While we snooze in our peaceful beds, the brave agents of The Foreign Office stand ready at the keyboard, to waste the time of lowlife scammers.

Dr. Christian Chinedu - Lad du jour
Marmite Luny-Binns - Reservations Officer, The Court of St James Hotel, Broadmoor
(that's his cover story - in fact he is a senior agent of The Foreign Office and the kindly ward of Princess Candice)

Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2007
From: mirianhman3@yahoo.com
To: chrischinedu@bk.ru

Dear Sir/Madam,

I want to make a reservation,for me and my family from 16th of january to 21th of january 2008. If available kindly,calculate and get back to me the total cost for 3 double rooms including breakfast and tax.

Here are our names:
1.Dr.Christian Chinedu .......,Father
2.Prof.Jane Chinedu........Wife
3.Johnson Chinedu..........Son
4.Sandra Chinedu............Daughter
5.Candy Chinedu............Daughter
6.Jerry jnr Chinedu..........Son

Awaiting your response.
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Phone:+447045754186 <--- UK

[This is a scam-o-gram of subgenre RESERVATIONS.
Basic m.o. -- request a professional service or reservation; pay with a bad check made out in too high an amount, demand the difference back in the form of a money order; or cancel the reservation, and ask for a refund. But you knew all that.]

Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan. 1

Dear Mr Chinedu

I am pleased to confirm that the Bernard Manning Rooms are suddenly available during this period through a late cancellation, and I so have made a provisional reservation for you and your family. Our house manager, Mr Eric Morcambe will be on hand to smooth your arrival.

How do you wish to pay the deposit to secure your reservation.

Please note that we do not accept Western Union transfer and that the minimum reservation period for such a prestigious accomodation is one week.

Kind regards

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Reservations Officer
The Court of St James Hotel
London FU2 GIT
(+44) (0)20 7930 4832
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2008

Happy new Year Marmite,
Please do let me know the cost for the stipulated period.
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 6

Dear Mr Chinedu

The cost for a double room is 450 pounds a night.

Please advise if you have any special dietary requirements or other tribal peculiars so that the kitchens have a chance to stock up on cous cous, harricot beans, glubslyme and the like.

Kind regards


Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Reservations Officer
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2008

Dear Marmite,

I want to reserve the 2 rooms suite for my family. I want to make payment for 5 nite(4500 pounds).

At this point I believe this transaction is sealed between you and I that as soon as I send the card detail (information), you will take the following steps.

1. Confirm the part payment amount of (8000 pounds) in your account.
2. Deduct your service charges which is (4500 pounds) for the apartment.
3. Send (3500 pounds) via Swift bank transfer to the Travel Agent whose information I will forward to you once this is confirmed.
4. Prepare the entire necessary document (Invoice and receipts) for the purposes of record keeping.

So, confirm your commitment in this message and get back to me with a confirmatory message providing me with


For easy contact and our office record as well, that you will or will not take the above steps so as to avert delays that might be unfavorable to my family.

I will be excepting your mail of confirmation so that I will send the credit card detail to you and all the required information.

Kind Regards,
Chris Chinedu
Phone: 009-234-803-0633661 <-- Nigeria
Office Hour 8am-6pm GMT
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 9

Dear Mr Chinedu

Many thanks for the kind reservation.

You may take my contact details as below:

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Reservations Officer
The Court of St James Hotel
London FU2 GIT
(+44) (0)20 7930 4832

The Bernard Manning Rooms are, as I am sure you know, state apartments with a good area attached for outside entertaining, civic and tribal events and so on. Because of the special nature of the Rooms, the standard terms and conditions of reservation follow ,which I now bring to your attention.

*** Please read them carefully, print out and sign as part of the contract of reservation. It will be best if you scan and attach the completed document to an email with your initial deposit payment. ***

Please note that the standard deposit is 20% of the rental charge which should be made before your arrival. In addition there is a refundable 500 hundred pounds surety against damage.


