Scam o Rama

U STILL LOVE ME OR NOT?

Five years and counting - updated september 20 2007

Prince Emmanuel Awuruh, head of a "Non-Governmental Organization", approached the Royal Family for a grant. The Foreign Office was called in. During a year of fun and games, Prince Emmanuel hit on Princess Candy, and her stern but kindly guardian Sir Marmite Luny-Binns stepped in. Prince Emmanuel dropped out of sight. Two years on, Prince Emmanuel - if it is indeed he and not some second-stringer - got back in touch. Five years on, he is still trying to get money out of the Crown's canniest operatives. Is he only playing with Princess Candy's heart?

The Scammer:
Prince Emmanuel Awuruh - head of a Non-Governmental Organization
(UNICON - "Universal Consortium for Reduction of Unemployment / Starvation & Advancement of Skills Acquisition")

The Mysterious Interloper:
Sundiata Keita - mysterious advocate of Prince Emmanuel's dignity - alliance uncertain

The Royalty:
HRH Princess Margaret - no, not that one, another one
Princess Candice Windsor - Margaret's niece

The Staff:
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE - her loyal retainer
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns - diplomat, noted letch, Princess Candy's guardian
Michael Montague Barrymore - a lawyer who can make legalese sound like porn, and
Special Agent Ilichy Miracsky - who never met a beer he didn't like.
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes - Chief Executive, Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Lonslo Tossov - proprietor, Cack & Chavster Tailors
Tushie Meshuganah - assistant to Sir Charles
Tannin Grey, Esq. - the Earl of Grey and Patron of PISS [Private International Scambaiting Security]
Mikhail Stroganov - ex-KGB (and possibly future KGB? who knows, these days), matrixed to the Foreign Office.

December 4, 2002
Prince Emmanuel NonGovernmental Organization" <prince_iaewp@37.com>	To: Sir Marmite Luny-Binns CC: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: RE: APPEAL FUND Date: Wed, 4 Dec 2002 In recognition of your potential contribution and support in the affairs of God and Humanity, I privilege to require your unreserve assistance on behalf of UNICON. Please help to provide with an impetus thayt will enhancxe the effectiveness of this organization. Please find attached the detailed proposal for your perusal action. Regards Prince Emmanuel Awuruh(Direct Tel: 220-910974 President--UNICON
Princess Margaret	[This is FAR too tempting to ignore!!! LOL!!!] Cc: M. Montague Barrymore, Sir Marmite Luny-Binns Date: 05 Dec 2002 My Dear Prince Your plea for a donation to a very worthy cause has touched all of our hearts here at Doss House. Her Majesty is very concerned about third world poverty and has made some magnificent gestures in the past, which I am sure you are aware of. Some of these are under a necessary cloak of discretion which I am sure you will appreciate is for the best of reasons. We will be delighted to make a contribution in this instance. However as it is a monetary transaction occuring within the commonwealth and related territories, Palace protocal dictates that it should be notorised by the extempoire Commonwealth Legal Advisor, Sir Michael Barrymore. I shall of course copy this reply to him, but you may wish to apply to him direct, and ask for a FIDIS QUIM RECIDIUM, a statement from his office which will enable this matter to move forward at a more than respectable rate, a thing which is in all our interests. Please feel free to communicate with Us at any time and do keep us informed as to how it proceeds. In the meantime may We wish all the very best in your endeavours. MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto, Room 101, The Royal Les Dawson Suite Kensington Doss House, Buckingham London FU2 GlT [Her Majesty is pleased to received this latest, most enjoyable, letter requesting Her help and will be giving it Her fullest attention.]
December 9, 2002
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret CC: Sir Marmite Luny-Binns Subject: RE;APPRECIATION Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 FOR THE ATTENTION OF HER MAJESTY: WE HAVE RECIEVED YOUR ESTEEMED FAVOURED MESSAGE AND THE CONTENTS THEREIN NOTED WITH CARE.PLEASE NOTE THAT THE SAID PROGRAMME WILL BE COMMENECED ON 18TH DECEMBER 2002. IN THIS RESPECT, WE ARE PLEASED TO REQUIRE THAT URGENT ACTION SHOULD BE EXPEDITED AT YOUR END TO ENABLE US PURCHASE SOME OF THE NECESSARY THINGS THAT NEEDED TO ENHANCE THE EFFECTIVE OF THE PROGRAME,ie,YOU SHOULD TRY AND SEND TO US ANY AMOUNT OF CASH REGARDLESS ON THE AMOUNT BEFORE THE 18TH DECEMBER. YOU CAN SEND THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER ON IDENTIFICATION OF THE PRESIDENT-UNICON,PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH. LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST PRINCE EMMANULE AWURUH PRESIDENT-UNICON
Princess Margaret	Cc: Sir Marmite Luny-Binns, Ilichy Miracsky My Dear Prince I have €10,000 in my drawer here, and can arrange for it to be wired to a contact of ours one Ilichy Miracsky, due in your country shortly who will hand it over to you as an emergency payment. Will this be acceptable? God help you all.
PRINCE EMMANUEL	Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 FOR THE ATTENTION OF HER MAJESTY, WE SINCERELY AGREED WITH ANY CONDITION AND ASSISTANCE GIVEN BY YOU IN RESPECIVE OF SUPPORTING THE WORK OF GOD AND HUMANITY. YOU SHOULD GO-AHEAD AND SEND THE MONEY THROUGH ANY RELIABLE PERESON YOU WISH TO. UPON THE RECIEPT OF DELIVERANCE , LET THE PERSON CALL US ON THE PHONE -220-910974 AND TELL US WHERE WE CAN MEET HE OR SHE FOR THE COLLECTION THEREAFTER WE WILL FORWARD TO YOU AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT RECIEPT AND AN OFFICIAL CERTIFICATE OF RECOGNITION . WE HENCE-FORTH EXPECT YOUR UREGENT RESPONSE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT-UNICON
Princess Margaret	My dear Prince Have you heard from Miracsky yet? He has our green light. Please let us know what is happening. MARGARET
December 10, 2002
Prince Emmanuel NonGovernmental Organization" [prince_iaewp@37.com]	Subject: Re: RE;APPRECIATION Date: Tue, 10 Dec 2002 FOR THE ATTENTION OF HER MAJESTY, WE HAVE NOT HEAR FROM MIRACSKY YET,PLEASE ADVISE US WHAT TO DO NEXT. PLEASE YOU CAN CALL ME ON OUR DIRECT TELEPHONE-00220-910974 FOR ORAL CLARIFICATION IF NEEDED BE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU REGARDS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT -UNICON
Ilichy Miracsky	Date: 10 Dec 2002 Subject: HELLLOO MR PRINCE Hellooooo Mr Prince Is ILICHY chairity agent to HRH Margaret, am ready for onwards business, old sport, tip tip, all top holes. Please forwards on such pappers as in to do, make pretty quick onwards, sort in monies for in transfer. Like name, have to know is like 'the artist formerly known as', or just have rich mums dads? Have hot lines to Palace, get all sortage, in tout suite tims, make sure in Christmas times all done well and propers. Get to work at wons, this fellow say, may hay while shine shins. Hope hear urge old bean Ilichy -- Ilichy Miracsky Prezcedet Finaz. Dracziuik Reality Finance czNa 345; kop 283; 10, Prague 1, Novea 283; SLOVAKIA Tel.: 02 / 2421 0519
December 10, 2002
Ilichy Miracsky	Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 Hellooooo Mr Prince Is ILICHY charity agent to HRH Margaret, am ready for onwards business, old sport. Please forwards on such pappers as in to do, make pretty quick onwards, sort in monies for in transfer. Like name, have to know is like 'the artist formerly known as', or just have rich mums dads? Have hot lines to Palace, get all sortage. Please can get to Banjul in double quicks tims, December 18, all kneed just to know details of stay. Get to work at wons, this fellow say, make hay while sun shins. Hope hear urge Ilichy
December 12, 2002
PRINCE EMMANUEL	Date: 14.12.2002 FOR THE ATTENTION OF ILICHY MIRACSKY, IN REFERENCE TO YOUR ESTEEMED INFORMATIVE MESSAGE,WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION AND DEEP CONCERN TOWARDS SERVICE OF GOD AND HUMANITY IN THE PROPOSITION AND OF IN EXPRESSION OF OUR APPRECIATION. AS REGARD TO OUR PREPARATION FOR THE FORTH-COMING LAUNCHING OF 2020 VISION INITIATIVE FOR ERADICATION OF UNEMPLOYMENMT AND STARVATION, THE AFORE-SAID LAUCHING WILL COMMENCE ON 18TH DEC.2002 AND WE ARE STILL AT PAIN ON HOW TO GET ENOUGH FUND TO PURCHASE THE NECESSARY IMPETUS THAT NEEDED IN RESPECTIVE OF THE LAUCHING. IN THIS REGARD, WE SINCERELY REQUIRE YOUR UNRESERVED ASSISTANCE BY PROVING US SOME OF THE MONEY BEFORE THE 18TH DECEMBER .ANY AMOUNT OF CASH IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED. YOU SHOULD THEREFORE OBLIGE US BY SENDING THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER FOR FASTER AND SAFETY DELIVERANCE, PAY ON IDENTIFICATION TO PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH AND CALL ME ON THE PHONE 00220-910974 AND TELL ME THE CONTROL NUMBER OR YOU CAN SEND IT THROUGH THE EMAIL BOX. WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE IN THE FULL POSITION TO PUT A GREAT SMILE ON THE FACE OF THIS ISSUE. HENCE-FORTH EXPECT YOUR URGENT POSITIVE RESPONSE AND WISHES YOU AND YOUR COLLEAGUES THE VERY BEST. REGARDS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT--UNICON
December 16, 2002
Ilichy Miracsky	Date: 16 Dec 2002 Helloooo Princes Have sent $50,000 - is all receive? Please to check in all matters as can be big probs from Pracza sends, sometimes go astray. Have made identification of Isa Dork as all hush hush, you understand? Please to check and collect this larges amounts for much good works. Hope urge hear ILICHY
December 19, 2002
Prince Emmanuel	SIR, WHAT IS GOING ON?.
Ilichy Miracsky	Subject: URGENCYS TO ONWARDS Helloooo Prince Am all in sortage way for juorneys to Banjul but have heard no thing. Is emails accounts to work, or just be bounce each once? Have no got in mail box for you, is all comes back for in nuisances. Please to fix, and tell on new to dos. Have monies, no floblem, but surely need to know in times how to say when out to flys. Is urge, say urge man to get know as said in last messages. Have cancel plane, but can do next. Hope hearings Ilichy
January 18, 2003
PRINCE EMMANUEL	To: HRH Princess Margaret CC: Ilichy Miracsky Subject: RE:REQUEST FOR TECHICAL ASSISTANCE Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2003 HER MAJESTY, PRINCESS MARGARET, THE VISION 2020 INITIATIVE HAVE BEEN LAUNCHED, AND WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR DEEP CONCERN TOWARDS THE AFFAIRS OF GOD AND HUMANITY. PLEASE FIND ATTACHED THE DETAILS OF OUR PROJECT PROPOSAL FOR YOUR PERUSAL ACTION. SINCERELY YOURS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT/CEO--UNICON
January 20, 2003
Princess Margaret	[A remarkable, professionally produced document (especially the crossed out heading and typos) which is sure to bring our deepest sympathies and urgent response in every respect. ] Cc: M. Montague Barrymore Date: 20 Jan 2003 My Dear Prince Uhuru Your document has overwhelmed us, and We intend to give it our fullest attention. On the basis of this convincingly argued and elegantly presented document, in principal We are delighted to make a substantial contribution. I have taken the liberty of forwarding it to Michael Barrymore, Her Majesty's third world legal advisor for his comments and opinions, and I am sure there are some administrative as well as contractual points which he will want to raise. He is a stickler for detail but I am sure you will understand this. To ensure this matter is taken forward may I suggest that you answer any queries he may have fully and in detail. Please feel free to communicate with Michael direct, or through Me just as you wish. In the meantime please forward any supplementary information as we are keen to see images of projects currently in action, etc. Kind regards MARGARET
January 21, 2003
M. Montague Barrymore	cc: prince_iaewp@37.com My Dear Margaret After travelling back from the Labovitch Assizes I am now in a receipt of a document sent by one PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT/CEO--UNICON. I have spent a while examining the main extent and clauses of this paper and have some observations and questions to make. I strongly advise that any business plans you may be developing should be put on hold until these issues are resolved Viz: IN SO FAR AS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH, PRESIDENT/CEO--UNICON has entered into a provisional contractual obligatum stasis with Her Majesty, on a non-quim manifest, this items be in precedent and ruminatus electus, namely: 1. Is, or shall be, the envisaged quorum for 'Universal Consortium for Reduction of Unemployment / Starvation & Advancement of Skills Acquisition' to be a non electable statutable corporation under the guiding statutes (Aus 13/56 iii - xi, rev 1999)?. 2. Shall all deficits and standing elements of place, matter and condenuments of said twix for the VOCATIONAL & SKILLS TRAINING CENTRE be op. sat. ? 3. How will the Labovitch bequest be involved, if at all, in this enterprise? 4. I note that the obligations will be on full quim with a non occasional vimto. Is this a regular codification of the issues or is the facilities and disjoinments of the VOCATIONAL & SKILLS TRAINING CENTRE be in arrears thereto? 5. Re the dilineated BREAK DOWN OF THE PROJECT (page 3 your original) this a former elective principal of :PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT of CEO--UNICON or shall we take it in more insubstantive matter foreleading in distribution of egnoggin? 6. More importantly I note the phrase ".. the proposed project will provide women with financial assistance for small scale enterprises and training for self-reliance to promote development especially in the rural areas. " (your document page 4). Is this rural dispersement of the manifold exigies to be in full olsmegma or in low Dalek expediency? There is also the matter of overt fittergee costing, which I assume PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT of CEO--can outline in further documentation. I suggest an application window of 28 days for these issues to be resolved to Your satisfaction. In the meantime, your Majesty, I remain, BARRYMORE Michael Barrymore AASA, DFC, Solicitor at Law 2645 Gooliepully Road Stringalonga, TOCUMWAL,NSW,2714 Phone: (02) 9298 3777 Fax: (02) 9298 3780
PRINCE EMMANUEL	Subject: THANKS &APPRECIATION FOR THE ATTENTION OF HER MAJESTY, PRINCESS MARGARET, YOUR MAJESTY, YOUR ESTEEMED FAVOURED RESPONSE DATED 20TH JAN. 2003 HAS BEEN RECIEVED AND THE CONTENTS THEREIN NOTED WITH CARE. " THOSE WHO CULTIVATE AND PROPAGATE THE SOIL HEAPS UP THEIR HARVEST; HIDDEN WISDOM AND UNSEEN TREASURE, OF WHAT VALUE IS EITHER?. IN COMPLIANCE WITH YOUR REQUEST, I WISH TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU DIRECT BECAUSE YOU ARE THE PRINCESS OF PEACE AND LOVE. AS A MOTHER OF PEACE OF THE WORLD, AND MOTHERS ALWAYS KNOWS WHEN THEIR BABY NEED FOOD WHENEVER HE/SHE CRY AND ALSO MOTHERS ARE MORE CARING THAT FATHER. IN THIS RESPECT, WE ARE COMPELLED TO REQUEST FOR YOU TO OVERWHELM US WITH YOUR WARM-HEARTED LOVE. AS MATTER OF FACT, YOU ARE EXPECTED TO SEND US ANY AMOUNT OF CASH AS A MATTER OF URGENCY AS A PRIMARY STEP AS THE SAID PROJECT IS EXPECTED TO COMMENCE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. WE WILL THEREIN TO BE UP-DATING YOU WITH THE REPORTS OF THE ON-GOING PROCESS OF THE PROJECT. IN DUE TIME YOU WILL BE OFFICIALLY INVITED IN THE GAMBIA AS SOON AS THE COMPLETION OF THE PROJECT IS PERFECTED FOR THE OPENING CEREMONY OF THE CENTRE. IF YOU REQUIRE FURTHER INFORMATION OR CLARIFICATION IN ANY POINT, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK. YOU CAN CONTACT ME WITH MY DIRECT TELEPHONE FOR ORAL EXPLANATION (00220-910974) IF NEEDED BE. THANKING YOU FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED COOPERATION. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. YOURS FAITHFULLY PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT/CEO--UNICON
January 22, 2003
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince I am delighted to hear from you and naturally pleased to hear from you that matters are proceeding so splendidly. Once the various queries raised by Mr Barrymore have been resolved, then I think I can assign funding to your worthy projects. I would indeed a visit to your fair country, although naturally various security issues would have to be taken into consideration, as I am sure you understand. Please note that I may have to attend a commonwealth conference at Mbebolongawank soon and so a journey to your part of the world seems likely anyway. I look forward to hearing from you again and seeing progress in this matter. Please have your office phone line checked, as my office say it has proved unobtainable. Margaret
M. Montague Barrymore	To: HRH Princess Margaret Cc: prince_iaewp@37.com Subject: No News Your Royal Highness The Prince has neither replied or acknowledged my concerns viz-a-vis his documentation. Is the 28 days window acceptable to you or shall I assume this fellow is wasting our time or put it down to administrative delays at his end? The letter you have forwarded from Mr Abacha sounds much more promising an investment, if I may say so. MONTAGUE
January 23, 2003
PRINCE EMMANUEL	My Dearest Margaret, Than you very much for your understanding and consideration and note that we are charitable organization and because of your potential contribution towards the affair of god and Humanity that we humbly require for your unreserved assistance. In this respect, anything you can give us from your heart is highly appreciated. I don't think if there is need for much protocol about this issue as other institution are also contributing with the little as they can. Looking Forward to the pleasure of your compliance. May God Bless you Yours Faithfully PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH--UNICON NB, THIS IS OUR BANK FOR RECEIVING MONEY ANY WHERE IN THE WORLD: BELGOLAISE BANK SAóLONDON BRANCH 6TH FLOOR CAMOMILE COURT 23 CAMOMILE STREET LONDON EC-3A 7PP UK ACCOUNT OF FIRST INTERNATIONAL BANK LTD ACCOUNT NUMBER:0090035/041-000-826-GBP FOR FURTHER CREDIT TO: UNICON: C/o-PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH ACCOUNT NUMBER: 0010204002-01. BANK : FIRST INTERNATIONAL BANK (FIB) BANJUL&ocute;THE- GAMBIA.
January 24, 2003
Princess Margaret	Cc: Michael Barrymore My Dear Prince Emmanuel A pleasant surprise to hear from you again so promptly, and yes We quite understand the pressing nature of so many of your charitable aims. However, it really is no good rushing matters too quickly my dear chap. A donation to your excellent cause by the Palace can be done quickly and smoothly just once some elements of protocol are in place and the formalities are dealt with. Specifically Mr Barrymore has some points which need clarification, and I believe that he has already sent you a transcript. Please hurry to satisfy his interest in the matter, as I have already taken the liberty of withdrawing a substantial amount in your favour from the Palace No.1 account, and in fact have it ready on the regency card table in front of me. I have noted the details of your bank account and as soon as these aforementioned matters are resolved, then I will have my footman Hives pop over to Camomile Street and pay in the sum to your benefit. (There will be also be a little extra, as I feel your scheme deserves everything it gets.) We must really get you over for one our splendid garden parties, by the way, perhaps with your lovely wife or sister? Do tell us when there is an available space in your diary. MARGARET
January 31, 2003
PRINCE EMMANUEL NonGovernmental Organization" [prince_iaewp@37.com]	To: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: HOW FAR? FOR THE ATTENTION OF HER MAJESTY; PRINCESS MARGARET, I WRITE TO KNOW HOW FAR YOU HAVE GONE WITH THE PROCESS AND WHAT IS GOING ON?. WE ARE STILL WAITING AS REGARD TO YOUR PROMISE. FAITHFULLY YOURS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH--UNICON
Princess Margaret	My dear Prince All is arranged. It merely remains to tidy up a few formalities, like the temporary Oath of Allegience. Is this ready to be sent to My equirry? MARGARET
February 3, 2003
PRINCE EMMANUEL	Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST MARGARET, I'VE FULLY ENGULFED WITH YOUR LOVING-KINDNESS AND MY HEART ROTTENLY TOTTERED BECAUSE OF YOU. I PRAYED ALL DAY THAT THE ALMIGHTY GOD SHOULD PROTECT YOU, OFFER YOU THE BEST SECURITY YOU MIGHT NEEDED BE ABOVE ALL,PEACE, HEALTH AND TO PROPER YOUR WAYS, STEPS AND DOINGS. GRANT THAT YOUR HEART DESIRE MAY BE AMPLY FULFILLED AND LET YOUR WISHES BE SATISFIED EVEN THIS DAY IN JESUS NAME- AMEN!-REFERENCE TO THE GOD'S PROMISES IN (DEUTERONOMY:28,7-13. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE IN THE BRIGHT PROCESS OF FEW FORMALITIES, LIKE THE TEMPORARY "OATH OF ALLEGIENCE" BUT I DON'T FULLY COMPREHENDED WHAT YOU MEANT; IS THIS READY TO BE SENT TO YOUR EQUERRY?,PLEASE EDUCATE AND ADVISE. HOW LONG WOULD THE PROCESS TAKE, IS IT NOT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO SEND US SOME PART OF THE FUND TO START AS A PRIMARY STEP?. REMAIN BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH--UNICON
February 4, 2003
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince, The thought of your tottering has greatly warmed my heart. The Oath of Allegience is simply a statement of good faith between us which has to be signed, scanned and returned to My office before matters can proceed. There is a tradition here of securing loyalty to the throne from our business partners and this will apply here. Once this formality is completed, then I can authorise the release of a few thousand Golden Sovereigns from the Palace account for your immediate succourment. Best wishes MARGARET
PRINCE EMMANUEL	MY DEAREST PRINCESS, THANKS FOR YOUR ESTEEMED FAVOURED RESPOSE AND THE CONTENTS THEREIN NOTED WITH CARE. IN COMPLIANCE WITH YOUR REQUEST,PLEASE PREPARE THE AFORE-SAID DOCUMENTS ,ie,THE OATH AND SEND TO US TO UNDERSIGN IN CONFORMITY WITH YOUR REQUEST. THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION AND WISHES YOU AND YOUR COLLEAGUES THE VERY BEST. REMAINED BLESSED.
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince Here is the standard wordage of the Oath. It should be printed out onto letter headed paper, signed and dated (notorised if at all possible) and returned to My office forthwith as an attachment or couriered item: "I .... , being of sound mind and body, do swear humble merkin and fey feasiance to the service of Her Gracious Majesty Princess Margaret, to the test in all Her issue and dominion, pursuaint in this moment of our right royal business. (signed) (date) Be so good as to trot off with this to do it as quickly as possible. MARGARET
February 6, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST PRINCESS, IN ACCORDANCE WITH YOUR REQUEST,PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED DETAILS OF THE SAID OATH FOR YOUR PERUSAL ACTION. THANKS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH--UNICON
Princess Margaret	[I am delighted that the Prince has signed his Oath of Allegience, thus proving himself a right merkin.]
