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Dmitri Daydenko October 24 hi Dear Sir/Madam, I am Mr Dmitri Daydenko. a personal treasurer to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies:Chairman CEO:YUKOS OIL (Russian Most Largest Oil Company)Chairman CEO:Menatep SBP Bank (A well reputable financial institution with its branches all over the world) SOURCE OF FUNDS: I have a profiling amount in an excess of US$100.5M, which I seek your partnership in accommodating for me. You will be rewarded with 4% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you be my partner on this? INTRODUCTION OF MY SELF As a personal consultant to him, authority was handed over to me in transfer of money of an American oil merchant for his last oil deal with my boss Mikhail Khodorkovsky. Already the funds have left the shore of Russia to a European private bank where the final crediting is expected to be carried out. While I was on the process, My Boss got arrested for his involvement in politics by financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces,led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky) which poses treat to President Vladimir Putin second tenure as Russian president. You can catch more of the story on this website: <http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article-3-56-1409.jspor> <http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html> YOUR ROLE: All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above quoted sumand I will re-profile the funds with your name, which will enable the European bank transfer the sum to you. I have decided to use this sum to relocate to American continent and never to be connected to any of Mikhail Khodorkovsky conglomerates. The transaction has to be concluded before Mikhail Khodorkovsky is out from jail. As soon as I confirm your readiness to conclude the transaction with me, I will provide you with the details.If interested,kindly reply to my email address below:(dmitri_daydenko@yahoo.com) Thank you very much as i await your kind responses. Best Regards, Dmitri Daydenko(Mr) [A chip off the old Slav-o-Rama block.] R. P. Ludwig October 27 OK Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Your offer interests me. What do I have to do, and how much time will we have to do it? Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko October 30 Details Dear Ludwig. Sorry that i have not responded to your mail as early as i am supposed to i have been busy at work. Please i will like to know more about you like your nationality, age, contact and your direct phone number so i can call you and if possible your fax, incase i need to send any documents to you. I will like to assure you that this transaction is legal and confidential and i will like you to treat it as such, all other information will be communicated to you as soon as i get your information. Thanks. Dmitri. [We really wondered what "Dmitri" would do if he got a reply in Russian, but no matter.] R. P. Ludwig October 30 Here Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry that you're being overworked; Khordokovsky doesn't seem like a very nice guy. I'm still up for helping him out with his money, though. Here is the information you requested: Name: Reuben Pinchot Ludwig Age: 22 Gender: Male Orientation: Straight Height: 5'10 Weight: No more than 170 Dominant Hand: Right Phone Number: (877)-542-4825 Address: 201 Whattab Rd. Ninety-Six, SC 29666 Fax: None, sorry. If you need any additional information, feel free to ask me. I may not, however, be able to respond to e-mails as frequently as I'd like during the week, because that's when I work. I hope that won't cause any trouble. Write back soon! Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko October 30 how are you. Dear Ludwig. How is things over there, hope all is fine, in the course of this transaction your presence will be required here in London to clear the paper works with the security company holding the funds on behalf of my client as the beneficiary of the fund which will be transfered to any account of your choice at the end of this course. I will have to remind you that for every business to succeed it requires sacrifice from both parties, and i am counting on you to see this through and will ask you to treat this business as your personal business so that at the end of the day we will all be happy. Regards. Dmitri. R. P. Ludwig October 31 I Am Fine Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Thanks for writing back. Traveling to London shouldn't pose any problem, barring any drastic changes inmy workload. But it's not really a popular season to buy bathing suits, so I probably won't have much to do for the next few months. Still, please inform me ahead of time when I'll need to make the trip. Until then, I'm waiting for your next instructions. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 1 information Dear Ludwig. Nice to hear from you, i will like to assure you that i have made all arrangements for the transfer of this fund to you. I will like you to come over to london at least on 9-11-2005 [wednesday] to 12-11-2005 [saturday] so that we can onclude the process of transfering the funds to you. I will like to inform you that the paperwork for the transfer is currently in progress at the security company holding the fund, and thatyou will need to bring at least $10,000 to cover the fees for the transfer and to open an account in your name which the money will be transfered to.I will like to asure you that you will get your money back as soon as the fund is transfered to you, and your cut of the fund which is 30% of the total money. After which you will decide on the acount which you want the money anywhere in the world. Hope to hear from you soon . Dmitri. R. P. Ludwig November 1 Ahead Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Thanks for writing back. I'm glad that everything is going smoothly. Just out of curiousity, is there anything for me to do now, aside from booking my flight to London? I would think that you'd need to e-mail me documents or your passport or something. But I'm ready to book the flights, if that's the next step. Talk to you later. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 2 required... Dear Ludwig. There is nothing else that is required from you as of now apart from making sure that the processing fee is available [$10,000] and please i will need a copy of your dirvers license or your passport, for your identification when you get to london. Apart from those two issues nothing else is needed for now all documents will be made available to you when you get here. Go ahead and book the flight R. P. Ludwig November 2 Photo Dear Mr. Daydenkov: We don't have a scanner at my office (we've had to cut back because of the lack of business we've had for the last few years - blasted shark attacks!), so I can't send you a copy of my passport or driver's license. I can, however, show you a picture taken of Zeb Pike and me from our tenure in the army a couple years back. It's the attached file. I'll get to booking that plane tomorrow. I need to get some sleep now -work's causing me some serious stress. Hope Khordokosky isn't being too big of a jerk to you. Yours, R. P. Ludwig [The photo was just a picture of two guys in camouflage.] Dmitri Daydenko November 3 hello Dear Ludwig. How is work, hope fine everything is alrigth here. I will like to know if you have booked the fligth and if you have, when are you arriving here. Dmitri Daydenko November 4 whats happening? My dear friend. I have not heared from you for some time now, i will like you to send a more clearer picture in which to identify you the one there is not clear enough. And i am yet to ascertain the level of your seriousness towards this deal. I ask you once again have you booked your fligth yet? and when are you coming? I will like to know now. Dmitri. [How very un-Russian (or should we say un-Ukrainian) he still sounds. Every country has its scammers, we are certain, and Gogol reminds us, but the Slavic ones seem to use other modalities.] R. P. Ludwig November 4 Internet Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Hello again. I'm sorry for not responding to you quickly. Comcast-provided internet around here was down for most of yesterday; we have serious problems with woodpeckers and cable lines. I don't have anything against birds, mind you (I was elated when I heard about the Ivory-Bill's rediscovery earlier this year), but sometimes I wish that the Pileated Woodpecker lived farther west. Or farther north. Just not around here. They're beautiful, yes, but they drill through those cable lines like a thumbtack through a bulletin board (I made that one up myself - do you like it?). Anyway, because of that little problem, I couldn't book my plane tickets, either. I'll do that right after sending this e-mail to you. The second picture is attached; it's from my days as a stand-up comic down in Columbia. Hope everything is going well in Russia. Will I get to meet Mr. Khordokovsky personally? Yours, R. P. Ludwig [This time the picture was of Pee Wee Herman.] R. P. Ludwig November 5 Air Schedule Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Greetngs. I have chosen a potential flight. Tell me if everything's OK. American Airlines Flight 174 departing Raleigh-Durham at 6:40 P.M. on November 21st. Arriving in London at &;10 A.M. on Tuesday, Novermber 22nd. I'm staying in London until the 25th, just in case we have trouble getting this deal across. Again, tell me if this is auitable for you; I haven't booked the tickets yet, so I can still make changes if you need them. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 8 book the fligth...... Dear Ludwig. How is things over there, i will like you to know that everything is in good order here and i will like you to book the tickets for your flight the date is okay by me and i pray you keep to your words cause i have made all arrangement for your coming. And i am expecting your arrival.I will like to know when you book the flight .\ Dmitri. Dmitri Daydenko November 9 Whats happening. Dear Ludwig. I will like to know the situation of things over there and i will like to know if you have boooked the fligth yet, if not go ahead and do so we don't have time to lose.I will like us to wrap up this deal as soon as possible. R. P. Ludwig November 9 Booked and Ready Dear Mr. Daydenkov: How's it going, Ace? I booked the tickets without problem and should be coming down as expected. Sorry about not answering you. My internet wasn't down this time; I was just really busy with work. I'm having a tough time convincing those knuckleheads that an inflatable bathing suit is a terrible idea. Think about it: if it pops, you're left buck naked in the water, and nobody wants that. Do you know of any precedent for this? I mean, I know that they probably don't swim much in Russia, but I'm desperate for anything that'll stop this project from going forwards. It's a waste of time. Anyway, sorry for ranting a little. I'm perfectly sane. Hope to hear from you soon, Mr. Daydenkov. By the way, will I get to meet Mr. Khordokovsky when I come to London? I've been really excited about meeting a businessman of his stature. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 10 OKAY.... Dear Ludwig. Nice to hear that you have booked your fligth, i will expect your arrival as planned. Everything have been put in place for your coming, i will like you to set your sigth on how much you stand to gain at the end of this transaction and the benefits thereof. I appreciate it if you are in touch with me until your the date of your coming . Dmitri. R. P. Ludwig November 10 Touch Dear Mr. Daydenkov: OK, I have no problem just shooting the breeze with you until I come down. To start off, can you please answer my question: will I or will I not meet Mr. Khordokovsky when I come to London? That's something I've really been looking forward to. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 11 waiting your presence. Dear Ludwig. To see Khordokovky is not an issue that can be arrange [...since (a) he's doing time in Siberia and (b) "Dmitri" isn't Dmitri and there is no Dmitri and even if there were a Dmitri, he couldn't take you to visit K. in Siberia, but you knew that] but you have to understand that with things concerning my clients we have to keep things a little bit low profile for now until you come to london there is nothing that cannot be worked out here. Everything is possible if you believe. I wait for your coming. Dmitri. R. P. Ludwig November 11 Presents Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Sorry to hear that I won't meet Mr. Khordokovsky. But it's fine. I'll be satisfied with his e-mail address. Also, you mentioned that you are waiting for my presents. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't tell me what exactly you wanted. Getting presents will be no problem, I just need to know what I should get. I doubt that Kyle "The Great" Breyer (my boss, and, yes, he does make us call him Kyle The Great) would let me have some free bathing suits to give you and Mr. Khordokovsky (not like you'd need any living in Russia). So what should I get? I was thinking about a nice deck of cards, so we can entertain ourselves while waiting for this London bank to file all the paperwork. How does that sound to you? Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 14 Hello Dear Ludwig. I meant your presence not presents and i am expecting to see you as planned and will appreciate it if you are hear as planned for it will be hard to have another appointment with them and i will not like for this transaction to bring dragging longer than necessary. Thanks and have a nice day. Dmitri. R. P. Ludwig November 15 Stall Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Isn't my flight scheduled for the 20th? Or was it earlier, and I missed it? If it is for the 20th as I believe, there's no way that I'm delaying. You can count on it. And don't be ashamed to tell me that my present idea was bad. Heck, my family usually just asks for cash from me, because they hate the stuff I get them, too (my sister, for example, was complaining about how her office didn't have enough rubber bands; I bought her a box at Staples, and she muttered something under her breath and tossed them in some trash can). I'm used to it; trust me. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 18 your assurance is needed.. Dear Ludwig. How are you, i hope to see you in london as planned and i hope there has not been a change as planned on your own side. So i need your assurance that you will be here [Hmm, so he (or his oga) is in London. Got his own office? Or running it from the university where he's doing his business degree? Or hanging out in Starbucks? Which one?] R. P. Ludwig November 18 Trouble (Not Fun) Dear Mr. Daydenkov: It seems I've run into a bit of trouble over here. You may remember me expressing some concern over the "inflatable bathing suit" project that my company was so foolishly determined to start. Well, it's official: we are now moving ahead with said suit (creatively titled the "Inflate-A-Bathing Suit '05," despite the fact that there's no way, Jos, that there's gonna be another installment of this monstrosity). And we're definitely going to be hard-pressed to not only find a way to actually create this thing, but to market it and make it seem necessary. But, come on, Greg Floatie has had a stranglehold on the flotation industry since '77, and some crummy, quickly-put-together swimsuit isn't going to change that. But no, Kyle The Great knows what he's doing! After all, he has parents in the industry! This,I willadd, is a guy who makes his employees celebrate his half-birthday the way they would a regular one because "a half-birthday only comes once a year!" So anyway, Kyle The Great has informed me that I had better work ten hours on both Saturday and Sunday if I want to keep my job. I know I hate it, but there really aren't any openings in the swimsuit industry around here, especially around this time of year (mid-autumn). So it looks like I'm stuck for the time being. Never fear, though. I'll find a way out of it, and I'll get back to you when I find that way. One thing we cannot do, though, is push my arrival date any farther back; my schedule