ABSOLUT LAD

The Lads meet another demented thrillseeker. Why can't they play it safe?

Johnny spills the beans sept7



Starring:
MISS RIKAMILO - scammer du jour
vs.
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE - kids, whatever he tells you, don't try it at home




MISS RIKAMILO

Dear Sir,
I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we have not known or met ourselves previously I am asking for your assistance after I have gone through a profile that speaks good of you.
I want to find out if it's possible for you to deal with individual as to investment . I came across your profile and I feel it's highly reputable that is why I picked an interest getting across to you in respect of investment at my disposal .
I will be so glad if you can allow me and lead me to the right channel towards your assistance to my situation now.I will make my proposal well known if I am given the opportunity.
I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you.
Well I am rikamula kamilo 26yrs old from Liberia,the only only daughter of Col. Rikamula Mustapha.
My father is now late,he died some months back during the last and current crisis in my country (Liberia).
He was one of the high officers in the leadership of formal president Charles Taylor who is now in exile after many innocent soul were killed ,My father was unlucky to be among those that was killed by the rebel.
The main reason why I am contacting you now is to seek you assistance in the area of my future investment and also for a help hand over some huge amount of money in my possession. This money (US4.5 Million)is deposited in a secuirty and finacier company in Europe some years ago by my father he made me the sole beneficiary . I am now asking you to stand on my behalf to make this claim,to stand as my partner oversea and in time of the investment as well.
As I have mention earlier I will make the procedure to this issue to be well known to you,if I am given the opportunity to do so plz contact me via my email adress rikamula@hotmail.com to enable us discuss. Pls attach your direct and full information .
miss rikamilo

kamilo at Friendster


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 20 Aug 2004, 08:59:15 AM
Subject: How can I help?

Sorry to hear about your old man. How can I help?

Johnny Knoxville


MISS RIKAMILO

Good evening my dear.
The main reason for contacting you about this is for security.I want the money secured in your care pending on my coming to meet and stay with you in your country or any country were the money will be invested.I would have loved coming there first but as it is now,i do not have international passport neither can i afford the air ticket and visa.My plan is that as soon as the money
is transfered to your account,you can come here and pick me with you.

According to my late father,this money was deposited in company for security purposes only and not for business,that is the reason why the money is not adding any interest since it was deposited.they called it BOND deposit.

the money was deposited by my late father as a family treasure and even the company does not know the content of the trunk.please you have to help me.

Just little more about myself.
According to my late father,my mother remaried when i was but three years old.she got married to one man from australia and since then,i have not set my eyes on her.i hate her because she hated me.After the death of my father,my uncle ceased everything he can lay his hand,infact he frustrated me.when the last attack by the rebels of our country came which many people died,i was among the people who ran out of the country to another country (senegal)where we are now as political refugee.
I met a girl here who has being so kind to me,she asked me to come and stay with her in their family house because of the problems we are facing in refugee camp.

thanks

Miss Rikamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 23 Aug 2004, 07:50:56 AM

Heeeyy,

Miss Kukkumula,

You can stay with me any time. Ya gotta get along with my buds though, we're ALWAYS looking for new ways to amuse ourselves, maybe you can show us how they have fun over there in the congo.

So send over the scratch, I'll show you how to spend it.

Johnny K


MISS RIKAMILO

hello,
sorry i can not understand yiour writes up ,can you pls clearify things for me,hope to read from you soonest.
miss rikamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 23 Aug 2004, 01:26:18 PM

Heyy,

I'm ready when you are. Where's the money??

Johnny K


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 24 Aug 2004, 03:13:37 PM
Subject: STOP MILKING THE MONGOOSE, LETS GET IT ON

Dude,

I had a rumble in my jungle, so I just got back from a water cannon enema. I'm a NEWWWW man. Now lets get down to business. You gonna send me the $$$$ or what?

Johnny K.


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 25 Aug 2004, 11:05:37 AM
Subject: Go Nads!!!!

Hey how's my tribal princess dooin'?

