|
| October 18 |
Williams George
williamsgeorge911@msn.com |
Attn: The Dir/Ceo
Greetings"
Firstly, i must first apologize for this unsolicited mail to you. I am aware that this is certainly an unconventional approach to starting a relationship,Pardon me for the mode that I have chosen to contact you via your company's inquiry, inappropriate maybe,but prompted by utmost need and urgency.Be informed that this is a sensitive proposition for assistance that must be kept between the two of us in confidence. Express your acceptance of this term when you respond Hence I have decided to seek your cooperation,due to the sensitivity of this transaction and my commitment as a civil servant.
I am Barrister Williams George, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Late Dr Abu Hebru ( Nasim Saleh), a foreigner, Geologist by profession and he died since 1999. In an air crash along with his wife Mrs. Zainab Hebru on 31st October 1999 in an Egyptian airline 990 with other passengers on board. Since then I have made several inquiries to locate any of my clients extended Relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you,I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they Get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged, with Standard Trust Bank Plc. Where the deceased had an account Valued at(US$12.7Million)which the board of directors of the bank has Issued me a notice to provide the next of kin within the time frame of two weeks or have the account confiscated within the next sixteen official working days.
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over Five (5) years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased so that the total valued can be paid to your account which will be shared to 50% for me and 40% to you also 10% for the Charity Homes and the less privileged people in the society, However i will revalidate and notarize all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we will make.
All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through.I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you. from any breach of the law.
Your urgent respond on this proposal will be highly
appreciated,
All The Best
Barr Williams George
Attorney At Law
N/B PLEASE REPLY ME HERE(
barr_geo_williams@yahoo.com
]
|
| Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE |
Dear Sir,
What on earth is this?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Williams George |
Dear Agatha Bistol,
Thanks for your prompt response. l believe that you
can handle this deal very well as we look forward to
transferring this huge amount into your nominated
bank account within the next two weeks. Sir, what
area of business do you specialize on? Do you have
any knowledge about real estate development? I am
planning to be in partnership with you after this
transaction.
Dear Agatha Bistol isten, now l calls you my friend
and l will not like you To betray me after these
funds are paid to your account. As l told you
earlier that l am in position of all the necessary
documents regarding this funds. By Tomorrow l will
go to the offices were those documents were obtained
to change and make them in your name. But before I
have to do that you must promise me that you are not
going to sit on this fund, after it has been
transferred into your nominated bank account.
My good friend, What I need from you is your honest
co-operation to enable us see this deal through And,
with this we can proceed now by putting heads
together to the smooth and successful transfer of
this fund into your nominated bank account pending
on my arrival to your country for the shearing.
After this I will send you a writing application
that you will rewrite and sign and scan and send
back to me so that I will forward it to the bank to
present you as the next of kin to the decease.
All I need from you is as follows:
1). Your full names
2). Your contact address
3). Your personal Telephone and Fax numbers
4). Your occupation and age
Immediately I have this information from you, I will
furnish you with more information regarding this
fund. Please your urgent response is highly
imperative
Best regards
Barrister.Williams George
|
| Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE |
Dear Mr George,
Firstly you will address me as Lady Agatha. And for
goodness' sake, do not refer to me as Sir!
I shall give you some more information as soon as we
receive some documentary evidence of the fund.
Yours sincerely
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
|
Williams George
<barr_geo_william@ny.com>
|
Dear Agatha Bristol,
Very much thanks for your swift reply toward this
matter,However i do agree with you over the
decission, but same time i have to work accordingly
for the protection of both parties that are
involved.
Meanwhile, the required documents will be properly
secured in your favour and that will be done
properly as soon as i have the information requested
from you,that will presurized me to further this
project with you.For now, i have the certiticate of
deposit and further documents regards to this effect
will also issued in your favour as the next of
kinship to the deceased.
Attached here is deposit certificate as i told
you,other neccesary vital documents will be obtain
in your favour which i will also send you the
copies,but for now we need to work together and
actualise this particular objective,therefore kindly
forward to me your full name/address for further
step.
Thanks and have a nice day.
Barr William George
Summercamp Advocates
Monrovia-Liberia
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Please refer to me as Lady Agatha.
Thank you for your note, and for your little
certificate. It was charming.
We shall consider it carefully.
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| October 22 |
Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
|
Dear Lady Agatha,
Good morning and how are you today?I got your
message and you should be aware that there is every
need for us to fasting the transaction on due
cause,the application for the next of kinship is
highly required that why you have to urgently
commence and let me have the full information as
demanded.
Thanks and have a nice weekend
Barr George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Whilst we appreciate the certificate, we are still a
little unsure over these modalities. It all just seems
a little strange, what with some native Johnny
contacting us out of the blue.
We need more reassurance over this proposed
transaction.
Do you have any thoughts on this matter?
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
|
Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
|
Hello Lady Agatha,
Nice to hear from you.
Anyway, my own thoughts about the whole relationship
with regard to the transaction are quite obvious.
That the reality of this transaction is certainly
not in doubt, but the only thing you can say about
it is the uniqueness of it, being that it is not the
normal daily business issue, which mean to say that
the nature of it is highly privileged. Therefore, i
advise that you don't have to be worry of anything
hence this transaction is concerned. For everything
regarding this transaction will be properly and
professionaly handled.
Revert back ASAP.
Thanks and God bless
Barr George
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Mr. George,
Thank you for your note.
Are you suggesting that these modalities are legal and
100% risk-free?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
I trust you are well.
Crumbley, we are at the very beginning of modalities
with the charming Barrister George, as you can see
below. He has sent through a little certificate, which
was most endearing.
The Special Operations Department may call on your
assistance, if we may. I have noted that Mr Noogie is
extremely busy at the moment with the brilliant
operation against the Dictatives, but if you can
assist us, that would be simply divine, and very much
appreciated.
Yours sincerely,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| October 23 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I'm on hot stand-by.
|
| Lady Agatha |
Excellent, old boy. Thank you. Let us hope that the
good Barrister responds soon.
As ever,
A
|
| November 4 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha Bristol AND Co,
Find attached here copy of the legal documents
that
demanded by the bank to effect the release of the
total sum to you as the new applied next of kin.As
you can see on this documents, all was carefully
secured in your favour and your co worker,please
pass the information to him as soon as possible
while i will keep you update as soon as the bank
grant the application.
Thanks And Remain Bless.
Barr George Wiliam
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your charming certificates.
Crumbley, please look at these once you have
finished
breaking in Mimi.
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I'm afraid I have been unable to view the
attachments. Perhaps we could ask Mr. George to send
them directlys to me. Upon receipt I shall review
and advise.
Crumbley
You may have confused Ms. Flambe (Mimi) with our
new-hire secretary. You have no doubt noticed Ms.
Oke in the employee cafeteria - she's the tall,
ebony-skinned beauty from Ghana. A trifle on the
steatopygous side, but otherwise quite attractive.
She is quite dedicated and we have been pursuing her
orientation activities quite vigorously.
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
Indeed, I have had similar trouble. I am sure the good
Barrister will not mind accomodating our little
request.
I have indeed noticed Ms Oke. She is pleasant and
efficient. As Special Agent Miracsky rather loudly
remarked, 'Is OK, is Okes!!! Is jokes!!!'
One must put up with Miracsky's sense of humour, one
supposes.
As ever,
A
|
| Nov 4 |
| Williams George |
The Attached Copies.
иииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииииBT
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. George,
I thank you for your attempt to send me these
attachments but for some reason I am still unable to
receive and view them. All I get is a string of
characters like you see below. I'm unsure as to why
this is happening or what to suggest.
As it is imperative that I review these documents
before things can go forward, is it not possible for
you to send them in perhaps a different file format?
Anything you can do, as soon as you can do it, will
be appreciated because I know that Lady Agatha is
anxious to proceed.
Thank you.
