CRISS-CROSSED

CROSS CHRIS cross_chris1990@yahoo.ca June 7 I have a new email address! You can now email me at: cross_chris1990@yahoo.ca Re: Transfer of Funds to your nominated account. Dear Mr Linda Mason, This is to inform you that the Central Bank Of Nigeria has mandated by the Presidency of the Federal Republic of Nigeria to remit your outstanding funding which is in a suspense deposit account here valued of $16.4,000,000.00 us dollars The management will also like to inform you that our remittance department has been receiving different request from different individuals/companies, for the of your funds and a change to the beneficiary status and account details.Recently, there was a formal request by Mr.Edward C. Ringer of Ringer Company,Tampa Bay,Florida for the change of your account to Terrace Bank through some individuals claiming to be your local representatives her in Nigeria. The management will like you to send the following information for the successful transfer of your funds and also to avoid the transfer of your funds into a different nominated account. The information required from you are listed below: 1) Your full name and address 2) Your banking details where your funds will be transferred into. 3) Your telephone and fax number. Simply because of the intense rate of fraudulent activities going on in Nigeria, we have concluded that our affilated office in the United Kingdom pays you your money in full.For further instructions on how your funds will be transferred.There is an option if you want the funds to be brought to you in your country then you can advise the account officer on that issue. In regards to the present situation, a lot of people are claiming that you gave them authority over your funds and you are therefore advised in your own interest to cut off all communications between you and your local representatives to avoid been scammed as this management will not be resposible for any loss. The Management will like to apologize on behalf on the Federal Government of Nigeria for the long delay of the transfer of your funds into your account. You are hereby to contact Mr James Bruce on +447024070871 in london. or Jamesbruce_office@gawab.com You are advised to adhere to this instruction. And get back to me ture this email:(cross_chris1999@yahoo.co.uk) Congratulations. Yours Sincerely, Cross Chris, - Cross Chris PHIL MUNGLERS Kriss Kross Who the HELL is "Mr Linda Mason"?? Are you a bit simple? Linda is a womans name, not a Mister. Gonna make ya - JUMP! JUMP! WHO are you, you ridiculously named cretin? Phil Munglers CROSS CHRIS cross_chris1999@yahoo.co.uk Dear Phil Munglers, How are you today? with your family hope fine. Thank you very much for your ability to respond to my letter. Well I will like you to send to me the following information below so we can proceed on this issue. Well i must tell the ture i am not a 419 ok and this is not scam.pls this is what i want you to do for me. Full name and address sex age telephone number fax contact address occupation Cross Chris, PHIL MUNGLERS June 12 Chris Cross, I'm fine but you haven't answered my question: why did you call me "Mr Linda Mason"? Are you trying to insult me??? What the hell is a 419?? "Tell the ture"? You're confusing me - what do you want!! Phil PHIL MUNGLERS Mikhail I trust you are well, sir. If you are not too busy and fancy joining in my latest quest, please let me know. I am reaching the stage of modalities where level-headed legal council is required. Remain blessed, Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL THIS IS HILARIOUS_KEEP THE CUSTARD BOILING MAN - S CROSS CHRIS How are you today?with your family hope fine. well it is a misstake by the name that i called you ok. Point of that i am not insulting you ok.just that i am need your help. i dont know anything about 419 ask you said.Now this is what i want you to do for me. your Full name and address sex age telephone number fax contact address occupation So that we can proceed on this issue. Cross Chris, PHIL MUNGLERS June 16 Chris Cross, I am glad to hear you are not insulting me and that by calling me "Mr Linda Mason" you had merely made a gross mistake. As for you not knowing what "419" is, well you mentioned it, not me. Never mind all this anyway, please explain why you need my details before I send them to you. Is this some kind of financial deal? If so I'm in, but please explain yourself better to begin with. Now. Phil CROSS CHRIS Hello Mr Phil Munglers, I got your mail and the content well noted and understood. Well may I sieze this opportunity to inform you that the Central Bank Of Nigeria has been recieving several reports and claims from different individuals for the claim of your funds which amounts to 16.4 m us dollars in a suspense deposit here. Late engineer williams Munglers was a very respected man before he died and when he passed off there was no will to the effect of his estate and accounts. I am presenting you to the Central Bank Of Nigeria were the funds were deposited as the legal beneficiary to late Williams Munglers so that the funds can be transfered to your account abroad were I will then relocate to meet with you so as to start up and have our sharing mode. Moreso, It is of great importance that you send to me your complete details below so that I can officially prepare a letter of claim which you would pass on to the bank for the commencement of this transaction. Please send me your full name, address, occupation,marital status, nationality,phone number. I expect to hear from you soon Chris PHIL MUNGLERS June 18 Chris Cross Your explanation is entirely plausable. I do not know why I ever doubted you. Here are my details as per your request: Phillip Akiharabashi Munglers Shi-Ichi-Kyu Dodonpachi Pref. Samanosuke Akechi NAMCO Japan, R34 AE86 Tel: 0081(0)9043999343 Age: 27 Occupation: Racecar operative Nationality: Japanese Married: Certainly not. What a ridiculous suggestion. Please sort out the claim thing and I'll contact my lawyer/ accountant guy to see what we can do. Good? Phil CROSS CHRIS I am very gratefull about the information that you sent to me. Well I guess its time for us to get started., The sucess of this transaction lies basically on you and little on me because I must not be known as the giver of information to you. Please feel free to call me on +234-1-4744497 at any time of the day if you need my assisitance. I prepared below a letter of claim which you are to fill and send to the Central Bank Of Nigeria at the email.cbn-ng1@cbn-ng1.cjb.net LETTER OF CLAIM TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I AM PHIL MUNGLERS ,A CITIZEN OF JAPAN AND RELATIVE TO LATE ENGINEER WILLIAM MUNGLERS. MEAN WHILE, I AM WRITING THIS LETTER IN RESPECT OF MY LATE RELATIVE, WHO DIED IN 2002, HE DEPOSITED SOME FUNDS TO YOUR BANK.I WOULD BE VERY GLAD IF MY INHERITANCE ISSUE IS LOOKED INTO AND THE FUND PAID INTO MY BANK ACCOUNT MY PERSONAL DETAILS ARE AS FOLLOWS NAME OF BANK...... ADDRESS OF BANK...... ROUTING NUMBER...... ACCOUNT NUMBER..... OCCUPATION....... MARITAL STATUS........ AGE............................ SEX.............................. PHONE NUMBER............... FURTHERMORE, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION OR WOULD WISH TO CONTACT ME ON THIS MATTER PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO BY CONTACTING ME ON THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR EVER ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS. YOURS SINCERELY PHIL MUNGLERS FOR THE FAMILY PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross, That's a beautiful form, man, but do I have to put "God bless" at the end? I don't want to come across as being some kind of zealot. Also, is this bank dude going to accept my letter at face value or will I have to send some DNA sample to prove that I'm this dead cat's relative? We're in trouble if we do have to send him something - because I'm as much a relation to him as you are to Akira Kurosawa. What you say! Phil CROSS CHRIS Dear Phil Who is Akira Kurosawa? and you sure have to put God bless at the end . If they will request for some sort of proove then we shall know who to go about it when we get to that bridge. In the main time, please do as i ask and then avoid using words like dude and all sort of foul languages because this is business we are talking about and also you are going to be dealing with a bank so you must be seen and known as responsible and not a street man. Get back to me as soon as you send the mail to the bank ok? Cross PHIL MUNGLERS June 19 Chris Cross I am offended by your vile insinuation that I am little more than an foul-mouthed thug. If you said that to my face I'd kick your ass. And what do you mean "who is Akira Kurosawa"? If you don't know already then you don't deserve to. I never liked him anyway. I don't appreciate your attitude towards me, Chriscross. Please apologize immediately. Will send my letter to the bank and we can then put this behind us and do good business together. I trust you agree with me on this matter. Phil PHIL MUNGLERS June 19 To: cbn-ng1@cbn-ng1.cjb.net LETTER OF CLAIM TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I AM PHIL MUNGLERS ,A CITIZEN OF JAPAN AND RELATIVE TO LATE ENGINEER WILLIAM MUNGLERS. MEAN WHILE, I AM WRITING THIS LETTER IN RESPECT OF MY LATE RELATIVE, WHO DIED IN 2002, HE DEPOSITED SOME FUNDS TO YOUR BANK.I WOULD BE VERY GLAD IF MY INHERITANCE ISSUE IS LOOKED INTO AND THE FUND PAID INTO MY BANK ACCOUNT MY PERSONAL DETAILS ARE AS FOLLOWS NAME OF BANK......Takeshi's Castle Financial Concern ADDRESS OF BANK......Rekka-ken, Japan ROUTING NUMBER......110100011 ACCOUNT NUMBER..... 52419566-0 OCCUPATION.......Racecar Operative MARITAL STATUS........Negative AGE............................27 SEX..............................Whenever possible PHONE NUMBER...............0081(0)9043999343 FURTHERMORE, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION OR WOULD WISH TO CONTACT ME ON THIS MATTER PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO BY CONTACTING ME ON THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR EVER ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS. GOD BLESS EVERYONE THAT YOU SEE AND CARE ABOUT, AND GOD BLESS ALL THOSE WHO SUBSEQUENTLY MEET THOSE PEOPLE, AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. YOURS SINCERELY PHIL MUNGLERS FOR THE FAMILY CHARLES SOLUDO gov_prof_soludo_charles_cbn02@yahoo.com 17 June 2006 Attention; Phillip Munglers, I see that this payment does not belong to you that's why you are sounding this way. My diplomats will be coming back to my country as soon as possible. Thanks, PHIL MUNGLERS June 17 Soludio, What is this fresh nonsense?? How can the diplomats leave without the money? More to the point, how do they leave WITH the money but WITHOUT the (yellow tag paper)? DO you mean they don't need the (yellow tag paper) after all? Excellent! In which case, tell them to get their lazy asses over to my house, and be quick about it. Please send me their flight details, I will meet them at whichever airport they will be landing at. Remain blessed, Phil PHIL MUNGLERS June 20 Chris Cross Well, what is happening for gods sake??? I wrote to yourself and the bank nearly a full 24 hours ago and have not received the courtesy of a reply. I will give the bank 6 (six) hours to reply to my email (the one you told me to send) then I'm going to lose my patience with them. I hope you are well and have not been killed in a car crash on the Sambagawa Expressway, or whatever it is called. Phil   Meanwhile another "Charles Soludo" approaches Phil with an exciting offer. CHARLES SOLUDO centralbankofniger53@terra.com.mx 17 June 2006 Subject: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION!!! CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA TINUBU SQUARE,VICTORIA ISLAND,LAGOS-NIGERIA FROM THE DESK OF PROF. CHARLES C. SOLUDO. EXECUTIVE GOVERNOR, CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN) SUB: TRANSFERFUND US$25 MILLION ONLY PAYMENT BILL NO: CBN/4071/DRC/1806/CTFC-313/00.CBN/GOV. PAYMENT BILL NO: CBN/4071/DRC/1806/CTFC-313/00.CBN/GOV. FILE NO:FGN/87653 ALLOCATION NO:10x453aa/765 PAYMENT CODE:43900aa SEQUENCE NO:PPP/3348/68 From:The Desk Of the Governor Professor,Charles Soludo Executive Governor (CBN) SUB: TRANSFER FUND: PAYMENT OF US$25 MILLION ONLY... Attn: Honorable Contractor, This is a receipt confirmation in Central Bank of Nigeria coming from International Communities in your favour,Please note that your approved sum in the amount of US$25 Million Only has placed on hold in this office for final official vetting before your fund will be released from this Bank to any of your authorised Bank account in writting.To execute the final clearance of your remittance,You are required to reconfirm as follows: 1) Your Full Name................... 2) Your Telephone Number.......... 3) Your Fax Number..................... 4) Your Official Mailing Address... 5) Your Country of origin.............. 6) Your Age and Status................Married 7) Girlfriend................................. 