Got done slappin' the chassis, then joined my team, the Nads to compete in the bug-eye Alka Selter rabies man contest. We each downed five alkas with a quart of quinine and had our lips clamped with high tension clothespins!!!! My man Steve-O almost ripped his lips off but we held on to whip the Eric Shaun team!!

GO NADS!!!!!!

hey what happened to the BOND deposit Uhuru?


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 26 Aug 2004, 07:37:46 AM

Dear Sir,

I eagerly await further instruction from you.

Johnny Knoxville

Scammer takes the reverse bait


MISS RIKAMILO

Subject: ARE YOU READY 4 THE TRANSACTION?

Hello ,
i got your mail,but you look not set to help me in this issue,i am not contacting you because i want to be playfull or whatSOEVER you think of,i have contacted you because i want you to help me,if you can not help please kindly stop mailing me,i am not kneeling for you because you are in a position to help,should incase you are still interested in this transaction,and that you are ready to contact this company in Belgium ,were the deposit is done,then i will give you the contact,here we can talk on how to work out things,but be informed that i can not give you any of the documents concerning this deposit ,when you have not contacted the company,from there i will have to inform the company that you are my trustee,and that is all i want from you,.be informed that i will need all your contact details before this.
ms rikamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 26 Aug 2004, 10:48:32 AM

Dear,

I am ready to contact the company in Belgium. I will help you any way I can. Please give me the information so I can contact them.

Johnny K.


MISS RIKAMILO

Subject: plz ur information

Dear Mr. John,
Thanks for your mail,like i had told you before,i can only let go the documents concerning the deposit of this fund in Belgium,if only we can understand each other,you do like to contact the company when i do not have your contact address,telephone and fax number,your country of origine,for me i am in Dakar Senegal,so why don't you give me the full details as regards your self,i had sent to you my picture,and why have you refused to send yours to me,i am not kidding,i want to be real with you only if you are wanting to be real,supposing you contact the company in Belgium without a formal letter from me to them,no deposit information what will you say to the company,don't you think that it will all be stupid,i just want you to reason out this way,.
if we must be in good understanding regarding this fund,you just have to get accross the requested informations to me.
Have a nice time and hope to read from you.
Ms Rikamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 26 Aug 2004, 03:30:48 PM

Dear Ms Rikamilo,

Please excuse my wild behaviour. In my line of work I associate with people with sociopathic disorders in which I must communicate in such manner. I realize you are a serious person and with treat this important matter with a serious tone.

So first, lets get everything clear. I will send you my information, contact address, telephone and fax number, country of origine as you wish. But I do not understand why you say you send me your picture. You have not sent me your picture. Are you working with someone else in Darker Senegal? I think I should know now if I will be sharing the fund with others beside you and myself.

I am sending you here a photo of myself with my son, to show you I am a very serious person. Now please send me your picture too.

Seriously,

Mr. John Knoxville


MISS RIKAMILO

Dear Mr. John,
Thanks for your mail,i was getting concerned on how you have been talking with me before,but hope you will realise that i have provided you with a little hint regarding this fund,it is presently deposited in a company in Belgium,of which i do not have the means to be there that was why i have contacted you,and i think it was by no mistake,i am not working with any body neither do i have somebody working for me,i am just a refugee here in Dakar Senegal.
I am waiting to see the requested informations from you;so that i can give you the company contact in Belgium of which you will tell them that you are my trustee,and that is all i had wanted you to do.I am eagerly waiting to receive your informations,so that you can get the company contacted as my trustee.
I am not sharing this fund with anybody,it is a family treasure deposited by my late Father,of which i am the only survival of that family,so do not have it in mind that i have somebody working with me here or sharing the fund with me .
I have seen your photo and that of your handsome child,it was very nice to see you,i have attached my photo 4u,hope to read from you again.
Ms Rikamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 27 Aug 2004, 09:39:49 AM

**** note name of wife - a cheap scambaiter joke - JK

Dear Ms Rikamilo,

Dang that is a nice picture! Do you have a boyfriend in the refugee camp? Thank you for saying nice words about my son. He is a nice boy, he is half Korean, can you tell? His name is Hod, my wife, Fo Wan Nyn, is from Seoul, I will be travelling there soon. I travel a lot, right now I am in Europe for business. You can call me on my european cell phone at +34 XXX XXX XXX.