Crumbley
PS - I see where Chicago is playing the Saints this
weekend - who are you betting on?
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley,
Excellent work old boy. Throwing him with sporting
questions is a textbook tactic.
Remain blessed, as they say.
As ever,
A
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Hey, he's from Chicago. No way he's not a Bears fan.
WC
|
| Lady Agatha |
I shall take your word for it, old thing.
As ever,
A |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
I have heard from you over the dificulties you and
your co are going through, i have to assured you
once more that i will try to resend the documents
via micro soft word for your easy assess as soon as
possible.
Thanks And God Bless You
Barr George
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister George,
Thank you for your note.
We look forward to receiving the new documents.
With all good wishes.
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| November 7 |
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha,
Good Morning and how are you?
Just want to know if you finaly received the copies
what i sent last friday as promised,Can you urgently
make the reconfirmation as soon as possible to
enable me give you further detail for the fund
movement.
Thanks and God Bless You.
Barr George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Yes, I am very well, thank you. Though rather
exhausted - we had to chaperone Princess Candice to a
nightclub this weekend. One is not amused, but one has
to do one's duty.
Crumbley, did you look at the documents sent by the
barrister?
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I'm sorry to say I have not received the documents
yet. As you may recall I requested that they be sent
in a format compatable with my browser.
Which brings me to a very sore point: I must say I
don't uderstand why, with our multi-million dollar
budget increase this year, I am not able to
requisition a few new computers for my department.
Most of the machines I have to work with down here
are still running Windows II, and the ones that have
disk drives are certified antiques. Even Ms. Oke, my
new assistant, has trouble stifling her giggles over
the size of my floppy, as it is one of the old 5-1/4
inch models. We really must raise this issue in the
next staff meeting.
As soon as I receive the files from Mr. George I
will peruse with great haste and revert.
W.C.
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
I did forward the documents, old thing.
Perhaps, to expedite matters, we can press on, unless
you are insistent on seeing these certificates. They
are rather charming, after all.
Barrister George, what are your thoughts? Is there
some information I can provide you with whilst you
re-send the documents to Crumbley?
Thank you for your ideas about the computers. It has
come to my attention, however, that certain members of
staff at the Royal Custard Rooms - who are under your
jurisdiction, Crumbley - have been looking at some
rather unseemly websites.
And what is this I hear about a job lot of keyboards
from a raided internet café in Lagos arriving at my
office?
Crumbley, old fruit, you really must get on top of
things over there. Once you do that, I shall order the
finest computers money can buy.
Yours ever, A
|
| November 2 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I feel that protocol demands I inspect these
documents before this transaction goes too far.
However, as long as Mr. George resends them quickly,
I feel it is safe to proceed on a limited basis.
Regarding the viewing of unseemly websites here in
the Royal Custard Rooms, you must be referring to a
few modern art websites that I was showing Ms. Oke.
I was hoping to find sites that stimulate her,
culturally speaking, of course. All part of her
orientation, you see.
The job lot of keyboards must have slipped by me.
I'll look into it first thing in the morning.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Very well. Barrister George, I am so terribly sorry,
but it appears that Crumbley still cannot view the
documents.
Having consulted Intelligence it would appear that
they are too large for our computers. Please compress
these attachments so Crumbley can view them.
I realise that you may be frustrated with us but
protocol must be observed. You will be rewarded with
your patience.
Crumbley, please let me know about the keyboards. As
for the internet access, I shall take your word for
it. But Ms Oke does not seem her usual self.
As ever,
A
|
| Williams George |
Dear Weiner Crumbley'
I think this will be my last attemp, i have tried
severally and you should donwlord first from you
micro soft word to enable you asses the documents.
REVERT BACK.
Barr George
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. George / Lady Agatha,
I'm afraid I have some bad news to report. Whilst in the midst of downlording the vital documents in the Royal Custard Server Room, a fire broke out. I was showing Ms. Oke another art website, and during our rather animated critique, one of the candles I had placed to set the mood was knocked over. The ensuing fire went unnoticed for some time and when we finally realized what was happening we had only time to recover a few bits of clothing before escaping the conflagration. It would appear that the mail server was completely destroyed.
I am happy to report, however, that I was able to view one of the documents briefly and at a glance it appeared authentic. Based on this, my advice, Lady Agatha, would be to proceed with abandon.
Crumbley
PS - I will endeavor to have the mail server
replaced forthwith. The alternate will suffice until
then.
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley!
What on earth were you doing with candles in the
server room with all the cables in close proximity?
And why did you need to be in there to train Ms Oke?
Agents Stroganov and Miracsky kept important records
in the server room, Crumbley. Stroganov's recipe for
Russian custard was stored there too. I'm terribly
sorry, old boy, but you will have to explain the
situation to him yourself.
Her Majesty is not amused.
We shall discuss the other matters at Annie's
tomorrow!
George, we are ready to proceed. Please advise.
|
| November 10 |
| Williams George |
Attn: Weiner Crumbly/Lady Agatha,
Yes, i got the message and i was very disturbed
about the inferno. And i hope not much damage was
done.I also hope care much be taken to avoid a
reoccurance.
Meanwhile, i have made an arrangements for the
proper commencement of the project and hopefuly by
Monday next week, the process will actualy commence
upon the approval from the bank for the funds
movement.
However, let me know the particular document you
were able to view so that i may resend the rest.
Will keep you posted as we progress.
Rgds
George William Esq.
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. George,
I appreciate your concern over last night's fire.
Yes, precautions have been taken to avoid future
occurance, namely I have been banned from the server
room. Not to worry, I have relocated Ms. Oke's
orientation to my office.
I seem to recall that the document I was able to
view was a certification that the money does not
eminate from criminal activity. As I told Lady
Agatha, it appeared to be quite authentic and I
advised her to proceed. If you could, please resend
the other three documents at your leisure.
I haven't had time lately to check - do you know who
Chicago is playing this weekend? I would appreciate
you letting me know.
Thanks.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Excellent, old boy. Now, was there some information I
could supply you with?
Good work, Crumbley.
|
| Nov 11 |
| Williams George |
Dear Weiner Crumbley'
Kindly reconfirm the attached document an s same
time let me have the contact phone number both lady
Agatha.
Thanks and God Bless
Barr George
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. William,
I thank you very much for the documents. I will
review them tonight and inform Lady Agatha of my
findings.
Regarding my and Lady Agatha's phone numbers, as I
told you before, I am Lady Agatha's assistant and
advisor. I can speak with you personally only with
her approval. I'm sure that if she wishes us to
consult directly she will pass my number on to you.
I must confess to being somewhat dismayed over your
avoidance of any discussions of football. You are a
Chicagoan, are you not? Why do you avoid the
subject? As I mentioned to you earlier, I can tell a
lot about a person from his willingness or lack
therof to talk sports and you are the first person
from Chicago I ever met who avoids the subject. I
seek nothing more than common courtesy.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Good work, old thing.
Let us continue modalities apace.
As ever
A
|
| November 14 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha Bristol
Greetings.
Here are the copy of the approval from the bank issued in your favour for the sucessfull of entire transaction.The fund will transfer VIA Diplomatic Means to Holand,You have to know that the nature this Business does not require your bank information It is important to inform you of the new development and onward arrangement we have put in place to ensure a successfully and confidential transaction. In view of the official banking process and procedures which made it impossible to transfer such huge sum into your bank account through bank to bank, due to high monitoring of Terrorist Funding and Money Lundering in the world today by the united states and the International community based on the fact that all huge remittances from Africa are intercepted by the International Monetary Fund [I.M.F] and the Paris Club in this measure of new resolution, i must tell you that it is a trusted,reliable and thoroughly proven way to transfer such hug some out of the country/state.
