WE'RE AS SLAVIC AS WE WANNA BE

updated may 15 2005

Lewd, by now on a first-name basis with most of Mikhail Khodorkovksy's staff, is ready to help Kimaeva Lioudmila move $450 million of Yukos' money out of Russia...

Kimaeva Lioudmila - Personal Assistant to Mikhail Khodorkovsky
Sergei Ignatiev - Chairman, Bank of Russia
versus
Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie - International Hotel Consultant
Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Saturday, March 26, 2005 6:11 PM
To : kimaeva1@eresmas.com
Subject : Mutual Project
Received: from smtp12.eresmas.com ([62.81.235.112])

Dear Sir/ Ma,

I believe you do not know me i am so sorry to come to you like this.

I am MRS. KIMAEVA LIOUDMILA a personal assistant to Mr. MikhailKhordokovsky the former C.E.O of Yukos Oil Company in Russia. I have a very sensitive and confidential brief from this top (oligarch) to ask for your partnership in re-profiling funds over US$450 million. I will give the details, but in summary, the funds are coming via Bank Menatep. This is a legitimate transaction. You will be paid 25% for your "management fees".

If you are interested, please write back by email kim_lioudmila@zonai.com and provide me with your confidential telephone number, fax number and email address and I will provide further details and instructions. Please keep this confidential; we can't afford more political problems.

Finally, please note that this must be concluded within two weeks. Please write back promptly.I will also suggest you visit these news sites on the internet to be better informed about this project.

http://www.winne.com/topinterviews/khodorkovsky.htm
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html
http://www.supportmbk.com/mbk/mbk_bio.cfm
http://www.disinfopedia.org/wiki.phtml?title=Mikhail_B._Khodorkovsky http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/stories/moscow/khodorkovskyinterview.h tml
http://www.forbes.com/finance/lists/75/2004/LIR.jhtml?passListIdu&passYe ar
http://mikhail_khodorkovsky_society.blogspot.com/

Write me back. I look forward to it.

Regards,
Mrs. Kimaeva Lioudmila

[Scam-o-mavens will recognize this as a typical Slav-o-Rama letter.
62.81.235.112 is in or around Madrid. ]

Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie

Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2005

Ms. Kimaeva,

I have heard of Mr.Khordokovsky but I do not know him. I think this has been sent to me by mistake.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:02 PM

Dear Lewis,

Thank you for your response and I am glad to know that you are ready to help me conclude this transaction also i want you to know that it was not sent by mistake as you thought, be informed that I have a partner who is equally involved 100% and he is the person you will be hearing from or speaking with on phone in future.

Let me state for the records that all yukos contractors had been paid for the contract -jobs which they did but we are using this opportunity to get out the sum of US$450 Million which we have posted as unpaid claim to the Russian government.

In order to proceed, I would require the following information from you to prepare the necessary documents and approvals that qualifies you as the bonafide contractor capable of filing for claims of funds through Yukos Oil.

(1) Full Name
(ii) Contact Address
(iii) Telephone Number and Fax
(v) Company's name and address.

I shall not be requiring your account information because of the payment procedures enacted by Yukos where all contract payments both foreign and local are channeled through the Yukos International Bank of settlement-affiliate in Russia,Amsterdam and the United Kingdom.

For security reasons I will maintain contact with you by email alone. In no time, you will get to speak with my partner in this transaction who happens to be a very close and trusted confidant.

Finally, I hope that this email has all the information that you may require to see to the successful completion of this transaction. Remember that not more than US$45 Million can be accommodated at once in order to avoid unnecessary suspicion of any sort.

Take care and bye for now.
MS. KIMAEVA LIOUDMILA

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Ms. Kimaeva,

Your offer has come at me completely out of the blue. Before I agree to work with you on anything I would like some information.

1. Is what you are trying to do strictly legal?
2. I presume you are in Russia. Where exactly?
3. When you say I will be paid a 25% 'management fee', 25% of what?
4. Who is this other partner you mentioned? How does he fit into this?

When I work with people I also like to know a little bit about them personally:
5. How old are you?
6. Are you married? Any children?

If you would be so kind as to provide me with this information I will make a final decision about joining this venture.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Wednesday, March 30, 2005 11:31 PM
Subject : Mutual Project

Dear Lewis,

I quite appreciate your high level of caution in trying to know what this project is all about before venturing in fully. This has given the confidence that i needed to carry me through this project with you. You are making feel very secured by your question because the best thing in life is for you to be sure of what you want to do, and i am glad about it.

This project is extremly legal, there is no problem whatsoever before and after this project. because ever modalities have been worked out accordingly it is just for you to fit in as the beneficiary of the contract sum.

Presently, yes i am in russia but for security reasons will want you to excuse me of that- i hope you understand. it is very tight we us out here due to the fact that we have connection with my jail boss, so we are in a kind of almost 24hrs scrutiny by security operative that is the reason why my partner will be handling this project on my behalf by talking to you and directing you on what to do.

It is 25% of the total sum or worth of this project, but have it in mind that there is no way that we will pull such a huge sum of money without suspicion, that is the reason why the movement will have to broke to bit or will be done in instalment basis because i don't want to lose any money out of this funds because i know what it has cost me to bring this project up to this final phase. So you will earn 25% in every amount of money that is moved into your account.

The partner that i mentioned has been a good friend of mind over the years and because he is not in the picture within my organisation he will deal freely without much attention on him. And he is working for me and he gets his own money from my own end of the transaction, it doesn't have anything to do with you.

Getting a bit persoanl atimes is normal for proper understanding, i am 39 years old. single parent, i have a son of 10 years old but stays very far from my due to the nature of my work which i had to make sure he is in school because i don't really have time for him, but once this transaction is completed i will bring him along with me as i will be leaving russia for good and i feel for sure the lost time over the years that he has been missing will given fully to him, with love, peace and wealth. i don't really getting too personal but as you asked that is why. So i believed i have been able to answer your question, and i want you to know that every little time that we spend matters a lot and this project means everything to me and my son.

And if i may ask as well, can you brief let me know somethings about you, let say age, work/ business, likes and dislikes etc. so that when we eventually meet i will not be meeting with a total stranger.

Your prompt response will oblige.

Best regards,
KIMAEVA LIOUDMILA.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Thursday, March 31, 2005

Kimaeva,

I hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name. Do people call you Kim for short? By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.).

Based on your answers to my previous questions, I have decided to join with you. My main concern was the legality of the transaction but I will accept yor assurances that what we are doing is entirely legal.