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST PRINCESS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR WARM HEARTEDNESS, MOUTH CAN NOT SAY HOW GRATEFUL IAM, I APPRECIATE EVERY THING YOU DO. PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED DETAIL OF THE SAID OATH FOR YOUR PERUSAL ACTION. LOOKING FORWARD FOR YOUR RESPONSE SOONEST. REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH-UNICON
February 7, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST PRINCESS, I WRITE TO CONFIRM IF YOU HAVE RECEIVE THE OATH DOCUMENT IN WHICH I SENT TO YOU YESTERDAY IN ACCORDANCE WITH YOUR REQUEST,HOW FAR?. LOOKING FORWARD FOR YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE SOONEST. REMAINED BLESSED. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH--UNICON
Princess Margaret	Cc: Lady Agatha Bristol My Dear Prince Yes We have received the Oath of Allegience, and it all looks perfectly satisfactory My dear chap. Naturally matters are now considerably expedited and it won't be long before the golden dorks will be in our hands in order to bring forwards your charitable works. The fine details of the transfer, with your gracious permission I will leave to My Lady-in-Waiting, Dame Agatha Bristol. She is also in charge of the Palace petty cash store and so is closer to the ingots and such what nots than I. She is adept at organising this sort of thing and I am sure you will be in safe hands. She has been appraised of the situation, and knows exactly what you deserve. MARGARET
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE	To: Princess Margaret Cc: prince_iaewp@37.com Your Most Esteemed Royal Highness, Thank you for this honour. But this so-called Prince, I'm sure, is just a ghastly tribesman sat in internet cafe in Bongo-Bongo land with a cheap cigar. Indeed, Lord Munro amusingly described him as a 'shoulder-pad wearing shyster'. However, as Holder of the Bed Pan and Head of the Royal Treasury I am duty bound to help. But I urge caution. LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Princess Margaret	Lady Agatha I am prepared to give Prince Amrug the benefit of the doubt on this for the time being, as he has been so kind to sign the Oath of Allegience (has this been deposited with Sir Marmite?). This, together with his undoubted aristocractic mein and the professional nature of his supporting documentation are very reassuring. Perhaps he may accept an invitation to one of our little soirees at the Palace and we can enjoy the pleasure of his Highness' company. I believe there is a suitable event for the investiture of Sir Shorten-Kurllys shortly? I suggest that we add a bit ontop of the originally suggested donation in recognition of this fine fellow's sterling work. Please check on the dorks situation. MARGARET
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE	To: Princess Margaret Cc: prince_iaewp@37.com Your Highness, Sir Marmite reports that he has received the Oath, and his satisfied with it. I have also contaced Sir Shorten Kurllys and he is not too pleased at the thought of a village dweller encroaching on his investiture. Indeed, he remarked to me that 'speak chuckers are not welcome, Aggie, you know that. They and their voodoo witch doctors can stay where they are in fuzzy-wuzzyland'. We are in contact with many dorks at the moment, and I am pleased to say that we also have a large supply of €100 notes and Golden Euros. Your Highness, will we be required to travel? If so, may I suggest that Agent Ilichy Miracsky of the Special Operations Department at the Foreign Office be contacted? Yours ever, LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Princess Margaret	Cc: prince_iaewp@37.com My Dear Lady Agatha Thank you for the prompt reply. I would have popped along to see you myself with further instructions, but you know how My callipers can scratch the parquet flooring. I feel I ought to apologise for Sir Shorten's remarks, which are unfortunate, and best seen in the light of his illness. As travel, the Prince has not extended this generous offer, but I am sure that is is a pleasurable idea. Prince Wayne is particularly keen to be out an about more after the unfortunate affair at the school glamour photography club. Let us have ready the dorks, as in any case as I am sure the Prince will want gold as being more negotiable. u may secure them in the Palace vault. The Prince may wish to suggest more arrangements direct, If so please copy Me in before I rush off to Shagulreeka for the badger baiting this weekend. MARGARET
Lady Agatha	To: Princess Margaret Cc: prince_iaewp@37.com Your Most Esteemed Royal Highness, Thank you for your instructions. The Dorks are ready and awaiting transportation. Does the Prince favour Darjeeling or Oranje Pekoe? The Jap's Eye china set was, I am pleased to say, undamaged from the Newman Affair last week. I am assuming, of course, that the Prince is used to using eating implements. Her Majesty would like to visit the Prince and his fellow villagers. Perhaps there is a local elder we can greet or a market we can buy trinkets at. Please instruct me. Yours, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
February 8, 2003
Princess Margaret	To: Agatha Bristol Cc: prince_iaewp@37.com Admirable of you to be ready so quickly Lady Agatha. I am sure the Prince will fill in all the gaps. I imagine that Lapsong Suchong may be his tipple. MARGARET
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret MR DEAREST PRINCESS, HAPPY TO HEAR YOUR WARM HEARTED WORD WHICH HAS INTANTLY INSPIRED A LOT OF HOPE IN ME.NB, IAM READY TO JOIN YOU WHEREVER YOU WANT ME TO. REMAINED BLESSED. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
February 9, 2003
Princess Margaret	To: prince_iaewp@37.com Cc: Agatha Bristol My Dear Prince Splendid news indeed. By now Lady Agatha will, I am sure, have matters well in hand. You may rest assured that you will get whatever is coming to you. Incidentally, I will be going shopping at the Palace jewellers shortly, Shall I pick up a little something extra for your good self or your lovely wife? They do a splendid range of diamond watches which light up in the dark. MARGARET
February 10, 2003
Princess Margaret	To: prince_iaewp@37.com Cc: Agatha Bristol Helloo Prince Lady Agatha has told me that there has been a delay in our plans. I am sure she has all the details. MARGARET
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret MY DEAREST PRINCESS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR EFFORTS;AS I TOLD YOU BEFORE IAM A SINGLE MAN NOT YET MARRIED. IAM LOOKING FOR A RESPONSIBLE WOMAN FOR INTRODUCTION.FEEL FREE TO SEND ANY NICE GIFT YOU WISH TO, FOR ME AND MY COLLEAGUES. FAITHFUL FRIEND ARE A STURDY SHELTER,WHOEVER FINDS ONE LIKE YOU HAS FOUND A TREASURE. FAITHFUL FRIEND ARE BEYOND PRICE; NO AMOUNT CAN BALANCE THEIR WORTHS. I WISH, LET MY FOOT WEAR OUT YOUR DOOR STEP. LOOKING FORWARD TO CONFIRM THE FUND IN THE ACCOUNT SOONEST AS TO SET-UP THE TRAINING CENTER WITH YOUR POWER IN ACCORDANCE WITH. REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH-UNICON
Princess Margaret	My dear Prince Ahuru A please to hear back from you so promptly. Things are rather hectic here at the Palace, what with the imminence of the state jumble sale, so I will perforce be brief. Have you had the documentation from our financial advisor Michael Barrymore vis a viz the transfer of funds? We have golden dorks for you aplenty, my friend. Thank you for your charming aphorisms which I will make a careful note of. If you seriously seek a wife then perhaps you may consider discussing terms with my Chamberlain Sir Marmite concerning our lovely Princess Candy. She is of an age now and desperately seeks a husband. I can offer some personal details should you require them and, as far as I am aware, she is pure. MARGARET
February 11, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST BELOVED PRINCESS, I HAVE NOT RECEIVED ANY DOCUMENT FROM FINANCIAL ADVISOR, MR. MICHAEL BARRYMORE, BUT WHY SO MUCH PROTOCOL AND DOCUMENTATION?. INFACT THE NATURE OF YOUR LOVE KINDNESS HAD HAVE FULLY OVERWHELMED ME. YOU HAVE SHOWED ME THE KINDNESS THAT CAN NEVER BE FORGETTON ON EARTH AND IN HEAVEN. IAM NOW ENGULFED IN THE DEEP OCEAN OF LOVE SWIMMING EAST, WEST, SOUTH AND NORTH BUT NO WAY I BEGIN TO WONDER HOW DEEP AND DEEPER THE OCEAN IS BECOMING. AS MATTER OF FACT YOU ARE ONLY ONE I KNOW REGARDLESS OF AGE, OLD OR YOUNG WHO HAVE USED THE INSTRUMENT OF LOVE TO UNDERPINNED MY HEART IS COMPLETELY TOTTERED THERETO. AS FOR PRINCESS CANDY; NOTE, ANY THING I HAVE TO DO MUST BE AUTHORISED AND APPROVED BY YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE TAKEN THE APPLE AND THE KEY OF MY HEART ALL I CARE FOR NOW IS TO DESIGN AND DEVELOP THE BEST INSTRUMENT FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. IS PRINCESS CANDY YOUR WISH?, LET YOUR WISH BE DONE GO-AHEAD AND ARRANGE THINGS IN ORDER IN RESPECT OF THIS, I�M EVER-READY WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO DO AND NOTE THAT YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS AND MEANT A LOT TO ME, I�M PROUD OF YOU. I HAVE COMMENCED THE FURTHER ARRANGEMENT FOR SETTING-UP THE TRAINING CENTER AS SOON AS THE FUND IS BEING CONFIRMED AND RECEIVED FROM MY BANK. YOU WILL BE ALWAYS FURNISH WITH THE REPORTS OF THE ON-GOING PROCESS OF THE PROGRAMME. THANKS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION, UNDERSTANDING AND COOPERATION. REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH (UNICON)
Princess Margaret	[ He must be on something - or has he realised? ] My Dear Prince How splendid to hear from you so promtply about the matters in hand. May I thank you for your interest in Princess Candy and as soon as I texted her with news of you (she is currently on extended vacation at Holloway), she was delighted. Before the matter of a union can be contemplated however we will need to confirm some elements of family pedigree. Perhaps you would prefer in the short term however if she was to communicate with you herself? This would simplify matters and strengthen the bond between two lovers. If you feel that this is too forward, please let me know and nothing will be taken amiss. I have spoken to the royal bankers and the golden dorks will soon be in your hands for the full benefit of your charitable enterprises. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance. Have you heard from Mr Barrymore? I know it is a nuisance, but he likes to dot his 'I's and cross his 'T's in every venture I authorise. He needs questions resolved before he returns to Willywonk. MARGARET
February 12, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST BELOVED PRINCESS, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?, I HAVE NOT HEARD OR RECEIVED ANY DOCUMENT FROM MR.MICHAEL BARRYMORE; CAN'T YOU AUTHORISED OR USE YOUR POWER SO AS FOR THE NECESSARY ACTION TO BE EXPEDITED?. AS FOR PRINCESS CANDY; I AGREED WITH YOU FOR ANY STEP OR ACTION TAKEN BY YOU IN THIS REGARD. I WOULD OF COURSE LIKE TO OFFICIALLY VISIT YOU YOU AS SOON AS THE TRAINING CENTER IS BEING ESTABLISHED THEREAFTER YOU AND CANDY AS WELL AS YOUR COLLEAGUES WILL ALSO VISIT MY PARENT AS WELL AS MY RELATIVES. PLEASE CAN I ASK A QUESTION;PRINCESS CANDY IS SHE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND WARM-HEARTED?; THESE BECAUSE YOU HAVE PRACTICALLY COMBINED THE TWO KNOWN ELEMENT HANDSOME AND BEAUTY TO CREATE A POWERFUL DEVOTIONAL TOOLS. WITH KINDEST PERSONAL REGARDS, I REMAIN REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
February 13, 2003
Princess Margaret	Cc: M. Montague Barrymore My Dear Prince Please accept my apologies for the tardiness for the uncharacteristic delay in hearing from Mr Barrymore. He is currently involved in the legal technicalities surrounding the Llareggub Dam which has been a big project and this may have distracted him. However I have sent him a reminder and no doubt he will wish to contact you shortly. In regards to Princess Candy, you may rest assured that she is a charming girl, well brought up, elegant and fairly attractive. A buxom lass, she is often to be seen riding with Sir Shorten Curleys and is a well known all round good sport. I will more than happy to send you her picture or ask the Princess to write to you directly if you feel this is the right time. The Princess has a dowry of some €500,000 which reflects the value we place upon her happiness. Best wishes, Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
M. Montague Barrymore	Subject: RE CHARITABLE ALLOCATION 2737.7AN Dear Prince Her Majesty has correctly surmised that I have a few quibbles about your projections and agreement. Viz: 1. Is the Quim Prococ in full validity? I have not heard this mentioned and it seems a fair assumption. PLEASE VERIFY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AS WE NEED A QUIM in this instance. 2. In the case of per interim disclosure of funds and assets, what finanical safeguards are in ennuity? Some of the relevant promulgations and acts may apply in this case and it is best to make this known. 3. The Oath of Allegience has bee completed, is this a van deferens expediency or does the full neb com of such matters apply (please check with the original e-mail). 4. Her Majesty is to remain as an obscure partner at all times in this business and any reductivo ad absurdum of this purely quo vivo status will result in support being withdrawn. 5. Please send a copy of your passport and any authorisation documents by courier to this office within 10 days. In my absence my colleague Mike N Bernie Winters will be checking my mail and will be pleased to answer any questions. Regards BARRYMORE Michael Barrymore AASA, DFC, Solicitor at Law 2645 Gooliepully Road Stringalonga, TOCUMWAL,NSW,2714 Phone: (02) 9298 3777 Fax: (02) 9298 3780
Scamorama Comments	[You're probably wondering if Prince E. is having a bit of fun himself. We're wondering too.]
February 14, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST BELOVED PRINCESS, IAM READY TO SCORE THE GOALS AS SOON AS YOU KICK THE BALL ROLLING. IF A MAN IS ABLE TO KEEP HIS CROWN ON HIS HEAD, THEN HE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN A KING, RULER OVER HIS DESTINY. NOTE, ALL I CARE FOR IS YOUR HAPPINESS FOREVER, I HAVE SPOKE TO GOD ALMIGHTY ABOUT THIS ISSUE SO AS TO TAKE ABSOLUTE CONTROL HERE-OFF. I SHALL VE VERY MUCH OBLIGE IF YOU CAN KINDLY SEND ME THE PICTURE OF THE LOVED ONE(PRINCESS CANDY WHOM YOU AND GOD HAD HAVE CHOOSEN FOR ME AS A MATTER OF URGENCY AND I WOULD BE MOST HAPPIEST FOR HER TO WRITE TO ME DIRECTLY. AS REGARD TO MR. BARRYMORE, I HAVE FULLY UNDERSTOOD EVERY SITUATION, HOPING TO POSITIVELY HEAR FROM HIM SOONEST AS TO PUT IN PLACES THE RELEVANT INFRASTRUCTURES THAT WOULD ENHANCE THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THE AFORE-SAID TRAINING CENTRE ON YOUR BEHALF. REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Margaret	Subject: HRH to the prince My Dear Prince Yes, fine, true sentiments you have expressed. I enjoy a kick around with the footmen myself, dare I say it. But more importantly I understand that Mr Barrymore has outlined this remaining points of concern. Did you not receive them? i am worried that time is passing, your Highness. I have mentioned to Princess Candy that you have graciously permitted her to write to you direct, and she is very pleased to have been accorded that honour. No doubt you will hear from her soon. Please observe the nicities with our young lady as she is impressionable as I am sure you will understand. MARGARET
Princess Candy	[ Hello I have written to Prince Emmanuelle and I hope he finds me suitable marriage material. ] [Princess Candy enclosed a picture of herself - 15 or so, long black hair, and short shorts.] My Dear Prince My mother has told me that I should write and introduce myself. I am the Royal Princess Candice, and am delighted to make your acquaintance. I do not know what to say, except that I consider myself excellent in deportment, needlecraft and some sports. I have been educated at Rodean and have attained substantial attainments in my chosen specialisation, which is Physical Education. I am currently working under Sir Winalot at the Royal College of National Exercise in Brixton as part of a final year diploma programme. I am 20 this year. My other hobbies include modern dance and I have played hockey for the second Amateur British Women's Team in several countries. I have been modest with men. I am at the command of Her Majesty, and hope to hear from you shortly. Please feel free to ask any questions about my health, education, outlook on life or any other aspects you feel might be needful in this process. Candy x
February 16, 2003
Prince Emmanuel unicon1@netster.com	To: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: TECHNICAL PROBLEM MY DEAREST PRINCESS, THERE IS A TECHNICAL PROBLEMS WITH EMAIL-37.COM-COMPANY;PLEASE FORWARD YOUR MESSAGE WITH THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS. HOW FAR HAVE YOU GONE WITH THE ENTIRE PROCESS? HOW ABOUT PRINCESS CANDY?, THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
February 17, 2003
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince No problem my dear fellow. Have you heard from Candy? She has written to you I believe and sent her picture. Please put the young lady's mind at rest as she is rather nervous. Margaret
February 19, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	To: "Princess Margaret" Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST PRINCESS, THANKS FOR THE GREATEST GOLDEN OFFER,I HIGHLY APPRECIATE AND I'M READY TO COMPLY TO HER TUNE AS REGARD TO YOUR DECISSION. I HAVE WRITTEN TO HER HOPEFULLY HER MIND WILL BE AT REST. PLEASE GO-AHEAD AND ARRANGE THINGS IN ORDER IN THIS REGARD I FULLY ACCEPTED HER WITH MY WHOLE HEART.I WILL SCAN MY PICTURE AND SEND TO HER TOMORROW. HOW ABOUT MR. BARRYMORE?. REMAINED BLESSED. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince Well this is excellent news, and I am sure that when I tell the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Crippen, he will be thrilled. There will be a couple of formalities before the agreement is signed, medical inspections of both parties, pedigree search and some paperwork to be processed by our Constitutional Lawyer Sir Michael Barrymore, currently in Australia, but I am sure things will run smoothly. I will look forward to seeing your picture. Please copy it to the Princess if you would. Do you prefer a C of E service, or do you have your own local ecumenical requirments. While I do not think we can have Westminster Abbey for this, perhaps Butlins Cathedral would be satisfactory for you? MARGARET
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST PRINCESS, THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION AND HOW ABOUT MR.BARRYMORE?. PLEASE FIND ATTACHED MY PERSONAL PICTURE WITH WHICH I HAVE ALSO SENT TO PRINCESS CANDY. LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU AS TO PUT IN PLACE THE RELEVANT INFRASTRUCTURE THAT WOULD ENHANCE THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THIS ISSUE HERE-OFF. REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Prince Emmanuel	Subject: I LOVE U MY DEAREST BELOVED PRINCESS CANDY, THANKS FOR YOUR INTRODUCTION, YOUR MOTHER HAD HAVE ALREADY SMOOTHENED THE WAY FOR YOU IN THIS REGARD; SHE HAS KICKED THE BALL ROLLING AND I'M HEREBY READY TO SCORE THE GOALS IN ACCORDANCE WITH. IAM A YOUNG MAN WITH EXTENSIVE VISION, I FEARED GOD AND I LIKE TO WALK THROUGH HIS WAY, I'M HERE ON EARTH FOR GOD'S MISSION AND I SINCERELY HOPE YOU ARE READY TO JOIN ME PROMOTE THE WORK OF GOD AND HUMANITY?. HAVING GONE THROUGH YOUR BEAUTIFUL PICTURE, INFACT I WAS HIGHLY OVERWHELMED WITH THE CHARMIC ANGLES IN YOUR BODY WHICH HAD HAVE INSTANTLY INSPIRED A LOT OF HOPE IN ME. YOUR MOTHER HAVE SHOWED ME HER LOVINGKINDNESS AND WARM-HEARTEDNESS WITH WHICH I CAN NEVER FORGET HOPE YOU WILL EMULATE THESAME WAY TOO?. NB, LOVE IS TREMENDOUS, SHOW ME THAT KIND OF LOVE. IN COMBING MY FACT, I AIMED AT EFFECTIVENESS(I LOVE U MY PRINCESS CANDY WITH MY WHOLE-HEART). IT WOULD BE NICE IF MY LETTER COULD BE A CHEERFUL ONE. LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. YOURS CARE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH FOUNDER,PRESIDENT/CEO UNICON--UNIVERSAL CONSORTIUM FOR REDUCTION OF UNEMPLOYMENT/STARVATION AND ADVANCEMENT OF SKILLS ACQUISITION # 9 LONG STREET BANJUL-THE GAMBIA TEL"220-910974 FAX:220-226300 NB: I WILL SCAN MY PICTURE AND SEND TO YOU TOMORROW.
Princess Candy	My Prince I am overwhelmed by your kind words. Having just been prompted by Her Royal Highness to check my mail, to discover such overflowing terms of affection has made my tiny heart a vessel which beats fit to burst. Lets us grow closer over the coming weeks and months and see if this love truly blossoms as I know it will as you are so kind and gracious. I have seen your picture and you are a fine gentle, strong and true man whom any Princess would favour with her hand in marriage. Let me your svelte sapling, swayed by the wind of your emotion. Your Candy
Prince Emmanuel	Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST PRINCESS, HAVE YOU RECEIVED THE REPLY OF YESTERDAY?; PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED MY PERSONAL PICTURE FOR YOUR PERUSAL ACTION. THOUGH IT SEEMS THAT THE SCANNING PICTURE IS NOT CLEAR, WOULD YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE IT THROUGH POSTAL MAIL?. YOURS CARE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Candy	My Dear Prince I have your image and have printed it out. If you have a proper, framed copy (perhaps signed with some small bon mot of love :-)) then I would be overjoyed as this was rather purple. I would place it next to my bed, alongside the photo given to me by Sir Marmite. By all means post this, my love, or courier it as you see fit and I will daily wait for delivery of such a treasure. I am so excited! Your Candy xx
February 20, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST BELOVED PRINCESS, INFACT YOU HAVE ENGULFED ME WITH THE POWER OF LOVE ALL I HAVE TO DO IS THINKING OF YOU, YOU HAVE MADE ME SLEEPLESS NIGHT I WISH IF I CAN SEE YOU NOW BECAUSE MY BODY IS HUNGRY AND URGENT FOOD IS NEEDED FROM YOU. I LOVE YOU WITH MY ENTIRE HEART MY PRINCESS. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST?. YOURS CARE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
February 22, 2003
Princess Candy	My Dear Prince Did you get my last message? I have not heard from you again. I too am afire thinking that perhaps you will sometime be my handsome husband. What do I like most in men do you mean? Why that would have to be honesty, kindess, ardour and romance. What us it, my dear Prince which you value the most in a woman? Tell me so that I may work towards your ideal mate. Your Candy
Prince Emmanuel	To: "Princess Margaret" MY DEAREST PRINCESS, PLEASE GO-AHEAD AND PREPARE ALL THE NECESSARY INSTRUMENT IN THIS REGARD ACCORDING TO YOUR WISH, IAM FOR YOU AND NOTE THAT I'M A PRESERVED CHILD. PRINCESS CANDY HAVE ALSO WRITTEN TO ME AND I'M COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED. REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
February 23, 2003
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince What is the new at you end My dear chap? How is your wooing of the Princess Candy proceeding? I cannot get a sensible word out of the girl but by the way she moons dreamy eyed around the palace at Popadum it appears some magic must be forming. Have you replied to Barrymore yet? Our main business needs to be attended to, am I am conscious that time is slipping away. Please expedite both matters my good man! Margaret
Prince Emmanuel	To: Princess Candy Subject: I LOVE U MY BELOVED PRINCESS, PLEASE RE-SEND THE SAID MESSAGE BACK I DIDN'T GOT IT. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE DEEPNESS OF SEA?, THAT IS HOW THE DEEPNESS OF MY LOVE TO YOU IS WITH WHICH I WILL SINK YOU THEREIN WITH DUE RESPECT. I CANNOT FURTHER DETAIL OR RETAIL WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU UNTIL WE COMBINE THE TWO KNOWN ELEMENTS "FIRE AND WATER " TO CREATE A POWERFUL DEVOTIONAL TOOLS. MY PROMISE TO IS, I'M READY TO COMPLY TO YOUR TUNE AND TO MAKE YOU A WOMAN. IN FURTHERANCE TO THE NATURAL VALUE OF WOMEN, AS REGARD TO THE GOD'S WORD; 1 CORINTHIANS 7:3, EPHESIANS 5:31 - - - 5:22, 23 ------- 5:25 ------- 5:28 ------- 5:33 COLOSSIANS 3:18,19 PLEASE EXTEND MY GREETINGS TO YOUR MOTHER AND NOTE THAT IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU CAN SEND ME YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. YOURS-IN-LOVE PRINCE
February 24, 2003
Princess Candy	My Dear Prince I have been thinking of you a lot recently and have begun to pine because I am being neglected. Please write and tell me more about yourself. How many palaces do you own? Do you have any horses? I love riding and spend ours with our stable lad in the paddock. I have a favourite pony Manfred, whom I ride whenever I can get away and spend some time at Popadum. Last night there was something of a ball at the Palace and I saw Margaret looking beautiful in her blue chiffon and lemon outfit. She was dancing with her Chamberlain Sir Marmite cheek to cheek and created quite a stir! Please write soon and reassure your beloved that all is well with you my beloved. Your Candy
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST SWEET HEART, WHAT DO YOU MEANT BY BEING NEGLECTED?,NOTE I HAVE FULLY GIVEN MY LIFE TO YOU IT IS UP TO YOU NOW. IAM THE FOUNDER AND THE PRESIDENT OF (UNICON) I HOPE YOU KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATON?, THESE CAN LEAD US TO ANY WHERE IN THE WORLD.ME AND YOU CAN WORK EVERY TOGETHER FOR THE BETTERMENT OF OUR FUTURE AS WELL AS FUTURE OF OUR CHILDREN. I THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE AND NOT THE PRESENCE, WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED?, DON'T YOU APPRECIATE HAVING ME AS YOUR LIFE FUTURE HUSBAND?. I HAVE PROMISED YOU, DON'T YOU TRUST GOD?. FOR THE HORSE, MY FAHTER IS THE TRADITIONAL RULER OF OUR REGION WE HAVE A LOT OF COWS AND HORSE SO FEEL FREE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?. LOOKING FORWAR TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. YOURS-IN-LOVE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
February 25, 2003
Princess Candy	My Dear Prince I am delighted to hear from you again my darling let us keep more in touch as the time of our nuptials draws closer. I am eager to know more about the husband that fate has picked out for me. What sort of food do you like, what to wear, and how would your ideal wife serve you? Would I find a place at your side at Unicon? Where abouts do you live, and how many rooms does your palace have? The news that your family has so much live stock is very interesting and I am trying to see myself fitting to the grand scheme of things. I have a favourite horse too and long to spend long hours grooming him in the stables. Have you been married before, my prince, and how old are you? I cannot tell exactly from your picture, which I have now pinned up over my four poster at Popadum. Your Candy
Prince Emmanuel unicon1@netster.com	MY SWEET HERAT, THANKS FOR YOR INFORMATIVE MESSAGE; AS REGARD TO YOUR REQUEST,I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BE THE INTERNATIONAL PRESIDENT OF THE ORGANIZATION SO THAT THE PRESIDENT AND HIS WIFE THE VICE PRESIDENT WILL BE TOGETHER IN ANY INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE THAT WILL BE HELD,HOPE YOU LIKE IT?. I LIKE EXPENSIVE CORPORATE DRESSES AND EXPENSIVE SHOES AND WRIST WATCH INFACT ANY THING GOOD GENERALLY, CAN YOU GET SOME FOR ME?. MY SWEET HEART FEEL FREE IAM FOR YOU FOREVER, I PROMISE. I LOVE YOU PRINCE
February 26, 2003
Princess Candy	Subject: To My Prince Dearest, My heart's desire is to please you. I can obtain some lovely Wild Thornberries watches from the royal jewellers in Hatton Garden if you would like them. As for the other items it will be my pleasure too, but please supply ur waist and foot size. What colour best go with your eyes, my sweet? Do you prefer braces or a belt with your pants? CANDY xx
Prince Emmanuel	MY SWEET HEART, YOU ASKED SOME MILD QUESTION WHICH I FORGOT TO ANSWER DURING MY REPLY YESTER DAY: 1. I HAVE NEVER MARRIED BEFORE AND NOTE THAT IAM A PRESERVED CHILD. 2.MY AGE WILL BE 27-BY OCTOBER 15, 2003 3.I LIKE AFRICAN FOOD AS WELL AS FOREIGN FOOD. 4. MY HOBBY IS TRAVELLING AND SWIMING AS WELL AS FOOTBALL AND I LIKE EXPENSIVE DRESSES, SHOES, WRIST WATCHES AND EXPENSIVE CARS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE UNICON PROJECT PROPOSAL? MY SWEET HEART FEEL FREE ALL IS WELL JUST TRUST GOD; I WILL BE WITH YOU FOREVER,I PROMISE. YOURS-IN-LOVE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
Prince Emmanuel unicon1@netster.com	To: "Princess Margaret" MY DEAREST MARGARET, THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION; PRINCESS CANDY HAVE REPLIED TO ME EXPRESSING HER APPRECIATION SENSIBLY INDICATING HER HIGH LEVEL OF OPERATION IN THE VINEYARD OF �LOVE AFFAIR� WITH WHICH I HAVE VEHEMENTLY OFFERED HER AN IRREVOCABLE PROMISE.. AS MATTER OF FACT, THE GAME REMAINS AT YOUR OWN SIDE TO KICK THE BALL ROLLING. PLEASE I WOULD ALSO LIKE YOU TO EDUCATE HER MORE ON MY BEHALF AS REGARD TO YOUR WIDE EXPERIENCE. I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM MR. .BARRYMORE, I WONDER WHY HE FELT SO RELUCTANT ABOUT THIS ISSUE, WHAT IS GOING ON?. IN THIS RESPECT, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS VERY SIMPLE INDEED; SEND ANY AMOUNT OF CASH WITHIN YOUR REACH TO START PURCHASING SOME OF THE NEEDED MATEREIALS FOR THE TRAINING CENTRE THERE FORE GO TO THE BANK SEND AS YOU CAN TO START OR POSSIBLY SEND THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER FOR FASTER DELIVERY AND FORWARD THE SECRET CONTROL NUMBER FOR THE SAFETY CLEARANCE IN DUE TIME THE MAIN GOLDEN DORK CAN BE SENT TO US IN ACCORDANCE WITH. AS REGARD TO WHAT IS NEW AT MY SIDE; NB, THIS IS THE FULL STORY ABOUT MY LIFE THAT COMMITTED ME INTO HUMANITARIAN WORK IN ORDER TO PLEASE THE ALMIGHTY GOD IN COMPLIANCE WITH HIS REQUEST. IN BRIEF, ONE DAY GOD APPEARED TO ME (7-TIMES ) LIKE A VISION SAYING THAT HE LOVES ME REQUESTING THAT I MUST BENT DOWN MY SHOULDER TO SERVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND THAT HE WILL OVERTAKE ME WITH HIS BLESSINGS IF I OBEY HIM, HE MADE REFERENCED TO HIS WORD/PROMISES IN (DEUTERONOMY:28,1-14) THEREIN WITH ONE CONDITION, THE CONDITION IS THAT I MUST STAY AWAY FROM WOMEN UNTIL THE DAY I MARRY. SO, SINCE THEN I BEGAN TO FEAR THE LORD, AND THESE THINGS HAPPENED WHEN I WAS JUST (13-YEARS OLD), SO ,UP TILL NOW ,IAM A (VIRGIN). NATURALLY I KNOW ALL WHAT YOU DESERVED, IT�S NOT SURPRISED TO ME THAT GOD EVENTUALLY SENT ME TO YOU. AS YOU HAVE ALREADY WISHED TO SCRATCH MY BACK, I MUST ALSO SCRATCH YOURS TOO IN ANY FORM. MY BASIC FOCUS NOW IS TO VISIT YOU AND DIG OUT THAT �LOVE� IN YOUR EYES AND OF, FOR FURTHER CEREMONIAL EXECUTION OF THIS LONG FRUITFUL RELATIONSHIP OF OURS. SO TRY IF POSSIBLE TODAY SEND SOMETHING SPECIAL IN ORDER TO EXPEDITE ACTION AS A MATTER OF URGENCY. REMAINED BLESSED. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Margaret	To: unicon1@netster.com Cc: M. Montague Barrymore My Dear Prince As always a pleasure to hear from you and I am delighted that matters are proceeding apace with young Candice. As I mentioned before she is an impressionable young woman, much given to romantic whimsy, but I am confident that she will make you an excellent match when matters are settled. Will Popadum Abbey do for the ceremony, or would you prefer something more regal for a venue? Perhaps we can have the event in your own country? I am surprised that you have not heard from Mr Barrymore, although his work at the Willwonk Assizes do take up a fair bit of his time. Please feel free to give him a nudge. I presume that you have given him the answers to the various queries he raised or week or so back? He may simply be waiting these formalities to be settled. I have a substantial amount of Golden Dorks here in my office, docketd for your use, just as soon as Barrymore agrees. You will be pleased to know a small amount extra has been added through the good offices of my Chamberlain Sir Marmite. Your account of seeing God was most interesting. I reminded me of a time some years ago when I encountered the Virgin Mary at the Butlins Vestry. She laid a cool hand on my cheek and urged me to look favourably on charitable works of all kinds. Since then I have not looked back or regretted a day of it. Lord help you, Best wishes MARGARET