Therefore, we have resolved to using my official position to signing this fund CASH to OFFSHORE in Amsterdam-Holand for onward transfer into an account which shall be opened by you. This arrangement was concluded after a careful and confidential discussion with a DIPLOMAT, who has accepted to use his office as a means of transporting the cash consignment to Amsterdam-Holand where you will be expected to travel for claim and deposit in a bank as you will be directed and assisted.
With regards to the successful and accepted agreement reached between me and the diplomat who has agreed to use his diplomatic immunity for a FEE to transport the total sum as consignment to our agreed destination Amsterdam-Holand. As a diplomat his immunity granted him the RIGHT of transporting his personal effect through the AIRPORT or any BOARDER POST without passing through the security checks. We are glad for this new development as it is safe and convenient and most importantly confidential, hence it may not pass through different official process of signing and approval. Under this arrangement, the diplomat does not know the exact contents of the consignments, he only knows the contents as PRECIOUS METALS/FAMILY TRESURES.
In respect to the above arrangement, you are urgently requested to travel to Amsterdam-Holand to enable you claim the consignment and deposit into your bank account, in any case, a safe and conducive arrangement has been put in place for this purpose. Therefore,by this opportunity you are required to inform me of your schedule and readiness to travel to Amsterdam-Holand to also enable me arange for my cousin to meet with you in there for more guldance.
I must assure and reassure you that the diplomat who is conveying these money boxes to you in Holand is not just an "ordinary diplomat" but a very senior and top United Nations official who happens to be one of the UN representatives.Infact I had to go through chains of procedures and hardships in order to secure the services .
This diplomat enjoys total UN immunity in any company's and bank representative, Regions, in the world. So it is therefore unneccessary for you to dwel or even think that the diplomat would be unable to accomplish his mission regarding this our transaction. I have his word on this and I assure you that the consignments will be routing to you in Holand safely in your favour and again,I have to implore you to use your good office to arrange and consolidate my effort by making your schedules without entertaining any fears on how to recieve the diplomat in Holand upon his arrival.
Oncemore,You will be receiving the funds through the Diplomatic attachee to United Nation Diplomatic Agent who is a high powered diplomat and has the immunity to airlift the consignment of such while it's contained the total sum of US$12.7Million which will routing to Standard Trust Clearing House In Amsterdam-Holand. All your information will be giving to the diplomat to enable him communicate with you on his arrival for onward clearance by you as the beneficairy to the consignment.
As soon as the diplomat arrive he will call you so that you so you can present yourself as the only legal representative to the consignment, So my own duty is to make all necessary arrangements and present you as the bonafide owner of the funds via legal means which had already reflected properly in the papers from the high Court issued in your favour, then your own duty is to Guide the diplomat until the consignment get to you safely. And this we must do and make sure that no mistake is made throughout the entire transaction.
As you can see, every thing about this transaction is almost coming to an end, all i needed from you now is your altmost cooperation as to ensure safe clearance of the consignment by the Diplomat who will deliver the consignment as ealier been told.
Be guided Accordingly that the Diplomat does not know the contents of the boxes, it was decleared to them as Family assets and to deliver as routed to the owner which is you,Never by mistake let him know that the contents are money, this is for security reasons.
Kindly respond to this message as soon as possible and give the phone number where you can be reached.
Thanks
Barr George William
Summercamp Advocates
Monrovia-Liberia
Phone:23-480-33024879.
( bank approval.doc attached)
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
It is rather rambling, however. Can you not sum it up
a little more concisely? Crumbley, have you read this?
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Yes, I went through this last night. It appears as
though a Foreign Office representative is required
in Holland to complete this transaction.
I have but one comment - the attached certificate
bears my name as well as your own and questions of
legality may arise as I am merely acting in the
capacity of advisor. You may want to raise this to
Sir Charles for his opinion. If I am correct, I
don't think it will be very difficult to revise the
document.
I await further instructions.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
Barrister George is proving to be an excellent
partner.
Sir Charles is in Smegaroon on FO business at the
moment. I suggest we contact Agent Stroganov to
assist, but if we need a representative who is not
quite, shall we say, to the point, perhaps Michael
Barrymore will do.
|
| November 15 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha/Crumbly,
your last emails hereby refers.
Firstly, i wanted a comprehension of the detailed step by step of proceedings hence i explained elaborately.
Secondly, all arrangements have been concluded as with the diplomat and the delivery to Holland will be effective tomorrow and by thursday hopefully, the security company there in Holland will have been in possession of the consignments and contact you people for the final claims.That is why your phone numbers (both Lady Agatha's and Crumbly's own ) are necessary for easy and urgent correspondences.
Thirdly, about the legal documents which were obtained in favour of both Lady Agatha and Crumbly, i don't think that will be a problem at all since i was rightly advised to use both names to get all legal documents to that effect.I also hope that will not be any problem with both of you since i am not worried about it, who else will? And again at the final claiming centre in Holland any of the above (that is Lady Agatha or Crumbly) can present himself if both of you are not able.
Finally and again, kindly provide me with your phone numbers to enable me accelerate the delivery with the diplomat.
Revert back to me ASAP
Thanks and God Bless
Barr George
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. George,
Can you tell me who advised you it was acceptable
to use both names?
Lady Agatha, did you have a chance to speak with
Sir Charles on this matter?
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley,
I have spoken to Sir Charles briefly, as he is in
Smegaroon. But hs is most concerned at this turn in
modalities.
Please advise George that we are not amused.
As ever
A
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha/Crumbly,
your last emails hereby refers.
Firstly, i wanted a comprehension of the detailed
step by step of proceedings hence i explained
elaborately.
Secondly, all arrangements have been concluded as
with the diplomat and the delivery to Holland will
be effective tomorrow and by thursday hopefully, the
security company there in Holland will have been in
possession of the consignments and contact you
people for the final claims.That is why your phone
numbers (both Lady Agatha's and Crumbly's own ) are
necessary for easy and urgent correspondences.
Thirdly, about the legal documents which were
obtained in favour of both Lady Agatha and Crumbly,
i don't think that will be a problem at all since i
was rightly advised to use both names to get all
legal documents to that effect.I also hope that will
not be any problem with both of you since i am not
worried about it, who else will? And again at the
final claiming centre in Holland any of the above
(that is Lady Agatha or Crumbly) can present himself
if both of you are not able.
Finally and again, kindly provide me with your phone
numbers to enable me accelerate the delivery with
the diplomat.
Revert back to me ASAP
Thanks and God Bless
Barr George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
I respectfully refer you, however, to Crumbley's
reply.
|
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha/Crumbly,
I was thinking that it would be more condusive and
comfortable if i used both your name and crumbly's
as the beneficiary, i never envisaged this
controversy, it was realy for the best interest and
intentions. But never mind i can still make the
changes at the Federal High court, the only thing is
that it will cost me more money to do that.
Kindly let me have the information of the person i
should use as the owner/beneficiary/recipient, so
that by monday next week i will proceed to the
Federal High Court to effect the changes. Sorry if i
have wronged you.
Let me know what to do and whom to use
Regard
George
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. George,
Not to worry, we all make mistakes. And I don't
see how deleting a name from these documents can be
very expensive, either. No, this should be a simple
fix.
My suggestion, pending Lady Agatha's approval, of
course, would be to use Lady Agatha's name as I am
merely advising here.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley and George,
Thank you for your note.
I am more than happy for you to proceed with using my
name as the beneficiary.
Perhaps, Crumbley, the good Barrister was referring to
the bribes and whatnot one has to pay in his part of
the world.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha/Crumbly
Thanks a lot.
You know all the documants have to be sent to
Amsterdam( the security company) so it is not just
changing the one i have, i will have to go the court
to make the changes to avoild any problem during
clearing of the funds at the security company in
Amsterdam. Everything have to me authentic. So i
will make the necessary changes on Moday next week
in favour of Lady Agatha and as soon as that is done
i will notify you.
Have a nice weekend, we communicate again on monday.
