MRS ABACHAFrom : maria abach <mrs_maria200000@yahoo.ca>Sent : Thursday, 20 May 2004 9:51:15 PM Subject : CONTACT MRS MARIAM Dear ,Billy Rubin I am Mrs Mariam Abacha , the wife of the late head of state of Nigeria. My late husband died in 1997. There is a confidential deal which I Want to introduce to you. My late husband had the sum of $45Million dollars in a security company here in Nigeria. But due to the fact that the present government wants to confiscate this fund, I secretly pushed it to europe through a diplomatic courier service company. Now, my family has decided to make use of this money.Therefore,we decided to contact you for a possible assistance.All we want from you is to assist us to claim this fund for my family in Europe.We decided to compensate you with 25% of this fund. 5% of this fund has been mapped out to take care of any expenses that we may incur. All the documents relating to this fund are with my family lawyer. Hence, I shall link you with my family lawyer as soonas I get your response.Due to the fact that the federal government mornitors my family, my communication with you shall be strictly via email alone. Please your urgent response is highy needed so that this fund could be claimed soonest. God bless you. Mrs Mariam Abacha BILLY RUBINMy Dear Fellow,What is the meaning of this? Please explain yourself at once. Professor Billy Rubin MRS ABACHADear;;Mr Billy Rubinthanks for your good mail.pls remember what i told you about the secrecy of this money so you are hereby required to contact our family attorney on tel.no. +234-80-23875616 and his email address is as follows;;;;;; fa_williams400@yahoo.co.uk his name is barrister francis ade williams .so pls contact him and he will guide you on what to do . pls sir,let me know by mail as soon as you have contacted him.i beleive that my first mail to you is quite explanatory enough.since you indicated your intention to assist,just contact the attorney because he is much better position to give you details.remember i have to be silent on this matter.and i thank God that you are a learned one. God bless, mrs mariam abacha [When blood is broken down in the liver it forms bilirubin. An excess of bilirubin causes yellow jaundice] BILLY RUBINHello Mr Francis Williams,I have been asked to contact you by Mariam Abacha. Where do we proceed from here? Best Regards Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSFrom Barrister Francis WilliamsAttn;;Billy Rubin thanks for your contact mail.actually your data has been passed to my chambers for few weeks now.before the end of today and early tomorrow,the papers will be forwarded to the security company which i beleive that as soon as they receive them,you will contacted accordingly.mrs m. abacha has been my client for years and she has told you is nothing but the truth but if only you will follow my directive.pls as soon as you are contacted,let me know for confirmation so as to avoid mistake. thanks as i await your positive response. yours faithfully, barr.f.a. williams{san} From: The Amsterdam Connection JUSTIN PHILLIPS THE FINANCE GUYFrom : customerservice <customerservice@e-ubankingfinance.com>Reply-To : <customerservice@e-ubankingfinance.comgt; Sent : Tuesday, 25 May 2004 8:41:19 PM To : Billy Rubin Subject : Re: Notification Letter. Dear Sir, The above subject matter refers: This office wishes to inform you that we have recieved notification from one of our clients to prepare for transfer the sum of US$45,000,000.00 (Fourty-Five Million United States Dollars) only to your possession. In light of the above we ask that you furnish us with a proof of identification (international passport/driver's licence) to ascertain your identity. We also ask that you notify us of a possible date of arrival in Amsterdam between 25th of May and 1st of June, 2004 for a prepayment meeting which will culminate in the transfer of the above mentioned fund to your possession. For further clarification, contact the undersign on telephone number 0031617438725. We await your response. We remain obliged. Yours faithfully, Justin Phillips. For: EUBF. BILLY RUBINFrom the walnut inlaid marble desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqThe Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals 26th May, 2004 Dear Mr Justin Phillips What a delight to hear from you so soon. We have discussed your proposal at our company board meeting, and we advise that we will be sending one of our representatives to Amsterdam on the 10th June. He will meet with