From the plains of Iowa comes a tale of the red, white and rather blue.

In which the Lads perfect the virtual corporation but come away with nothing. Which sounds all too familiar.

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel - the bereaved "widow"
Christ Lawson - the "lawyer"

Herrel Foggs - American financial advisor and sharp dealer
Barry Lenner - plumbing magnate, Herrel's buddy

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Originating-IP: [] [CAIRO, EGYPT]
From: "Mrs. Nasiha Jameel" <nasihajam506@hotmail.com>
Subject: Please your Urgent Assistance is Needed Herrel Foggs.
Date: Tue, 30 May 2006
From Mrs. Nasiha Jameel,

Dear Herrel Foggs,

I wish to solicit your help in migrating to your country and investing my funds. Briefly, I am a Sudanese National and the wife of late Dr. Jameel Foggs, Until his death, my husband was the Chief Executive of the Diamond Mine in kanema, southern Sudan.

On April 6 2004 Rebels (Arab Militias) invaded the diamond mine And assassinated my husband, mistaking him for his brother Mohammed Jameel, who is a top Government official and special aide to the president. When the news reached me, I Hurriedly gathered some aluables in our family villa and escaped in the company of our Only son Atif Jameel.

Among the valuables was a file that contained details of a deposit my husband made in a security company in Lome, Togo. The document stated that my late Husband deposited 9.5 million US dollars contained in a trunk box in the name of our son Atif. The deposit was registered as family valuables and art works. I believe my late husband made this fortune from the sale of Gold and diamonds during his time as the Executive Director of the diamond mining corporation.

Now that we are in Togo and verified the existence of this deposit, we need your assistance to move this deposit out of Lome for investment in your country as we cannot invest here due to our status as political refugees. I am proposing to give you 10% of the total sum (9.5 million US Dollars) and 15% share in any investment we will embark upon if you assist us.

We will also set aside 3% of the funds for incidental expenses which you could make in course of this transaction (fax messages, phone calls, air tickets etc). I am making this proposal in good faith believing that you will not disappoint us knowing the difficult situation we are facing here in West Africa.

I will ask you to treat the existence of these funds as top secret for security reasons. Your urgent response will be appreciated as I will personally arrange towards getting this fund into your country through diplomatic means. Also,send me your telephone number so that you can talk with my son Atif Jameel, further. I am optimistic that this fund will be safe in your hands, as a reputable person that you are. Kindly reply via this email address ( nasihajam@yahoo.com ).

Thanks and May Allah be with you.

Best regards.
Mrs. Nasiha Jameel.

Herrel Foggs

May 31, 2006
Dear Mrs. Nasiha Jameel,

What a very strange coincidence this is that you would send me this email at this time. Your husband's last name really is Foggs? I've met very few Foggs' in the world and I am researching the family name all over the world.

In fact, I am planning a trip to Africa later this summer/early fall to continue my research. My research indicates I am an African, though I am one of the whitest men I know. As a result, when I am not conducting financial transactions or doing other business, I dress in tribal wear and unroll my mat and pray towards Mecca, Allah be praised.

I would be glad to help you in some way with your modalities, but I would be even more interested in spending some time with you and your son, learning about your history and heritage and that of your late husband. I am sure that your husband and I are long lost brothers. I wasn't planning on taking a trip to Togo, but I can chance my itinerary easily, since I have not booked my flight and I am waiting on getting my Passport Visa's approved.

Please send a picture of your son, so that I may look to see if we share any facial characteristics.


Herrel S. Foggs, MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, FON
Foggs Financial
P.O. Box 23
Laurens, IA 50554

"We firmly and mercilessly probity your rectitude."

Herrel Foggs

Subject: Foggs Family Tree
June 1, 2006

Do you want my help or not? You tell my you are part of my long lost African family. We share Allah as our God. I am rolling in money that I don't know what to do with and would like to help, and I don't hear back from you?

I will pray that this works out for me and for you. I am so lonely here in Iowa without my African family near me. I long for the taste of wild game freshly culled off the herd of musk oxen.

Fondly and with high hopes,


Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] Somewhere near FRANKFURT AM MAIN, GERMANY
Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: More Information.

Dear Herrel Foggs,

Thanks for your kind mail,i understand that in such a problem i don't think that a Muslim brother or sister will harm a muslim sister in such a condition,My of contacting you is for you to help me and my son claim this money from the security company in Lome-Togo and deposit it in your own bank account for eventual disbursement when we join you up over there.

I want you to know that in such issues we will need to sign an agreement that will bind us together.I will also send you copies of the vital douments of deposit for your proper understanding as we proceed.But please as you have just said that you will come to Africa,I will be very very happy if you come down,it will be more better for us to see face to face,and then we will proceedto security company together.

My late husband Dr Jameel Foggs deposited this money concealed in one metalic box in our security company in the guise of family valuable's under category D CLASSIFIED of the security company's deposit terms.He decided to deposit it under this guise because he did not want our security company to know the content to avoid raising eye brows or charging much demurrage when claiming back the consignment. All you have to do for us is to apply for claim/release of this box on behalf of my late husband as his foreign partner and named next of kin so that the consignments can be released to you.When this is done,you will open an account there in your country where you can transfer this money into your own chosen bank account in your country,and arrange for me and my son to come over there in your country to settle down to enable us invest the money there in your country in any profitable business under your own close supervision.

You do not have to worry because i have all the legal documents to this consignment I will relay to you all informations required in this transaction.I have in my position all the vital documents meant for the claim of this consignments and will be forwarded to you upon request from the security company.This project remains absolutely confidential and it also require total trust.I do not want somebody that will sit on this money when it finally hits your account. Like I rightly mentioned in my first letter,I have seeked your assistance as somebody I do not know and I do not think that we have met before.I can only tell you that it is just destiny that brought us together. As soon as you respond to this mail and prove your willingness to assist us in this transaction,I will forward to you the contact of the security company and tell you the next step to take.

Kindly forward your direct telephone and fax numbers to enable my son reach you whenever necessary.I will forward to you a prepared application text which you will retype in your own letter headed paper and fax to the security company demanding for the release/claim of this box.It also very important to let you know my precise predicaments here that made me look for a helper in this business.We are presently in lome Togo as a political refugees and with our status we can not in anyway apply for claim of such consignment bacause we do not have identity that bears our family name as Jameel Foggs this is why we need a foreigner to stand as the next of kin since we have all the vital documents which the security company will require from the applicant after which you will effect change of ownership of the documents to your name as the present next of kin for proper and legally claim of the consignment from the company.