A little bit about myself - I am an international hotel consultant based out of Kiev, Georgia, currently consulting to a hotel here in Novosibirsk, Latvia. I am also 39 years old and my one passion in life is small game hunting. I do it every chance I get even though I'm not very good at it. I do, however, hold the record for biggest chupacabra ever taken in the country of Mexico.

I was very pleased to hear that you are as young as you are and are single. I don't get much of a chance to speak or correspond with young women except for Olga, the East German massage therapist that works here in the hotel. I look forward to the day when we can meet in person.
Let me know what to do next.

Lewd

[Wherever Kimaeva is, it ain't Russia. Seems to be a 4-hour time difference...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Thursday, March 31, 2005

Dear Lewis,

What a blessing it is that we are age mate, in short God has a way of doing his own things. i am counting on you totally to liaise with the bank to make sure that this funds is secured as soon as possible because the money is there but just waiting for you to reach them and ask for your claim when all vital paper work have been effected in your name and favour.

In order to proceed, I would require the following information from you to prepare the necessary documents and approvals that qualifies you as the bonafide contractor capable of filing for claims of funds through Yukos Oil.

(1) Full Name
(ii) Contact Address
(iii) Telephone Number and Fax
(v) Company's name and address.

Your promptness will oblige.

Best regards,
kimaeva Lioudmila.

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, April 1, 2005

Dear Lewis,

I am still waiting to hear from and then get the necessary information in order to start the documentation and approval paper work.

Be prompt please.

Best regards,
KimLioudmila.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Thursday, March 31, 2005

Kimaeva,

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. I look forward to working very closely with you on this and it sounds like it will be very lucrative for both of us.

That said, I do see a potential problem. As I mentioned to you previously, I am an international hotel consultant and a vice-president of Noogie, Dahmer, Lecter & Associates. Our partnership maintains an 'open communications' policy which means that my partners have access to virtually all of my communications as I have of theirs. This includes surface mail, company email, telephone and fax. This email address is my only private and secure form of communications at the moment.

In addition, we have each signed an agreement that none of us will pursue any financially profitable activities outside the partnership. For this reason I have to insist on strict security throughout our association until such time as the fund is in our possession. After that I don't really care what happens.

I will try to think of a way to obtain a private phone number but until that time we will have to proceed without. I hope this does not cause extreme inconvenience.

Otherwise, the information you requested is listed below:

(1) Full Name - Lewis D. Noogie
(ii) Contact Address - c/o Hotel Bolshoi Huisos, 12 Otyebis Blvd., Kiev, Georgia.
(iii) Telephone Number and Fax - NA
(v) Company's name and address - c/o Hotel Bolshoi Huisos, 12 Otyebis Blvd., Kiev, Georgia.

Please let me know as soon as possible what the next step is.

Oh, and please call me Lewd.

Lewd

ps - Kimaeva is such a nice name and I can't help but wonder if you look as nice as your name sounds. Would you mind very much sending me a picture, please.

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, April 1, 2005

Dear Lewd,

There is no way that we can proceed without your phone number and fax due to the fact that once the application is submitted in your name and favour, there are colums where this information will be filled in the contract papers.

Endeavour to do your best to get a phone because the bank might want to call you to intimate and also to ascertain from you if your are really the beneficiary of the money as they will not want mistaken you for some else transfer money to wrong persons.
So, do you best so that it can be good enough to both parties. It is paramont that you have this things for the sake of the transaction.

I await your promptness and doing what is right for the sake of what is far better.


Best reh regards, Kimaeva Lioudmila.

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, April 1, 2005

Dear Lewd,

I expected you to br swift in your actions, please as to time is not our friend.

Delay is not always good for business, let us handle this with time in our mind due to the fact that time is money. Thank you as you incalcate this into your commitment and cooperation in this mutual beneficial project of ours.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Saturday, April 2, 2005

Kim,

Nice to hear from you as always, except whoever is providing you with banking information is full of crap. There is no way that the bank can positively establish my identity over the phone. That's the most rediculous thing I ever heard,

I don't like to do this but I can give you the number here at the hotel if it is absolutely necessary for them to talk to me. You and they are putting me at risk with my partnership by insisting on this, so I must take some extra security precautions.

If they are going to call me it must be very early in the morning, and I mean EARLY!You let me know in advance what day they are going to call and I will arrange to be in my office at 3:00am. I assume that the bank is in Moscow so that would be 4:00am their time. This is the only way we can do it.

I looked into getting a mobile phone but the paperwork to do so is horrendous, thanks to your having instilled that backward Soviet mentallity in these people. Put the blame on your commie friends there in Moscow.

Ok the number here is 7-095-964-8597. Remember what I said - I need to know in advance what day they will call.

I asked you for a picture.

Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Sunday, April 3, 2005

Dear Lewd,

Thank you for your cooperation and commitment. the bank is in london, UK and what is the time difference between kiev where you are and london. Please let me know so that i can communicate it to them.

I am very sorry if am borsering you, but it is for our own good. it is better that we earn good money now and then sit back in the aging future and be able to leave well during retirement.

Thank you once again and God bless yoy.

Best regards
Kim,

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Sunday, April 3, 2005

Kim,

I am not in Kiev at the moment. As I told you earlier I am in Novosibirsk, Latvia consulting to a hotel here. The time difference between here and London is 1 hour, so if they are going to call me at 4:00am my time it would be 3:00am London time. I know the hour is probably inconvenient for them but it's inconvenient for me as well. I still see no reason for them to have to communicate by telephone.

Since you feel email is not suitable for communication I think it would be a wise idea for me to come and visit you in Russia to work out details. My Russian visa is still current and we could meet very inconspicuously. Let me know your location and how to contact you.

Lewd

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Tuesday, April 5, 2005

Kim,

What is happening now? You didn't tell me where you are and how to contact you.

Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Tuesday, April 5, 2005

Dear Lewd,

I am sorry for the delay, the issue is that i am not feeling fine and was taken to the hospital two days ago that is why i have not been able to respond to your email, but im back now.

I saw your mails and you are talking of meeting me in russia, it is not ok by me security-wise, we will meet very soon as soon as this project is been drwn to an end in no time i will have to join you before the disbursement.

Where will be ideal for us to meet out russia, the place will have to be very secure and safe, and must be where you have 100% knowledge of. So that we can relate and then disburse the funds as agreed. For now let us still keep it very low.

All the same, i have been able to push the documentation process to a reasonable level and they might be contacting any moment from now as i wasz met to understand by an insider that the committee responsible for the screening of claim have started making letters that will be sent the owner of funds.

So, how are you doing today? and how far have you gone on the job you came to do in latvia as well as your partners. i hope all is fine. If i may asked are you married? and how old are you?

i just can't wait to me you. i feel a kind of security with you and i hope it will end up like that. Please be on the alert for anything that comes up, inform me right away.

