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Howard Bean
X-Apparently-To: Allbee Franks via 66.218.93.194
X-Originating-IP: [205.158.62.67]
Received: from [212.199.109.250]
From: "Howard Bean" doingitright@fastermail.com
To: Allbee Franks
Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005
Subject: Buying('00 Model_T)$10,999
Hi,
I am very much Interested In Buying your'00 Model T,I have been searching for it quite
sometime now.
Do get back to me as soon as possible with the last
asking price and, if it is still for sale?.
Payment will be made with International money order
or certified cashier check.
Thanks and have a Greatday.
I look forward to hearing from.
Kind regards,
Howard Bean
Well what d'ya know? A buyer for my fake car - the IP
is from Israel no less! Do you think he's gonna drive
it back?
[Scam-o-note: it is often not possible to trace a scam-o-gram back past the satellite ISP, several hops upstream from the actual sender. West Africa (most of Africa actually) gets most of its internet connections by satellite.]
... legit buyers will be told the car won't be out
of the shop for at least three weeks. It caught fire,
rolled 20 times, crashed into busload of nuns, and
came to rest on the school superintendant.
Allbee Franks
Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005
Dear Mr. Bean,
The car is still for sale, when would you like to come
look at it? Is there anything else would you like to
know about the car?
Certified cashier check would be fine.
Allbee Franks
...
I understand that the mugu could be in a bunch of
different places, but it's pretty safe to say he
1) Ain't in St. Louis and
2) Ain't even in the US
3) Took the bait and may send a bogus check to:
a) the White House
b) the Mustang Ranch (famous whorehouse) near Las
Vegas
c) Graceland
depending on what I feel like telling him. Watch me
make the mugu dance.
Allbee Franks
Date: Wed, 13 Apr 2005
HEY SHITHEAD, DO YOU STILL WANT TO BUY MY CAR?
Sincerely,
Allbee Franks
Howard Bean
Hello Shithead,
I would like you to cut off Ads from the website
Immediately and get
back to me
Immediately with some pictures and your contact
details . I'm ready to
buy the car, I`m taking you by your words. Do not to
worry about the
shipping. I will contact my client who is owing me
$17,000 to make the
payment to you and after you recieving it you will
deduct your
$10,999 and send the excess to my shipper, who will
check the car and
convey it from your
location.If this terms are okay by you email me
with this information,
hence
I can forward them to my client to make the payment
fast to you.
FULL NAME TO BE WRITEN ON
CHECK:
MAILNGADDRESS:
COUNTRY:CITY:
ZiP-CODE:
PHONE#:CELL PHONE#:
I look forward to hearing from you.
Howard Bean
Allbee Franks
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005
Holy cow!
Mr. Bean I am so sorry for that email. I sent it to
you by mistake. I thought you were someone named
Oscar Meyer who said he was coming to meat me
yesterday. He kept me standing in the rain waiting
for him for two hours and never showed, never even
called. That's no baloney, please accept my
apologies.
Here is the information and pictures you asked for:
Name: Allbee Franks
Address: 207 West High Street
Jefferson City, MO 65102
Phone:
314-241-1818 or 314-652-3476
Please accept my apologies again,
Are you going to meat me in St. Louis?
Allbee Franks
[Here Allbee attached some pictures of a pristine late-model car - not really a Model T. But you knew that.]
FYI - address is for the Attorney General of Missouri
The phone numbers are for the Soulard Meat Market and
Taylor's Sausage Co, so hopefully he will call them
and ask for Allbee Franks
Howard Bean
Hi,
Apologies accepted.As convey by the last mail my
shipper/frieght agent is the person that will check
it out.I will give him a call to know how is going
to look like. Honestly, I am satisfied with the
pictures.
Allbee Franks
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005
Dear Mr. Bean,
I'm glad you like the photographs. I am the original
owner and I took really good care of it. Everyone says
the car is a cream puff.
Once again, sorry for being such a weiner.
Allbee Franks
Allbee Franks
April 16
Dear Mr. Bean,
Are you still interested in my car? Is this kosher?
Allbee Franks
Howard Bean
Dear Frank,
Ofcourse yes. I am still very much interested that
was why I asked about the payment details you gave
to me. I am not Kosher, okay?