Here is my information so we can get started with the Belgian bank. I can easily travel to Belgium, my company will pay for it.

Mr. John Knoxville
700 S Gay St,
Tennessee, USA 37902
MY fax number is 1-509-695-3394

I do trust you, Ms Rikamilo, even though you thought you had sent me your picture. You look like a nice person with an honest face. Please call me to let me know how to help you.

Your humble and willing partner,

Joun Knoxville


MISS RIKAMILO

Hello Dear

The security company in belgium was the first place where the fund was deposited but was later transfer to one of the banks in london uk that is where the money is presently now .for security reasons i had told you that the money was in belgium i will be glad if you get intouch with the bank with the adress below

( Forexbonds Association )
Tel+44207 748 3258
Office Cell + 44 79849 389 85
Fax + 44 207 748 2279
info@forexbonds.co.uk
The contact person is the manager Mr Ducan Ross

when you contact the bank tell them that you are coming on my behalf as my trustee partner that you will like to know the information on how to transfer out funds from their bank please contact them by tel or email adress

Account Name Col Rikamula Mustapha
Next of Kin is Miss Kamilo Mustapha
Amount is 4.5Millions Dollars

My regards

check out DNS info on: info@forexbonds.co.uk - they registered it in June using a real london address

55 Bryanston Street (MARBLE ARCH TOWER)
London
W1J 8DJ
GB


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date:Mon, 30 Aug 2004 08:29:04 -0700 (PDT)
Subject:NEED TO SPEAK TO MR DUCAN ROSS
To:info@forexbonds.co.uk

Hey this is John Knoxville I'm trying to reach a banker dude named Mr Ducan Ross.

I am the trustee partner for Miss Kamilo Mustapha and I'd like to know the information on how to transfer out funds from your bank.

The account name is Col Rikamula Mustapha
Next of Kin is Miss Kamilo Mustapha
Amount is 4.5Millions Dollars

Please get back to me on this most serious urgent business,

John Knoxville

Cell phone:+34 XXX XXX XXX
fax 1-XXX-XXX-3394 (US)


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 30 Aug 2004, 02:39:38 PM
Subject: bogus bank information in london uk

Hey Ms Kamilo,

As we say in these parts, are you teasin' my rattlesnake? I emailed these guys pronto and when I didn't hear back I called +44(0) 845 686 0539 and they never heard of Mr Ducan Ross, Col Rikamula Mustapha and NOTHING about any fund!

http://forexbonds.co.uk/pgs/indexmainframe.htm

I was never so itchin' mad like when I poured honey and red fire ants down my shorts!!

I don't know Ms Kamilo but a nice young hottie like you shouldn't go around spreading no tales 'bout no BOND funds and no Librarian dicktaters. Fo Wan Nyn is so upset 'cause we was gonna go and use some of the money to get li'l Hod a new roller skate for Christmas. He lost the other one when we were pulling him behind the half-ton.

Johnny Knoxville


MISS RIKAMILO

Dear Mr Jonny,
thanks for your mail,and i want to let you understand that all you have written in this your last mail are not truth,you think i have contacted you because i want you to waste your time by wasting mine too,you have told lies,the fund in question is deposited in the company i had provided to you,so stop insaulting me,i am not here for that,so if i had given you all deposit details you could as well retrieve this fund and tell me same story,i can not imagine you saying this,well you are not to tell me were i had come from,i told you who i am so i wonder why you say such a thing,so if the bank does not exist like you had said,that also means that i do not exist,i am surprised at your wordings,stop playing fun out of real talks.
i remain ,
miss Kamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 31 Aug 2004, 08:25:20 AM
Subject: bank information in london uk

Hey Ms Kamilo,

Hey the bank emailed me and I don't know what to do, I'm gonna send you a copy of the email. Sorry dude, I was in bad mood yesterday. I was at work and one of the stunts went bad. My man Steve-O was shavin' my pubes with a hedge trimmer when he spilled boiling hot coffee all over my lap and the sparks started flying. Lucky my member is intact, takes more than a hedge trimmer to make me a soprano I tell ya.

