PLUMBING THE DEPTHS

Barry Lenner, plumbing magnate and philanthropist of Waukepetonsett, Iowa, is back.
In his first outing, Mr. Lenner took on Evangelist Debra Wealth (yeah, really).
Here Barry enlists the help of Lonslo Tossov of Tossov Investments.

Featuring:
JACKSON TERRY - scammer and social commentator (mrjacksonterry_02@virgilio.it, mrjacksonterry02@myway.com)
EZE JOHNSON - Lawyer Lad (barristerjohnsoneze2005@yahoo.com)

versus
BARRY LENNER - plumbing magnate
LONSLO TOSSOV - international investor
TUSHIE MESHUGANAH - West African Division, Private International Scambaiters Security

Admirers of Mr. Lenner may wish to visit his beautifully detailed web site: www.freewebs.com/barrylenner
which describes Mr. Lenner's philanthropic largesse, plumbing, and history.


JACKSON TERRY

Subject: HELLO :REPLY ASAP
Date: Tue, 2 May 2006
X-Originating-IP: 62.56.148.22
Received: from vsmtp3.tin.it ([212.216.176.143])

FROM:Mr Jackson Terry the manager of Auditing and
Accounting
department of NAL MERCHANT BANK PLC here in Africa.
Re:

Transfer of the sum of us$36mTHIRTY SIX MILLION US DOLLARS) dollars into your Account first, I must solicit your confidence in this Transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being Utterly confidential and top secret. Though i know that a transaction of this magnitude will make anyone Apprehensive and worried. But I am assuring you that All will be well at the end of the day. We have decided To contact you through this medium due to the urgency of this transaction as we have been reliably informed Of your discreteness and ability. Let me start by Introducing myself to you.

I am Mr Jackson Terry the manager of Auditing and Accounting department of A BANK here in Africa. I came to know about you in my private search For a reliable and reputable person to handle this Confidential transaction as we are still in active Service. The proposition.

A German national, late Mr Andreas Schranner an oil Merchant/contractor with the federal government of Nigeria, until his death years ago in a ghastly Air crash in an Egyptian airline, banked with us here in Africa.and Had a closing balance of $36mTHIRTY SIX MILLION US DOLLARS) used which the bank Unquestionably expects it to be claimed by any Available foreign next- of-kin to the late beneficiary fervent valuable efforts were Made by my Bank plicate get in touch with any of the Andreas Schranners family or relatives but proved to no avail.It is because of the perceived possibility of not being able to locate any of the Mr Andreas Schranner [next-of-kin] that I am only contacting you as a foreigner because the bank is going to welcome you as a foreigner and for the fact you have the correct information about the account, which I will give to you before we proceed. , we are assuring you of 100% Risk free involvement. Your share stays40% and 10% for any expenses while the Rest will be for me and my colleagues for Investment purposes in your country.

If this proposal is alright by you, then kindly get to Me immediately with your following infomation, your full name and contact address, your telephone/fax numbers, age and your occupation. Thank you in anticipation of your Co-operation.
Yours
faithfully,

Mr Jackson Terry
the manager of Auditing and
Accounting
department of NAL MERCHANT BANK PLC here in Africa.


[Scam-o-note: scam-o-fans will recognize this as a classic Dead Bank Customer Memorial Letter. Andreas Schranner was a real person who died in a real plane crash, and whose name is used over and over again by scammers.]


BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Dear Mr. Jackson Terry,

Good God, man, $36 million dollars? Are you sure this was meant for me? I don't recall having met you, and this is an awfully large transaction to trust to a stranger. I'm a plumbing supplies wholesaler. How can I possibly help you?

At any rate, before I give you any personal information, I'm going to have to know more about you and this business. It's confusing.

Also, which e-mail address should I use? You provided me with an Italian one as well as this one.

Yours sincerely,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner
President and CEO
Lenner Plumbing Supplies Warehouses, Intl., Inc.
14 Coxwank Industrial Park
Waukepetonsett, IA 50392