Your assistance will involve a little expensis and based on this we decided that you will be compensated on a commission basis of 10% plus the 3% maped out for all expenses you must have incured during this business and 15% share in any investment we will embark upon your assistance to us.But an agreement need to be signed between you and my son for security reason's.

I will be expecting that you understand this mail and get back to me with this below informations Endeavour to get in touch with me immediately you received this message for this is necessary.I assure you that this transaction will be of mutual benefit for the both of us.
Notwithstanding,I would want to know about the following,

Your marital status, age,business and religion.

Please forward this to me in your next mailand this below information's.

Your Full Address......
Your Full Name.........
Your Phone/fax.........

I await your earliest response to my mail.

Allah Hafiz
Mrs.Nasiha Jameel.

Herrel Foggs

June 8, 2006

Dear Mrs. Jameel,

I praise God and his messenger for your letter. I am looking forward to meeting my long lost family. Could you please send me a photo of you or your son or your late husband?

I would like to travel to Africa to meet my long lost family, but my eye sight is starting to fail me, so I don't know if I'll make the trip or not. It would be better if you come to the United State. You must promise me you will visit me!

I look forward to receiving the documents. Please send them to this email address.

I am almost 68 years old. I am a widower. My wife passed away two years ago.

I am a recent convert to the one true faith -- I am a Muslim.

I run a financial services company called Foggs Financial. I live a comfortable life and am planning on retiring soon. God willing, I will be moving to Chicago, where I own a small flat that I currently rent out to a Muslim brother. There are no mosques in Laurens, but there are plenty in Chicago. I go to Al-Asr Muslim Center at least once a month. This is not to far since I own my own small plane. But with my eye sight being what it is, I am afraid they will take my pilots license.

My address and website are below. A tornado recently went through the area and took out all the phones. We get lots of tornados this time of year. The phone company is working feverishly to restore service, but the main phone switching station for Laurens was completely destroyed, as was the local bar (this is God's judgment I am sure). An entire herd of long horn steer were sucked up and thrown a full half mile. Their parts were scattered all over the local fields and now the scavenging coyote are a problem. Point being, everyone in this small town will be getting new phone numbers just as soon as they rebuild the station and repair the phone lines. Things are a little bit slow in Laurens so please bear with me until I hear from the phone company what my new number will be. I have been thinking of investing in a cell phone. Do you have a cell phone? Do you like it? Allah be praised, I have my internet service through my cable provider, so at least I have my email. Please send your documents to me via email.

With great fondness,


Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] TOGO, AFRICA
Date: Sat, 10 Jun 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Information.

Dear Mr. Herrel Foggs.

Thanks very much for your mail and may the almighty Allah keep rewarding you for all your help towards your family members of Muslem's,We will be happy to join you in USA but we don't know where to start from here.

Here is the security company contact and my son said that it's good that you contact them immediately you get this message to enable them start their evaluation on how to dispatch the consignment to you.I want to know your plans towards coming down to meet us and you will have to demand from the company to give you an accredited ecowas lawyer that will effect change of ownership of our documents to your name.

When are you planing to come and please my dear always update us with every development between you and the security company.Copies of the documents will be sent to you as soon as you confirmed you ability to speak to the security company and update us with every of their requirements.

Thanks for your understanding
Allah Hafiz

TEL/FAX: 00228 935 75 24

Name........... (Surname First Name (other name)Telephone No............
Fax...............Postal Address...............................

This form is to testify that I am a foreign partner to Late Dr Jameel Foggs and the present beneficiary to his consignment deposited in your company with serial number 042587 and category D Classified of your security company terms.

This information herein is true to the best of my knowledge as follows:

NAME OF BENEFICIARY : ...........................
COMPANY'S NAME: ..................................
MAIDEN NAME:.......................................
DATE OF BIRTH:.....................................

With the above information, I hereby agree and certify that I am the beneficiary to the deposited consignment to your company with the above mentioned serria numbers,i also seek for the release of the consignment to me through any Courier Diplomatic Agent to my address,i will take care of the delivery charges and pay off the outstanding bill such as domurrage charges of the consignment and i want an ecowas attorney from your company that can assist me authenticate my legal documents.


Thanks and keep intouch.

We will send you copies of our picture as soon as you forward your full address,phone number and we have to speak with you before we release the documents.

Thanks for your understanding and kindly get back to us asap.

Herrel Foggs

June 11, 2006

Dear Mrs. Jam Eel,

Thank you for the documents.

The phone company says they should have my phone back up and running some time by the end of the coming week. So, I should have a phone and a fax again soon. The damned coyotes ate my poor cat last night. Sat right there on my front porch eating the cats organs while I screamed at them from inside the house. I am setting traps tonight. They are a plague. Please pray for me.

There is something very serious I must discuss with you.

I am looking forward to helping you, but as my father Pliny Foggs, may Allah rest his soul, always said, if something sounds too good to be true, then you better poke it with a stick to see if it gets mad at you before you feed it.

Thus, I must gently chastise you for not sending me anything by which I can verify you are who you say you are, or any proof that Jameel Foggs walked this earth with you. So far, you have asked me for everything and have given me nothing.

I just don't see me sending off all sorts of personal information to someone who has done nothing to keep their end of the bargain. So, either give me some proof or stick it up your ass.

If you have nothing to give me, I will be heart broken, but I must take this chance before trusting you. I have recently received word from another African brother who is a Foggs. He has provided me pictures and has asked me to do nothing other than cash a check from one of his security companies, keep a small sum for myself and wire the rest to him. And as a result I am corresponding with many of my long lost family. Please, know that I am serious.

Khuda Hafiz

Herrel S. Foggs, MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, FON
Foggs Financial
P.O. Box 23
Laurens, IA 50554

"We firmly and mercilessly probity your rectitude."

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Mon, 12 Jun 2006
Received: from [] Somewhere near FRANKFURT AM MAIN, GERMANY
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Attachement

Dear Herrel Foggs,

Thanks for your mail and we attached copy of the deposit certificate for your proper understanding.

You can contact the security company to know if the document is alright or not.

We await to hear from you.

Nasiha J.

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] TOGO, AFRICA
Date: Sat, 17 Jun 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>

Dear Herrel S. Foggs.

Thanks for your mail,i will call you as soon as possible and kindly let me know if you have contacted the security company.

Thanks and more will be yours

Nasiha Jameel.

Herrel Foggs

June 27, 2006

Dear Nasiha Jameel,

I am sorry for the delay in my response. After the coyotes ate my cat in front of my eyes and with the stress of the tornado disaster, I contracted a horrible case of shingles. Do you know what shingles are? It is a rash brought on by great stress, which turns into fluid-filled blisters. I had a giant scab of blisters over a good portion of my chest and back.

