction. If this proposal interest you of which I hope it would, please forward to me immediately the followings by e-mail address above. 1. Full company's Name and Address 2. Private telephone and fax numbers 3. Your full bank name and address 4. Bank account number, account name, telephone and fax numbers As soon as we receive the above information's from you, we shall immediately file up applications for approvals and payment following. NOTE: You must maintain the topmost confidentiality of this transaction because we are top civil servants who would not joke with our reputation. Thanks. Best Regards, DR HILMAN EGOBIA PLEASE SEND YOUR RESPONCE TO : hilgobiang@luxmail.com Lewd Noogie Sent: Tuesday, October 26, 2004 Mr. Egobia, I believe this was sent to me by mistake. Lewis D. Noogie Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Tuesday, October 26, 2004 5:21 PM Subject : DEAR LEWIS NOOGIE./MUTUAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION PROPOSAL DEAR LEWIS NOOGIE. YOUR MAIL OF 25TH REFERS. PLEASE BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION PROPOSAL WAS INTENDED FOR YOU. AND NOT A MISTAKE. I HOPE TO BUILDING A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU AND I FURTHER HOPE TO RECEIVE THE PARTICULARS SO THAT I CAN APPLY FOR THE FUND APPROVAL BY TOMMORROW. REGARDS. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 Dr. Egobia, I don't understand how you found me. If this deal is for real and you can provide some kind of documentary evidence, I would be more than happy to assist you. Sincerely, Lewis D. Noogie Dr. Hilman Egobia Date: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 10:50 AM Dear Lewis, As soon as the application is completed and I lay my hands on the exchange approval or the payment schedule I will send same for your perusal. However, what is important now is the required particulars for the application. Therefore I hope to receive the particulars later today. Regards, Hilman. Lewd Noogie Sent: Thursday, October 28, 2004 Dr. Egobia, I presume by 'particulars' you are referring to my own. Following is the information you requested earlier: 1. Full company's Name and Address Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc. c/o Hotel Bolshoi Shutka 10, Huisos Ulitsa Kiev, Republic of Georgia 2. Bank Account information: Credit to: Bank of Cyprus Swiftcode: BCYPCY2N030 Favor: Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc. Account No. USD 0385-40-06-074094 3. Private Telephone No.: I am a hotel management consultant and much, if not most, of my time is spent travelling throughout Eastern Europe to provide management and consulting services to hotels (you may have heard of the recent 'Blue Ice' lawsuit brought by one of the hotels here in Novosibirsk, Latvia against Lot Polish Airlines. I and my partners were instrumental in the hotel winning a considerable award for damages in that case and it received considerable news coverage in this part of Europe). I maintain a small office in the Hotel Bolshoi Shutka in Kiev, Georgia, but my time spent there varies considerably and is at best uncertain. I mention this because I have a binding agreement with my partners that I will accept no form of outside employement while I am a member of our firm. My partners have pretty much complete access to all of my communications except for my personal email account. In other words, I'm afraid that our correspondence will have to be restricted to email, at least for the short term, to preserve the security of my position with my firm. My ex-wife broke me of the habit of carrying a mobile phone - she used it like a homing torpedo to always know my whereabouts. I got rid of it when I got rid of her. I'll see what I can do about setting up a private phone here and will let you know when I have accomplished this. Sincerely, Lewis D. Noogie Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: ACKNOWLEDGEMENT/PLEASE GET A PRIVATE PHONE AND FAX MACHINE Date: Thursday, October 28, 2004 7:20 AM DEAR LEWIS D.NOOGIE, I THANK YOU FOR THE DEDICTION YOU HAVE SHOWN IN THIS TRANSACTION AND I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL BE RICHLY REWARDED ON RECEIPT OF THIS FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. I THEREFORE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE INFORMATION AS REQUESTED. I WILL BE FOREWARDING SAME FOR PROCESSING ,APPLICATION AND APPROVAL BY TODAY AT THE APPROPRIATE MINISTRIES. PLEASE I WANT TO USE THIS MEDIUM TO PLEAD WITH YOU TO ALWAYS BE IN CONTACT AND CORRESPONDENCE WITH ME SO THAT WE CAN BOTH WORK OUT THINGS AND GET THIS FUND WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT ON SECURING THE FUND RELEASE. I ASSURE YOU THAT I WILL DO ALL I CAN TO GET THIS FUND APPROVED AND PROCESS OVER HERE AND HOPE THAT YOU WILL RECIPROCATE AND DO ALL YOUR BEST SO THAT THIS FUND BE WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT SO THAT I CAN COME OVER TO MAKE USE OF MY OWN SHARE OR INVEST WITH YOU IF THE NEED BE IN ANY BUSINESS OF YOUR ADVICE AND YOU GET YOUR 30% WHICH IS YOURS FOR ENTEREING INTO THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME. PLEASE MR LEWIS D.NOOGIE,I AM DOING ALL THIS IN TRUST AND BELIEVING THAT YOU WILL SHOW HIGH LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING, HONESTY, DEDICATION AND CORPERATION IN THIS TRANSACTION. LASTLY, I ADVICE THAT YOU ALWAYS SEEK MY ADVICE IN THIS TRANSACTION AND DO ALL I WILL TELL TOU TO DO. ONCE AGAIN, I EXPECT A HIGH LEVEL OF MATURITY FROM YOU IN THIS TRANSACTION. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED WITH ALL DEVELOPMENTS AND I HOPE THAT BY NEXT WEEK THAT THE FUND WILL BE APPROVED AND WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT BASE ON THE ADVICE OF THE PAYING OFFICE. PLEASE FOR SECURITY REASONS, I WILL ADVICE YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION CONFIDENTIAL TILL THE FUND IS WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. HOPING TO BUILD A VERY STRONG BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU IN THE FUTURE. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT NB: PLEASE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BUY/GET A PRIVATE PHONE AND FAX FOR OUR ADDTIONAL CORRESPONDENCE AND TO ALSO HELP THE PAYING OFFICE ADVICE YOU ON THE PAYMENT MODALITIES. PLEASE THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. REGARDS AND GOD BLESS. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Date: Thursday, October 28, 2004 Dr. Egobia, Please don't worry about my dedication to this venture. You have my account information and can transfer the fund at your leisure. Since it looks like we're going to be business partners, I'd like to know a little bit about you from a social aspect. Please tell me a little bit about yourself, such as: 1. Are you married? 2. Do you have any kids? 3. What sort of things do you like to do when you're not working. You know, any hobbies? You already know that I'm divorced, and I had no kids. I'm currently seeing Olga, the East German massage therapist that works here at the hotel I'm currently consulting to. She's an Anna Kornakova look-alike, except about six inches shorter and about 160 pounds heavier. Very attractive girl. In my spare time I'm an avid small game hunter. Nothing I like better than being out in a quiet forest somewhere, breating the fresh air, and waiting for some small furry creature to pop his head up out of his burrow so I can take it off. I always come back home very relaxed after a hunting trip. I guess it's kind of a zen thing. Ok, keep me informed of anything that happens at your end. By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.) Lewd By the way Hilman, we gotta do something about that caps lock key; it's driving me nuts. Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Thursday, October 28, 2004 6:29 PM Subject : I WILL LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU DEAR LEWD, I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO READ FROM YOU. I HOPE THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP BE FOREVER. BE INFORMED THAT IT IS THE PAYING OFFICE THAT WILL ADVICE YOU ON THE PAYMENT MODALITIES AS SOON AS THE FUND EXCHANGE APPROVAL IS SECURED AND NOT MYSELF OK. AS REGARDS TO MY SOCIAL LIFE, I AM MARRIED WITH THREE KIDS.( TWO BOYS AND A GIRL). MY HOBBY IS RELAXATION, LISTENING TO MUSIC AND SOMETIMES PLAYING LONG TENNIS. PLEASE LEWD, ONCE AGAIN I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU GET YOUR PERSONAL PHONE AND FAX ASAP AS THE PAYING OFFICE MAY CONTACT YOU VIA THIS MEDIUM .MORESO I WILL LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU OK. CAN YOU CALL ME ON MY PHONE? I AWAIT YOUR PERSONAL PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS HILMAN Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: HOPE YOU ARE FINE TODAY. Date: Friday, October 29, 2004 7:31 AM DEAR LEWD, HOPE YOU ARE FINE TODAY. I ALSO HOPE THAT YOU RECEIVED MY EMAIL AS PER MY SOCIAL LIFE AND MY REQUEST FOR YOU TO BUY/INSTALL YOUR PERSONAL PHONE AND FAX. PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO IDENTIFY YOU. CAN YOU SEND YOUR PICTURE/PASSPORT FOR MY ATTENTION. I WILL ALSO SEND MINE TO YOU. PLEASE DO BUY YOUR PHONE AND FAX AND ALSO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALL ME ON MY PHONE?. ADVICE. NB: I AM CURRENTLY LOBBYING THE OFFICIALS TO APPROVE THE FUND AND I HOPE THAT BY NEXT WEEK THAT THE PAYING OFFICE WILL ADVICE YOU ON THE PAYMENT MODALITIES. HAPPY WEEKEND. HILMAN Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: URGENT Date: Monday, November 1, 2004 5:54 PM DEAR LEWD, I HOPE YOU ARE OK. WHY HAVE I NOT READ FROM YOU. PLEASE KEEP ME POSTED. HAVE YOU BOUGHT THE PHONE AND FAX MACHINE? PLEASE FORWARD THE NUMBERS ASAP. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent: Tuesday, November 2, 2004 Hilman, Everything is good here. I guess I didn't explain very well about my situation here regarding communications. My partners and I have an "Open Communications" policy where they have access to virtually all my communications with exception of this email address that I maintain for my personal use, and I have access to theirs. If you were to call or fax something here at my business number and one of them were to find out about it, it would jeopardize my position here. I have the same problem calling out of the hotel as I have to go through the hotel operator and sometimes the operators listen in on the calls. That said, on Wednesday I fly to Russia for a consultation with a hotel in Tblisi, a small resort town just outside of Moscow. I plan on being there about a week and there is a number there where you can contact me after Wednesday, 7-095-728-8980. This is a private number that I maintain at the hotel. Please keep me informed. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: A PERSONAL PHONE AND FAX AT HOME FOR THIS PURPOSE IS NEEDED Date: Tuesday, November 2, 2004 7:44 AM DEAR LEWD, YOUR POINT IS NOTED BUT HOW WILL THE PAYING OFFICE CONTACT YOU FOR THE FUND CLAIM. THAT OBVIOUSLY IS MY CONCERN. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION. I SUGGEST YOU TRY AND GET A PERSONAL PHONE AND FAX AT HOME FOR THIS PURPOSE OK. LASTLY I HOPE THAT BY THIS WEEK THAT THE FUND APPROVAL WILL BE SECURED AND I IMPLORE YOU TO FOLLOW UP AND ALWAYS INFORM ME AS SOON AS YOU ARE CONTACTED FOR NECESSARY ADVICE OK. PLEASE DO THIS AND KEEP ME POSTED.I AWAIT YOUR MAIL TO THIS REGARD. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent: Wednesday, November 3, 2004 Hilman, Nice to hear from you as usual. Hilman, I still don't think you fully understand my situation here. I can't get a phone or fax for my home because when I am consulting to a hotel my home IS the hotel. The paying office can contact me through email - this is how things are done these days. Hilman, my friend, this is the electronic age - everything is done through computers. I'm leaving work early today. Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel wants to take me sightseeing around Novosibirsk. It will be the first time I've had a few hours off since I got here, and I need to get away from this place for awhile. The hotel here is wanting to flood part of their lobby to turn it into a giant aquarium and I'm trying to convince them that it's not a very good idea. They lose power here several times every winter and I fear they will end up with a huge block of ice in the lobby. They just don't want to listen to me though. Don't forget, tomorrow I leave for Russia. I will still be in constant touch via email, so let me know if anything happens. Lewd Lewd Noogie Sent: Friday, November 5, 2004 Hilman, Today is Friday and I havent heard from you since Tuesday. Can you give me an update on what's happening, please. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: DEVELOPMENT Date: Friday, November 5, 2004 7:33 AM DEAR LEWD, THE APPROVAL IS OUT SINCE ON THURSDAY. I HOPE THAT THE PAYING OFFICE WILL BE CONTACTING YOU FOR THE PAYMENT MODALITIES. HOWEVER, I STILL ADVICE THAT YOU BUY A PERSONAL PHONE AND FAX MACHINE AND SEND SAME TO ME AS THE PAYING OFFICE MAY CONTACT YOU THROUGH THIS MEDIUM. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND AND ACT ACCORDIGNLY. I AWAIT YOUR MAIL. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Date: Saturday, November 6, 2004 Hilman, it's almost as if you're not reading my mail to you. I have explained the phone/fax situation to you a number of times now, but you still don't seem to grasp the circumstances of my situation here. I explained to you about the open communications policy I have with my partnership. I also explained that I am living in hotels that I consult to. I do my personal banking all over the world with email alone and I don't understand why it can't be done this time. Hilman, banks are quite used to conducting their business online these days. This is the 21st century, my friend, and things like faxes are seldom used anymore for this kind of thing. Anything that can be said can be sent in an email; anything that can be faxed can be sent as an email attachment. I'm sure the bank will tell you the exact same thing. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 7:33 AM Subject : urgent Dear lewd, Ok. i hope that the paying office understands. be informed that the fund approval is out. please advice me if the paying office has contacted you so that i can guide and advice you. I await your responce immediately because my contact informed me that payment to foreign contractors is in progress now. I await your mail. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 Hilman, I was beginning to wonder what happened to you. Happy to see you got the old caps lock unstuck. No, I haven't heard anything from anybody By the way, what exactly is this "paying office"? Are they part of an agency of some kind, or a bank? Is this part of the Central Bank of Nigeria? I just like to know who I'm working with. Rest assured that I am on hot standby and ready to move when this paying office finally does contact me. Lewd [The notice from the paying office actually had arrived but had ended up in in the junk folder...] Alihaji Yahaya From : Accountant General <fpac-info@accountant.com> Sent : Friday, November 5, 2004 8:12 AM X-Originating-IP: 62.0.29.153 FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE Office of the Accountant General Federal Secretariat Abuja Our Ref: AGO/FPAC/01/01 Your Ref: NNPC/OMPADEC/G-S02/2000 Date: 5th November,04 ATTENTION: Mr Lewis D. Noogie (Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc.) PAYMENT ADVICE ON CONTRACT NUMBER NNPC/G-S02/2000 VALUED $35.000,000.00 Sir, Following the exchange approval for the contract payment of Thirty Five Million, US Dollars in your favour (Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc.), you are hereby informed that your total contract sum will be paid by our off shore paying office CONTINENTAL OFFSHORE FINANCE LTD in LONDON. You are by this mail advised to confirm your full Banking details to avoid any error in the fund wire, telephone and fax numbers for further . You are advised to comply with all the directives,of the paying cordinator as this office will not be liable for any unclaimed fund whatsoever and always inform us of any problem . Lastly, acknowledge receipt of this mail and endevour to confirm this particulars withing 48 hours. Congratulations. ALHAJI YAHAYA Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, Below please find the banking particulars you recently requested per your reference AGO/FPAC/01/01: 1. Full company's Name and Address Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc. c/o Hotel Bolshoi Shutka 10, Huisos Ulitsa Kiev, Republic of Georgia 2. Bank Account information: Credit to: Bank of Cyprus Swiftcode: BCYPCY2N030 Favor: Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc. Account No. USD 0385-40-06-074094 Please let me know if any further information is required. Sincerely, Lewis D. Noogie Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 Hilman, Good news my friend. I DID receive something from the Ministry of Finance but it had ended up in my junkmail box. I found it when I was cleaning out all the spam I received last week. They requested my banking particulars which I promptly sent along. Barring any complications, they should have the money transferred this week. You stated earlier that you would be coming to Latvia to retrieve your share of the fund. I would say go ahead and make your travel arrangements and let me know the particulars this week. I'll set you up with delux accomodations at the hotel I'm consulting to there. I've got another little surprise for you. Olga, the East German massage therapist at the hotel has a younger sister, Oxnard. I mentioned that I had a business partner who would be coming to Novosibirsk and she's very excited to meet you. I know you're married and all but this is something you don't want to pass up. She's built like her sister, a tad on the stocky side. Ok, she's a LOT on the stocky side, but cute. Sort of. Anyhow, I hope you like big girls! So things are looking good. Let me know when we can expect you. Your pal, Lewd Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 11:19 AM Subject : MANDATORY FEE PAYMENT FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE Office of the Accountant General Federal Secretariat Abuja Our Ref: AGO/FPAC/01/01 Your Ref: NNPC/OMPADEC/G-S02/2000 Date: 8th November,04 ATTENTION: Mr Lewis D. Noogie (Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc.) PAYMENT ADVICE ON CONTRACT NUMBER NNPC/G-S02/2000 VALUED $35.000,000.00 Sir, Be informed