8) Your Banking Informations where you would like the fund to be transfered..................................... Once we receive the complete information from you .We shall vet your payment and thereafter release your fund without any further delay,In addition send us a copy of your International Passport or any other certified ID for in dentification to avoid wrong payment . for more clarification and for immediate transfer of your funds please get back to me for more info using my official mailing address : charles_5444@hotmail.com or Please you can as well call me to comfirm this notification using my direct Telephone Number: 234-806-525-6044 i wait to hear from you. CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOURS SINCERELY.   This confuses Phil and he ignores it. Yet there are more "Soludos" to come! Meanwhile Cross Chris Cross of the original Team Soludo gets back to Phil. CROSS CHRIS Mr Phil, How are you today? i hope everything is getting on well. I will like you to keep me posted as soon as you hear from the bank people ok? I have tried to give you call several times and you would not just pick up your phone when and if it rings. Why are you avoiding my calls? Any way, my wife just put to birth now and i am rushing down to the hospital to see my new born girl. Try to get a hold of me as soon as you read this mail. Cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chriss Cross It seems as though we have crossed in the mail. Chris-crossed if you will. As I mentioned, I have not heard from the bank. This is most disappointing. Still, if you are busy with a new child I won't bring you down with the evident problems of the bank. Go to your wife, sir! Congrats, anaki. Phil CROSS CHRIS Phill, Calm down, as far as you say you have sent them a letter, then you will most definitely hear from them, PHIL MUNGLERS June 21 I'm still waiting. How's the sprog, by the way? CROSS CHRIS Phill, I got information that the bank has contacted you twice and you still say you are waiting. Can you check your junk mail or bulk mail for the banks letter if you do not have it sitting right in your inbox. and why have you refused to answer your phone why? Cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross, The bank must be confused. I have not received anything from them at all. Their lack of respect for our enquiry is annoying. Nobody has informed me of any phone call. You must understand two things: 1) I am a racing driver, not an office-dwelling bean counter. There are no phones in any of my cars. 2) I don't speak English, I am merely able to read and write the language. If this is going to be a problem then maybe I should bring in my lawyer/ accountant guy. He'll be of immense value to this transaction. He doesn't mess around, I can tell you that. Keep it in mind. Meanwhile, I still wait for the banks reply. I asked how your child was. I would appreciate a response. Please pray (or whatever it is you people do) for Japan to beat World Champions Brazil tomorrow, and progress to the next stage of the World Cup. Phil PHIL MUNGLERS Bank Attention, whoever you might be. It's unfortunate that I seem to have caught you in the middle of your Bone Idle Week, or whatever backwards celebration or state of mind you are currently finding yourself in, but I am waiting to do business here. Respond to my enquiry NOW or I'll send some guys round to collect my money personally. Phil PHIL MUNGLERS June 22 Chris Cross, I wrote to the bank on monday. Tomorrow is friday. They have not replied. They are delaying this transaction, they are taking it as a childs play. They are not serious. How is your child, I asked you. You're the miggida miggida miggida Mac Daddy! Reply immediately Phil CROSS CHRIS Phill, My child is doing well. The bank has written to you twice and you say that you have not heard from them. May be there is something wrong with your email account. Why dont you just open a yahoomail account and write to them again from that account. The bank needs proove 1 Scanned copy of your drivers liscence or international passport 2. they need scanned copy of bill in your name 3. They need affidavit of claim from Federal high court Nigeria 4. Police report from Nigeria police force. 5. 670.00 dollars as cost of transfer charges I ment with mr james bruce of the bank who is suppose to be your payment officer and he gave me all the above details. I hope we would not have problems with you trying to proove your identity. Japan is out of the worldcup Cross PHIL MUNGLERS June 23 Chris Cross, I checked my bulk folder and there was nothing in there from the bank. I can only suggest that they cannot spell properly. They deal in numbers instead of words and as such those kind of people are prone to making stupid mistakes. Now then, relating to your list: 1) I can provide a scan of my driving license for you, no probs 2) I do not pay any bills personally so have no bills with my name on 3) An affi-what-vit? I have never herad of such an item. Which part of the car does it come from? 4) I am not known to the Nigerian police. 5) 670 Yen? No probs here either. That's only the price of one beer! I am filled with a sense of hatred for that fat ugly bastard Ronaldo. Did you pray for Japan's saka squad like I asked you to? You can't have done otherwise they would still be in the World Cup. This means that it is entirely your fault that they finished bottom of the group and are on their way home. Glad to hear that you child is well. What have you called her? Perhaps a traditional African name like Mariam or Jewel? Reply immediately please, Phil CROSS CHRIS Phil 1ST you are not known to the nigerian police and thats the more reason why the bank needs a police report from them. Secondly an affidavit of claim is a document sworn in court by an attorney that stipulates that you are actually quallified in all ramifications to get the 16.4 m us dollars. All these documents are going to cost me about 7,000.00 dollars to come by Lastly the cost of transfer charges is in dollars and not in yen. So I guess my share of the money will be way more than yours because I will be taken care of the documents while you take care of the cost of transfer charges.I will like you to send the scanned copy of utility bill to the bank new email address at" centralbankng@account.la let me know as soon as you have the cost of transfer ready and also the scanned copy of Id. I will proceed now to get the police report and also the affidavit of claim from the court. Reply