you and discuss transferring the money. By way of Introduction, our representative is Dr Vern Acula, and he is head of our Blood Transfusion Products Division. I have asked Dr Acula to contact you and send a copy of his passport. Best of luck. Professor Billy Rubin DR VERN ACULAFrom the Blood Transfusion Products DivisionCEO Dr. Acula Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals Dear Mr Justin Phillips, Professor Billy Rubin has asked me to travel to Europe conclude our business transaction. I am very excited about travelling to meet you. My life's work is Blood. It is my passion. You see, everybody needs blood, and if you don't have any then you can get sick. Most people don't think about their blood, but if you have a cut or get shot or someone puts a hole in you, then all your blood leaks out. That is where our company can be so useful, as we can arrange to give people new blood to replace the blood they have lost. Blood is everything. I love blood! It is so wonderful to be able to work with blood. I will be travelling to Europe very soon in search of more blood. Can you tell me a bit more about yourself? Where do you live, how old are you and where will we be meeting? Will you have all the paperwork drawn up soon? Also, I hope you don't mind me asking, do you know your blood group? I will start making travel plans straight away. I attach a copy of my passport so you can recognise me at the airport. I am so looking forward to this trip, as it will give me a chance to do business and to continue my research into blood. Warmest regards Dr. Acula [Picture - Dr Acula's passport] BILLY RUBINFrom the very expensive desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqCEO The Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals Hello Mr Williams, My good man, I have heard from your security company, and things are progressing very nicely. Can you please let Mr Abacha know that we will be getting his money to him very soon. Warmest Regards Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSFrom : francis williams <fa_williams400@yahoo.co.uk>Sent : Thursday, 27 May 2004 8:02:26 PM Subject : INFORMATIONS WILL BE RELAYED ACCORDINGLY ATTN;;;BILLY RUBIN, THANKS FOR YOUR UPDATE AND ALL INFORMATIONS WILL BE RELAYED ACCORDINGLY.BUT POINT OF CORRECTION,AM NOT THE OWNER OF THE SECURITY COMPANY BUT MY CLIENT GAVE THE INFORMATIONS TO ME AND ALSO I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND DOWN TO ME THE NAME OF THE OFFICER AND NAME OF THE SECURITY COMPANY. GOD BLESS, BARRISTER F.A. WILLIAMS. BILLY RUBINFrom the gold inlaid oak desk of Professor Billy Rubin Esq28th May Dear Mr Williams, Thanks for your note. We must move at once to conclude this risk free 100% dubious low calorie rust proof transaction. Our company has set aside $3000 to deal with any expenses. I have received a message from the Security Company. The Banking Officer's name is Mr Justin Phillips and the company are calling themselves Quick Turn and Partners EUBF. They are a bit slow to respond to messages. Please, if we are to be business partners I must know more about you. Where do you work? What city are you in? Also, are you a God Fearing Man? I would also like to know more about Mr Abacha. How long have you known him? Is he married and does he have a wife? We look forward to visiting you and collecting the $45 million from you so we can give it to Mr Abacha. Kind regards Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Monday, 31 May 2004 7:18:05 PMSubject : sorry for the short delay. Att;;Billy Rubin, sorry for the shory delay.i was away for a breif of one of my clients and i just came back last night.pls if you have not heard from the security company,do write and ask why they have not updated you. God bless, barrister f.a.williams BILLY RUBINNo I have not heard from them. I only had one message at the beginning. They wanted a passport so I sent this. Then nothing.Can you use another security company?? Best regards Prof Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Wednesday, 2 June 2004 6:53:58 PMSubject : worry them Attn;;Billy Rubin, how are you.how can you ask me to change to another security company.am working on the bases of the information given to me by mrs mariam or have i ever told you that i own a security company?pls get it clear that all i did is i wrote the company and it was confirmed hence i worked on the backing papers like the deposit certificate on your behalf and sent to them hence they contacted you.so pls you have every write