that you are required to make a mandatory payment of Three thousand five hundred US dollars only( $3,500.00) being payment for handling and processing fees to this office . This fee payment is required to facilitate your fund remittance to your nominated bank accont in Cyprus as your fund of US$35,000,000.00 is BONDED for your/our interest as such no deduction/addition is possible. You are to receive in full US$35,000,000.00 You are to make this payment in favour of the Accountant general withng 72 hours by western union money transfer as follows: Name: Mr John Ibe Address: Lagos Nigeria On receipt of this fee payment, your total contract sum will be wired by telegraphic transfer to your account. Congratulations. ALHAJI YAHAYA Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I received your notice regarding the handling and processing fee. I find this to be somewhat of an irregular practice, something I've never encountered before. It seems rather extreme for what could not have taken more than 15 minutes on your part. However, I am prepared to pay the fee upon receipt of your formal invoice. Please scan and attach to your next email. I would also point out that you neglected to include your establishment's pay-to account number. Please forward this to me at your earliest convenience. Thank you. Lewis D. Noogie Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 5:50 PM DEAR LEWD, I AM VERY HAPPY TO READ THAT THE PAYING OFFICE HAS CONTACTED YOU AS REGARDS TO THE FUND CLAIM. PLEASE I ADVICE THAT YOU FINALISE WITH THE OFFICE AND INFORM ME OF THE GOOD NEWS AS SOON AS THE FUND IS WIRED SO THAT I CAN MAKE PREPARATIONS FOR MY COMING TO MEET WITH YOU . I HOPE TO READ ALL THE UPDATES AND PLEASE FOLLOW UP AS I HAVE EXPENDED SO MUCH OVER HERE TO SEEING THAT THE FUND IS APPROVED. LEWD, PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU CONFIRM THE FUND IN YOUR ACCOUNT, KINDLY SEND ME SOME MONEY SO THAT I CAN MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR MY COMING AS I AM NOT HAVING MONEY NOW. REGARDS. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 8, 2004 Hilman, I got another communication from the Ministry of Finance asking for a $3,500 handling and processing fee. Seems a little strange, I've never heard of this kind of fee. They also did not send me a formal invoice or their pay-to account number. Anyhow, I wrote back to them and I'll keep you informed on how this progresses. I think we can still have it wrapped up this week. You didn't answer my question about the timing of your trip here. Have you made flight reservations? When can we expect you? Oxnard, Olga's younger sister, is beside herself with excitement about you coming here. In your next email to me would you mind writing a few words to her? Thanks pal. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Tuesday, November 9, 2004 7:40 AM Subject : THANKING YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND CORPERATION DEAR LEWD, I AM GRATEFUL FOR YOUR EFFORTS AND CONCERN IN THIS TRANSACTION SO FAR ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE FUND WILL BE WIRED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. AS REGARDS TO YOUR MAIL, I THINK THE PAYING OFFICE MAY NOT HAVE USED THE FUND FOR PROFIT DUE TO THE TIMING THE FUND WAS APPROVED. MAYBE THAT IS WHY THE NEED FOR THE FEES. ALSO AS REGARSD TO THE INVOICE, YOU DID NOT INFORM ME ON THE METHOD OF THE FEE PAYMENT. WHERE YOU ASKED TO MAKE THE PAYMENT BY WESTERN UNION OR INTO AN ACCOUNT? PLEASE ADVICE. I HOWEVER, THANK YOU FOR ASSURING ME THAT BY THIS WEEK THAT YOU WILL GET THIS TRANSCATION FINALISED AND THE FUND WIRED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE FORWARDED YOUR BANKING DETAILS TO THE PAYING OFFICE TO AVOID ANY ERROR AND WHEN PRECISELY WILL THE FUND BE WIRED? AS REGARDS TO MY TRIP, I HOPE TO MEET WITH YOU BY NEXT WEEK WEDNESDAY UPON CONFIRMATION BY YOU THAT THE FUND IS WIRED. I THINK THIS WILL BE OK. I AM YET TO MAKE THE RESERVATIONS AS I AM PRESENTLY NOT BOUYANT. HOWEVER, I HAVE MET WITH A TRAVEL AGENT WHO INFORMED ME THAT I MAY SPEND ABOUT $10,000-12000 FOR TICKETING, RESERVATIONS AND AIR FARE AND THIS IS WHY I AM EXPECTING YOU TO SEND SOME MONEY TO ME FOR THIS PURPOSE AS SOON AS THE FUND IS WIRED. PLEASE TELL OXNALD SISTER THAT I AM VERY EAGER TO MEET WITH HER AND I HOPE THAT SHE IS LOVELY. LASTLY LEWD, I PLEAD WITH YOU TO ENDEVOUR TO FINALISE WITH THE PAYING OFFICE OK BY MAKING THIS PAYMENT AT MOST THIS WEEK SO THAT ALL OUR EFFORST CAN BE A THING OF JOY AS THIS TRANSACTION IS MY LIFE. THANKING YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND CORPERATION. PLEASE FOLLOW UP I EXPECT THE GOOD NEWS ASAP. HILMAN NB: PLEASE LEWD, I ADVICE YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL AS BEFORE ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE FUND WILL BE WIRED OK Lewd Noogie Sent : Tuesday, November 9, 2004 Hilman, my brother, Let me tell you something about financial institutions - even if your money is only there for a DAY they will use it to make a profit. That's how they earn their money. This 'handling and processing' fee is something I've never heard of before. It's good to hear you can be here by Wednesday, and we'll have a place set up for you when you arrive. I think the travel agency that you're dealing with is trying to cheat you. There's no way it will cost 10 - 12 thousand dollars to fly from Nigeria to Latvia. No way! It should not cost you more than about $1,500. Find a new travel agent. I'm still waiting for Mr. Yahaya to send me their pay-to account number and formal invoice. Hopefully they will arrive later today, and I will go online and make the transfer. Mr. Yahaya doesn't seem to be very experienced in these matters as he suggested that I use Western Union to wire the money. He obviously doesn't realize that Finance Ministries don't work this way. I promise I will be patient with him. Oxnard is ecstatic that you said hello to her. She's very anxious to spend some 'quality' time with you. Alone. Be careful, Hilman! Ok, I'll keep you updated. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Tuesday, November 9, 2004 1:43 PM Subject : PLEASE ENDEVOUR TO ABIDE TO MR YAHAYAS INSTRUCTION AND FINALISE ASAP DEAR LEWD, THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR QUICK REPLY. PLEASE WHATEVER, HAPPENS, I AM SURE THAT WITH YOU BY MY SIDE THAT THIS SAID FEE WILL NOT MAKE US NOT TO CLAIM THIS FUND ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE FUND IS AWAITING CLAIM BY YOU PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU FINALISE WITH THE PAYING OFFICE , INFORM ME SO THAT I CAN FLY OVER AND INVEST/ SHARE THE FUND WITH YOU OK. I PROMISE TO COMPENSATE YOU FOR THE TIME AND EFFORTS DEDICATED IN THIS TRANSACTION FROM MY OWN SHARE OK. I WILL BE MEETING WITH ANOTHER AGENT ON THE ISSUE OF MY RESERVATION AS ADVICED. HOWEVER, AS REGARDS TO THE FEE PAYMENT, I WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT BY WESTERN UNION AS ADVICED BY MR YAHAYA AS THIS IS FASTER OVER HERE. MAY BE THAT IS THE REASON WHY YOU WERE ASKED TO DO SO. OR WHAT DO YOU THINK?. I ALSO HOPE THAT BY LATTER TODAY THAT YOU WILL BE FURNISHING ME WITH THE GOOD NEWS OF THE FUND WIRE ON FINALISNG WITH MR YAHAYA I HOPE THAT YOU EFFECT THE PAYMENT OF THIS FEE WITHOUT ANY DELAY AS MR YAHAYA DIRECTS TO BE ON A SAFER SIDE. MY REGARDS TO OXNARD AND HER SISTER. I HOPE TO BE WITH THEM BY WEDNESDAY ALL THINGS BEEN EQUAL. NB: PLEASE HANDLE THIS ISSUE OF FEE PAYMENT WITH MR YAHAYA WITH CAUTION SO THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY REASON TO DELAY THE FUND WIRE OK. FOLLOW UP. REGARDS. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Tuesday, November 9, 2004 Hilman, Relax, my friend. I'm here to help you. You're absolutely right, we need to handle this issue of fee payment with caution. The more I think about it the more I believe that Mr. Yahaya is new at this business. This is why I asked him for a formal invoice and the bank's pay-to account number. I want to make sure that we have all the proper documentation and it's much faster for me to make the payment online than it is to use Western Union. For one thing, there is no Western Union office here in Novosibirsk. Plus, once I have their pay-to account, I can transfer the money at the touch of a button. I do this sort of thing all the time. Don't worry, we'll have the money very shortly if Mr. Yahaya does his job correctly. Uh, we need to talk about your statement about being with Oxnard AND her sister. Let's not get greedy, my brother. Olga is mine. Your going to have your hands full just dealing with Oxnard. She hasn't had a boyfriend in about four years and she's ready to gnaw the knobs off a dresser drawer. I hope you're in good physical shape, 'cause you're going to need every bit of strength you've got to survive what she's gonna put you through. Hopefully I'll hear from the bank tomorrow. I'll let you know. Lewd Alihaji Yahaya Subj: MANDATORY FEE PAYMENT/ACCOUNT CORDINATE Date: Tuesday, November 9, 2004 1:08 PM FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE Office of the Accountant General Federal Secretariat Abuja Our Ref: AGO/FPAC/01/01 Your Ref: NNPC/OMPADEC/G-S02/2000 Date: 9th November,04 ATTENTION: Mr Lewis D. Noogie (Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc.) PAYMENT