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Tue, 2 May 2006 Dear Partner
Thanks for your Kind response and i strongly belive that you will not let me down now or in future.
i am Mr Jackson Terry,the auditor general of Nal Merchant Bank.please do not be confused because such aoppotunities comes once like this. What i need from you to is to stand as the beneficiary of the funds after the transaction i shall give you 40% from the whole funds and take 45% then 5% will be use to settle every expenses before the end of this transaction.and remaining 10% will be used for charitable work and also to help the less priveledged, I strongly belive that by the grace of God we will be able to conclude this transaction within 21 working days and we will share the funds and use some part of the funds for charitable work and also to help the less priveledged. please for prior indentification i will want you to forward me your following informations below as follows 1.YOUR FULL NAME.2. YOUR COMANY NAME AND RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS3.YOUR COUNTRY AND STATE OF ORIGIN4.MARITAL STATUS AND AGE5.OCCUPATION6.YOUR MOBILE TELEPHONE NUMBER,FAX NUMBER AND HOME PHONE NUMBER7.your scanned international passport or driving licensed MAY THE PEACE OF GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AND I KNOW THAT WE MUST SURELY CONCLUDE THIS AND SHARE THE FUNDS ACCORNDINGLY. Yours sincerely Jackson Terry you are free to call me.234-8036282162



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Dear Jacksoff,

Let's get one thing straight. If we are to be partners, then you need to read my responses to whatever it is you're trying to tell me, and you need to read them carefully. You didn't answer my question. Therefore, I shall ask it again. Which e-mail address do you want me to use? This one, or the Italian one?

We're talking about $36 million. That's a lot of money in my country, and it could damn near buy your country. The modalities need to be free of snafus. Precision, man, precision. None of this babbling on. Get right to the point.

Also, if I'm going to be your partner, use my name. The name isn't "partner." It's "Barry." Since we don't know each other very well, or at all, the name to you is "Mr. Lenner."

I am leery of giving you all my personal information over the Internet. There is a lot of identity theft out there. This sounds like a terrific opportunity, but before I am convinced, I'm going to need to see some identification from you AND some documentation of the funds.

You can send that information back as an attachment to this e-mail address. Furthermore, if you'd like to make this a joint venture between your company and mine, why don't you look at my corporate website listed below.

I expect your prompt reply. Let's get these modalities moving.

Sincerely,
Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Wed, 3 May 2006

Dear Mr. Lenner
Thanks for your response.i am very sorry if i did not answer your questions as you wanted it. 1. please always contact me from this mail box(mrjacksonterry02@myway.com) and not the italian one.2.my full name is JACKSON TERRY A.3.the Auditor General of Nal Merchant Bank Lagos Nigeria4.my mobile telephone number is 234-80362821625.check the attchment to see my work ID for your perusal.6.age is 49 years old
The certificate of deposit of the said fund will be made avilable to you as soon as i get your details.
please feel free to call me on my mobile.
Yours sincerely
Mr Jackson TerryAuditor General of Nal Merchant BankLagos ,Nigeria




[Scam-o-note: This looks a lot like Nuhu Ribadu, head of Nigeria's Electronic and Financial Crimes Commission (www.efccnigeria.org). "Jackson Terry" is having his little joke. We do hope he meets Mr. Ribadu in person.]


BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Dear Jacksoff,

Well, that's better. My details are, as they have always been, below, in my corporate signature. That is a lovely picture of you. You are a very attractive man. Has anyone ever told you that?

Now what exactly is it that you want from me? I gather some Kraut named Schranner died in a plane crash, but I am a little hazy on the details of my involvement in this undertaking. You will explain in greater detail.

Now I have a few questions about your proposed breakdown of the effects of the late Herr Schrammer.

1) 5% for expenses. That's 1 mil, 800 k. What expenses do you foresee? How expensive will this transaction be?
2) 10% to charity? $3.6 mil for charity? Good God, man, that's a lot. Why don't you just donate that money to my foundation? We can disburse the funds more efficiently than you. Or, you could always launder the money through my foundation. That's what I use it for.
3) You want to keep 45% to invest in my country? Where were you thinking of investing it? How would you like me to introduce you to my investment experts?
4) Are you married, and if so, how many children? Send a picture. As a dear friend of mine once said, "Any man who doesn't spend time with his family is no man at all."
5) Who handles the plumbing supplies for the building where your Bank offices are located? I've tried getting into the Nigerian market, but since there is so little indoor plumbing there, it's been a difficult market to crack.

Respond immediately.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Thursday, May 4, 2006

Dear Lenner
what i want from you is to stand as the beneficiary to the money and because you are a foriegner my bank will approve the money in your favour.please there will be no too much expenses as you said.i dont forsee to much expenses moreover i am assuring you that this business is 100% risk free

Mind you that i am an insider in the bank so i am hiring an attorney who will be representing you here until the money enters your account.the attorney will prepare an agreement for us that will be binding usthroughout the course of this transaction.this agreement will stand as a contract paper for us.i will sign and you will sign too.because everything we are going to do must be legally guided,so that we will not voilate the internatioal remittance law.

Regarding the 10% for charity and less privelegde i will want you to advise me on that. concerning the kind of investment i will venture in,please you are an expert so you have to advise me on the best lucrative business to invest my money on.

please kindly give me your mobile telephone number and office telephone number because we need to talk. or you call me.