Bye for now
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
One would have thought this was indeed a rather simple
legal modality, but you must do what you must.
Crumbley, have you repaired the damage in the server
room? Also, please update me on Ms Oke's training.
One other thing; I have ordered a dozen Tossov desktop
computers for your department. Please take care of
them, old thing. They were frightfully expensive, and
Agent Stroganov had to beat them down on the price.
|
| November 20 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I sympathize with Mr. George - I was unaware that
the changes would require a court hearing to
accomplish, and sometimes these sessions can be
quite labor-intensive.
We have some issues remaining to be dealt with
before the server room is completely rehabilitated.
The walls require re-painting and Ms. Oke and I are
somewhat at odds over the color selection. She won't
budge from her choice and I consider mine to be the
more appropriate. We will spend tonight viewing
paint samples to try and break the deadlock.
The Tossov's did indeed arive but we have a slight
problem, vis., the keyboards are Cyrillic characters
only, and the installation and operations manuals
are all Russian language. There were two extra boxes
delivered with the computers, one containg 24
bottles of Stroganov's favorite brand of
custard-flavored vodka, the other a number of
Kalashnikov assault rifles. Perhaps you could ask
him what he would like us to do with these little
extras and maybe have him speak with the Moscow
black-market computer vendor regarding the
keyboards.
Thank you,
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
We shall have to wait and see what Barrister George
will reply with; I should imagine, though that all
will be well.
He has signed an Oath, after all.
Regarding the server room: do hurry, old boy. Jeffery
Dahmer, the Royal Interior Designer is due to call
tomorrow and I have to insruct him. He works in
various institutions and his time is limited - he
needs to get ahead, you see.
As for the Tossov computers, I am rather surprised, to
say the least. However, I have discussed the situation
with Agent Stroganov. He reports that he needs the
weapons for a campaign in Smegaroon (it is better, one
finds, in these situations, if one does not ask too
many questions) and the custard vodka is, as he says,
his only vice.
However, please try to get by with the keyboards for
now. Stroganov is frightfully busy, but will try to
arrange a new delivery of keyboards next week.
Remain blessed.
As ever,
A
|
| November 22 |
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister George,
I trust you are well.
We are awaiting your next e-mail so we can continue
modalities.
Why the delay? We hope you have not caught some
ghastly virus or been eaten by a hippopotamus.
Please do reply as a matter of urgency.
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| November 24 |
| Williams George |
Hello My Lady Agatha,
No, i was never engulfed by any Hippopotamus, it was
just the the measure of the pressure as i just came
back from the court with the document after having
waited for this far for them to sign it. but
finally, here is the document as attatched.
Kindly Confirm receipt of it so that i can give you
final updates with regard to the Funds movement.
Respectfully,
George
rank_xerox.jpg
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Surely it could not have taken long to simply change a
name on a certificate?
Despite the native slowness of some of your chappies,
I would urge you to please do hurry, old bean.
Modalities are pressing, I can assure you of that.
Crumbley, what do you make of this document? |
| November 25 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Much to my extreme chagrin, I am unable to open
the attached file. I'm afraid the new Tossov
computers we received did not include imaging
software. As a matter of fact they included no
software at all. I queried Agent Stroganov's Russian
vendor and he informed me that he was authorized to
exclude the software, operating systems, modem
cards, motherboards and English keyboards in trade
for the custard-flavored vodka that was included in
the deal. Of the dozen or so machines delivered we
have been able to knock together one relatively
complete one.
I will have Ms. Oke requisition the appropriate
software as soon as she arrives this morning. As the
delivery time is unknown at this moment, to save
time perhaps Mr. George could re-send the file
directly to me.
Weiner
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
Sometimes, old thing, I have to tell you that I am
driven to despair at what happens at the Royal Custard
Rooms these days. I suggest you write to Agent
Stroganov to see what the devil is going on.
Barrister George, we have had these problems before
with your little attachments. Would you be a brick and
re-send it please?
Many thanks.
|
| November 27 |
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha,
Sorry i was outstationed for 4days so i just entered
my office now and saw your last mail. I attached
again the document.
Now, i got information from the bank that the
movement of the Treasure to the security company in
Holland was effected yesterday.
So without wasting any more time You (as the only
beneficiary now) have to write to the security
company immediately for the claims immediately so
that they can respond with al the details for the
claims.
I will send you a text of the latter of the claims
so that you can make correction where necessary and
send it to them ASAP
Here are the information of the security company
ALPHA LYNEX BV.
200 Dawilkstein Street,
Amsterdam the Netherlands
TEL: +31-649-733-446
TEL: +31-649-733-447
FAX: +31-649-733-448
CONTACT PERSON: MR: CHRISTOPHER SILLIM
http://www.albv-online.org
I will send the text of the letter of claims
shortly.
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
We shall scrutinize your little document. Once we have
done that, Crumbley will write to the Security
Company. Are you sure this Mr Silly can be trusted?
|
| November 29 |
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha,
I attatch the specimen of the letter of claims to
the security company. Kindly print it, make
correction where necessary sign it and send it to
them immediately.Send it to them via fax or email as
an attchment, also call them to confirm if they have
received. Pls there should be no more delay as
everything has been done from this end. So expedite
action.
Respond Pls
Respectfully,
George
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Lady Agatha
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Lady Agatha Bristol
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\par 200 Dawilkstein Street,
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{\b\fs28 Attn: Christopher Sillim
\par }\pard\plain \nowidctlpar\adjustright {\b\fs28
\par Sir,
\par }{\b\fs28\ul Application for Claims of two
consignments valued at Twelve Million Seven Hundred
thousand united states dollars only
(USD$12,700,000:00) being deposited in your custody
by Standard Trust Bank Liberia in Favor of Lady
Agatha Bristol
\par }{\b\fs28
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\b\fs28 With reference to the above subject matter I
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\par \pard\plain \nowidctlpar\adjustright {\b\fs28
\par I am willing to fulfill all my obligations
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\par Find attached the deposit certificate as issued
to the depositor.
\par Thanking your kind cooperation in advance.
\par Yours truly
\par Lady Agatha Bristol
\par }{\f1\fs20
\par }}
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
I am afraid that once again, we are having problems
with your attachments as your latest document is not
on your missive. Might I suggest you invest in a more
modern machine? I am aware of the rather jerry-rigged
nature of things out there but surely a man of your
means can attend to this matter.
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Sorry to take so long to respond; Ms. Oke and I
just returned from an intensive undercovers training
session in Costa del Sol. I'll be submitting my
expense report later today.
As there was no email address given for the
security company I sent a letter by post to the
address provided requesting information and an email
address.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Excellent news, old thing. I trust you educated Ms Oke
appropriately.
Did you send the letter by first class or did you call
Sir Ted Bundy at the Royal Couriers?
As ever,
A
|
| December 1 |
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha/Crumbly,
Why did you send the latter to te security company
through Post? you know the nature of this
ransaction, invoving such huge amount all dealings
regarding it should not go by posting to avoid any
form of tampering. I gave you all the contacts
information of them including their fax
number,website, email address, including the email
address of the person incharge (Christopher Sillim).
I don't expect you to make that mistake because when
you go to their website all information you need are
there including the above. So what you do now is
reprint out the letter again, sign it scan it and
send it to them via email or you can equally send it
to them via fax.
Oncemore i give you the information again:
ALPHA LYNEX BV.
200 Dawilkstein Street,
Amsterdam the Netherlands
TEL: +31-649-733-446
TEL: +31-649-733-447
FAX: +31-649-733-448
Website: www.albv-online.org
CONTACT PERSON: MR: CHRISTOPHER SILLIM
Email address: c.sillim@albv-online.org
Company's email address: alphalynex.bv@europe.com
About the attachment, i can't just explain why you
find it difficult to get it while all other once i
sent you got them. Anyway, i am going out of my way
to make sure i attach it, even if it means going to
a public Internet Cafe.