ADVICE ON CONTRACT NUMBER NNPC/G-S02/2000 VALUED $35.000,000.00 Sir, Your mail of today the 9th of November 2004 refers. Be informed that the essence of the fee is to process and for the handling charges by this office as stated in the last mail to you. Payment of this fee is mandatory to all foreign customers/contractors of your category. Be further informed that you were asked to make this payment via western union money transfer in favour of MR JOHN IBE the account officer as this is quicker and faster so that on confirmation of the fee payment by today or tomorrow, your total contract sum of $35m will be wired by telegraphic transfer into your nominated Bank account without delay. However, if it wil not be possible for you to pay the fee by western union via the name of the Account officer You can immediately pay this fee to this available cordinate and send the evidence/receipt without any delay for the issuance of the required invoice to you followed by the immediate wire of your fund without delay Below is the cordinate: BANK OF NEW YORK. CR TO A/C NO: 803-3380-748 OF HABIB BANK. DIERA, DXB.UID:097- 211 SWIFT CODE: HBZU-AEAD A/C NAME: SIROYA JWL LLC A/C NO:020101-20311-105-113931 FFC: M.BELANI [DXB = Dubai Airport] Once again Congratulations Alhaji Yahaya Lewd Noogie Sent: Tuesday, November 9, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I received your correspondence that included your pay-to account coordinates, for which I thank you. This will greatly ease the payment process for me as I will be able to do it online from my office. However, you neglected to include a scanned copy of your formal invoice as I requested. This will be necessary for record and tax purposes as I'm sure you are aware. Please scan and send at your earliest convenience. Sincerely Lewis D. Noogie Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR ASSURANCE Date: Tuesday, November 9, 2004 3:01 PM DEAR LEWD, THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR ASSURANCE. OK I HOPE THAT MY YAHAYA FORWARDS THE PAY-TO ACCOUNT AS YOU REQUESTED SO THAT YOU FINALISE THAT AND THE FUND WIRED. I ASSURE YOU THAT I WILL NOT TRESPASS TO OLGA OK. I WILL MAKE DO WITH HER SISTER OXNALD. PLEASE I AN HOPING AND RELLYING ON YOU AND I HOPE THAT I WILL HEAR THE GOOD NEWS ASAP MY GREETINGS TO HET. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Date: Tuesday, November 9, 2004 Hilman, my friend, I heard this morning from Mr. Yahaya. He sent me the pay-to account coordinates as I requested but he neglected to attach a scan of the formal invoice. I explained the importance of having this document to him and I expect he'll send it along later today. It does concern me, though, that he would forget to send it. It all points to what I said before, i.e., that our Mr. Yahaya is not very experienced in these matters. Let's just hope he doesn't screw things up. We're very close, my friend. Make those flight reservations for next week. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Wednesday, November 10, 2004 8:15 AM Subject : PLEASE I AM VERY EAGER TO HEARING THE GOOD NEWS. DEAR LEWD, GOOD MORNING. I HOPE YOU ARE FINE. HOW IS OLGA AND OXNALD? HOPE THEY ARE FINE. PLEASE HAVE YOU HEARD FROM MR YAHAYA? HAS HE SENT YOU THE PAY-TO ACCOUNT FOR THE FEES? HAVE YOU MADE THE PAYMENT? WHEN WILL THE FUND BE IN YUOR ACCOUNT? I HOPE BY THE WEEK PLEASE I AM VERY EAGER TO HEARING THE GOOD NEWS. FOLLOW UP AND WASTE NO TIME TO FINALISE THIS AND DO KEEP ME POSTED REGARDS. HILMAN s Lewd Noogie Sent : Wednesday, November 10, 2004 Hilman, I just sent you a note but forgot to address your question about Olga and Oxnard. I know you said you were eager for the good news about them. Both are fine, my friend, and Oxnards excitement over your impending arrival knows no bounds. She's getting her hair fixed today, and has a couple more heavy-duty sessions at the beauty parlor scheduled over the weekend. When I told her that I was making arrangements for you at the hotel she insisted that you stay with her. She has even started cleaning her apartment, but that's gonna take a couple of days and some heavy construction equipment. She's not what you would call the tidiest person in Latvia. On the contrary, her place usually looks like it's been used for indoor hand grenade practice. I think your coming here is just what she needs to change her lifestyle. I'm really excited for both of you! Hilman, please do take the time to make your flight arrangements and let us know when we can expect you. Regards, Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Wednesday, November 10, 2004 2:44 PM Subject : THANKS FOR YOUR UPDATE DEAR LEWD, THANKS FOR YOUR UPDATE. PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU PROCEED AND MAKE THE PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY BY TODAY TO THE PAY ACCOUNT AS GIVEN BY MR YAHAYA SO THAT THE FUND CAN BE WIRED WITHOUT ANY EXCUSE OK. I THINK WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THE FEE PAYMENT AND THE FUND WIRE FOR OUR MUTUAL BENEFIT. SHOULD HE NOT SEND THE INVOICE AS YOU REQUESTED, I ADVICE YOU PROCEED AND MAKE THE PAYMENT WITHOUT DELAY AS THIS IS WHAT IS DELAYING THE FUND WIRE NOW. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND. AS PER MY RESERVATIONS, I WILL BE DOING THAT BY TOMMORROW. TELL OXNALD THAT I WILL BE WITH HER SOONEST. HILMAN Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Wednesday, November 10, 2004 2:54 PM Subject : ATTENTION: Mr Lewis D. Noogie (Noogie, Dahmer & Assoc.) Sir, Be informed that all the necessary arrangement for your fund wire by telegraphic transfer to your account in Cyprus has been concluded. You are therefore adviced to make the fee payment via the Account cordinate and send proof/ receipt of payment for confirmation . The scanned invoice will be sent to you on confirmation of the fee payment by this office. Alhaji Yahaya Lewd Noogie Sent : Thursday, November 11, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I received your notice regarding the fee payment but I must confess to being somewhat confused. You state that the scanned formal invoice will be sent to me upon proof of fee payment. Mr. Yahaya, I think if you check with your supervisor you will find that it is standard business practice worldwide to send the invoice BEFORE payment is made. The invoice is a statement of what is owed, not what is payed. After I make the fee payment I will be expecting you to send me a receipt stating that payment has been made. I suspect that you are a young man who is new to the business world and I don't want you to be discouraged by this error as no harm has been done. Please scan the formal invoice and send it to me at your earliest convenience. Regards. Lewis D. Noogie Lewd Noogie Sent : Thursday, November 11, 2004 Hilman, my brother, how are you today? I can't tell you how excited Oxnard was when I read your last email to her. She's going out to buy new clothes to wear when we meet you at the airport, and she's started on a diet to loose some weight before you get here. She's already lost about half a kilo and she's down to a trim 289 lbs. I've never seen her like this before! I think we do have a real problem with our Mr. Yahaya. Hilman, he's trying to conduct this business ass-backwards. He said I had to pay the fee before he would send me the invoice. Have you ever heard of such a thing before?? I think we need to look at maybe easing Mr. Yahaya out of this transaction and replacing him with someone more experienced before he gets the modalities all dicked up. I'd appreciate if you could do a little investigating and use some of your influence to see about having him replaced. Let me know what you can do and Oxnard and I look forward to receiving your itinerary today. Lewd. Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:03 PM Subject : As requested Sir, As requested, all the necessary document/invoice will be sent to you. However, you should not dictate to me on how to handle your fund payment. I advice you to comply to the directives of this office to ensure that your fund is successfully wired to your account as any delay from your side will not amount to negligence from this office. Endevour to forward the evidence of the fee payment by tommorrow for onward processing Alhaji Yahaya Lewd Noogie Sent : Friday, November 12, 2004 8:37 AM Mr. Yahaya, Please understand that I was not trying to dictate your handling of the fund. It is, however, obvious to me that you are new to this kind of business and I was merely offering advice and encouragement. As I previously stated, I am prepared to pay this fee upon receipt of the formal invoice. I would, however, disagree with your statement that delay in receiving the fund will not amount to negligence from your office. There are acceptable ways of doing business and there are ways that are not acceptable. Paying for something before receiving an invoice is not acceptable. I am prepared to pay but you seem hesitant to provide the invoice so I would say that any delay is most certainly the responsibility of your office. So to reitterate, I shall pay the fee upon receipt of the formal invoice and immediately after payment or proof thereof I shall expect you to promptly send me a recipt. Regards, Lewis D. Noogie Lewd Noogie Sent : Friday, November 12, 