May the good Lord grant us strenght.

Yours Sincerely

Mr Jackson Terry

waiting for your response



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jacksoff,

Where do you get off calling me by my last name? The name is Bernard Lenner. My friends call me Barry. You can call me Mr. Lenner.

All right, so I'm to stand as beneficiary. Well and good. Now what? We just wait for your lawyer to slink in with his documents? Fine, send me the documents.

Not to mention the fact that I'm getting a little perturbed at your apparent inability to answer simple questions. So I'm going to ask them again, in words of one syllable. Try to follow along, Tarry, it's not rocket science.

Are you married, and do you have children? And if you do, send pictures. This is important to me. As a family man myself, I prefer dealing with other family men.

Who handles the plumbing supplies for the facility where you office?

Finally, since you concede that I am the expert in modalities, I am assuming that you are acceding to my desire to bring my financial advisor in on this. My foreign investments are handled by Tossov Investments SA. From here on out, I would prefer to copy him in on this.

I will wait, sir, for your approval prior to doing so.

Awaiting your immediate response

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Subject: urgent Date: Fri, 5 May 2006

Dear Bernard Lenner
Thank you once again for your response and concern about my family.but its quite unfortunate that i am not yet married .
The company that is handling the plumbing of my bank is based here in Nigeria and well know for thier Good works. Rio Construction Ltd Enugu Nigeria.
i have informed the barrister to prepare an agreement for us,i beleive by tomorrow you will have a copy.
you seem to be hiding somethings from me.please i am really keen about this kindly give me your mobile phone number anf fax number because you cant expect me to send you those paper work once it is ready through the internet ,i cant afford to take such risk.
i am waiting for your promt response.
Thanks once again my dear Friend for your wonderful co-operation.
Yours sincerely
Mr Jackson TerryAuditor General of Nal Merchant BankLagos ,Nigeria



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Terry Jacksoff,
Your picture indicates a man of full middle age. Explain to me why you are not married. Are you homosexual? Personally, I don't care one way or the other, but I do like to know what sort of man I am dealing with, so far as partners are concerned.

Many thanks for the information on your plumbing contractor. I am not familiar with Rio Construction, Ltd., of Emugu, Nigeria. Please be so good as to provide me with contact information for them.

As to the rest of your rather impertinent email, how dare you, sir, imply that I am hiding something from you? I have been nothing but aboveboard and honest throughout the course of this deal. All of my information is, as you see, in my corporate signature below. It is also readily available on my website.

As far as not being able to send paperwork via the Internet, why in the world not? It's much safer to send it that way than by fax. I do understand that you are operating in the Third World, sir, and thus you probably think your primitive tribal gods are moving these modalities forward, but for the love of Christ and all the saints, Jacksof, get with the program. I assure you they are not.

Please send the paperwork immediately via the Internet, which is the fastest, safest, and most reliable way to reach me. In the meantime, sir, I am copying in my financial advisor, Mr. Lonslo Tossov of Tossov Investments, SA. He is more well-versed in the intricacies and nuances of international modalities than am I.

Let's see an improvement in efficiency from your end.

Yours, etc.
Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Sat, 6 May 2006

Dear Bernard Lenner
Thanks for your email,this is weekend and here in my country we do regard weekend as holidays.
i have instructed my attorney to prepare a contract form for both of us before we can poroceed on this matter again and by monday you cn have a copy of it.
finally my name is not Jacksoff, but Mr Jackson Terry
please permit me to ask you this question,is it a sin not to get married?or is it an attrocity in your country for not marrying?
please confirm this numbers for me i got from your website. phone 6505915699,i really need to talk with you and be sure its you that i am dealing with.
waiting for your immediate answers.
Mr Jackson Terry



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jerkson,

My apologies for mangling your name. I am slightly dyslexic.

I have no doubt weekends are regarded in your country as holidays. This accounts for the rather backward stage in which your land finds itself. In my youth, I worked twelve-hour days, seven days a week, only seeing Mrs. Lenner often enough to impregnate her with the next little Lenner. As you can see from the site, they are fine boys. Let me suggest that you set an example to the rest of those "Jambo-Jambo" jumping jiminies in your country by exhibiting a rigid work ethic. Or anything else rigid.

I await the contract from your attorney. What is the rascal's name, so that I can be sure his comminiques do not end up in my "Junk" folder? Copy my financial advisor, Mr. Tossov, on any further communiques. He is now intimately involved in these modalities. Failure to do so will be regarded as a rank insult.