Prince Emmanuel	To: "Candice Windsor" Subject: I LOVE U MY DEAREST SWEET HEART, THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN, FEEL FREE WHATEVER GOOD FOR YOU IS ALSO GOOD FOR ME TOO, MY SHOES SIZE IS 43-44; ANY OTHER GOOD THINGS YOU FEEL LIKE TO SEND,ie, BELT, SUNGLASS, WRIST WATCH,CROSS-NECKLESS/BANGLE,T-SHIRTS, NECK-TIES,PANTS,ETC; DO IT I HIGHLY APPRECIATE THEM TOO. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU YOURS -IN-LOVE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
February 27, 2003
Princess Candy	Subject: To My Prince My Dear Prince I was hoping that would write again my darling and how joyous it was to check my box this morning and find something from you in it! I will make a careful note of your shoe size my dearest. I have noticed a lovely pair of crocodile skin loafers at Hermes in The Strand. They have a golden buckle and are recommended by the Prince of Wales. Would these make a lovely present for you? Please tell me your waist size and collar size so that I can make some other purchases when I am at Asda the tailors tomorrow. I believe that they have some bangles in my dearest, how many would you like and what sort of expensive dresses best go with the colour of your eyes? all my love your Candy xx
Prince Emmanuel	To: Princess Candy Subject: I LOVE U MY ONLY DEAREST SWEET HEART, THANKS FOR YOUR KINDNESS MY SIZE 32-33 JUST FEEL FREE TO PURCHASE WHATEVER YOU WISH TO, ANYTHING GOOD FOR YOU IS ALSO GOOD FOR ME TOO. DO YOU LIKE AFRICAN DRESS?, I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO HAVE YOUR FINGER SIZE FOR RING.IT WOULD BE NICE IF I CAN HAVE YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR ORAL DISCUSSION SO THAT I CAN HEAR YOUR SWEET VOICE. NOTE:HAPPY IS THE MAN OF A GOOD WIFE; THE NUMBER OF HIS DAYS WILL BE DOUBLED. A LOYAL WIFE BRINGS JOY TO HER HUSBAND, AND HE WILL COMPLTE HIS YEARS IN PEACE. A GOOD WIFE IS A GREAT BLESSING; SHE WILL BE GRANTED AMONG THE BLESSINGS OF THE MAN WHO FEARS THE LORD. WHETHER RICH OR POOR, HER HEART IS CONTENT, AND AT ALL TIMES HER FACE IS CHEERFUL. A WIFE'S CHARM DELIGHTS HER HUSBAND, AND HER SKILL PUTS FLESH ON HIS BONES. A MODEST WIFE ADDS CHARM TO CHARM, AND NO SCALES CAN WEIGH THE VALUE OF HER CHASTITY. LIKE THE SUN RISING IN THE HEIGHTS OF THE LORD, SO IS THE BEAUTY OF A GOOD WIFE IN HER WELL-ORDERED HOME. MY PRICESS, GOD HAVE REVEALED TO ME THE FACTORS OF SOME OF YOUR PROBLEMS. THE MESSAGE IS THAT YOU THINKS TOO MUCH BELIEVING THAT GOD CANNOT MAKE THE GREATEST WAY FOR YOU IN RESPECTIVE OF YOUR HAPPINESS. NOTE;THESE ARE THE PROMISES OF THE LORD FOR YOU IF YOU CAN OBEY AND TRUST HIM-READ, DEUTERONOMY:28,1-6. ARE YOU READY TO OBEY THE LORD?. NOW HERE YOU ARE, GOD HAVE A PARAMOUNT REASON FOR JOINING US TOGETHER TO BE HUSBAND AND WIFE AND NOTE THAT GOD IS TOO WISE, HE KNOWS WHAT TOMORROW AND THE FUTURE COULD BE. AS I INTIMATED YOU BEFORE,IAM A PRESERVED CHILD OF GOD, I HAVE NOT BEEN USED BY ANY WOMAN,-MEANT, IAM A VIRGIN, I DETERMINED THAT I CAN NEVER MAKE LOVE TO ANY WOMAN UNTIL I GET MARRIED AND I PRAYED TO ALMIGHTY GOD TO SEND ME A GOOD UNDERSTANDABLE CHEERFUL GOD FEARING WIFE. MY PRINCESS, NOW GOD HAVE SENT YOU TO ME,WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?. NOTE, YOU ARE THE ONLY WOMAN I HAVE KNOWN, YOU ARE THE FIRST AND TO BE THE LAST, I PROMISE YOU WITH THE NAME OF GOD. FOR MY SIDE ALL IS WELL FOR YOU FEEL FREE ONLY THING THAT REMAINS IS YOUR SIDE,ie,YOUR MOTHER PRINCESS MARGARET TO KICK THE BALL ROLLING AS REGARD TO HER PROMISE IN THE PROPOSITION PUT IN PLACE THE RELEVANT INFRASTRUCTURE THAT WILL VEHEMENTLY ENHANCE THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THIS ISSUE. MY BABY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT?,I WOULD LIKE OUR WEDDING CEREMONY TO BE HELD INSIDE PLANE AND THE CEREMONIALIZATION TO BE HELD INSIDE SHIP ON HIGH SEA AND CNN TO CARRY-OUT THE FOCUS ATLEAST AN HOUR.WHAT DO YOU THINK?. I HAVE NOTIFIED SOME OF THE MEMBERS OF MY ORGANIZATION ABOUT MY NEW GOD CHOOSEN WIFE AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY. NB, SOME OF THEM ARE IN NEED OF G.S.M MOBILE PHONES,PLEASE CAN YOU GET SOME FOR THEM?. MY ONLY BELOVED BABY, FEEL FREE JUST BE PRAYERFUL ALL IS WELL FOR YOU IN JESUS NAME, AMEN! YOURS-IN-LOVE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Candy	My Prince How lovely to hear from my dear darling again. I am sorry that I have not written before, my love but I sprained my ankles at the badger baiting championships at Wensleydale, and so was unable to make my way to the computer to read your messages. How I fretted and pined for news of my dear prince! During my time with my legs up I thought of you constantly, and longed to know what you were up to! In answer to your question, yes I love African costume. Is there something you buy for me for when we meet? Will it be chaste and wifely? I am size 9. I just adore the plans you have made for our wedding. Can you really get CNN and get Her Royal Highness to agree? It sounds so romantic!! I will try and find a secret phone number just for us, my sweet. So much here is overheard that I dont want our sweet nothings to made public!! Your Candy xxx
Princess Candy	My Dear Prince I was hoping that would write again my darling and how joyous it was to check my box this morning and find something from you in it! I will make a careful note of your shoe size my dearest. I have noticed a lovely pair of crocodile skin loafers at Hermes in The Strand. They have a golden buckle and are recommended by the Prince of Wales. Would these make a lovely present for you? Please tell me your waist size and collar size so that I can make some other purchases when I am at Asda the tailors tomorrow. I believe that they have some bangles in my dearest, how many would you like and what sort of expensive dresses best go with the colour of your eyes? all my love your Candy xx
February 28, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	Subject: I LOVE U Date: Fri, 28 Feb 2003 MY DEAREST SWEET HEART, PRINCE
March 3, 2003
Princess Candy	Dear Prince I am still suffering a bit (my previous message explains) but it is worth it just to write to you my darling. I have got the loafers and a fine pair of bespoke plus fours for you which I know you will love when you try then on. write soon xxxx
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST SWEET HEART, IT IS MY PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU THAT I WILL BE TRAVELLING TO THE NEIGHBOURING COUNTRY -DAKAR-SENEGAL THIS EVENING TO PARTICIPATE FOR A CONFERENCE ON ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION HELD BY COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT DU-SENEGAL. IN THIS RESPECT, I WILL NOT HAVE ACCESS TO E-MAIL OR TELEPHONE UNTIL ON MONDAY. HOPE YOU COMPREHEND?. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
Princess Candy	Dear Prince I understand my darling! Hurry back to me my sweet! xxxxx
Prince Emmanuel	To: Princess Margaret Subject: THANKS MY DEREST MARGARET, THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION BUT YOU HAVE NOT KICK THE BALL ROLLING AS EXPECTED TO. I HAVE CONTACTED MY BARRYMORE IN COMPLIANCE WITH YOUR REQUEST HERE ARE THE COPY OF THE AFORE-SAID MESSAGE: FOR THE ATTENTION OF MR. MICHAEL BARRYMORE, SIR, MAY IT PLEASE YOUR LORDSHIP, I HAVE THE HONOUR TO BRING TO YOUR FAVOURABLE NOTICE THE FRUITFUL WORK DONE BY HER MAJESTY, PRINCESS MARGARET IN RESPECTIVE OF THE HIGH LEVEL OF HER COMMITMENTS IN THE VINEYARD OF GOD AND HUMANITY. VAST AMOUNT OF WORKS HAS BEEN DONE BY HER, IAM PLEASED TO SAY, HAVE WORKED HARMONIOUSLY FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE AFORE-SAID PROGRAMME. I MAY ADD THAT MATTERS HAS BEEN CONSIDERABLY FERTILIZED ON WHOM THE CHIEF PART OF THE LABOUR, HAD MERITED THE HIGHEST APPRECIATION IN THE WAY SHE HAD HAVE HANDLED ISSUE TO ISSUES WITH WHICH I HAVE BEEN MANDATED BY HER TO GET YOU INFORMED, REQUESTING FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION, COOPERATION AND CONSIDERATION IN APPROVING THE FUNDS FOR THE ON-GOING PROJECT OF UNICON. LOOKING FORWARD FOR YOUR PROMPT AND AFFIRMATIVE RESPONSE. YOURS SINCERELY PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH PRESIDENT UNICON
Princess Margaret	Cc: M. Montague Barrymore My Dear Prince Time is slipping by and We have heard little from you. I understand from Candy that you have been in constant communication, which is splendid news. But do not let yourself be so besotted with her that you neglect more pressing business in hand. Barrymore awaits his answers and has been more than patient. I am surprised that you have so easily put business before pleasure sir. Do not let your charitable cause suffer sir, through more fleshly matters! Margaret
Prince Emmanuel	To: "Candice Windsor" MY DEAREST SWEET HEART, THANKS FOR YOUR SWEET RESPONSE I'M VERY HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU , I ARRIVED TODAY FROM THE SAID CONFERENCE AND EVERYTHING WENT WELL. BABY ALL I CARE FOR IS YOUR HAPPINESS,I WILL CONTACT A QUALIFIED TAILOR TO DESIGN A SPECIAL AFRICAN DRESS FOR MY SPECIAL BABY. TRY AND GET THE PHONE LINE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU YOURS CARE PRINCE
Princess Candy	[ I take size 14, saddle stitched seams...
March 4, 2003
Prince Emmanuel	To: "Candice Windsor" Subject: I LOVE U MY BELOVED BABY, IAM SUPRISED TO HAVE SUCH A KIND WIFE THAT KNOWS WHAT IS GOOD FOR HER HUSBAND, WORD CAN NOT SAY HOW GRATEFUL I;M FOR HAVING SOMEONE LIKE YOU. BABY FEEL FREE AND SEND THE ITEMS AS URGENTLY AS YOU CAN. I LOVE U. PRINCE
Princess Candy	My Dear Prince May I hand them to you in person when first we embrace? I would enjoy seeing your little face light up with these tokens of my affection, with all my love xxxx PS I have also got you some slippers.
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST SWEET HEART, THANKS FOR YOUR COMPREHENSSION, IAM VERY PROUD OF YOU AS YOU HAVE ALREADY KNOW THE KIND OF HUSBAND YOU HAVE. IN DUE TIME ME AND YOU WILL BE JOINING TOGETHER PARTICIPATING IN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCES.WHAT DO YOU THINK?. YOURS CARE PRINCE
Princess Candy	I love the idea my sweet! Please say when! I have a domestic science qualification which will come in very useful for just this sort of event! I cannot wait to be at your side my dear, how long will it be? I miss you. Candy xxx
Prince Emmanuel	MY DEAREST BABY, PLEASE FEEL FREE AND UNDERTAKE YOUR SCIENCE QUALIFICATION AND NOTE THAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO HAVE MORE AND MOST QUALIFICATION IF NEEDED BE IN DUE TIME THINGS WILL NATURALLY ARRANGED BY ITSELF. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. PRINCE
Prince Emmanuel	Subject: I LOVE U MY SWEET HEART, THANKS FOR YOUR SPECIAL OFFER, I WOULD LIKE TO START ENJOYING THE GOLDEN GIFT FROM SWEET HEART NOW IF YOU DO. YOURS CARE PRINCE
March 6, 2003
Princess Candy	Subject: To My Prince My love, that makes me happy! I will rush to do it. Where shall I send what u so richly deserve?? Candy xxx
March 7, 2003
Royal Protective Service	CC: unicon1@netstar.com Subject: Protocol 14- 1775KY Your Royal Highness, Please be advised the above mentioned protocol has been actioned with regards to the ongoing matter. Stage III compliance and confirmation has been completed. Operation nears execution stage. Expect confirmation in 5 to 7 days extant. I have the honour to remain your humble servant, Brian Michael Lancashire, DCI, Royal Protective Service.
Princess Margaret	Cc: unicon1@netstar.com I am grateful. Please ensure this runs smoothly. MARGARET
M. Montague Barrymore	To: "Princess Margaret" CC: unicon1@netster.com Your Royal Highness I have received nothing from The Prince since my last urgent interrogatives of 2 weeks ago, either on a pro rata or via absolutem basis. This is grave cause for concern, and I feel I should raise my hesitations. I suggest that this business be consider day to day, on a pro quim vivo basis, albeit cotus ad interruptem even until he is able to provide some closing data. I have difficulty proceeding given the lack of communication and it maybe that the terms of investement lately offered by Mr Abacha are more attractive. He is also, I believe in possession of an X-Box for the princes. I remain your humble servant BARRYMORE My Dear Prince Time is slipping by and We have heard little from you
March 9, 2003
Princess Margaret	Dear Michael I agree it is worrying. The Prince seems to be very slow. I do hope he is worth pursuing. MARGARET
March 10, 2003
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	To: Princess Candy Subject: how are you MY BELOVED PRINCESS, PLEASE FORWARD YOUR MESSAGE THROUGH THIS E-MAIL BOX,THERE IS A TECHNICAL PROBLEM IN OTHER BOX. THANKS PRINCE
March 11, 2003
Princess Candy	Cc: Royal Protective Service My dear Prince I have some wonderful news for you my darling! I am soon to be on holiday and can pop over to pay you a visit! It will be absolutely yummy to meet up and discuss our future together. I will have all your gifts reading (including those lovely plus fours) and we can plan the details of the wedding. I have have Her Royal Highness and she says I can really do this but will have to bring along a bodyguard as a chaperone, and I have copied him into this message. He will be in charge of some of the arrangements and of course I will travel under a secret identity as always. I hope you will understand the need for this, but at least we can meet up and make a real contact together as we have so much to talk over xxx Please write back with a time place and day to arrive and give you a big hug!!! Your Candy xxxxxx
March 17, 2003
Prince Emmanuel "D* SUCKING N*" <unicon1@netster.com> [ Suddenly his 'handle' is nasty. Maybe someone broke into his account. Not the Foreign Office - they don't do that. This proves integral to the story, but is edited as We Are Not Amused. ]	To: Princess Candy Subject: HOW ARE YOU? MY BELOVED BABY, I WRITE TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR PRESENT CONDITION I HOPE ALL IS WELL?, IF SO, DOXOLOGY.IT IS MY PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU THAT I WILL TRAVEL TODAY TO SAUDI ARABIA FOR AN IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT AS I INTIMATED YOU BEFORE. I MIGHT SPEND A WEEK OR TWO WEEKS IN THIS REGARD.DO YOU WISH TO HAVE THE TELEPHONE OF HOTEL WHICH I WILL LODGE SO THAT WE CAN COMMUNICATE WHEN I REACH THERE?. I WILL BE PLEASED TO HEAR FROM YOU AS A MATTER OF URGENCY. YOURS IN LOVE PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Candy	Dear Prince I love to hear from you my love, but why have you changed your name? Are you a homosexual? CANDY
Royal Protective Service	From: Brian Lancashire To: Princess Candy CC: unicon@netstar.com Subject: Activating Your Royal Highness, We are activating the protocol per standard procedures regarding foreign travel. Operative are already in-country. Please advise when proceeding. BML DPS
Princess Candy	Cc: unicon@netstar.com Dear Mr Lancashire Thank you for doing this and for being so discreet. I am so excited! Regards Princess Candy
March 18, 2003
Princess Candy	My dear own sweet love. Your messages are, alarmingly headed as below each time I receive one. Can this be true? I dont think her Majesty would want to receive a missive from DICK S* N*. She still recoils from split infinitives, let alone such crude sexual boasting of this sort. Please what is happening?? Can I still trust you? I still want you but I am confused my love. CANDY xxx
Prince Emmanuel	To: HRH Princess Margaret Subject: WHAT NEXT MY DEAREST PRINCESS, I HAVE WRITTEN TO YOU TWICE BUT NO RESPONSE; I UNDERSTAND THAT MAY BE THERE IS SOMETHING GOING WRONG SOMEWHERE THAT BECLOUDING THIS ISSUE. EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT OF COURSE DESERVE SUCH A GOLDEN OFFER, PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW, I FULLY KNEW THAT A WAVE IS GREATER THAN A DROP OF WATER AND NOTE THAT MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING, I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING IN YOU AND WHAT YOU DO AND DEEPLY APPRECIATE HAVING YOU AS MY "ARRIVAL"-FOR I HAVE SOW MY LAW IN YOU, AND IT SHALL IN TURN BRING FORTH FRUIT IN YOU, AND YOU SHALL BE GLORIFIED THROUGH IT FOREVER- FOR I'VE SAVED FOR MYSELF ONE GRAPE OUT OF CLUSTER, AND ONE PLANT OUT OF A GREAT FOREST. NB, IAM STILL A LEARNER, ALL I MOSTLY WANT FROM YOU IS DIRECTIVES, IDEAS AND POTENTIAL ADVISE. IN CASE IF I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE SOMEWHERE,PLEASE CORRECT ME. I HENCE-FORTH EXPECT YOUR RESPONSE SOONEST REMAINED BLESSED PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH UNICON
Princess Margaret	My Dear Princess Emmanuelle My deepest apologies for not replying sooner. Unfortunately the palace server has been down for a number of days through an unfortunate accident with a croquet mallet after the recent hunt ball, and the new installation has taken some time for Sir Marmite to supervise. I fully appreciate your concern over the shortcomings faced by our business together. However I am really subject to the guidance of Mr Barrymore, who I believe still awaits your paperwork? He is often busy at Willywonk but can process matters quickly if needs be. Please let him know if you feel there has been an oversight of some sort as I am sure he will be only too pleased to re examine the pro-twiglet protocols. Please act quickly as We are impatient to fund your initiatives. MARGARET
March 20, 2003
Prince Emmanuel unicon1@netster.com	From: "INCREDIBLY CRUDE NAME REMOVED" To: "Candice Windsor" Subject: I LOVE U MY DEAR CANDY, IT SEEMS THAT YOU LACK NATURAL UNDETSTANDING,THIS BOX HAS CONTAMINATED AN ACUTE VIRUS IN WHICH I DON'T HOW CLEAN THEREIN, HOW DO YOU THINK THAT I WOULD CHANGE MY NAME TO SUCH?. I HAVE NOTIFIED HER MAJESTY AS REGARD TO THIS ISSUE AND SHE UNDERSTAND VERY WELL THOUGH I DID'T BLAME YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A SMALL GIRL WITH NARROW UNDERSTANDING. PLEASE DON'T USE THIS BOX TO SEND ME MAIL I STOP USING THIS BOX BECAUSE OF THE PROBLEM DO YOU COMPREHEND>?. YOU MAY TRUST ME IF. YOURS CARE PRINCE EMMANUEL P:S, DON'T USE THIS BOX TO SEND ME MESSAGE AGAIN. ALWAYS USE prince_iaewp@37.com
March 21, 2003
Princess Candy	Subject: to my darling Prince My Darling Prince how awful it must be to have been affected like that and I quite understand. But how have you been my love? I have heard little from you. Is our happiness still assured? Please take time out of your busy schedule to write to me sometimes, and make your sweetheart happy as I have lots to tell you. I am thinking of having my navel pierced would you approve? C xxxxxxxx
April 4, 2003
Princess Margaret	Subject: TO PRINCE EMMANUELLE My Dear Prince We have heard nothing from you. Is there something amiss? Here at Doss House we are quite concerned and the concern over this whole affair quite spoilt my concentration during the after dinner billiards match last night. MARGARET
[Thus matters stood. TWO YEARS LATER, Prince Emmanuel was apparently going through old files, and remembered the Foreign Office. And he got back in touch! Can it really be the same fellow?]
November 6, 2005
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	To: Princess Candy Subject: RE: Thinkin of u always My Dearest Princess, Thanks 4 ur warm response, i have notified my parent about the irrevocable relationship of ours but the fact remain that they would want us to come down home and perform the traditional marriage ceremony. I have told them everthing and they want to see u and ur parent . In the light of this,i want u to start warming up now. I will contact ur mother and ur uncle as soon as i hear from u also send me ur new pictures . Yours care Prince
Princess Candy	[ Hey cool yea he is the same k? I dunno if he likes clubbin tho I hope so cos I do. Hey u have kool crimbo k?? an dont u go drink 2 much then k!!!!! yeh and watch out k cos those boys are like octopuss k, lol its relly funny k cos i met this guy called bowders k, he was relly funy xx hey kool did he behav then? I was with a guy an he says he was in publishin then tryd 2 get funy an handy an stuf jus cos I was wering short skirt lol but I sed no Mr u hav to behav as my uncle M is here lol. But then we went on clubin so it was kool k yeh but hes weird k he kept speaking about law and modalities k what is aluvial dust i don't know lol but he kept sayin reman blessed or something lol i no, lol it is sily, but he want 2 chat so y not? an we r marryin i thnk but wil hav to see xxx ] hey coolll!!!! :-))) i am attaching my pic an i hope u not seen it b4 k? hey can i see anotha of u then cos i thnk u were relly cute k, even if u dont do mch clubbin. hav u had many gfs then or wat?? cos i am sweet & innoc k!!!! also do u belef in being faithful an all that stuff cos i dont want to be let down k C xx [Princess Candice's language skills have taken an alarming turn for the worse.]
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Sir - Prince - who ever you are? I found the message below in my young niece's e-mail and wonder who in god's name you are sir? She is an impressionable young lady, and I will not stand for her affections to be trifled with. I cannot find your name on the Social Register. I will not have Our good reputation spread about in this way. Explain yourself. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC Regis Court Chamberlain The Court of St James Broadmoor London FU2 GIT 0909 674 4848 http://www.freewebs.com/sirmarmite/index.htm
November 10, 2005
Prince Emmanuel	Dear Sir, With due respect, I appreciate your efforts and services in the vine yard of God and humanity. I expected a high standard of knowledge to would 've being applied by you to address this issue as a good Uncle that cares for the future betterment of his niece. I fully comprehended that she's an impressionable young girl and regardless of the virtue of her possition, I'm a man of myself I reserve the bright right to know the sentiment in her heart. I have noted that you had have become an opposition between the two parties and the fact remain, will you marry her?, can you offer her the precious love of emotion she deserve?. NB, Princess Candy is a woman of substance, she belong to somebody else regardless on what she are all what she needs is a man who would love her to whom she are and not what she are with which I have promised to carry out the love project on her behalf. As regard to your orthodox question in respective of whom I'm, in the light of this, I refer you to the mystery of KING DAVID, who is he? and where do he come from? also further information and clarification can be obtained from my Golden Mother,HM,PRINCESS MARGRET she wholeheartedly laid the foundation of this noble relationship of ours with a hand bill. In furtherance of this,please don't hurt her in any form if you do,heaven will intervene you are expected to perform your duty in this issue inorder to accomplish this goal. Faithfully Yours Prince Emmanuel Awuruh NB, I KNEW THAT YOU HANGS ALL MY INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET:Thanks/
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Sir, Many thanks for your explanatory note. You will appreciate that my concern lays entirely in the personal welfare of Princess Candy, of whom I have nothing but the highest regard, as well as strict call to welfare duty. I am sure your attentions are honourable, and I would not want to spoil her happiness. But of course she is on the threshold of full woman hood, a blushing, pure flower of loveliness and she needs guidance and qualification in her romantic adventures. You know of course that she is heir to considerable landed estates in Smegaroon and royal Wankershire, while being 14th in line to the throne? This does indeed offer a real need for caution. She being my ward, I naturally wish to follow each step of any possible connection between the two of you very closely indeed, to ensure that every element is beyond reproach. You must assure me that you are clean of habit and reputation, untainted by any personal adventure with woman of a loose kind and with unimpeachable vimtos. Perhaps you would do me the favour of sending me an image of yourself so that we can a basic judge or breeding and character? If you have beetle brows or a moose jaw, defiling our line, then that won't do at all, I am afraid. You mention Princess Margaret. Have you in contact with her? Also I am not sure about the internet. This is supposed to be confidential? MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel	To: Princess Candy My Darling, Thanks 4 ur warm mail, as regard to ur question, I wholeheartedly promised to remain faithful to u and standby u in any point also i can never let u down, how about u? Baby, the picture u send cannot be opened i tried but to no avail therefore i would like u to resend in normal attachment to :hrhprince_emmanuel2020@hotmail.com . NB, It seems that ur parent is not in line with the level of our understanding and communication?, these bcos I received mail from ur Uncle asking some embarassive questions in the light of this, i want u to open-up to ur parent let them to know about everthing between us I have done thesame to my parent too that i have found a girl i will marry and spend my entire life with--- forever, please advise. Please tell ur mother i would like to hear from her . Yours care Prince
Princess Candy	hiya Manny Its k cos my uncle M. sez we can keep chattin at least for a bit ;-)))). I told him that i was keen on u right and said rite back that he wuld hav a think which is kool i gess for him. sos u lost my pic but i hav send it again with this mess k? do u relly want to speak to my mum then? cos if u do I will ask her write an stuff k but she may not like u k hey u sure u dont like clubbin? :-(
November 12, 2005
Prince Emmanuel	Dear Sir Marmite, Thanks for your esteem favoured mail, as a matter of facts and substance, my intention is to wear the garment of love to Princess Candy . I understand that you are in the bright possition to add a great value in this issue than beating around the bush. You expected to provide an impetus that would arrange the progressivity of this noble relationship of ours. The foundation of this noble relationshipship has been laid by HM, Princess Margret therefore she is in the full possition to feed you with any relevant information about me you might needed be. NB, This is a new world that people have the right to follow up their heart desire and not someone else making carnivorious decision for them therefore Princess Candy has the full right to make her choice hereoff and , don't stand on her way. The best security for a responsible woman is her husband and the fact remain, who is there for her?. Sir,I suggest you hear from the horses mouth in doing so would help you to know your stand in this issue. In few time I will pay a handsome visit to your noble office then we can know each other more better and to this end, I wait to see you kick the ball roling Faithfully Yours Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle Awankah I have spoken to Her Majesty Princess Margaret, and she has convinced me at length that are a genuine claimant on Our Princess Candy's affections, and not some grubby little native on the make. Based on her enthusiasm for your representation here at the Palace, we have decided to extend an open invitation for you to pay a visit. Let us know when this can be arranged. Perhaps you might consider sometime in December, when we have a grand ball at the Sir Bernard Manning Rooms to celebrate the inauguration of Norman Wisdom as the next Archbishop of Canterbury? I will be pleased to liaise with your staff or adjutant in regards to details of accomodation. In the meantime, please supply some documentation to prove your social pedigree also to help yor admission to the country & etc. Perhaps a birth certificate and a recent image? Nothing undraped of course unless you have tribal tattoos that bear investigating. I will, of course give the paperwork the exact same discretion and care that it deserves. I have also spoken to Candice about your interest and our consent for a meeting subject to a few conditions, and she of course is delighted. I saw her only this morning at Matalan (the Royal Outfitters) choosing a fine new outfit in preparation. I must say her girlish figure looks splendid in pink! In any case, please let Us know as soon as possible about your intentions. Kind regards MARMITE
November 14, 2005
Prince Emmanuel	To: Sir Marmite Subject: Thanks Dear Sir, Thanks for your warm cooperation in puting in place the relevant infrastructures that would enhance the effectiveness of this issue. December period will be the right time to visit your end but before that I have to consult my parent for officialization with the council,ie, elders of our palace . Here attach my picture for your perusal action however I'm a young man of 20's I'm from traditional royal family in Nigeria-Ebony state -Idembia Local Government but residing in the Gambia, hope you people respect and maintain tradition and culture at your end? Please take good care of my wife Princess Candy--don't ever hurt her in any form. Please tell Candy to write me i want to hear from her. May God Be With YOU Faithfully Yours Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	A fine looking chap I must say, bright as a button as well... Oh yes. He reeks of royalty. And something else too no doubt. My dear chap! Hardly the words to use of a likely addition to our royal circle here at Broadmoor! -- Marmite
November 15
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Manny (if I may be so bold) What a pleasure to behold such a distinguished portrait! Many thanks for sending it. I believe that you already have had the one from Princess Candice, and so the suitability is, one might say, obvious. Now that we have your full measure, let us proceed to the next stage with diplomatic haste. By all means have a chat with your village elders and what not. Perhaps there are some simple ceremonies, initiation or otherwise that need to be performed on such an occasion? May I ask - have you been circumcised? (This may be a blunt question my dear chap, but We are a firm believer both in personal hygene and tradition) If not of course this little detail can easily be attended to by the royal Doctor, Harold Shipman upon your arrival. He will be able finish you off very easily before the ceremony with a little local anaesthetic. In fact thinking about it, I will advise him of your likely arrival as there may be some health checks to be performed, nothing too arduous I am sure, but probably helpful in the light of your provenance. Now that I am assured both of your appearance and obvious intelligence, I shall give Candice my permission to write to you again, so that your little romance may blossom further, with my general agreement. Let us see if the enthusiasm generated so far waxes or wanes before next month at least as a trial. However I would be obliged if you keep your chat clean and wholesome, even in the light of eagerly anticipated nuptials, as she remains a member of the royal household and dare say has already communicated her innocence in things worldly to you. You will be pleased to know that I have shown her your most recent letter and she was jumping and squealing with joy this morning on the way down to her aerobics class. I shall of course put wheels in motion for your likely accomodation. I think a nice den in Windsor Park will suffice, where you surely will feel right at home. Will you intend any family to join you? Your mother perhaps or a head man? Please advise any special dietary requirements & etc Please advise on any developments at your end as soon as they are known. So many details to sort out, and so little time, but I am sure we will all manage.