I was hospitalized for a few days and am only now getting back to my writing. I had decided against traveling to you, but my sickness was a rude awakening that I might be in too poor of health to travel if I wait any longer.

Thank you so much for the documents. Now I am sure this is legitimate. I have not contacted the securities company. They must think I am lazy. Please assure them that I have been sick.

I must admit that I am a bit short on funds for such an adventure and traveling to Africa will be very expensive. I am going to borrow travel funds from a wealthy client of mine named Barry Lenner. While he is very supportive of my cause to help my family in Africa. It is my prayer that he accept the one true faith, may Allah save his soul.

I've also let him know the amount of money that is as stake. He likes money and this transaction has peaked his interest. Since he will be providing all the funds I might need for my trip, I am copying him in on this correspondence. I will pay him back with the money I make from our transaction, and I will also be giving him a percentage. I hope you find this agreeable. I don't expect that we'll hear much from him while we conduct our business, but he likes to be kept informed when he is lending his money.

May Allah and his Prophet watch over you and protect you.


Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] Somewhere near FRANKFURT AM MAIN, GERMANY
Wed, 28 Jun 2006

From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: I agree to pay him back with interest.

Dear Herrel Foggs,

Thanks for your response,I'm sorry for your are hospitalized. Your message is well understood.If you could not be able to fly down here because of your illness health i advise you as my best friend applying for an attorney who can res present you,then the money you will spend on flying down can be use for paying your attorney to be, and secondly your friend who is interested to help let him help as soon as the fund cleared he collect his percentage as agree i agree with you to Bering in your friend since you trust him and his an honest person with confidential.

Since you have not contacted the securities company,please go ahead and contacts them immediately.My friend you do not reget because of what ever you might spend on this transaction ,any expenses made by you most be deducts before sharing the fund according to agree percentage.The money you borrow will be pay with interest i promise you try as much as possible and borrow for your journey made.Is good as you let him know the amount that is involves.

I agree with you to pay him back with interest,May God keep you in good health so that both will met for our endeavor.I wait you very urgently to hear from your response.


Herrel Foggs

June 28, 2006

Dear Nasiha Jameel,

I am glad you are agreeable; otherwise I would not be able to make the trip.

Your proposal to have my lawyer represent me is a good idea. Should I not be able to travel myself because of poor health, I will ask my lawyer do the traveling for me.

If you have any photographs of Foggs family members, I am anxious to see them.

I will get in contact with Mr. Lenner and let him know the good news.


Barry Lenner

June 29, 2006
TO: Mrs. Nastyha Ram Eel Foggs
FROM: Bernard "Barry" Lenner
RE: This business of Herrel's.

Mrs. Nastyha,

Greetings, madam. I generally shun Muslims since that incident in New York some years back, but then my friend and business partner of many years' standing, Mr. Herrel Foggs, found the true damned faith or some such nonsense. He went to some Muslim tent revival, and they healed his sciatica. Now he says he's got some jambo-jambo Johnny native cousins off in Unga Bunga Land and you're one of them. Pleased to meet you.

Madam, I stand at the ready to assist my old friend Herrel, but I have some questions before we begin.

1) Madam, for modalities of this sort, 10% of $9.5 million is laughable. I would suggest negotiations begin on Herrel's part at 50%, and then you can Jew him down later.

2) I will lend Herrel any money that he needs, but since the damned dingoes ate his cat, he's been a wreck. I'd better come along with him. Be so good as to make travel arrangements immediately, and book us into the best suite in the best hotel in Ooga Booga town. Preferably goat-free, and see if you can't get us a chambermaid who specializes in happy endings.

3) What sort of game birds do you have off in Inka Dinka Doo Land?

Respond immediately.


P.S. Herrel, old man, I recently caught sight of the rare Limpwristed Shrieking Fairybird in the North Forty the other day. Not much meat, but tasty as the devil. Can you make it here before dusk tomorrow? Bring the Magnum. Pesky devil tried to make off with my tie tack.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner
President and CEO
Lenner Plumbing Supplies Warehouses, Intl., Inc.
14 Coxwank Industrial Park
Waukepetonsett, IA 50392

Phone/Fax: 206.xxx.xxxx

Herrel Foggs

June 30, 2006

Nasiha Jameel,

Please resend the information for the security company. I must have deleted it. I just getting back to being myself. Mr. Lenner would like to review the information. I keep telling him to leave it to me, but he won't hear of it.

I see you've met Mr. Lenner. He is very rude, but he has a heart of gold. Also, he cares about gold more than anything else. I'm a bit concerned since he is taking more than a passing interest in our transaction. It is all he talks about anymore. I am a bit worried. Do you have any suggestions? I am between a rock and a hard place with this since I desperately want to come to you and meet my family, but traveling with him... I don't know how I feel about that since he has the worst table manners in the world.

Concerned, but not deterred,

Lenner: I sent this following missive off to Miss. Jameel. Oh the bird hunting in Oogabooga Land will be divine. I can almost feel my teeth nibbling off the roasted flesh of the rib cage of an endangered African Tanned Bald Beaver Bird.

Herrel Foggs

Subject: Question
July 4, 2006

Dear Nasiha Jameel,

I am awaiting your direction.

I have been corresponding with someone named Hershel Foggs, who contacted me a little while ago. He lives in Africa as well. Apparently one of my relatives moved to Africa in 1921, thus why I have so many blood kin in your area.

Anyway, Barry is helping me put together a trip to see Hershel. Barry will be traveling with me, which I might add was your idea in a way. You suggested I have my lawyer travel in my place, and when I mentioned this to him, Mr. Lenner said it would be an even better idea if he traveled with me. He is quite anxious to do some bird hunting in Africa. Barry and I have hunted birds since way back.

In the mean time, I have been helping Hershel with some transactions here in the states. He sends me a check and I cash it and then wire over the money to him minus a 10% fee. It feels good to help my family.

I'm hoping we will be able to plan part of the trip to see you.

Please write back since if you don't I will not see you and also Mr. Lenner is very interested in the transaction you said you needed help with. I have copied Mr. Lenner on this letter.

Allah Hafiz

Herrel Foggs

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] TOGO, AFRICA
Thu, 06 Jul 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Question Your Urgent reply.

Dear Ferrel Foggs,

(note, she almost cracks the secret to Herrel's name here)

Thanks for your good response,how is your health and family,kindly extend my special greeting to your lovely friend.I hard all you said ,sorry for my late reply is do to some unavoidable circustand beyond my control,

I still thanking you for your effort to see the success of this transaction i belive we shall meet very soon in person to know more our self,

Please do not expose much of this transaction, since you i have explain to you our situation of coming to this place let every thing be confidential and i don't want much people involves into this business in other not to jeopardize this transaction or put me and my child into trouble because this is the only hope left with us.