As to your unmarried status--rest assured I have no personal interest in any receptacle wherein your manhood seeks solace, be it that of a woman, beardless catamite, bonobo, hyena, okapi, or fellow-tribesman. But where I come from, if a man of your appearance--which is swoon-worthy--and social status isn't married, eyebrows are raised and questions are asked.

Yes already, in the name of Christ and all the saints, that's the damned phone number. When you call, be sure to ask for my personal assistant, Isaac Hawke. The receptionist is a trifle deaf, but if you raise your voice and repeat, "ISAAC HAWKE, ISAAC HAWKE," she'll know what you want.

Have a terrific weekend, and make sure this contract arrives by Monday. Do not tarry, Jackson. As we say in the plumbing supplies business, never let your ballcock dip too low.

Yours, etc.
Bernard "Barry" Lenner



LONSLO TOSSOV

JACKSON I HAVE BEEN COPIED IN TO THE CONVOLUTED CORRESPONDENCE SO FAR BETWEEN YOU AND MY CLIENT MR LENNER OF LENNER PLUMBING SUPPLIES AND AM AMAZED AT THE RELUCTANCE YOU SHOW HITHERTO TO MAKE REAL AND CONVINCING CONTACT OR SUPPLY DOCUMENTS IN THIS MATTER_FOR GODS SAKE MAN THIS IS NOT CHILDS PLAY_IF YOU WISH US TO TAKE YOURSELF AND THIS COMPANY RIO CONSTRUCTION OF EMUGU NIGERIA SERIOUSLY THEN I SUGGEST MORE APPLICATION IS REQUIRED_IN THE MEANTIME I WILL RELUCTANTLY MAKE FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENTS TO TAKE MODALITIES FORWARD_THIS ASSUMING YOU REPLIES PROVE SATISFACTORY_ IS THAT CLEAR?_EITHER THIS OR I SHALL INSTRUCT MR LENNER TO DEAL WITH YOUR APPROACH WITH THE DISDAIN THAT ANY NATIVE NONSENSE NORMALLY ATTRACTS_GET TO IT AND HURRY MAN

KINDLY REGARDS

Lonslo Tossov
Tossov Investments SA
1 Yanker Ave,
Mbalongawank 123
Via Costeira - Natal
Phone/Fax: +55 (84) 202.1300



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Mon, 8 May 2006

Dear Barry
I received a mail from your financial expert and i understood everything he said,but you never said he will be contacting me.
This morning the attorney i hired brought the contract form to me to sign .i have signed my part so he will be sending you a copy for your file and also he has gotten the certificate of deposit from my bank.
I presume that he will be sending both paperwork to you today.
THE ATTORNEYNAME IS BARRISTER JOHNSON EZE
email barristerjohnsoneze2005@yahoo.com
phone 235-8055991693
so he will be contacting you soon.
have a nice day.
Jackson



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jankson,

I can only assume that you spent the entire holiday-weekend blissfully chewing gat and sipping plantain liquor, because I CLEARLY stated on Thursday, May 4, that I would copy my financial advisor, Mr. Tossov, on all further communiques. Furthermore, I asked you--nicely--to copy him on all further correspondence, and that failure to do so would be regarded as a rank insult.

Consequently, Mr. Tossov is insulted, which is never a pretty site.

If these modalities are to be, as you put it, "utterly confidential and top-secret," I don't see the point of involving your lawyer, Mr. Easy Johnson. Furthermore, I don't like the idea of some sub-equatorial shyster with a pencil-thin mustache and a cheap suit having my contact information. I would far prefer that you send me this contract directly, and not involve any third party.

When you do get around to sending the contract--it is now Monday, by the way, and I don't have it--be absolutely certain to copy in Mr. Tossov.

On a different topic altogether, when can I expect to have a contact for Rio Construction, Ltd., of Emugu, Nigeria?

With the end so close, don't stumble now, Jankson. Keep the ballcock steady.

Yours, etc.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Mon, 8 May 2006

FIND HEREIN A COPY OF THE AGREEMENT LETTER.PLEASE SIGN AND SEND BACK.
JACKSON







BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Junkson,

I am beginning to regret becoming involved in these modalities with you. Your incompetence is overwhelming.

Answer me one question. Do you read my replies or not? I said to copy in Mr. Tossov on ALL FURTHER COMMUNIQUES from your office to mine. Why has this not been done?

Also, yet again, who should I contact at Rio Construction, Ltd., of Emugu, Nigeria? Why is this so difficult to answer?

As to the document in question, it's good to have finally received it. Now, you force me to waste yet MORE time on you because you did not provide an address where I should send it. Do so at once.