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes	Dear Prince, Sir Marmite has passed me a copy of his e-mail of 14 November to you. Sir Marmite has instructed me to reimburse you for the cost of your flight to London.You may travel business class by whichever airline you prefer. On production of an invoice for your ticket I will transfer the sum required into your bank account. Yours truly, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Chief Executive Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
November 16, 2005
Prince Emmanuel	To: Sir Marmite Dear Sir, Thanks I'm very grateful for the step you have took as to water the ground of this noble relationship of ours. I have written to my parent sequel to the on-going issues athand just to bring to their favourable notice. I'm still awaiting to hear from them however i would prefer the flight ticket to be sent than cash as your partner had have informed me that you have authorised him to do so and note that the ticket will be attached with an official letter of invitation in which a copy will be forwarded to the british embassy for procession of my visa hereoff. You ask if i'm circumcised, as you are aware, I'm a Roman Catholic Family brought -up the family maintain the catholic doctrine circumcission is being done at my childish age and upon my arrival to your end feel free to conduct any medical check-up and note, i'm naturally a preserved child. I have not got the picture of Princess Candy the attachment being sent cannot be opened due to the nature of the programme being used therefore I would like her to resend it in a normal way as I do. Once again ,thanks for your cooperation and understanding I promised I will make sure everything being done-x-y-z. Please kindly extend my warm greetings to my Golden Mother,HM,PRINCESS MARGRET. With Kindest Personal Regards, I Remain. Faithfully Yours Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Manny A pleasure to hear back from you and it is reassuring that you are replying so promptly and efficiently. We are delighted that, upon investigation, you appear to be someone who is thoroughly deserving of all that is coming to you. As you are by now aware in regards to making arrangements for arrival, wheels are turning and my colleague Sir Charles Farnes will see that you are well and truly sorted. He has mentioned an element of dispersement towards you and I am sure that can be arranged in good time. I am greatly relieved that you are circumcised as anything else would prove a drawback. As you have kindly made the offer, then we will indeed take the liberty of asking Dr Shipman to give you a quick checkover upon your arrival. You can rest assured that this is just a formality and that he will promptly finish you off given the chance to work quickly. I have passed on your greetings to Princess Maragret, and she will no doubt be in touch as soon as she has finished her current round of duties as will Lonslo Tossov, the royal tailor whom I have asked to prepare a morning suit, adequate for a presentation to the Queen at a little greetings occasion We have planned in your honour, upon your arrival. Mr Tossov may well write independently, asking for measurements, preferred styles, and what not. Princess Candy is disappointed that you cannot open her attachment. What then is to be done? Please give my regards to your tribal elders. MARMITE
November 17, 2005
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes	17 November 2005 Dear Prince Emmanuel, Sir Marmite has forwarded a copy of your latest e-mail to me. I regret that I cannot issue a flight ticket for you. However, as I have already mentioned, upon receipt of a pro-forma invoice from your travel agent, I will send you by Western Union the full cost of your ticket. You may travel business class on any airline and you may also include the cost of a limousine to take you to Lagos Airport. May I also take this opportunity of reminding you to ensure that your passport is in order. With kindest regards, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	I have passed on your greetings to Princess Maragret, and she will no doubt be in touch as soon as she has finished her current round of duties as will Lonslo Tossov, the royal tailor whom I have asked to prepare a morning suit, adequate for a presentation to the Queen at a little greetings occasion We have planned in your honour, upon your arrival. Mr Tossov may well write independently, asking for measurements, preferred styles, and what not. MARMITE
Lonslo Tossov	PRINCE AWANKRUH SIR M HAS ADVISED ME THAT YOU MAY BE REQUIRING A PASSABLE BLUE SERGE OUTFIT FOR YOUR IMPENDING VISIT_VERY WELL SIR I WILL MAKE ALL DUE PREPARATIONS_YOU WILL OBLIGE ME BY FORWARDING AT ONCE YOUR MEASUREMENTS SO THAT WE MAY CHALK OUT THE FABRIC AND ORDER IN SAME_SPECIFICALLY I WILL NEED_NECK_UPPER AND LOWER CHEST_WAIST_THIGH_INSIDE LEG_CALVE MEASUREMENTS AS WELL AS PREFERENCE AS PER PANTS VENTING _SHAPE AND SINGLE OR DOUBLE BREASTED JACKET ETC ETC_SOONER WE GET THESE CRITICAL DETAILS THE SOONER WE CAN MAKE EFFORTS ON YOUR BEHALF YOU CAN BE ASSURED OF THAT_BUT FOR GODS SAKE MAN GET THEM RIGHT WE DONT WANT YOU LOOKING LIKE A HALF PULLED CHRISTMAS CRACKER ON THE DAY AS I AM SURE YOU APPRECIATE_I AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY ON THIS MATTER KIND REGARDS T Lonslo Tossov Cack & Chavster Tailors 69 Kustardt Levy Muggins Smegaroonshire UR1 PRAT
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Lonslo The Prince has provided an image of himself, which may assist in discovering the optimum style and fit for the fellow. I am copying him in so that he may be persuaded to forward it on. To my untrained eye he would I think be best favoured by a Wormwood Scrubs pinstripe, similar to that enjoyed by the Prince of Wales, but or course you will know best. I copy him in so that he may express a view. He may also wish to have some pyjamas made for his stay as I believe out there it is all t shirts or starkers, and we just can't have that in the Palace. MARMITE
November 24
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes	Dear Prince Emmanuel, I have not received a reply to my e-mail of 17 November. I hope you will take up the offer - upon receipt of a pro-forma invoice from your travel agent - of a business class return from Lagos to London by an airline of your choice. You may also include the cost of a limousine to take you to Lagos Airport. May I also take this further opportunity to remind you to ensure that your passport is in order. With kindest regards, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
December 7
Prince Emmanuel	To: Sir Marmite Subject: PLS I'M VERY SORRY MY DEAREST UNCLE, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT A DOG DOES NOT EAT A BORNE THAT HANG ON HIS NECK. PLEASE KINDLY ACCEPT MY APOLOGY: PLEASE DON�T BE UPSETED I HAVE SOME PROBLEMS HERE WITH MY BUSINESS ASSOCIATES THE PROBLEM IS LAND DISPUTE AS I DO ACT AS A MIDDLE PERSON BETWEEN A BUYER AND SELLER OF LAND,IE, REAL ESTATE AGENT. THE REASON I COUNDN�T RESPONSE TO YOUR MAIL EVER SINCE THEN IS THAT WE ARE AT THE NORTHERN PART OF THE GAMBIA IN PROVENCIAL AREA WHERE THERE IS NO ACCESS TO INTERNET OR COMMUNICATION THOUGH THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED BY THE GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY BUT THESE REALLY RUINED ME DOWN THAT AFFECTED MY ACCOUNT TO BE INDORMANT BCOS I SPENT A LOT OF CASH AS TO PUT THINGS IN PLACE AND ALL WHAT I SPENT IS EXPECTED TO BE RECOVERED BY APRIL-2006 IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR AGGREEMENT THERETO. SIR, PLEASE I WANT YOU TO HELP ADDRESS THIS ISSUE BY EXPLAINING THINGS TO MY WIFE �CANDY THE WAY SHE WILL UNDERSTAND ME BETTER AS WE ARE ONE FAMILY NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE FROM YOU THOUGH SOMETIME THINGS FALL APART BUT AS A MAN U COULD UNDERSTAND ME BETTER PLEASE LET CANDY TO KNOW THAT MY LOVE TO HER IS ENDLESS LOVE I CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO HURT HER AND ; I SINCERELY HOPE YOU WILL HELP ME TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUE WITH DUE RESPECT.. I HAVE RECEIVED POSITIVE RESPONSE FROM MY PARENT ON BEHALF OF THE ELDERS OF THE PALACE THE FACT IS THAT I SUPPOSE TO COME HOME FOR XMAS BUT HENCE YOU HAVE ALREADY PASS ME THE BALL, I HAVE TO COME AND SCORE THE GOAL(MEANT), THE ELDERS SAID THAT I�M A MAN OF MYSELF WHO KNOWS WHAT IS GOOD FOR ME IF I HAVE CHOSEN A WIFE FOR MYSELF AND SHE IS OK FOR ME, THEN I SHOULD GO �AHEAD AND MARRY HER AND BRING HER HOME FOR FURTHER TRADITIONAL CEREMONIAL MARRIAGE IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE TRADITIONAL ORDINANCE AS YOU MAY KNOW, WHEN A MAN GET MARRIED AFTER PERFORMING THE TRADITIONAL WEDDING, AFTER 3-YEARS I AND MY WIFE IS DUE TO TAKE THE THRONE AND OFFICIALLY CROWNED AS THE NEXT (IGWE),IE, THE CHIEF-5-YEARS LATTER-WE THEN CROWN AS THE KING. SIR, SINCERELY I�M EVER READY NOW TO COME BUT THERE IS SOME IMPEDIMENT AT MY SIDE THE FACT IS THAT I WOULD WANT YOU TO LEND ME SOME FUND TO ENABLE ME FACILITATES SOME THINGS IMMEDIATELY. I WANT THE SUM OF (2,500.00-POUNDS STERLING) AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON�T SUPPOSE TO ASK FOR ANY FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM YOU NOW BUT DUE TO THE FACT IS THAT I BELIEVE WE ARE NOW ONE FAMILY THEREFORE RIGHT HAND IS ALWAYS THERE TO ASSIST LEFT HAND IF NEEDED BE. ALSO THERE IS AN URGENT NEED FOR AN OFFICIAL INVITATION TO BE FORWARDED TO THE BRITISH EMBASSY HERE IN THE GAMBIA AND A COPY TO ME FOR IMMEDIATE PROCESSION OF MY VISA OR DO YOU HAVE OTHER MEANS IN RESPECT OF MY DOCUMENTATION? AND I WILL ALSO BUY MY FLIGHT TICKET AND FLY FROM THE GAMBIA. I�M VERY HAPPY TO NOTED THAT YOU HAVE PREPARED SPECIAL SUIT FOR ME THOUGH I LIKE ORANGE/BLACK COLOUR BLAZER SUIT WITH GOLDEN BUTTON MY WERST IS 34 SIZE. THANKS YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR KICKING THE BALL ROLLING WITH WHICH IS NOW MY TURN TO SCORE THE GOAL. PLEASE EXTEND MY GREETINGS TO MY MOTHER PRINCESS MARGRET. WITH KINDEST PERSONAL REGARDS, I REMAIN. HON.PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Awuwank I am rather relieved to hear that you are alive and well, although it has been a while now since you made contact a situation which, your apologies accepted, has still been rather an annoyance in this business. This is, after all, not child's play. I naturally quite understand how land disputes can be a distraction, by the way; only last year I was heavily involved in some deed work on the new Stonehenge themepark, druids and some ghastly American burger franschises being involved, and found it quite time consuming. Anyhow, to the matter at hand, and I am sorry to have to tell you that your fiance, poor Candice, has gone quite cold on the matter. To be blunt, sir, the young lady feels that her affections are being played fast and loose with, and her heart is not to be trifled with. An indication of how much she has been upset can be seen in the way she spends her time. Whereas before she was out many nights enjoy the night clubs of Smegaroon, now her attitude towards such activities is, frankly, listless and half hearted. Such distressing changes have not been unnoticed by her mother, her grace Princess Margaret, who at one point has, in my certain hearing, made very unflattering comments on your pedigree and honesty. In short, before we can discuss the wedding plans further, any attendance at some tribal initiation ceremony, ongoing costs and expenses and what not, you will need to win back Princess Candice's affections with a few loving and sincere messages - assuming that you have not already been gentleman enough to initiate this delicate process. Once she has been won back over, then perhaps, we can negotiate again. I suggest moreover that this process is begun at once as Lord Bovril tells me that Candice has also been receiving attention from Harry Flashman, a member of our court who has both charm of manner and the benefits of reliability in his attentions. I leave it up to you sir to restablish your fortune in this matter. In the short term at least, I have put thoughts of agreement on matrimony on hold. Kind regards Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC PS as a gesture of goodwill I have instructed Tossov the royal tailor to prepare a pair of pants waist 34 as described. What are your leg measurements? I know that bandiness is common in the third world.
December 8
Prince Emmanuel	To: Sir Marmite Subject: RE: Faithfullness Dear uncle, Thanks for your couragious word but I still beleived that you can also help to talk to her in blue meaningful way in respective of the virtue of your possition and wide experience in life here is Africa system of things are not thesame like your end and note no man above problems I never expect to have any problem at this time But God is so kind that the problem has been solved. I will not retail or detail what would happen to any man or any body else who try to crucifix the love between me and Princess Candy I have fully developed an endless love for her only I don't have anybody else i have entrusted myself except her she is THE first and the last. As you are no doubt aware there is a lot of rich beautiful girls and ladies here in Africa who needs a preserved young man like me but they cannot have me as i wanted a woman that would love me to whom I'm and not to what I'm with which I have taken some time to study Candy and discovered that we can be together forever what matters in every relationship is understanding therefore you should let her to know that I'm not God who above problem I know you people might have double mind just bcos I'm a Nigeria I know that most people talk bad about my country but the fact remain that in any country in the world you can find good and bad people though I'm not a saint but in due time you will know who is who. I sincerely don't have anything in mind or to hurt her in any form God is my witness or wether she may think I have somebody else.Well I don't know what to say anymore But God knows the truth if it's the will of God that Candy will be my wife, let it be all I can assured her is I always remain faithfully for her. God Bless You
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	My Dear Prince Awanka I feel I must reply promptly to your message, and sympathise entirely with your heartfelt plea. I will of course, be happy to mention your name to Princess Candy and see what results. However, as I said in your previous message, your royal name is mud here at the moment, and much of her previous ardour towards yourself has surely evaporated. You can hardly blame her - or us - for the doubts your reputation has incurred given the problems your romantic suit has presented. Instead of addressing your extended and wheedling correspondence towards myself, I really suggest you offer up humble apologies and romantic solicitations to Candice directly, as it will carry more weight. Perhaps a nice photo, or even a small present in the mail, could be the order of the day. It is really up to you, young man to make more of yourself, rather than the shiftless tosser you have appeared so far. You may also wish to approach Princess Margaret in similar apologetic, conciliatory terms and see what can be done there. Now what I can do is this. I will tell Candice that I have heard from you and that she is to accept your explanations with an open mind and a trusting heart, then lleave the rest to you. She may be in a better mood tomorrow anyhow, as she is due for a waxing session with Madame Bristol our beauty consultant. PS Tossov may have some questions about the garments and may contact you directly about these.
December 9
Lonslo Tossov	SIR M. HAS INTIMATED THAT YOU REQUIRE A SUIT OF SORTS AND SO MY TEAM AND I REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING MEASUREMENTS_ AND IN SHORT ORDER TOO SIR IN ORDER TO MEET THE CHRISTMAS WORK AND DELIVERY SCHEDULES: WAIST INSIDE LEG THIGH WIDTH CHEST SHOULDER SINGLE OR DOUBLE FLY BUTTON I WILL NEED TOO AN IDEA OF PREFERRED STYLE VIZ SINGLE OR DOUBLE BREASTING AND IF THE PANTS REQUIRE VENTS_ALSO IF YOUR GIRTH DEMANDS ELASTICATED WAIST BANDING YOU NEED ADVISE TOO_ IN REGARDS TO FABRIC CHOICE I SUGGEST BLUE SERGE OR CAVALRY TWILL AS PER THE PRINCE OF WALES_ BUT YOU MAY HAVE MORE FLAMBOUYANT NATIVE DESIGNS MORE CONGENIAL TO YOUR TASTE AND IF SO ADVISE AND I WILL ORDER IT IN AS CAN BE FOUND IS THAT CLEAR? T Lonslo Tossov Cack & Chavster Tailors 69 Kustardt Levy Muggins Smegaroonshire UR1 PRAT
Prince Emmanuel	Subject: I REMAIN FAITHFUL My Dearest Princess, First, I'm very sorry if you might felt bad, I have some problem in which i hav been trying to resolved and now is over. I noted that u have began to loose hope by inducing yourself in clubalist life why?, don't you think here is Africa things are not like your end I'm not God that knows what tommorrow could be. Darling, it's assume u don't even have faith in God u don't even care to know what is going on my side all u do is going from one club to another can't u act or standby me in the time of trouble?. My dear, i wonder the kind of man u might think i'm i expected to see ur reaction as to know what is my problem or do u think i don't really love u?, or do u think i'm here clubing the way u do? or going after woman to women?. In respect of your dramatic attitude i do beleive u don't really love me from your heart perhaps u just want to use me?. As u are no doubt aware there is lot of fishes in the sea all what someone have to do is to throw his net and select one with which i have choosen u to spend my entire life with in my community we see marriage as everlasting institution or do u have anything in mind?. I noted that u have someone else who scratch ur back in the respect of this, please let me know the truth if i'm going wrong way. On my own side i have no any other problem than to come over in accordance with the arrangememt of ours with which i would be very much oblige if you can clarify this issue in a meaningful way. God knows the truth that i really love u with my wholeheart always remain faithful to you and i have nobody else except you. Yours care Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Princess Candy	hiya Prince i am v v upset with u, u no??? This because u dont write or say anythin and all this afta a loads an loads of promises 2. Hey wat gives ane how??? I was all keen to see u and say hello and talk bout stuff k, then u go a mess things up!! I thot that we was in luv then???? My uncle M sez that I shuld listen to wat u say an all, well what then? cos i relly cross with u mister. :-((( Candice x
December 12
Prince Emmanuel	Subject: RE: Baby I'm really sorry My Darling, Please forgive me in anyway i have offended u i don't meant to hurt u, forget and forgive me in the name of God. I want u to know that i also have jenior sister whom would be married to somebody else and i cannot stand and see any man mess- up with my sisters therefore i can't mess-up with you my love, whatever man sow,is what he reap:if i disappoint u therefore i have disappointed myself. The basic fact is that u don't understand me,what matters in any relationship is understanding, i'm facing big problems here in which i expected u to act on my behalf as a good wife does. Baby, i've promised to standby u either rain or sun, note, you are the first woman i have ever come accross in my life and nobody else. I came from traditional royal family that have a certain policy which must be maintained. I want u to know that I always love u Candy and remain faithfull to u which is the obligation which i must fullfiled on your behalf and this is the really reason i took my noble time to study more about u before i made the promised. I noted to u before that i'm a preserved child(meant), i have never come accross any woman and i can never sex any other woman except a woman who is my wife this is our traditional policy. I have promised to marry u candy and nothing can ever change my love to u , i know that u love me the way i do but the fact remain at ur side that u don't really understand me u will be the happiest woman on earth if u understand me very well . Practically, i'm not looking for money or any material things, i love u for whom u are and not what u are,God knows the truth. U reserved the right to correct my mistake if ,all i can let u know is that u ar only hope i have your pleasure is mine. All i want u to do now is to contact ur uncle to hasten all the arrangment for me to come down immediately all i need is letter of invitation inorder to process my visa ur Uncle has promised to handle other outstanding expences hereoff. Baby, I swear with the name of God, I don't have anything in mind than to fulfilled my promise please try to understand me, it's very dangerious to play with somebody's emotion,baby, i cannot do such thing to u please try to understand,i'm for u only. If there is any other thing that bothers u anything else u want to know more about me , please do not hesitate to ask. Please let me know if u still love me or not? and let me know the type of xmas gitf u like most also do u like to watch Nigeria movie as u already a Nigeria woman?. Baby, u are my only happiness. Please extend my warm greetings to ur mother. Yours care Prince
Princess Candy	hiya Prince yes i have red ur message k an am still decidin k. wat u gon 2 do then make it up 2 me? an how i no that u wil not do sam again then?? I wuz relly relly hurt by u k?? :-( I hav lots & lots of guys asking me out an all an its only cos yr a prince that i am stil speking to u k!! i hav got ova it a bit now but was cross wen u did nt right n stuff i can tel u that. but i supose i can hav word with uncle m. and my mum an see if they wan to stick with u an all. i quite lik u i gess evn tho u r a pain at times lol but if u want me 2 stay keen u hav write me more often ok an tel me sweet things an not b such a prat. hey i was just reding again bout ur sis. does she like clubbin? CANDICE X
December 15
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: Princess Candy Subject: My Darling baby How ar u today?, do u see me in ur room last knight?
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: Sir Marmite CC: Princess Candy Subject: EMAIL BOX Attention: Please forward your mail to this email box there is problem in other box. Thanks
December 16
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Prince Emmanuelle What is happening in regards to my niece? Do you still have intentions? MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" My Dear Uncle, I have contacted Candy and appologised to her as u must have seemed to wish that i do so and she has replied to my mail with bundle of complainance and the fact remain that we have comprehend each other more now than before. You know that i have no other intention than to fulfilled the obligation. Iam ready to come down as soon my requisition is being done everything depend on you people now as for me, i'm ever ready. Thanks
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle We naturally appreciate your efforts to make amends, I rather think that the only real way forward will be to pay us all a visit, and as soon as possible too. When can you get away? If you are quick you will still be in time to share in the mince pies and games of Cluedo with Us all at Balmoral. Kind regards Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
December 18
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" My Dearest Uncle, Thanks for your understanding and good work being done inorder to accomplish this goal what i want now is official letter of invitation to be forwarded to UK Embassy and a copy to me and the peanut,ie, some coins that i needed be to enable me facilitates some things here-off. Thanks and God bLESS U Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle I imagine that some funds could be found in the petty cash to assist your likely arrival. However before any of this can take place, We will need some assurances: 1. Is your relatiobship with Princess Candy now on an even footing, with a becoming generosity of sprit and honesty assured on your part? I would not want to waste money on some native scoundrel who is likely to break hearts again. You will appreciate this plain speaking is in all our interests. 2. Are you fully intending to work towards a position of matrimony with my niece? She is, as I have stressed of impressionable age, and completely pure. I will not have her trifled with. 3. What reassurances can you put in place that you will make the journey? I would not want to advance some golden dorks for expenses to fine this whole matter is some sort of wasted effort. I await your reply. In the meantine I take the liberty of copy in this request for assistance to our financial chappie, Dr Farnes Barnes who is best placed to see you get what is coming to you. MARMITE
December 19
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" My Dearest Uncle, Thanks for your cooperation i fully comprehended all that you meant all i can let you know is ,Princess Candy is my wife i have no other intention than to fulfilled the obligation. Sir, I and Candy has understood each other she knows input and output of me and only assurance i can give to u is that i can never disappoint her bcos if i do, i disappoint myself and my future. Please let me know the kind of assurance you might needed be?. Thanks and God Bless You Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Manny (if I may be so bold) This is excellent news. Assuming you will accept a few dorks to help your navigation to our part of the world, I am sure Dr Farnes Barnes will, after some necessary formalities, be able to provide same. Incidentally how is the question of formal dress coming along. I believe Mr Tossov has been in communication? We don't want you looking slovenly when meeting up with your future bride, after all. Also perhaps you will need something to go nightclubbing, with perhaps just a touch of bling? Kind regards MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Candice Windsor" My Dearest Sweat Heart, Thanks 4 ur understanding that makes good relationship to last forever. Naturally, i just want to know u more as i'm practically wishes to marry a wife that i would spent my entire life forever. As u may know, most relationship don't last forever bcos of lack of understanding between the two parties. Now that i have comprehended whom u are and the sentiment in ur heart,i have fully prepared to wear u a garment of love forever. However, what is the meaning of love & emotion?. I know that ur heart is therein burning like fire, that ur small hole that's scratching u do u think u can swallow strong iron? and how long can u last on bed if?. I have contacted ur uncle on behalf of ur mum and i beleived they has forgiven me as they understood me very well. Baby, i want u to send me ur new pic, just scan and save the pic in document then send as attachment through ur email box. Thinkin of u Prince
December 20
Princess Candy	k i have had long & hard thnk bout this k an i am willin to giv u a second chance fella but u betta b kool and not mess me about c???? i was rel mad last tim an al. now u coming up to see us all or what cos u say u r & then nothin happns wich is a real bumma :-(((( u write me back asap and tell me again wat u is doing cos i am not sure i am doin the rite thing stil. i gess it is nly cos ur cute k! hey but u hav 2 tel me if u been tru 2 me hav u had otha girls i bet u hav wat with al those cuties u hav out ther al nakid in the sun and al. i bet u been doing lots u shouldnot hav. wel if so u beta apologise mista that al i say but i spose men r like that at lest that is wat Uncle M he say. hey if u come to uk then we can go clubbin. anehow let me kno what u think k CANDY xx
December 21
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" My dearest Uncle, Thanks for your warm cooperation as a matter of fact , i believe you knows what a Golden Prince Deserve?, just do it to the best of your abillity and note that i have not hear from any other person for any reason please address this issue to the highest level as my people expected this issue to be the best as to return with best result. I want one of the best suite,ie ,everything for me and my wife to be the best. Thanks Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Awurry I suggest that if you have not already done so, you communicate your essential measurements to Mr Tossov, the royal tailor at Cack & Chavster, so that he can commence to cut out a pattern on your instruction. He may also require some idea as to prefer fabric and cut. I know that you people like a loud and florid look for instance, with elasticated waist bands on the pants and what not, which may mean a broad tartan choice. Your decision of course. Your wife can be safely directed to a wrap around of some kind, but not as large as to appear like a barrage balloon, naturally. Any news on the other business by the way? I was under the impression that this is urgent? MARMITE
December 24
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	From: "Prince Emmanuel Awuruh" To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" My Dearest Uncle, Thanks for your warm cooperation please give me the email contact of the tailor so that i can let him know what i want or my wife Candy can as well know the best for me. I want you to forwards the vital documents as to commence the process of my visitation here-off. Thanks Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle The name of the royal tailor is Mr Lonslo Tossov, at Cack and Chavsters Ltd. He may be reached on xxx-xxxxx@xxxxxx.com. Mr Tossov will be pleased to ensure that you are treated with the respect that you deserve. You may wish to have your preferences and vital measurements ready, waist size etc, for he is bound to ask. I will look into the documents situation, but as you will appreciate, most of the relevant offices are closed now for the festivities. However if you could forward a passport scan, that would be a big help. Regards MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel NonGovernmental Organization <prince_iaewp@37.com>	To: Sir Marmite Subject: THANKS MY DEAREST UNCLE, WORD CANNOT SAY HOW GRATEFUL I'M FOR THE CULTIVATION AND PROPAGATION OF THE SOIL OF THIS ISSUE OF OUR WITH A HAND BILL WHICH HAD HAVE ASSURED ME OF YOUR HIGH PROBILTY AND SINCERITY IN THE VINEYARD WARM UNDERSTANDING. THE FACT STILL REMAIN THAT I WANT U TO LET MY CANDY TO KNOW THAT LIFE IS A FOUNDATION SO, SHE HAS TO START IT IN THE PROPOSITION HELP ME TO WATER THE GROUND AND ADD MORE MANURE FOR THE PLANTED SEEDS TO GROW RICHER AND FASTER. I HAVE WRITTEN TO CANDY YESTERDAY AND PRACTICALLY THERES IS NO NEED FOR PRESENT TO HER ALL SHE NEEDS NOW IS MY BODY AND SOUL ALSO I WANT U TO KNOW THAT MY GOLDEN MOTHER PRINCESS MARGRET UNDERSTOOD ME MOST MORE THAN MY OWN PARENT SHE KNEW THAT WE YOUTHS ARE FULL OF MISTAKE AND SHE IS MY EDUCATOR AND CORRECTOR I BELEIVED SHE HAD HAVE FORGIVEN ME WHOLEHEARTEDLY. PLEASE I WANT U TO HASTEN ACTION AND DO WHAT I DO REQUIRE FROM YOU TO DO BCOS OF THE TIME FACTORS AS TO PROCESS MY VISA AND COME OVER IMMEDIATELY. THANKS
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince How good to hear from you again, my dear chap, especially now that previous differences have mostly, it seems been ironed out. I saw Candice only last night as she was out to some night club or other (a bit chilly for the hot pants I must admit, but I said nothing, as she is so very headstrong like all youngsters these days). She seemed much more chipper now that you two are getting along again. She said that she had heard from you, but that she had not yet replied. Perhaps with luck you will have a reply to your recent missive before very long. I am sure that, with a little more understanding and some effort at romance, you will secure her affections entirely. On a more delicate note, my dear chap, I was wondering if you have any concrete proof of your good health and medical status to hand? Naturally once you arrive in our country we will let Dr Harold Shipman give you a routine once over, but any tests you might have had already, which are still current of course, would be very useful. I hope you don't mind me mentioning such matters but one hears of such dreadful outbreaks and illnesses in your part of the world. Of course speaking frankly, and this I am sure as men together, we know that wild oats must be sown etc etc, but at the end of the day given the status of this impending arrangement, we would not welcome the arrival of suitor with anything infectious, if you know what I mean. Such reassurances of course, would greatly assist any pending visa applications as you might imagine. They are very keen on the personal hygene of migrants at the Home Office. I await your kind response, Marmite
[Happy new year! The Persistent Prince forges onward.]