2004 Hilman, I was expecting a reply to my last correspondence from you today. I received a note from Mr. Yahaya today and my concern over him has worsened. I'm pretty sure he is a simple clerk in the Finance Ministry who is trying to assume presponsibilities that he should not be allowed to assume. He is obviously oblivious to standard business practices and his demands are totally unacceptable. I would ask again that you try to see if there is something that can be done to have him replaced before he gets everything completely screwed up. A situation has developed with my company and the need for my percentage of this transaction has suddenly become critical. I cannot accept Mr. Yahaya's delays any further and ask you again to see what you can do at your end. Please try to get back to me today. Lewd [Yahaya sends the exchange approval, not an invoice] Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Friday, November 12, 2004 1:59 PM Subject : FMF APPROVAL/INVOICE ATTACHED FOR YOUR ATTENTION Sir, Attached is the Federal Ministry of Finance exhange approval in your favour as requested. Do accept my appology for this negligence on my part while I hope that on receipt of this document that you will forward this office with the evidence of the fee payment to the cordinate for immediate wire of your fund into your stated account in Cyprus Accept my appology and Congratulation Yours faithfully Alhaji Yahaya Lewd Noogie Sent : Saturday, November 13, 2004 Hilman, Why haven't I heard from you? Why are you not answering my correspondence? Hilman, I don't know what to do about this guy Yahaya. I'm telling you he's a complete moron. I asked him to send me the formal invoice and he sends me the exchange approval. He doesn't know the difference between an invoice and an exchange approval! Can you believe this?? This guy should not be anywhere near a transaction involving this much money. Look, let's do this - you said you were short on money, but you also said that you had colleagues who were working on this with you at your end. Get the $3,500 from them, go to the ministry and pay this fee. Be sure you get the invoice first BEFORE you pay. I can't believe someone can be as dick-headed as this guy Yahaya seems to be and he may have an ulterior motive for acting so stupid. After you pay the fee they can do the wire transfer to Cypress and we've got the money. Once I have the money I can send you all you need to get here. Please get back to me ASAP on this. I'll be watching the Cypress account next week and will let you know when the money arrives. Lewd ps - Oxnard sends her love. Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 12:03 PM Sir Please confirm receipt of the invoice sent to you on friday. Be informed that the evidence of the fee payment is yet to be received from you. You are adviced to comply accordinly ALHAJI YAHAYA Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I am sorry to say that I cannot confirm receipt of the formal invoice because you did not send it. You sent a copy of the exchange approval. Let me explain as precisely as I can what an invoice is. It is a statement of how much is owed and a detailed breakdown of the purpose of each charge. This is not what you sent. I'm sorry Mr. Yahaya, but my partner and I have decided that we must have someone from your organization who is more experienced in these manners. We are dealing with a very large sum of money here and these delays in producing something as simple as an invoice are totally unacceptable. Please be so kind as to forward to me the name and email address of your supervisor. Regards, Lewis D. Noogie [How long can it take to throw an invoice together??] Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 12:12 PM Subject : I AM VERY SAD OVER THIS LEWD, I AM VERY SAD OVER THIS. I DONT HAVE THE MONEY AT HAND AND MY COLLEGUE HAS TRAVELLED. I WILL ADVICE YOU HELP ESPECIALLY NOW. PROOVE YOUR DEDICATION NOW IN THIS TRANSACTION PLEASE. I HOPE YOU DONT WANT US TO LOOSE THIS FUND. PLEASE AND PLEASE PAY THIS FEE SINCE YOU HAVE IT AND DISREGARD EVERY MISTAKE OF YAHAYA OK. I HOPE TO READ THE GOOD NEWS. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 Hilman, my brother, are you nuts? What exactly do you mean, "disregard every mistake of Mr. Yahaya"? That would be the worst possible thing we could do! In the first place, I don't trust him, especially not with my $35,000,000! I mean, our $35,000,000. These kinds of mistakes can't be just accidental because nobody could be THAT stupid. I tell you he's up to no good! We have to have him replaced and I have told him as much. I asked him to send me the name and email address of his supervisor. When I receive it, I will arrange with the supervisor to have someone with more experience and talent put in charge of this transaction. Hilman, I have a finanacial problem with my company and I NEED the percentage you promised me. I can't tollerate any more of Yahaya's screw-ups. This thing will drag out another two months with him on the case. When I can get someone else assigned I'll let you know. In the meantime, it would still be quicker if you could just go over to the ministry and pay this damn fee, AFTER you get the invoice. You said your colleague was travelling; when does he get back? In your first letter you said you were working with "colleagues", meaning more than one; what about the other guy, doesn't he have any money? Do what you can from your end, Hilman, and I'll work on Yahaya's supervisor to get him replaced. I'll keep you informed from this end, you do the same from there. By the way, it's been 5 days since I last heard from you. Don't you think you should try to keep me informed a little better, or do you have something there in Lagos more important than $35,000,000? I'm sorry to be so terse but this guy Yahaya has really got me upset. We could have had this finished a long time ago if it weren't for him. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 5:23 PM Subject : DISREGARD THIS ERROR FROM MR YAHAYA LEWD, WHAT I MEAN IS THAT WITH THE EXCHANGE APPROVAL YOU SAID TO HAVE RECEIVED, I THINK WITH THAT WE HAVE NO PROBLEM. NOTE THAT I HAVE ENQUIRED AND I WAS TOLD THAT, THAT IS THE ONLY DOCUMENT TO BE GIVEN TO YOU AS A PROOF FOR THIS TRANSACTION FROM THAT MINISTRY. I THINK I KNOW THE RUDIMENTS OVER HERE THAN YOU DO. AS FOR THE %, IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU BUT IF WE DONT GET THIS TRANSACTION FINALISED AND THE FUND WIRED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, HOW COULD WE GET IT. SO I AM STILL ADVISING THAT YOU DISREGARD THIS ERROR FROM MR YAHAYA AND PAY THIS FEE SINCE YOU HAVE IT AND LEAVE THE REST FOR ME. NOTE THAT THIS PYMENT HAS A DEADLINE. SO PLEASE HELP AND GET THIS FEE PAID AS I AM NOT BOUYANT AT THE MOMENT DUE TO THE EXPENCES I INCURED TO FACILITATE THE FUND APPROVAL TO THIS STAGE. PLEASE HELP AS THIS IS THE ONLY HELP YOU CAN ACCORD NOW. I PROMISE TO COMPENSATE YOU ON THIS OK. LEWD, PLEASE AND PLEASE DELAY COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS OR DO WE LOOSE THIS FUND JUT BECAUSE OF THE FEE? YOU ARE MY HOPE PLEASE FOLLOW UP AND YOU WILL NOT REGRET. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 Hilman, I have seen too many large financial deals go bad because of lack of proper documentation, especially in this part of the world. There are tax and accounting implications involved here and the first thing the accountants are going to want to see is an invoice for the money paid out. Without it we can have major problems. Hilman, I'm a very successful businessman and I didn't get to where I am now by being sloppy and overlooking procedures. We MUST get that invoice before payment, and after payment we MUST get a receipt. That's just how these things work. I still want to get that Yahaya guy replaced. He did not send me his supervisor's name and email address as I requested and it's because he doesn't want his supervisor to know what he's up to. He's telling me that every other contractor is paying this fee without invoice and I know that's a lie. No contractor will pay a kopek without an invoice. With your position you should be able to get me the name and address of his supervisor. Please try and get that to me today so we can get this finished. Lewd Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 7:09 PM Subject : ATTN; Mr Lewis D. Noogie ATTN; Mr Lewis D. Noogie The said document (exchange approval ) is the only document that you are to have from this office as every others will be sent to you by the paying bank immdiately instruction is issued on your behalf . Be inform also that this is the procedure attainable in this office as you are not the only foreign contractor/customer so owed.Others have complied and get thier funds wired and yours will not be an exception. Be further informed that all payment for this quarter will soon come to end to enable this office audits its various accounts for the year. Failure to follow the procedure and further delay will be yours. You are to foreward to this office evidence of the fee payment without delay to enable us process and wire your fund by TT. ALHAJI YAHAYA Lewd Noogie Sent : Monday, November 15, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, You have again disregarded my reasonable request for an