But now, the most important thing is rsend the
letter to them via fax or email, and after you have
sent it to
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Are you saying that the security company cannot be
trusted?
Crumbley, I suggest you run some background checks on
Mr. Silly.
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Splendid, old boy. This rather charming little
certificate can cover the crack in the wall next to
Crumbley's desk.
We look forward to continuing modalities.
|
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha/Weiner Crumbly,
I am not saying that Mr Christopher Silim could not
be trusted or something like that but it is not
security wise to send it via post , having taken
into consideration the transaction, its nature and
the amount involved. All i am saying is send the
letter through fax or email as all contacts
including the company's email address, fax number,
website and even, Mr Christopher Silim's email
address supplied to you yesterday even this morning.
who said the company's email address and fax number
and website were not included in the messages i have
been sending to you since two days now? PLS SEND
THEM FAX OR EMAIL OK. I am just being security
conscious, hope you understand.So do it right away.
The contacts information again for your
comprehension
ALPHA LYNEX BV.
200 Dawilkstein Street,
Amsterdam the Netherlands
TEL: +31-649-733-446
TEL: +31-649-733-447
FAX: +31-649-733-448
Website: http://www.albv-online.org
CONTACT PERSON: MR: CHRISTOPHER SILLIM
Email address: c.sillim@albv-online.org
Company's email address: alphalynex.bv@europe.com
George
N/B:
You can still go to their website and get more
information if you like or you can call them and
attentioned Mr Christpoher Silim on the number
above.
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister,
Thank you for your note.
Crumbley, what do you suggest we do now?
|
| December 2 |
| Williams George |
Hello My Lady
communicate me now with details that you have done
what i asked you to do. should i remind you that
everything that needed to do from this end had been
done, the rest is certainly your portion.TherefOre,
i don't expect any further delay.
over to you Lady.
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister George,
Please address me as Lady Agatha. I am not one of your
native conquests from some shanty town drinking den!
Secondly, I do not care for your rather impatient
tone. Please communicate clearly as to which
information you want, then either myself or Crumbley
will immediately forward it to you.
|
| Williams George |
Hello Lady Agatha,
Sorry, but i didn't mean to offend or insult you. I
just wanted to know if you have sent the letter to
the security company through fax or email. Pls don't
mind my tone, it's just that i want this transaction
concluded as soon as possible and face our
investment drive. Hope you understand.
Pls send the letter to the security company via fax
or email if you have not done that.
Respectfully,
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
I accept your apology, old boy. In fact, I write this
from Annie's Bar after a long week. Dr. Harold
Shipman, Her Majesty's physician and I have raised a
custard liqueur to you and this continuing business.
Messages have been left for Crumbley, as I asked him
to attend to this matter. However, he has been out of
the office today, at a conference in Smegaroon.
He will be back over the weekend, and I will speak to
him then.
God help you.
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| December 4 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Ms. Oke and I returned from the Smegaroon
conference this evening. As you know, we were due
back yesterday but I was recovering from a fall down
a flight of stairs, no doubt caused by an exposure
to contaminated brandy at the after-conference
party.
Since Mr. George does not feel that the post to be
an adequate medium of correspondence, I will get an
email off to the security company this evening.
I must bring to your attention a concern I have.
While giving the 'Sworn Affidavit of Change of
Ownership' recently received from Mr. George a
closer scrutiny, I stumbled on what is obviously an
error. Please note that in item 2 it states, "That
Lady Agatha Bristol is the only genuine
owner/Kinship of two Treasure Boxes legally given to
'him' .... As you are obviously not a 'him' I feel
that there is a potential here for problems later. I
think this either needs to be corrected or referred
to the legal department.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
I am terribly sorry to hear of your accident. I shall
look into the brandy issue immediately.
In terms of the Sworn Affidavit, well spotted, old
thing!
Barrister George, do you have any thoughts on this
matter?
As ever
A
|
| December 5 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. Cillim,
As way of introduction, my name is Weiner Crumbley
and I am assisting Lady Agatha Bristol in a
transaction involving your security company. This is
to notify you that we are prepared to conclude this
transaction and we await your instructions on how to
proceed.
Please be so kind as to copy lady Agatha on all
correspondence.
Regards.
W. Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
W,
Excellent work old boy. Let us hope Mr Silly responds
in kind.
A
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Well spotted indeed, but it is a minor error, which
does not and will not pose any threat so long as you
have a valid ID for recognition. Pls carry on
Respectfully,
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note. I trust you are well.
Are you certain about this matter?
Technicalities are extremely important and we would
not like to play fast and loose with legal modalities.
You may be able to do so in your part of the the Third
World, what with all the corruption and whatnot, but
we have a rather more professional approach to these
things.
Crumbley - your thoughts please.
|
| December 6 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Yes, i am very sure the little mistake certainly
will not pose any problem even now and after, So no
worry about it. Have you communicated the security
company as you promised Crumbly would do today?
Respectfuly,
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Honestly, old thing, you reall must keep up with
modalities. Please read Crumbley's other email!
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I have contacted Mr. Cilia at the security company
as you requested and have received a response.
Unfortunately it appears that my request that you be
copied on all correspondence was ignored.
He has made a somewhat unusual request for
documentation, vis., my power of attorney, a copy of
my passport and a copy of my electricity bill. I
shall respond to him today with assurances that my
quarters are indeed wired for electricity.
Regarding the documentation error, I was about to
write to you and Mr. George recommending that you
proceed. However, Ms. Oke, who hails from the
African continent, firmly suggests that any
documentation be error free. She advises that
anything to do with transfer of funds in those
countries can be a quagmire, with minor officials
eager to spot the slightest mistake and delay
transactions. Eventually these people end up having
to be bought off to make them go away. I am inclined
to concure with her evaluation.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley,
Excellent work. We shall go with your recommendation
regardign the accuracy of the paperwork.
What is this nonsense about an electricity bill?
As ever
A
|
| Dec 6 |
Christopher Sillim
alphalynex.bv@europe.com
|
Attn: W. Crumbley
Dear Sir,
In response to your e-mail, we wish to bring to
your notice that we are in possession of the
consignments in question, you are required to send
to us the followings through Fax or e-mail
attachment,
1-Power of Attorney
2-Proof of identity such as (International
Passport/Drivers license)
3-Proof of address such as (Telephone/Energy Bill)
As soon as all this proof are sent to us and
verified by our claim department and proves you as
the real beneficiary of the consignments in question
we will then furnish you with further details to
come with before taking delivery of your
consignments in our possession here in Amsterdam The
Netherlands.
We await your immediate response.
Best Regards,
Christopher Sillim,
(Head of Customers Services)
ALPHA LYNEX BV.
TEL: +31-649-733-446
TEL: +31-649-733-447
FAX: +31-649-733-448
alphalynex.bv@europe.com
c.sillim@albv-online.org
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. Silia,
I thank you for your prompt response. You did,
however fail to copy Lady Agatha Bristol on your
email as I had requested. In the future please
ensure that she is copied on ALL correspondence.
Regarding your request for documentation:
1. Power of Attorney - I fail to see why you would
require my power of attorney and I await your
explanation before sending.
2. Passport or Drivers License - I'm afraid that
the Foreign Office forbids transmitting scans or
faxed copies of such identification, a policy I
firmly agree with. I'm sure you are aware that
identity theft is rampant these days and such
documentation could easily be intercepted and used
for less than honorable purposes. Should the
presence of a representative of the Foreign Office
be required in Amsterdam, such identification can be
presented at that time.
3. Telephone or energy bill - Please see item 2,
but I assure you that I both own a telephone and
utilize electricity. I also have running water and
indoor toilet facilities.
Please send any further information required for
us to claim the consignment in question.
Sincerely,
Weiner Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
This is most interesting.