Jan 1 2006
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Happy xmas, Date: Wed, 28 Dec 2005 ,, Dear Tossov, , I have been mandated by Uncle Sir-Marmite in respective of designing a special suite for special weding ceremonial affairs that expected to be known and witnessed by the world VIP's on behalf of Prince A.Emmanuel and Princess Candy ., I understand that you are an expertin this field focus on the potential information being obtained about your good work you expectedto add a great value as to proof your professionalism. , I believe you might knew what is best for a golden prince please spare me more information on your operative network. , With Kindest Personal Regards, I Remain., HRH.PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH, CEO--UNICON, 5TH EAST KANIFING INDUSTRIAL ESTATE, PMB-424-SEREKUNDA, THE GAMBIA, TEL;00220-990974
Lonslo Tossov	PRINCE AWANKAH_I AM JUST RETURNED FROM THE CHRISTMAS BREAK AND FIND THIS SHORT INTRODUCTORY MESSAGE FROM YOURSELF IN EXPECTATION OF A QUALITY SUIT_I HAVE ALSO HAD A MORE COMPREHENSIVE BRIEFING FROM SIR MARMITE YOU WILL BE ASSURED OF THAT_VERY WELL SIR LET US SEE WHAT IS TO BE DONE_HOWEVER BEFORE I CAN COMMENCE MARKING OUT FABRIC YOU WILL DO ME THE COURTESY OF SUPPLYING KEY MEASUREMENTS ELSE YOUR FRAME WILL END UP DRAPED LIKE SOME VILLAGE MARQUEE AFTER A RAIN STORM_I WILL REQUIRE FROM YOU THE FOLLOWING: WAIST IN CMS_INSIDE LEG_CHEST_SHOULDER AND COLLAR SIZES OR WIDTHS IN SAME AND AS ACCURATELY AS POSSIBLE_ALSO AN IDEA OF WHAT CHOICE FABRIC YOUR SUIT IS TO BE MADE UP IN_I SUGGEST CUSTARD CAVALRY TWILL BUT YOU PEOPLE MAY HAVE YOUR OWN IDEAS GOING BY WHAT I HAVE SEEN OF YOUR PREMIERS DRESS SENSE_ALSO DO YOU REQUIRE DOUBLE OR SINGLE VENTING ON THE JACKET_SINGLE OR DOUBLE BREASTED DESIGN FOR THE FRONT_ELASTICATED WAIST OR DO YOU HAVE BELT AND BRACES??_FINALLY I WILL NEED TO KNOW IF YOU PREFER A WAISTCOAT AND _IF YOU TELL THE TIME A POCKET F0R THE WATCH?_AS SOON AS I HEAR BACK I WILL PLEASED TO MAKE ALL PREPARATIONS_YOU WILL ALSO NEED SUPPLY ME YOUR ADDRESS FOR THE COURIERING THE ITEMS WHEN DONE AS YOU WILL WANT TO MAKE THE BEST IMPRESSION WHEN YOU ARRIVE HERE AND NOT POP UP LIKE AN UNWELCOME DOGS DINNERS IN FRONT OF HER MAJESTY_I AM SURE THIS NEED NOT BE STRESSED TOO HIGHLY, I AWAIT YOUR REPLY SIR AND IN SHORT ORDER IF THIS MATTER IS URGENT, KINDLY REGARDS, Lonslo Tossov, Cack & Chavster Tailors, 69 Kustardt Levy, Muggins, Smegaroonshire, UR1 PRAT
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: Princess Candy, Subject: You've received an e-greeting from outgun.com - prince_tradition@outgun.com, Date: Sun, 25 Dec 2005, Dear hrhprincess_candy@hotmail.com, A greeting card from prince_tradition@outgun.com is waiting for you at, http://mymail.outgun.com/scripts/card/showcard.cgi?code=275a200512ed5449414ffca80ac1e9ec9b00ddbe69 , Please click on the above link to retrieve your card., This service is provided for free by outgun.com., You can send free greeting cards by signing up for an account at outgun.com, Please click on the link below to signup for your own account http://www.outgun.com, Your outgun.com Team
Princess Candy	Hey kool k! HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Thinken of u/happy new year, My Dearest Princess, Sincerley i would not hesitate to let u know that i felt so bad on the manner with which u do handle the issues of ours., I've written severally requesting 4 ur direct telephone number so that i can talk to u but no avail u can't even write back to me tolet me knoe the imput and out put of yours these meant to me there is practically a game being played somewhere., My heart is rottenly tottered bcos of u today is a new year which meant a new day in our life i have had resolved the task to remain faithful to u but naturally it seemto me that u have taken me for granted. , As a matter of fact, i can't fully beleived that u really love me in accordance with ur promise bcos of the nature u had have handled issues on my behalf. , I want a cogent evidence from u inorder to accomplish this mission., Yours care, Prince
Princess Candy	hi Princey how u then? , Sos i not bin able to chat mch but i bin out clubbin and stuff a lot ova chrimble & ny with my mates and evrything. Hey what u bin up to then? u bin clubbin 2? i bet u hav! an hav dance with al d gals there!!!!! , anyhows i got all ur messages an i gess we r kool now. i have spoke to Uncle M. an told him that u r sorry an that an we should try get togetha k? He ses that u seem alright but is not sure u are relly serous or that u r relly free to get marry?. anehow he sez u r getting a smart sute and all which wil b relly kool i gess., waht u sayin that i dont luv u no more then??? corse I still like u k but its just that u have bin a real nutcase messin with my feelins an all k? But u will hav to work hard an come ova soon an show me that u relly relly mean it k or i will think u jus havin a laff at my expence. I don wanto think u r just messin!!!!, so do u think of me lots then cos i hav bin u k xxxxxxx, CANDICE
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Lonslo Tossov", Dear Sir, Happy xmas and new year,thanks for your informative response with which the contents therein noted with care in compliance with your request,My waist is 34 and my lenth is 43 but i don't know about other measurement of suit therfore i suggest u send me some sample pictures of the ones u have in your stock for my perusal., Note, I want the best the address in my first letter is my office address with which can be used to dhl the package if needed be., Thanking u for ur anticipated cooperation., Prince
Lonslo Tossov	Sir, I thank you for your measurements so far as they are. However we will still require a reliable inside leg and shoulder width to begin a preliminary cutting. Kindly make every effort to get information to us as any delay will eventually effect the time it takes to send you a first fitting. As you seem uncertain as to the best cut for yourself I append the following:, International Styles & Cuts, The English style seems to be the most popular of all the schools of suit fashion, showing careful attention to detail. The jacket lies close to the body and is marked at the waist. The shoulders are soft, have little padding, and are not particularly large. The armholes are usually cut quite high. The English suit includes two side vents, even in dress suits. The double breasted jacket is more popular in England than in America where they prefer a two or three button single-breasted version, and the trousers usually have two pleats with the pockets placed along the seams. , The Italians prefer the shoulder to be quite high, padded and to sag just a bit. The jacket clings a bit more tightly to the body and has a rather narrow armhole. The jackets generally have pockets without flaps and are without vents in the back. In Italy, single or double vents are often limited to sports jackets. The Italian pants have diagonally cut pockets and a low waist, probably because the Italians do not favor wearing suspenders or vests with their close fitted suit jackets. , In America, the shoulder is more naturally soft, with an even slope and with little or no padding. Jackets almost always have three buttons, with only the center button fastened. The armholes are wider than the English version, thus providing more comfort and adaptability to different physiques. The pockets of the jacket have flaps, and the back has only one vent. The pants usually have no pleats and the fit down the leg is close., The French school comes from the style begun in the 1960's by Pierre Cardin, who designed a jacket with high shoulders and a visible little roll in the sleeve's head. This jacket is flared and very long, popular in England in the first half of the 20th century. Cardin's pants were bell-bottomed and without pleats., The German suits have always been designed for comfort and durability. The shoulder of the jacket is low and natural. The chest is prominent, providing enough room on the inside for pockets to hold wallets, notebooks, pens, etc. The pants crotch and waist are low., The Sabatini style is a mix between all the fashion schools. He suggests that men should concentrate on the executive single breasted, two-button style suit with a notched lapel and a medium fitted waist. The armhole should be 3/4� deeper than the English style, for comfort. Opt for a medium fit shoulder. The collar of the jacket should lie close to the neck and the lapel should fit the contours of the chest. Make sure the inside canvas is of medium weight; if the canvas is too heavy, your jacket will be stiff. On the other hand a too light canvas will not work in the heat and humidity of summer. Your jacket will have no body and will appear wrinkled and worn. The proper executive style suit jacket will have no vents or maybe one, if you are tall and thin. The no-vent jacket is especially important for men who are a little heavy in the seat. These men should absolutely stay away from side vents. The jacket should contain two outside convertible flap pockets (This allows you the freedom to use the flaps or fold them inside the pocket) and enough inside pockets to hold your pocket computer, pens, cell phone, and change. The sleeves will have four buttons with open, working buttonholes., Choose the finest quality fabric you can afford and your suit will last you 15 years or longer, none of your native workmanship here! 100% woven wool is best for year-round wear. Wool is a natural fiber and breathes so you can be comfortable, even in very warm weather. You won't have to have a fine wool suit dry-cleaned very often if you hang it in the evening after wearing it. The wrinkles will fall out by morning and you can usually spot-clean wool with a little water. , **** SIR IN ADDITION I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY TO ATTACH A FEW SAMPLES_INCLUDING ONE OF THE AS I UNDERSTAND IT TRADITIONAL NATIVE FABRIC STYLE_ FOR YOUR PERUSAL AND SELECTION. MORE CAN BE PROVIDED BUT HURRY UP MAN AND MAKE YOUR CHOICE AS I UNDERSTAND TIME IS PRESSING??
Jan 4 2006
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Dear Tossov, In view of fact and substance i do suggest u contact my wife or Uncle Marmite to sendu my picture therein u can know what to do next., Thanks
Lonslo Tossov	AWANKAH_ I HAVE NOW SEEN THIS IMAGE OF YOURS AND UNFORTUNATELY IT GIVES A POOR IDEA OF YOUR POSTURE LET ALONE THE OUTSTANDING MEASUREMENTS REQUIRED_GOOD GOD MAN YOU ARE ALL SLUMPED ON ONE SIDE LIKE A DISCARDED FLOUR SACK_IS THERE NO OTHER IMAGE OR PRECISE DETAILS YOU CAN PROVIDE?_I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY BUT HERE WE TAKE A PRIDE IN OUR WORK AND THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH SOME BAGGY PANTED {CENSORED} MAKING THE WRONG SORT OF IMPACT AT THE PALACE IN MY HANDIWORK_REPLY AT ONCE WITH SOME MORE USEFUL DATA AND STOP THIS ANNOYING DELAY IF YOU PLEASE AS WE NEED TO PRESS ON NOW, T [ We censored Tossov here. The word was not the one you may be thinking of, but offensive enough in an out-of-date way. We prefer to leave extreme insults to the Lads. Allowances are made for Tossov because he learned English from American plantation owners kidnapped by the KGB. In all other respects he is a superb asset to the Foreign Office, can drink anyone at Scamorama under the table, and is kind to his social inferiors.]
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Candice Windsor" My Baby , Happy new year in advance, I can see that u like clubing do that makes u happy?. I'm not of course the kind of man u might think i'm my word is my bond, i can never love ,dance or do anything with any other woman except u whom i have devoloped interest emotionally. Perhap u might be there being unfaithfull to me but whenicome over there i know how to check that hole to know how many stone had past there as for me i have promised to remain 100% faithful to u forever. As for my presence, Frantic effort has made by Uncle Sir Marmite all what remain now is the basic documentation which should be sent from ur end to UK-Embassy in the gambia to enable me obtain a visa here-off as soon as this is done, my body and soul will be there to feed ur emotion but the fact remain , how strong ar u to swim such great deepest Ocean?. Loooooooooooooooooovingggggggggggg uuu always Prince Please send me ur direct cell phone number during ur response.
Princess Candy	Hiya Prinny Yea I'm keen on clubbin can u tel lol? i bin clubbin in lots of places with my mates. What u do then at weekends u eva go an hav fun? I bet u do. hey if we gonna be married then u hav 2 b honest k bout what u got up to an al, an u dont say much. If u want the papers the Sir M will hav to go through Mr Barrymore, has he mentioned him yet? he does all special stuff like wat u r afta and he send out papers an stuff k. ask Uncle M an he will tell u k. he might even do the licence for our weddin!!!!! Hey wat u get for Chrimbo then? I got outfits and clubbing gear it was fab. also CDs an that. ur so romntic lol its cute k CANDICE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jan 6 2006
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	[ Possibly "Prince" E. has finally noticed and taken offence at the censored word above. ] To: "Lonslo Tossov" Subject: Re: Forget about me pls I seriously condemn man of inhumanity to man being encoding with Abusive word i'm from a royal traditional family in Nigeria well-known crude oil blessed country. My atar is of the traditional dress of Africa u don't expect me to wear suite the way u people do in western world and note that u are not even up-to the class of designers that designs my wear hence u are being coded with abusive word, i suggest u forget about everthing i will do shoping in paris as i prefer french blazer suite before arriving in london upon my visitation thereto./ Please don't ever write to me again hence-forth watch ur back i will appear in ur room soonest
Lonslo Tossov	AWANKAH_I AM AT A LOSS TO EXPLAIN YOUR SUDDEN ABUSIVE TONE SIR WHEN I HAVE SIMPLY PROVIDED YOU WITH A LIST OF OPTIONS IN SO FAR AS PROVIDING YOU WITH THE SUIT REQUESTED??_I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOU ARE OILY ROYALTY AT HOME WITH YOUR OWN DISTINCT NATIONAL DRESS STYLE BUT AS I AM SURE YOU WILL APPRECIATE AN AUDIENCE WITH THE POWERS THAT BE IN THIS COUNTRY DEMANDS MORE THAN A QUILT THROWN OVER YOUR BACK AND STRAW SHOES_SINCE YOU HAVE DECLINED THE PROFESSIONAL HELP OF MY COMPANY I SHALL REGRETFULLY REPORT SAME TO SIR MARMITE WHO WILL NO DOUBT BE ASTONISHED AT YOUR ABRUPT TURN OF MANNER_HOWEVER I WASH MY HANDS OF YOU AS THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WE HAVE ATTEMPTED CORRECTIVE WORK ON YOUR WARDROBE ONLY TO FACE A LAST MINUTE SNUB_I HAVE DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WASTE IN THIS FASHION SIR _I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT T
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	I depreciate such abusive offer of yours requim to your diabolic proffesionalsm in the light of this, i insist you forget anything about me i have enough money to do my shoping in one of supper store in paris.
Lonslo Tossov	VERY WELL SIR BUT DONT BLAME ME IF YOU END UP LOOKING LIKE A JEAN PAUL GAULTIER DRAGGED THROUGH A HEDGE BACKWARDS_BUT FOR GODS SAKE GET A SECOND OPINION BEFORE YOU TURN UP HERE FOR INTRODUCTIONS FRESH OFF THE BOAT_FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT FOR MUCH_ AS I AM SURE YOU ARE AWARE SIR AND GOING BY YOUR PHOTOGRAPH YOU NEED ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET T
Sundiata Keita <suncetta@yahoo.com>	[ Enter someone new - it is unclear how he is connected to the "Prince", or why he is e-mailing a group dedicated to tracking scams of the sort being exposed here. ] [ It turned out later that Tossov, in his enthusiasm, had been posting to yet another group of anti-scammers. We are not sure if the nobly but probably only dramatically named 'Sundiata Keita' is one of these. In any event, he took offence.] From: Sundiata Keita To: Nigerian_Scam@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: [Nigerian_Scam] TO PRINCE WANKARUH WHAT THE HECK! HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS AFRICAN OUR PRINCE LIKE THAT? I AM SURE YOU WILL BE VERY MINDFUL WHEN ADDRESSING YOUR WHITE PRINCE, THE LIKES OF THE PRINCE OF WALES. THIS IS ONE OF THE CRUDEST FORM OF RACISM I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED. AND THIS COMES FROM SOMEBODY, WHO PURPORTS HIMSELF TO BE A FRIEND OF BLACK PEOPLE. MY FRIEND, I WILL ADVISE YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE WANKURAH OR YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF BLAK PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD. YOU HAVE 72 HOURS OR YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS WILL FACE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES NOT EXCLUDING A LAWSUIT IN 100 JURISDITIONS. WE WILL MAKE YOU BROKE. THE BLACK RACE WILL NOT BE TRAMPLED.
Lonslo Tossov	SUNDIAL_FOR GODS SAKE YOU MAY REST ASSURED THAT I ADHERE TO A STRICT LIMIT OF ACCEPTABLE INSULTING WITH MY PROVOCATIVE COMMENTS TO THESE FELLOWS AND CONSIDER FAUX COLONIALISM WITH LIVELY ARROGANCE AND PERSONAL INSULTS IN THE LIGHT OF THEIR BUSINESS PRACTICES AS FAR FROM GENUINE RACISM AS PRINCE AWANKAH IS FROM LIKELY MARITAL CONNECTION WITH THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY_YOU MAY WISH TO KNOW THAT I ACTUALLY EMPLOY TWO WHITE AMERICANS IN MY CUTTING DEPARTMENT HERE AND HAVE HAD LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THEM_AS FOR THIS LEGAL ACTION SIR I AWAIT DUE PROCESS KEENLY BUT WILL BE HAPPY TO PREPARE YOU A PAIR OF OUR FINEST ELASTICATED PANTS IN LIEU OF COMPENSATION SHOULD YOU PREFER TO AVOID SCANDAL IN THIS INSTANCE PHILANTHROPIC REGARDS
Jan 7 2006
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Lonslo Tossov" Don't worry yourself Uncle Marmite, My Wife and Princess Margret knows me better than you and they all knows what to do next.
Lonslo Tossov	AWANKAR_I TRUST SINCERELY THAT THEY DO AND YOU SOON GET WHAT YOU DESERVE_SMART JACKET AND PANTS OR NOT_CLEARLY I CANNOT HELP YOU MORE T
Spring Update!
Let's get caught up on events since the New Year! Tossov began by smoothing the ruffled feathers of the mysterious 'Keita'.
Lonslo Tossov	I HAD NO IDEA OF THE LOCAL MEANING OF THIS INSULT WHICH I USED PURELY AS I LIKE THE SOUND OF IT_IF IT IS INDEED HIGHLY OFFENSIVE AS YOU ALLEGE ON RACIAL GROUNDS I WILL NATURALLY ENDEAVOUR TO STRIKE FROM FURTHER REMARKS MADE BY YOURS TRULY_REST ASSURED THAT I TAKE MATTERS OF THIS SORT VERY SERIOUSLY PHILANTHROPIC REGARDS
Sundiata Keita <suncetta@yahoo.com>	SCANDAL? I ENJOY YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR AND YOUR DISPOSITION TOWARDS PLATITUDES. I'M NO COMMONER WHO MASQUERADES WITH YOUR PAIR OF ELASTICATED PANTS, WHICH ARE BEST SUITED FOR A PRACTICING CLOWN. NOW YOU ARE OFFERING A BRIBE TO AN OFFICIAL AGENT OF HM GOVERNMENT. SIR, YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE. I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND BEHIND BARS, SIR.
Lonslo Tossov	GOOD GOD SUNDIAL HAVE YOU NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAT WRITE THIS DISTACTING DRIVEL?_SOME OF US HAVE BUSINESSES TO RUN FOR GODS SAKE_WHCH IS A MATTER I IMAGINE MILES AWAY FROM YOUR OWN IDLE AND INCAPACIATED EXISTENCE_I SUGGEST INSTEAD OF CROSSING YOUR WEARISOME WITS WITH MYSELF YOU CHOSE A SCAMBOY MUGU AND SUBJECT HIM TO THE SAME CONCENTRATION OF EFFORT AS ITS RESULTS WILL BE FAR MORE EDIFYING_I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT
Lonslo Tossov	MADAM I HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED BY MY CLIENT HRH PRINCESS MARGARET TO MAKE CONTACT WITH YOU IN REGARDS TO SOME URGENT BUSINESS AND AM HEREWITH PLACING MYSELF AT YOUR DISPOSAL_KINDLY REMIT ALL RELEVANT DETAILS EXCEPTING IF SUB JUDICE FOR MY ANALYSIS AND I OR MY OFFICE WILL RESPOND SOONEST_ALSO PLEASE ENSURE THAT ALL MATTERS ARE KEPT STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL AS WE DO NOT WANT ANY NATIVE WHISPERS AND GRATUITOUS GOSSIPING AT YOUR END OVER THE INVOLVEMENT OF THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR IN THIS UNORTHODOX MATTER I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT AWAITING YOUR SOONEST PROFESSIONAL REPLY
Sundiata Keita <suncetta@yahoo.com>	THIS MAN IS A SCAM. DO YOU HAVE A LETTER OF APPOINTMENT FROM THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR. I AM GOING TO SEND THIS MAIL TO THE MI5. YOU ARE IMPERSONATING, A CRIMINAL OFFENCE.
Lonslo Tossov	INDEED SIR_KINDLY GIVE M15 MY KINDEST REGARDS WHEN NEXT YOU WRITE THEM_HOWEVER A FICTICIOUS PERSON REPRESENTING A DEAD ONE HAS NOT BEEN A CRIMINAL OFFENCE FOR SOME TIME HOWEVER 419 SCAMS ARE_I CAN ASSURE YOU AND YOUR WIVES OF THAT
Sundiata Keita <suncetta@yahoo.com>	SIR:YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE. I DON'T TAKE AFFRONTS LIGHTLY. NOW YOUR ASSERTION THAT I'M POLYGAMOUS TANTAMOUNTS TO SLANDER. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF A MILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT. PLEASE RECANT. THANK YOU
Lonslo Tossov	SIR I WILL NO DOUBT SEE YOU IN COURT ON ONE CHARGE OR ANOTHER IN ANY CASE
Sundiata Keita <suncetta@yahoo.com>	HIS EXCELLENCY SIR: THANK YOU FOR YOUR MISSIVE. MY MOTHER REQUESTED ME TO EXERCISE RESTRAINT AND MAGNANIMITY IN THIS MATTER. REVENGE IS MINE, SAY THE LORD. AND THERE IS ONLY ONE COURT OF JUSTICE:THAT OF THE LORD. MAY I PROFFER MY HAND TO YOU TO ACCEPT ME AS YOUR BROTHER. AND LET BYGONES BE BYGONES. I HAVE THE HIGHEST REGARD FOR YOUR PERSON AND YOUR PHILANTHROPIC MISSION.IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR TAILORING BUSINESS FOR ROYALTY. I'M INTERESTED IN A SUIT. THANKS FOR THE UNDERSTANDING
Lonslo Tossov	GOOD GOD SIR I AM RELIEVED THAT YOU SEE THE BENEFITS OF A GOOD FITTING UP THROUGH MY PHILANTHROPIC AUSPICES_UNFORTUNATELY I RESERVE MY FINEST WORK FOR NIGERIAN BUSINESSMEN AND THEIR ILK HOWEVER I MAY BE ABLE TO RUSH THROUGH A PAIR OF PLUS FOURS AND A DONKEY JACKET SHOULD THIS BE SATISFACTORY_A STYLE MUCH FAVOURED BY THE CURRENT PRINCE OF WALES DURING HIS HORTICULTURAL SOJURNS_ELASTICATED OR NOT THEY QUICKLY MAKE THE WEARER A MAGNET FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX_I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT PHILANTHROPICALLY YOURS
Sundiata Keita <suncetta@yahoo.com>	THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTION. I AM DEFINITELY NOT INTERESTED TO MASQUERADE LIKE THE PRINCE OF WALES. WITH MY DUE RESPECTS, MY AFRICAN MATERIAL IS MADE OF A MORE NOBLER QUALITY THAN THE HOUSE OF WINDSORS. I APPRECIATE YOUR KIND GESTURE. IF YOU COME UP WITH A BETTER OPTION, PLEASE CALL ME @ 713.213.7854 IN SPACE CITY,USA.