invoice, and have once again delayed successful completion of this transaction. Your inaction is bordering on criminal and I must therefor once again ask you for the name and email address of your supervisor. Please be informed that my partner and I are considering legal action against you if you fail to comply with this request. Lewis D. Noogie [Caps lock off, different writing style. I'm guessing Hilman suffers from multiple personalities , all of them scammers...] Dr. Hilman Egobia Date: Tuesday, November 16, 2004 9:27 AM Dear Lewis, What you fail to understand is that we had mapped out ways for a successful/smooth wire of the fund into your nominated account. The secured exchange approval was facilitated by a colleague in the finance ministry. It will be difficult for Yahaya to understand your demand, because as a contractor you must have your pro-formal invoice which was submitted to the (CONTRACT AWARD COMMITTEE) body that is empowered to award contracts. It is this committee that schedule payments for the approved contract and forward same to the Federal Ministry of Finance for exchange approval. Dear Lewis, it happened that you do not understand what and what we have done in order to get this fund approved on your behalf. I will appeal that you do the necessary by acting according to the directives of the office of the ACCOUNTANT GENERAL where Yahaya is a Director so that your name will be included among those to be paid within the week. Please dear, I will advise that you be guided on your words/demands from Yahaya to avoid any suspicion as regards the claim. Please understand the nature of this transaction and abide by my words and go ahead and make the payment as demanded by the ministry. I will appreciate your understanding and cooperation. Hilman. Lewd Noogie Date: Tuesday, November 16, 2004 Hilman, You're telling me that this clown Yahaya is the DIRECTOR of the Accountant General office?? Tell me you're joking! Hilman, this nitwit couldn't direct a pissup in a brewery! Look, I HAVE the money to pay this damn fee. I am READY to pay this damn fee. All I ask for is a proper, legal, formal invoice that states how much I am to pay, for what I'm paying, and to whom I'm paying it to. It's very simple and it's STANDARD BUSINESS PRACTICE ALL OVER THE WORLD! EVEN IN NIGERIA! I have put way too much money into this transaction already and I'm not going to put any more into this if I can't get the paperwork that I'm SUPPOSED to get. We can go back to the original deal - when you first wrote to me you said all you needed was an account to put the money into. Nothing was said about me having to pay fees anyhow. The account is there for you to use at your leasure. If I can't get a simple piece of paper that the LAW REQUIRES YAHAYA TO GIVE ME, then you figure out how to pay the fee. My account is still there for your use, my friend. Let me know what you decide. Lewd ps - I still say Yahaya should be fired and deported. [Caps lock on - Personality No. 1 (the whiney one) is back...] Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: PLEASE WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY. Date: Wednesday, November 17, 2004 8:09 AM DEAR EWD, PLEASE WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY. ALL THIS ARGUEMENT WILL NOT SOLVE THIS ISSUES. YES, YOU ARE RIGHT WITH ALL YOUR DOINGS BUT MR YAHAYA IS DELAYING THIS. YOU AND I MAY NOT KNOW WHY. I HOPE HE IS NOT TRYING TO DIVERT THIS FUND ANYWAY. LISTEN HE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN RELEASE THE FUND BY VIRTUE OF HIS PORTFOLIO. SO PLEASE DISREGARD ALL HIS SHORTCOMINGS AND ABIDE TO MY ADVICE AS TIME IS NOT ON OUR SIDE ANYMORE. I HOPE YOU DO THIS ASAP PLEASE. I VOW TO COMPENSATE YOU FROM MY SHARE PLEASE. UNDERSTAND MY POINT. NB: I AM SUPPOSE TO BE WITH YOU BY TODAY IF YOU HAD FINALISED THIS EALIER. PLEASE FOLLOW UP AND INFORM ME SO THAT I CAN ARRANGE MY COMING . HILMAN Lewd Noogie Date: Wednesday, November 17, 2004 Hilman, Can't do it, my man. I've worked with Yahaha's type before. They withold some vital document or piece of information, the transaction stalls, and then you have to bribe them to get everything you need. It would be a waste of money to send him anything without getting that invoice first. The only evidence I have that there is a $3,500 fee to be paid is his say-so, and I guarantee that if he knows he can get money out of us once, he'll try again and again. When I get the invoice from the ministry, then I'll pay, and I'll have the money to him the same day. Hilman, that man is a thief and I don't trust him at all. I don't even think there is a fee, I think this is money he intends to put in his own pocket. If this was truly a fee imposed by the ministry there would be no problem getting that invoice. You said yourself that before I can be paid there has to be a pro-forma invoice submitted to the Contract Award Committee. That's how it's SUPPOSED to work. An invoice is submitted and then you get paid. It's the same for Ali Baba Yahaha - he submits an invoice and THEN he gets paid. What surprises me is that you, my partner, seem to have been suckered into believing him and want me to go along with his scheme. I'll tell you the same thing I used to tell my little brother when we were growing up on the farm there in the Ukrain, "Don't eat that, Elmer, that's horseshit". You know as well as I that if I pay him without an invoice that he's just going to come up with some other obstacle to hold us up. Hilman, you are too anxious, and you're going to get us both in a big mess if you don't calm down. Do this - go talk to Yahaha and tell him when he submits his invoice, then we'll pay his fee, and not until. He doesn't believe me, maybe he'll believe you. On a higher note, Oxnard has driven herself to a frenzy in anticipation of your arrival. Her apartment is cleaned up, mostly, and she's got everything else ready for you. I don't think I've ever seen a woman with so much lust for someone she's never even met. You ought to be proud of yourself, you stud! Just a few words in an email message from you has nearly caused her to spontaneously combust! You d'man, Hilman! Oh, by the way, she's back up to 302 lbs, but she's big-boned and she carries it well for a girl of only 5'-3". I think you're gonna be pleased with her. Keep me informed of what's going on down there. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Thursday, November 18, 2004 7:31 AM Subject : PLEASE AVOID ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE US TO LOOSE THIS FUND LEWD, I AM WORRIED OK. I HAVE TOLD YOU TIMES WITHOUT NUMBER THAT I HAVE ENQUIRED AND MR YAHAYAS FEE DEMANDING IS IN LINE WITH THE RECENT POLICIES ON FUND PAYMENT TO FOREIGN CUSTOMERS. ALSO NOTE THAT FROM MY ENQUIRY THAT THIS IS THE ONLY FEE TO BE PAID. INFACT THIS FEE IS WHAT IS DELAYING THIS FUND WIRE AND I HOPE YOU EXPEDITE ACTION AND PAY SAME WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY PLEASE. WHAT I EXPECTED FROM YOU IS TO FOLLOW MY ADVICE AS I AM IN BEST POSITION TO GUIDE AND ADVICE YOU OVER HERE. PLEASE AVOID ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE US TO LOOSE THIS FUND AND PLEASE MIND YOUR CHOICE OF LANGUAGE TO MR YAHAYA. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND MY PREDICAMENT. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Thursday, November 18, 2004 Hilman, my misguided friend, if you are telling me to pay this fee without an invoice then you are obviously NOT in the best position to guide and advice me over there. This is exasperating. s Hilman, look, I have seen nothing other than Yahaha's email that says we owe any kind of fee. I have dealt with banks and ministries all over the world and whenever you have to make payment of any kind, they first must submit a formal invoice to you. That's just how business is done. Everywhere. Even Nigeria. Let me summarize this: 1. I am ready to pay Yahaha's fee. 2. But I will not pay Yahaha's fee without proof that we actually owe this fee, i.e., an invoice. 3. And after I pay Yahaha's fee I will demand a formal receipt. 