We are happy to send Agent Stroganov as a
representative to Amsterdam. He has contacts there, as
you know.
As ever,
A
|
| Williams George |
Dear Weiner Crumbley/Lady Agatha,
Thanks for the updates from the security company.
Yes, you are right, but i am sure why they requested
for the above information is to make sure they are
not dealing with the wrong person. Meanwhile, copy
the power of Attorney/Affidavit of change of
ownership which i sent to you to them while you
present the rest in person when visiting them.
Respectfully,
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Do you not think all this identification nonsense is
going a little far? What does Crumbley's electricty
bill have to do with anything?
In any case, Michael Barrymore, our Financial Adviser,
handles such trivialities. Do you want me to contact
him?
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Dec 7 |
| M. Montague Barrymore, QC |
Dear Lady Agatha
RE GEO WILLIAM, BARR. in matters pertaining
WHEREAS aforementioned WILLIAMS is in correspondence with your office, apparently on a quod vimtos basis, I will be pleased to supply the respective Vas Deferens codiciles as per the applicable regulatory statutes. Please allow for the suppository nomenclatures in such an instance.
Awaiting your instructions
As ever,
BARRYMORE
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrymore,
Thank you for your note. It is good to hear from you,
and that you are ready to assist in modalities.
Either myself or Crumbley will be in touch.
See you at Annie's on Friday.
As ever
A
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Your last email refeered.
Like i said ealier all those information as
requested by them are just to make sure the right
person are being with and for ID purposes and
nothing more.Therefore, there should be no worry,
and again don't involve any other person as the
number of persons we already have from your side is
certainly more than enough for us. You know, in
transaction of such there is need to be security
conscious to avoid leakages and scandals. Hope you
understand.
Respectfully,
George
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister George,
Thank you for your note.
We do not mean to cause unnecessary delay. But you
must understand that these are legal documents
involving millions of dollars, not heated negotiations
and bartering at a local village goat market.
For these important modalities not to proceed smoothly
- and for you to go unrewarded - because of a lack of
vigilance at the beginning of proceedings would be a
terrible shame.
Bear with us, old boy. We will make it worth your
while.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Dec 7 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha/Weiner Crumbley,
Pls let me know updates on modalities with the
security company.
Respectfully,
George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister George
Thank you for your note, which raises a surprisingly
good point.
Crumbley, have you heard back from Mr Silly at the
Security Company?
I note that you have signed your name George William.
Is this correct? I understand that in the Colonies
people tend to have several names - perhaps tribal -
but should we address you as Barrister George? Or
Barrister William? Or Barrister William George? Or
Barrister George William? These matters of protocol
are important.
Please get back to me.
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha/Weiner Crumbley,
Thanks for the note.
It is Barrister George William, but i thought since
we are going in a kind of informal way i rather have
me called George, but if you say so Address me as
Barrister George William if that pleases you.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister William,
Thank you for your note. I do appreciate your thoughts
on this matter.
Modalities are progressing well, do you not think?
|
| December 8 |
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I was unable to communicate yesterday as the one
working Tossov went belly-up on us. Ms. Mashuginah
was kind enough to loan me her laptop for a few
hours today to get caught up.
I think that bringing in Barrymore to assist in
the transaction and having Agent Stroganov on
standby to go to Amsterdam are both excellent ideas.
I would have enjoyed going myself but I'm sure you
remember that incident in the red light district
last year that caused me to be declared persona non
grata for five years. This despite my almost
complete innocence of the accusations.
I believe that things are running smoothly and all
eventualities have been anticipated. I will send the
security company a copy of the power of attorney
today.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
But really Crumbley, you must learn to take care of
the equipment we buy you. What on earth were you
doing? The Tossov computers are known for their
ruggedness. Have you explained to Mrs Oke how to help
you with a Tossov?
The less said about Amsterdam, the better, I would
say. In fact, Agent Stroganov made the final €50,000
compensation payment to the "hotel" owner Mr Van Der
Hachtenshachtenfachtengracht just this morning.
Very well, then. Please do proceed with contacting Mr
Silly, and keep me informed of all developments. Good
work, Crumbley.
As ever,
A
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha/Weiner Crumbley,
I have your response now, thank you.
Meanwhile, i am expecting you to conclude with
Amsterdam before friday so that we may have them
give us appointment early next week because i expect
this transaction concluded on or before the end of
next week, so that we all can prepare for the coming
season. Hope you got what i mean.
Respectfuly,
Barr. George William.
N/B:
By the way, who is Barrymore? and what is he to us?
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister George,
Thank you for your note.
We have tried to contact your chappie at the Security
Company but we have had no response. I cannot see how
we will conclude this by Friday, but we will try.
Michael Barrymore is Her Majesty's financial and legal
adviser. He can handle any disbursements from Her
Majesty's Government's point of view.
God help you.
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Dec 11 |
| Williams George |
Hello Weiner Crumbley/Lady Agatha,
This Morning i have forwarded the power of attorney
to the security company as you asked so lets hope
they wil respond to you today.
Respectfully,
Barr George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
Excellent, old boy.
They have indeed contacted us.
I shall reply accordingly.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I'm afraid that I have a bit of a problem sending
the security company a copy of the power of
attorney. You see, when the one working Tossov
cratered on us, the only copy I have was on the
beast's hard drive. Despite Ms. Oke's best efforts
(who, by the way, has become quite adept with a
Tossov) we have been unable to recover the data.
I'm sending the hard drive to our IS team to see
if there's not something that they can do to recover
the data. As well as the power of attorney, I also
have other highly sensitive information, personal
pictures and such, that I would not want to fall
into the wrong hands.
I was wondering if perhaps Mr. George could assist
by forwarding a scan of the document to the security
company with a note explaining our situation here.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley!!
What are you playing at?
Those computers were extremely expensive. Do I have to
ask Agent Stroganov to buy yet more equipment? If so,
the cost is going ot have to come out of The Royal
Custard Rooms' budget, I can assure you.
Really, Crumbley! You must be more careful - what is
this I hear about scented candles and a double bed
built into the wall of your office?
|
CHRISTOPHER SILLIM
c.sillim@albv-online.org
|
Attn: Weiner Crumbley
Dear Sir/Madam,
Your fax message has been acknowledged. I wish to
inform you that your
claim file has now been forwarded to our Legal
Representatives to vet and
verify pending legalization /sign-off of this claim.
A meeting has been scheduled on the 14th December
2005 for final Sign-Off
and further delivery of the consignments to you.
Your duties/obligation during the meeting would
include
1) To pay storage charges of (€36,104.00)
2) Signing of Release Order/Instructions
After the Legalization and Sign-off, you shall be
requested to choose
immediately your preferred mode of delivery.
The mode/option for the delivery of your claimed
consignment can be
i) Instant delivery to you in our office
ii) Direct delivery to your country via diplomatic
means
As soon as we receive your comment on this and you
are sure to meet up the
appointment as scheduled above, we shall establish
proper communication
for further actions.
We hope we have served you well and intend to also
be of service to you in
the future.
Yours Faithfully
Best Regards,
Christopher Sillim,
(Head of Customers Services)
ALPHA LYNEX BV.
www.albv-online.org
TEL: +31-649-733-446
TEL: +31-649-733-447
FAX: +31-649-733-448
alphalynex.bv@europe.com
c.sillim@albv-online.org
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Sir
Thank you for your note.
It was rather amusing to say the least - 36,000 Euros
for "storage charges"?
I shall allow you your little joke. Now please may we
continue modalities - this is not child's play, you
know.
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Mr. William,
I must apologize - I did not notice that I had
copied you on my last message to Lady Agatha unitl I
had clicked the 'send' button. Our internal
squabbles over the stone-aged computer equipment
that I'm saddled with here is certainly not
something you should be troubled with.
