ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN VOICE


An Eliza Dane adventure!

"What you mean by TOTAL assholes....?"

It started as a basic scambait, but drifted into discussions on immigration, crime fiction, and situational ethics, before ending in insults, threats, and hints of terrorism, bloody revenge and violent death...

The Scammers.
Petterson Zema, "the only surviving son of MR fredrick Zema a diamond dealer from KENEMA in Sierra Leone"
Nicolas Kouassi, a barrister located in Dakar, Senegal

The Baiter
Eliza Dane, a photomodel living in Sydney; an Odin-worshipper with a foul mouth
Ross Dane, Eliza's brother; a serving soldier in the elite Special Air Services Regiment; very protective of his kid sister.
AJ - Eliza's photographer boyfriend
Odin, Freyja - deities in the Norse pantheon, invoked by Eliza

And in a special role, Western Union, or more precisely its bastard offspring, courtesy of 419 Eater's Scrooge McDuck.

And stepping up, we have...


Petterson Zema
14 September 2006

Good Day
Greetings!
I would like to apply through this medium for your co-operation and to secure an opportunity to invest and do joint business with you in your country ,i feel confident therefore to introduce myself and this offer to you based on this problem of war in my country. I have a substantial capital i honourably intend to invest in your country into a very lucrative business venture of which you are to advise and execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us.
I will make my proposal well known if I am given the opportunity I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you. Well my name is Petterson Zema the only surviving son of MR fredrick Zema a diamond dealer from KENEMA in Sierra Leone .My father is now late he died some months back during the last and current crisis in my country Sierra Leone .He was Killed by the rebels for refusing to join and sponsor them.
The main reason why I am contacting you now is to seek your assistance in the area of my future investment and also for a help hand over some huge amount of money he left behind. This money 4.8million dollars is deposited in a security and trust company in Dakar Senegal for safe keeping some years ago by my father and he made me the sole beneficiary .I am now asking you to stand on my behalf to claim the deposit from the security company and assist me on investing it as well in your country.
I have made up my mind to offer you 25% of the total sum and also map out 5% for any expenses that will be made during the transaction while the remaining will go into investment and my use. As I have mention earlier I will make the procedure to this issue to be well known to you if I am given the opportunity to do so in my next message .Pls attach your direct and full information as you reply to this mail also include your personal contact phone number for more easy communication.
Thanks and remain bless
Petterson Zema
No surprises here; except it's a diamond orphan rather than cocoa.
Eliza's on the case - and starts by spelling his name wrong.
Eliza Dane
Mr Zena,
Was I supposed to get this?
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Hmm... it's contagious!
Petterson Zema
16 September 2006

Hello Eliza,
Yes i need your help because the situation i find myself is very bad because of the problems the greedy politician cause. I need your help to start a new life in your country,i need your help to secure the money safely so we have alot to do together provided you will not cheat me or ran away with the money because this is my fear, if you assure me that all will be well and you will help me with open mind then we will proceed with the arrangement. let me know more about yourself.
I wait your reply
Regards
Zena
DIMIA - Department of Immigration, Multiculturalism, and Indigenous Affairs.
I attached a picture of Sophie Monk looking delectable on a beach.
Eliza Dane
Mr Zena,
I'm willing to help you as much as I can, though I can't promise that you can get into Australia - DIMIA writes its own rules.
I can promise you too that I'm not going to run away with your money - $1.2 million is still a lot of cash. But, before we go any further, let's look at some issues.
One is, you want me to stand for you in recovering your dad's cash. How does this work? From what I can see, in every possible way I am not you. How does this work?
Just so you know - I'm a photomodel, 23 as of last month, living happily in Sydney with four other models; my boyfriend AJ (not live-in) is my photographer. Here's a pic, my favourite from a shoot in Queensland in July.
Back to you.
Eliza Dane

He likes the photo... ah, that's good; it should keep him focussed.
Just a thought - why would a photomodel, however beautiful, be automatically acceptable as a foreign partner? I guess it's just that way in the Muguverse.
Petterson Zema
18 September 2006