Best regards,
Kimaeva Lioudmila.

[Sergei Ignatiev, Chairman of the Bank of Russia, weighs in. I would have expected the Bank of Russia to have a .ru extension but maybe they got a deal on the sify.com account. For that matter, I would also have expected a communication from the Bank of Russia to be in, duh, Russian, but maybe the quality of foreign language education is improving...]

Sergei Ignatiev

From : director drc <director_drc@sify.com>
Sent : Tuesday, April 5, 2005 11:28 PM
Subject : LEGAL AND VERIFICATION (DRC)
Received: from sifyr2.maa.sify.net ([202.144.76.20])

ATTENTION: LEWIS NOOGIE.
FROM: THE BANK OF RUSSIA.

Dear Sir,

APPLICATION FOR OUTSTANDING CONTRACT PAYMENT OF $450 MILIION ONLY.

This is to inform you that your application of claim for the aforementioned contract sum has been received by this department and your application is receiving due attention since laid down procedures must be observed to avoid wrong transfer of funds.

However, it is pertinent to notify you of the absence of your receiving bank account information in your application without which approval cannot be granted.

You are therefore advised to immediately provide this vital information by filling the form attached with this message, which will assist us in carrying out a thorough verification in order to expedite action on your payment, and in order to serve you better.

Your immediate response and compliance will be reasonable. Also Timely return of completed form is recommended.

Yours faithfully,

Sergei M. Ignatiev.
CHAIRMAN OF THE BANK OF RUSSIA

[ 202.144.76.20 = sify.net, Chennai, India. This is where the mail server was; it may or may not be where the Lad was. Nigerian expatriate Lads are getting busted in India and Pakistan. But we may not have all the header.]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Dear Mr. Ignatiev,

I thank you for your notification as to the status of my contract payment. I will be glad to fill out and return the form you provided, however, I am unable to open files with a .pmd extension. Would you please be so kind as to send the file in a different format.

Thank you.
Lewis D. Noogie
Novosibirsk, Latvia

[After a long, cold winter, spring is finally coming to Novosibirsk and for Lewd, the lights are beginning to come on in the house of love...]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Dear Kim,

I just wanted to let you know that I received an email from the Bank of Russia this morning. They sent me a form to fill out but I can't work with the file format that they sent. I have asked for the form in a different format.

I really don't see a problem with me coming to Russia to meet you. I know this sounds silly, but I've grown very fond of you through our correspondence and I want to see you as soon as possible. I have spent time in several of the major cities in Russia and know them quite well. I know places where we can meet where we will not be seen. Please send me your location and a way to contact you. Trust me on this, I know what I'm doing.

To answer your questions, everything is proceeding well here in Novosibirsk and we anticipate being complete with this phase in about 2 months. Maybe you and I will have a chance to come here after the transaction is complete and I can show you around the place.

Oh, and I'm 39 years old, same as you, and I'm SINGLE! I'm also hoping to change that very soon!

I'll keep you informed of any progress with the bank. Meanwhile, send me your location and contact information.

Potentially yours,
Lewd

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Wednesday, April 6, 2005 8:03 AM
Subject : RE: LEGAL AND VERIFICATION (DRC)

Dear Sir,

This is the only standard format that we use, and it is on acrobat reader which is a common software.

Note that time is crucial on this as we have a lot of contractors to work on their files, and it a first come first serve thing and in a situation that you loose your turn by not filling out this for and sending back on time you stand the chance of loosing your time.

Expedite action.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Mr. Ignatiev,

Much to my dismay I am unable to open your attachment in Acrobat Reader. Perhaps I could impose upon you to send me the information you require in the body of an email and I can return it to you in the same manner.

Please be informed that my company is not in any unnecessary hurry to conclude this transfer, preferring to do things correctly rather than in haste.

Thank you.
Lewis D. Noogie

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Kim,

I heard from the bank again but we're still having a go-around on file format. Not to worry, I'm working on it.

I also got the distinct impression that Mr. Ignatiev is trying to rush us. I've dealt with yor countrymen a number of times in the past and usually a desire to rush is later followed up by demands of a bribe of some sort. I don't know how may times this has happened to me in dealings with your customs people. I'm sure you're well aware of the problem. Anyhow, I told him we prefer to do things correctly rather than hastily.

Back to more important things - I'm still waiting for you to send me your picture. It's spring here in Novosibirsk and that always makes my thoughts turn to other pursuits. I still await your address and contact information. I really want to come and meet you in Russia. What is the weather like where you are now?

I await your reply.
Lewd

[Kimaeva dangles the prospect of a closer relationship in front of me, but not until the transaction modalities have been completed...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Wednesday, April 6, 2005 11:17 AM

Dear Lewd,

Thanks for the update; I am very glad that they have contacted you. So what is the problem with you not been able to print the form? Endeavor to act fast because I know how they behave here and having it at the back of your mind that they are forcefully taking over our company and businesses, so please try your possible best to meet up with their before they start telling fun stories later. They might say you delay that is the reason why they might not want to approve your payment. Do everything at your disposal to make sure that you always meet their deadline and appointment. You should know what this project mean to you, and me I believe you know.

And in regards, to the bribe issue it is a normal thing here especially when you are in a situation whereby you want to get something vital from them, they will make sure that they will want to frustrate you to a point of breaking. Please I beg you in the name of your father anything they demand of you please do it and I know at the end we will have God to that for his love and mercies.

As you said you've been dealing with our custom officer, it is good that you understand how things are been handled here. It is better to spend a little than to loose everything because they can be out to spoil everything just for there our gains. Please I await you constant briefing.

For we meeting now, is not ideal and convenient for me because I don't want to loose any money from this project if I might consider the amount of money that this project has cost me to bring it to this final stage, as you know the bribe culture here in every office or department lot of money is spent before the vital documents and approvals can be granted. So for now I am relatively grounded on cash and I don't want anything that will jeopardize this project.

I will give you my word, which is my bond after this project I will be for you as long as you want me to, I hope that will be ok by you, but for now business first and once you have receive the money in your nominated bank account will now reisgn my appoitment and then join you for good. I cann feel what you feel too but let us complete what will give us a better and happy future before we meeting because I am very closely monitored due to the fact that I was the personal assistant to my boss so they feel that I have a lot of information that I have not give them, even my house is bugged and I am monitored 24hrs a day. That is why I am begging you to do everything possible to make sure that we are through with this project so that I can have peace of mind when I join you.

To be sincere what will you what of me? And i hope you are keeping everything confidential.

Your promptness will be fine.