Before you commit to reserve the Bernard Manning Rooms & Gardens, please familiarise yourself with the Rules of Hire. Indigent Reservees hiring the Rooms, their extended families, and servants etc are required to trictly adhere to these rules. A Duty Manager will be present during your stay to supervise the premises and to ensure that these rules are upheld. Should special native meals be required, Indigent Reservees can only choose a caterer on our endorsed list and must use Claremont Marquees if they need a marquee, awning or electric lighting for an event such as a wedding or initiation ceremony

Essential rules for Extended Family members, servants & etc
- Such staff/wives etc as exist with your party must liaise with the Head of Marketing on their proposed plans for any event so that we can make appropriate Health and Safety checks.
- Indigent Reservees are required to have a list of personnel on site for H & S reasons.
- Indigent Reservees are required to be familiar with Fire Evacuation rules.
- The Duty Manager will act as Evacuation Marshall for the Garden but the Indigent Reservees are responsible for the safety of their staff.
- Indigent Reservees are advised that the botanical garden houses a collection of rare and historic plants. (We will make a charge of between 25 and 50 per plant damaged). Please do not smoke the ganja.
- All equipment must be cleared from the site before 22.00 on the day of the event and/or after 08.00 the following day. Clearance times must be agreed with the Head of Marketing.

Access and parking
- All deliveries must be coordinated with the Head of Marketing and agreed.
- With prior permission of no less than one week, removal of ritual or tribal equipment can take place from the Embankment Gate before 22.00.
- Catering and other deliveries are made via the West Gate on Royal Hospital Road. (The green door 30 yards west along Royal Hospital Road from the office entrance, by the bus stop).
- No deliveries can come through The Benny Hill Gate.
- There is no parking available at the Garden unless previously agreed with the Head of Marketing.
- Please note that Swan Walk is a one way street running from south to north, accessible from Chelsea Embankment or Dilke Street but not Royal Hospital Road.
- Pay and display parking is available in Battersea Park. The nearest NCP car park, open 24 hours, is available at Semley Place, near Victoria station, 1/3 mile from the Garden.

Disabled access
- There is a disabled parking bay outside the door to 66 Royal Hospital Road and there is easy access via the foyer into the Garden.
- Please inform Head of Marketing if a wheelchair is required, which should be returned to the foyer after use.
- Please note our paths are gravel and grass.
- There is a disabled toilet in the foyer.
- The Larry Grayson Annex is unfortunately accessible only by swinging doors.

Cloakroom facilities
- Gents, ladies and disabled toilet facilities are off the main foyer.
- There are two unisex toilets on the ground and upper floor of the main building.
- The Indigent Reservees must provide coat rails if required. The foyer is the best area in which to set up a cloakroom.
- The Kiosk at the Swan Walk Gate is for the use of the Garden only unless the Hirer has written permission from the Head of Marketing.

Room rules for Indigent Reservees in the case of entertaining/tribal dances & etc
- The floors must be cleaned after the event by the hirer or caterer. Any spills made by native cooking must be removed using the proprietary carpet cleaner provided in the kitchen.
- If the Rooms are being used for food preparation, druggets must be used to cover the floor.
- All furniture must be returned to original positions in both rooms.
- Food and drink is only allowed in the Room with prior consent.
- Nothing is to be attached to the walls.
- The number of people in the Rooms at any one time is limited to 120.

- The kitchen can be used for reheating and assembling food in ovens or microwaves brought in especially by caterers, but not cooking or frying under any circumstance. Electric rings are not allowed for reheating purposes. Large cooking pots must not be used over campfires, inside or out.
- The hirer are expected to leave the kitchen in the same condition in which it is found.
- The facility fee does not include cutlery, crockery, table linen, food or drink, or the cost of staff labour to service the function.
- All refuse must be taken off site before 22:00, or after 08:00 the following morning. If collected the following morning, please arrange access in conjunction with the Head of Marketing.
- It is occasionally possible for a skip to be brought through the Embankment Gate to dispose of rubbish, however this must be arranged in writing with the Head of Marketing.
- Sinks must be left clean and free running.
- Tea and coffee grounds, coconut husks, animal parts & etc must not be put down the kitchen sink.
- Nothing must be thrown down the drains outside the kitchen or Cactus House.
- Floors must be left clean and all bins must be emptied
- The kitchen windows cannot be used for deliveries or for any other purpose.
- Ice must be disposed of in the drains and not on the flower beds.

Garden lighting
- Garden lighting must be discussed and agreed with the Head of Marketing and recorded on the Booking Form.
- Oil flares, burning torches of animal fat and wax candles in drip-proof containers are allowed on the main paths only but not in the flowerbeds or in the marquee, on the Kiosk or in any of the buildings.
- Electric spotlights are provided along the building and around the statue of Sloane.
- The Garden is not suitable for high voltage lighting.
- Further electric lighting can only be arranged with our approved lighting supplier.
- All lighting provided by hirer or contractors must be removed before 22:00, or after 08:00 the following morning. If removed the following morning, please arrange access in conjunction with the Head of Marketing.
- Lighting contractors have responsibility for the Heath and Safety of their staff.