As soon you receive this message start immediately you arrangement of coming down here .

How many of you is coming,My Lawyer will send an application to you which you will prepared and to security come for the release of the consignment on your behalf for you arrival,...Please I want an assurance from you when this money is received by you, you will not betrayal me and my son,I pray that Almighty God will guide us until we receive this fund in good mine and health God bless us.

Yours faithfully,

Herrel Foggs

July, 6 2006

Mrs. Nasiha,

I'll keep the information about our transaction btw me, you and Mr. Lenner. There is no reason Hershel Foggs needs to know about such a large financial deal.

Which airport in Africa should Mr. Lenner and I travel? Is Johannesburg, S. Africa near you? I've copied Mr. Lenner on this message so that he knows how important it is to your safety to keep the information about the money quiet and so he knows how serious you are about this business. He was beginning to think it was all a bunch of hog wash.

Herrel S. Foggs, MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, XYZ, PDQ

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] TOGO, AFRICA
Sat, 08 Jul 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Thanks for your assurance.

Dear Herrel Foggs,

Thanks for you mail and your assurance,I belive you are such a person that is capable to handle this transaction.Now I'm settled with my mined,

For the fact you are mine only hope accept God,the airport is in Lome Togo capital of Togo in West Africa, not Johannesburg, S.Africa.

I like the way you handle our transaction and by given a copied of this message to Mr. Lenner to know how important its for our safeness .

Have you received the application of claim through my Lawyer,as soon as you received it forward it to my view before sending it to security company for the approval of the release of the consignment to you as the next of kine.Please contact me all the time in other not to jeopardize this transaction.I wish you happy weekend with your lovely one.

Yours faithfully,

Herrel Foggs

TO: Barry Lenner
July 8, 2006
FW: Thanks for your assurance.


Please read the message below. And read all the other ones I have sent your way over the past 10 days.

I have her assurances. We must discover what kind of hunting can be done. I believe all the Cockless Ball Flayer and the Yellow Feathered Snatch Grouse are all wintering in S. Africa. She Lives in Togo. Can you believe that? W. Africa no less. Who could have guessed?

Your response time of late to these modalities has been worse than that of a syphilitic mongoloid who spends all day typing one sentence. Get with it Lenner, we have some birds to bag.


P.S. You should see this catalog of Princess Diana collectables I just got in the mail. I screamed like a little boy when I first saw what it was.

Herrel S. Foggs, MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, VIP, OU812

Received: from, TOGO, AFRICA
(Note: this is the exact same IP as the previous message from Nasiha Jameel Foggs, and our first message from Chris Lawson)

Christ Lawson

Mon, 10 Jul 2006
From: "Chris Lawson" <lawblaster@gawab.com>
Subject: Attention Mr Herrel Foggs






TEL/FAX: 00228 2223341

Name........... (Surname First Name (other name)Telephone
No............ Fax...............Postal

This form is to testify that I am a foreign partner to Late DR Jameel Foggs and the present beneficiary to his consignment deposited in your company with serial number 042587 and category D Classified of your security company terms.

This information herein is true to the best of my knowledge as follows:

NAME OF BENEFICIARY : ...............................
COMPANY'S NAME: ...............................
MAIDEN NAME:.....................
DATE OF BIRTH:...................

With the above information, I hereby agree and certify that I am the beneficiary to the deposited consignment to your company with the above mentioned serria numbers,i also seek for the release of the consignment to me through any Courier Diplomatic Agent to my address,i will take care of the delivery charges and pay off the outstanding bill such as domurrage charges of the consignment and i want an ecowas attorney from your company that can assist me authenticate my legal documents.








....sign/seal.... ....

Herrel Foggs

July 10, 2006

Dear Mr. Christ Lawson,

I have received your email. Please fax the official application to me, with the appropriate legal information and government seals of authenticity to my personal fax number: (206) xxx-xxxx.

Once I have received it and filled in the information you are requesting, I will need to mail you the application that includes my original signature. Where should I mail the document?

My fax number is also my phone number, so if you have any questions, please call me on my direct line at (206) 600-3182. I am not in the office very much, but I check messages regularly. I don't like surprises. Please keep me informed at all times.


Herrel Foggs

P.S. I am copying my partner in these matters on this message. I am the financial brains in this transaction, but Mr. Lenner is making the transaction possible with his liquid assets. I have kept Mrs. Jameel in the loop regarding Mr. Lenner's participation.

Herrel S. Foggs, MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, FFL

Barry Lenner

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2006

Mrs. Rameel Nastyha,

In the short time that I have been absent, I return to my email account and find that you have not accorded with a single one of my requests. I am deeply disappointed, Mrs. Nasty.

In the meantime, I see that you have cajoled my hapless partner, Mr. Foggs, into contacting your tribal chief, or whoever Mr. Christ Lawson is. This is beyond forgivable.

Madam, I am hereby calling a halt to these modalities until you have answered the questions.

1) We need to renegotiate the terms of this entire deal.
2) You will provide us with hotel accommodations in whatever the hell mudhut town you reside in. Have you done this? Of course not. See that it is done immediately, and fax a copy of the hotel reservation to me post haste.
3) You will provide us both with a list of the big game birds in your area.

From here on out, Mrs. Nasty, you will do nothing without my approval. You will copy me in on ALL correspondence, you will have this Christ Lawyer contact me immediately, and youi will comply with my demands immediately. Am I understood, Madam? You will not deign to wipe your hindquarters with a banana leaf until you ask me. And, you will wait for my approval to do so.

Your failure to comply with any of these conditions will indicate your forfeiture of these modalities. This native nincompoopery may fly in your country, madam, but I demand efficiency. Try and act halfway civilized.

Peace out,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Barry Lenner

To: lawblaster@gawab.com
Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2006


A pleasure to meet you, sir. I am Bernard Lenner, longtime friend and client of Mr. Foggs, and I shall be acting as his partner in these modalities.

As a short background, he has been contacted by a distant relative of his, some Ramfeel Nasty woman, and plans to split her family fortune with her. However, Mrs. Nasty has proven to be as useful as a cement life preserver, and I am almost at the end of my patience with her. However, I have confidence that you, sir, will serve us with the faithfulness of the loyal wildebeest, the honesty of the noble hippo, and the work ethic of the industrious baboon.