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Wednesday, April 6, 2005 11:56 AM

Dear Sir,

You can use adobe pagemaker 7.0

And for your notice, there a lot of contractors to settle and if you are saying that yourcompany is not in a hurry to receive your payment that is fine but all i know is that once you appointment time of treating your company payment sechudule and you are not forthcoming the payment might be suspended or revocked until further notice.

I hope you understand the fact that the russian government id winding up yukos oil and selling part of it so it is best for you and your company to use your opportunitywisely.

Reply imediately.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Mr. Ignatiev,

I do not have Adobe Pagemaker 7.0. I will ask you again - can you not just tell me what information you need in the body of an email? Or send the form as a .jpeg?

I don't understand why you would mention suspending or revoking our payment if the process takes a little longer. All I said was that it is not necessary for either us or yourselves to proceed in haste.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2005

Kim,

I was so glad to hear that you might feel the same way I am beginning to feel. At first I thought it was the Spring weather we've been having here in Novosibirsk, but it wasn't that. Or I thought that maybe it was the fact that the only woman I have been with in six months is Olga, the East German massage therapist that works here at the hotel. It wasn't that either, although if anything could drive me over the edge, that would probably do it. Don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful girl, with a startling resemblance to Russia's greatest tennis player, Anna Kornakova, except for being about six inches shorter and 200 lbs heavier. But she's just so..... so MUCH.

I will do everything I can to move this transaction along quickly so that we can be together. Together and rich! Forgive me, I am positively giddy over this!

All I have to do now is get this commie bastard at the bank to tell me what information he wants. This guy doesn't seem to have the first clue about computers or software. But I promise I will be patient with him.

Kim, you have not sent me a picture and you keep avoiding the subject everytime I ask you about it. Please send one tonight or tomorrow or tell me why you won't.

Waiting anxiously to hear from you.
Lewd

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Thursday, April 7, 2005 5:28 AM
Subject : Trabscribe into your company letter headed paper.

DEBT RECONCILLIATION COMMITTEE
The central bank of Russian federation

RECONFIRMATION/PAYMENT RELEASE FORM

(The form shouldbe filled in beneficiary's own handwriting)

1. NAME OF BENEFICIARY:................................................
2. ADDRESS:................................................................ .....
3. NAME OF BANK:............................................................
4. ADRESS:................................................................. .......
5. (a) TEL NO:...............................(b) FAX NO:.....................
6. (a) ACCOUNT NO:.......................(b) ROUTING NO:...............
7. VALUE OF PAYMENT:......................................................
8. PURPOSE OF PAYMENT:...................................................
9. CONTRACT NO:...............................................................
10. MINISTRY/CORPORATION:................................................
11. (a) SIGNATURE OF BENE:............(b) FULL NAME:..................
12 DO PROPOSED TO SIGN BY A PROXY-ACCREDITED ATTORNEY?: ...................................................

IF NO, PLEASE INDICATE YOUR DATE OF COMING FOR THE SIGNING CEREMONEY:.........................DAY OF..........................................

FOR OFFICIAL USE

A CHECK AND PASS FOR PAMENT:....................................... CHECKIMNG
OFFICER.....................STATION:......................

DATE:.....................................TIME:......................... ..........

B FINANCIAL AUTHORITY.........TOTAL SUM APPROVED:...........
AUTHORISING OFFICER SIGNATURE:....................................
DATE APPROVED:..........................FULL NAME: .....................
STATUS:........................................... v
NOTE: TRANSCRIBE INTO YOUR COMPANY LETTER HEADED PAPER, FILL, SIGNED AND RETURN IMMEDIATELY.

TAHNK YOU.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2005

Kim,

I had forgotten how difficult it can be working with Russian bureaucrats until I started working with the bank. Jeez, what a bunch of dickheads! No wonder that country is in the state it's in.

Old Sergei there at the bank finally got around to sending me the information they need but he wants it on my company letterhead and filled out by hand. This means I'll have to scan it to send it back to him and I don't have a scanner. I think there is a way around this, though. They are offering me the option of having the paperwork signed by an attorney or I can come to the bank and sign it in person. I'm going to tell them I'll come to Moscow next week and take care of everything in person.

Soooooooo, since I have to come to Moscow anyhow, you'll see me while I'm there, right? C'mon, Kimmy, I have to be there anyhow. I know some quiet, out of the way places where we can meet and have some privacy and no one will ever know. Very discreet.

Do this - send me your picture so I can recognize you and how I can contact you when I get there. I'm going to make a reservation at the Metropol Hotel which I'm sure you are familiar with. I'll contact you when I arrive and I'll plan on spending a week there. Just think, an entire week together! I got a hunka hunka burnin' love I'm bringin' ya baby!

I'll let you know exact dates and times after I make my reservations.

Love,
Lewd

[Now to let Sergei know that I'm a-comin' to Moscow....]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2005

Mr. Ignatiev,

Due to continuing technical difficulties here in Novosibirsk, I intend to do the following:

Item 12 on the form you just sent to me asks if I intend to have the paperwork signed by a 'proxy-accredited attorney', or if I intend to sign myself and when. I have scheduled meetings there in Moscow with my business partner toward the middle of next week and will bring all necessary forms and information to your bank in person.

When my reservations are finalized I will let you know the exact date of my arrival and availability and we can establish a mutually convenient time to meet.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

[Kimaeva throws cold water on my coming to Russia...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Thursday, April 7, 2005 8:41 AM

Dear Lewd,

Thank you for the information. I want you to know that BANK OF RUSSIA does not pay contractor directly, they will have to refer you to YUKOS internatioanl bank of payment-affiliates in amsterdam, london and spain for you to go there and receive your money. they only pay you had it been the contract was done for the russian government.

In regards to the form you can also send the information to them the way it was sent to you, or try the best you can to get where you will have to scan and send because i don't want there problem. they might because of that what to cause one thing or the other. please do your best we are almost there.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2005

Kim, what in the hell are you talking about???? What do you mean I have to go to London or Spain???? If that's the case then why the hell are we dicking around with that nitwit at the bank of Russia????

You can't tell me that Yukos doesn't have a paying bank in Russia. Of course they do. I don't see any reason why I have to go to freakin' Spain when I'm on the goddam Russian border anyhow! Hell, I'm closer to Moscow than the krauts got during WWII.

Please write back and tell me you're joking.

Lewd

... still going strong in late April...

[Unfortunately, life and career jump into the path of scam-upkeep and it becomes necessary to slow this thing down for a bit...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Saturday, April 9, 2005
Subject : Re: Good New!

Hello Lewd,

I have not heard from you, it is very unlike you. Please what is happening.