Now cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross, Thank you for your answers. I'm a little bemused as to how the Nigerian police can possibly write a report on someone they know nothing about on another continent. Still, this is their problem, not ours. What is all this talk of dollars for? I don't deal in such worthless currency, I'm Japanese. You're Nigerian. There is no logic in using dollars and I will not entertain any requests for such money. So the bank have a new email address, do they? I guess this means they were having problems before, like I told you. I'll email them the scan once I've had time to do it. I'll need to involve my own lawyer, so you should expect his involvement soon. I just hope he's available. Reply immediately. CROSS CHRIS Phil I have never met you before and I hope to travel down to meet withy you in Japan as soon as we complete this transaction. But I guess you are a very rude man. You must be very disrespectful going by the way you write and the languages you use. My wife is not happy with this niether am I Cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross I am in receipt of your extremely rude email. How dare you accuse ME of being rude when I have been nothing of the sort. I have done exactly as required of me so far, I've tried to find some common ground with you by discussing saka (football), and I've asked how your kiddie is. Are you drunk, sir? You are quite welcome to come to Japan, I will welcome you to my wonderful country. Before you get here though, you need to knock it off with the attitude or the only thing that will be getting knocked off is your head from your shoulders. I will not tell anyone that YOU single-handedly knocked Japan out of the world cup by not praying for them liked I asked. I suggest your wife spend more time looking after your newborn instead of concerning herself with my alleged "rudeness". Honestly man, stay off the khat for a few hours and stop acting weird. Phil CROSS CHRIS Phill Look I have a lot of work load to do as well as alot of propective customers to attend to. When you have the 670 dollars as well as your scanned id I will be glad to round up this deal. I can see very well that you do not have a good attitude and dont appreciate my effort. Ill rather spend it with people who do. Bye PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross I am not prepared to do business with anyone with your bad attitude. You will actually appreciate my effort or you will stop wasting my time with expensive jokes. Phil PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross Considering that you have just had a kid, I understand that your recent bad attitude and behavior is just the stress talking. I suggest we forgive each other and work towards the successful conclusion of modalities. Once we've claimed the dead fools money you can give your ankle-biter a decent upbringing, keeping her away from criminal scumbags, swendlers and frurdstars. I have applied to the bank again, hopefully they'll have the consideration to reply to me this time. Send me the police thing immediately. I've attached my license for you. Phil CROSS CHRIS June 24 2006 Phil, I got your mail and the liscence in it. The truth is we cannot go forward if we keep getting at each other like this. Yes !lets forgive each other and move on. I will be getting the police report and affidavit of claim by tommorrow or later this evening. I will like you to send the transfer charges through western union money transfer with the below information. Name of reciever" james bruce lagos nigeria text question" Phill text answer"Munglers You are to send to me the 10 digit mtcn money control number that will enable me track the transfer charges. As soon as i pick up the funds then I will submit all the requirements to the bank then we can now sit and wait for the transfer to be done. You can send money in yen that is equivalent to the amount in dollars. Cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross Mikhail will be dealing with us from this point onwards. As I said earlier, I'm no office-boy, and all this talk of money transfers makes my exhaust backfire. You suggested Western Union. I'm afraid I have no idea what that is, sounds like a train to me. Mikhail, please handle the money modalities. You have complete control. Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV MR CROSS I AM MIKHAIL ILICHY ROMAN STROGANOV_I AM MR MUNGLERS' LAWYER AND FINANCIAL ADVISER_THIS DEADLOCK IN MODALITIES OVER A PALTRY $670 IS RIDICULOUS_SURELY WE CAN WORK OUT A COMPROMISE DEAL???_GET BACK TO ME MAN AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE - S CROSS CHRIS Phil I got a mail from your lawyer and I must tell you that I have absolutely nothing to do with him except you. If you want your lawyer to be on this as from hence forth then you can direct him to deal one on one with the bank. As for me, I would only do what is right and what I know is best for you and I. If you know that you are not going to be able to get the 670 dollars you better let me know now so that I can put a stop on the documents that I ORDER FOR. cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross, I'm afraid that Mikhail's involvement in this is mandatory - he controls my money. Obtaining the 670yen will not be a problem, I am an incredibly wealthy man and the only reason I am doing this transaction is to help you out. That said, any cash I make from this will be very helpful in bolstering my already impressive fleet of cars. The bank have STILL not replied to me. Are you certain their staff can read? Phil CROSS CHRIS Phill, I have told you a lot times that it is 670 dollars and not yen. Fine if your lawyer be involved in this then what is his view and what does he want to get this done with. If the bank has not replied to you then I think your email address has a problem with taking the bank mail. GET A YAHOO.COM ADDRESS LIKE MINE. PHIL MUNGLERS June 25 Chris Cross Don't get uppity with me, young man. I'm trying to help you here. As I have told YOU lots of times, I do not deal in dollars. I don't deal in dollars because I am Japanese. I will never deal in dollars because - I imagine - I will *always* be Japanese. Any futher requests for this worthless currency will be dealt with by Munglers exchange rate: 1 dollar = 1 yen. There is blatantly nothing wrong with my mailbox, otherwise I would not be able to write to you, would I? I can only conclude that the bank need more help using their interweb machines. Please tell them that in order to send me an email they can read the one I already sent to them and click on "reply", then they can type their message in the blank box thing. Once they finish, they press "send" and the email will be sent to me. I will then open the email, read the contents and act accordingly. We will test you theory about Yahpoo. Mikhail, you have a yahoo account; please write to centralbankng@ account.la to find out what they are playing at. Ookiosewada, Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL FRANKLY CHRIS IS MAKING *ME* CROSS_YOU HAVE THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT SIR AS I CANNOT SEE WHAT THIS PIFFLING 670 YEN IS FOR_HAS HE NOT EATEN OR SOMETHING???