Mr. Tossov, would you be so good as to cast your practiced eye over said document? I shall send it in a subsequent email.

The ballcock seems to be slipping on your end, Junkson.

Yours, etc.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Mon, 8 May 2006

THIS IS THE DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE .GO THROUGH IT AND GET BACK TO ME.
HAVE A NICE DAY

JACKSON.





BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jankyson,

Thank you very much for yet another useless document. What in the name of sweet baby Jesus and the Gang from Galilee is the matter with you? READ THE DAMNED EMAILS!

1) You have failed to comply with my request that you copy Mr. Tossov in on ALL COMMUNIQUES.
2) You have failed to provide me with the name and number of a contact at Rio Construction, Ltd. of Emugu, Nigeria.
3) You have failed to provide me with an address where I should send back the signed contract.

You and failure. Do you begin to see a pattern emerging?

I have never in all my professional life dealt with such egregious incompetence. It flabbergasts me that NAL Merchant Bank would hire you to scrape wildebeest dung from their front steps, let alone make you the manager for auditing and accounting.

I dread turning to you for instruction, but now that I have printed and signed the contract, what's the next step? Try and operate at a level above your usual imbecility.

With much affection,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Tue, 9 May 2006

hello BERRY JUNK
your insult has becomed so much unberable.please send back my documents and go to hell if you wish.

i dont trust you anymoire,please you are very arrongant in nature and i think i made the mistake to contact yoiu in the first place.
please you can go on with your plumbing business and drink your coffee.
i am sorry you are not compenetent eneough foir this business because you have so many questionable characters.
please kindly send back my documents through this address.
if you still want to do business with me then you go and learn manners of approach.
i am not your governor or mr bush that you can insult any how you like.
i am sorry you canot be trust.
1,you have no phopne number showing how poor you are.
2,you dont have any residential adddress.
3.your finanacial expert called himself an expert its a pity i think he went to underpriveleged schools for his training.he cant even write a simple sentence.
a lot of gramatical errors,
please send back my contract form pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
JACKSON AND NOT JUNKSON



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jankson,

There there, calm down, dear boy. I understand you natives are a bit excitable, but I never expected you to go all to pieces like that. Perhaps I was a trifle rough on you. I assure you that it was for your own good. Let's answer all your little points one by one.

>i dont trust you anymoire,please you are very arrongant in nature and i think i made the mistake to contact yoiu in the first place.
Of course I'm arrogant. I've built a multimillion dollar business out of nothing.

>1,you have no phopne number showing how poor you are.
It is clearly posted on my website. I had assumed that you'd read the site prior to contacting me. Have you been to the site yet? Might I suggest you do so?

>2,you dont have any residential adddress.
I asked you repeatedly why you needed it, and you never answered me. Explain why you need it, and if your reasons are legitimate, I will be happy to give it to you.

>3.your finanacial expert called himself an expert its a pity i think he went to underpriveleged schools for his training.he cant even write a simple sentence.
This would be amusing, if I didn't think you were serious. Mr. Tossov has an advanced degree in astrophysics from the Sorbonne, and a doctorate in molecular biology from the University of Gottingen. He has published six novels--one was short-listed for the Booker Prize--and he threw away a promising career at Cheyenne Mountain Stargate Research facility to go into international finance, largely to help Africans.

>please send back my contract form pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
The contract is printed, signed, and sitting on my desk. Where do you want me to send it? I asked you for an address, and you never provided one.

As I have pointed out, sonny boy, the negligence has been on your part, but you're still learning. Now wipe your eyes and let us bring these modalities to a successful conclusion. Weeping is for women. I know what your tendencies are, but fight them and be a man, Jaklson. I have faith in you, lad.

Keep that ballcock proudly aloft! Yours, etc.
Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Tue, 9 May 2006

hello whatever you call your self

please stop all further contacts with me. you are full of your self. i know you are not who you claim to be. i cant trust you anymore. stop writing me. thank God that i never released the remaining documents to you bastard. get out of my way. you want to ruine all i have laboured for years. you are greedy,if you say you have built multimillion business why do you want my money with force.
bye.
bye bye bye bye bye bye,
jackson.



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jankson,

Really, man, this is ridiculous. You're acting like a girl-child. No one wants to ruin everything you've worked for for years. Enough of your native whimpering and whining. Now let's be on about this business. Apparently you still aren't reading my responses. Where do you want me to send the signed contract?

Also, if you are really, really convinced that you wish to end modalities, I am still in possession of the previous documents you sent: your ID card, the contract from Easy Johnson, and the Certificate of Deposit. Where should I send them?