Johnny Knoxville


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

To: Forex Associates
Cc: rikamula@hotmail.com
Date: 31 Aug 2004, 08:22:25 AM
Subject: Re: Inland Request (PDF)

Hey Ducan Sir,

What kinda endorsed attachment via email do you want?

Johnny Knoxville

Re: The account name is Col Rikamula Mustapha
Next of Kin is Miss Kamilo Mustapha
Amount is 4.5Millions Dollars


"BANKER"

Forex Associates <info@forexbonds.co.uk> wrote:

Dear SIR,

Your transactions will only be processed via fax on 442077482279 alternatively an endorsed attachment via email, be advised that we will not process services received via email as a plain text.


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 31 Aug 2004, 01:53:13 PM
Subject: Re: Please transfer my funds - document attached

Real bank name, routing no, bank phone, fake everything else, hope they don't get mad... sent to info@ forexbonds.co.uk

Dude,

Here's my paperwork

John Knoxville

[ sorry we couldn't do justice to the image - trust us, it was a form all right, all filled in with "John's" expectations about the money he is to receive ]


MISS RIKAMILO

Subject: HOPE TO READ FROM YOU.

Dear Mr. Jonny,
Why dont you call the bank directly on phone and clearify issues with them instead of writing on e-mails,i think they stand in a better position to tell us better steps we should be taken as regards the retrieval of this fund,and what plans do you have for me here in Africa,should this process begins,but i am very weary about your behaviour,i have to be very sincere with you.
Hope to read from you,and please do forward all messages from the bank to me.
Miss Rikamilo.


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 01 Sep 2004, 07:30:08 AM

Hey Rikamula!!

You're gonna be driving some new wheels around that refugee camp real soon! How 'bout a purple Cadillac with zebra seats? I sent the bank guy the form to transfer the money, should be in my account any time now -

Johnny K.

[At this point the "bank" sent Johnny a bunch of scary, official-looking forms. They were big graphics - we have rendered them as thumbnails and re-typed the text for readability.]


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 01 Sep 2004, 10:38:23 AM

Hey Miss Rikamilo,

Now the bank sent me a fax about some insurance bond! Can you believe it? Good thing for us is I got my own insurance people right here in Tennessee!! In my line of work it ain't easy getting no insurance. There's Yuri Tingschidt, who handles foreign insurance, and there's a new gal, Wilma Bazlayck, I don't know how much she knows but she sure gets me hotter than a ben-gay fistofest!!! Well considering this is a foreign matter there's no question Yuri Tingschidt for right now. But when this is all over I'd sure like to know Wilma Balzayck!!!

John Knoxville


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

To: info@forexbonds.co.uk
Date: 01 Sep 2004, 11:03:17 AM
Subject: Insurance Bond

Dude,

I'm working on the insurance bond. I sent your fax over to my foreign insurance bud, Yuri Tingschidt. I don't need your underwriter, Yuri Tingschidt is all I want.

Johnny K.


MISS RIKAMILO

Dearmr Jonny
i can not understand what you are trying to do,what form are you talking about?you are really making me scared about the whole thing,i do not know when you are serious and your playing time,i have only asked you to contact the bank,to confirm the deposit of this fund there,so what are you really talking about,are you now wanting to transfer this fund without my concent,please be far from that,you are making feel unrelaxed.
hope to read from you in details.why the driving of purple Cadillac with zebra seats?who owns that?
What have you told the company in London?
MISS kamilo.


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 01 Sep 2004, 11:10:14 AM

Hey MISS kamilo,

Hey I thought you'd LIKE a Cadillac to replace that worn out ox cart you must be drivin'. Do you think I am a jackass about $4 million???? The bank sent me a form, I filled it out, now they want some insurance bond or they're gonna take our money. I'm doing you a BIG favor. You open your hole like that to me again and you gonna get your OWN insurance bond.