_CROSS_HAVE YOU SENT MY CLIENT THOROUGH DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE OF THIS CLAIM???_AND WHERE IS THE BREAKDOWN OF CHARGES FOR THESE MODALITIES???_I SUGGEST THAT INSTEAD OF DISRESPECTFULLY HECTORING MY CLIENT_WHO EARNS IN A WEEK WHAT YOU AND YOUR VILLAGERS MIGHT EARN IN THREE YEARS_I SUGGEST YOU LOOK TO YOUR GORMLESS GANG AND GET ON WITH MODALITIES THIS INSTANT_IS THAT CLEAR??? - S CROSS CHRIS Phil, If 1 dollar equals to 1 yen then we probably have no problem of you sending the 670.00 yen. All that matters now is the documents and the cost of transfer charges. Go to a western Union Money transfer service location in your area and send the cost of transfer charges to James Bruce city: lagos -nigeria. I will get the documents and scan them for your record then we can have these funds transfered into your account and ill relocate to Japan. That will be all. NO MORE SUGGESTIONS AND NO MORE ARGUMENT. Since it wouldnt be a problem to get the transfer cost then why waste time. Cross PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross, I told you, there will be no problem in sending the cash. The only thing you need to realize is that it won't be me that sends it, it will be Mikhail. That's why we need to keep him posted as to what is going on. Stop ordering me about. The last person who told me what to do got a sword up his nose. Phil CROSS CHRIS I have nothing to say to you. MIKHAIL STROGANOV VERY WELL CROSS PHIL_I SUGGEST WE TERMINATE THESE MODALITIES WITH THIS GOBBY BUSHMAN AND GO WITH JEWEL TAYLOR_I SPOKE TO HER BEFORE AND SHE HAS ALREADY MADE A GOODWILL PAYMENT OF $10,000_WHEN YOU ARE READY I AM HAPPY TO CONTINUE MODALITIES WITH HER_A FINE FIGURE OF A WOMAN TOO IF I MAY SAY WHO HAS A PENCHANT FOR RACING DRIVERS - S PHIL MUNGLERS June 26 2006 Mikhail Perhaps we should give the mac daddy the time he asked for. In the meanwhile we need to get some kind of response from that stupid and lazy bank. Maybe we should drop them a friendly reminder. Chris Cross, I told you that we'll be dealing with Mikhail from now on. Deal with it. Phil PHIL MUNGLERS< June 24 2006 To: centralbankng@account.la Bank. Here is my claim again. Please see fit to reply this time. Phil LETTER OF CLAIM TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I AM PHIL MUNGLERS ,A CITIZEN OF JAPAN AND RELATIVE TO LATE ENGINEER WILLIAM MUNGLERS. MEAN WHILE, I AM WRITING THIS LETTER IN RESPECT OF MY LATE RELATIVE, WHO DIED IN 2002, HE DEPOSITED SOME FUNDS TO YOUR BANK.I WOULD BE VERY GLAD IF MY INHERITANCE ISSUE IS LOOKED INTO AND THE FUND PAID INTO MY BANK ACCOUNT MY PERSONAL DETAILS ARE AS FOLLOWS NAME OF BANK......Takeshi's Castle Financial Concern ADDRESS OF BANK......Rekka-ken, Japan ROUTING NUMBER......110100011 ACCOUNT NUMBER..... 52419566-0 OCCUPATION.......Racecar Operative MARITAL STATUS........Negative AGE............................27 SEX..............................Whenever possible PHONE NUMBER...............0081(0)9043999343 FURTHERMORE, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION OR WOULD WISH TO CONTACT ME ON THIS MATTER PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO BY CONTACTING ME ON THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR EVER ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS. GOD BLESS EVERYONE THAT YOU SEE AND CARE ABOUT, AND GOD BLESS ALL THOSE WHO SUBSEQUENTLY MEET THOSE PEOPLE, AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. YOURS SINCERELY PHIL MUNGLERS FOR THE FAMILY PHIL MUNGLERS BANK!!!!!!!!! This is the FOURTH time I've written to you now. THE FOURTH TIME. Respond to me NOW, or I will instruct my lawyer to start legal action against you. Mikhail, if this tit hasn't replied by this time tomorrow, sue his ass for stealing my money. Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL AS YOU WISH SIR_I THINK YOU HAVE BEEN VERY KIND TO THESE BUSHMEN IF YOU ASK ME -S PHIL MUNGLERS June 27 2006 Cc: centralbankng@account.la Mikhail, No word from Chriscross or the bank. Perhaps you are right and we should leave them. I do not understand these people. We offer to help time and time again and they refuse to accept it. Fulk them, I say. Phil PHIL MUNGLERS June 28 2006 What *exactly* is the delay now? Why haven't you sent me the documents as promised? Why have the bank STILL not written to me? How much more goddamn time are you idiots going to waste? CROSS CHRIS June 28 2006 Subject: oops! To: Phil Munglers Firstly, for the solem reason that you would not address people with respect and gratitude then we have no deal. I have told you countless times, the bank has written to you and all that is required to get this done are the documents and cost of transfer charges. I told you I will handle the documents YES! but on the basis that I am sure you have the cost of transfer fee ready to be sent or sent before I proceed to get the documents. Anything other than that we will not proceed. I got a photo of the money in the bank !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Good day PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross, Respect must be earned. Once I see some signs that you and the bank are going to take this matter serious and start to behave with efficiency and promptness, I will treat you with respect. The bank are liars. They have never written to me. All I got from them was some bot telling me they'd closed for the day. What use is that? I can't cash that, can I? Mikhail, do you have any idea how to progress these modalities? Phil CHARLES SOLUDO centralbankng@account.la 28 Jun 2006 Central bank Nigeria WE HAVE CLOSED FOR THE DAY, YOUR MATTER WILL BE LOOKED INTO. PHIL MUNGLERS To Bankbot: Robotica, Compute: you have wasted two weeks of my life. I want them back. Reply at once, bastard. MIKHAIL STROGANOV PERHAPS IT SHOULD SAY_THIS FESTAC TOWN INTERNET CAFE HAS CLOSED FOR THE DAY AS WE HAVE BEEN RAIDED YET AGAIN BUT NO MATTER WE HAVE BRIBED THE POLICEMEN AND WILL BE OPEN AS USUAL TOMORROW AFTER THE UN AID DROP - S MIKHAIL STROGANOV CROSS YOU BLITHERING IDIOT_WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR DOCUMENTS???