When you fax this application to Herrel, be so good as to fax it to me as well. I have no doubt it's the sort of useless busywork clogging the bureaucratic channels of your third world country, but native courtesy must be observed.

My regards to your wives.

Yours, Lenner.

P.S. Herrel, old man, you won't believe me when I tell you I saw a Chocolate Bungwarbler in full feather as I was out shooting cruddfowls the other day. I couldn't believe it. It winked its pink eye at me, blasted out its distinctive call, and flapped off. I was so surprised I forgot to plug it.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Herrel Foggs

Date: July 11, 2006

Mrs Nasiha,

I have contacted your lawyer and have asked him to fax over the documents. As soon as I get the documents, I will fill them out and fax them back to him. Or I can mail the documents via world express mail.

As you are aware, Mr. Lenner has mailed both you and your Lawyer, and as a result he has insulted me, you and your lawyer. He is a good man, but is also a racist, a blowhard and a closet homosexual. I warned you Mr. Lenner is rude, but he has the money we need to get your money. I beg you to please overlook his weakness. I only hope your lawyer isn't too angry. Please ask him not to be angry with me since I cannot control Mr. Lenner.

Below is the flight information for our travel to South Africa on August 1. Mr. Lenner and I are planning to spend the whole month of August in Africa. I haven't figured out how we are going to get from Johannesburg, South Africa to Togo yet. It appears there are no flights from Johannesburg to Lome, Togo either by jet or turboprop. Please let me know of your advice. Can we take a train? What should we do?

Date of Travel: Tue, Aug 1

Continental Airlines 2977
Continental Airlines

Depart: 7:25am
Arrive: 9:47am

Des Moines, IA (DSM)
Houston, TX (IAH)
2 stops

* Economy
* 2hr 22min
* Embraer RJ135-145
* View seats

Change planes. Time between flights: 8hr 53min

Continental Airlines 10
Continental Airlines

Depart: 6:40pm
Arrive: 11:05am

Houston, TX (IAH)
Paris, France (CDG)

* Economy
* 9hr 25min
* Boeing 777
* View seats

Change Airline. Time between flights: 12hr 10min

Air France 990
Air France

Depart: 11:15pm
Arrive: 9:40am

Paris, France (CDG)
Johannesburg, South Africa (JNB)

* Economy
* 10hr 25min
* Boeing 747
* View seats

Total duration: 43hr 15min

Mr. Lenner and I will spend at lease two weeks hunting endangered game birds in S. Africa before we make our trip to to see you in Togo. After we conclude our business, we would like to spend a day or two hunting in Togo, and then we will travel back to S Africa for our flight back home.

Also, please write Mr. Lenner a very short message and let him know that you and I have everything under control. You can email him the flight information that I provide in this message. I have already sent it to him this evening, but it can't hurt if you send it too. I have already purchased the tickets at the cost of $4058 with some of the money Mr. Lenner lent me. I will make all the travel arrangements and hotel arrangements in Lome, Togo. Please let me know of a hotel where I can book some rooms for us so that I can get Mr. Lenner off our backs. When I have everything complete, you can email him the details about the hotel and the travel from S. Africa to Togo and he will be happy and shut up.


P.S. My wife died two years ago. I don't have a lovely one anymore... But thank you for the kind wishes.

Barry Lenner

To: nasihajam@yahoo.com
Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2006

Mrs. Nasty Ramfeel,

Madam, I begin to lose all patience with you. You have not responded to any of my conditions, and in addition, your thoughtless, heartless, and insensitive reference to Mr. Foggs' "lovely one" is beyond rude.

For your information, Madam, Mrs. Foggs died last year of inflammatory bowel blockage syndrome (IBBS). It was a harrowing death, and extremely difficult for Mr. Foggs. The poor woman bravely hung on until the nearly 76 lbs. of unexpelled fecal matter went septic and killed her.

Mr. Foggs is now back in the hospital, with an attack of stress-related eczema brought on by your cruelty. He's weeping like a little girl, and so are the patches of irritated flesh on his arms, face, and chest. Now I have to take him bird-hunting again this weekend. It's the only activity that calms him down

Never, ever, EVER mention Mrs. Foggs, "your lovely one," or any other references to wives, lovers, or sweethearts to Mr. Foggs ever again. Is that clear?

Finally, madam, the renegotiation of the terms--the hotel accommodations--and the list of big game birds in your area. Now.

Yours, etc.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] [Server is in Amsterdam, The Netherlands]
Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Proceeding.

Cc: b.lenner

Sorry for my delay in responding to your messages .The reason is because I have been physcially down and my doctor had been administering some medications on me and told me this morning that I may be able to do some other things. May be you have never been in a situation like mine before but I must confess to you that it is very uneasy coping with the psycological effects.

I have noted also your flight schedule to South Africa and to Lome Togo. To come to Lome from South Africa, it may be difficult if not impossible to get a direct flight from south africa . For you to come to Togo from South africa, you should board South africa airline from South Africa to accra Ghana. Ghana is a neighbouring and closest country to Lome Togo. I will come with the lawyer and meet you in Accra and from Accra Ghana we all come with you to Lome togo by road which is about one and half hours drive ,this also give you the opportunity to see the physcial features since I guess you like natural situations. In this regards, you will give me and the lawyer your exact flight schedule to Accra Ghana from south africa so that I make sure that me and the lawyer come to receive you in Ghana .

Regarding your hotel,you will be in Espace belverly hotel. There are other hotels but this is the one i would prefer you stay.It is a nice place and you will like it while here. I will fax to you the reservation when I confirm your exact flight schedule. This is to enable the lawyer know your exact arrival as to determine the date and how many days of reservation.

Regarding your hunting while here, there are big bushes and forest where I will send you along with the lawyer as your company there you may hunt , but please do not come with gun for the bird hunting as this may be suspecious,but when here, I will give you our local instruments use for huntings.

Have you heard from the lawyer? Importantly , have you been able to send the application to the bank as directed you by the lawyer,if you have not done this please try and do it as a matter of importance.

Regarding the term of this transaction, It may please me that we shear the funds as earlier agreed . We may however accept ammendments where and if necessary

Waiting to hear from you.
Mrs Nasiha.

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] [Server is in Amsterdam, The Netherlands]
Wed, 12 Jul 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>

Dear Herrel Foggs,

I understood your advice regarding Mr Lenner. I have also spoken with the lawyer in this issue hence we shall be patient with him .Thank you much for this .
Just as we have done now , onwardly we MUST be copying you all correspondences and would consider your directives .
Please try to be reaching the lawyer any time you need. His number is +2289215855. His name is Christ Lawson.