Answer immediately.

Much love,
Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Wed, 10 May 2006

please send them back with this mail box.
i am waiting.

bye.
Jackson



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Mr. Jankson Teri,
The signed contract is right here on my desk. To which address should I send it?

All the love in my heart, etc.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Wed, 10 May 2006

Hello bernard please send the agreement back with attachment to this email box then send me a scan copy of your passport. send me your mobile telephone number. if you agree with this terms then we can continue. with love Jackson



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jankson Teri,
I do not have a mobile telephone number. I don't need one. All my business calls come through the office. Please call the number listed on the website and ask for my personal assistant, Isaac Hawke.

As to the agreement--Jackso, it is SIGNED. There are two pieces of paper printed out and sitting on my desk. I cannot physically attach them to an email. I need you to give me somewhere to send it. If you need originals, give me an address. If a fax will do, give me a fax number.

Also, my passport is out of date. If that is a problem, will a driver's license or other form of state-issued identification do?

Jacksno, I think we got off to the wrong start. I was offended by your inability to execute simple conditions--you were offended by my verbal abuse of you. Let's start over and try to be friendly.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Wed, 10 May 2006

Hello Bernard
Thanks for your response.
how can a multimillion dollars businessman does not have mobile phone?
write the number yourself and send to me.or you give me your home phone or dont you habe a home phone too?
send your drivers license scanned copy.
i will be waiting.
Jackson



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jankson Terri,

Watch your tone, boy. You only now got back into my good graces. I advise you to stay there.

Son, let me explain something to you. People at my level do not answer their own phones. You are the head of Accounting and whatever at NAL Bank. Do you answer your own phone? Of course not. You have a secretary, am I right? I bet you spend all day chasing your secretary around the desk, too. What's his name, you rascal?

At any rate, I, likewise, do not answer my own phone. That is why I have a personal assistant. His name is Mr. Hawke. Is all of this perfectly clear? Christ. Now call this number:

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

Ask for Isaac Hawke. When Isaac answers, tell him your name, and tell him that Mr. Lenner is expecting your call. Is all of that perfectly clear?

Also, again: where should I send the signed contract? What is the address of NAL Bank? You asked me for the documents. Jackon, I am trying to get them to you.

For the love of Christ and the saints, Jackoson, let's get these modalities over with. It's been a week to complete one simple modality.

Yours, etc.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Dear Bery
the agreement document is for me and you and not you and Nal Merchant Bank PLC.ok send me your driving licensce scanned copy of it through this email box.
i want to be sure its you i am dealing with.
i dont want to loose everything.
moreover its courtesy that you send these things.
Jackson



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Dear Jack,

Calm down, son. I've been conducting international modalities since long before your priapic pre-industrialized paterfamilias jammed his great, grey-green greasy Limpopo into Mama Terry. You're not going to lose everything. I guarantee that you shall get everything that is coming to you.

I am well aware the contract is between you and me. I'm only going to ask this one more time. To which address should I send it? It is signed. In pen. On paper. Tell me where to send it. Or, if a fax will do, tell me where to fax it.

Jackson, you try my patience. It is not courtesy that drives modalities. I don't owe you courtesy. It's business. We are trying to conduct business. Thus far, I have endured insults, fits of pique, and a level of efficacy equaled only by that of a rubber guillotine blade. I am attempting to give you exactly what you're asking for. Help me to help you, son.

Now, as to the license. I have two of them. Do you want my Iowa State license, or my international one?

Keep that ballcock of yours a-flutter, son, the end is in sight.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



JACKSON TERRY to Lenner

Date: Thu, 11 May 2006

dear lerry
send the state and international driving license now.
Jackson



BARRY LENNER to Jackson

Jackson,

All right, I'm going to try a different approach with you. Here is the license. I have given you want you want. Now. What about the contract? WHERE DO YOU WANT THE CONTRACT TO GO?

If you don't give me an answer, I'm going to send it to Easy Johnson.

Christ, it's difficult getting anything done.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



[Mr. Lenner's ID is in fact in our files, and such a distinguished-looking fellow he is:]



LONSLO TOSSOV to Lenner and Jackson

Date: Fri, 12 May 2006

MR LENNER I AM LATELY BACK FROM THE SMEGAROON CONFERENCE OF FIDUCIARY AFFAIRS AND NOTE TO MY ALARM THAT THIS JACKSOFF HAS NOT ABIDED BY THE REGULAR EXPECTED STANDARDS OF BUSINESS LET ALONE FOLLOWED YOUR OWN INSTRUCTIONS_I WOULD SUGGEST THAT THE FELLOW IS NOTHING BUT SOME NAUSEOUS NATIVE ON THE MAKE AND WOULD SUGGEST HE IS TREATED ACCORDINGLY_I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN HANG AROUND LIKE A HEAD HUNTER IN A COOKING POT SHOP_I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT

T



JACKSON TERRY to TOSSOV

Date: Fri, 12 May 2006

hello whatever you call your self
i dont think you are properly trained.your arrongancy and the way you talk tells me that really you are just an idiot and nothing but that.
my status has alraedy differentiated me from whatever you think you are.
kindly stop all further contacts with me.
your barabaric nature will soon make you loose your work.
jackson



LONSLO TOSSOV to Jackson Terry

JACKASS_I AM NOT SURE TO WHAT YOU ALLUDE IN SUCH HALF LITERATE FASHION_PERHAPS IT IS THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A SCAMBOY ON THE MAKE WHO HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS SUCH AND YOUR MESSAGE COPIED IN FAR AND WIDE ONLINE AS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT A PATHETIC MUGU IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS?_YOU ARE CERTAINLY RIGHT ABOUT YOUR STATUS BEING DIFFERENTIATED AS IT CLEARLY IS ONE OF A MORONIC MUPPET WHO CANNOT WORK A CON TO SAVE HIS LIFE_FOR GODS SAKE GET A DECENT JOB MULE SKINNING AS IT WILL SUIT YOUR LIMITED ABILITIES MORE PROFITABLY THAN THIS HALF BAKED SCHEME_NOW GET LOST AS I HAVE OTHER CROOKS TO BAIT

TOSSOV


Barry Lenner:

Mr. Tossov, old man,

Hope the golfing in Smegaroon was up to its usual standard of excellence. Not only does the picture of the course on the brochure make my fingers itch to grab my putter, but the clubhouse looks opulent almost to the point of obscenity. Gorgeous.

I begin to fear that you are right. Not only does this Jacksoff creature sulk like a female toddler when balked by the limitations of modalities, his inefficiency approaches the stuff of legend. I have been remiss in copying you in--shall resume immediately.

There is, however, a new development. His subtropical shyster associate, one Barrister Easy Johnson, has been in contact with me. In a subsequent email, I shall forward on that correspondence. We may yet wangle a few weeks of wasted time out of the bounders.

Keep the ballcock at a respectable level!

Yours, etc.
LENNER



BARRY LENNER to Barrister Johnson Eze

Barrister,

This is Barry Lenner, of Lenner Plumbing Supply Warehouses, Int'l., Inc., of Waukepetonsett, IA in the United States. I am next of kin to Mr. Andreas Schranner, a German national who died horribly in a plane crash and left $36 million to me. The money was deposited in his account at Nal Merchant Bank.

I have been conducting modalities with one Jackson Terry, who claims to be the head of accounting, but I think he is in reality some low-level flunky, for the better part of a week now, and I'd like them to be over. This idiot Terry, who is the most useless human being I've encountered, has thus far bungled every step of the process. In addition, he acts like an infant girl when you point out his failings, which are legion.

He sent me, via email, some kind of contract that originated in your office. I have printed it out and signed it, but he refuses to give me an address where I can send it. Frankly, I'm tired of dealing with him and I'd like to work with a professional.

Barrister, since I don't know anyone in your part of the world, I would like to engage your services as far as bringing this business to a successful close. Please provide me with an estimate as to how much your services would cost in order to finish this business off.

Looking forward to doing business with you.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner
President and CEO
Lenner Plumbing Supplies Warehouses, Intl., Inc.
14 Coxwank Industrial Park
Waukepetonsett, IA 50392



This same email was sent eight times.

EZE JOHNSON to Barry Lenner

From: johnson eze <barristerjohnsoneze2005@yahoo.com>
Subject: ACCEPTANCE LETTER AGAIN
Date: Mon, 15 May 2006
Received: from [62.56.148.21]
FROM BARRISTER JOHNSON EZE ESQ

ATTN.MR Bernard Barry Lenner

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE AND BE REST ASSURED THAT YOUR BUSINESS WITH NAL MERCHANT BANK OF NIGERIA PLC WILL BE HANDLED PROFFESSIONALLY AND YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

MY PROFFESSIONAL FEE WILL COST YOU AS MUCH AS 3500 US DOLLARS AND IT WILL BE SENT VIA WESTERN UNION WITH MY PERSONAL SECRETARY NAME BELOW

NAME:MR CHIBUEZE IWUEKE
LOCATION.NIGERIA

PLEASE I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR INFORMATIONS SO THAT WE CAN TAKE OFF.