Music and noise
- All musical arrangements must be discussed and agreed with the Head of Marketing and recorded on the Booking Form prior to the event.
- The Garden is ideal for classical music, string quartets and other soft instruments, but not for drumming, either on shields (animal hide covered or not), or regular tree trunk material.
- Rock, pop, DJs and karaoke, Ju Ju chants & etc are not allowed.
- Jazz bands are not usually allowed.
- The showing of films and performance of dance or drama are allowed, at the discretion of the Head of Marketing.
- Noise levels are monitored by the Duty Manager whose decision is final.
- Any music or other amplified sound in the Garden must finish at the time agreed on the Booking Form. The latest time that music or other amplified sound can possibly finish is 22:00.
- No speakers are allowed outside of any of the Garden's permanent or temporary structures.
- Guests and extended family not resident are requested to leave the premises quietly, by 22:30 at the latest (or 23.30 if an event extension has been agreed, at an additional cost of 1,000).
- Local residents have the mobile number of the Duty Manager if noise from the event becomes a nuisance and if noise levels are not rectified they will ask the local Noise and Nuisance Inspectors to close the event.

- There are no vases or pedestals available at the Garden but hirers can decorate the reception room with flowers.
- Indigent Reservees must not use adhesive tape, staples or nails on the walls or curtains under any circumstances.
- No rice, paper confetti or sparklers are allowed in the Garden or Reception rooms.

- If the Fire Alarm should go off, all Indigent Reservees must congregate in the designated 'muster area'.
- The Duty Manager will act as Evacuation Marshall and will be responsible for making sure the Chief Fire Officer is kept informed.
- Evacuation routes and procedures will have been given to the caterer who is responsible for their staff.
- The hirer must ensure there are enough responsible adults dedicated to the care of children present at any event.
- All young persons must be supervised at all times, there are poisonous plants in the Garden and glasshouses, as well as two deep ponds.
- Sharp implements and hunting regalia must be closely supervised at all times.

and finally..
- Hirers must provide ashtrays or large receptacles for people who smoke in the Garden, and dispose of the contents.
- No smoking, naked flames or candles are allowed in the building, marquee or awning.
- All broken glassware or crockery must be removed from the lawns and paths.
- All benches, tables and chairs must be returned to their original position.
- The Garden occasionally holds exhibitions in the Garden or in the Lecture Room. The Head of Marketing can supply more details.
- Permission must be given by the Head of Marketing to move items such as the Sloane Exhibition Carts, and they must be returned to their original position after the event by the hirer.
- Photographs are not always representative of how the Garden may look on the day of your Event. The Head of Marketing can update you on any new projects planned.

Having read the standard terms and conditions for Indigent Reservees and agree to abide and follow with same.
............................................ (signed)

............................................. (date)

............................................. (contact details)

Further information
For more details restrictions and obligations please contact our Hire Officer Mr Godfrey Bovril.

Please supply us with your travel arrangements and payment to secure this reservation as soon as possible, as well as an idea of any special dietary requirements as previously outlined.

We look forward to welcoming you and giving you the stay you deserve.

Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2008

Explain what you mean by this mail,
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 11

Dear Mr Chindeu

If you wish your reservation of the Bernard Manning Rooms to be accepted, it is a formal condition of the reservation process that you sign and return the terms and conditions to which all indigent reservees are subject as standard procedure of room allocation.

Kind print out the requisite part of my last message copied below, sign and date it and then return it as an attachment. This will enable to process your accomodation requests and move on to the payment of deposit & etc.

Kindly hurry along my good sir, I have had another enquiry from the Duchess of Tesco for her and her retinue only last evening, and must now need to oblige her if you are unable to proceed for what ever reason. I would appreciate a prompt decision as I hate to be spread too thinly.


Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Regis Court Chamberlain
The Court of St James
London FU2 GIT
(+44) (0)20 7930 4832
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2008

Dear Marmite,
Below is the information you requested, do accept my signature after which i believe it will be payment if my booked days are still available.

....CHRISTIAN CHINEDU.......... (signed).........CHRISNEDUH.................
........10/01/2008. (date)

......PLAZA DE ESPANO 1 4D MADRID SPAIN ............... (contact details)

Hope to read from you soonest.

Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 12

Mr Chinadu

I'm afraid this is really not sufficient to fulfil the standard terms of booking and reservations.
Any fellow might have access to your email and make this reply in your name.
Kind print out the relevant agreement, sign as a document, scan and return by attachment or courier.
Sorry to be such a stickler for such detail, but we are not confirming a cheap night's bed and breakfast deal out in the Festac Town Hilton you know.

