nigeria s in africe but germany s in europe

Transcript of an IM chat with a scammer.

Session Start (Yahoo! - captaindefenestrator:lucyatt27): Mon Jun 21 15:29:38 2004

lucyatt27: hi

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captaindefenestrator: Hello.

lucyatt27: ur back

captaindefenestrator: Yes I am. Hi.

lucyatt27: what took u sooooooooo log

captaindefenestrator: Going out and doing stuff.

lucyatt27: like

captaindefenestrator: Doctor's appointment, then coming back here and seeing what's on tv, then coming into the computer room and seeing your message, then responding. What's been going on with you?

captaindefenestrator: Well, ok. If you want to talk later, I'll let you be for now.

lucyatt27: i need urgent remedy to a tough solution at hand

captaindefenestrator: What's the situation?

lucyatt27: like i said tough

captaindefenestrator: So, why don't you tell me about it? First of all, captaindefenestrator: My name's Jim and I live in Seattle.

lucyatt27: need to know u ist

captaindefenestrator: I ist what?

lucyatt27: need somebody good to help my quest

captaindefenestrator: Try asking me the question and I'll see what I can do.

lucyatt27: ok

captaindefenestrator: Well, if you don't ask me the question soon, I'm going to go do something else/

lucyatt27: have a client, his dead

lucyatt27: but cant find his next of kin

lucyatt27: since 1yr

lucyatt27: need someone to front as one b4 d govt takes over his monet and properties

lucyatt27: he s from germany

captaindefenestrator: Not Nigeria?

lucyatt27: nop

lucyatt27: nigeria s in africe but germany s in europe

captaindefenestrator: Ah, ok.

lucyatt27: pls can u

captaindefenestrator: So, what kind of business are you in that you have clients that die?

lucyatt27: am an attoney to him

captaindefenestrator: What city is your office in? In fact, what is the name of your firm?

lucyatt27: my name is lucy kudirate

lucyatt27: am from bamako, mali

captaindefenestrator: Now, Mali's in the South Pacific, isn't it?

lucyatt27: my firm s lucy chambers am married and 33yrs

captaindefenestrator: I thought you were Lucy Kudirate. Who's Lucy Chambers? And where did you study law? Are you in Tort or Personal Injury or do you handle Negligence cases?

lucyatt27: mine

captaindefenestrator: You studied law in a mine? I would think it would be quite dark.

lucyatt27: a civil lawyer by prof

lucyatt27: i ve over 21 clients

lucyatt27: never had a dead one

lucyatt27: they all big jobs

lucyatt27: so i dont go for any

captaindefenestrator: naturally, the best course of action WOULD be to message random strangers over Yahoo. Ok. Well, I imagine for something as important as this, you'll need my bak records.

lucyatt27: u sound straight so can u help

captaindefenestrator: I can if your credentials check out. Are the Mandamus forms in order?

lucyatt27: they are

lucyatt27: its bout $750,000

captaindefenestrator: And you've cited the 1996 case of M. Bison vs Ryu to make the transfer go smoothly?

lucyatt27: u ll benefit too

captaindefenestrator: Oh, the things I do, I do with no thought of reward. Can't have a dead guy making all that money.

lucyatt27: d only problem here is gettih a next of kin

lucyatt27: he used to be a real estate contractor im my country

captaindefenestrator: Oh, yes. Now in America, proof of family is required for the legal paperwork. Fortunately, I happen to be a lawyer as well, so in order to make certain to avoid the situation of Kirk vs Khan, we're going to need a few essential items on my end.

lucyatt27: i ve everythin

captaindefenestrator: Firstly, your fax number will be essential, as the Bureau of Kin-Provage will need to send you some documents.

lucyatt27: he had an accident with his wife and 2 sons

lucyatt27: ok

lucyatt27: <ding>

captaindefenestrator: Hmm...well, in the case of the death of a whole family, we'll need the Mensrea Certificate stamped by both the reporting Constable and the Prime Minister. You have this form ready to fax?

lucyatt27: let ne have ur no but ull be his next of kin to d bank for me

lucyatt27: am tired of searchin

captaindefenestrator: Ok, so let's start things off with the naked pictures.

lucyatt27: let me have ur fax no

captaindefenestrator: If I'm to prove I'm his next of kin, I'll need naked pictures of his wife to prove familial closeness.

lucyatt27: dats no problem too

lucyatt27: thank yu so much ok

captaindefenestrator: Ok, now I said I'd fax you. Our receiving line need waxing, so I'll have to send you the forms from here today. What is your fax number?

lucyatt27: ill send everything

lucyatt27: just help

captaindefenestrator: Well, I should be the one making inquiries if I'm the next of kin.

lucyatt27: 2348033350744

captaindefenestrator: Hmm...bit of a problem here.

lucyatt27: we ll pay u just co operate

captaindefenestrator: I understand that, however, as you may recall I'm in Seattle, which is on the west coast of the US.

lucyatt27: its phone and fax

lucyatt27: but u disconnect phone to receive fax

lucyatt27: so am on phone

captaindefenestrator: I just asked my secretary and she's advised me that Indians have just stolen our phone and fax/ (It's one of those phone/fax units.) I'm afraid we're stuck until next Thursday, unless...

lucyatt27: u know we re not too advanced in all in africa

captaindefenestrator: I can see. It appears that Shift keys haven't made it there yet. Well, thanks to those damn Indians, I'm not sure how we can get this resolved before next week, unless your firm can front us the money for a new fax machine.

captaindefenestrator: It would be an act of good faith to cement our new partnership.

captaindefenestrator: If you can just send me your corporate credit card information, my receptionist will go to Office Supply and get a fax machine and we can have it hooked up within a couple hours.

lucyatt27: how do i send it pls

lucyatt27: d fax machine u requested 4

captaindefenestrator: Just enter the credit card information here and I'll take it down. It'll go much faster if we get one here, because this is America and the Machines roam our streets.

lucyatt27: our credit card doesnt work in d us

captaindefenestrator: So, I'll need your credit card number, the expiration date, the last 3 digits on the back, and the cardholder's name.

captaindefenestrator: It's ok, I have an adaptor. What's the information?

lucyatt27: ur makin things difficult 4 us

captaindefenestrator: I'll need to get this to the store before they close. It's about to get dark, and the cyborgs will be coming soon. If you can't show me this much good faith, how can we do business?

lucyatt27: can see u dont wanna help a lady

lucyatt27: maybe u hate lady lawyers

captaindefenestrator: I thought this was about your client! We need to focus on priorities here, Lucy!

captaindefenestrator: Now, I'm sorry about the indians. I wish I'd been better prepared, but what's done is done.

lucyatt27: ill look 4 a ready persom

captaindefenestrator: It sounds like you need for me to have a fax machine to proceed.

captaindefenestrator: After all we've been through together? This is how you treat me?

lucyatt27: we have millions of people connected to d net bye

captaindefenestrator: I'm here ready to give you unlimited access to my account in Switzerland, I just need a little cooperation from you!

lucyatt27: i ve been ur fool

captaindefenestrator: Well, just answer one thing for me, Lucy.

lucyatt27: u ll soon be one to somebody to dats nemesis

captaindefenestrator: What law school did youy go to that they didn't teach you how to use a Shift Key or spell out the word "you?"

lucyatt27: bye

captaindefenestrator: Lucy, Baby! Don't go! I can change!!!

captaindefenestrator: Lucy?

captaindefenestrator: o/\ Mem'ries...from the corners of my mind.

captaindefenestrator: Misty water-colored mem'ries...of the way we were! o/\