I HAVE THE HONOUR TO REMAIN

BARRISTER JOHNSON EZE ESQ



LONSLO TOSSOV to Lenner: SIR NOTHING IS EVER THIS EZE_I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT



BARRY LENNER to Barrister Johnson Eze

Christ on a cracker, Easy Johnson,

A man can't even go away for a weekend without getting eight, count them, eight emails from you clogging my inbox. Calm yourself.

I have taken the liberty of copying in my financial advisor, Mr. Tossov, on this missive. He is far more experienced at conducting international modalities than am I, and his involvement will ensure that you receive what's coming to you.

I have some questions.

1) Does Mr. Jackson Terry, that weeping, sulking girl-child, know that I have contacted you? If he does know, sir, I would advise extreme caution. He's probably going to come after you and swat you with his handbag.
2) Will you provide an itemized list of charges that my $3500 will cover?
3) Are you physically attractive?
4) Don't I need a LOT more information about where to send the money?

Yours, etc.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner



After a silence of five days, Lenner becomes impatient.

BARRY LENNER to Barrister Johnson Eze

BARRISTER EASY JOHNSON,
WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?? I"VE BEEN SITTING HERE LIKE PATIENCE ON HER MONUMENT FOR THE ANSWER TO A FEW QUESTIONS THAT MOST RETARDED BONOBOS COULD ANSWER WITHOUT STRAINING, AND YOU GIVE ME NOTHING!

I WANT THE DAMN MONEY! I WANT IT! WHERE SHOULD I SEND YOUR FEE???? ANSWER THAT AND ALL THE OTHER QUESTIONS!!

Sir, I contacted you because I thought you would be more useful than that bitch Terry. It seems that your entire country is full of lazy natives too blitzed on the kind of cheap rotgut we Westerners won't touch to even get up off their Hottentot-sized asses, and ANSWER QUESTIONS. So HERE'S a RIGHT F******** GOOD QUESTION:

WHERE AND HOW DO I SEND THE GODDAMNED MONEY, YOU MORON??

With great respect,
Bernard "Barry" Lenner


Never heard back from Eze Johnson again.


TUSHIE MESHUGANAH to Jackson Terry

PRIVATE INTERNATIONAL SCAMBAITERS SECURITY

Your name and e-mail address has been forwarded to us. We do not trust the corrupt Nigerian authorities to deal with you so a representative from P.I.S.S. will shortly visit you and exact retribution for your very stupid and illegal attempts to execute a 419 scam.

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
West African Division
Private International Scambaiters Security



JACKSON TERRY to TUSHIE

Date: Mon, 15 May 2006

you are a big fool.



TUSHIE MESHUGANAH to Jackson Terry

We will see who is the fool when Captain Ojukwu of P.I.S.S. visits you...In your own interest I would suggest you be polite in your dealings with him.

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH



JACKSON TERRY to TUSHIE

Subject: RE: P.I.S.S.
Date: Mon, 15 May 2006

do you know the mistake you made is that you underated me in the first place and you always think that everybody that comes to the intrernet is a foll like you.

i will shut your site down in four days time and next time you will understand that you are dealing witrh a south african man real african.

bastard will be your portion because there is where you came from.

come to think of it how come whites as so blind that they weds Gays in the church thats an attorcity and a very shameful act,do you think God can forgive you people?

you took our people for slaves and i am bitter about that whenever i read the documentries and how you bastard shipone all our oils.

how wish i can lay my hands on you,and i will vampire you.

biggest fooollllllllllllllllllllll



TUSHIE MESHUGANAH to Jackson Terry

You are an even bigger idiot than I first believed.

1. I am an African born in Zambia but now living in Europe.

2. You shame the name of Africa by your criminal activities by playing on the good nature of people to try and rob them of their money.

3. We now know who and where you are and you will soon be visited by another fellow African from P.I.S.S. who will teach you how to behave.

GET YOURSELF A JOB AND LIVE AN HONEST LIFE AND STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS BEING A BLACK MAN.

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND GET A REAL JOB YOU SHOULD WRITE TO SIR MARMITE LUNNY-BINNS AND ASK IF HIS INTERNATIONAL WELFARE ORGANISATION HAS ANY VACANCIES. HIS E-MAIL ADDRESS IS sirmarmite@hotmail.com

I AM SENDING A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO HIM SO HE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.


Bernard Lenner: to Tushie and Lonslo -
Subject: Terry and his hangers-on
Date: Mon, 15 May 2006

Gentlefolks,
Insofar as that whining sissylad of a Jacksoff has been given the flip-off, shall we wrap this one up and send it to the good Postmaster?


[And they did!]