to worry them but i will also get across to them today.always make sure you update me regularly. God bless, f.a.williams. BILLY RUBINFrom the newly refurbished concrete desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqThe Center for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals 3rd June, 2004 Dear Mr Williams, I cannot fly at the moment due to a nasty ear infection I caught off a koala. However, one of our trusted employees will be flying to collect the money. His name is Doctor Acula and we have sent a copy of his passport to the security company. We have arranged for him to fly on the 10th June, so we must hurry with the paperwork. Dr Acula has $3000 to pay for any sundry expenses. I have just got a message from him and he wants to know if he should bring any gifts for you when he visits. Perhaps a gold watch or chain? Maybe some fine red wine from his home town of Transylvania. We want to give you something as a token of our appreciation. Do let me know. I will keep trying to get a reply from the security company. Is the deposit certificate ready yet? Can you send me a copy when this is done? Do let me know if a gold watch would be ok? Best of luck. Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Thursday, 3 June 2004 9:29:57 PMSubject : i dont need your gift Attn;;;Billy Rubin, whta do you mean by gift?are you suppose to direct that mail to me or the security company?am i in the security company?you are mentioning usd3,000 as if it is money to me.that one of my sons allowance in a month studying abroad.pls for Gods sake,if you want to assist the woman,better be serious and write them over ther so that they can give you date.you must mind how you address people. God bless, barr.f.a.williams BILLY RUBINFrom the creosote coated pine laminate desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqThe Centre for Research into Advance Pharmaceuticals Hello my good friend Barrister Williams, Thankyou for your message with all the words and phrases in the correct order. I do not understand what you are saying about the gift. In my country if someone offers you a gift you say "thankyou very much" and you accept it. I myself am head of a big drug company, and people are giving me gifts of drugs all the time, and I always say "thankyou very much", even if I do not want the drugs. But you are saying you do not want the gift of a watch. Perhaps in your country things are different. Maybe if a friend comes to your house and brings you a gift of wine it is polite to say "begone, Spawn of Satan, and take your foul gift with you"? Is it customary at your birthday party to jump up and down on all your gifts shouting "behold, I crush these evil gifts" You must explain. Do I tell Dr Acula not to take any money at all? I am still waiting to hear from the security company. They are very very slow. Dr Acula is making plans to travel on the 10th June at night. He prefers to travel at night. Yours, in confusion and obfuscation, Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Monday, 7 June 2004 10:23:31 PMAtn;;Billy Rubin, it is like you misunderstood me about the issue of gift.am in nigeria and you are asking me if i would like a gift from you when am not in the security company that is in europe.and now you are telling me or you want to teach me own culture,any way am not against that because you have been in the classroom for a long time before you became what you are today though i do not know if you still teach.well since you have written them,that is the security company,you just have to wait for their response.have you also given them the date of your friends arrival?if so ,that is good of you.all am here for is to make sure the poor woman gets her money through you.pls your update as soon as you hear from the security company. God bless, barr.f.a.williams. BILLY RUBINFrom the cold steel mortuary slab desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqThe Centre for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals Hello my good friend Barr. F. Williams, Your letter explains everything very well. I enjoy learning about other customs and cultures. We have a saying here in Australia which I think is most relevant here: "Always learn to cut your fingernails with your left hand, because one day you might lose your right arm!" I have been in touch with Dr Acula and he is travelling on the 10th. I do hope the security company get in touch with him otherwise he will have no idea where Europe is. I contacted Dr Acula using