_REPLY TO MY CLIENT THIS INSTANT!!! - - S CHARLES SOLUDO cbnigeria001@yahoo.co.uk 28 Jun 2006 CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA, HEAD OFFICE, U.B.A HOUSE,57 MARINA, LAGOS-NIGERIA. TEL:+234-1-8707842 ATTN: MR PHIL MUNGLERS THE MANAGEMENT OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA HAS EARLIER TODAY DELIBRATED ISSUES ON YOUR FUNDS TRANSFER. BE INFORMED THAT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA WILL NOT BE LIABLE OR RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY LOSS OF FUNDS IF YOU, MR PHIL MUNGLERS FAIL TO TENDER TO US A RIGHT AND CORRECT STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT. IT BEATS OUR IMAGINATION HOWEVER THAT YOU FAILED TO RESPOND TO US AFTER SERIES OF MAILS HAVE BEEN SENT ACROSS TO YOU. HOWEVER, WE WILL BE NEEDING YOU TO PROVIDE TO US SOME IMPORTANT AND VITAL DOCUMENTS THAT WILL CERTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE AND ALSO ENABLE US TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT AS STIPULATED BY THE BANKING LAWS OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA. 1. SCANNED COPY OF VALID I.D IN YOUR NAME. 2. SCANNED COPY OF WATER OR ELECTRIC BILLS. 3. POLICE REPORT BY THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE 4. AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM AS TRUE NEXT OF KIN FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT NIGERIA 5. COT COST OF TRANSFER CHARGES ..... $ 670.00 DOLLARS AS SOON AS ALL THESE DOCUMENTS ARE RECIEVED THE FUNDS WILL BE WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT IN 2 HOURS. REGARDS GOVERNOR OF CBN PROFESSOR CHARLES SOLUDO PHIL MUNGLERS Bank So you've changed your email address again, have you? Little suprise, your last mailbox was as effective as a rickshaw in a drag race. It is comforting to see that I am dealing with a banker of such repute, Mr Soludo. Having a conversation with your robot was a sorrowful experience and one which I do not wish to have again. Keep that robot away from the keyboard please. Now then. I can provide you with a) a scan of my driving license b) the money The other docs will be provided as soon as I can get them. I am expecting them from a guy who is a little dimwitted and slow, but I have a degree of faith in him regardless. Note that any money will be sent in Yen: 670 of them, yes? In regards to money matters, please direct all of your demands to my accountant/ lawyer, Mikhail. His address is xxxxxxxxx-x-x@xxxxx.com . If you're asking for it, he'll give it to you. Remain blessed, Phil CHARLES SOLUDO cbnigeria001@yahoo.co.uk ("Soludo's" e-mails come with an animated graphic, by the way - red stripe with scrolling slogan meant to inspire confidence:) <marquee style="font-weight: bold; width: 1104px; font-family: Verdana; height: 12px;" width="1264" height="6" >Central Bank Of Nigeria , The largest real time online banking network system in Nigeria.  We put our customers first in all that we do. Email: <font color="#003399"> <a target="_blank" href="http://login.easy.la/DEFANGED_javascript:top.opencompose%28%27cbn-ng1@cbn-ng1.cjb.net %27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27%29"> cbn-ng1@cbn-ng1.cjb.net</a></font></marquee> etc. etc. <a target="_blank" title="mailto:info@fanlocator.com"><strong><font color="#003399"><img title="http://www.fanlocator.com/assets/images/email4.gif" etc. etc. CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA, HEAD OFFICE, U.B.A HOUSE,57 MARINA, LAGOS-NIGERIA. TEL:+234-1-8707842 ATTN: MR PHIL MUNGLERS SIR, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE. ALL THAT WE ARE TRYING TO DO IS KEEP YOU UPDATED. WE WILL REQUIRE TO SEND IN YEN THE EQUIVALENT OF 670.00 DOLLARS. SO, YOU FIND OUT HOWMANY YEN MAKE UP 670.00 DOLLARS THEN ITS OK TO SEND IN YEN. WE EXPECT THE DOCUMENT FROM YOU SOON. PROF. CHARLES SOLUDO PHIL MUNGLERS Mr Soludo Thank you for your email. My accountant will arrange the transfer of the funds to you. Please liase with him on the matter and he will ensure that modalities are completed with no problems. There might be a slight delay in getting the documents which I hope you will forgive - our supplier is a little bit moronic. He sent an email earlier which contained the word "whatever" and nothing else. Remain blessed, Phil TAKUMI FUJIWARA June 29 [This email from Takumi to Chriscross didn't mean anything at all - just random gibberish copied from a website with occasional English mixed in.] CROSS CHRIS What ever PHIL MUNGLERS What are you talking about you idiot The bank have written (finally!) and have asked for the documents. Send them to me immediately. MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL WE ARE OBVIOUSLY WASTING OUR TIME WITH THIS MUPPET-HEADED MUGU_LET US CONTINUE RISK-FREE MODALITES AWAY FROM THIS WRETCHED STINKING FOOL - S PHIL MUNGLERS Mikhail We must remember that ChrisCross has just had a child and will no doubt be preoccupied with looking after it. Plus he's a khat freak and his brain is probably in no fit state for modalities. Perhaps we should give him some slack, especially since things seem to be progressing with Soludio. Matane Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL VERY WELL_IF YOU WISH TO GRANT ONE MORE CHANCE TO CROSS THEN I AM AS ALWAYS HAPPY TO COMPLY BUT I WOULD URGE CAUTION_HE IS CLEARLY RATHER TRUCLUENT BUT THIS COULD BE A NATIVE TRAIT RATHER THAN ANYTHING TOO DIFFICULT TO GET ROUND AS LONG AS WE ARE AS YOU SAY TOLERANT OF THIS - - - S MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL EXCELLENT OF TAKUMI TO GET INVOLVED_I ALWAYS KNEW HE WAS A GOOD MAN_KEEP THE CUSTARD BOILING - S CROSS CHRIS NO PHIL MUNGLERS Why not, idiot. Relent with your idiocy and send me the documents you said you would, idiot. PHIL MUNGLERS July 1 Chrisscross Wake up you useless element. Medicant. We are progressing modalities here and are ready to send the money. So get out of bed, change your filthy t-shirt, get your sandals on, and do some work for once. We're waiting to hear from you. Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL ARE YOU CERTAIN ABOUT THIS SIR?