Hello Eliza,
I am happy to receive and read you mail and i must say here that your words has given me some confidence to work with you as my foriegn partner in this project. Thank you for your beautiful photo, you look pretty nice in there,i hope to send you my photo as soon as i get a place to scan it. My coming to Australia will not be any problem because i have made arrangment on that through one ambasador for mutiple visa the only thing it will cost me some money but that won't be any problem when we retrieve the cash from the security and trust company, down here in Senegal. traveling abroad is easy once you have your cash so don't bother yourself about my visa, i will get it at the appropriate time.
Coming to your questions,how the business will work is this:
Because of my status here as a refugee the laws of Senegal does not permit me to handle any sort of business transaction , for this reason i will introduce you to the trust company as my foreign partner and family friend whom i have mandated to receive the safe deposit. I have discussed this issue with the manager of the trust company so all they need is for you to file an application for claim to their office for the process of the deposit, after the application is submitted they will now issue you a CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY FORM which you will fill as my appointed agent and new beneficiary to enable them officially process and release the deposit to you as my foreign. So all that is needed is for me to forward an authorization letter to the trust company introducing you as my foreign partner, after this an application letter will be submitted , after the application letter the trust company will issue you a change of beneficiary form to change the beneficiary from my name to your name. After the trust company effect the necessary changes to your name, they will process the deposit for shipment to your place through a security diplomatic courier system, you will get to know more about when the time for it come, we will not transfer the money from here to Australia because of some many logistics with local banks here because african banking system is very poor also alot of eyes will be on the money if we should take it to the bank which is not good for us because terrorist problems around the world so the best way to move the cash out of this place to Australia is through security diplomatic system which is very safe and secure way of transporting confidential valuables from one country to another, don't worry you will know more about this when we get to it.
I want you to call me on this number as soon as you receive this mail for confirmation, you can get me on this number:+221-578.84.48. I also would like to have your mobile number so we can communicate each other because communication is very important in this business Please remember to conceal this matter to yourself because you can not tell the mind of the next person to you, this is to proctect our life from bad people because someone may here that we have such money and plan evil against us or even try to kill to take the money so please it will be very safe for is to keet every thing we do secret. Down here in senegal i didn't tell an ybody about it and nobody will ever know until we finish the business and travel out of here. I wait your phone call and reply. please note that the country code for Senegal is 221, their is no city or area code, all need do is just dial the country code follow by the 7 digit numbers to get me on phone.
Regards
Zena
The 'Alvarez case' refers to a genuine scandal that came to light in 2005 - details below.
Eliza Dane
Mr Zena - or Petterson -
I wouldn't be too sure about coming to Oz, DIMIA can be assholes, and if you'd ever read about the Alvarez case, TOTAL assholes...
OK - I'm your "foreign partner and family friend" - Holy Odin, I can see a few nudge nudge, wink wink comments there - will anyone believe it? As long as you know what you're doing...
Final note - you said that I have to keep this private, yes? Well, that's why I can't call you. It's a sure bet that someone would overhear - we live pretty much in each other's pockets in this house. No way to get around that, believe you me!
Keep me posted.
Eliza Dane
This is not the first time that Petterson will have trouble with Eliza's language - though this is pretty mild...
He's full of helpful suggestions about telephones too, but all his ideas will of course come to nothing.
Petterson Zema
19 September 2006

Eliza
i don't understand some points in your mail; the first paragraph in your mail is confusing so i need more explanation on what you mean by TOTAL assholes....?
about you been my foreign partner, that is the way the business will work, i have the right to deligate any person i choose since i can not handle the transaction on my own as a refugee person here, all that is required is what i already told you in my last mail. I proposed this transaction to you, i am here with the trust company so whatever information i give to you is authentic. As the manager of the trust company informed me this morning that they require a legal power of attorney to recognise you as my appointed agent , i was able to get a good attorney this morning please contact the attorney as soon as you receive this mail for him to issue you the legal document that will empower to you contact the trust company:
Barrister Nicolas Kouassi
Azeez Chambers
78 ave lamine gueye
Dakar-Senegal
Contact phone :+221-669 18 40
I said you have to keep this matter private but that doesn't mean we should not communicate on phone, you have some phone shops there, you can call me from your mobile phone, i can also call you on your mobile phone, if you have house phone you know the best time to make your call or the best time i should call you, you should make out time for phone calls if you desire to do so because everything we do depends on our seriouness.
Please contact the attorney immediately so he can issue you the power of attorney for us to proceed.
I wait your reply
Regards
Zema
The Alvarez case happened pretty much as I wrote it here.
BTW, only just before this bait began did Mrs Alvarez receive an official apology and compensation for her mistreatment.
Eliza Dane
Mr Zena,
Aagh... easy to forget that big stories here don't rate well (if at all) anywhere else...
OK then. Vivian Alvarez is a Filipina who took out Australian citizenship. About five years ago, after a split with her husband, she was found in Queensland, in distress, and locked up as a possible illegal immigrant.
Not long after that she was deported to the Philippines - mainly, IIRC, because one of the DIMIA guys concerned convinced himself that she was a sex-slave who wanted to go home. When I said "Total assholes" I was thinking of that shithead!
On the other matter - I have a mobile but it's rigged to a local-only setting; public phone boxes are few and far between; and what do you mean by "phone shops"?
Too, I can't predict when would be the right time to receive a call, or when I could make one.
So, you'd better send me this Kouassi dude's email address if you want me to get in touch...
Eliza Dane
Petterson Zema
22 September 2006