Lonslo Tossov	A KIND OFFER BUT ONE WHICH I SHALL SADLY DECLINE
Prince Emmanuel "NonGovernmental Organization" prince_iaewp@37.com	My Dearest Sweet heart-Princess Candy , Please kindly accept my appoligies in any area in which i have offended you, please forgive me, can you?. My heart is troubled,i can't eat nor sleep,my heart long for you everyday and knight. Please forget whatever my condition or nature could be focus on future, I'm for you forever,i promise. Please come back to your sweet heart-pleaaaaaaase. Hoping to hear from you again. Yours-in-Love Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Princess Candy	hi prince what u up to then? i was clubbin last night. u like that? hope ur well still and big kisses hey dont get mad cos i am sure urll find someone k u seem sweet guy k? CANDICE XXXXX HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor hey kool he still loves me lol but not so keen on clubbin : -(
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Subject: Thinkin of u Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 My Darling, Hav u received my responsive mail? I wonder what is going on at ur end? i hope all is well with u? note, ur problem is my problem we have to share it together so stop hiding ur feelings from me. Would u like me to visit u in UK or would u come down to Visit me?, Baby i knew that i have hurt u b4, but never again again i promise, do u accept my appology?. Note, my love 4 u is forever Looking to hear from u soonest Prince
Princess Candy	Hey prince yes i was bit upset when u just went of and did not say anythin bout what was the matter. i had feelin that u dont love me ane more!!! so wat happen then y did u go cold, it was v upsettin. :- (( if u want to cum & visit me kool and i expekt i culd put u up at the palace but i am not sure i want 2 now! my uncle Marmite may not want u round much as he will think u r afta my cash lol also if u don like clubbin wat will we do wen we get togetha then???
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 My Darling, Thanks 4 ur warm mail, as regard to ur question, I wholeheartedly promised to remain faithful to u and standby u in any point also i can never let u down, how about u? Baby, the picture u send cannot be opened i tried but to no avail therefore i would like u to resend in normal attachment to :hrhprince_emmanuel2020@hotmail.com . NB, It seems that ur parent is not in line with the level of our understanding and communication?, these bcos I received mail from ur Uncle asking some embarassive questions in the light of this, i want u to open-up to ur parent let them to know about everthing between us I have done thesame to my parent too that i have found a girl i will marry and spend my entire life with--- forever, please advise. Please tell ur mother i would like to hear from her . Yours care Prince
Princess Candy	hiya Manny Its k cos my uncle M. sez we can keep chattin at least for a bit ;-)))). I told him that i was keen on u right and said rite back that he wuld hav a think which is kool i gess for him. sos u lost my pic but i hav send it again with this mess k? do u relly want to speak to my mum then? cos if u do I will ask her write an stuff k but she may not like u k hey u sure u dont like clubbin? :-(
Prince Emmanuel From: "NonGovernmental Organization" <prince_iaewp@37.com>	To: Charles Farnes-Barnes Date: Wed, 16 Nov 2005 Dear Sir, Your esteemed favoured mail have been received and the contents therein noted with care. Presently , i'm the process as to put things in places thereafeter I will bring to your favorable notice upon my readiness to come down to London. Do you require any further informaton or clarification? Regards Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes	My Dear Prince, No further notification is required. However, I will of course need the invoice from your travel agent to reimburse you before you leave for London. Yours truly, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Prince Emmanuel From: "NonGovernmental Organization" <prince_iaewp@37.com>	To: Sir Marmite Luny-Binns Date: Wed, 16 Nov 2005 Dear Sir, Thanks I'm very grateful for the step you have took as to water the ground of this noble relationship of ours. I have written to my parent sequel to the on-going issues athand just to bring to their favourable notice. I'm still awaiting to hear from them however i would prefer the flight ticket to be sent than cash as your partner had have informed me that you have authorised him to do so and note that the ticket will be attached with an official letter of invitation in which a copy will be forwarded to the british embassy for procession of my visa hereoff. You ask if i'm circumcised, as you are aware, I'm a Roman Catholic Family brought -up the family maintain the catholic doctrine circumcission is being done at my childish age and upon my arrival to your end feel free to conduct any medical check-up and note, i'm naturally a preserved child. I have not got the picture of Princess Candy the attachment being sent cannot be opened due to the nature of the programme being used therefore I would like her to resend it in a normal way as I do. Once again ,thanks for your cooperation and understanding I promised I will make sure everything being done-x-y-z. Please kindly extend my warm greetings to my Golden Mother,HM,PRINCESS MARGRET. With Kindest Personal Regards, I Remain. Faithfully Yours Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dec 1 Dear Prince Emmanuelle What exactly are your intentions towards my niece? Scarcely are serious arrangements coming into place, at no little trouble here, I might add, when you vanish into thin air, with hardly so much as a word and certainly no apology. If you have really lost interest in this matter, kindly do Us the favour of confirming the fact, as I know that Candice is severely upset over this lamentable toying with her affections. Sir, I have a feeling that you are proving a cad, indeed more of an opportunistic vagabond than of royal blood. But I still hope to be dissuaded from such a view by some gentlemanly explanation. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC Regis Court Chamberlain The Court of St James Broadmoor London FU2 GIT 0909 674 4848 http://www.freewebs.com/sirmarmite/index.htm
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: Princess Candy Subject: Thinkin of u Date: Sat, 24 Dec 2005 (empty -- that's all there was)
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Jan 6 Dear Prince Emmanuelle I have heard from Mr Tossov that you have no longer need of the suit? Is this true? He mentions that you intend wearing some sort of blazer to court?? We will have to insist on a tie, you know. Also how are you getting on with Candice? I tried to find out news from her last night but she was on her way out to a night club and was unable to give me much information. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Candice Windsor" Fri, 06 Jan 2006 My Dearest Princess, I can't retail or detail to u much more about me any more untill we sees each other as u can't even trust whatever i might tell u but almight God is my witness i came from a royal traditional family which tradition and culture must be maintained practically we always remain faithfull to our loved ones especially our wife. I know u can never beleive me that i don't have any other person i loved except u my darling it has been my wish to have a responsible someone from a responsible family with which God has answered prayer. As regard to ur request, u can go-ahead permit ur Uncle to prepare a marrige licenced of ours as that can help hasten the action in procession of my visa here-off. Baby naturally i don't care whatever u does my love for u is forever but when i come down over i will forth-with test the hole to know how many rod has past there?. All i want u to do now is to add more presure to ur uncle inorder to put in place the relevant infrastructures that would enhance the effectiveness of this issue highlighted and thus turn this programm around. Loviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig u Prince Emmanuel Awuruh 5th east kanifing industrial estate pmb-424-serekunda the gambia Tel;00220-9910974
Princess Candy	Hi Prinny xxx hey thanks for writin again an all sos i hav not got bak but hav bin shoppin clubbin and doing stuff k lol, hey to b honest i am sorta lookin around for d wedding stuf what is out ther just in case u is serious ;-) what colurs do u like for the brides then?? i quite lik pink but u hav to chose as u r d man!!! anehow how u bin an r u rellly relly miissin me den??? xxx hey can u send me more pics of u then cos i only hav 1 or 2 an i hav that on my pc as screensava but need mor k. hav u anythin takn in bathin costume then?? kos that wuld be relly kool! but not rude stuf k!! i hav shown ur pic to my frien Eve and she is sur ur a sexy guy!!!!! k then i will sign of now but i have her wat u said about talkin to Uncle M an i will do that 4 u k also wen u do want come ova? Uncle M sez u are not very sure?? bfn then k C XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor 221B Baker Street Royal Butlins Palace Kensington London FU2 GIT England
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes	8 January 2006 Dear Prince I am interrupting my vacation in Smegaroon to say how upset I am that you were offended by the Court Tailor, Lonslo Tossov, who apparently insulted you. Although this must have been distressing for you, I can inform you that Mr Tossov is not a racist. Indeed, he employs workers from all over the world including South Africa and Zambia. However, his command of English is not good and I think he was unaware that his words were insulting. However, this is by the by. Of better news is that Princess Candy's Uncle, the Duke of Tesco, has instructed me to forward 2,000 golden dorks to you so that you can buy your air ticket to London. If you give me your ban details, I will transfer the cash later this week on my return to London. Yours truly, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Chief Executive Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Tue, 10 Jan 2006 Dear Sir, When are u ready to send the gold?, do u require further information in this regard?,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes	10 January My Dear Prince, I just need the address of your bank and the name and number of your account. It should then be possible to transfer the cash within a few days. Yours sincerely, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Chief Executive Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Thanks but I prefer western union money transfer as i needed things to be done urgently
Ms Tushie Meshuganah	Dear Prince, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes is out of the office until Monday January 16 and will respond to your e-mail on his return. Yours truly, Private Secretary to Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Chief Executive Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	My Dearest Uncle, In view of facts and substance, I and Candy are vehemently tired of email communication we need to join our body and soul together i could comprehend the way she felt and I felt thesameway too therefore you are hereby require with earnest to urgently provide the vital impetus that would enhance the effectivenes of this issue in the proposition make a provision sequel to my requisition. I did not deject or reject the said offer of the garment to be design by youR tailor but the fact is that i cannot stand the colour of abussive word from the said tailor even the president of my coutry has no right to voice such in the circumstance, i suggest you find another good designer or i can simply do my shoping in paris upon my arrival to ur end. Note, I and my wife Candy need to be together so hasten action everthing remain at your side. Thanks for your cooperation PRINCE
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Manny (if I may be so bold) I fail to see how this sudden spate of petulancy can help matters. First you decline a perfectly good outfitting from Tossov, then ask me to arrange matters somewhere else. This is hardly the good graciousness I associate with one of your pedigree, if I must say so. I am still keen, however, to bring Candice and yourself together - for a trial meeting at least, but your rueful recalcitrance is baffling. On a different note, after some discussion here I think we should be able to arrange your transit with all the introductory letters needed and what not. Our man Sir Michael Barrymore, head of the Commonwealth Special Visa section will be able to fill you in. You may expect his contact shortly. Kindly have your documents ready. Candice sends her love by the way, and asks why you don't write more often. (I rely upon her account as far as this is concerned) Kindly rectifiy this and reassure the young sprite of your continuing affection. Clubbing is her life but I am sure you hold her heart. MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" Fri, 13 Jan 2006 My dearest uncle, Note, Emperior are still currently in Isreal: You should first understand my stand as a Prince as such i can't wear any material being designed by such a man of abussive word if you cannot handle this issue I can personally handle it by my self all i want from you now is to put in place the relevant infrastrures in this regard. As i intimated you before, all I and Candy needed now is to keep our body and soul together email communication cannot solve this problem and this end I wait for your reaction here-off. Prince
Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle I am afraid I can't make head not tail of this last one, old boy, it's so much native gibberish to us here. What exactly are you saying? There is no Emperor of Israel, or are you joking when you suggest (i think?) a relation between you? Do you mean Abysinnia? Isn't he dead? By the way do you want elasticated pants or not? I can still persuade Tossov to run some off, I believe he has your waist size. Candice sends a big hug. MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Sat, 14 Jan 2006 My Dearest Princess, Iam pleased to hear from u as a matter of fact, i want u to send me ur new picture bcos i have sent mine to u therefore i want yours thereafeter i will detailise u here-off.
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: Sir Marmite Luny-Binns Sun, 15 Jan 2006 Dear Uncle, Feel free i have every proof of my health but upon my presence at your end you can invite your doctor for more test and examination OK. Thanks Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	16 Jan Dear Manny Excellent news sir, you will excuse our caution in these delicate matters. We would not want our niece to catch anything untoward, as I am sure you appreciate. Are you also willing to provide a specimen? We are, after all, eventually anticipating issue from this union. MARMITE
Princess Candy	21 Jan Hi Prnce sos i not bin able to rite much hey what u been up 2 then? hav u bin good an that lol??? i hope so cos u promised yeh. i hav bin away with my uncle on the ski an we have grate time, but i fel and twisted my ankle so culdnt go clubbin :-(((((( ane how i am back now and what pic u want again cos din i sent u some othas just few weeks back an all? u saying u want rude ones an that cos i wuld not do that even if we gon to b marry right. i mean uncle would kil me and stuff if i did that k wen u coming ova anehow??????????? i am geting bored of wating for this 2 happen k!!!!! plese hury up k Cxxxxxx HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Candice Windsor" Sun, 22 Jan 2006 My dearest Sweat Heart, Iam pleased to hear from u and of your mush trip of enjoyment with ur Uncle with which had of course reduced the commotion of clubalistic mometum of yours. I require for ur new pictures bcos the very one u sent to me i couldn't view it out and i notified u in that regard didn't i?. I don't understand what u meant by nude picture i have never ask for such perhaps u are communicating with somebody else who ask for such did'n u?. Inur last mail u said that u will tell ur uncle to prepare a marriage Certificate of ours but up till now i couldn't see anything, what is going on?. In ur previous mail u ask of my favourite colour, as u already know our body and soul has been combined so, our dress should be in uniform meanwhile, i like darkorange colour. Baby,the delay is being occured at ur side all i needed to commence the procession of m visa are an official document from ur end therefore is ur duty to address this issue with ur uncle by using the power of woman in u. Sincerely i want to have ur new pictures, if u want to send, these are the best method, 1.scan the pictures and save it in the desktop or document in ur computer. 2.go toattachment in ur email box click attachment, 3.click the name in which u used in saving the picture then wait to download and attached then click send. Baby, I'm longing to meet u please try to hasten action i'm feeling lonely hereoff. Loviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig u always Yours care Prince
Princess Candy	hiya Manny poos hey how u then? I bin off a bit with a cold an studyin an that but now i am back k? NO I AM CHATTIN SOMWUN ELS K!!!!!!!! y u say that?? i was onle reply to wot u said k bout a pic. k then i have attached new 1 an hope u get that. hav u not heard from Uncle M then?? i will ask an see wot is goin on k. i spect he is waitin to chat to Mr Barrymore who wil do such stuf but Mr M is in Australia an is bit slow k, ken u not ask him to hury as he just gets cros wiv me and i dont want that k. hav u given him al he wants then. hey i went clubbin last night an it was kool. u like hip hop?? u like dark orange then i red in your stuff? hey i got a Nintendog unit that color it wil match lol!!! u have on of those or u have x box like my bro? anehow i have attched my pic an hop u like it!!! write soon anyhow and tell me stuff. HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor From HRH Candice to Scamorama: Hey ur site is kool !! anehow he wrote this earlier k but i dnt rite bak as i was out clubbin k
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Candice Windsor" Fri, 27 Jan 2006 My Dearest Princess, Thanks for your warm reply i can see u ar fully enjoying urself over there with ur loved ones,istn't?. I could comprehend that ur end is very cold now and thesame weather we are facing here in the gambia but i do survive the coldness by drinking my champagn and play my soft rock music . I wonder why u cannot be able to attached ur picture properly sincerely the picture cannot be opened due to improperity way is being attached. I have not heared from your Uncle in this regard, i want u to use the power of woman in u to spark-up this procession or do u like the delay to continue?. Baby everthing depends on u and ur parent to expedite action upon your response , please send me ur direct cell phone so that i can call u for oral dicscussion. Lovinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg u Prince
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Thinkin of u Fri, 24 Feb 2006 My Dearest Princess, How ar u over there?, please i'm very sorry that i have not write to u ever since these bcos i traveled to Provencial area in Senegal ON ngo project. How about your uncle and your mum?, i hope they are fine?. As a matter of fact, i have prepared to come and meet u any moment from now i will appear to u the time u never expected therefore i will not retail or detail to u the date and time but surely soonest u will see me. Please remain cool baby all is well my heart always tottered bcos of u. Loviiiiiiiiiiiig u Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Princess Candy	Mar 2 hiya prince kool cos i was jus wondring wat was up an if u stil loved me k an all. i went clubin last nite an met this otha guy an almost we went for it but i knu u wuld rite back soon an stuff so i did not do anething k!!!! anyways it has been ages since u have writen now, an I am not sure Uncle M is stil keen on the idea as u have messed with him so much, u best rite to him an see wat he sez if u relly want cum ova then kool and we can go out clubin an that but i am not sure i can trust u now :-(((( C xxxxxxx HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" Mon, 13 Mar 2006 My Dearesr Uncle, Thanks for your mail but i don�t comprended all that u meant please advise me. Note, every thing at ur hand try to place things in place. Regards
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince I am afraid this business between yourself and Princess Candice is not really working out. You have an annoying habit of making and then breaking promises, and we have yet to see hide or hair of you at the Palace for a getting to know you session that we had wished. Are you serious or not? Mr Tossov seems to think not and I am inclined to agree with him, even though one hates to side with trade. But the fact remains that I simply cannot have the heart of my niece toyed with in this fashion sir. It seems a shame, as we had a nice dowry lined up to celebrate such an auspicious betrothal, but matters have proved too much of strain for us and we fear being spread too thinly in this business. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Ms Tushie Meshuganah	14 March 2006 Dear Prince, You state that you cannot understand why Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Grand Tesco and Lady Prioress of The Holy Bagel Community is annoyed with you. As one of Her Royal Highness' financial advisers - and a fellow African from Zambia - may I remind you that you were supposed to fly to Britain and meet Princess Candice. My boss, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes, offered to pay all your expenses including a car to take you to Lagos Airport; a business class return ticket to London; a driver and car to take you to the Palace and [if memory serves me right] five hundred golden dorks for expenses. Yet not only did you not take up Sir Charles' offer but you did not have the courtesy to write back to him. Perhaps his e-mail never reached you. However, should you wish to take up this offer, e-mail me as soon as possible and I will put the wheels in motion. Remain blessed, MS TUSHIE MESHUGANAH Chief Cashier Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC London, England PS My private mobile line is xxxxxxxxxx
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Sun, 19 Mar 2006 Subject: THANKS Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 FOR THE ATTENTION OF TUSHIE MASHUNGANAH, THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN, THE FACT IS THAT SIR-MARMITE HAS TO MARRY PRINCESS CANDY, NOTE, THERE IS A LOT OF QUEENS,IE, WEALTHY LADIES FROM ROYAL FAMILIES IN MY COUNTRY NIGERIA THAT WANT TO MARRY A PRESERVED NATURE LIKE ME, SO IF I'M LOOKING FOR MONEY THEN, I SHOULD THEREFORE SWING INTO ACTION WITH THEM BUT UPON THEIR MONEY , THEY CAN'T EVEN HAVE A MAN WHO CAN LOVE THEM, DO YOU THING MONEY CAN BUY LOVE?. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T NEED MONEY FROM ANYBODY FOR ANY THING I CAN FOOT MY BILLS,OK. AT FIRST WHEN I WAS CONTRACTED AND IMPURED WITH CHARITY ORGANIZATION AFFARS, I CONTACTED PRINCESS MARGRET FOR ASSISTANCE OF WHICH I WAS LATER TURNED DOWN THEREAFTER ALL THE INFORMATION WAS PLACED BY SIR MARMITE IN THE INTERNET AS IF I'M A FRAUDSTER OF WHICH SINCERELY I DON'T HAVE ANY INTENTION OF SUCH, MY ORGANIZATION WHICH-IS UNIPHFOUNDATION.INC(REG:85/2000) WAS DULY REGISTERED AND APPROVED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE GAMBIA OF WHICH PROGRESS TO DATE HAS SO PHENOMINAL THAT THE SAID ORGANIZATION HAS INITIATED -(UNICON) TO ACT IN RESPECT OF REDUCTION OF UNEMPLOYMENT AND STARVATION WHICH IS THE POTENTIAL CONTRIBUTOR TO THE WORLD CRIME RATE TODAY. PROGRESSIVELY , THE AFORESAID ORGANIZATION ALSO COLLABORATED WITH INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF EDUCATORS FOR WORLD PEACE(IAEWP) WITH WHICH I'M THE NATIONAL CHANCELLOR IN THE GAMBIA,PLEASE IS THERE ANY LAW ON BEGGING ?,SO, WHICH AREA HAVE I CONTRAVENED THE LAW THAT I DESERVED SUCH PUNISHMENT OF HANGING ME ON THE INTERNET AS FRAUSDSTER OF WHICH MY FAMILY IS NOW AGAINST ME BCOS OF THAT IAM FACING A BIG PROBLEM IN MY FAMILY JUST BCOS OF THAT.U CAN VIEW ON THE INTERNET:http://www.scamorama.com/agathon-ngo.html FURTHERMORE, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY LOVED PRINCESS CANDY BUT DISCOVERED MANY THINGS THEREIN,NOTE, I'M A MAN OF MYSELF,I LOOKED FORWARD TO MARRY A WOMAN WHO WILL LOVE ME FOR WHOM IAM NOT WHAT IAM,OK. NOTE, MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT WHAT LAST FOREVER THEREFORE PRINCESS CANDY HAVE TO FULLY KNOW WHAT IS THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE,IF IT IS THE WILL OF GOD THAT ME AND HER WILL BE HUSBAND AND WIFE, LET IT BE, OTHERWISE SHE CAN FOUND ANOTHER MAN THERE IS A LOT OF MAN OUT THERE LOOKING FOR WEALTH PRINCESS TO MARRY,OK, I HOPE SHE HAS A ENOUGH MONEY TO ENTER IN TO THE MARKET OF LOVE AND BUY THEM?. MANY PEOPLE TALKS BAD ABOUT NIGERIANS BUT END OF THE DAY THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS NIGERIAN,IF U START SWEEPING THE WHOLE STREET EVERYDAT, DO U THINK EVERYBODY WILL BE PLEASED?,IN ANY COUNTRY THERE IS GOOD AND BAD PEOPLE,OK, IN UNITED KINGDOM, CAN U GIVE PROOF 100% PROOF OF GOOD PEOPLE?. TUSHIE, IF U ARE IN MY SHOE, U WILL KNOW WHERE IT PAINA ME. I SUGGEST LET PRINCESS CANDY GET MARRIED TO SIR MARMITE OR WHOM ELSE, AS FOR ME, I KNOW WHERE I'M HEADING TO AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME,OK THE LIVING GOD I SERVED IS THE OWNER OF THE WORLD AND WITH HIM I CAN HAVE ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT I NEED IN MY LIFE IAM A YOUNG MAN WITH A BRIGHTING FUTURE. PRESENTLY, IAM IN REPUBLIC OF GUINEA BISSAU IN RESPECT OF MY COMMITMENT WITH HUMANITY WE HAVE A DEVELOPMENT PROJECT IN COLLABORATION WITH -IAEWP- www.diplomacyjournal.com/iaewp.org_backup%2002-23-2006/ download/advisory_board_members.pdf . I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DIRECT GSM NUMBER OF PRINCESS CANDY, SOMETIMES I WONDER IF REALLY SHE EXIST SUCH WIFE WHOM I CAN EVEN HEAR HER VOICE. TUSHIE, I WISH TO THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR WARM COOPERATION AND UNDERSTANDING AND HOPING TO KICK THE BALL ROLLING AND TO THIS END, I WAIT FOR YOUR HOT RESPONSE. WITH KINDEST PERSONAL REGARDS, I REMAIN. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH [What a suggestion! Prince Emmanuel seems quite confused about the nature of Sir Marmite's relationship to Princess Candy!]
Ms Tushie Meshuganah	Mar 19, 2006 Thank you for your e-mail. Through Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank sophisticated e-mail tracking device we know exactly who you are and where your e-mail comes from. You will shortly be hearing from Colonel Edmund Diarra of the Private International Stop the Scammers security force. As a fellow African, I would sincerely advise you not to argue with him. Kindest regards, Tushie
Ms Tushie Meshuganah	To: The Earl of Gray Subject: PRIVATE INTERNATIONAL SCAMBUSTING SECURITY Force My Lord, Would you be kind enough to act as Patron of PISS [Private International Scambaiting Security] and perhaps Lady Agatha Bristol would act as Honorary Treasurer and Chief Slag ? With kindest regards, Ms Tushie Meshuganah Deputy Chief Executive Africa Division Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC Gallas House 69 Princes Street Edinburgh EH1 FU2 tel: 0131 225 9986
Tannin, Earl Grey	I would be honoured. Prince Emmanel seems dead keen on pursuing royal nuptials still.. the flame still burns... Tannin Grey Esq. Earl of Grey 99 Co-op House, Tet Leighs Brewin Smegaroon UK FU2 GU2 0909 563 4584
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" Sun, 19 Mar 2006 Sir, I have plotted my personal analysis and found out that u are the one causing the road block in this issue as such, i have given u a power of attorney to go-ahead and marry princess candy,ok. Iam a man of principles,note, i knew everthing about u and all that u do as well as all what is happening at ur end. Be Carefully & Be warned watch ur back,i'm practically not the kind of element u might think i'm,ok i knew all the eminent people who has the power in the world. Regards, Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Mar 20 Dear Prince Emmanuelle Many thanks for the email. It has taken some thought on my part before I could bring myself to reply. Your tone was, to be frank rather blunt, and at first I felt it best if I kept a dignified silence by way of gentlemanly response. However, after some long moments of soul searching and internal debate I have come to conclusion that some of what you say is true. Perhaps I have been a trife harsh on you. Perhaps in the fierce flush of familial protection, I have too often thought the worst of you. Allied to the fact that Candice still asks after you kindly, even though somewhat disillusioned, I think it fairer if we start over again. In short sir, when are you prepared to come over to England and meet us all? Your delays have given us understandable cause for concern, you must admit. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Tue, 21 Mar 2006 thanks for your mutal understanding, as u may know ,i'm a kind of man who don't hide feelings when u offend me, i will go straight to the point to let u know how i feel,ok. however,u should feel free i have forgiven u as nobody above mistake,ok. please let my wife know that i always love her and as a matter of fact, i have commence the cultivation and propagation as to put things in place for me and her,ok. U should understand that marraige is something that last forever therefore i have to take my noble time to avoid future mistake,ok. Tell my wife to contact me as soon as possible also talk to her in a meaningful way,ok. As u may know,promise is a dept,I can't promise and fail her,ok as u may , i have sisters that will also get married. Uncle, i want u to understand me as a man forget that i'm from Nigeria,ok. One day u will smile and know why God has to combine the two known element fire and water to create a powerful devotional tools,ok. Note, our noble relationship is not just an ordinary is being appointed by God,ok. Please extend my warm greetings to my beloved mother,(Princess Margret),she is only one who understand me most. With Kindest Personal Regards,I Remain. Prince Emmanuel Awuruh Note,i'm presently in Guinea Bissau.
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Mar 22 Dear Prince Emmaneulle Naturally we are delighted that we able to start over again. However it seems that we have been here before. I remember that, a while ago, this whole matter looked extremely promising only for you then to not follow through with promises, leading to heartbreak on behalf of my niece and the need to for you later to humbly apologies to her, myself, and even my tailor. Can you assure me that this time matters will smooth smoothly to a head? I do not want to be spread too thinly with all this constant blowing hot and cold. And Candice's affections cannot be tifled with over and over again without some damage to the child's self esteem. In short, sir, can you prove yourself beyond doubt as a reliable gentleman? I will have word with my niece and ask her to write to you again and once again assume the best, although hesitations remain. However please ensure that you do not disappoint her again. Perhaps you might even look to send her a small token of affection, something affectionate, a romantic trifle, a palpable bilett-doux even, to assure her of your good intentions? This would go a long way to re establishing trust. I know that another suitor, one frankly less preferred by Candice, a Prince Lautfart from Denmark, is making headway in her esteem though his continuing care and attention in this manner. Over to you sir. Princess Margaret says hi. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	To: Sir Marmite Luny-Binns Fri, 14 Apr 2006 My dearest Uncle, I have commence the cultivation and propagation to suprisingly come to UK, as to effectively cement the aforesaid noble relationship of ours with a hand bill. However I will not detail or retail my timings pace but just expect me soonest. Regards Prince Emmanuel
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince This is excellent news sir! Let us forge ahead with this meeting as soon as possible. I look forward to sorting you out properly when we meet at last. Kind regards
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Sat, 15 Apr 2006 "Marmite Luny-Binns" My Dearest Uncle, Thanks very much for your mutual understanding I can comprehend that you have abridged the road of this issue of ours as such, I assured you that this noble relationship will eventually beared a good fruit that all of us would ate and be satisfied,ok. You should of cource bear at the back of your mind that good thing does not comes easily in the circumstance , I have determined that this issue must beared good fruit therefore you have to scratch my back by puting things in place between me and my wife Princess Candy sincerely I have no other intention than to fulfilled the promise and that could only be done by you adding more value in this issue note that here is Africa things are not the way you might think at your end. All I want you to do for me is to let my wife to understand me very well as to know that this issue of marriage is something that last forever,ok,all I want from her is understanding of which you are in the position to smooothen that road . In combing my facts, I aimed at effectiveness. Thanks for your cooperation Please extend my greetings to my mother Princess Magaret and wishes you all the very best.