4. And lastly, Yahaha is a jerk-off and a thief. I think that pretty much says it all. I know you need this money and I need it too, but doing it the way you want to do it will ensure that we will never receive the fund. I wish there were something else I could do but your solution is just throwing money away. If you don't want to approach the ministry and Yahaha's superiors yourself and obtain the invoice, then the only thing I can suggest is that you wait for your colleague to return and get the money from him. I guarantee that if you pay that fee without first obtaining the invoice, you will have lost your money for good. I want this to be successful and for you to come here for your share. I know that if you don't come, Oxnard will go on one of her low-mood eating jags and put on another 100 lbs. She's already starting to swell up like a pufferfish just because you're not already here. But under the circumstances I'm afraid I've done everything I can do. If you do get your fund, my account is still there for you to use, my friend. Good luck. Lewd [ I haven't hear anything from Hilman for four days and I'm worried he may have thrown the hook. I'm not ready to give this one up yet; getting an invoice out of these guys has become a quest...] Lewd Noogie Sent : Saturday, November 20, 2004 Hilman, How's the project going, my friend? Have you decided what you're going to do yet? Listen, you and I have never actually met but I feel I have come to know you over the course of our correspondence and I have come tto consider you as a friend. Because I am so far away from what is going on there, maybe I can see it a little more clearly than you can. The more I think about it the more I am convinced that Mr. Yahaya is up to no good. Think about it - the invoice he owes us is a form that would take him five minutes to fill in. Now ask yourself - why doesn't he want to give it to us? It doesn't make any sense, Hilman. I just want to warn you one last time not to give him any money until he provides that invoice as he is required to do. Invoicing is required by the ministry's accounting system, as it is required by any accounting system since the 19th century. Anyhow, if you put your own money into this, make sure you be careful and protect yourself. That's all I can tell you. Your friend and brother, Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Subj: VERY URGENT Date: Monday, November 22, 2004 10:58 AM LEWIS, THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL. I HAVE NOT PAID BECAUSE I DONT HAVE THE MONEY NOW. LIKE I TOLD YOU, THIS FUND IS A DEAL AND ALL THE SAID PROCEDURES MAY NOT BE OBSERVED OK. IF YOU TAKE ME AS A FRIEND, PLEASE PAY THIS FEE ON MY BEHALF AND I WILL REIMBURSE YOU. I PROMISE. HILMAN NB: ALTERNATIVELY, EMPOWER ME TO SEEK FOR ANOTHER FOREIGN PARTNER IN WHOSE ACCOUNT THIS FUND CAN BE WIRED AND YOU LOOSE OUT Lewd Noogie Date: Monday, November 22, 2004 Hilman, This transaction may be a 'deal' as you describe it, but we still have to protect ourselves. It is foolish not to. Hilman, please know that I'm not concerned about you paying me back. You said in your first letter to me that you have 5% of the total fund mapped out to cover any expenses that may be incurred by either of us. That's more than enough to cover this fee. Look, this is really simple. The invoice I'm looking for is a document that states that we owe money, $3,500 in this case. It will be on Ministry of Finance letterhead and will state something like, "Due for handling and processing - US$ 3,500.00" and it will be signed by Mr. Yahaya. That's all it is! It protects us in that it will be used to verify that we were billed legally through the Ministry of Finance. Once we pay the fee (and I am well-prepared to do so once we have an invoice in hand), we will get a receipt, also on Ministry letterhead and signed by Mr. Yahaya, verifying that we have paid the fee. This is so easy. Do this - put on your game face, go to Mr. Yahaya and tell him that this is what we want and must have, and don't take no for an answer. Get a little tough with him. Explain to him just as I have explained to you what a simple procedure this is. I'm sure that the ministry already has invoice forms readily available; all he has to do is put what we owe on it, sign it, and boom! we pay the fee. Tell him that if he just cooperates and provides the invoice, there just might be a little something extra in his christmas stocking this year. Hilman, he has no right to sit on this money, it's not his, it's OURS. Do this last request for me and if he still says no, then you have my permission to seek another partner for this. But again, I guarantee that even with another partner you will not get this money if you let Yahaya get away with withholding documents that he should be providing. I guarantee it. Oxnard sends her love and won't stop asking me when you'll be here. Let me know. Lewd [I cannot believe that these two clowns are gonna pass up $3,500 just so they don't have to spend five minutes to dummy up an invoice!! What is the scamming profession coming to??] Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Monday, November 22, 2004 4:38 PM Subject : PLEASE YOU ARE MY HOPE OK LEWD, THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE. BE INFORMED THAT I HAVE LONG PETITIONED MR YAHAYAS OFFICE AND HE INSISTS THAT WE MUST FOLLOW HIS PROCEDURES AND THAT OURS WILL NOT BE AN EXCEPTION AS OTHER CUSTOMERS HAVE COMPLIED. PLEASE YOU ARE MY HOPE OK. IGNORE THIS AND COMPLY TO MY PLEAD. I ASSURE YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL. IF YOU WANT MY SUCCESS DO THIS AND DO NOT DELAY ANY FURTHER PLEASE. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Tuesday, November 23, 2004 Hilman, You can believe me or you can believe him but I'm telling you he's lying. No contractor is going to pay anything without first receiving an invoice. Any auditor that discovers that this kind of fee was paid without an invoice would be on that contractor like scum on a pond. Hilman, you've never seen this much money before and obviously you're blinded by it. Have you asked yourself why Yahaya doesn't want to provide this invoice? He certainly hasn't given any good reason; he just says we have to follow his 'procedures'. Well that's horse puckey. Yahaya is a lying, thieving prick who's trying to get all he can out of this deal. I ought to come down there and lay some serious voodoo on his ass. Hilman, don't petition Yahaya for anything. Quit whining and go in and DEMAND that invoice. Just get the goddamn thing so we can pay this fee and get our money. I TOLD you that with him involved this transaction would drag out for another two months and that's exactly what is happening. I have been right every time because I know how these things work. I told you before that I'm not the successful businessman I am because I disregarded common business practices. C'mon, get fired up, get mad, get up tomorrow morning, kick the dog, smack the old lady around a little and then go get that invoice. Grab Yahaya by the collar, pull him in close, and tell him if he doesn't give us that invoice you're gonna shove your foot up his ass. This is the only kind of approach people like him understand. Now quit screwing around and go DO IT. Lewd ps - Oxnard is starting to blame ME for you not being here and I want to get her off my back! Please get that freakin' invoice so you can get up here. [I'm going to take the civilized approach one last time with Yahaya...] Lewd Noogie Sent : Tuesday, November 23, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I would like to take this opportunity to once again politely ask you to provide Dr. Egobia and me the invoice for the processing and handling fee so that we can successfully conclude this transaction. I am prepared to transfer the US$3,500.00 to your pay-to account immediately upon receipt of this document. Sincerely, Lewis D. Noogie [I think I'm getting close. Is Mr. Yahaya going to turn out to be a nice guy after all?] Alihaji Yahaya Subj: Re: Invoice - Attn: Mr. A. Yahaya Date: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 1:59 PM ATTN; Mr Lewis D. Noogie Your request is strange as we do not issue invoices to foreign customers before the final remittance of funds or payment of fees. However, what is practiced is after payment of the required fees, we issue receipt for acknowledment Additionally we issue fund exchange approval stating the amount to be wired and the beneficiary of which you have been issued. Could you provide me within 24 hours the format/sample of the invoice so that i can further satisfy your curiiosity. Treat as very urgent . ALHAJI YAHAYA Lewd Noogie Date: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I am somewhat astounded that you would find my insistance on an invoice to be strange. How am I supposed to know how much I am to pay and what the payment is for? By your email? I can't show an email to an accountant and say, "this is why I paid $3,500". He would laugh me out of his office. I have to show them an invoice from your ministry. I can't believe that every other contractor hasn't insisted on this. They all have to periodically face auditors too. It's a very simple document - it should be on Ministry of Finance letterhead, and should state something like, "Amount due for process and handling fee/charges - US$3,500.00", and it should be signed and stamped by yourself or someone in authority there at your ministry. Dr. Egobia and I would both be most grateful if your ministry were to provide me with this document so I can pay this fee and conclude this transaction. Of course, at such time as I offer proof of remittance to your pay-to account, I will also expect a formal receipt. Regards, Lewis D. Noogie [Now it gets a little confusing. I receive 3 emails from Hilman on Wednesday, November 24, all dated Friday, November 12. When I go back and check the status of the modalities at that point, they would more or less fit in with what was going on back then. Hilman has completely lost it...] Dr. Hilman Egobia From : <hilgobia@jumpy.it> Sent : Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:25 PM Subject : I AM VERY SAD OVER THIS DEAR LEWD, I AM VERY SAD OVER THIS. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU TO SORT THIS OUT WITH YAHAYA. WELL, I WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. BUT I STILL ADVICE YOU PAY THIS FEE AS FROM MY ENQUIRY, THIS FEE MUST BE PAID BEFORE THE FUND CAN BE WIRED. I HOPE MR YAHAYA IS NOT TRYING TO FRUSTRATE US. LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I WILL APPRECIATE YOU FOLLOW MY ADVICE AND PAY THIS FEE AND STOP EVERY FURTHER DELAY SO THAT WE CAN BE ON A SAFER SIDE. OK. PLEASE UNDERSTAND MY POSITION. HILMAN NB: MY APPOINTMENT AT THE EMBASSY IS TOMMORROW Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Friday, November 12, 2004 8:28 AM Subject : I DID RESPOND TO YOUR MAIL YESTERDAY. DEAR LEWD, I DID RESPOND TO YOUR MAIL YESTERDAY. I MET WITH MY CONTACT YESTERDAY AND HE PROMISED TO ENSURE THAT YOUR DEMANDS ARE MET AT THE PAYING OFFICE OK. JUST RELAX AS I AM DOING MY BEST. HOPE THIER IS NO PROBLEM IN YOUR COMPANY ? I WILL BE AT THE EMBASSY TODAY FOR THE FINAL APPOINTMENT NB: I WILL SUGGEST YOU GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE FEE PAYMENT AT THE NEAREST BANK TO SAVE TIME WHILE THE ISSUE OF THE INVOICE IS SORTED OUT THROUGH THE HELP OF MY CONTACT TODAY. I WISH YOU CAN DO THIS FOR OUR MUTUAL BENEFIT AND SAVE TIME. THINK ABOUT THIS AND BE FAST AS TODAY IS FRIDAY. HILMAN Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Friday, November 12, 2004 6:32 PM Subject : REGARDS AND HAPPY WEEKEND DEAR LEWD, I JUST ARRIVED FROM THE EMBASSY NOW (7:15PM NIGERIA TIME). I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. I HAVE BEEN SCREENED AND HOPE TO FINALISE WITH THE EMBASSY BY MONDAY. MY FLIGHT SCHEDULE REMAINS WEDNESDAY ALL THINGS BEEN EQUALL OK. LASTLY, I WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE ASKED MY CONTACT TO HELP US WITH THE PROBLEM OF MR YAHAYA BY ENSURE THAT THE SAID INVOICE BE SENT TO YOU. I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING BE FINALISED FROM YOUR SIDE ASAP WITHOUT ANY DELAY. REGARDS AND HAPPY WEEKEND. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Wednesday, November 24, 2004 Hilman, my friend, I'm worried about you. You sent me 3 emails yesterday, 2 copies of each, all dated November 12. And you think it's Friday. Hilman, sit down while I tell you this - it's only Wednesday, and the date is November 24, not November 12. You're falling apart, Homes. You're letting this thing get to you. You have got to learn to relax and take setbacks in stride. I have what I think is good news. I decided to try one last time with Mr. Yahaya. I sent him a very polite note yesterday, asking him again to provide our invoice so that we could pay the fee, get our money and conclude this transaction. He wrote back that it was a 'strange' request but asked me to provide him with a sample invoice format which I immediately did. I really think he's going to send it to me. Keep your fingers crossed - we may be seeing the end of this finally. I guess I should tell you about Oxnard. Your delay in arriving here has sent her into a spiralling depression and when she gets depressed she eats. The woman is rapidly developing her own gravity field. She's pushing 350 now and she's at the point where I can't let her sit on the furniture in my hotel apartment. Do me a big favor and next time you write say a few encouraging words to her. Tell her you're anxious to be with her and can't wait to hold her, something like that. I don't know what kind of spell you have put her under but I wish I knew how to do it. You, sir, are my idol when it comes to women. And my advice to you my friend is to stop by the store on the way home from the office tonight, by a litre bottle of your favorite hooch, and go home for a little 'mood management'. You're too wound up and you need to relax a little. I'll let you know when I hear from Yahaya. Lewd [Damn! The bastard still doesn't want to give it to me...] Alihaji Yahaya Subj: Re: Invoice - Attn: Mr. A. Yahaya Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:02 AM ATTN; Mr Lewis D. Noogie Please note that the document sent to you from this office stated the fee to be paid by you and the purpose of the fee payment. Listen, Mr Noogie, if you are ready to claim your fund, comply by paying the fee and your fund will be wired to your account without any delay. otherwise after this week, your fund will be stoped Treat as very urgent . ALHAJI YAHAYA Lewd Noogie Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 Mr. Yahaya, I would suggest that you go back and read your own document. Nowhere on the Exchange Approval document that you sent to me on 12 November is it stated the amount I owe. This is what I keep trying to tell you! You have given me nothing, other than an email, stating what I owe and what the fee is for! Please review the Exchange Approval document that you sent to me and you will see that I am correct. Regards, Lewis D. Noogie Lewd Noogie Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 Hilman, I just heard from Yahaya. Now he is saying that the Exchange Approval document that he sent me states how much the fee is and what it is for. Hilman, that idiot can't even READ!! That document says nothing about the fee! What is WRONG with him? How could such an incompetent moron be in charge of anything? I hae to stop here and calm myself down. Lewd Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Thursday, November 25, 2004 2:27 PM Subject : DEAR LEWD,/ABOVE IS FOR YOUR INFORMATION PLEASE DEAR LEWD, PLEASE NOTE THAT FROM MY SIDE HERE IN NIGERIA, I HAVE ASKED MY ATTORNEY TO KNOW WHY MR YAHYA HAS BEEN CAUSING ME PAINS BY NOT SENDING YOU THE INVOICE. MY ATTORNEY JUST RETURNED AND INFORMED ME THAT MR YAHAYA WAS VERY SORRY AS HE THOUGHT THE INVOICE WAS IN THE APPROVAL SENT TO YOU. PLEASE CAN I HAVE A COPY OF THE APPROVAL SENT TO YOU BY YAHAYA FOR CHECK? I HOPE THAT BY TOMMORROW THAT WE SHALL FINALLY LAUGH AND BE HAPPY AS HE PROMISED TO CROSS CHECK HIS FILE ABOVE IS FOR YOUR INFORMATION PLEASE. HILMAN Alihaji Yahaya Sent : Thursday, November 25, 2004 4:19 PM Subject : EXCHANGE CONTROL INVOICE/ATTN: LEWIS Attention Mr Lewis D. Noogie Attached is the Exchange control/Invoice for your attention. I had to re-visit your payment file only to discover that the earlier exchange approval issued you from this office does not state the amount for the fees. In furtherance to this, I backdated this invoice to read 4th of November which was the date of your fund approval. I have explained this to your attorney who was in my office to ensure that this document is issued you today. confirm receipt and endevour to forward the evidence of the fee payment immediately as the paying bank has been instructed to remitt your fund by telegraphic transfer (T.T.) to your nominated Bank in Cyprus. Please accept my apology for this error and delay caused you. Yours faithfully, ALHAJI YAHAYA [I got my invoice, time to scrape these guys off. I wonder if I can get one last rise out of them...] Lewd Noogie Sent : Friday, November 26, 2004 Ahahahahaha! I KNEW if I kept at it long enough I could get you two twits to dummy this thing up! Oh yes, Hilman, we're gonna laugh about it but not tomorrow. Today! I appreciate you sending the invoice, and it certainly looks real and genuine! But listen guys, I'm gonna tell you what I tell all my mugus - you're really, really not cut out for this. You gotta quit hanging out in those internet cafes trying to pass yourselves off as heavy hitters; it just doesn't fly. You're wasting your time at this, go find a job somewhere. And you, Yahaha, are undoubtedly among the worst at it. Your personality is like fingernails on a chalkboard, you're an irritating little prick, and I still have half a mind to come down there and get tribal on your ass. Just thank your lucky stars I'm busy next week. And you might as well know that Hilman doesn't like you either. In one of his emails he was telling me how your mama is so ugly that she once had wild, passionate sex with a donkey, after which the donkey, overcome with shame, committed suicide by throwing himself off a cliff. At the time I thought it was kind of a cold thing to say but now I think he's probably right. Hilman, if you get your 35 million come on up to Latvia sometime and we'll have a few beers and some more laughs over this. But leave your dimwitted partner at home. Ok, fellas, it's been fun. Take care and don't forget to write. Your pal, Lewd ps - Hilman, Oxnard sends her love and says for you to get stuffed. Dr. Hilman Egobia Sent : Friday, November 26, 2004 8:01 AM LEWD, WHAT IS THIS????????????? I DONT UNDERSTAND. HILMAN Lewd Noogie Sent : Friday, November 26, 2004 C'mon Hilman, sure you understand. Go back and read my letter again. Tell me the truth now, you don't really think you're gonna catch anybody with THIS one, do you? This approach is too old, it's time to put a fresh face on 419-scamming. You guys gotta come up with something fresh, you know, something innovative. These over-invoiced contract and dead bank customer scams are so, I don't know, "last-year", don't you think? If you and Yahaha put your pointy little heads together maybe you two could be the ones to revolutionize the industry. Give it some thought and let me know what you come up with. I'll be glad to critique any fresh ideas you guys have. Meanwhile, like I said, be sure and look me up the next time you're in Latvia. I might even be able to smooth things over between you and Oxnard. Your bestest buddy, Lewd Ok, so this one isn't going to earn me a red title on Scamorama, but I'm happy. It's the little things in life... Lewd Noogie Novosibirsk, Latvia |