I shall hold the room open for you for another couple of days and then really must let it go to the Duchess of Tesco.

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 15

Mr Chinedud

Do you wish to retain this reservation or not? I cannot delay making a confirmed booking with another party if you do not immediately send all that is required. This is a shame as we have already put the straw and bowls down in the rooms, anticipating your requirements. This sort of thing just leads me to being spread too thinly I am afraid.

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2008

Dear Sir,
Thanks for your email, i have your number now, i will call you.
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 16

Mr Chinadu

I am waiting for your call. Ask either for myself, or my assistant Ivor Hugh Janus.
But to ensure the reservation is confirmed we do need that document signed & returned, kindly get along with it sir.
Also, how do you wish to make the payment of deposit?

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2008

Dear Marmite,
Thanks for your email, I tried to contact you via phone, but it wasn't connecting, after telling me that the call is being recorded, it will disconnect.

I have tried to download it and sign but it is not easy, I will try and try until i get it, i also suggest that you sent it in another form.
With regards to the reservation date, I wrote you a mail last two weeks saying that my company has postponed by date to 16th to 21st March 2008.

Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan 18

Dear Mr Chinadud

Many thanks for the update, old chap, as it makes things considerably easier this end. The Duchess of Tesco is particular about her accomodation arrangements and I was uncomfortable having to inconvenience her because of some booking by doubtful third world johnnies like yourselves.

As you suggest, I have attached the reservation form as a word document.

Kindly fill it out and return with some formal identification. Passport or driving licence are the best.

We also need notification as to how you will pay the deposit, as previously advised.

You may read more about our hotel at:

I am sorry that you have been unable to reach me through the regular number which has been subject to some problems of late due to refurbishment of the Billy Bunter Banqueting Rooms. Unfortunately bookings can only be made via this number at the exclusive off site reservations unit or email to me direct or fax, this is due to the exclusive nature of the apartments as I am sure you will understand. I am sure that once you begin your stay here you will appeciate the quality of our service which is without par.

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Dr. Christian Chinedu
Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2008

I believe the credit card Authorizaiton i obtained from my Bank today will help alot. Below is another card detail for the payment.you are to charge to charge the sum of USD 3000.00 from each of the card details provided below.

Deduct your service charge and pay $2000 to my travel agent who's details i will provide in my next mail for his service charge to enable him provide you my travel detials. this will give total of USD 6000.00.

Name as it appears on the card: CHRISTIAN CHINEDU
Card Type : Visa
Credit Card Number : 4828532864217017
Card Verification Code: 813
Expiry Date: 06 /2010

Name as it appears on the card: CHRISTIAN CHINEDU
Card Type : Visa
Credit Card Number : 4828532864217041
Card Verification Code: 813
Expiry Date: 06 /2010

I have also attached my passport, and two authorization letters of payment.
After Confirm the part payment amount of (USD6000) in your account, deduct your service charges for the apartment, Send the $2000 to the Travel Agent and prepare the entire necessary document (Invoice and receipts) for the purposes of record keeping.
Awaiting your response on this payment made.
Kind Regards,
Chris Chinedu
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan. 27

Mr Chinedung

My apologies for the delay. I have been away for a few days at a royal gala event at Smegaroon which involved a necessary absence, and my staff were awaiting my return before processing this booking.

Thank you for the card information. Please supply details of the address to which the card statement is sent so that we can proceed further.

Also I do need that signed terms and conditions form completed as requested, to confirm matters as already requested. Do hurry along with this old chap, with no more dilly dally too; we have others waiting you know!

Sir Marmite
Reservations Officer
Marmite Luny-Binns
Jan. 27

Dear Mr Chinedu

As a formality we regularly run security checks on our first time customers and the following correspondence has lately come back to me from my staff. Please act as a matter of urgency to reassure me that this disreputable personage is not one and the same as yourself.

We run a respectable establishment here at Broadmoor and would not welcome any stain on our doorstep.

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC

From: Tushie mashuganah
Sent: 24 January 2008

Dear Sir Marmite,

With regard to your recent enquiry about Dr Chris Chinadu, I regret to inform you that a person of this name was arraigned in the Criminal Court in Enugu on November 28th, 2007 charged with indecent assault on two fourteen year old boys. He pleaded guilty and was fined 20,000 naira.

Yours sincerely,

Head of Security
Eurohotels Reservations Inc
PO Box 666

[More to come?]