Again, my apologies, sir.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
The ongoing computer problems are an absolutely superb
diversion and distraction tactic.
We are amused.
As ever,
A
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I really must protest the treatment I'm receiving
over these 'computers' that Agent Stroganov
procurred; they are little better than abacusses. Or
abacci, or whatever those damned little beaded
devices are called. Our computer equipment budget
was severely compromised by the Kalashnikovs and
custard-flavored vodka that Agent Stoganov insisted
on including in the deal. Our IS department head who
inspected these Tossovs says he hasn't seen
components like these since the early 1970's. I tell
you, Lady Agatha, these are museum pieces.
Regarding the double bed and scented candles, I
maintain that these are reasonable and necesary
expenses. Ms. Oke and I are often here quite late
and being able to rest occasionally keeps our
productivity at it's peak.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley:
Thank you for your note.
What do you think Barrister George William must think
of this constant complaining? We have modalities to
attend to, and this is not helping matters, if I may
say.
I do not have time to deal with these technological
issues, though I have briefly spoken to Agent
Stroganov.
He claims that as part of the Tossov transaction, you
demanded six bottles of Kuzdatz perfume, a hundred
boxes of prophylactics and a dozen bottles of
custard-flavour edible massage oil.
Stroganov was more than happy to obtain them for you,
and he has been spoken to accordingly about using
Special Operations time and money on personal
transactions. I do not mind the occassional deal to
help 100% risk-free modalities, but this is getting
out of hand.
What on earth is going on?
A
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Again I must protest! My legitimate requests to
Agent Stroganov are obviously being put forth to you
entirely out of context.
The Kuzdatz perfume was a signing bonus for Ms.
Oke and was written into her work agreement with us.
I'm afraid we were legally bound to provide it. I
would point out that I only received 4 bottles.
I brand agent Stroganov's accusation of my
requesting the procurement of 100 boxes of
prophylactics a bare-faced lie! I only requested 75
boxes, and these for use to protect floppies from
viruses. While I admit that a number of them may
have been diverted for other purposes unknown, my
intentions for requesting them were entirely noble.
Lastly, the custard-flavored massage oil is well
known for it's effectiveness as a general lubricant
and it is used in quantity in our offices. I deem
the fact that it is custard-flavored to be strictly
coincidental.
I hope this explanation serves to completely
exonerate me of any misjudgement or wrong-doing.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Crumbley,
Thank you for your note.
This is all very well, old thing. But what on earth do
you need massage oil in the office for? And who agreed
to the perfume clause in Ms Oke's contract? Fragrant
she may be, but I smell a rat.
This is all rather concerning, I have to say. But as
always, you deliver the goods, and your record of
completing succesful risk-free modalities is second to
none, if you'll pardon the vernacular, so we shall say
no more about this episode.
Remain blessed, as they say.
Yours ever,
A
|
| Dec 12 |
CHRISTOPHER SILLIM
alphalynex.bv@europe.com
|
Attn: Weiner Crumbley & Lady Agatha Bristol
Dear Sir/Madam,
In response to your e-mail, we will like to clarify
you on the issue that
we are not playing or joking concerning the storage
charges of your
consignments in our security vault.
For your information you are been advised to comply
with our directives
and come down to our office with all charges to
enable us serve you more
better or we have no option than to submit your
consignments to the Dutch
Authority for further investigation.
We await your immediate response.
Best Regards,
Christopher Sillim,
(Head of Customers Services)
ALPHA LYNEX BV.
TEL: +31-649-733-446
TEL: +31-649-733-447
FAX: +31-649-733-448
alphalynex.bv@europe.com
c.sillim@albv-online.org
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Sir,
We are happy to discuss modalities in person but we
will have to negotiate your fee.
Barrymore and Crumbley, would you please check the
Bowden Sundry account to see what we have left. We had
a large amount to pay for Agent Stroganov's 10 years
in service party at Annie's last week.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Dec 12 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
I received your notes, most of which were your
internal businesses with your people but copied to
me consciously or unconsciously, which i will rather
say i have little or no comments, as it is quite no
business of mine.But certainly no regrets.
Meanwhile, i would like to have your
representative's Travel schedule (flight and hotel)
to Amsterdam so that i will know when to send my own
representative to join him with regards to
Wednesday's meeting with the security company.
Ofcourse you ought to be aware that i will also have
my own representative there to work with yours
understanding.
Also let the security company have the flight
details so that they may be able to arrange and pick
him at the Air port as all protocols should be
observed for a hitch free and also part of their
services.
Respectfully,
Barr George Wiliam
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister William,
Thank you for your note.
I must say that although Mr Cilly seems a decent sort,
he wants 36,000 Euros to clear the consignment.
This seems rather outlandish to me, especially as we
are spending British taxpayers' money!
Can you either provide a detailed breakdown of these
charges to myself, Crumbley and Barrymore, or try to
negotiate on our behalf?
If we can get these fees to a sensible level we will
pop over to Holland to complete these modalities.
God help you.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Dec 13 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Your last note hereby refers.
I am sorry but you know i don't have anything to say
about the charges or the power to influence
it,rather you should direct the question to Mr
Sillim so that he may give you a breakdown. Needless
to say, you know this is between to continents
(Africa and Europe, two different ways of
operating.So i don't have the jurisdiction to querry
the way Europeans do their things of such. Right
now, all i am interested in is to have modalities
completed tomorrow and we have full possession of
our consignments.
Finally, I would appeal that we complete modalities
harmoniously so as to avoid any unneseaary arguments
at this final stage and to avoid putting us in
jeopardy. This is my humble advise.
Respectfully
Barr. Geroge William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister,
Thank you for your note.
Very well, we shall advise Mr Cilly of our position.
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha/Weiner Crumbly,
Further to my last email and with particular
reference to where you made mention that you were
spending British Tax Payers money, I like to draw
your attention oncemore that you are not spending
tax payers money for nothing, that any money you
invest in this transaction shall be paid back to
you, even to the last dime immediately all
modalities were completed tomorrow, hopefully.So
please get that correctly.
Respectfuly
Barr. George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister William,
Thank you for your note.
Indeed you make a good point. But 36,000 Euros plus
your fees do make this rather expensive. However, per
my last note, we shall speak to your Mr Cilly and see
what can be done.
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
I will review the Bowden Sundry account and
respond shortly.
Crumbley
|
| Lady Agatha |
Very good, Crumbley.
Barrymore, I trust you are prepared. Do we need a
Miracsky transfer?
As ever,
A
|
| Dec 13 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Thanks for your understanding. Pls get everything on
schedule and give me details.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
A good idea, once again. Crumbley, can you see to this
please?
|
| Dec 15 |
| Williams George |
DEAR LADY AGATHA/WEINER CRUMBLEY,
I DID NOT HEAR FROM YOU TODAY AND MOREOVER WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO CONCLUDE PROCEEDINGS IN AMSTERDAM TODAY
BUT NO WORD YET FROM YOU. CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL
ME WHAT THE SITUATION IS IN AMSTERDAM, I AM WORRIED.
RESPECTFULLY,
BARR. GEROGE WILLIAM
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Please do calm down, old boy!
As you will see from my reply to Barrymore, we are
ready to travel to Amsterdam. Now please stop this
native intemperence. This is not child's play but
serious risk-free modalities - you will get what is
coming to you, come what may.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| M. Montague Barrymore, QC |
Dear Lady Agatha
SILLIM IN RESPONSE DEEMED PRO MIRACSKY
WHEREAS this matter is a pro vom poppadom exchange
interdict, then I am of
the strong opinion that the Miracsky transfer is the
only matter pursuant.
I have made nominal declaration of the Bowden Sundry
account, and the final
numeration of all fiduciary quims remains instate.
I trust that this answers and questions outstanding
viz-a-vis this Sillem
et al matter?
