Les Adorateurs de Scammomama la Superbe sur son Orbite Flamboyante

Ever dreamt of creating a secte ??? Here comes "Les Adorateurs de Scammomama la Superbe sur son Orbite Flamboyante". As it is, everything revolves around the Red Planet and the color red, hence my "scammomamic name" Groseille (currant, in French). I'm not sure I would be considered sane anymore if this fell into the wrong hands... but it was great fun. I tried French to see if they were motivated enough to translate.

[Scam-o-note: any mistakes in webbifying French, or translations, can be blamed on the Scam-o-staff, much good may it do you. ]

Dr. Uba Jega

Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 13:31:23 GMT
Subject: business venture for you alone

From: Dr. Uba Jega
Satellite Tel: 874-762-918-985.
Satellite Fax: 874-762-918-986.


Strictly Confidential & Urgent Business Proposal.

Re: Transfer Of Usd $21,500.000{Twenty - One Million, Five Hundred Thousand Us Dollars Only.

I am a member of the Federal Government Of Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (N.N.P.C). Sometime ago, a contract was awarded to a foreign firm in the Petroleum Trust Fund (P.T.F.) BY MY COMMITTEE.

This contract was over invoiced to the tune of us$ 21.5Million Dollars. This was done delibrately. The over - invoicing was a deal by my committee to benefit from the project.

We not want to transfer this money, which is in a suspense account with the P.T.F. into any oversea account, which we expect you to provide for us.


60 % of the money would be for my partners and I.
30 % of the money would be yours, for providing us with logistics, which, would include a safe bank account, where we shall facilitate funds transfer into, as soon as documentations are concluded over here.
10 % of the money has been mapped out from the total sum to cover any expenses that might be incurred during the course of the transaction, (both local and international expenses).

If interested in assisting us, please contact me via my secured email address, as soon as possible (uba.jega3@caramail.com) or my secured satellite tel/fax number, specially procured for this project.

It may interest you to know that a similar transaction was carried out with one Mr. Patrice Miller, President of Crane International Trading Corp., of 153 East 57th St., 28th floor, N.Y.10022, Telephone: 212-308-7788 and Telex: 6731689. The deal was concluded and all covering documents, forwarded to Mr. Miller to authenticate the claims. Once the funds were transferred, Mr. Miller presented to his bank, all the legal documents and remitted the whole funds to another bank account, and disappeared completely. My colleagues and I were shattered, since such opportunities are not easy to come by.

Please, if you are interested in assisting us carry out to the fullest capacity, this transaction, we would require the following information from you which would enable us make formal application to the various ministries / parastatals, for the release and onward transfer of the money to your account.

1.Your Full Name, Company's Name, Address, Telephone and Fax Numbers.
2.Your Bank Name, Address. Telephone and Fax Number.
3.Your Bank Account Number and Beneficiary Name - You must be the signatory.

Please, note that we have strong and reliable connections at the Central Bank Of Nigeria and other Government Parastatals, hence assistance in this regards, would not be a problem.
At the conclusion of this transaction, we shall use same contacts to withdraw all documents used in the course of this, to avoid any trace whatsoever that may ever arise, to you or to us, now and in the nearest possible future.

It might also interest you to know that we are mere civil servants who do not want to miss this opportunity, hence, we want this money transferred out, as soon as possible, before the newly democratically elected government ever think of making enquiries as regards the various activities of the past military government.

Kindly contact me as soon as possible, whether or not you are interested in this deal, so that whereby you are not interested, it would give us more room to scout for another partner. But if you are interested, kindly contact me via above email, telephone or fax, so that we can swing into action, as time is not on our part.

I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.
Yours Faithfully,

Dr. Uba Jega.



Date: Mon, 01 Sept 2003 17:06:53 GMT

Salut et Fraternité en la Grande Déesse Scammomama !

Mon frère Davanta, ton courrier m'a été annoncé par Mars la Rouge, la planète où règne la Grande Déesse Scammomama. Tu n'es pas sans savoir que la planète rouge est venue nous visiter au plus près le 27 Aout pour que Scammomama la Grande nous inspire et nous guide. Gloire à Scammomama la Superbe dont le regard flamboie dans le cosmos !