Mrs Nasiha,

Barry Lenner

To: nasihajam@yahoo.com
Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2006

Mrs. Nastyha,

Excellent, madam, you have redeemed yourself. I am highly impressed at the professionalism that you have exhibited. The Espace Belverly sounds delightful, and I hope they employ limber chambermaids. What in the world had you in hospital? Are you ill, Madam? Is it contagious?

I am somewhat dismayed, however, at the prohibition against our own fowling-pieces. Herrel is partial to his Winchester Parker 28-gauge .410 bore, and I am simply lost without my Beretta Giubileo S06 EELL Sporting 12-calibre. Surely the grubby palms of your native customs men can be greased. In any case, it should be obvious even to the most primitive of tribesmen that these fine implements are meant for birding, and not to overthrow your rickety governments. When you say "local instruments," i can only pray you don't mean bows and arrows. We prefer guns, or thundersticks, if that helps you understand the concept. At any rate, I eagerly anticipate the hunting. I am pleased to hear about your big bush. I do love to get myself deep into a big bush.

After a generous slathering of topical cream on the affected areas, Herrel is out of the hospital, and we are anxious to pursue these modalities. I've contacted Christ Lawson, but have heard nothing back. What else do you need from us in order to keep these modalities moving?

Yours, etc.
Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] Somewhere near FRANKFURT AM MAIN, GERMANY
Thu, 13 Jul 2006
From: Nasiha Jameel <nasihajam@yahoo.com>
To: Bernard Lenner, Herrel Foggs


I am pleased with your efforts .
Regarding your bird hunting ,you may come with any thing you need , we have our tentacle here for your protection.
The lawyer told me he called your number but it went to voice mail after which fax , I personaly tried your number again and noticed same.
The Lawyer adviced on oral conversation as it willnot be wise to put allin writing for security reasons. In this regards, We need that you please call the Lawyer on his telephone numbers +2289215855 as your phones keep entering voice message and fax .

We await hearing fromyou.
Mrs. Nasiha.

Christ Lawson

Received: from Back to TOGO, AFRICA
Thu, 13 Jul 2006
From: "Chris Lawson" <lawblaster@gawab.com>
To: "Herrel Foggs"

Attention Herrel Foggs:


I called you severally but your phone went into answer mode afterwhich it further got into fax.

Could you please follow my directives by first filling the forms / application I sent to you and send it to the security company's email address as I directed you. This is an important procedure which we MUST have to follow to achieve success in this transaction.

As you fill the spaces in the application , you should send it to the email address or by fax not post office box;this is the procedure.

Since I am not able to reach you directly , could you please call me on phone no+2289215855. so that we could have some oral discussion,this is important .

Assuring you success int his transaction I await hearing from you.
Best regards,
Christ Lawson.

Herrel Foggs

July 13, 2006

Mr. Lawson,

I am a working man. I don't spend all day chained to my telephone. I have clients all over the Midwest and on the East Coast. I spend as much time in the airplane as I do on the ground. If I am near the phone, I tend to answer it, however if I am not at the office it is impossible for me to answer it. Furthermore, I was just released out of the hospital late yesterday. I was only in for a day, but it was very inconvenient for me to be in the hospital.

It is also very inconvenient for me to get your message. For god's sake, if you called, why didn't you leave a message? Why do you say you've called but I have no record of it on my caller ID?

I already told you that I will not send sensitive private information over the internet in the form of an email. What am I going to do if some criminal intercepts my email message to you containing all that sensitive data you requested and uses that information to take everything I have? Furthermore, a while back Nahisa sent me official documents regarding this business and I was impressed and convinced this deal was real. Your so called official form looks like you typed it up from your imagination.

So either get that roll of fax paper out of your ass and send me the official paperwork or come up with some other idea of how I will send you sensitive data that DOES NOT USE THE INTERNET.

Frankly, I don't want to do business with a lawyer who can't afford a fax machine. I will be advising Mrs. Nasiha that she consider the same. She will be a very wealthy woman in a very short time and she doesn't need hangers-on like you...

I am copying Mr. Lenner and Mrs. Nasiha on this message. This situation is completely absurd. In all my years, I've never heard of anything like it.


Herrel Foggs

P.S. Barry, if you read this message, we should think about spending all of August in S. Africa and request Nahisa Jameel and her faxless lawyer come visit us. What do you think? Mrs. Nahisa's description of what it will take to travel to her home sounds quite taxing and her lawyer isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Besides, the Repulsive Pink Enflamed Sperm Garbler winters in S Africa in great numbers, in fact I've heard the entire flock of 400 is down there in August. We could do some real damage and maybe even send these little critters over the edge toward extinction.

P.P.S. Barry, I've recently heard from the airlines we will be using and a customs agent for South Africa. All we need to do is package our hunting implements and ship them in advance. I'm sure Hershel will be more than happy to receive these for us. This way, I don't have to be without my favorite gun and you don't either. August 1st is only 18 days away and we need to ship the guns by Saturday, July 15 (two days from now) if we want to have them waiting for us.

P.P.P.S. I will be out of town all next week visiting clients and hunting a rare previously thought to be extinct woodpecker in the forests of Arkansas. Arkansas is about as backwards of a place as a lawyer who doesn't know how to use a fax machine, so I will be almost completely out of touch. I won't be checking messages or around to receive a fax. If you somehow discover how to work your fax machine, I'd advise faxing the paperwork to Mr. Lenner in that I won't have time to deal with such details until I get back. This will speed up the process. Sorry to stick this with you Barry, but I have no choice, we have to have all these annoying business details wrapped up soon.

Herrel S. Foggs, MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, FON

Herrel Foggs

Subject: I am worried
July 13, 2006


I say this to you only because you in a way are a member of my family: this business is becoming very annoying and tiring. If you called why didn't you leave a message? When I am near the phone, I answer the phone. I have my voice mail so that when I am not near the phone people can leave me a message.

I'm up to my ass in alligators with my business, I had yet another day in the hospital for this damned shingles disease, I'm getting ready to go away for a week to Arkansas, the kitchen grease at the Al-Asr Muslim Center in Chicago caught on fire, closing the whole place down because of smoke damage so my monthly trip to worship and be with my brothers had to be cancelled. Mr. Lenner is constantly making fun of my clothes and my heritage.

And then, you tell me you can't put things in writing for security reasons, yet you want me to put sensitive private information into an email and send it over the internet where if it was intercepted by a criminal they could take everything that I have?

How much more can a man take?

I didn't get into this business to get rich, I got into it to meet you and your son. All this other stuff is getting me down.