_CROSS HAS DEGENERATED INTO A SINGLE-SYLLABLE MUTTERING DRUG ADDICT WHO LIVES WITH A DISEASED GOAT_I WOULD URGE CAUTION EVEN THOUGH I NOTE THE BANK ARE FINALLY WAKING UP FROM THEIR OWN DRUNKEN STUPOR_PERHAPS WE CAN DISCUSS THIS AT VLADIMIR'S??? - S PHIL MUNGLERS Mikhail I appreciate and understand your point about Chriscross' recent insane behavior, but it seems that he has come through for us finally. God knows what prompted his sobriety, but he seems to be actually helping us with the modalities for a change, instead of taking voyages to trip-out city. Maybe now it's our turn to have a skinful. I'll see you in Vladimir's later! Phil CROSS CHRIS You can call me what ever you like! I have faxed the document to the bank. The deal is up to you know. Good day PHIL MUNGLERS Chris Cross Well done, sir! You have done your duty with admirable efficiency, given your recent problems. Tell me, Chris Cross, what do you and your good lady wife plan to do with your lives in Japan? Do you know what you have to do before you can immigrate here? I will help you. > You can call me what ever you like! I shall take you up on that later. Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV VERY WELL_I NOTE HE HAS CONTACTED US AGAIN AND I LOOK FORWARD TO ASSISTING IN THESE RISK-FREE MODALITITES_NAZDRAVYE! - S CROSS CHRIS 2 July 2006 PHILL MY COMPUTER DID NOT ATTACH THE AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM BECAUSE IT WAS VERY SLOW. I WAS ABLE TO ATTACH THE POLICE REPORT SO VIEW IT AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF. WHEN IT IS TIME TO COME TO JAPAN I WILL TELL YOU WHAT WE PLAN ON DOING PHIL MUNGLERS What a professional looking document, if I may say so. MIKHAIL STROGANOV A STUNNINGLY_AMAZINGLY_BRILLIANTLY_LAME DOCUMENT AS ALWAYS_GLAD TO SEE THAT THE LADS' DOCUMENTS ARE UP TO THEIR USUAL STANDARD_STILL_MAKES A CHANGE FROM THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT OR DEATH CERTIFICATE ONE USUALLY GETS_LET US HOPE WE CAN MAKE CHRIS CROSS AGAIN_KEEP THE CUSTARD BOILING AND REGARDS FROM VLADIMIR'S ON SMEGAROON ISLAND - S CHARLES SOLUDO cbncontractpayment2006@virgilio.it OFFICE OF THE EXECUTIVE GOVERNOR CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA ABUJA ZARIA STREET P.M.B 0187 GARKI ABUJA. Date:30 JUNE, 2005. [<-- yup that's what it said] YOU'RE CONTRACT PAYMENT REF #:FMA/PED/FGN/1473/99-AP- 05/CBN. .................................................................................................. PROF.CHARLES SOLUDO Attn: PRESIDENT/DIRECTOR From the records of outstanding contractors due for payment with the Federal Government of Nigeria, your name and other infomation was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding contractors who have not yet received their payments.We apologies for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences and inflict that we might have indulge you through, However we were having some minor problems with the ministry through which this contract was executed,which is inexplicable, and have held us stranded and indolent, not having the aspiration to devote our 100% assiduity in accrediting foreign contractors payments. We apologies once again. I wish to inform you now that your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this mail. Also note that from my record in my file your outstanding contract payment is US$6.5M ( Six Million,Five Hundred United States dollars). Kindly re-confirm to me the followings: - 1) Your full name. 2) Phone, fax and mobile number. 3) Company name, position and address. 4) Profession, age and marital status. 5) Working I'd/Int'l passport. 6) NATIONALITY The above listed information is very important towards accrediting your payment.As soon as this information is received, your payment will be made to you through telegraphic transfer from central bank of Nigeria (CBN) to your destination bank. Contact me as soon as you receive this letter for onward processing of your payment. Regards, PROF CHARLES SOLUDO. The Executive Governor Central Bank Of Nigeria (CBN) PHIL MUNGLERS Sir Why have you changed your email address again? How many more times do you intend to do this? Do I use the new one, or is the old one still ok? Anyway, you asked for my details again. Here you go: Phillip Akiharabashi Munglers Shi-Ichi-Kyu Dodonpachi Pref. Samanosuke Akechi NAMCO Japan, R34 AE86 Tel: 0081(0)9043999343 Age: 27 Occupation: Racecar operative Nationality: Japanese Married: Certainly not. What a ridiculous suggestion. We are STILL waiting for documents like the Police thing. The person who is providing us is a twat and I suspect he is also a drug user and a homosexual. Please send us details of where to send the payment of 670 and I shall make it so. Yes indeedy... Phil CHARLES SOLUDO cbnigeria001@yahoo.co.uk Dear Customer. We did not change our email address again. The mail that you recieved from that email address is not from us. You have tobe very carefull as to who you talk to and what you say so that you dont get ripped off. We were earlier today in reciept of your documents from Mr Cross Chris and everything has been proven original after been scanned for checkup. We will like for you to send to us again your banking details were you would like the funds be transfered into. As soon as we recieve the cost of transfer charges we will wire the money to your account in 2 hours. Regards Prof Charles Soludo PHIL MUNGLERS July 2 Bank What do you mean that email wasn't from you? It had your name at the bottom of it! Are you deliberately trying to confuse things here? I would advise you to pay more attention to what email accounts you are using, you have had more than enough as it is. Good news that Chrisscross finally did his duty though. Here's my bank details as per your request: NAME OF THE BANK: Takeshi's Castle Financial Concern ACCOUNT NUMBER: 52419566-0 SWIFT NUMBER: 568-963/01 ROUTE NUMBER: 110100011 Please make sure the cash is wired across by wednesday, I need to have a new road built on Mount Dratsabugum, a road which has more hairpins than are absolutely necessary. I also plan to have Japan's largest man-made flying badger enclosure built right next to the road. My opponents won't know what hit them. Arigato, bank-san! When this is over, I will treat you to a night out in Tokyo. The women here, they love you long time. Phil CHARLES SOLUDO cbnigeria001@yahoo.co.uk Dear Customer, You are required to send the cost of transfer charges through western union mnoney transfer to the name. James Bruce address: lagos - Nigeria text question: Money text answer : Transfer Amount: 670 dollars. You will be required to send us the 10 digit mtcn tracking number so as to enable us track the funds for pick up. Hope to hear from you soon. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! Regard Prof. Charles Soludo PHIL MUNGLERS Bank Please send any demands for payment to my accountant. His address is xxx-xxxxxxxxxxx@xoxoxox.xxx Mikhail, arrange for the 670yen to be paid. Thanks Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV PHIL INDEED I WILL ARRANGE PAYMENT_BUT NOT UNTIL I SEE A BREAKDOWN OF CHARGES FOR THESE MODALITIES_670 YEN SEEMS VERY STEEP FOR A SIMPLE WIRE TRANSFER_MR SOLUBLE_PLEASE ADVISE BEFORE THESE MODALITIES DISSOLVE ONCE AGAIN - S   Meanwhile, another (?) Charles Soludo contacts Phil with a similar proposition. CHARLES SOLUDO charlespvt@msn.com From the Desk Of: Prof Charles Soludo Executive Governor (CBN). ATTN: SIR, My name is Prof Charles.C.Soludo, the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria. I am from Nigeria and also a married man with two kids. As the Executive Governor of the bank, it's my duty to send financial reports to any where in the world. On the course of the last year 2005 end of this year's financial report, I discovered Thirty Million Dollars (30,000,000.00) that a contract with the federal government was executed by a foreign contractor, who at the point of execution did not receive his payments. Coupled with the fact that the computer departments of the central bank was burn down some months ago before I resumed this humble office in May 2004, and all available information as regards the information that was dropped by the foreign contractor was missing as well, when we were able to trace burnt files we were only left with his country name(A FOREIGNER) which I can not see clearly. As a result, I, want to transfer this sum to a trusted Oversea Partner as the true beneficiary, through the Central Bank of Nigeria, as we Civil Servants in Nigeria are not allowed to operate foreign Account. Further more, I have PLACED this fund on a SUSPENCE ACCOUNT without a beneficiary. As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive this money into your bank account. I intend to part 40% of this fund t o you, 10% for the expenses incurred in documents, while 50% shall be for me. I need to assured you that there are practically no risks involved in this transaction. It's going to be a bank-to-bank transfer. All I need from you is to stand as the original contractor of this fund by assisting me with a foreign account where this fund will be deposited. Finally, I will appreciate your timely response and upon the reply of this message, I will send some of the vital documents to avoid any distraction over this transaction and to prove the genuine of this business. YOURS SINCERELY, PROFESSOR CHARLES C. SOLUDO, GOVERNOR, CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN). NOTE:RESPONSE SHOULD BE MADE ON THIS EMAIL:cbngovprofccs@hotmail.com PHIL MUNGLERS Bank For gods sake, Mr Soludo, why have you opened ANOTHER email account?? And what is this fresh nonsense about $30million?? What about the modalities we are already handling?? Where the hell is the breakdown of charges that my accountant asked for two days ago? You are delaying this transaction. Now for the last time STOP CONFUSING ME WITH ALL THESE EMAIL ADDRESSES, and SEND MIKHAIL THE THING HE ASKED FOR, WHATEVER IT WAS. Baka, Phil   And then another (?) Charles Soludo contacts SCAMORAMA. Plainly there are too many Soludos running around. The real one is probably Not Amused. CHARLES SOLUDO centralbanknigeria_ng02@yahoo.com From: centralbanknigeria_ng02@yahoo.com Subject: FROM CENTRAL BANK GET BACK TO ME Date: July 4, 2006 To: centralbanknigeria_ng02@yahoo.com Delivered-To: Scamorama! Received: from [193.220.50.236] <-- Swift Networks, Victoria Island Lagos am Charles c Soludo, the central bank of Nigeria governor. The union bank plc has given me the authority to transfer the total sum of US$5.1 million into your account as the beneficiary of the deceased person Williams Slater since you are related to him. According to the chief executive officer of the Union bank plc, Mallam Abubakar. Sir/Madam, immediately your contact and banking details is forwarded to me such as: 1. Full name 2. Residential address 3. Banking name 4. Bank address 5. Bank account number 6. Occupation 7. Sex 8. Age. This fund will be transferred into your bank account less than 7 official working days. Regards Prof. Charles c Soludo, Central Bank of Nigeria Governor   Scamorama did not leap on this offer - it's best to leave such deals to professionals like Phil. CHARLES SOLUDO cbnigeria001@yahoo.co.uk Mr Phill, How are you today? Please do not respond to that email or to any other email address that claims to be from me. We are really trying to face scam here in this country and some people are claiming to be your representative here in Nigeria so that they can have the funds wired to their account. We will not be held responsible for any loss if you fail to respond to this email address only. Ignore any mail from any one claiming to be me and read mails that come from this email address only. I have sent to your account the charges breakdown. You dont teach us how we run our bank here! Prof Charles Soludo PHIL MUNGLERS July 4 Sir, I hope you understand why I'm finding this so confusing. You have used three email addresses already and now you tell me that I am being targeted by frudlets who are trying to rob me? Well, sir, I hope you will also understand my request that you send me your identification before Mikhail sends you the money. I'm sure you have nothing to hide but in this day in age you never know. That idiot Takumi, my chief engineer, once purchased what he thought was a LanEvo 5 for Y900,000. It turned out to be a K-Class engine (presumably from a Cappuccino) with a Lego-built shell around it. It was so heavy that it barely moved with that pathetic engine in it, and yet Takumi still managed to smash it to pieces against a vending machine in downtown Yokohama. Thankfully, due to it being made of Lego, I made Takumi rebuild it and sell it on to another unsuspecting mug. I do not mean to tell you how to do your job. I didn't know you had emailed Mikhail - I'm a racing driver not a spiritualist. Phil MIKHAIL STROGANOV SOLUBLE FOR GODS SAKE MAN SEND ME A BREAKDOWN OF THE CHARGES_WHAT IS THIS NATIVE JIGGERY-POKERY???_ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL THE WOOL OVER MY CLIENT'S EYES???_IF YOU ARE TRYING TO PULL SOME SORT OF THIRD-WORLD FAST ONE I WILL HAVE YOU TRACKED DOWN AND SHOT THROUGH THE NOSE_NOW GET ON WITH IT YOU MORON - S