Dear Eliza,
I am happy to hear from you and i am pleased with your explanations. On my part i think i will not have any problem staying in Australia considering the investment we will set up when i arrive, my investment will serve as a gurantee for my stay so don't worry because all is well.
I am hapy to have you as my partner and we will share the joy together at the end. Am sorry i forgot to include the email Id of the lawyer, please contact him through this email:
azeez.chambers @justice.com . please contact the lawyer immediately so he can issue you the legal power of attorney that is required by the trust company to open communication with you as my foreign partner.
You can give me your mobile number so i can call you some time. I wish you a nice day and be happy because we will sime soon.
keep constant commincation please.
Greetings
Zema
Eliza Dane
Mr Zena,
I hope you're right... I'll contact the Koaussi guy right away.
"Share the joy", huh... I don't know anything about you. How old are you? What do you do when you're not in the office? And since I sent you a pic of me, how about you return the favour?
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
I was asked to contact you by Mr Petterson Zena. Has he told you about our business?
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Once he's this far off script his quality of English drops even further.
He "sees [me] as a sister..." don't they all...
He attaches a photo of a young man in a car - somewhere...
Petterson Zema
24 September 2006

Dear Eliza,
How are you today hope fine, i thank you for your mail . Coming to your questions , the main purpose that i am in Senegal is to arrange for the transfer of my inheritance out of this country because Senegal election is coming close and you don't really know what will happen next. Politics here is a game of death not as you have it there, elections usually bring problems and fightings but i beleive one day africa politics will improve to western standard for the leaders to understand why they are there, they are to serve the people and not to loot the economy and make people go hungry and homeless, well is a bitter tging discussing political situation down here. I have to tell you everthing because i see you as a sister.I want you to also see me as a brother to you then we will achieve our goal quickly.
At my free tome i listen to music, read some novels if i have some around me, go to beach and visit parks to see animals. I haven't had any pleasure since i came to senegal because i came here suddenly, i am just adjusting to the situation here until we finish the process, secure the money in your custody then i will start my normal life again, when you are face with so many problems at young age pleasures will fly away from you.
I am 25 years, i have attach a photo for you to see my, this photo was taken when things where going on well in Free town before the rebel crisis so i hope you will like the photo, i have a mother and two sistersbut my mother is in another region where they were kept under united nations refugee, i got a message from them yesterday that she is sick so am praying for her to get well soon, i need to take propare care of her abroad because she has suffered to horrible setback after the death of my father and some other family poblems which is a long story.



[Lads have used this photo before.]

We lost every property in my country but lets don't talk about it because i feel sad and cry each time i remember the ugly event that took place there. lets work like sister and brother then we will meet soon to smile together as family friend. Now is your turn to tell me more about your parents, family.
Please keep constant communication with the attorney so he will issue you the document on time because i want this deposit money to move out of this place as quickly as possible.
Thank you my sister and have a good evening.
Zema
I'm not quite sure why I made Ross a soldier with the SASR (Special Air Services Regiment, the elite Special Forces unit with the Australian Army) but it paid off later!
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
Reading your story makes me realise (again) how lucky I am. My life has been very peaceful and placid and this whole country is a very peaceful place (even in footy season). My parents are still alive and living in the country, as they always wanted, in "genteel rural retirement". I have a brother and a sister, both older - my brother Ross is serving in Afghanistan with the SASR, and my sister Sophie runs a pharmacy. As you can see, all is very pleasant, and I am so lucky to be alive when and where I am, and lucky to be blessed with beauty. Freya looked kindly on me the day I was born.
My boyfriend AJ is also my photographer. I'm lucky there too, because he's good at that as well as good-looking, and we have great sex!
I hope that you can share some of my luck now. Seems like you earned it!
Nothing from Mr Kouassi yet; I'll be in touch.
Eliza
"I can see you love sex?" Can I do something with that?
"]H]ardly Chase" - probably James Hadley Chase, a thriller writer from the 1930s and 1940s.
Petterson Zema
25 September 2006