Lewis D. Noogie

Dearest Kim,

I got an emergency call from another hotel we consult to and had to make a quick trip here to Murmansk, Estonia. The communications here are terrible, but I'll try to keep in touch as best I can.

Your Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Monday, April 11, 2005


I am supposed to be asking you about the bank as they are dealing with you. Please i hope you are trying to play with me on this matter because i will just hang myself and commit sucide as i have exhausted everything i have to bring this project up to this stage. Has it been you told me that you would not be able to handle this project from inception ei wouldn't have used your details for the documentation. Please don't let anything go wrong with this project please.
Lewis D. Noogie

Kim, my love,

Of course I'm mot playing with you on this. I want to finish this as quickly as we can so that we can get our part of the money and be together. Banish all thoughts about hanging yourself or committing suicide, remember that health is wealth. Everything is going to work out just right.

The internet connection here in Murmansk has been very tentative and I get kicked off frequently. I'll try to get a message off to the bank tonight.

Yours always,
Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Dear Lewd,

Thank you for your assurance, but don't let the bank begin to have and kind of inpression or insuniation about your claim because the russian people have a way g thinking and reacting to issues. I repeat again that this project means everything to me and i am taking your word that all is working out. You should know now that i am really solely on you to get result as evrything has fallen into your lap, and you just have to deliver.

Endeavour not to let the bank rest, and if i may asked have you been able to complete the form that you said was sent to you by the bank, and if you have? what has been their response after you meeting their request.

I don't sleep well this days because i know i am wealthy in my mind and it is in your hand to bring it to manisfestation.

Let me know what you have been doing with the bank.

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Wednesday, April 13, 2005

What is happening Lewd? You are making feel uncomfotable

Lewis D. Noogie

Kim,

I thought I explained to you that communications are very touch-&-go here in Murmansk. Please be patient, I only plan to be here for a few more days and then will return to Novosibirsk. I can communicate much easier from there.

Kim, I have asked you a number of times for a picture - why have you not sent it?

Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Thursday, April 14, 2005

Dear Lewd,

Let me put it straight to you, my security is more important to me than you helpingreceive this funds. You are making it look as if i should fsll on my knees before you can do the things that is right when you know that no matter that i will benefit in this project you are equally going to do the same.

If you feel you don't want to assist again i can get someone else over time, but once the russian government fineout anything about me that i am doing or trying to execute such a project you should know that my own is finish, except you want me dead and then you will continue with the bank and claim the money for yourself along, if that is your plan it would't work.

I cannot give you my picture right now, i have sent you my ID and international passport is that not enough, in short if your are not interested any more, no problem because i don't want to loss my life now aright.

You are trying to let me feel that you don't have any sympathy of human feelings, you just want to satisfy yourself without considering the security implication of giving my picture in connection of the nature of project that we have at hand.

This people here are mean and wicked, do you want me to DIE, i reap again if you don't want to help anymore so be it, i know that one day GODwill bring the right person. I thought you were the right person but i now fineout that you don't have my good and success in mind, if im arressted and jailed or killed today you will benefit from the project alone noe that the project has gotten to it crucial stage.

Lewis D. Noogie

Kim, what the hell are you talking about? Have you completely lost it?

Let me point out a couple of things to you - number one, you have NOT sent me your id or international passport! If you had, I would not be asking you for your picture.

Number two, I have never said anything about not helping you. I have always said I'm behind you one hundred percent. What causes this sudden outburst? Why would I want you dead? I told you how I feel about you. Is this my crime? That I have developed sensitive feelings toward someone I've never met?? Well sorrrrrry!

I don't uderstand your letter at all. Is this a woman thing? Is this sudden flareup caused by cramps?

And who is trying to kill you or throw you in jail? You assurred me that this was completely legal.

Kim, my position has not changed. I am still willing to help you do whatever it takes to get your money. All I want is to be able to see you.

Please understand that my position right now is somewhat awkward. COmmunications (phone, email, internet) are TERRIBLE here in Murmansk. For that matter they are bad all over Estonia. I will be finished here in a very few days and will be back to Novosibirsk. Please try to be patient.

Besides, I bought some nice things for you here.

Love,
Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Are you alright, you know you mean a lot to me and this project. It unlike you, please let me know what is happening to you. I pray not bad happens to oyou. God Bless you.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Monday, April 25, 2005

Kimmy, darlin', Daddy's home, your Lewd is back!!

What a miserable trip! The hotel there in Murmansk is stuck way the hell and gone out in the forrest and the only way to get there is by horse-drawn sled. We were attacked by wolves both coming and going, what I would have given to have my 20 mike-mike along with me.

But the hotel management there was very pleased with my work and they gave me a $25,000 cash bonus for helping them out on such a short notice. I don't think I'm gonna mention this to my partners, what they don't know won't hurt them.

I can't tell you how miserable I've been without being able to write to you every day. Did you miss me as much?

Ok, babe, let's get this show back on the road. Where are we at with this? What do I have to do now? Is your situation any better? I guess I still have to come to Moscow to visit the bank and sign the paperwork - can you see me when I get there?

Let me know.

Your Lewd

...and on into may...

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Monday, April 25, 2005
Subject : RE: LEGAL AND VERIFICATION (DRC)

Dear Sir,

We are giving you this last opportunity to comply withour requirement or else your payment will be cancelled. I believed that wehave done our best for your organisation without you not forthcoming in our dmands.

Thank You.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Monday, April 25, 2005

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have just returned from a business trip and I am now prepared to bring this transaction to a conclusion.

I will make arrangements to be in Moscow the week of May 10 for the signing ceremony and will bring all necessary documents at that time. Please send me the bank's address and telephone number so that I can contact you upon arrival.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Dear Sir,

The information need from you is your:
1) Full name that was used in the contract paper.
2) Address
3) Account Details and routing
4) Company Name.
5) Your Phone and Fax Numbers.
6) Contract Sum.
7) Age And Sex.
8) Nationality.

Your immediate compliance will oblige, so that we can verify with what is in your file and once they are in accordance then approval will be granted as soon as theconfirmation is done, and you will be adequately communicated of where to go and receive your over due contract payment.

We are sorry for any problem that our demands might have cost you, it is for your benefit as we don't want to make wrong transfer of funds.

Thank you. Actnow.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Dearest Kim,

I have been expecting to hear from you - I hope you are well and everything is ok.

I received a note from the bank asking me to verify the following information:
1) Full name that was used in the contract paper.
2) Address
3) Account Details and routing
4) Company Name.
5) Your Phone and Fax Numbers.
6) Contract Sum.
7) Age And Sex.
8) Nationality

Can you send me what is indicated on the contract so that I can make sure I tell them the same thing.

Please let me hear from you. I think we are getting close to finishing this.