Johnny


MISS RIKAMILO

Dear Mr. Jonny,
Thanks for your mail,i am really new to your words,it makes me baffled,so what is this insurance bond?i really want to know,not that i am getting offended or so,but at least you have to keep me up date,don't you think so?You are helping me,that i know very well,you need not to say it twice,but also i don't like the way you place your words to me,i am a lady like every other person,at least i should be corrected,i am not above mistsakes and it is not a mistake to ask questions,well i do hope to read from you .
have a nice time,lol
ms Kamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 02 Sep 2004, 02:52:04 PM

Hey ms Kamilo,

Glad we understand each other, you seem like a nice gal. I hate to tell you the bank is trying to pull one one us, they are looking for an excuse to take our money. I spoke to my insurance guy, Yuri Tingschidt, and he says we don't need no insurance bond to get the money, the bank guy's trying to yank my chain. I'm gonna have a word with Duncan Ross, but maybe you gotta get to London somehow and chew his cheatin' ass out.

Johnny K.


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

To: info@forexbonds.co.uk
Date: 02 Sep 2004, 02:58:54 PM
Subject: DUNCAN I'M ON TO YOU

DUDE,

What's all this bullshit about an insurance bond?? I spoke to my foreign insurance guy, maybe you heard of him. Do you know Yuri Tingshidt? He says no dice, there's no money washing going on here, I don't need no bond. I'm just trying to get a poor refugee her money for her. I smell a rat, are you looking for an excuse to steal the FUND??? Duncan, SIR, please transfer the money like you're supposed to, don't be a criminal rat bastard. Hey be a good Joe and you can keep $10,000 for yourself, what the hell.

John Knoxville


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 02 Sep 2004, 03:20:20 PM
Subject: Hello from Johnny

Hey ms Kamilo,

Do you like music? I was listening to Tom Petty and his hit, "Refugee" reminds me of us..it goes -

We get somethin' we both know it, we don't talk too much about it.
Ain't no real big secret; all the same, 'somehow we get around it.

Listen, it don't really matter to me.
Baby, you believe what you wanna believe.
You see, you don't have to live like a refugee.

Somewhere, somehow, somebody must have kicked you around some.
Tell me why you wanna lay there, revel in your abandon.

Honey, it don't make no difference to me.
Baby, everybody's had to fight to be free.
You see, you don't have to live like a refugee.
No baby, you don't have to live like a refugee.

Hey do you like it?? Nice, huh. I know, I'm being a sentimental jackass, but I had to tell you.

Oh, and there's another song from a long time ago, I think it's African, maybe you can translate it for me - here:

Ooo, Eee, Ooo Ahh Ahh
Ting, Tang, Walla Walla Bing Bang
Ooo Eee, Ooo Ahh Ahh
Ting Tang, Walla Walla Bing Bang

Please tell me what this means, I've been waiting a long time to find out.

Anyway I leaned on Duncan Ross, he better come up with the cash-ola or he'll know Yuri Tingschidt and he won't be happy with that!!!

Johnny


MISS RIKAMILO

honey,
you are sounding too sweet,every thing you need i have them waiting for you,take me over after the transfer and see the better part of me,do i need to say that i l!!!!!o!!!!!!vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv u.what are you doing with the bank now and what are they saying,hope to read from you soonest.
mss kamilo


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Date: 03 Sep 2004, 09:51:24 AM
Subject: Hello from Johnny

Hey Kamilo,

You better call the bank dork, cause he's stealing our money. I can't help you right now, gotta find a new job. I told you I'm a stunt man, right? Well everything went bad yesterday in the Weed-Wacker Mohawk contest. Peckerhead put high octane in the weed wacker, the freakin thing clipped the front of my nose and it took one of Steve-O's ears clean off!! This sucks harder than a Dakar whore!!!

Anyway, what does "ting tang walla wall bing bang mean" it's driving me crazy???!!

Love 'n kisses,

Johnny Knoxville


JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS!!! HEE HAWW HEE HAWW HEE HAW!!!!! ->

http://www.scamorama.com/johnny_knoxville_rikamilo.html

www.absolutjackass.com

us.imdb.com/Name?Knoxville,+Johnny

Johnny Knoxville
And the blokes at scamorama.com

[ The blokes are flattered but must point out that "Johnny" is an independent roving agent, like so many others. You never know when your 'victim' will turn out to be another "Johnny". ]



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