Dear Eliza
Very happy to read your mail and pleased to share your happiness with you, i hope to be in such mode soon because life has been so rough due to bad events but is only a matter of time as hardly Chase wrote in one of his books. Do you read any? I am happy that every one around you is doing well. today i went to see my mother at the region ,she is getting better.I told them about you and they are happy and extend their greetings
I understood from your message that the lawyer has not replied you may be is because of weekend, am sure he will reply you tomorrow but still send him re minder because lawyers are busy people . I can see you love sex? am sorry if i enter your privacy anyway,as for me am not in the mode for until this money is secure and i see my family in a happy mode.
let me know as soon as the attorney issue you the document so i can direct you on how to contact the trust company.
be happy and write me as soon as possible.
Zema
A "wowser" is the Australian slang term for a puritan killjoy.
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
I'm happy you're happy!
Just clue me in - who's this Chase dude? Doesn't ring any bells...
Recreation-wise, I play squash and I'm learning karate (I hope to qualify for the yellow belt in a month or two). I also like history books (ancient and medieval mostly) and crime fiction (P. D. James and the Kinsey Milhone series are my favourites). Food-wise I have a craving for tira misu. Luckily I don't put on weight easily. Some people I know would kill for that. And yes, I do love sex. You're not going to tell me that you're agin it? It'd be a terrible thing if you were a wowser! I'll be in touch once the lawyer gets back.
Eliza
We have the lawyer at last!
Nicolas Kouassi
25 September 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
I acknowledge receipt of your email communication to us dated 22 Sept 2006

in respect to your financial transaction with Mr.petterson Zena. To facilitate the issuanace of a legal power of attorney by my chambers i would like you to fill the attached form and return same to us via email atachment. Further instruction shall be given to you on receipt of the form.
I remain at your service
Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
AZEEZ CHAMBERS LAW FIRM
SOLICITORS & ADVOCATES
78 AVE LAMINE GUEYE DAKAR-SENEGAL
DIRECT LINE:+221.669.1840
Petterson Zema
26 September 2006

Dear Eliza
Nice to hear from you,Chase is an old novel writer, his complete name is James Hardly Chase from either America or Britain. He wrote many interestings books dealing with different issues. Please keep in touch with the lawyer and update me.Am happy about your karate achievement and wish you luck on that.
be happy and be in good health.
Zema
Eliza Dane
Hi Petterson,
I remember now - I read some James Hadley Chase once - my Dad has a copy of "No Orchids For Miss Blandish". I thought it sucked. Oh well.
I have heard from the lawyer, I'm forwarding it to you right away.
Eliza
Petterson Zema
27 September 2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail and update from the lawyer, please go ahead and fill the form and send back to the lawyer so he can issue the legal document to you.
How you will fill the form is this, print the form out if you have not done that then fill the information that you can provide on each line but the one you don't have leave it blank or put NILL. On the box where they say you should state the type of service you require.................... what you should write inside the box is: POWER OF ATTORNEY. the document you neeed from the lawyer is power of attorney to empower you to contact the trust company as my legal foreign partner. The lawyer is a good person so he will issue you the document as soon as you fill the form and send back to them through email. Remember to sign the form and write date.
Let me know as soon as you obtain the document for us to forge ahead. Have a nice day and keep smilling always.
greetings from Zema
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
Gotcha - but I don't have a scanner, so I can't fill it out unless I use cut-and-paste.
Would that be OK?
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Nicolas Kouassi
27 September 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
I acknowledge receipt of your email communication and understood you have no scanner therefore go ahead and fill the form through cut-and-paste. Ensure you fix the right information to avoid any delay in issuance of the document in your name.
Be informed that our legal charges for issuance/legalization of a Power of attorney in your name is = US$480. As a matter of urgency you are advised to transfer the above fee through western union money transfer to the attention of: Mr Nicolas Kouassi.Send the western union transfer information to me for confirmation of your payment and issuance of the Power of attorney in your name. You should return the form with the transfer information.
I remain at your service
Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
The form's attached. Did you have to ask for my address twice?
Eliza Dane

Eliza Dane
I do have a reason to REALLY smile today - Ross is coming home from Afghanistan! We're going to hold a BIG party. No yellow ribbons though.
I've done the form, it all rests with Wyrd now.
Eliza
Western Union - so good he had to mention it twice...
Nicolas Kouassi
28 September 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
I acknowledge receipt of your attached form. In my message dated 27 Sept 2006