Yours always,
Lewd

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Dear Lewis

We have sent you the needed information required of you in order for we to verify it with what we have in our data base.

Act now as time for we to wind up our responsibilities is drwing to a close.

All other aspect of the contract finding has been fine but we just doing our legal routine obligation to make sure that we are granting approval to the right contractors and not making mistake , and note that this exercise is for the good of the contractors.

This information that we asked is vital for the final approval of payment to be approved.

Yours faithful,

Sergei M. Ignatiev.
CHAIRMAN OF THEBANK OF RUSSIA.

[I'm getting tired of this dickhead's attitude. You don't push a Noogie like this...]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Mr. Ignatiev,

Just hold on a minute, Tovarish.

This is not your money you're dealing with, it's mine. Your responsibility isn't over until I say it is. I don't know where you got the idea that you set the time-table for this transaction but this is between me and Yukos. You are a simple intermediary, a very small fish in the overall scheme of things, and I advise you to remember that fact. It ain't Soviet times anymore, Boris. You work for us, not the other way around.

I'm getting really, really tired of your attitude, my friend. You mess with this deal and I'll see to it that you end up as a long-term, all-expenses-paid guest at the Lubyanka.

I am awaiting information from my business partner and when I receive it I'll let you know.

Meanwhile, you just relax.

Otyebis, [Russian for 'F*** off']
Lewis D. Noogie

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Subject : Re: Where Are You?

Dear Lewd,

I have not been feeling too fine as a result of this project, but you have just given me what has bring joy to my life and i hope you will not be travelling any soon so that you can complete this project with the bank once and for all.

This are the following information that was used:

1) Mr. Lewis Noogie
2) Put the hotel address that you gave me.
3) You have to give an account that is viable, please.
4) Lewis Noogie contract Incorporation.
5) Give them a function phone and fax line.
6) 450 Million Dollars
7) 33 years old / Male
8) Put your country.

And for your information, please make sure that the phone and fax numbers that you are giving out is functional for there is the tendency that they might call you.

Please get back to them as soon as possible. As we are almost there as you can see for yourself.

I await for your immediate reply

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Kimmy, dear,

So good to finally hear from you. You can't imagine how worried I've been. Don't worry, babe, this will all be over soon and you and I can finally really get to know each other. And the only travelling I anticipate in the near future is when that a-hole at the bank tells me where I have to go to pick up the money

Speaking of that a-hole at the bank, I finally had to read him the riot act. He's been pushing too much and I finally got tired of it. I had to send him a strongly-worded note and tell him to back off.

Now that I have the information from you I'll send it along to him and I'll keep you updated.

Looking forward to our being together.
Your Lewd

[Telephone is the number for a Moscow militsia (police) station, a cranky bunch at best of times. Shouldn't be a problem, though, since everyone involved with the modalities speaks Russian, right?]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005

Mr. Ignatiev,

Following is the information you requested. Your continuing patience is appreciated (and required).

1) Full name that was used in the contract paper - Lewis D. Noogie
2) Address - c/o Hotel Bolshoi Huisos,
12 Otyebis Blvd., Kiev, Georgia
3) Account Details and routing - CITI Bank - New York
Swiftcode: CITI US33
Credit to Bank of Cyprus
Swiftcode: BCYPCY2N030
Favor; NOOGIE & ASSOC LTD
Account#: USD 0385-40-06-074094
4) Company Name - Noogie & Associates, LTD
5) Phone and Fax Numbers - 7-095-924-5026
6) Contract Sum - $450,000,000
7) Age And Sex - 36 years, sometimes
8) Nationality - Dual Georgian/UK citizenship

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005

Dearest Kim,

I just wanted to let you know that I sent my information to the bank. I guess we just sit back and wait until they tell me where to pick up the money, right?

How are you feeling today? By the way, have you given any thought as to when you will be coming here? I think we should both take a month or so, kick back, and just enjoy the rich life for awhile. What do you think?

I get worried when I don't hear from you so write to me today.

Your Lewd

[Does Lewd have a way with the ladies, or what?!?]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, April 29, 2005

Dear Lewd,

All we have to do now is wait patiently for the bank to do their routine verification and scrutiny and definitely the good news will come sooner or later as i know that all is well.

I just can't wait for we to meet as i have been dreaming spent a well good time with you. Please, if i may ask have you ever thought of last getting married? or starting a new and serious relatinoship? To be frank this is what has pre-occupied my mind for days now and how i can cope with this new development. I don't know is you feel the same way, but i am very sorry to be saying this to you but hat is what i felt, after thinking of all the time, energy, money that you have been spending to make sure that this project is completed without any project and i can see the end of the tunnel with a very bright light in it, so who will i spend my time and money with if not you, that is what i have resolved within me maybe i might be making a mistake to open up to you, that is the reason why i have not been able to contact you before now.

where will you want to settle down finally of the conclusion of this project? As for me i don't really have anywhere to go but all i know is that i will never return to russia again in my life. So i will be relocating to somewhere nice and i feel sure that you can be of grate help in this regards.

Please let me know you views and as well give me update for can't wait agian.

Best regards,
Kimaeva Lioudmila.

[Time to pour it on. Thick. Don't read the following if your stomach upsets easily...]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005

Kim, my love, I can't express in words how happy your letter has made me. I am very touched by how you have opened up to me and when I wake up in the morning to the day's first rays of sunshine and the sound of birds singing I can tell that my dreams were about you opening up to me even further.

To my way of thinking, we already have a serious relationship. I know, we have only corresponded by email but to me it has been an intense correspondence. The thought of you being here fills my heart with joy and fills my mind with thoughts of filling you.

When we have recovered the money I want you to come here to Novosibirsk and be with me, forever or longer. When I have finished my work here at the hotel we can travel for awhile, get to know each other, and then return to Kiev in Georgia. I think marriage is definitely in our future! How do you like the name Kimaeva Noogie? I think it will fit you well.

We have so many things to talk about when you get here but we have plenty of time for that then. I don't know how much longer this transaction will take but it shouldn't be too much longer. I really thing you should start making preparations and travel arrangements to leave Russia.

Kim, I know you said you sent me you picture and id but I never received them. I do so much want some kind of picture of you, if for nothing else than to know what you look like when I meet you at the airport. Please, please send me your picture, any picture.

All I can say in conclusion is that I have never felt this way about anyone else before, not even Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel. And even Oxnard, her younger sister, can't stir my feelings the way you do, but that is most likely because I know she would do serious damage if she ever got her hands on me. My heart is yours, my love.

Your Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, April 29, 2005

Dear Lewd,

I don't think i really have a choice about my relocation spot but to be where you want to be if Novosibirsk is best for you so be it, but considering person and the way i will be leaving russia. definitely we will get to know each other better and then get settled down and start something good for ourselves.