I thought you read my message which demanded for
payment details, which also told you that I will
forward the details to my client who will issue
payment. I HAVE ALREADY ORDER THE ISSUANCE. Please
kindly go through my last emails and get the
arrangement properly.
Regards
Howard.
Allbee Franks
Dear Mr. Bean,
Again, here is the information you asked for:
Name: Allbee Franks
Address: 207 West High Street
Jefferson City, MO 65102
Phone:
314-241-1818 or 314-652-3476
I have another buyer. If you are still interested I
will need to have this deal completed by, oh, let's
say sometime in the Ball Park by Wednesday. I do have
another vehicle for sale in case I sell the Nissan to
someone else.
I notice that your email appears to originate in
Israel, perhaps we are related. Are you a Hebrew
National by any chance?
Allbee Franks
Allbee Franks
Dear Mr. Bean,
I was born in Frankfurt, so I am sorry for being such
a sour Kraut, but we need to complete this deal
pronto.
I didn't tell you that Mrs. Franks had a bun in the
oven, and yesterday she gave birth to Boyle D. Franks
while we were attending a barbecue. Fortunately
Pastor Mustard was there, he has experience delivering
the little cocktails.
So please send me that check!!
Allbee Franks
Howard Bean
Dear Frank,
Thanks for your emails and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
I can see that you desperate to sell, I am equally
desperate to buy it.I have asked my client who is
owing
$17,000 to issue the payment(I`m sure it is issued
already) so as to wrap up this buying as quick as
possible and upon receiving it, you deduct $10,999
and send the balance to my shipper/freight agent, so
as to complete the change of ownership and take the
car from your possession as soon as possible, just
to repeat myself, ok?
I must say once more that I am satisfied with the
pictures you sent.Please, endeavour to have a little
patient as the cheque will get to you sooner than
you think.
Kind regards,
Mr. Howard Bean
Allbee Franks
Thank you Mr. Bean,
I relish the opportunity to raise little Boyle. He's
wrapped up in his little blanket right now, so small
and pink, like a little pig. I wish I could keep the
car for his big brother Nathan, but not now with two
mouth's to feed.
Allbee Franks
Allbee Franks
April 19
Hello Mr. Bean,
What's cooking? Did you send the check? I have someone
else coming over to look at the car today. He was
grilling me about how soon he can drive it away. I am
not used to being in such a rare situation. I really
don't have the skin for this type of thing, I just
want this to end up well done.
Little Boyle is fine, a nice boy, not a braten. We are
very busy. My wife Patty has her family here from
home her town of Hamburg. Her brother Weber was all
fired up, asking me things like "do I bring home the
bacon". Patty's little sister Wendy has been telling
me all sorts of half-baked stories, some of them real
Whopppers I'll tell you, like how they grew up in a
White Castle and how they used to sing "Old McDonald"
growing up. And her slutty sister Marinade has been
all over me. They really are a Hardee bunch, it
must've been fun growing up on the Ponderosa, and they
were all so nice, I never got so many condiments in
one day.
Please hurry up , this car is USDA prime, I have to
tell you. I am not full of soy, if you want to see
more I can send links.
Allbee Franks
Allbee Franks
Mr. Bean,
I have someone sitting in my kitchen with $10,200
cash. Are you still interested in the car?
Allbee Franks
Allbee Franks
Hey Schmuck,
Don't bother sending me your fake check. And I
regularly email people selling cars on the web site to
warn them about assholes like you.
Allbee Franks (ALL BEEF FRANKS)
At this point Allbee included some very funny pics of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile:
http://www.automobilemag.com/officegossip/030829_weinermobile/
This is worth a look just for its own sake. America is a great country, by golly!
We've got the Doggie Diner heads, the '76 station Eyeballs, we've got it all.
Someday in the distant future, when aliens are excavating our planet, they'll stumble on things like the Wienermobile and know that an advanced civilization did exist.
Howard Bean
shithead,
Do you know you have a mental problem,
motherfucker.
Allbee Franks
And I also called the Attorney General, you cowardly
piece of shit. Keep the insults coming, they only
make me laugh.
Allbee Franks
Date: 21 Apr 2005
Subject: A song you might like
Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
That is what I'd truly like to be
Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Wei-nerrr
All the girls would be in love with meeee
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