you were advised to effect transfer of our legal charge of US$480 to enable us issue and legalise the Power of attorney in your favour.
Be informed that the cost of issuing and legalization of the Power of attorney is US$480.00( Four hundred and eighty United state dollars only.
Quickly transfer this money to me through western union money transfer, send via email the transfer information for confirmation of your payment, below information should be used by you to effect the transfer through western union money transfer:
Receiver's Name: Nicolas Kouassi
Address: 78 Ave Lamine gueye
City: Dakar
Country: Senegal
I remain at your service
Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Just a little bit of stalling...
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
I did read about the demand for payment of $480. Payment in advance of results is not an option. Please let me know when the documents are ready.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
I suppose there's some logic to it...
Nicolas Kouassi
28 September 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
For an attorney or law firm to render any legal service to a client, the client is obliged to pay the legal charges of the attorney. This is the ethics of law profession except in special circumstance where the client has a retainership with such attorney. In your case i was contacted to prepare / legalise a document which require court notarization and such service can ot be done without the client paying for the service. I am sure law practice is every country is almost the same, if i'm your personal or family attorney then is a different point.
Lawyer do not finance services of client here in Senegal,the money you were asked to pay will enable me prepare the document and have it stamp and legalise in court.
Upon receipt of your payment i will prepare the document, have it legalised in court, pay necessary stamp duty. This will take me two business days and the document will thereafter be send to you via email attachment.
I remain at your service Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Eliza yields rather quickly - but not without my standard request...
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
Point taken.
Send me an invoice and I'll see to it.
Regards
Eliza Dane
He sent an invoice pretty promptly. The email was lost but the invoice survives.

Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
Is something wrong with your scanner?
All I got was the heading, nothing else.
Eliza Dane
He won't be so glad about Ross' return soon...
So, his mother is sick... setting me up for an early demand for cash?
Petterson Zema
30 September 2006

Dear Eliza,
oh great! i like to hear such good news because is not easy, is really a big celebration because to be a soldier and still be alive in such terror zone where there is little or no value for human life is worth celebration. How long did he stay there and how old is he? how about his rank? he is a soldier,naval officier or air force? hope am not asking much questions.
I will be going to see my mother this weekend to know her health situation, i hope she is getting better base on last news i heard. Remember to let me know once the attorney issue you the document for us to conclude our transaction.
I wish you a nice day and happy celebration
Regards,
Zema
Nicolas Kouassi
30 September 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
I just saw your message through my lab top. My scanner is in perfect condition. I re attach the document again for your attention. Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq

.....................................................
THIS MAIL TRANSMISSION AND ITS CONTENTS IS INTENDED ONLY FOR THE USE OF THE ADDRESSEE AND MAY CONTAIN CONFIDENTIAL OR LEGALLY PRIVILEGED INFORMATION.IF YOU ARE NOT THE INTENDED RECIPIENT,YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED THAT ANY USE OR DISSEMINATION OF THIS COMMUNICATION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
What are the odds on this happening again? Well... about 100%. Damned dodgy servers!
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
It was incomplete again - cut off just below my name. I thought it might be my spam filters, but they wouldn't cut something off half-way.
I've tried Refresh, same result.
Have a word with your office IT, tell me what he comes up with.
Eliza Dane
Nicolas Kouassi
02 October 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
Find attach new invoice and I sincerely apologise once again for the mistake.
I remain at your service
Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
I shouldn't really have told you about Ross - the SASR is Special Forces, after all, and they don't like being talked about.
That said, I will say that he's a Lieutenant, and ten years older than me (he spoiled me something rotten when I was young - and he still calls me 'kid sister').
Let me know about your mum.
I can't give you much from the lawyer - something must be wrong with his scanner, but he ain't admitting to it!
Eliza
This part is edited to protect a certain modality. He attached the form, but suggested another way to get it to Eliza.
Of course, Eliza could see nothing...
His mother is getting sicker. How predictable was that?
Petterson Zema
02 October 2006

Dear Eliza,
Thank you for your mail, is good to hear from you.
I came back this afternoon and my mum is getting better but she needs to be taken abroad for propare treatment because the fmedical facility there is poor.
I received an attachment from the lawyer which am forwarding to you. I hope you can receive it now because the document is clear here.
I wait your news
Petterson
And on the other front, Nicolas Kouassi keeps up the pressure for cash.
Nicolas Kouassi
02 October 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
Your local associate Mr Zema informed me this morning that he has sent the invoice through the copy I forwarded to him few days ago. You are advised to effect the transfer as ealier directed to enable me prepare and notarize the Power of attorney.
Send the western union money transfer information for confirmation of your payment.
I remain at your service
Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
Well, I got it, and I have to say, it's got some things in it that are real head-scratchers.
Transportation fee $100 - what the Hel costs that much to transport? Miscellaneous fee $40 - what's this for? Please explain!
Eliza Dane
The Lad lawyer admits to needing money for bribes...
Boy is he going to get slapped for that!
Nicolas Kouassi
02 October 2006

Attn :Eliza Dane
Dear Client,
Sorry for mistake in the representation on the invoice, it was a typing error by my secretary. The place bearing transportation included our professional or service charge which should have appeared like this:
Transportation/ professional /service charge = $100
This is the correct format and i sincerely apologise for the ommission.
Miscellaneous fee $40 = Miscellaneous expenses means some minor spending during the execution of the transaction which include;email service bill, phone bills,tips to be given to the stamp duty commissioner for express service. All this fall to miscellaneous expenses.
I have tight schedule this week therefore i advise you to transfer the money immediately to enable me conclude your job within 2 days.
I remain at your service
Thank you and best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Petterson Zema
03 October 2006