Barry Lenner

To: lawblaster@gawab.com
Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006

Christ Almighty, Christ,

I do understand that you operate out of a third world country, and you probably think your primitive tribal gods are driving modalities, but I assure you they are not.

I attempted to call your number, but the first time I tried, I got some Johnny native chap who didn't speak English--the second time the damn thing rang for a good half hour with no one picking it up. What the hell kind of technology have you down there in Ungo Bungo land? Every maribou stork in Africa must be roosting on the transformers and befouling them. Lucky for you Herrel and I are on our way over there to shoot a few of them.

Furthermore, Christ, I am at a loss to understand why I must fill out the application. Precisely what am I applying for?

Yours in Christ, Christ,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Barry Lenner

To: nasihajam@yahoo.com
Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006

Mrs. Jambo,

Why did neither you nor the lawyer leave a message? If you don't leave me a message, how am I to know that you called? Call it again. As I mentioned to your lawyer--whose performance thus far is more pathetic than watching a baboon at a spelling bee--I have attempted to call him several times. In no instance was I able to get through.

Furthermore, this singularly useless implement of a tool masquerading as a legal professional mentioned an application which, apparently, I must fill out. I don't understand why, but well and good. However, the document that he faxed to me this morning is not an application. It is some native gobbledygook about ECOWAS and settling of foreign accounts. There is nothing to fill out.

Madam, please believe me when I say I have your best interests at heart, but it is this kind of jibber jabber that keeps wealthy western businessmen like myself from investing in Africa. I would suggest you clean up your act and start acting like the Chinese.

In the meantime, Herrel's off merrily blasting away at ivory-billed woodpeckers in Arkansas. All further correspondence for the next week needs to come to me.

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Barry Lenner

To: nasihajam@yahoo.com, lawblaster@gawab.com
Subject: Modalities.
Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2006

Mrs. Nasty and Solicitor Christ,

Precisely what in the hell is going on over there? It has been the better part of a week since I've heard from either of you. Frankly, I'm disappointed.

If this is the best that Africa has to offer, no wonder the damned continent is in the piss-poor shape it is. The way we left modalities, I was expecting an application of some sort. I haven't received it. I have received no telephone calls from either of you. In fact, there has been no contact.

If I don't hear from one or both of you within the next twelve hours, I can and will assume that this is all a cruel practical joke at the expense of my dear friend Mr. Foggs. He will be very disappointed, I can tell you that.

If this isn't all some prank, then why don't the two of you put down the native rotgut you're swilling, straighten your grass skirts, and do some work. It's been months to complete one simple modality.

Do it now, God damn both your worthless hides.

Lovingly in the name of Christ our Savior,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Herrel Foggs

July 22, 2006

Dear Mrs. Nasiha,

Assalamu alaikum.

I'm back from my excursion. The bird I sought was not to be found. Reports of its existence, after years of people thinking it was extinct, are greatly exaggerated. I am deeply disappointed.

I did bag a fine assortment of Ivory Falicked Egrets, which is notable as I was able to do it with my second favorite rifle, since my favorite is in route to Johannesburg. It was mating season for the egrets so on many occasions I was able to shoot two birds at once, while they were engaged in 'romantic' relations. While this may sound cruel, I assure you, the locals there regard the birds as a nuisance animal because the in order to attract the attention of female egrets, male birds regularly whack their falicks against trees, but also against the roofs and sides of houses for hours on end creating a tremendous racket. The male falick on the Ivory Falicked Egret is about 3 feet long, is very boney and very heavy. I'm sure you can imagine the sound they make. There might still be 500 of the birds in existence, but I was able to reduce their numbers by 39 birds and stop some of them from creating additional birds.

I am disappointed that no progress has been made in regards to the financial dealings. As you know, Mr. Lenner is the 'money' in this transaction and I'm sure he is eager to conclude this business, so that we can enjoy our hunting trip to Africa. Barry, did you send over the information they requested? Were you able to get in contact via phone? Please fill me in on the progress.

Barry and I leave for S. Africa in 10 days, which doesn't give us much time.

We need to wrap up loose ends before we get on the plane, seeing as we will have limited access to phones and email once we are on the ground in Africa.

In addition to learning to read and speak Arabic, reconnecting with my long lost Muslim family is my fard, my obligation.

God is merciful, wise.

Herrel Foggs

Subject: Where are you?
July 26, 2006

Dear Mrs. Nasiha,

We leave in 7 days. Where are you? Are you OK? Please let me know what is going on. Of course I am wondering if you have left me and are going to leave me high and dry with no information, just like so many of the women in my life have left me.

But as a plea from my heart to you, I beg of you to consider two things: family loyalty and money. Both of these things are at stake. Have you found someone else to help you with your financial goals? Does that mean I will not get to meet you? Does not the fact that we are family matter nothing to you?

I have asked my long lost cousin Hershel Foggs in Johannesburg, South Africa, what your silence might mean. Don't worry, I didn't tell him your name or where we are planning on going. He just thinks we are going hunting further north. But I did ask him that if something like this was happening to him, what he would think, and he said that he thinks that only someone who does not have a good heart would do something like this... Please tell me that is not true of you!

If that is not enough, I have one final thing to offer. Hershel and I just conducted some business and I received a very big check from a company in England. He said he thought I might have some trouble getting it cashed, but seeing as I run a small financial firm, I was able to get the money no problem. This time around I got to keep 90% and he got 10%. So, I do not need Mr. Lenner's money anymore to help you. I have already paid him back for the cost of the airplane tickets. While he will still accompany me on my trip to Africa, he is not necessary for us to conclude our business together. Please call me and leave a message. Starting tomorrow, I'll be in Chicago up until Saturday - two days before I leave for Africa - helping clean up the kitchen-fire mess at the Al-Asr Muslim Center. But, I'll be checking messages as usual.

If I am just being a worrier, and you are just busy or have been away yourself, please forgive my insecurity and let me know the details of where I will finally get to meet you. Everything else stands.


Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] TOGO, AFRICA
Sat, 29 Jul 2006

Mr Herrel Foggs,

I received your mails but i could not understood all,I told you to send an application direct to security company did you done that, they will advise you on what to do, please if you can not send the application with good words stop, were about to contact another willing parttern from London, You stories sound not good it seams that you can cease this fund as soon as it get to you. And stop telling me stories about bairds. If you ready, i direct you to security compamy where the consignment is kept.

Mrs. Nasiha,

Herrel Foggs

Subject: Hotel in Johannesburg and other information
July 30, 2006

Mrs. Jameel,

I've noticed the friendly tone has gone out of your messages. No more stories about birds? Bird hunting is very important to me, and yet you mock me? And I thought Mr. Lenner was rude.