the Kangaroo Post system. This is some of my culture I would like to share with you. You see, here in Australia we have these animals called Kangaroos. They hop on two legs, and they are about as tall as a man. Every kangaroo has a pouch in its front for carrying the baby kangaroos. But they can also carry other things. Here in Australia we have built fences between all the cities. If I want to send a letter from my home city in Sydney to perhaps Melbourne, I wait until a kangaroo comes along with "Melbourne" on a sign round his neck. Then I put the letter in his pouch, and he hops off to Melbourne. When he gets there they take the letter out and he hops off to another city. It is an excellent system, because Kangaroos can hop quite fast - about twice as fast as a man can run so it is very quick. I can send you a picture of a Kangaroo if you like. I have contacted Dr Acula using the Kangaroo Post, and he is ready to depart on the 10th. I trust we will have Mrs Abacha's money soon. Best regards Professor Billy Rubin [And Australians also ride Kangaroos to work.] JUSTIN PHILLIPSFrom : customerservice <customerservice@e-ubankingfinance.com>Sent : Monday, 7 June 2004 7:58:44 AM To : "Doctor Acula" Subject : Re: Matters Arising. Dear Sir, The above subject matter refers; This office ask that you re-send the mail as we did not receive any mail from your good self on the 25th. We await the mail. Yours faithfully,, Justin Phillips. For: EUBF. [What a bunch of lazy useless good-for-nothing layabouts. How could they lose the passport? It is a work of art that took over 10 minutes to create!] DR VERN ACULATo: Justin PhillipsCopy to Barrister F Williams and Professor Billy Rubin 9th June, Hello everyone, Well I must depart today on the 9th June if I am to travel all the way from Australia to Europe and arrive on the 10th June. It is a 24 hour flight. I hope I will be able to find Mr Phillips. Wish me luck Dr Acula BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Tuesday, 8 June 2004 8:55:27 PMSubject : write the security coy.and let them know the date. Attn;;;Billy Rubin, thanks for your educative and proverbial mail.ls if you know you actually wants to help this woman,write and tell the officer in the security company that you are sending a representative with the date so that they will aware and offcourse to wellcome him.pls do that and update of their response. God bless, Mr. F.A.Williams esq. BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Wednesday, 9 June 2004 9:55:08 PMSubject : thanks for your update Attn;;Billy Rubin, thanks for your good update.even Dr.Acula has also copied me the mailhe sent to them in armsterdam.just tell himthat as soon as he gets there,he should just give a call across to them and they willdefinitely pick him up. i will be waiting for more of your update. God bless, Mr.F.A.Williams esq. DR ACULAFrom Dr Acula in AmsterdamTo: Justin Phillips Cc Barr. F Williams Good God man, what on earth is going on?! I have flown all the way to Amsterdam and there was no one to meet me. I saw a man loitering near the baggage carousel. I have taken a photo of him and I am sending this to you. Is he the man you sent to meet me, Mr Phillips? If so, why did he run away when I approached him? Are you people serious about business or are you tricksters and fraudsters? Reply at once. Doctor V. Acula BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Thursday, 10 June 2004 2:42:40 AMSubject : i hope you have not been joking Attn;;Billy Rubin, surrisingly,the officer in the security comany just wrote me that you are a jker so that means all you have writing me was a joke but well let me from them again to see if your representative never get there. bye for now, Mr.F.A.Williams BILLY RUBINFrom the cardboard desk of Professor Billy Rubin Esq11th June, 2004 Dear Mr Williams, Let me assure you this is not a joke. It is a serious business transaction and our company is going to do everything in our power to help assist poor Mrs Abacha. I remain concerned at the unprofessional conduct of the security company - they are very slow to respond. I do hope they send someone to meet Dr Acula at the airport. My good friend, we will do everything to help Mrs Abacha. Kind regards Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Sunday, 13 June 2004 5:57:21 PMSubject : get it frm your man Attn;;Doctor Acula, you are supposed to have the no before you lef australia so if you are serious,get it from your man,mr billy rubbin God bless, f.a.williams