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Mrs Bola Dear I am a top civil servant in a governmental agency responsible for social services. I am priviledged to classified files. In 2001, a contract was awarded by my government to a joint German/Finnish engineering firm for urban roads rehabilitation and construction. The actual contract worth was $101million. The contract was successfully executed. The firm has been paid and they have since packed up their construction rigs and left the country. However the contracted was overestimated by $49million, and this sum my collegues and I are desirous to move out of ther country. I was making discreet enquiries here during a diplomatic gathering and a member of your diplomatic staff gave me your email address and advised I contact you. Please let me know if you are willing to assist. You will be well compensated. I wait to hear favourably from you. Best regards Mrs,Bola Phil Munglers Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2006 Madam What is this nonsense? What "diplomatic staff" are you talking about? All my staff are mechanics, and useless ones at that. Which one of them has been posing as a diplomat? Give me his name. He must be punished. Meanwhile, what are you talking about? Do you require help with something? Speak! Phil Mrs Bola Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2006 My dear, Thanks for your mail. I will be very much happy to conclude the business with you, sofar you will be capable of handling it without any problem.This is not a jock sir First, I will need your company name and address, together with your direct telephone and fax number. As soon as i have it, i will immediately go to the cooperate affairs commission here to register your compan y as one of the contractors that did the contract some years back, so with that, we will then apply to the finance house for the release of the fund to us. Note that at the end of the transaction, you will take 25% of the total sum, 65% for me and my partner here while 10% will be for any expences that we might incure during the process od actualising this goal. I will also want us to go into a partnership agreement that will bind everyone of us in this business, so i will need the below information from you to enable me prepare the partnership agreement. 1.YOUR FULL NAME. 2.YOUR COMPANY NAME 3.YOUR DIRECT CONTACT ADDRESS. 4.YOUR OCCUPATION 5.YOUR DIRECT TEL/FAX NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION. As soon as i have the above information, i will expadite action for onward registration of your company here. Awaiting. Mrs Bola How can I ignore someone who says "This is not a jock sir"?
INDEED NOT_ LET US
HOPE MRS EBOLA CAN GET THINGS MOVING IN THE RIGHT
DIRECTION FOR A CHANGE --
S
But then there is a bit of silence. Finally: Mrs Bola Dear Phil, Thank you for your email message and your concern in this matter. Actually, none of your mechanics has been poising as a diplomat. My message was directed to you and I was hoping that you are in a position to assist me with the receipt of the aforementioned amount of 49 M USD which was a surplus amount paid to some contractors who executed certain contracts with our government and has since collected their contract payment. The surplus amount was due to an over invoicing carried out by our office with a view to disbursing this huge amount with a capable and trustworthy foreigner who can present or stand for claim. We shall handle every issue here, you are only required to present a viable and low tax company bank account into which this funds will be transfered into. We have all the necessary details and informations including the backing of our accountant who will effect payment immediately upon your providing a proforma invoice claiming the above payment. We shall furnish you with a format or copy of materials which you will list in your proforma invoice to be used to present for the claim. Note that in the eyes of our government, this payment is considered to be already approved for payment and hence, there is no need for you to worry everything will be done in a legal manner and will be above board. I am looking forward to your urgent response accordingly. Best regards Mrs. Bola Phil Munglers Ms Bola Thank you for your email at last. I was beginning to think you had lost interest in this once in a lifetime opportunity. I am pleased to hear that none of my mechanics were pretending to be diplomats. They have as much decorum between them as a muslim cartoon protest. That being the case, where did you get my name from? I would like to know this before we progress. Remain blessed, Phil