Dear Eliza,
I hope you received the document, please contact the lawyer to conclude the arrangement because i want us to make success before the end of this week. I am worried about my family situation and that can only improve when the deposit is out from the trust company. Let me know once you finish with the lawyer for us to proceed with necessary application for withdrawal of the deposit.
I wait your news
Petterson
Eliza is cross about the bribe money. First to the lawyer...
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
"[T]ips to be given to the stamp duty commissioner for express service"?
That's what I call bribes. I'm not paying for that!
Eliza Dane
Then she lets fly to the Lad.
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
That fucker Kouassi actually included bribe money in his fucking invoice!
There is no way I'm paying for that. Can you imagine the hold it would give him over us?
Eliza Dane
The Lawyer Lad is getting tetchy.
Nicolas Kouassi
03 October 2006

Look, be it known to you that i am not here to exchange endless emails with you, if you are not paying for the miscellanous of $40 then transfer $440 simple. If i do not receive your transfer information in your next message i will call this matter off because i have no time for all this.
You have the right to give it any name you choose but let it be printed in your heart that the system of things here is not and can never be the same with yours. I'm a busy person to engage in un necessary arguements.
Comply by my instructions if you need my service.
Best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
Scrooge McDuck's WU modality comes into play.
Some details have been omitted.
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
FINE! Have it your way.
If you want to stay inside a corrupt system - one of the key reasons that Africa is being held back - well, I guess it's between you and your conscience.
I'm using the Western Union Secure Service option for sending the money.
Visit this site: www.xxxxxxxxx.com/. Once there, follow the prompts once you put the serial number in. The MTCN will be released to you.
The serial number is: 19585572470018476051-286149615847650025616747656555-880-13697565074-84-308.

Eliza Dane
Petterson supplies some Lad morality.
Petterson Zema
03 October 2006

Dear Eliza,
I can see you are angry from your mail, please calm yourself because everything we do in life go with understanding.
In my opinion i think is not wise for the lawyer to include it in his invoice may be is was just being open to us not to hide anything.
the only thing i see here is that people give bribes in some cases to receive quick service or attention which might be strange to you because is not so in your country. down here in african people take bribe to render service or they delay your job simply because you don't give bribes. major reasons for this is because government delay their salaries,sometime they don't pay them for three or two or even 4 months so all this give way for bribe in different government sector. imagine they use to owe teachers 4 or 5 months salary here and so many things like that so please don't blame the lawyer because is the bad system og government here that is why africa is a developing country, you can't compare here with your place where everything is easy. this is a place you see government owing the police salary for some months which is not normal so please over look all this and lets focus to whats ahead. i am tired of the way things are done here thats why i want to leave here as quickly as possible, power goes off here 4 times a day just imagine,please over look all this for us to progress becuse today is tuesday.let us make some progress this week.
my suggestion is for to comply with the lawyer instruction because is the suffering we are facing here, he is a good person to tell you that because i know many lawyers won't say it ,they will hide it and it doesn't take him nothing to hide it and come up with anothr excuses so understand all this points.
I wait your news.
Just be happy and we will make it and forget about africa and its problems.
Regards
Petterson
Eliza supplies a spirited counter-attack...
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
Your attitude is EXACTLY why just about every African country I can name is going to be dragged back into the shit for decades to come.
As long as you excuse corruption with the same old fucking bromide, "It's how it's always been done", nothing is going to get better because corruption seeps from the top down.
Ross explained how the Soviet Union fell apart mainly because everyone didn't give a rat's ass about anything and everyone had his price.
You know why it's better here? Because if someone gets caught taking kickbacks he gets fired or even goes to jail.
Too often in Africa people like that end up running the fucking country! Bokassa, Mobutu, you want a fucking list? People like that killed your father!
I arranged for the money to go to Kouassi, and I expect news from him soon.
Sorry about the rant, but I don't take back a fucking word of it.
Regards,
Eliza
Meanwhile, the Lawyer Lad is having no success with Western Union Secure Service...
Nicolas Kouassi
04 October 2006