You accuse me of being the kind of person who would steal your money? I've told you all along that this was not about money for me, but about my fard. Maybe Mr. Lenner is correct and you are nothing but an uneducated savage running around with your breasts hanging out uncovered and flopping to your waist.

Mrs. Jameel, you seem very angry. And I have been nothing but polite to you. I have not sent the application to the security company because your lawyer never faxed the application. I told you I will not send sensitive information via the internet. How many times do I need to say it? The form that was faxed to Mr. Lenner was not an application, but rather a copy of the certificate you emailed me in June. I already have that certificate. And now you demand I complete something that was never sent to me? You ask the impossible.

We leave for Johannesburg the day after tomorrow. The Michelangelo Hotel in Johannesburg is where we will be staying for a week. After that we are off hunting for two weeks in the bush, and then we finish our trip at the end of August with a last week at The Michelangelo Hotel. Your chance to contact me is at the hotel. # Tel: (+27) 21 424 1037. I do not expect to take any business phone calls until August 3rd, since I will be very tired from traveling. You can get further information about the hotel at this website


I thank you, because it was your idea that I travel with Mr Lenner, and we are going to have a marvelous time hunting birds, in particular the flightless Hairy Clam Digger that lives on the coast of S. Africa. And, I might never put the trip together without your stories of how you and I are related. Now I will get to see Hershel.

With hope that I will see you soon,


Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] Back to GERMANY

Date: Thu, 3 Aug 2006
Subject: Urgent reply.

Dear Herrel S. Foggs,

I received your message with good words,but the only thing is these you are put me into fears with your friend which you invloves into this transaction and a stories of bird and hunting all about, yes Mr lenner most be rude.I did not accouse you,.Please are you a hunter what type of hunter kindly clear me, I need you help together with my son.

This is your comment Mr. Lenner is correct and you are nothing but a uneducated savage running around with your breasts hanging out uncovered and flopping to your waist.While are you insulting me all this comment makes me fill angry,you are not my polite.

please for God sake if you are intrested in help me in this transaction forget stories about the bird and rest let face our business,and let us work togther as friend's.Any moment from now the application will be fax to you..I like a man of his word by not sending your information through computer.please are you in sourth Africa now inform me as soon as possible.

Since you still hold on the certificate there no problem we will contiune from were we stop i will send you the taxt of an application between now and tommorow through email then you have to print it and fill it and send.

Yours faithfully,
Nasiha Jameel .

Mrs. Nasiha Jameel

Received: from [] Near FRANKFURT AM MAIN, GERMANY
Date: Thu, 3 Aug 2006

Please send me your corrent telephone number and fax immediately.I wait to your response.

please reconfirm this numbers Tel: (+27) 21 424 1037. 206) or Phone/Fax: 206.222.2767 Telephone number 600-3182,I do not expect to take any business phone calls until August 3rd..Do i free to call you now as case may be.


Barry Lenner

To: nasihajam@yahoo.com
Subject: To Mrs. Ramfeel Nastyha
Date: Thu, 03 Aug 2006

Mrs. Jamfeel,

You and that imbecile Christ Lawson have bungled, mishandled, and generally fiddlefucked this entire affair beyond repair. Thus far, you have done precisely nothing of what I politely requested throughout the course of these modalities, but this hotel business is the living end. I ask for you to arrange our lodgings.

They weren't.

Madam, we are now at the hotel in Johannesburg. There was no cab at the airport, no reservation at the hotel, and no list of hunting locations. There was also no barrister, no money, and no message from you. And now we are stuck in this backwards, stinking, primitive, stinking, dirt-poor, stinking hotel wondering what in the name of Christ and all the saints we're supposed to do next. I didn't think anyone could foul this up worse than Herrel, but you managed.

Madam, you will send a car for us directly to pick us up at eleven sharp to drive us to Togo so that we can complete this whole sorry business. When I see you, consider yourself lucky if I don't kick you right in your hindquarters. I wish to conclude modalities and leave this pissbucket as soon as possible. Eleven o'clock sharp, Madam, and call us at the hotel.

Fondest regards,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Barry Lenner

Subject: One more item of business
Date: Thu, 03 Aug 2006

Mrs. Clamfeel,

When the driver picks us up tomorrow, make sure he has with him some information about African game birds. I am particularly interested in these specimens:

1) The pink-shafted bobbing bustard.
2) The purple-crowned willypecker.
3) Von Trauzerschneick's Lesser Throbknobber
4) The Fisheating Snakenecked watercock

You will, madam, ascertain immediately whether these particular birds can be hunted on the trip from the Michelangelo in Johannesburg to Togo. Grasping my piece firmly and plugging away at some native bird will be just the stress-reliever I need.

How far a drive is it from Johannesburg to Togo, anyhow? About two or three hours, depending on the sobriety of the driver?

In faith and friendship,

Bernard "Barry" Lenner

Herrel Foggs

August 04, 2006

My Dear Dear Mrs. Jameel,

I am hoping you are well as you receive this email from me. I have something of utmost importance to communicate with you.

You and all the dirty mugu 419 scam artists who are pretending to be Nasiha Jameel -- you are all complete and total fools. How many of you are there? Four? Five? And, to whoever is writing those message from the cafe in Togo who is both Mrs. Jameel and the idiot lawyer Chris Lawson, you are by far the funniest of the bunch. You should come to America and consider a career in stand up comedy.

Oh! I laughed hysterically when you sent that message that indicated you thought there might be a chance that Mr. Lenner and I were actually in Africa. How many times did you call the hotel asking for Mr. Foggs and Mr. Lenner. Only you know, but I'd bet a live donkey that you called at least once.

And when you complained about our non-stop-talk about hunting birds, I howled with delight. Of course not a single bird we said we hunted actually exists, except of course the Ivory Falicked Egret.

[Uh, maybe.]

I'm sure all of you are probably men, which makes me wonder what kind of men you are, since you tuck your manhood between your legs [where else?] and pretend to be a woman as you write your pathetic email messages from your cafes in Egypt, Germany, Togo and god knows where else.

I want to thank you for providing Mr. Lenner and I two whole months of entertainment. I do hope those minutes logged in at the cafe and phone calls and faxes you put in to us cost you a few of your precious dollars.

[Quite possibly the scammer's oga (boss) owns the cafe, and many many big cars.]

We will be reporting your email address to abuse at YAHOO and to the FBI because though you provided us with many evenings of roaring laughter, in the end you were trying to steal and maybe worse, and that my friends is just plain old wrong.

May you die with a thousand worms in your collective buttholes. Consider your rectitude firmly probitied.

Thank you,

Herrel Foggs.