esq. BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Monday, 14 June 2004 3:54:10 AMSubject : pls read and get it straight Atnn;;Billy Rubin, am short of words but could you please send me the email you sent the officer because he boldly told me that you wrote stinkers there so may be they thaught you were joking.that is no {1} no{2}go ahead and explain to the officer that you are seriouse and tell him that your representative has left for europe to meet with him so that you dialogue and settle once and for all. i will be waiting for your response God bless, Mr.F.A.Williams. BILLY RUBINFrom the bakelite desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqMy Good Friend Barr. F Williams, Something I have been pondering Ð If a fly had no wings would it be called a walk? We must act at once. I have fears that Dr Acula is not well Ð he has been looking very pale lately and has not been himself since he started dating a girl called Buffy. Do forgive him if he seems a bit angry. I have instructed Dr Acula to contact the security company as soon as possible to sort out a meeting. Meantime, I think I have worked out what is going on. 1) The security company lost the initial passport. 2) They took two weeks to reply. 3) They did not send someone to the airport. 4) They accused Dr Acula of being a joker. I think this is a test. You see, I think they are testing to see if we are serious about business. And now I think we have passed all the tests, because we still want to do business. Mrs Abacha must be getting very impatient. Tell me, my friend, how long do we have to conclude this business? Warmest regards Professor Billy Rubin DR ACULAFrom Dr V Acula, Amsterdam AirportTo Barr Williams Good God, Man get a grip will you. I've been stuck at this airport arrivals lounge for two days now! How am I supposed to contact the security company if I don't know their number! Get with it man, and at once. I can't wait around here all week. Dr V Acula [Also there's the sunlight issue] BARRISTER WILLIAMSSubject : i cant beleive this.Attn;;Billy Rubin, can you see the seriousness you have attached.this why the officer said it.can you imagine your man,dr acula saying he has been in the airport fo two days that he dosent have the officers tel no.it is unbeleivable.something he has to be with ever before he left australia.so reach him and give him their no.if really you are seriouse. bye for now. f.a.awilliams BILLY RUBINUrgent Message to Doctor AculaMy good man, I have tried calling this security company and I understand you cannot get through either. You have been at the airport for three days now - I can't have my staff wasting time like this. I do not think these people are very professional or serious about business. Can you please fly to London at once and pick up a package. I've attached a photo. It is downpayment for a most interesting business proposition we have just received from a Mr Tony Mugabe, who is the brother of the president of Zimbabwe. I will get you to fly back to Amsterdam if these people get their things organised. Best regards Professor Billy Rubin [Picture of gold bars] DR ACULATo Professor Billy RubinAccidental cc to Francis Williams Dear Billy, I am in London and I have the package. Do I return to Amsterdam or do I proceed to Nigeria to discuss business with Mr Mugabe? Please let me know soonest. By the way, Amsterdam airport was horrible. So much food that I have been supersized and put on over 8 Kilograms! I would much prefer the simpler diet of something with blood in it (maybe a haggis or a black pudding). I hope they have better food in Africa. Best regards Doctor Acula BILLY RUBIN15th JuneTo Barrister Williams Good News my friend, I have finally got through to the security company on the Telephone. I am not sure what the problem was Ð perhaps Koalas were nibbling on the wires. They seem very keen to proceed. I didn't speak to Justin Phillips but the man I spoke to seemed to know all about the transaction and how it would work. I have instructed Dr Acula to fly straight back to Amsterdam. They have assured me he will be met this time. Best regards Professor Billy Rubin BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Tuesday, 15 June 2004 7:46:50 PMSubject : great news Attn;;Billy Rubin, that is ok.great of you.at least mrs abacha will breath down a bit.i will be waiting for your update. thanks and God bless, F.A.Williams esq. BILLY RUBINFrom the astroturf coated desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqCFO and CEO The Centre for Research into Advanced Pharmaceuticals 16th June, 2004 Hello my good friend, Progress at last!! Dr Acula tells me he landed at Amsterdam Airport and this time there was a man waiting to meet him. He says they took a ride in a very nice car to the security company. Dr Acula says there is a small matter of some fees to pay and some "demurrage" but this should be no problem at all as the fees are quite small. Dr Acula was well prepared as he had some money deposited in a Netherlands bank called the Banque du Blood. He says he was able to withdraw some money in US$ Dollars and pay the fees. Things sound like they are going very smoothly. We should have the money to Mrs Abacha very soon and this transaction will be concluded entirely to our satisfaction. Best of luck. Professor Billy BARRISTER WILLIAMSSent : Thursday, 17 June 2004 6:39:36 PMSubject : your destiny is in your hands. Attn;;;Billy Rubin, i wonder how a man of your statues can tell lies.this has shown me that all you have been saying are lies.your invisible dr acula that never existed on earth.i got through to mr phillips yesterday and he told me that no boby of such came to the company. not to talk paying fees.i dont know where you manufactured your mr phillips that your invisible dr acula met came from.this shows that all you have been claiming to be is virtually not. God bless, F.A.Williams esq BILLY RUBINFrom the carpet coated desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqTo Barr Francis Williams My good friend, I do not understand your message. Dr Acula is a good friend of mine and is most certainly real. He says he has met with Mr Phillips and has paid him some money. But you say Mr Phillips has not met him. I am very worried about Dr Acula. Perhaps the Mr Phillips he has met is not the real Mr Phillips. Maybe it is someone pretending to be Mr Phillips. I will ask Dr Acula what is going on. Best regards Professor Billy Rubin DR ACULATo Barrister WilliamsDear Mr Williams, Professor Billy Rubin says you think I am not real. But I am real. I just checked in the mirror and there I am. I poked myself and it hurts. I think I am real so I must be real. He says the Mr Phillips I have met might be an imposter. If this is true then I am very scared as I have paid him money and I might lose my job if I have given money to the wrong person. The Mr Phillips I have met is an African man, about six foot 5 inches tall (very tall), with a beard and long hair. He is about 25 years old. Is this correct? Please let me know at once. Sincerely Dr V. Acula [Should a vampire be using a mirror?] [Time for it to all go horribly wrong. The Mugu Stealer strikes again...] THE GREAT MUGU STEALERFrom The Great Mugu StealerHA HA HA I AM THE GREAT MUGU STEALER. I STEAL YOUR MUGU AND TAKE HIS MONEY. BROTHER YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFULL WITH YOUR PASSWORD AND SECURITY ON YOUR COMPUTER. I GOT YOUR PASSWORD. THEN I GOT EMAIL ACCOUNT NEXT TO YOURS AT YAHOO IN UK. THEN I GOT INTO YOUR MESSAGES. I READ YOUR MESSAGE ABOUT STUPID MUGU GOING TO AMSTERDAM. I SENT HIM MESSAGE PRETENDING TO BE YOU AND GAVE HIM MY PHONE NUMBER. THEN I GOT MY FRIEND TO MEET HIM AND PRETEND TO BE THE SECURITY COMPANY. YOUR MUGU WITH STUPID NAME MR DR ACULA HAS STUPID NAME BUT HE HAS LOTS OF MONEY. I CHARGED HIM LOTS OF FEES AND HE IS STILL PAYING. MAYBE I GIVE HIM BACK TO YOU WHEN I HAVE ALL HIS MONEY!!! BROTHER I TELL YOU I HAVE BEEN DOING 419 FOR MUCH LONGER THAN YOU. YOU DO ALL THE WORK GETTING MUGU AND I GET ALL THE MONEY. WHO IS SMART MAN AND WHO IS STUPID MAN? I HAVE ALL YOUR PASSWORDS AND NAMES. 419 BELONG TO US NOT YOU. HA HA HA MUGU STEALER ALWAYS GETS MONEY!!! [Will we hear back? Very unlikely, but just so he doesn't wise up, let's send a few more distressed emails] DR ACULA18th June, 2004To Billy Rubin Cc Barr. F. Williams Prof, I am now certain that the Mr Phillips I met is an imposter and not the real Mr Phillips. He keeps asking for more fees and I told him I have no more money. Then he got very angry and won't let me leave the hotel room. I need help to escape. Dr Acula BILLY RUBINTo Dr AculaCc Barr. F. Williams I will be brief as our messages may be intercepted. I have asked Barrister Williams for help. I am sure he can get you out of there. Billy Rubin BILLY RUBINFrom the tiled desk of Professor Billy Rubin EsqDear Barr. Williams, Sir, I fear Dr Acula has been kidnapped. We will be needing your help at once. What do you suggest? Professor Billy Rubin more to come? |