Personally, i don't know much long it will take to complete this project but i hope it will be soonest let just keep our finger cross and wait patiently. i have started my travelling arrangement today and all i am waiting for is to hear from you that the money has been received so that i can move.

Please lewd, in regards to the picture i can understand how you feel but it will just be for a while and i am keeping for security reasons and as a surprise. definitely i will give to you the day before i travel so that you will be able to recognise me in the airport but i am just taking precaution, please bear with me it is almost over and you will see the fullest of me life soonest.

Bye for now.

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005

Dearest Kim,

If you feel it's best to wait to send your picture I will abide by your decision. I don't really understand why you refuse, but it's your choice.

At least tell me what you look like. Are you tall? Short? Blonde? Brunette? Nice rack?

Ok, I will standby until I hear from the bank and then let you know. By the way, does the bank keep you informed as well?

Hugs, kisses & more,
Your Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, April 29, 2005

Dear lewd,

Thank you for your undestanding and i want to let you know that there is no way that the bank can contact or inform me but at that initial time i normally have to pay someone to get information and usually are general information on what is happening with the contractors that was supposed to be paid without showing any interest on my question.

I am pretty an average in height, nice, patient and resourceful. Are you ok with this, just be patient because we have waited all this while and in no time you will have me for good. So be yourself and be focuse on the mission.

Bye.

[The only downside of this passionate romance is that 'Kimaeva' is probably a guy. This is a messy job, but somebody's gotta do it...]

Lewis D. Noogie

Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005

Kim, my love,

I didn't realize that you were not getting information from the bank. It's good that you told me so that I don't slip-up and mention your name.

I promise to stay focused, but I like it when you tell me nice things, like, "soon I will have you to myself for good". I need to hear that kind of thing often, dear. I get very frustrated with people like that guy at the bank, and sometimes I just want to give up. It's you saying those sweet words that keeps me going.

Your Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Monday, May 2, 2005

Dear Lewd,
I love you more than you can imagine, let us complete this project and let me proof it to you if only you will be able to withstand it. Words can't quantify what i feel for notwithstanding that i have not met you yet, but i can feel i will be expecting the first day that we will be spending the night together. Just be cool and wait till that day which is very soon. Ok.
Bye for now i miss you!!!!!!!!!!

barrelling on through may...

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Dear Lewd,

How are you today?

Is there any development about our expections from the bank?
Reply as soon as possible.

Sergei Ignatiev

Sent : Tuesday, May 3, 2005
Subject : RE: LEGAL AND VERIFICATION (DRC)

Dear Lewis,

We are told by the paying bank that your numbers are not functioning and that they have been trying to get intouch with you in order to give you the modalities which will enable you receive your funds.

Endeavour to forward a functional number as soon as possible.

Lewis D. Noogie

Mr. Ignatiev,

The number I gave you, 7-095-924-5026, is fully functional. It is the number for the Minet Hotel here in Novosibirsk and dozens of calls are received daily on that number. Please tell your paying bank to try the number again or to contact me by email.

By the way, what is the name of the paying bank and where exactly is it?

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Lewis D. Noogie

Kim, my love,

I just wanted to let you know that I did finally hear from the bank but it was just to tell me that the telephone number here at the hotel is not working. Which is crap. The phone here works fine. I told them to try again or to email me.

I think this is going to be completed very soon. You said you were arranging your flight here - what is the airline, flight number and when do you plan to arrive? You know that you'll have to fly into the capitol Minsk, right? I will pick you up at the airport and drive you here to Novosibirsk.

I live for being with you. There's nothing further you can do there in Russia, please, come to me now.

Your Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Thursday, May 5, 2005

Dear lewd,

I hope all is well

[Seems that Kimaeva's knowledge of geography is as bad as my own...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Thursday, May 5, 2005

Dear Lewd,

Thank God that the bank finally gets to you. I have been feeling a bit feverish but am a getting better now.

Why did you say it is going to be completed soon? Did they give you a specific date and time? To be frank with you my mind and spirit has left Russia already it is just remaining my body I guess that is why I am falling ill every now and then.

I am only waiting for you to let me know that you have receive the money and I will join you in less than 24hr. You should still remember that out here the security network around us is high, so I have almost completed my traveling arrangement but I am keeping it very cool and quite, just worry much about me I will take care of myself. I don't want to get you involved in the arrangement, I am getting everything right. My arrival plan depends on the information I get from you in regards to the money. I have put down a solid arrangement plan.

Definitely, I will fly into the capitol Minsk.

If you are leaving for me, you will prove this when I arrive. I have made up mind long before now that I want you for keeps and I thank god that were having the same kind of feeling. Be ready for me dear.

Bye for now and God bless you.
Kimaeva Lioudmila.

Lewis D. Noogie

Dearest Kim,

As always, receiving a letter from you makes my entire day brighter. I live for the time that you will finally be here.

The bank did not give me any completion date, I just thought that it should be relatively simple from here on. I haven't heard anything from the bank in the past couple of days but that doesn't surprise me. That guy Ignatiev takes moron to a new height. Really, the guy is clueless, just tries to come off like a heavyweight.

Kim, I see no reason for you to stay in Russia any longer and I want you to come here now. I'm serious about this. What happens if this whole thing never materializes? There's still nothing you can do there, and you'll still have to leave. There is absolutely no reason any longer for you to stay there.

I want you to write back and let me know that you'll be here next week. I will arrange to take a few days off so we can spend time together. I have to insist on this, the time is now! I won't take no for an answer on this. You say you're in danger there so it's foolish to remain.

Let me know your flight schedule.

Your Lewd

[Our first lover's quarrel...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, May 6, 2005

Dear Lewd,

Just don't worry of my safety i am taking care of myself quite alright that shouldn't bother you ok.

they say business before pleasure, get the job done and my coming over is just a formality cause all is set for the trip, he remaining thing is in your hands. Presurise the bank that you need this money and let us start a better and fulfiled life. You are the person keep us in this darknes.

And i want o correct one impression that you might be having, why did you say what about if this project does not materialise as you saying you want to mess this project up, after all the money that i have spent and the trust that i have vested in your hand, how daer you insinuate that what i have lived for might not materialise. You hurt me badly with your comment. I don't like it. you are supposed to be talking of what kind os business we are supposed to venture into without spoiling my day and making feel sick.

Lewis D. Noogie

Just hold on a second. I've got a couple of questions of my own.

What do you mean when you say that I'm the person keeping us in this darkness? I think you need to explain this statement.