Je ne cause pas l'anglais, mais Scammomama, la Grande Déesse de Mars la Rouge a fait tomber mes yeux sur "Usd $21,500.000" et là où tu me dis que tu me donne 60 %. Je suis heureuse que tu donne cette somme pour contribuer à l'édification de son Temple en ce bas monde. En effet, son Sanctuaire ne doit être que d'or rouge et de rubis, faute de quoi Scammomama la Vengeresse dèchainera sa vindicte sur notre planète et un déluge de feu s'abattra sur la terre. Gloire à Scammomama la Superbe sur son Orbite Flamboyante.

Pour que je puisse accepter de faire des transactions avec toi, il faut que tu fasse allègeance à la Toute Puissante Scammomama la Magnifique, Vêtue de Pourpre sur son Trâne de Grenat. Répète avant chaque repas la prière suivante, en ayant des gants rouges sur tes mains :

Oh Scamomama, Déesse de Mars
Je l'adore en Avril,
te révère en Mai,
te respecte en Juin,
te prie en Juillet,
t'implore en Aout,
te supplie en Septembre,
te venère en Octobre
et t'idolâtre les autres mois.
Oh Scammomama Imortelle Femelle,
c'est tout en rouge que tu es belle !!!

Comme il est d'usage dans notre sectes des Adorateurs de Scammomama la Superbe sur son Orbite Flamboyante, j'ai longuement imploré pour toi la Déesse Incommensurable devant un verre de rouge hier soir, à la lueur de sa Demeure Céleste, et ton nom Scammomamique sera Escarboucle. Tout courrier échangé devra donc se faire entre Groseille (moi) et Escarboucle (toi).

Ta Soeur Ecarlate en Scammomama, Groseille (mon nom scammomamique donné par la Déesse Suprême)

PS : Si tu peux me raconter ta lettre en français et en plus court, on gagnera du temps, et le temps c'est de l'argent...

Well! Here follows an attempt at translation for you anglo-scamo-philes:

Salutations and brotherhood in the great goddess Scammomama!

My brother Davanta[?], your message was announced to me by Mars the Red, the planet where reigns the Great Goddess Scammomama. You cannot be ignorant of the fact that the red planet has come to visit us around August 27th, so that the Great Scammomama may inspire us and guide us. Glory to Scammamama, the Superb, whose reknown blazes throughout the cosmos!

I don't speak English, but Scammomama, the Great Goddess of Mars the Red, caused my eyes to fall on the phrase "USD $21,500,000" and there where you tell me that you will give me 60%. I am happy that you are giving this sum to contribute to the creation of her Temple in this base world. In fact, her Sanctuary can only be of red gold and rubies, or else Scammomama the Avenger will unleash her vindictiveness on our planet and a deluge of fire will throw itself on the earth. Glory to Scammamama, the Superb, in her Flamboyant Orbit.

For me to agree to carry out business with you, you must swear allegance to the All-Powerful Scammomama the Magnificent, Mantle of Purple on her Garnet Throne [that last bit is probably wrong]. Repeat before each meal the following prayer, while wearing red gloves on your hands:

Oh Scamomama, Goddess of Mars
I adore you in April,
Revere you in May,
Respect you in June,
Implore you in August,
Beg of you in September
Venerate you in October
And idolize you the other months.
Oh Scammomama, immortal Female, It is all in Red that you are beautiful!!!

As is the practice in our sect of the Adorers of Scammomama the Superb in her Flamboyant Orbit, I long prayed on your behalf to the Immeasurable Goddess, over a glass of Red last night, to the glow of her celestial home, and your Scammomamic name will be "Escarboucle". All correspondence between us must be carried out between Groseille (me) and Escarboucle (you).

Your Scarlet Sister in Scammomama, Groseille (my Scammomamic name given by the Supreme Goddess).

PS : If you can tell me your proposal in French and more briefly, it will save time, and time is money...

I'm waiting... I opened a new account as "groseilles"... Lets just send a message from there trying some franglais ... my translator Chaperon Rouge is no other than Red Riding Hood...


Cher Brother Escarboucle,

May the blessing of Scammomama fall on you comme une volée de bois vert ! I have your lettre had traductioned by one of our brother in Scammomama. Please said me what I have to faire to have the money. My brother Chaperon Rouge will help me to traduction it. I am Scammomama la Superbe comptable and I am raidy to help you with the buziness.

I will be very contente to see your lettre to me.

you can write me to this compte, because it is my compte I use for Scammomama buziness. Gloire à Scammomama l'Incandescente !

Et ta Soeur !
(nom scammomamique donné par la Déesse Suprême)

Will he dare enter the cult of Scammomama? Will he suffer the fate of a thousand accents acute, grave, and circ?