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Subject: RE:REQUEST FOR APPOLOGY Sat, 15 Apr 2006 My Dearest (Mother)Princess Margaret, First, Please kindly accept my appologies for the tardiness of my uncharacteristic steps of doings with which I felt guilty here-off. All I want from you is forgiveness and to put in place the relevant infrastructures that would enhance the effectiveness of this noble relationship of ours. Mum, the fact is that Uncle Marmite has not brightened the road of this issue with which I do believe that you are in the position to add value as well as address this issues with due respect. I understood that many things had have happened at your end but I assured you that you have nothing to loose hence I'm there . Thanking you for your mutual Understanding and Hoping to hear from you soonest. Yours Son Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
HRH Princess Margaret	24 Apr Dear Prince, After some delay I have decided to reply to your affecting words of supplication, and with some not little guilt on my part either. To be honest, it is I who have asked Sir Marmite and Candice to be deliberately tardy in their communications with you and they have been acting on my advice. For a while I have been doubtful as to your intentions in regards to these nuptials and whatnot. A conversation with the Archbishop of Smegaroon, Sir Bernard Manning only added to my concerns when he pointed out the incidence of immorality and turpitude in your society which may make a connection with the royal household problematical. However a long chat with Sir Marmite and with Candice this weekend has persuaded me that you have turned over a new leaf, and this apology from yourself has, happily, added to this impression. I am therefore happy give my blessing to this union moving forwards, provided that you can supply a firm date for arrival in the UK and sign a Royal Betrothal and Matrimonial Covenant Oath (a somewhat arcane formality, but one to which we remain attached) with the Commonwealth Commissioner of Oaths, Sir Michael Barrymore. This is a discreet matter, rest assured of that, but it needs to be done to secure our faith in this matter. In the meantime I will instruct Sir M. and my niece that they have my temporary blessing at least in continuing correspondence with you and your courtiers. I await your response with interest, Kind regards MARGARET
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	April 24 Dear Prince Emmanuelle I believe that HRH has made a reply to you today and that wheels are turning, now that Sir Michael Barrymore our legal chappie is involved. Candice is delighted that she is free to make her heart known to you again and I am sure she will be contacting you shortly. I will be pleased to therefore advise on accomodation and palace formalities once your arrival is confirmed from your end. I will instruct the Royal Travel Agent to make arrangements and confirm matters once you decide when you are able to make your progress here. Please advise on accompanying staff, any security requirements, special diet, innoculation demands, national dress laundrying & etc as needed. We have some people of our own at hand for the basics, naturally, but would not want to be spread too thinly during the stay. Best regards MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Scamorama Comments	[It was some time before Scamorama did the next update. Assurances were conveyed to Princess Margaret. HRH kindly replied:] How charming to hear from our American cousins, and your kind words are much appreciated. I have had my staff pay close attention to your web site and what not. They tell me it is excellent work. Do keep it up my dear. Please give my regards to your president. Very best wishes MARGARET
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 Dear Uncle Marmite, Thanks for your informative letter as a matter of fact, you should feel free to arrange things in order as for my side, I'm ever ready. This issue would have been cemented but you are the cause of delay I hope you must have understand me beter now the way (MUM)HM. does she is only one who knows how to handle a material like me. Now we are one family but you have to delete those information of me that you hung on the internet Iam not a scamer,ok. Iam awaiting to receive the relevant document from (Lawyer M.Barrymore) upon the signatory I will fix the date of my warm visitation preferaby to come with some board members of International Association of Educators for World Peace(IAEWP),www.cat.cc.md.us/~wthom142/chancellors.htm Please let my wife Princess Candy that I'm sorry for whatever have happened between us it happens for purpose I would hear from her soonest if accept my appology. Regards Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	27 April Dear Prince Emmanuelle Naturally I am delighted that things are moving forwards once again and I must apologise once more for the delays which have occurred. However without wishing to revisit old problems, it may be worth reminding you that your own hesitations have contributed to the slow state of affairs in this matter. Candice has a couple of times felt that your hearts wishes were not entirely in turn with her own and felt considerably disillusioned with this matter. I understand that at times she even felt her ongoing interest in night clubbing had suffered through the distraction of not knowing what to expect and if you were genuine. To be frank, she is of an age where fervent, girlish emotions still rule her head. This of course makes an early marriage agreement to a husband of required standing, where such things may put aside in the cause of raising family and other womanly duties, all the more imperative. You will know that, with HRH's agreement, things are now once again on the move. The next step will be for you to complete the paperwork due to be sent out by Sir Michaels office (I take the liberty of copying him in to this message, I know it is the Gooliepully Sheep Trials this week and this reminder will be timely) We look to concluding this element of the nuptials as soon as possible. Your keenest application to the required standards will be appreciated, with none of the native dilly dally we have had in the past either. I am surprised that you say that scurrilous rumours about you still circulate on the web. I will of course ask my staff to issue retractions where possible, as we surely want to see you treated with the respect you deserve. If you and your colleagues from the International Association of Educators for World Peace(IAEWP) are free to travel, perhaps we can arrange some sort of reception for you all towards the end of next month. We would be much obliged if you can issue our travel officer Hamish Macbeth with the detailed list of personnel, for security screening & etc at the soonest. His address is (ThaneofCawdor@xxxxxxx-xxxx.xxx. After all we would not want to make any more of a drama out of this. Candice has been away at hockey college for the last few weeks which may explain her silence in this matter, but she is due back shortly and I will ask her to make contact with you so that you two love birds may resume your canoodling, or what ever it is you young people do. Finally let me say that, with the presumed resolution of our misunderstandings in this matter, I look forward to meeting you and giving you the reception here you deserve. Let us grasp the arm of resolve lately offered, and march forward together into a keener future. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Sat, 04 Mar 2006 My dearest Princess, All i want u to have at the back of ur mind is that I love u and my word is my bond but fact is the way u people issue sound repugnant to the naturally justice . 1, My parent has been asking me for your phone number atleast to talk to u but ever since i have been requesting for that u always ignoring me,why?. 2. How would u feel when someone who claim to love u cannot even call or talk to u even for once?. Naturall, i do beleive really that u don't love me these bcos the manner of which u people handled this issue of ours. My parent want to see action from u as my wife to be, as matter of fact, there is no evidence to proof that u really love me. As u may know, ur uncle cannot mary u are a woman u have to use the power of woman in u this is a new world that people goes out to look for want they want. Therefore if u really love as u say, then proof it to me, note, i'm not happy the things are bening done i expected by now me and u suppose to be together and build our own family. On the valetine day, i expected a valetine card from u but i sees nothing, please advise me what is the sentimental in ur mind?. Please if u have found a man who will be ur husband over there, please let me know so that i can not keep on waiting in respective of my promise. Note, I'm presently in Republic of Guinea Bissua if u may want to call me on phone, i will give u phone upon ur response. How are about ur mum and dad, i hope they are ok?. My baby, i always love u Prince
Princess Candy	hey the prince has bin wrtng me lots k an here is wat he sed 1st time but i bin ignorin him!!!! lol !!!!! he dont mention clubbin tho :-((((((( HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Thu, 06 Apr 2006 My dearest Princess Candy, Word cannot say how much U meant to me but the fact remain that I'm naturally facing a hard time here in Africa. Please all I need from U is mutual understand,ok. Iam ur loving husband and nothing can ever change my love for u,ok. Note, ur Uncle is try to put assunder into this issue,ok, please advise me. Yours CARE Prince EMMANUEL
Princess Candy	hey den he wrote this a bit later k it was kool him bein so keen an stuf!!!! but i stil dnt reply k C XXX HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Sat, 15 Apr 2006 My Dearest Princess Candy, Well I don't have much to say than to let you know that I love you anytime any day,ok. Also I want you to understand that good thing does not comes so easy I have no other intention than to marry you and take good care of you as my Queen,ok. I know you must have felt disappointed but try to understand me the way I undertstand you too,ok, I 'm practically facing a hard time here in Africa. Note, all I hope is you my Princess, please don't think otherwise,ok, as I promised, it must be fulfilled,ok, I can never cheat on you ,ok, either do I have any other person except you,I could comprehend all what is going on at your end I knew that you must have felt downcasted but please try to understand that we are husband and wife and our love is forever,ok.Note, nothing stops the flowings of ocean therefore nothing can stop you having me,ok Do you think that rain cannot fall on its season?. Thanks for your understanding and wishes you and loved ones the very best. Yours Care Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Princess Candy	27 April hiya Prince hey wow its cool bein able 2 rite 2 u afta such a while!!! b4 Auntie Margaret sed not 2 cos u wer just mucking about an al but now i ges it is ok as she sez so :-) wat u bin up to then? i hv bin off at college 4 a bit, got some new mates an stuff an we al went clubbin. cool guyz an all!!! but hey don u get worry cos i am still liking u k!!! now u hv 2 rite me about wat u want 2 do an all. i stil love u corse but i am not sure if it wil work out wat u thnk then?? Uncle M sez hi btw C xxxxxxx HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
M. Montague Barrymore	Subject: ROYAL BETHROTHAL AND MATRIMONIAL MARRIAGE OATH /PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH Date: April 29, 2006 TO PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH WHEREAS I, Michael Montague Barrymore hold office of COMMONWEALTH COMMISSIONER OF OATHS non git, I now hold forth and enlarge in full determination of vas deferens said ROYAL BETHROTHAL AND MATRIMONIAL MARRIAGE OATH as per PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH 'MALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT' and HER ROYAL PRINCESS HIGHNESS LADY CANDICE ARABELLA LOVELACE WINDSOR 'FEMALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT' as stated this day of our Lord 29TH APRIL TWO THOUSAND AND SIX. 1. This BETHROTHAL AND MATRIMONIAL MARRIAGE OATH should be printed out BY THE INTENDED GROOM or MALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT, witnessed and signed for approval within TEN DAYS of issuance BY THIS OFFICE. 2. REFUSAL or LATENESS in appending your signed agreement to THIS OFFICE shall be held as NON COMPLIANCE, via all due pompodom regis, article 419-69 a 1934b (rev 1987) 3. COMPLETED OATH shall be scanned and returned as a 200 dpi attachment with IMAGE OF MALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT to satisfaction of MYSELF or authorised OATH NOTORARY 4. THIS OATH IS NON TRANSFERRABLE TO KITH OR KIN and such binding contract notes are incontinent in kind upon those who act in part or full as your matrimonial agents in this matter, local customs and vimtos dictates notwithstanding 5. FEMALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT will complete her own OATH to the satisfaction of this office in TEN DAYS and said OATHS will be taken as legal determinance of fey quims ad cheerios pacquet OR ALL PERTAINING STATUTES as per UNITED KINGDOM LAW ROYAL BETHROTHAL AND MATRIMONIAL MARRIAGE OATH I. The Authority In the Name of God, our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ, we, _____________________ and ______________________ , hereby, before these witnesses, are in fey vimtos agreed to set out in holy matrimony, as God intended in Genesis 2: 21-25, from this day forward until death in so far as PRINCE AWURUH of _____________ is deemed MALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT. Quad wankerit ed bollocks is. The Authority in and for this marriage shall be Almighty God as revealed in the Holy Bible, Authorized 1611 King James Version (�the Word of God�). His words shall be final Authority in every decision and/or dispute. II. The parties _______________________ is a man of sound mind and character, and of lawful age, attesting to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the preeminence of the Word of God. _______________________ is a woman of sound mind and character, and of lawful age, attesting to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the preeminence of the Word of God. III. The Benefits Both of the parties shall have the usual and customary duties of marriage including, but not limited to, the following: Mutual sexual congress It is specifically agreed that each party will endeavor to maintain high standards of hygiene and physical fitness so as to remain attractive one to the other. Mutual society Mutual rearing of children Mutual support, including, but not limited to: Financial: although the Husband shall be the person who works outside the home primarily so long as he is able. So long as the Husband is the party who is the primary provider of income into the home, the Wife shall be the person primarily responsible for childcare, housekeeping, cooking, and cleaning. It is agreed that until such time as the parties have accumulated enough wealth whereby the survivor of the parties could rely on such wealth for all his or her sustenance for a period of no less than 70 years, life insurance will be acquired and paid for to provide enough money for said term of sustenance. Moral: By example and by exhortation. IV. The Prohibitions The following activities or behaviors shall be considered violations of the marriage contract: Adultery: Adultery is defined as any sexual activity or conduct with any person or persons not a party to this agreement. Such agreement specifically rules out multiple wife arrangements, related initiation ceremonies and hut sharing. Abandonment: Abandonment shall be defined as either the filing in state court of any instrument seeking either legal separation or legal dissolution of the marriage, or desertion from the marital home for a period of no less than six months - whether support is paid by the deserting party or not. Abortion: Abortion shall be defined as the deliberate termination of the life of a child after fertilization by any means, or the use of abortifacient birth control chemicals, witchdoctor spells or devices. Assault against a party or child of this marriage: Assault is defined to be injurious or potentially injurious unwanted physical contact. A child of this marriage shall include any child of either party who is living with the parties and any adopted child. Criminal behavior: Criminal behavior shall be defined as one party�s willful and ongoing activities in violation of law such as would subject that party and/or the household to criminal sanctions and incarceration. Dangerous behavior: Dangerous behavior shall be defined as one party�s willful participation in behavior that has not been agreed upon by both parties that subjects the other party and/or the household to physical danger. This shall include, but not determine, tribal disputes notwithstanding, Ejection: Ejection shall be defined as one party�s ejection of the other party. Ejection is the removal of the other person from the marital home. Ejection need not be by force to be prohibited by this agreement. Ejection may be demonstrated by removal of the other party�s personal property from the marital home, the changing of the locks, or the mere demand by one party that the other party leave the marital home. Habitual drunkeness or drug intoxication: Habitual drunkeness or drug intoxication, whether criminal or not and whether the result of an illness or not is prohibited. Habitual drunkeness or drug intoxication shall be deemed to include a party�s being under the influence of alchohol, voodoo/ju-ju ritual or drugs to a noticeable or perceptable degree more often than ___ days per month. It is specifically agreed and understood that becoming physically or mentally ill is not prohibited conduct. The other party�s becoming physically or mentally ill is not, in itself, prohibited by this contract and cannot be the basis for seeking a remedy under this contract. It is specifically agreed and understood that becoming financially poor is not prohibited conduct. Native Acts and Customs: Native acts and customs, whether through latent or explicit appeal to witchdoctors, ju-ju dolls, wicker man adultery & etc, or other same such local actions are prohbited. in so far that they contradict the Christian terms of this contract, in reference to: fertility, extravagant sexual congress, pagan rituals or any kind with or without animal sacrifice. V. To Whom Appeal is Made The first appeal, when one party believes the other party has violated the prohibitions above, shall be in accordance with Matthew 18: 15-18, that is, the offended party shall take the matter to the accused party. If no resolution results from the first appeal, may demand physical separation from the accused party. See �The remedies� below. If no resolution results from the first appeal, the offended party shall take the matter to the accused party with two or three impartial witnesses. Members of either party�s family are not impartial, neither are friends of either or both parties. If no resolution results, the offended party shall call for a 1 Corinthians 6: 1-5 panel to judge the matter. Such a panel shall be conducted strictly in accordance with biblical guidelines in 1 Corinthians 6: 1-5. The panel shall consist of three bishops or deacons (�elders�) of the Christian church who are in conformity with 1 Timothy 3: 1-13. Each party shall choose one of two elders from the church at which the parties have been attending within the last year (or one from each church, if the parties attend different churches). A third elder shall be chosen by agreement between the other two. If the accused party refuses to select an elder, then the elder selected by the offended party shall select two other impartial elders for the panel. The proceedings of the panel shall be recorded to whatever extent possible. The standard of proof shall be preponderance of the evidence. If a party is found to be at fault, the panel shall render a decision in writing concerning separation or divorce, concerning financial support, and concerning physical custody of the children. All decisions of a 1 Corinthians 6 panel shall be binding upon the parties for permanent separation or divorce. The prevailing party shall file a civil action in state court to memorialize and publish the 1 Corinthians 6 panel�s decision. The non-prevailing party specifically agrees to allow the prevailing party to win a default judgment in the civil action in state court or to pay the prevailing party�s attorney fees incurred in the civil action in state court. VI. The Remedies Resolution and reconciliation: Resolution and reconciliation shall be defined as counsel from godly ministers, of sound mind and character and believers in the Word of God, in any attempt to resolve circumstances and issues related to any violation of the above prohibitions. Separation: Separation shall be defined as the leaving of or removal of one party at the demand of another party based upon allegation(s) of violation(s) of the contractual prohibitions above. Where physical separation is initiated, the accused party shall leave the domicile, especially where children are part of the household. Upon separation, all financial support customarily made by the accused party, shall continue. Physical custody of any children shall remain with the offended party. The separation demanded, unless otherwise agreed upon or ordered, shall last no longer than 90 days unless the allegation(s) are verified by preponderance of the evidence before either a 1 Corinthians 6 hearing or in a state court of law. Resolution and reconciliation may proceed by mutual agreement. Upon a showing that the allegation(s) of contractual prohibitions are true, either to a 1 Corinthians 6 panel or a state court, the separation will be deemed permanent, subject to future consideration, resolution, and reconciliation initiated by the prevailing party. In the event of permanent separation, all the usual and customary financial support for the household, including any children, provided by the non-prevailing party shall continue unabated. The prevailing party, may, under the laws of the state of residency, file with the state for a civil separation. The non-prevailing party shall not contest the civil separation, the support agreements herein, or the child custody agreements herein in state court. Divorce: Divorce shall be defined as the complete dissolution of this marriage contract and may only be sought by a party claiming and showing a violation of the contractual provisions against adultery, abandonment, or abortion. Initial separation shall follow the procedure above. Financial support shall follow the procedure describes in the separation section above. After trial to a 1 Corinthians 6 panel, the prevailing party may, if a state marriage license has been obtained, file for a civil dissolution in state court. VII. Witnesses and abuse of process If the 1 Corinthians 6: 1-5 panel determines by clear and convincing evidence that a party has been untruthful or has induced a witness to be untruthful in any proceeding before the panel, said party shall be deemed guilty of abandonment. If the panel deems that a party has repeatedly engaged the process without just cause, that party shall be deemed guilty of abandonment. For purposes of this paragraph, �repeatedly� shall be no fewer than three times. The undersigned party do hereby agree to the terms of this contract. ___________________________ _________________________ Husband MALE APPLICANT FOR CONSENT The undersigned do hereby witness the agreement of the party. ___________________________ _________________________ Witness Witness Subscribed before me this ____ day of __________ , 200__ . ISSUED THIS DAY 28TH APRIL TWO THOUSAND AND SIX in humble merkin troth by ME, MICHAEL MONTAGUE BARRYMORE, HER MAJESTIES COMMONWEALTH COMMISSIONER OF OATHS BARRYMORE Michael Barrymore AASA, DFC, Solicitor at Law 2645 Gooliepully Road Stringalonga, TOCUMWAL,NSW,2714 Phone: (02) 9298 3777 Fax: (02) 9298 3780
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Subject: ROYAL BETHROTHAL AND MATRIMONIAL MARRIAGE OATH Date: Tue, 2 May 2006 My Dearest (MUM)HM.Princess Margret, I have just received the esteemed favoured BETHROTHAL & MARRIAGE AOTH Document from Mr M. Barrymore and the contents therein noted with care. In compliance with,please I request for some few days to undersigned the aforesaid documemt these because the computer system and scanning machine here in our office in Guinea Bissau is very bad as to handle such document in the circumstance I have to search for a good machine to do the vital work therein. I hope Princess Candy has a copy of the said document. Mum,please I would like you to educate and feed me with more information and clarification in this regard as to avoid any mistake here-off. Furtheremore, update me as to know other requirements if needed be. I hence-forth expect your urgent response Faithfully Yours Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
HRH Princess Margaret	02 May Dear Prince Emmanuelle I will do my best to help you, of course. It is important you are given what you deserve. Which aspect of the document is causing you trouble? I don't know if it can be provided but perhaps we have an early reader version I can send? I imagine Mr Barrymore will also want a picture of yourself as bethrothal applicant, something dignified in ermine? Margaret Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Wed, 3 May 2006 "My Dearest Princess Margaret" Thanks for your warm response practically there is nothing that troubles me in this regard all I wanted is your directives in any form. I will do whatever that pleases you my Dearest (Mum). Any other way you can render me an assistance, please convey your reaction immediately. Yours Care. Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
HRH Princess Margaret	03 May My Dear Prince We await the return of the Betrothal document as a matter of urgency now as we really need to get on with this affair. I have taken the liberty of optioning an early date in August for the wedding ceremony in Westminster Cathedral, but nothing can come of these plans unless you stop dragging your feet in this matter. Kindly do us all a favour here at the Palace and hurry along now. MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Sun, 07 May 2006 Dearest (Mum)HM,Princess Margret, There is problem with www.37.com of with which I have been trying to view mail but to no avail please let me know if you have receive the document I sent yesterday update me of next step. Please help to make some corrections therein. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Prince Emmanuel Awuruh.
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	8 may Dear Prince Emanual Her Majesty has been absent for a few days as part of her annual duties officiating for the Smegaroon Chavster Cup but will no doubt respond to your message upon her return. How is the weather in your part of the world? It is raining here and the vimto crop has done badly. I imagine your own locale, with its tradition of mud bricks and straw outfits, would also suffer badly in such circumstances? MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Matrimonial Document Date: Sun, 07 May 2006 FOR THE ATTENTION OF UNCLE SIR MARMITE Sir, Please help to confirm if the document I sent to HM, has been received?. There is problem with www.37.com with which I have been trying to view mails but to no avail please kindly address mails with this email box. Please help to address this issue with the best of your ability. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Regards Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Our enthusiastic Prince sent his message to me three times. Such enthusiasm is quite charming. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Wed, 3 May 2006 "My Dearest Princess Margaret" Thanks for your warm response practically there is nothing that troubles me in this regard all I wanted is your directives in any form. I will do whatever that pleases you my Dearest (Mum). Any other way you can render me an assistance, please convey your reaction immediately. Yours Care. Prince Emmanuel Awuruh
HRH Princess Margaret	Dear Prince Emmanuelle I am not sure what you are doing. Please submit the Betrothal Oath as soon as possible, as a 300 dpi attachment: signed, witnessed as required. The requirements are simplicity itself I would have thought, even for one with the merest educational standards. Mr Barrymore and I grow impatient to see this stage in the nuptials concluded as soon as possible. Candice has a number of other suitors and your opportunity to make this excellent accomodation with Us is slipping by. I have approached the Archbishop of Smegaroon, Sir Marion Morrison, for a marriage licence and all is otherwise going ahead. MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Thanks Date: Mon, 08 May 2006 My dearest Uncle Sir Marmite, Thanks for your response I have been wondering as I have not hear from HM,as regard to the Matrimonial document in which I have signed as requested. However, How about my wife I hope she is ok, please I would like to hear from her soonest as to know her present condition. Please if there is any mistake in the said document, please do correct me tell her majesty to respond to me as soon as she is back I'm longing to hear from her as a matter of urgency. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Em., I have not perused your submission in detail. I would say that as long as it is returned completed and duly witnessed there should be no difficulty in it bringing the desired results. Incidentally, Princess Candice has asked me, ahem, to enquire on a little matter of a somewhat personal matter, one perhaps most easily broached between men of the world. Would this be acceptable? You know what these excitable young women are like, they do have their gossip and sewing room tittle-tattle to be satisfied. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Urgent Date: Tue, 09 May 2006 Dear Sir Marmite, Please try to be more specific, what type of personal matter do you require?, please update me soonest. Preferable to hear from Candy. Regards Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Come, come sir. I quite understand if you wish to draw a veil over any of your proclivities, but rest assured that any information will remain strictly between us as men of the world. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Wed, 10 May 2006 Dear Sir Marmite, I still don't comprehend the eyes of what you meant,please try to be specific and go straight to the point. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	12 may Dear Prince Emmanuelle This topic is, ahem, rather delicate, and revolves round your efficacy in creating a royal heir. Need I make it clearer? I do not wish to embarrass you sir. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	To: Princess Margaret Date: Tue, 9 May 2006 My Dearest Mum, Please find attach for your perusal action, please go through the document let me know some error to be corrected also let me know the type of picture that needed wether full picture or passport size?. Please mum, try to bear with me don't be angry. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Prince Emmanuel
HRH Princess Margaret	Oh dear our Prince seems to have trouble getting pen to paper. Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC [Prince E. pulled together a real inkjet production, all green text with a few fields filled in, a seal at the bottom, and the following letterhead:]
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Subject: Please (mum) don't be angry Date: Tue, 9 May 2006 My Dearest (MUM)Princess Margret, I have forwarded the said document as attachment for your persual action therein to help me make some correction if any. Please if you did not receive the said document, get back to me as soon as possible. I have written to Sir-Marmite severally to confirm if you have received the document he told me that you travelled that you will be back soonest. Please mum, don't be angry with me I have nothing esle in mind than to do whatever pleases you. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Prince Emmanuel
HRH Princess Margaret	12 may Dear Prince Emmanuelle I'm afraid Mr Barrymore called me last night to confirm that this document of yours just won't do at all. Where is the witnesses' signature, the accompanying photograph and all the other whatnots which are clearly required? Please, if you wish to take your bethrothal to our beloved Candice seriously, as you know we all do here, make more of a show to complete the formalities. This is not child's play my good man. Now pop off and do things properly there's a good Prince. MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
HRH Princess Margaret	16 may Dear Prince Emmanuelle What progress with the Oath of Bethrothal? We are keen to make headway and you seem to be less keen than before. We are very concerned. MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Ms Tushie Meshuganah	12 May 2006 Dear Prince Emmanuelle, Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret has asked me to send you some cash from our funds for deserving indigents because she believes you are embarrassed to tell her that you are short of funds before your forthcoming marriage to Princess Candice of Windsor. Would five thousand US dollars be of use ? Remain blessed, TUSHIE MESHUGANAH The Holy Bagel Community www.freewebs.com/tushiem/
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Thu, 18 May 2006 My Dearest Princess, I have signed the matrimonial document of ours being forwarded to HM,for further procession. Therefore I want you to always put me in prayer. I would be very happy to hear from you soonest aslo update of ur imput and output,ok. Your care Prince
Princess Candy	Prince i gess u don love me then like u said as it been so long and all :-((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Uncle M is rite bout you ur nothing but a smely liar who dont mean 2 do wat is rite. Well u can get lost then Mr!! Im not cryin anemore k and will fine anotha fella i dont care i bet u got small willy anehow and i mean it and dont even like clubbin. Candice HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor 221B Baker Street Royal Butlins Palace Kensington London FU2 GIT England
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	18 May 2006 "Marmite Luny-Binns" In order to accomplish this goal, you should urgently remove my personal data from internet with which you hung therein. The said information is causing a lot of problems for me as soon as this is done we can then swing into the viatl action. Note, United Nations community is already aware of the on-going issues of ours . Regards Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle I am not sure what you mean. I thought your troublesome and somewhat exaggerated entry on GayFriendsAfrica.com had been taken down already? MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	To: Sir Marmite Subject: Pls Quit from me,ok,also from Gay affairs Date: Sat, 20 May 2006 In view of fact and substance,thanks for letting me know what u are up to, that u are Gay, as such I suggest u quit from me,ok, hence it seem that that what u are. If that what u are looking from me, just have at the back of your mind that u have dig ur grave,ok. I have noted that u are not a responsible someone as such , u will reap what u have sown. Note, Iam a Nigeria, from a responsible traditional Royal family apart from traditional ordinance, we are fully engulfed with christainity ordinance,ok. Note, I have no business or any thing to do with homesexual if that what u are,ok. Iam a human right activist, I have Voluntarily Served UN-for some years now in the light of this, I have notified to the United Nations community about your activities toward the vineyard of humanity. It's better as u have let me know fully whom u are, hence all what u wish is to dent and destroy my reputation as such , u will face the consquences and your kingdom shall fall. I have never defrauded any body in my life either does anybody complained to you that i have defrauded him or her?, so why should my image be tarnished?. Have u ever or anybody from ur end sent any money to me for anything or whatever?. I sent a proposal to HM-Princess Margret, appealing for fund as to enhance the effectiveness of my organization which is dully registered by the Government of the Gambia therein you people turn me down, what should be the reason why my personal information should be hung on internet as a fraudstat?, whereby you have never sent anymoney to me thereafter noted that is a fraud?. Note, we all knows the law ,ok,if u people thinks u can use a first class citizen of Nigeria for granted, assuredly, u have dig ur grave,ok. I have all the record of everything u do and note that there is Nigerian Community in UK all aware of ur imput and output,ok. If there is any way in which I prince Emmanuel had have contravened the law of nature as such, I can face the panalty but hence I have never committed any offence with you people ever since we came to knew each other either do u have any cogent evidence to establish your motion therein, then act of human law have to be maitained with due respect. Note, Iam not a kind of man u might think I'm,ok, Iam not a Gay hence u are looking for such,ok, I suggest u quit from such before is too late for u,ok. Therefore ur communication should be coded,ok, Iam not a party to your mission,ok. As I have ascertained the kind of perosn u are,sincerely I can never do any thing with in my life. Try to repent from your sins,ok
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	20 May Dear Prince Emmanuelle I am afraid that I am at a loss to understand this peculiar and distracting outburst. What was in fact alluding to in my previously communication was nothing to do with own position (I am in fact vigorously attracted to the fairer sex, as my personal doctor, Dr Harold Shipman can testify). My, perhaps too delicately phrased, questioning of you was to establish two facts which need to confirmed before any marriage of this import can continue: 1. Are you, Prince Emmanuelle potent and healthy (do you have an authenticated sperm count for instance) 2. Have you, or are you, undertaking illicit liaisons with ladies of the night, second cousins and the like, the existence of which relations might be likely to cause Princess Candy any infections, secondary or otherwise? However Sir since you have been unable to answer these simple questions to our satisfaction, and indeed have seen fit not to complete the standard Oath of Bethrothal as per HRHs instructions, I shall sadly recommend that this affair is not taken any further. Candice is highly eligible, as you should know and we have one or two other suitors who willing to offer their hand in marriage. Where disreputable native lotharios play fast and loose with our family it is really quite too much, let along to stand being accused by yourself of homosexuality, a state of affairs which has never darkened our family record since the unfortunate Prince Cuthbert died a few years back in Algeria. Regards MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	As I intimated you before, you can go-ahead and marry princess candy. I have ascertained that you are not a responsible mansociety of the world view today either do you have any cultivated farm of life?. Iam a health sound young man of 20�s if u needed to confirmed my medical document thenuch request should be made in simple respectable way your manner of approach is repulgnant to the naturally justice as you are no doubt aware there is alot of fishes in the sea in my country Nigeria , a lot of healthy and waelthy princess longing to have people like me,ok, in either side , what is the educational background of Princess Candy?. I have been to your country severally o I knew much more about you if you are looking for material to use, sorry Iam practically not the type of man you might think I�m if you try any thing stupid around me, you will regret why God create you on this earth. Please stop disturbing my life,ok, Iam a Nigeria from a responsible home,ok, you can�t use egg to break a rock. Iam giving you a limb time to remove all my information that you hung on the internet, if u don�t remove them, you watch out and see who is who in this world. I will be attend the world submit held in New york thereafter I will come down to UK with my delegates. I wish you and your wife Candy the very best marriage. As u are no doubt aware, the former president of USA-Bill Willaims Clinton is my God father of which the daughtter is my close friend, as such, we can as well cement the relationship to bear its juice.