have done that several times without success, the number run so fast that noone can get hold of it therefore i advise you to send the money in a normal western union transfer that is done all over the world. I receive foreign payments without filling any form moreover what you are sending is just $440 which requires no questions or protocol being that the amount is small. I have noway to confirm if the site you directed me is being operated by western union or not.
Two ways for you to transfer money through western union:
1. You can transfer money online provided the amount is belowUS$1000.00 ,when you visist western union site you will find steps 1 to 6 which is very simple.
It does not require any protocol because i usually receive foreign payments from clients and family friends abroad. After the sendig is completed on line you will receive a transfer receipt and money transfer control number.
2. Option two is you visit any western union local agent office nearest to you to fill the senders form and send the money. This is a simple task.
Please i will not fill any other online form to receive your money. Send the money the normal way and send me the following information:
Sender's name:
Amount:
City;
Country:
Test question:
Answer:MTCN
I await the above information from you to confirm your payment
Best Regards
Nicolas KOUASSI Esq
.
Big brother Ross enters the fray. First, the lawyer gets his marching orders.
Ross Dane
I'll keep it brief; BACK OFF. No-one tries to rip off my kid sister!
Ross Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
The money's still there. Why haven't you picked it up?
Eliza Dane
Meanwhile, Eliza is still cross...
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
That lawyer still hasn't collected the money!
For someone so fucking eager, he's gone cold all of a sudden. What the fuck is going on?
Eliza
All of a sudden Petterson doesn't like Eliza's language.
That's just too bad...
Petterson Zema
04 October 2006

Eliza,
why do you use this type of language,it doesn't sound responsible and i must let you know that i don't like it, if people over there are use fucking or fuck language is not the same here, is insult and abusive language here.
I called the lawyer this morning and he complain you and your brother insulted him that he has no time to reply such mail. why would you insult the lawyer?
please send the money to me and i will get the power of attorney done through another lawyer and deliver to you. i can't understand all this.
Petterson
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
If you're going to come to Australia, get used to hearing "abusive language". I say fuck a lot. It's just a way of making something stand out.
I haven't insulted the lawyer. I simply asked him why he hadn't picked the money up. If that's an insult, he's a fucking girlie-man! And as for my brother insulting him, what the fuck is he smoking? He's had fuck all to do with any of this.
Tell Kouassi that if he has any complaints to grow a pair and talk to me, not you.
Eliza
Now Ross targets Petterson.
Ross Dane
Pettersen Zeena
Two words: BACK OFF.
Stop trying to rip off my little sister. STOP RIGHT NOW.
She's too good a kid for some no-account creep like you.
Ross Dane
Petterson reacts with gratifying speed.
Petterson Zema to Ross Dane
05 October 2006

are you crazy who do you think you are talking to, are you mad?
GO TO HELL . i don't even know you and send me this shit
Ross Dane
No, I'm not crazy.
I'm looking after my little sister, who is a good and trusting soul.
You hurt her in any way and I will hurt you. Got that?
Ross Dane
Meanwhile, Eliza continues on, unknowing.
Eliza Dane
Mr Kouassi,
Why haven't you picked up the money?
Eliza Dane
I do believe that the Lad Lawyer just threatened Eliza... but with what, I have no idea. This is something I let pass; I'll leave it to the reader to judge.
Nicolas Kouassi
05 October 2006

Attn:Eliza Dane,
Be aware that i am not here to exchange endless emails with you as i informed earlier. Let it be clear to you that you are dealing with a 54 years old man with over 20 years in law practics therefore carry out my instruction or stop communication henceforth.
I will not fill any form to receive control number, is never done in western union transaction. There has never been any case where a receiver should fill a form to receive a MTCN.
Be warned of your communication to me to avoid legal action against you
Nicolas
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
That Kouassi dude still hasn't collected the money.
What sort of bullshit lawyer is he?
Another thing - take back what you said about Ross. He's an officer in the SASR, and he doesn't go around insulting people!
Eliza
Petterson gives vent to a lengthy, and gratifying, whinge.
Petterson Zema
06 October 2006

Eliza,
The lawyer said you didn't send him the transfer information so how do you want him to collect the money? he said he can not fill any form to receive control number by the way is abnormal for anyone to fill form to receive a control number. the sender of money receives control number after sending money so why is your very strange? I told you to snd the money to me but you didn't comment about that.
If you are serious then send the lawyer the transfer information or send the money to me then i deliver to the lawyer which ever way. You lawyer for your information is an elderly man so know how the type of message you write him. let this issue to take us a whole week. transfer of money is not a big task so i see no reason you hide transfer information if you sent the money. am getting tired of your delay and excuses because this is not the way to do business.
I expect your transfer information tomorrow when i open this box ,
Petterson
Eliza's reply is predictably profance.
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
What the fuck is going on?
If Kouassi told you I didn't send him the control number, he's a fucking liar. I sent him the serial code as required by the Xxxxxxxxx site, that's all he needed.
For fuck's sake, if he can't use a fucking computer, then how the fuck is it my fault?
And listen up, I've been polite to him, I haven't said a word out of place. I'm been honey-sweet, and you blame me for this?
Why are you always on his side? Why don't you cut me some slack instead of rushing to protect the old fart? What the fuck is he, your sugar daddy?
Anyway, gotta go, my brother's just sent me an SMS, and he wants me to call back right away.
You can tell that dickhead Kouassi that he can complain to me, not to you - you ain't his fucking messenger boy.
Eliza
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
Ross has been talking about you - a lot.
He tells me you're a con-man, a Nigerian 419 Scammer he called you.
Well?
Eliza
Is that a threat in there?
Petterson Zema to Eliza Dane
08 October 2006