And secondly, what do you mean by how dare I?? How dare I say it might not materialize? Kim, I'm not a freakin' fortune teller. Shit happens that we don't expect. There's always a chance something could go wrong. You are foolish if you think otherwise.

I have told you that I'm with you on this and I resent you implying otherwise.

And it seems to me that you are avoiding the subject of you coming here. I see no reason for you to stay in Russia any longer. You cannot talk to the bank, you tell me you are in hiding and in danger. You said that the remaining activity is in my hands alone.I see nothing that you can do there to help. Please explain why you are staying there, and I don't want any of this business-before-pleasure crap, either. I want to hear good, solid, sensible reasons why you should not come here to me now.

I await your answers.

Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Sunday, May 8, 2005

The issue here is that you are getting me wrong by my statement that you are keeping me in the dark. what i really meant is that the ball is in your court and i have rested my case in your hands.

I am alway optimistic in everything i undertake because i put in my best, and regarding this project it is as good as been successfully as i believe and trust in you for the remaining part of this project. I have takken my time and resources to do evrything right before contacting you for the concluding part of this project. And it is not right for you because of little think you calling a foolish person and you said that you love, missing and want to be with me. You are making feeling the other way round, so do you mean that if i then do something wrong then you might hurt me, you are making begin to ask me self some kind of question about who i am about entrusting my future and whole life into his hands in a matter of a short while.

I appreciate you reassurance of your total commitement and being by me. I never in any doubted you ability, and the time that you have spent so far on this project. .

I remaining in russia up till now is best know to me, you should note as you mention that when undertaking anything something might go wrong that is the reason why i am staying back to destroy evrything partaining to this project once you inform me that you have receive the money in your nominated account. I will have to use my meand to retrive everything that might link the money to you with the informations that i have used to arrange for the documentation and filing.

Please not this is the most important aspect of this project. if you remember from the onset i told you once you have inform me of the receipt of the funds in your custody, i will then resign my appoitment official and then join you. I have done all my travelling arrangement waiting to hear from you the completion news. that is why i am saying that everything is in your hands. on my part i have done everything i oght to do perfectly, and if in any way my last email offends you i am very sorry it is the state of mind that i find myself at this point in time.

All i want to hear from you any moment from now is that, you been to the paying bank al all modalities as been completed and that you have signed off the money.

please accept my apology once again.
Kimaeva Lioudmila.

Lewis D. Noogie

Kim,

What you say still doesn't make any sense at all. When I told you there was always a possibility of something going wrong you came completely unlaminated on me. "How dare I mention that possibility", right? And now you tell me you're staying in Russia just in case something goes wrong! What is up with that? If you have stuff there to destroy, burn the crap and haul your ass over her to Latvia. Problem solved.

I am beginning to get the strong impression that you are not really interested in me at all. I think you have a different agenda, one that I am not included in.

Let me explain something to you. I am not involved in this for the money. I already have enough of that, and could retire in comfort anytime I chose. I stayed with this deal because of you, and now that I feel you don't have the same interest, it saps my will to continue.

You know as well as I that there is no reason for you to stay in Russia. I asked you for good, solid reasons and you have given me none. I can only conclude that you never intended to come here and be with me.

I will write to the bank and see if I can conclude this for you. But if that dimwitted bankteller Ignatiev gives me the slightest bit of crap, the first thing I'm gonna do is fly over to Moscow, push his ears together, and then quit this thing entirely.

You hurt me, darlin', real bad.

Lewd

Lewis D. Noogie

Mr. Ignatiev,

What is the status of our transaction? I have heard nothing from neither you nor the paying bank.

Please advise.
Lewis D. Noogie

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Monday, May 9, 2005

Dear Lewd,

please i know that you are andery with me but please just bear with me and soon it will be over, i have to sort out family issues you remember that i told you i have a child i can't just time my baby out of school like that i am doing everything that one will not regret later. Believe me i love you very well notwithstanding that i have not seen you.

Please just bear with me.

Lewis D. Noogie

I am not felling well today. I tried to drown my sorrow in a bottle of tequila last night, and now I'm paying for it. I also killed a six-pack of Latvian beer, just to watch it die. You see what you've done to me, woman?

But I did send a note to Ignatiev asking him what's going on. As I expected, I have heard nothing back from him yet. Lazy bastard.

I'll let you know when he sends something.

Lewd

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I love you dear please don't hurt yourself in any way that i have wrong you please forgive me and forget.

I don't know what is holding the bank?

Lewis D. Noogie

I'll tell you what's holding the bank - that guy Ignatiev is a jerkoff, that's what. How this twit got to be chairman of the Bank of Russia is beyond me. After I've had my morning tequila eye-opener I'm gonna write him a nasty letter and see if I can get him off the dime.

I had another mood-management session last night and I'm sick again today. I knew I should not have gotten emotionally involved with a woman like you, one who just wants to toy with my affections. But, like all Noogies, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Mine is a delicate spirit, eager for love, easily wounded.

Lewd

Lewis D. Noogie

Mr. Ignatiev,

I wonder if I coud prevail upon your good self to devote a bit of attention to our business at hand.

I have heard nothing from you or your paying bank. I asked for the name and location of the paying bank and you have failed to respond. I am told that there was a recent holiday in Russia to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the ass-kicking you guys gave to the krauts but that doesn't explain the entire delay.

My partner and I are quite anxious to conclude this transaction and you appear to be the bottleneck.We would be very pleased to see a little actiion on your part.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Lewis D. Noogie

Kim,

I don't know what it takes to get that bank off their dead asses. I have heard nothing.

Do this - send me the street address and phone number of the bank and I'll try to figure a way to contact them directly.

Lewd

Lewis D. Noogie

Dearest Kim,

Why are you not writing? I haven't heard from you for 3 days. Is everything ok where you are?

Lewd

[Now she's telling me that the daily grind of office work is getting her down. I thought she was supposed to be in hiding...]

Kimaeva Lioudmila

Sent : Friday, May 13, 2005

Sorry Dear,

I have over worked myseld and each time i get home i am always too tired due to the fact that it is like someone might be taping my email relation with you in the office. At this point that we are almost through with this project i don't want to take any chances. I just feel like that so i have to stop using the office connection for the time being. Please bear with me i am doing this for our sake.

Lewis D. Noogie

Kim, my love,

I'm so glad to hear that you're ok. Please don't worry me like that anymore. You just can't go for 3 days without writing to me.

Kim, what about the bank? This transaction is coming apart like a cheap Russian suit. I can't get any response from that dimwit Ignatiev. Please send me a phone number and address for the bank and I'll try to figure a way to contact him. Boy, has he got an ass-chewing coming!

Get back to me soon, babe.

Your Lewd

more to come?

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