Mikhail Stroganov:
VERY AMUSING PHIL IF I MAY SAY_MAY YOUR CUSTARD BE
CREAMY
S
Mrs Bola Dear Phil, Thank you for your email response and your question. I got your name over the internet, while sourcing for a reputable individual or company to do business with. As regards to my last email, I would like you to furnish a detailed response so that we know how to proceed accordingly. Regards Mrs. Bola Phil Munglers Madam Thank your for explaining where you found my details. It all makes sense now. I am not sure what detailed information you require so I will furnish you with my home address and telephone number: Phillip Bakamusha Munglers Shi-Ichi-Kyu Dodonpachi Pref. Samanosuke Akechi NAMCO Japan, R34 AE86 Tel: 0081(0)9043999343 Age: 27 What happens next? Phil Mrs Bola Dear Phil, Excuse my late response to your email. I received your full name, address and contact phone number. In a summary, we shall require the name of your company or organisation if you have one. We shall submit this information (your company name) to our Foreign payment office, which will be used to raise an application for payment of the mentioned funds in your favour. Several important documents and payment approvals will be secured in respect of this transfer and we shall require your full banking informations, where this amount can be transfered into. I will use this oppurtunity to inform you that, my assistant Mr. Martins Abednego, who is fully aware of this deal will be corresponding and communicating with you further as regrads this transaction. This is because he will be the person who will undertake the documentation and arrangements for the transfer in your favour. He will contact you by telephone, by tomorrow morning your time. You can also feel free to contact him on +228-9248971. He is fully informed on all details of the deal and you should consider him a partner in this deal, just like me. If you have any need to contact me, do not hesitate to do so. Regards Mrs. Bola Phil Munglers Mrs Bolax Thank you for your reply. You ask for my company name. While I do have my own racing team, Go Munglers!, they are not really an "official" company. The Japanese government is not aware of the existence of Go Munglers! which helps me when it comes to paying tax and whatnot - I simply do not bother. From here on it sounds like things are going to get rather more involved on the legal side of things. That being the case I will need to bring in my own representative, Mikhail Stroganov. He is a trusted friend and also acts as my lawyer, accountant, biographer, and occasional car washer when he is in Japan. As for your man, Mr. Martins Abednego, I'm afraid I will not be able to speak to him on the phone unless he is fluent in Japanese. I cannot speak English, I am merely able to read and write the language. Hopefully this won't be too much of a pain. Please send me this dude's email address and I'll begin modalities with him. Mikhail's email address is mikhailstroganov@yahoo.co.uk just in case you feel like writing and introducing yourself. Thanks, Phil Mikhail Stroganov MRS EBOLA PLEASE GET IN TOUCH IMMEDIATELY_MODALITIES DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT_
PHIL_ANY NEWS ON
THAT BRAND NEW CUSTARD-YELLOW SKYLINE???
- - S Mrs Bola Dear Mikhail, We where asked to contact you in respect of a particular transaction involving Philipp Munglers. We are sorry to take up any of your time. We have decided in the interest of certain principles of humanity decided to abandon this transaction with you and Philip. We have been retired involuntarily and on a very short notice. Do not contact us again. Regards Phil Munglers What is this fresh nonsense? Ms Bola I DEMAND an explanation for this twaddle. What do you mean you must abandon this transaction? Who says so? You cannot just jump-ship in mid modalities, this is an agreement. Justify this latest crap at once. Phil Mikhail Stroganov MRS EBOLA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???_EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANT!!! - S Mrs Bola My dear, Thanks for the information. First thing on wednesday morning, i will submit your information to our cooperate affairs commission here for onward registration of your company as a sub contractor that did the contract some years back. Note that as soon as the registration certificate is out, we will use it to secure an approval from the ministry of finance for onward release of the fund to any of your account overseas. Please, note that i have done my homework here very well so as soon as the approval is out on your favour, the management will invite you to come down for the final signings , but if you cannot be able to fly down here, then i will use my position to lift the fund to Amsterdam(Holland), where you can be able to fly down for the final signings/collection of the payment. Below is the partnership agreement , so you should go through it , sign and send back to me for indorsement. God bless, Madam Bola PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT. I, Madam Bola Adibayo of BP:224 Atakpame , Lome Togo, Hereafter referred to as owner ,and Mr .............of.............referred to as partner(Receiver), which _expression shall, where the context so admits, include his being representative or assignee on the one part, witness as follows: (A)That the subject matter of this agreement is the recovery of contract fund(USD49M) in account number: 14-25520044/Ecob, deposited with Eco bank, Lome Togo. (B)That both parties have agreed under the condition listed below to the sharing of the fund upon receipt in the account nominated by my partner (Mr .........................) (1) That USD2.5M will be for my partner(receiving party, 10% for incidental expanses while the rest money will be for me(Owner) and my partner. (C)That the issuing party shall extend part of his share of the money into gainful business in any country of his choice with a high degree of anonymity. D)That any expenses incurred by both parties in the process of securing the approval, remittance and the receipt of the fund in the account of the partner Mr ........................., shall be deducted from the 10% set aside for incidental expenses before sharing the proceeds. E)That the partner has promised and agreed not to hide any information away from the owner, party, before and after the receipt of the fund in his bank account. F)That this agreement shall be valid upon mutual signature and until the above referred conditions have been fulfilled respectively and legally. G)That the receiving party (Mr.Phillip Bakamusha) is helping the issuing party (MRS ROSE GUEI) to receive USD49M into an account devised and established for the safekeeping for the issuing party for the purposes of investment. This agreement is governed by the law of Republic of Togo, and that the receiving party promised to protect the interest of the issuing party. As witnesses the hands and seals of the partners firstly above written. The agreement will become effective the date of the signing by both parties. Mrs Rose Guei(Owner). Signed..................Date................ Witness:................... Sign:....................Date................. Partner: Phillip Bakamusha . Sign :................Date:............. Witness.................. Date................. Phil Munglers What are you on about?? You told me you didn't want to continue with this! Make your mind up please What - I reapeat - WHAT is going on?? Reply immediately! Phil Mikhail Stroganov MAKE UP YOUR MIND WOMAN FOR GODS SAKE_AT ONCE_DO YOU HEAR - S Phil Munglers Dear sir, Pls i have no time pls fill the Agrement form which i send to you Immeadtely Thanks, Mrs.Bola Phil Munglers April 11 Ms Bollax I sign nothing without it being examined by my lawyer. Only a fool would do so. Mikhail, please scrunize the "agreement form" as was included in my last reply to Ms Bollax. Let me know if it's above board and soforth. Meantime, I await Ms Bollax's explanation regarding her email trying to close this deal down. Good day to you both. Phil
Phil:
Mikhail
I have decided to complete Ms Bollax's form and return
it to her. Thank you for casting your eye over it. I
think it may be wise to raise a couple of legal issues
ourselves for her to agree to - do you think it would
be at all possible to draw upon the contract-writing
excellence of Mr Michael Barrymore? I hear he is
awight at that sort of thing.