i will never take any insult from your brother okay, whatever he tells you is your own buisness,it doesn't concern me. my transaction is real wheather you beleive it or not, tell him never to send me any more mail or i will show him because i have no business with him, i told you clearly from begining never to involve anybody so how come your brother come into our business? are you playing with me or not? am real and never tell me anything that will raise anger in any form, am a son of a wealthy man even if things are not going well i beleive it will change once the deposit is out.
And another one here?
Petterson Zema to Ross Dane
06 October 2006

you are a bastard,never in your entire life write me any more mail or i will show you. i have no business with you so never ,ever write me again.
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
I have to choose between you and my brother, and the choice is simple.
Ross has been my closest sibling since I can remember, and if he says you're a criminal, I believe him. He doesn't lie.
I'll give you this advice - what the fuck are you doing threatening Ross? You're in Senegal, how the fuck are you going to do anything to someone in Oz!
And even if you could, he's with the SAS! Do you know that that means?
Eliza
Ross Dane
Show me what, arsewipe?
You're trying to rip off my sister, so that makes it my business. I'm not going to let you.
It's as simple as that - so simple that even you, a snivelling little dirtbag bullshit artist, can understand it.
As threats go, this is much better; invoking September 11 is more than I could have hoped for. He's threatening an SAS guy as well; priceless!
And even as he threatens Ross - he demands money from Eliza; vintage stuff.
Petterson Zema
08 October 2006

Eliza,
I don't have to tell you how i will deal with your brother, when america first got treat from bin laden in 1997 when he said in cnn that only him will fight the whole of US,the american president then didn't understand him until september 2001.
When I strike your brother for his insult and offensive use of language he will fear people from that moment if het gets out of it, coming to our business,i told you everything from start and you agreed so you must pay the money for us to obtain power of attorney and finish this, i will have spent my money and other things to ensure you are my foreign partner so if you decide not to work with me any longer then you must refund me all this money,it amounts to 600$.
Time for a REALLY strong slap!
Eliza Dane
Petterson,
You fucking moron! Ross is a Special Air Services officer, you fuckwit! He'd squash you like a bug using just his little finger!
You threatened Ross and referred to Osama bin Laden and September 11. That could get you listed as a terrorist. The SAS is our counter-terrorist force. Ross killed something like twenty Taliban in his tour in Afghanistan. You fucking dickhead, there'll be a cell in Gitmo for you if I show him this! As for sending you money, go fuck yourself! You threatened my brother; you can buttfuck a goat and lick out its ass before I'll give you a fucking cent. Eliza
Ross Dane
Eliza just called me with what you said about me.
You just don't know when to quit, do you?
She's sending me all the messages that you sent. I'm going to make sure that you go on the Counter-Terrorist database. You threaten a CT operative, you get listed.
One other thing; I killed eighteen Taliban (not twenty). Three of them were close enough that I got their blood on my flak vest.
Think about that when you threaten me. It's like a rabbit threatening an eagle.
If you should find yourself black-bagged some time, don't blame anyone but yourself.
Well, not exactly the kind of parting line to make one quake with fear...
Petterson Zema
10 October 2006

Ok we will see, action speaks louder than voice.
Eliza Dane
You're a fucking wussbag aren't you?
You send the threats to me, not to Ross. But then you're too chicken to face a real man, even in cyberspace.
What are you going to do? Fly out here to get me? Get fucking real.
Your name's on a watch list now, you'll be picked up the moment you get off the plane, and it'll be next stop Gitmo.
Ross Dane
Eliza just rang me about your latest threat. I don't know what she told you, but listen to me and listen closely.
I don't normally warn terrorist suspects, but this is personal. You have been logged on to ASIO's CT database, and that will flow on to all other Western CT agencies. That means you are living on borrowed time now.
And our actions don't speak louder than words. You won't know we're there until we strike - and then it'll be too late for you. Think on that.
Should you be thinking of coming after Eliza, think again. I will find out if you're on the way; and I can get to you before anyone else.
Australia's a big country, and I know how to kill slowly. It's your choice; but when you threaten to harm me and mine, all bets are off.
Maybe somewhere in Senegal, a Lad still cowers in hiding, lest he find himself bound in chains for Guantanamo Bay...?