isn't going to get any lighter in the upcoming weeks. So I'll update you on the situation tomorrow. Don't worry; I'll come up with something. Yours, R. P. Ludwig R. P. Ludwig November 19 Plan Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Hello. I am currently writing this e-mail from my home computer. Yes, I know that I should be at work today, but I found a way around doing that. Last night, Zeb Pike (from the photo, remember?) and I stayed up until around 3:00 thinking of a way for me to avoid going to work. Around 2, we finally came up with a great idea: have Zeb go to work for me. Each of us is around 5'7 with a skinny build, so he could go to work pretending to be me. Of course, we look nothing like each other facially, so Zeb would go wearing a mask. Probably the only one who would inquire about it is Kyle The Great, and he just wants to seem concerned so his employees don't realize how big a jerk he is. When asked, Zeb can just mumble something under his breath about a rock-climbing accident (there are tons of rocks around here). Kyle The Great, thinking that his merely sticking around was enough to satisfy me, probably will walk away without asking for a more detailed answer. And, no, I guess Zeb wouldn't really know what to do (he's a college dropout), but there's nothing that anybody can do with the Inflate-A-Bathing Suit. So it looks like we found a way for me to make it to London. I'll arrive wearing my black nWo t-shirt, jeans, and probably sandals. Who will be picking me up? Yours, R. P. Ludwig R. P. Ludwig November 19 Found Dear Mr. Daydenkov: I have received word that Zeb was caught impersonating me. Kyle The Great sent me an e-mail explaining the situation and also told me that if I don't show up for work tomorrow, I'm fired. Well, you know what, I guess he's going to have to fire me. No more ridiculous demands to fufill! No more brilliant ideas ignored! No more moronicobjectives to complete! I'm going to be free, Mr. Daydenkov, and as my first free act, I'm catching that plane tomorrow. You can meet me at the airport, baby! And I'll be happier than I've ever been. I told you what I'll be wearing. Who will be picking me up, and what will that person/people be wearing? Get back to me if you can; I'll find you guys when I get there if I end up having to. Yours, R. P. Ludwig R. P. Ludwig November 20 Off Dear Mr. Daydenkov: I did it. Even though I am certainly going to lose my job now, I have left for Raleigh today to catch my flight. I should arrive at the airport and be ready to fly tomorrow. Can you please tell me who will be picking up and what I should be doing upon my arrival in London? Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 21 Await your arrival Dear Ludwig. Nice to hear that finally you are making the trip that you are already in raliegh ready to board the fligth. The description about what you will be wearing is not distinctive enough and it will be difficult to locate you like that, which i will not like to do. So i will suggest that when you get therecheck into a hotel buy a sim card and give me the number so that i can call you, and know the exact direction you are. I hope you will abide by this little instruction, i will wait for you till i see you. Dmitri. R. P. Ludwig November 21 Pick Me Up Dear Mr. Daydenkov: Hello again. I was thinking exactly what you were about my clothing: it doesn't really stand out. So instead I'm wearing a t-shirt that reads "Leone is STILL champ" and a cap with my initials (RPL) on it. The t-shirt is green and the cap is black with white lettering. Will I be meeting you or an associate of yours at the airport? Mr. Daydenkov, I don'twant to sound worried, but I'm really afraid about this. I'm doubtlessly going to lose my job for not showing up yesterday (or today, for that matter). How am I going to get another one? I'm somewhat smart, but not really academic smart, so my college grades weren't that great, you know? And that was one thing I liked about Kyle The Great: he looked past performance. He had a real eye for talent. Man, I hope I didn't make the wrong decision here. I'd just be mortified if this thing doesn't pan out. Please do what you can to ensure that we get the money. Yours, R. P. Ludwig Dmitri Daydenko November 22 Follow this instruction. Dear Ludwig. How are you, have you arrived ? please do as i told you, check into a hotel then buy a sim card and send me the number of the phone so that i can call you and know how to get to you. I hope you will do as i said because time is no longer on our side, i sympathize with you on your job and assure you that nothing will go wrong as long as you do as said R. P. Ludwig November 22 Back Dear Mr. Daydenkov: I'm sorry for not having told you this earlier, but I have decided to fly back to America. I'm terribly afraid that I have lost my job for good and cannot risk another day unaccounted for. I figure that if I beg Kyle The Great to take me back and offer to take a salary cut, I'll be able to return to my job. I know I could make much more money with your offer, but I'm just too afraid to go through with it. If there was some way you could have my share delivered to me I'd glady help you, but I know that there isn't. So I'm sorry, Mr. Daydenkov. Thank you, though, for working with me for the three or so weeks that this thing was going well. I wish my job hadn't gotten in the way. Good luck finding someone else to assist you. Yours, R. P. Ludwig |