Remain blessed, Phil Mikhail Stroganov : AN EXCELLENT IDEA_MICHAEL HAS BEEN BUSY WITH BRANT WOODROW'S GANG BUT HE IS ALWAYS ON CALL FOR LADY AGATHA THOUGH I KNOW HE IS ON HOLIDAY FOR A FEW DAYS WHICH WILL SUIT OUR DELAYING TACTICS PERFECTLY_MICHAEL_WHEN YOU GET THIS PLEASE CAN YOU ASSIST??_LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO MEET AT VLADIMIR'S TO DISCUSS_KEEP THE CUSTARD BOILING MAN_WE MIGHT HAVE A HALF-DECENT MUGU FOR A CHANGE - - S Mikhail Stroganov : PHIL THIS RATHER SIMPLE FORM IS ALL VERY WELL_BUT WE HAVE NOT RECIEVED AN IOTA OF IDENTITY FROM EITHER MRS EBOLA OR ANY DETAILS REGARDING THIS CLAIM_I SUGGEST WE PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION_YOU KNOW WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE LIKE - S Mrs Bola Dear i can't understand you pls if you realy want to do this deal with me pls sign it and reaton it to me so i will take it to my lowyer immedately Thanks, Mikhail Stroganov MRS EBOLA YOUR RAILROADING IS FAST BECOMING IRRITATING ESPECIALLY AS THE DITHERING AND DILLY-DALLYING CAME FROM YOUR END_THIS IS AN INTERNATIONAL TRANSACTION WORTH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS NOT SOME VILLAGE GOAT MARKET BARTER_GET ME SOME MORE DETAILS OF THIS DESPERATE DEAL THIS INSTANT AND WE CAN THEN TALK_OTHERWISE YOU CAN GET LOST AND MR MUNGLERS WILL INVEST HIS CASH ELSEWHERE_DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? S
Phil:
Mikhail
Thank you for examining this thing that Ms Bollax sent to me. I have filled it in and it is attached to this email for her perusal. Phil Munglers Ms Bollax, I'm not sure what most of this agreement meant, but that is what you get with legal guff, is it not? Note, I may have my own agreement for you to sign. Just a formality, nothing to worry about. What expenses are you expecting to encounter by the way? I notice you have set aside 10% of the 49million for such a thing. What the hell are we going to need nearly 5million dollars for? How can we possibly run up such an outrageous list of expenses? If I manage to get my agreement to you, after you have completed and returned it, I will send you a gift of consumer garbage. I am Japanese, brilliant, and rich after all. Have a think about what you may like, a tub of fish ice cream perhaps, some schoolgirl panties, a metal gear (or any other kind of gear/ frame/ mech), or maybe just a simple laptop or phone or something equally boring. Hai!! Phil I forgot the goddamn form. See attached. (with his corrections): PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT. I, MadamBola Adibayoof BP:224 Atakpame , Lome Togo, Hereafter referred to as owner ,and Mr ..MUNGLERS...........of...JAPAN..........referred to as partner(Receiver), which __expression shall, where the context so admits, include his being representative or assignee on the one part, witness as follows: (A)That the subject matter of this agreement is the recovery of contract fund(USD49M) in account number: 14-25520044/Ecob, deposited with Eco bank, Lome Togo. (B)That both parties have agreed under the condition listed below to the sharing of the fund upon receipt in the account nominated by my partner (Mr ..MUNGLERS......) (1) That USD2.5M will be for my partner(receiving party, 10% for incidental expanses while the rest money will be for me(Owner) and my partner. (C)That the issuing party shall extend part of his share of the money into gainful business in any country of his choice with a high degree of anonymity. D)That any expenses incurred by both parties in the process of securing the approval, remittance and the receipt of the fund in the account of the partner Mr ...MUNGLERS for gods sake.., shall be deducted from the 10% set aside for incidental expenses before sharing the proceeds. E)That the partner has promised and agreed not to hide any information away from the owner, party, before and after the receipt of the fund in his bank account. F)That this agreement shall be valid upon mutual signature and until the above referred conditions have been fulfilled respectively and legally. G)That the receiving party (Mr.Phillip MUNGLERS!!) is helping the issuing party (MRS ROSE GUEI) to receive USD49M into an account devised and established for the safekeeping for the issuing party for the purposes of investment. This agreement is governed by the law of Republic of Togo, and that the receiving party promised to protect the interest of the issuing party. As witnesses the hands and seals of the partners firstly above written. The agreement will become effective the date of the signing by both parties. Mrs Rose Guei(Owner). Signed..................Date................ Witness:................... Sign:....................Date................. Partner:Phillip MUNGLERS!! .Sign :.Phil....Date:..04/11/2006. Witness..I DO.... Date..04/11/2006... Mrs Bola Dear Munglers Thanks very much,i hard all you said pls i will like to have front page of your international pastport,and all so i will like to have your account information, Thanks, Mrs.bola Phil Munglers April 12 Dear BOLA I'm afraid I do not have a passport. I will have to send you my drivers license instead. But first, as Mikhail has suggested, I will need some proof from yourself about the claim. Please send me whatever documents you have relating to this. Failing that, a decent picture of yourself with your car. The picture must be good quality. Have you had a thought about what gift you would like from me? Soon, hopefully, I will have my own contract for you to sign. Reply immediately. Phil Mrs Bola Date: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 My Dear Phil Munglers. You know the reason why i have not really specify things to you all this while was because i have been praying to God to reveal to me if i am communicating with the right person i can in-trust this fund in his care and custody, My Phil I don't know how you may be looking at the whole thing, it has not been easy for me, indeed this is an opportunity but so confidential that i must succeed the transfer only with a foreigner, You can bear with me how possible it can be to in-trust this huge amount of money to some one you don't know neither have i got any communication with you before apart from this. But i want to let you know that by my prayers, I am convinced to go ahead and trust you in this transaction and to let you know every thing about the fund and where it is kept as now and the process of transferring it to your care, after that, then i have to come over to your Country. When this money was mapped out for payment from Our department in the ministry, And the Construction Company has left the Country I packed this money in a metallic iron box and cover it with a little quantity of unrefined gold dust and deposited it in a Security Company here as unrefined gold dust on-transfer, as the dealers usually deposit it ontrasnfer to abroad for refined. And it has been there since 2003 when it was deposited and we have been seeking on how to get a honest foreigner we can in-trust the transfer to his custody. The attachment files are My personal picture and The deposit Certificate of the fund. Now i will like us to go into the real business, Bellow is an application of claim and transfer which you have to fill correctly and send it to the Security Company through fax or e-mail address of the Security company immediately please so that they will commence the process of the transfer immediately. Best regards as i expect your urgent reply please. Mrs Bola. please for your information, I deposited it in this name Mr Mark Johnson, So please use the name in comunicating with the Security company, but fill in the application form your addresses as what matters is the neccessary ducuments of the deposit which all is intact with me in-case they demand. THIS IS THE APPLICATION FORM YOU HAVE TO FILL AND SEND TO THE SECURITY COMPANY. ATTN/ MR. STANLEY WILLIAMS ( DIRECTOR OF OPERATION) STALLION SECURITY / FINANCE COMPANY B.P 33, LOME TOGO. FAX: (228) 250 - 0447,TELEPHONE: +228-928-2923 EMAIL; stallion_sfctwa@yahoo.com APPLICATION FOR CLAIM AND TRANSFER OF CONSIGNMENT CODE NUMBER. / A7805201368. I MR, MARK JOHNSON WISH TO INFORM THE MANAGEMENT OF STALLION FINANCE / SECURITY COMPANY, THAT I WILL LIKE THE MANAGEMENT OF STALLION FINANCE / SECURITY COMPANY TO RELEASE AND TRANSFER MY DEPOSITED CONSIGNMENT ON-TRANSFER, OF TWO METALLIC IRON BOXES CONTAINING UNREFINED GOLD DUST . NAME:..MARK JOHNSON. ADDRESS: ...................... EMAIL:.... RESIDENCIAL ADDRESS........................................................ PHONE NUM:................................ FAX NUMB......................... PLEASE DO ACCEPT MY LATE APPLICATION AS THIS WAS DUE TO SOME BUSINESS LOGISTICS PROBLEM THAT OCCURED AFTER MY BUSINESS TRIP TO AFRICA IN 2003. PLEASE TREAT AS A MATTER OF URGENT THANKS, "Mrs Bola" includes a few items: - a photo of a woman, dressed up, sitting on a wicker chair. This may be a personal pic the Lad stole and we leave it out. - a really lame "certificate" - here it is: LAME "CERTIFICATE"THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT ON THIS DAY 20TH OF APRIL 2003 MR MARK JOHNSON MADE A DEPOSIT WITH STALLION FINANCE / SECURITY COMPANY LOME_TOGO AS STATED BELOW.DEPOSITOR FULL NAME MR MARK JOHNSON . . CONSIGNMENT CODE: A7805201368 . . CONTACT ADDRESS:. NO:33 NOTRE DAM DES APPOTRE BOULVARD. OCCUPATION: BUSINESS . .. NATURE OF DEPOSIT:TWO METALIC IRON BOXES ON TRANSFER . CONTENT :UN-REFINED GOLD DUST . TOTAL WEIGHT OF CONSIGNMENT:150 KILOGRAM . . DATE OF DEPOSIT: 20TH APRIL 2003 . . TIME OF DEPOSIT : 10 HOURS G.M.T . STANLEY WILLIAMS. MR MARK JOHNSON. Director of operation. Depositor. Sign................ Sign.. M.JOHNSON SOCIETE ANONYME AU CAPITAL SOCIAL DE 1.250 MILLIONS DE FCFA RUE 154 AVENUE DU COMMERCE BP: 3302 LOME - TOGO E-MAI lTEL: 228 928-2923 / FAX: 228 250-04 47 Stallion-securities-ssc@safe-mail.net stallion_sfctwa@yahoomail.com7 EMBED Word.Picture.8 It seems that Ms Bollax has completely lost the script. Phil Munglers April 12 Ms Bollax You have confused me. You said that you had $49Million that was left over when some Finnish/ German company had overestimated on their budget, then you had me fill in some wanky form to reclaim it for you. Now you have sent me ANOTHER form to fill in, demanding the release of gold dust!? What is this nonsense? And what is this picture of you? I said take the picture with your CAR, not sitting on a wicker basket. And you still haven't told me what gift you want from Japan! Until you answer my questions and explain this guff, then I will not entertain your form-filling obsession for one more minute. Phil Mikhail Stroganov MRS EBOLA I SUGGEST YOU PUT THE BOTTLE OF MOONSHINE ASIDE AND ACTUALLY READ MR. MUNGLERS' EMAIL_IF IT IS TOO COMPLICATED FOR YOU ASK ONE OF YOUR VILLAGE ELDERS TO HELP BUT FOR GODS SAKE STOP THIS RIDICULOUS RAMBLING - S Phil Munglers Indeed so. Mrs Bollax, please gather the pieces of your brain together and try to remember which modalities we are working on here. Phil Munglers Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 Ms Bola, when I say respond IMMEDIATELY I mean exactly that. If you are having trouble with the meaning of this I suggest you buy a dictionary. Reply NOW god damn it, or you can say "Sayanora" to me, Mikhail and the money. Mrs Bollocks I have had enough Your inabilty to stick with modalities and your random and unpredictable changes of heart have left me with no doubt that you are an idiot. Never darken my mailbox again with your moronic and contradictory schems you goat fulking succubus. I hope you die screaming. Tonight. Fulk off, asshole. Phil
Mikhail Stroganov :
PHIL
ONCE AGAIN WE HAVE BEEN LET DOWN BY A SUBSTANDARD MUGU_LET US HOPE FOR A BETTER STANDARD OF SCUMBAG NEXT TIME - S Mrs Bola My Dearest Phil Munglers , Your mail to me is not ok why should you talk to me that way???, I have too much respect for you and for this transfer ok. You should go ahead and contact this bank lawyer Barrister Radebe John on this mail RADEBEJOHNCHAMBERS@JUSTICE.COM or phone number 002289958911 ask him to help you in getting all the necessary legal documents in your favour as the Real and true owner of this said amount ok. Listen carefully, we have to take our time for a smooth transfer ok without any problem after we receive this money ok, I hope you understand ???. Urgently call your lawyer his name is barrister Radebe John ok . I will be expecting your mail and details soonest. Best Regards Mrs Bola. Phil Munglers Ms Bola It is unfortunate that your husband brother is sick but I cannot help that. I asked you several questions relating to this transaction which you have STILL ignored. Giving me the details of your barrister is all well and good but it does not tell me what I want to know. Reply immediately please Phil Mikhail Stroganov STOP THIS WHINING WOMAN AND GET ON WITH IT FOR GODS SAKE_THIS IS NOT A VILLAGE GOAT MARKET - S Phil Munglers I apologize for my absence. That damn idiot Takumi crashed my 350Z and ended up in hospital. This meant I had to test drive my own goddamn cars this weekend and was incommunicado. I haven't even had time to fire him yet, but that may not be so easy as he is a partner in my company. If I had an gram more ruthlessness in me I would have him chopped up in his bed for wrecking my favorite car. Now then. Where are we up to? Mikhail - has Ms Bollocks been in contact? Or the lawyer? Please let me know. Phil |