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Once again I am at a loss to understand your attitude. If you are unable to maintain sexual congress with women, either for physical or psychological reasons, then it is reasonable that we discover this before any nuptials. My enquiry was in fact based on compiled news reports from your part of the world where, one learns, sexual infection is rife and the incidence of underage relations is frequent, especially between relatives from the same tribe. I may also add that statistics from the commonwealth medical office paint an alarming figure of physical decreptitude in the young males investigated, instances of potency inhibition most keenly shown in an undue shrivelling of the member - symptoms undoubtedly caused by strong drink and ritual self abuse. Incidentally I do not know why you suggest I should marry Princess Candice, as we are too closely related and the age difference between us would rule out anything more than official connection. In regards to Princess Candice's educational record, I need say no more than she has attended Peter Stringfellow's College, one of the most highly sought after centres of female academia in the country. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	June 21 My Dearest Uncle Marmite, How are you and your family�s health generally?,I have been trying to reach you on your telephone number-(+44) (0)20 7930 4832 but to no avail.Please I want to know the present situation of my wife Princess Candy?, I have written to her severally but no response, what is going on over?. Iam presently in Kuwait on 5-days Arab youth conference held in safat -Kuwait city I will be going back to Africa next week then I will arrange to finally come to UK for my wife marriage ceremony. Please update me to know her present situation my heart is rottenly tottered because of her I cannot sleep or eat sincerely I don�t know what is going on please address this issue with utmost confort,ok. Regards Prince Emmanuel Awuruh National Chancellor International Association of Educators for World Peace. [SPECIAL OPS INTEL: Note new email provider, title and "charity"...]
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmanuelle I am surprised at hearing from you again so shortly after the tones by which you previously addressed me. Here I was, merely trying to ascertain your fitness as a husband, and with some initial delicacy in the matter I may add, when you erupted creating quite an unbecoming account of yourself. Your surliness did your romantic suit no favours at all, I can assure you of that. In so far as progress towards any nuptials are concerned then I believe we still await your satisfactory return of the Bethrothal Oath as a next, vital, main step. When can this be expected? I know that our man Barrymore was less than impressed by your original documentation, so much so indeed that it called your seriousness into doubt. Then there is the question of you disappearing in and out of our collective view, as you light out of things like rabbit in a run. Kindly attend to the awaited formality as a matter of urgency and we will see what can be done once again. You should also be aware sir, that Princess Candice is now, on my encouragement, entertaining the affections of other suitors, several of whom are considerably more fervent and reliable than yourself. We remain sir, MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Prince Emmanuelle As I have patiently explained sir, we still await satisgfactory reply of your Oath of Bethrothal. You can hardly blame Candice for her increasing dillusionment in such circumstances. If you were a sincerely doting suitor for her fair hand then such formalities would be instantly attended to. Instead we get a stream of excuses and delays, interspersed with such moaning and whining about your lack of progress in the matter of romance which hardly becoming a man of your stature. I suggest that you: a. return the requested oath, correctly presented, as already requested by myself and Mr Barrymore b. make further apology, without delay, for your manner and lackadaisical attitude towards the intended nuptials to Hrh Princess Maragret and your intended bride. c. Adopt a more urgent, convincing and keenly anticipatory tone towards the business in hand. You are not landing some native floozy here, but an heir to the throne sir. In the meantime, until we are fully satisfied that you have attended to your considerably shortfalls in every department, I will tell Candice that our preference for a suitor lies elsewhere, specifically the very encouraging attentions now being made by Prince Lautfart. I must admit she has developed something of a weakness for your own claims but I must be cruel to be kind. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Your hand work (Mr:Marmite Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 Dear Mr. I have now came to understand your determination just to tarnish my image just because I�m a Nigeria, as such, just note that nobody joke with a lion and go free therefore , you have started unfinished batle. 1.forum.419eater.com :: View topic - The Mugu Marriage of Prince AwuruhThe Mugu Marriage of Prince Awuruh � View next topic ... If there is any way in which I prince Emmanuel had have contravened the law of nature as such, ... forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=641777 - 73k - Cached 2.forum.419eater.com :: View topic - The Mugu Marriage of Prince AwuruhThe story so far : Prince Emmanuel Awuruh, head of a "Non-Governmental ... Prince Emmanuel Awuruh NB, I KNEW THAT YOU HANGS ALL MY INFORMATION ON THE ... forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=78311 - 107k - Cached - Similar pages [ More results from forum.419eater.com ] 3.Scam o RamaPrince Emmanuel Awuruh - head of a Non-Governmental Organization ... IN SO FAR AS PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH, PRESIDENT/CEO--UNICON has entered into a ... www.scamorama.com/agathon-ngo.html - 258k - Cached S, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PROCEED WITH SUCH RELATIONSHIP?.
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Emmaneulle I really must apologise. It seems that our kindly Mr Tossov, still inwardly upset at your refusal to take advantage of his offer of a new suit and pants in line with your anticipated visit, has taken it upon himself to slander you so on several sites. Incidentally, have you seen your entry I AM GAY LOVE KING OF AFRICA on Africanfriendfinder.com? Is that really your picture? I will have words with the fellow, rest assured and see what can be done. The last thing we want is for people to get the wrong idea about you. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Thinking of U Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2006 My dearest Baby Princess Candy, How ar u?, I write to air to your attention that my heart is being troubled bcos of u. I knew I had have offended u severally, please can u forgive me? Looking forward to hearing from u soonest. Prince Emmanuel
Princess Candy	24 Aug 2006 Hiya Prince I no u dnt luv me anemore :-(((((((( I still go clubin but its not the same now u broke my heart k. CX Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor 69 Westminster Mansions Broadmooor Doss Parade Kensington London UR1 TIT
update: jan 27 2007 [Prince E. is starting to look like a group of Lads killing time.]
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: Thinking of U Date: Wed, 26 Aug 2006 My Dearest Princess Candy, Iam very sorry for whatever happened,ok, sincerely I don�t know the cause. However, i�m back to Africa and i have resigned from the UN- Voluntary programme with which I signed for. Purpose of this resignation is to enable me fully focus all my attention on you as to kick the ball rolling as being expected to. Meanwhile, I wish to know if u have forgiven me whole heartedly?. Iam now ready any time any day to come over to UK- upon the approval of your parent,ok. Please send me ur current pictures upon ur reply,ok. Let me know when u normally be online so that we can chat,ok. Please kindly extend my greetings to ur mum,ie, our beloved (mum)Princess Margret) Yours Care Prince Emmanuel
Princess Candy	Hey Prince Em wat!!! u mean u stil wan 2 cum to the UK an that????? Dat wuld be soo weird!! Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Wed, 28 Aug 2006 My Dearest Princess, What do u think?, do u want me to come to uk? or can u come to meet me in Nigeria? PLease let me know what u have in mind,ok, whatever u want me to do, is what I must do for u,ok. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Yours care Prince Emmanuel
Princess Candy	Dear Prince Em i dont no wat 2 say k i am very confused. do u relly relly stil like me then? Also wat will Uncle M say wen he nos as he thinks ur a crook k and i almost going 2 b married to Prince Lautfart of Belgium. i met him last week an he is kinda cute i gess! i am not sure if i can cum to ur place anehow as i dont thnk am not old enuff to do that k. :-( C x
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Wed, 28 Aug 2006 Subject: I Love U My Dearest Princess Candy Date: Fri, 01 Sep 2006 My Dearest Princess Candy, Please don't be confused ,ok, I�m here for u, all I want u to know is that I really love u with whole heart, ever since we came to know each other I have took my ample time to studied more about u and I have now came into conclussion that I must wear u the garment of love that u deserve,ok. Note, marriage is not a friendship that someone would just jump into without knowing who is who this the reason why most marriage don�t last long bcos of lack of understanding between the two parties I hope u must have understand me better by now?, this is really reason I took my time to be sure of whom I have to entrust my love to. Whatever had have happened between us should be forgotten,ok, I have came to know that we are really meant for each other so, don�t be confuse or downcasted anymore,ok. However, Uncle Marmite and our (Mum) Princess Margret has no problem they understand me very well and they are ready to put things in good places for us therefore every thing is in our hands whatver u wanted now, must be done . You should let me know the sentiment in your heart as we have reached to the last step, shall we go -ahead or not?. Upon your urgent response, I will contact Uncle Marmite and Mum for further arrangement in our favor in the proposition send the relevant Marriaege document alongwith other document that being required for me to send as to put in place the relevant infrastructures that would enhance the effectiveness of this issue. Looking Forward to Hearing from You Soonest. Yours Care Prince Emmanuel
Princess Candy	Hiya Prince Em k then u best rite to them again & c what dey say k? I cant relly keep chatin 2 u even tho havin a secret is cool. also i may be getting married to Prince Lautfart soon k!!!! i no he will be vv crazy if he nos i am chatting 2 u as he thinks he is the 1 for me and we have had chats on dat stuff an the like k?? u rite and we shall c. I went clubbin last nite an was out to 2 am!!!! kool eh C xx
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Tue, 05 Sep 2006 Dear Princess, I wish u the best of happy marriage union with Prince Lautfart. Bye Prince
Princess Candy	Hey Prince dont get sore k he is takin care of me like u neva did k??? also he relly likes clubin. hey do u wan cum 2 de weddin it is Westminster Abbey in December i have asked Uncle M and he sey yes u can stay wiv us an everything, but u have to hav a clean suit? also there may be clubin afta. C xx
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 [A mysteriously empty e-mail] [hey kool he still loves me lol but not so keen on clubbin : -( ]
Prince Emmanuel prince_iaewp@37.com	Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 From: "NonGovernmental Organization" <prince_iaewp@37.com> My Darling, Hav u received my responsive mail? I wonder what is going on at ur end? i hope all is well with u? note, ur problem is my problem we have to share it together so stop hiding ur feelings from me. Would u like me to visit u in UK or would u come down to Visit me?, Baby i knew that i have hurt u b4, but never again again i promise, do u accept my appology?. Note, my love 4 u is forever Looking to hear from u soonest Prince
Princess Candy	Hey prince yes i was bit upset when u just went of and did not say anythin bout what was the matter. i had feelin that u dont love me ane more!!! so wat happen then y did u go cold, it was v upsettin. :- (( if u want to cum & visit me kool and i expekt i culd put u up at the palace but i am not sure i want 2 now! my uncle Marmite may not want u round much as he will think u r afta my cash lol also if u don like clubbin wat will we do wen we get togetha then??? HRH Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor
update: dec 2006 [Nothing for a long time, and then...]
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Subject: You've received an e-greeting from outgun.com - prince_tradition@outgun.com Date: Sun, 31 Dec 2006 Dear Princess Candy, A greeting card from prince_tradition@outgun.com is waiting for you at http://mymail.outgun.com/scripts/card/showcard.cgi?code=275a200612ec24d986ab2d1f1d2c658de5b9072033 Please click on the above link to retrieve your card. [hey kool the prince stil luvs me i wonda if he wil want 2 go clubin in the n y then? hey i hav just loked at my email stuf k and the prince haz sent me abot 6 gretings mesages ova xmas kool lol mayb i shuld write him k ]
update: august 15 2007 [2007 has been peppered with a bizarre volley of e-mails interrupted by long periods of silence:]
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	13 Jan 2007 Dear Sirmarmite, Happy New Year and how about your family�s health generally?. Regards Prince
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Date: January 14, 2007 Dear Prince Emmanuele All of here at the Court are fine I can assure you after a long and hearty Christmas followed by athe end of year grouse shoot at Windsor. However Princess Candice remains unwed due to a singular train of events which I shall not trouble you with here. Kind regards Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC Regis Court Chamberlain The Court of St James Broadmoor London FU2 GIT (+44) (0)20 7930 4832 http://www.freewebs.com/sirmarmite/index.htm
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	16 Jan 2007 Dear Uncle , Thanks for your warm response,whatever had have happened we are still one family. I appreciate your good work sequel to the mush protection you are offering Princess Candy to avoid being impured I have pondered deep into the eyes of your services and come to the conclussion to note that your work is --XYZ. Meanwhile I will be coming down to UK-soonest to finish up my Law course with Oxford University I will not give you a specific time or date-I will appear in your noble office upon my presence in UK. How about my Dearest (MUM)Princess Margaret?, I hope she is ok,?,please extend greeting to her. Best Regards Prince Emmanuel
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Tue, 16 Jan 2007 Received: from [196.22.14.14] <-- Eguitel.com, Bissau, Guinea-Bissau Dearest Princess, Happy New Year Feel free I will be in UK soonest. Happy about our (mum)?--Princess Margret Remain Blessed Prince Emmanuel
Princess Candy	hi Prince Hey kool 2 here frm u k? Ye Auntie M is k, she is chattin to lots of peple an is at work now i gess. we had kool xmas i got a bike yeh an lots of ovva stuff. my bros darren & wayne were k 2 4 once so no probs!!! also, we wen out lots an had lots fun. wat u do then? hey relly comin ova then, cos then we culd go clubbin k? :-) CANDY x Princess Candice Mercedes Windsor 69 Westminster Mansions Broadmooor Doss Parade Kensington London UR1 TIT
Princess Candy	hey prince y u kep sendin me these greting cards then i thoght u wernt chatin no mor??? i had gret xmas ye, i went clubin a lot CANDY xx
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Sun, 21 Jan 2007 Dear Princess, I have been expecting ur response as to know ur present condition. Yours Care Prince
Princess Candy	hi prince wat u mean present condition then?? u think i am havin babes or somethin LOL i am kool k, jus a bit bord no that hols are done. i bin clubbin latele. hey u stil like me then? here is my lastest pic 4 u. C xx [omigod i am so not posting that girl's pic wat u think i am a perv or something? [hi kool k i jus got it ofline cos it loked like me k but she wasnt clubin in it :-( ]
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2007 X-Originating-IP: 213.154.89.30 <-- Sonatel, Dakar, Senegal Ok,
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Awankruh I am a little surprised to hear from you after such delays and vicissitudes which has left us here feeling a little jaded in your company. However, a new year, a new leaf, as they say and I am prepared to be charitable in the matter of your suit towards my niece, especially as she remains obstinately unengaged at a dangerously precocious age. Naturally the fact that you have gained a place at Oxford has greatly enhanced your standing in our eyes. I myself are an old ex scholar of stately Wormwood Scrubs College. Do drop in and pay me a visit when you reach our shores and you get the welcome coming to you. I have passed on your greeting to HRH and she says hello. MARMITE
Princess Candy	27 Jan hi Prince Ems I onle got this mesage wat u playin at lol?
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	10 Aug 2007 DEAR UNCLE MARMITE I HAVE SENT SEVERAL MAILS AND THERE IS NO RESPONSE WHAT IS GOING ON?,IAM READY WITH THE SIGNED MARRIAGE DOCUMENT ALONGWITH MY UP TO DATE MEDICAL REPORT. PLEASE ADVISE WHAT NEXT BEFORE I SEND IT AS BEING REQUIRED? AWAITS TYOUR URGENT REPLY PRINCE [Nooo -- it can't be -- it is! There must be a whole raft of these guys joining together to keep the legend of "Prince Emmanuel" alive. I can picture them sitting around in the cafe laughing. [I was amazed myself when I checked back in after such absence to see him still trying...]
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	10 Aug Dear Prince Awankar I must apologise for the delay in response, my entourage and myself have been away in Smegaroon for the hunting season and I was unable to access my day to day email messages. To be honest, a few blasts at our feathered friends does make up for the continual cares of high office. We are flattered that your interest in Princess Candice is so sustained and apparently genuine. Please send on your documents. The final decision, especially in respect to matrimonials at this level must, must of course, rest with HRH Princess Margaret. Have you contacted her office direct? I imagine too that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Harold Shipman will also need to become involved should matters be taken a stage further. In so far as travel to the UK is concerned, are your visa qualifications all in perfect order? We would not want any unseemly scenes at the airport. We had a dreadful fellow from your neck of the woods deported only last week after promoting a false environmental organisation with charitable aspirations, I seem to recall. Kind regards Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	14 Aug 2007 Dear Uncle Marmite, Thanks for your concern, iam very happy that my wife is completing her education over there and that is exactly what I expected to as you are no doubt aware education matters alot as to secure the future of this irrevocable relationship of ours. Thanks once again and to this end, I wait to hear the good news from HM.Princess Margaret and My wife Prince Candy. Regards PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	15 Aug Prince Awankeruh I have managed to catch a few words with HRH this morning over the daily muffin service and she informs me that she has yet to receive any communication from yourself? Please ensure that you approach her directly as you have suggested, and in short order, or I am sure she will view your suit with less enthusiasm than she normally retains for our colonial cousins who wish to improve themselves. I would suggest you also send her a recent photograph, perhaps one of yourself in the dress of a loving bridegroom, to reassure us that you will look the part when it comes the ceremony in the Abbey (assuming that matters do get to that pass). Her Majesty further directed me to pass on her good wishes to yourself and your village elders. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
update: september 2007 [Prince Emmanuel is not giving up!]
Mikhail Stroganov	WELCOME BACK SIR MARMITE_FRANKLY I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT PRINCE AWANKER IS STILL GOING BUT THERE YOU ARE_IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT AMONGST ALL THE DUNG THERE IS THE OCCASIONAL GEM - SPECIAL AGENT MIKHAIL STROGANOV SPECIAL OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT_MOSCOW OFFICE
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	September 10, 2007 Dear Prince Awankeruh Just wanted to let you know that we have decided to move forward with Princess Candice's bethrothal to Prince Caspian of Smegaroon, since we have heard no more from you for some weeks. As I sure you will appreciate it is growing urgent now that the Princess has her future completely assured. Prince Caspian is a fine figure of man who, dare I say it, has a splendid sartorial presence and furthermore excellent manners. I do hope you will be sucessful in finding the bride you deserve from one of the trading barques which I understand ply your coastline, or failing that, wherever it is you will look. Kind regards Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC Regis Court Chamberlain The Court of St James Broadmoor London FU2 GIT (+44) (0)20 7930 4832 http://www.freewebs.com/sirmarmite/index.htm
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	11 Sep 2007 Dear Marmite, Princess Margaret sent me a letter last week of which I have replied in accordance with herein awaiting for her response as to kick the ball. However everthing depend on you people as for me, am ever ready. I have been calling the phone number you gave to me also the number Princess Margaret gave to me but no avail all the calls enters to answering machine, please advise. PRICE EMMANUEL AWURUH
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	13 Sept Dear Prince Awankeruh We can find no record of this recent correspondence you claim. Can you resend to HRH as soon as possible, while there still remains times to restructure your nuptials. Also, do you have a recent medical report? If you are to be considered a potential bridgegroom we need assurance and proof that you are whole and pure. I believe you gave such assurances a while ago but this is now needing an update. MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	14 Sep 2007 Dear Uncle Marmite, As soon as I received the required documents with which I requested from HM.Princess Margaret which serves as a proof of our mutual committment which enables me to swing into the vital action, I will urgently furnish you people with the updated medical report and the officially signed marriage document between I and Princess Candy as being required to. PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Awankeruh This is good news, We will expect to see your fresh documentation very shortly. Perhaps a recent manly image of yourself, stripped to the waist in a tiger skin or something appropriate will reignite the interests of Candice who, to be frank, has become less enamoured of you through all this delay.
Prince Emmanuel And then suddenly...	To: "Marmite Luny-Binns" Subject: Plase back off from this your games ,ok Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2007 Dear mr.man, You should be very careful the way you talk to me, I have taken the liberty to send my spiers to watch over you there in UK focus on your underluted act to humanity investigation has been carryout as to know the basic truth about this issue as you people are there to tarnish the image of Nigerians claiming that you are pure but at the end, you people are the cause of the world problems today. I have filed all the report of all what you have been publishing on internet just to tarnish the image of innocent person you should be very careful about all this your tricks as there is no cogent evident to proof of existence of so called princess candy winsor. You are just there try to use egg to break a rock.If so called princess candy exist, why not ever since proof her existence?. Do u think African people are still a fool? that you can joke with anybody you sees?, note, I know your house, everything about you, so be warned. If i sees any govul information about me on internet hence forth, you will regret why you know. Now you want more of my pictures so that you publish them as usual?,note all your trick has been confirmed. Iam a law student with a correspondence course with Oxford University in UK? i have made a potential enquiry about you and your games,assuredly, you will regret this soonest as may know, a child who does not want his or her mother to sleep, such a child will also remain to be a night security. Be warned do not joke with a citizen of Nigeria,those my picture you hung on the internet, assured you have just hang your life. P.
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	16 Sept Dear Prince Awaneruh We are confused and alarmed at this sudden outburst. My advisers have now suggested to Us that you are something they term a 'mugu fraudster' some sort of inept conman from the former colonies. After all these months can we assume that you have been less than honest with Us? Toying with the affections of a young princess of the realm? Princess Candy is as real as you or I, rest assured of that, and this sort of self serving, somewhat illiterate protestation, does nothing to forward your case. Given your tone and manner I think it better if I advise my niece to take her affections elsewhere. Clearly we have misjudged you. MARMITE
Prince Emmanuel Oddly enough he also wrote to HRH - in completely different tones!	Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 Subject: Glad to hear from you Again My Dearest Princess Margaret, Naturally there is no doubt about if am the rightful suitor for Princess Candy I have plotted my personal analysis generally about the whole fact and came into a conclussion that the promise being made must be fullfilled in the propostion hereby required your warm assistance in providing me an impetus that would enhance the effective of this issue. You expected to send me an official letter of invitation and a covering letter from your noble office as to enable me prepare the readiness of my visitation to your noble office in UK. I must point out the need for you to develope the spirit of this issue not only for the marriage aspect but to secure the future of this irrevocable relationship of ours. Upon the receipt of your warm response, i will furnish you with the required documentation as being required and thanks once again for your consideration and cooperation as to put this project to bed. In combing my fact, I aimed at effectiveness. Faithfully Yours PRINCE EMMANUEL AWURUH [This e-mail was a bit hard to read because it was underlain by a graphic of repeated red roses.]
Princess Margaret	My Dear Prince I was about to answer this message of yours when Sir Marmite came tearing into the stateroom here waving your latest, highly peculiar message to him. After reading it, I fear your apparent mental instability means that the likelihood of your proving suitable marriage material for Candice is unlikely. After all, we have only just got over all that trouble with the Duke of Clarence of some years back. Kind regards MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco
Prince Emmanuel prince_tradition@outgun.com	Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 You can go-ahead to give your unexisted princesss to whomever or mugu you wish to. There is no evidence to proof that princess candy exist and you know the truth, so stop playing a game on me, i noted all the publishment you made with my info on internet because of that, there is noway I can ever beleive you anymore until a cogent evident of her is being made and established.
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns	Dear Prince Awankurh Your rudeness merely displays a most ungentlemanly temper because of the failure of your marriage suit. Do not trouble our Court again, as we surely prefer dealing with honest men - not some sweaty Third World pretender to Our good graces, and one undoubtedly typing away in some fly blown knocking shop. For your information Princess Candice agrees entirely with this judgement. Further more, after looking at your photograph from some months ago more closely, our medical chappies have noticed your congenital deficiency, no doubt caused by intermarriage or village interbreeding, which would have ruled you out in any case.

More to come? (Now in its fifth year) Did he ever believe any of this?

U STILL LOVE ME OR NOT?

update: jan 27 2007

update: dec 2006

update: august 15 2007

update: september 2007