I remain your humble servant
BARRYMORE
|
| Dec 16 |
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrymore,
Thank you for your note.
I am pleased to say that having read your e-mail, it
would seem that we are ready to travel to Amsterdam.
Crumbley, please make the necessary arrangements.
As ever,
A
|
| Weiner Crumbley |
Lady Agatha,
Sorry again for my lack of response these past few
days but I've been beside myself over this
anti-christ Tossov. Just trying to get this monster
to boot up is a 3-hour project involving half the IS
department.
Anyhow, I have been experiencing problems with
your travel arrangements. As you are aware, the
holiday season is upon us and half the population of
London seems to be trying to get to Amsterdam. Would
you have any objections to flying to Estonia and
then proceeding by train to Amsterdam?
I would also mention that I sent Ms. Oke to try
and talk Admiral Donitz, commander of the Royal
Yacht, into ferrying us across the channel but would
seem that even her charms were insufficient to
pursuade him to pull the boat out of drydock. He
did, however, offer passage on a minesweeper that
will be putting into some port on the coast of
Holland for resupply.
Which of the two options do you prefer?
Crumbley
Do let me know
|
| Lady Agatha |
W,
Thank you for your note.
I would rather avoid the vulgar masses at the airport.
It would be rather a wheeze to travel by boat.
You are due in Poland for an anti-fraud conference
shortly. Perhaps Captain Stabbin would be able to
assist Donitz in this matter?
As ever
A
|
| Williams George |
DEAR LADY AGATHA/WEINER CRUMBLEY,
I AM RELIEVED WITH YOUR RESPONSE, THANK YOU.
OFCOURSE, WHO WOULDN'T BE APPREHENSIVE WHILE WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO CONCLUDE MODALITIES IN AMSTERDAM
YEASTERDAY AND COMMUNICATION SUDDENLY SEIZED AND NO
WORD FROM EITHER SIDE?. ANYWAY, COMMUNICATE MR
SILLIM AND LET HOM KNOW THE DETAILS.
RESPECTFULLY,
BARR. GEORGE WILLIAM
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear Barrister,
I am terribly sorry, but we have have kept you up to
date on all matters regarding modalities. As you have
seen we are about to commence sail for Amsterdam.
|
| Williams George |
DEAR LADY AGATHA/WENIER CRUMBLEY,
I KEEP WONDERING ALL DAY WHY I AM KEPT MUTE SINCE
YESTERDAY WE WERE SUPPOSED TO ROUND UP PROCEEDINGS
IN AMSTERDAM INSPITE OF ALL MY MAILS. PLEASE CAN
SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON, I NEED TO KNOW.
TRUST YOU WILL RESPOND TO ME ASAP
RESPECTFULY,
BARR. GEORGE WILLIAM
|
| Lady Agatha |
Barrister William!
Will you *please* calm down!
This is the upper echelons of Her Majesty's Government
you are dealing with, not your local witch doctor. I
would thank you to bear this in mind.
You still have not sent me your schedule of fees.
Instead of trying to railroad us I suggest you look to
your *own* modalities to see if this can be done soon.
|
| Dec 17 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Thanks for the notes.
I am not doubting your credibility or whether you
will live up to the billing, but that things should
be done in a timely manner, therefore i am arguing
that all modalities with Holland should be concluded
before this Xmas break so that i can be confident of
myself.
As for my schedule of fees, i wouldn't think that
will not be a problem as i trust things will be
amicably settled thereafter if your position, your
credibility and the people you represent is anything
to go by.But the very first thing is to have
modalities done with, then after which we talk of my
schedule of fees.
Finally, remember you have to contact Mr Christopher
Sillim to reschdeule appointment for early next week
as the initial one of wednesday could not hold for
obvious reasons.And again the security company might
go for Xmas break, so modalities should be hastened
up so that we are not caught up by the break. Trust
you understand
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
N/B
By the way how long does it take by sea, from london
to Holland?
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister,
Thank you for your note. I trust you are well? We have
taken a day off for the first time in many weeks to
relax at Barrymore's villa in Smegaroon.
I am currently typing this e-mail in the VIP room of
the Bowden Club, at my table a custard liqueur and a
plate of delicious savouries to nibble on. It is most
refreshing. What, may I ask, does a busy barrister do
to relax? Perhaps you take your wives to the local
goat market.
To business, then.
Very well. We shall hasten modalities, as you say. But
it would be very useful to know what your fees will
be, because Barrymore will need to obtain the money in
cash. Please try to let me know.
In terms of our journey time, we shall contact Captain
I. B. Stabbin (Ret'd), Her Majesty's most decorated
and experienced sailor. He will respond quickly,
though he can get behind matters at times.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Dec 20 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
I trust all is well.
I am expecting to hear from you the position of
things.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister William,
Thank you for your note.
We are awaiting clearance from Mr Cilly and then we
shall travel to Amsterdam.
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Thanks for your note.
How can you be waiting for Mr Sillim for clearance
while the first appointmenmt with them was last
week? and ever since that was botched have you
contacted him for another date of appointment? if
not please do so.
Without being immodest, i fell short of satisfaction
the slow pace of modalities and that keeps me
wondering if we will ever wrap things up before the
Xmas break. Remember, we have less than 3days left
to the break.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear George,
Now look here, old boy.
This is ridiculous. Nobody botched anything, and I
would appreciate it if you moderated your language.
This is not some shanty town shebeen dispute over
someone's wife!
These things cannot be rushed, but I am pleased to say
that we are now preparing to travel to Amsterdam.
Before we see Mr Cilly though, I suggest we meet at
the Krasnapolsky Hotel to discuss our strategy.
Finally, I really do need to know how much cash to
bring for your fees. Will €10,000 do?
|
| Dec 22 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
I am sorry, but when things are not going as
scheduled one will naturally feel bad. I have been
singing it like a song from the inception that we
need to wrap things up before the break but up till
now i am still not sure if we will ever meet that
target.
You talk of preparing to go to Amsterdam, when? how?
what mode of transport? it is by air or by sea? has
another appointment booked with the Security company
yet? have you people find out if the security
company will go for Xmas break? all these we have to
know first so that the schedule can be comprehended
with before departure. My representative have had
his flight schedule to Amsterdam cancelled many
times because of inadequate information about your
travel arrangements
My expenses is 15,000BPDS so get that together and
it has to be handed over to my delegate first upon
arrival to bring back to me.
Finally, i am still asking that you be precise and
ensure things are tidied up within the next few
hours, and again get intouch with Mr Sillim and ask
him to give you another appointment for today or
latest tomorrow to enable us meet with the remaining
hours.
Respectfully
Barr George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
Barrister George,
Thank you for your note.
I would suggest that you stop ordering your betters
around and listen. Do not - ever - tell me what to do.
I've dealt with far, far better than you, sir, and I
would remind you that it was you who approached us. We
are taking you at your word. You would do well to
remember that.
We have been kind and accomodating from day one with
you, George. Do not trifle with us.
As to your queries, we are leaving by air for
Amsterdam tomorrow. We have €15,000 in cash that will
be handed to your fellow once we have met and approved
him.
As soon as we have checked into a hotel, I will
contact you.
|
| Dec 24 |
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
Thanks for your mail of which the contents were
clearly understood.
My appologies for the tune i used which was as a
result of some delays from your side.I promise it
will not happen again so long as things work as
scheduled.
Anyway, it will be appropriate you inform Mr sillim
of your schedules and to request for an appointment
for the same tommorrow so that he could make a
special arragement for us tomorrow. Also let him
have your flight schedule to enable them pick you up
at the port of entry and to your Hotel.
My delegate will depart Liberia this night to arrive
Amsterdam tomorrow to meet with you. His Name is
Paul Martin, therefore it will also be proper you
forward your flight schedule and your hotel
reservation to me so that i can advise Paul Martin
to meet you straight to your hotel.
Oncemore, i am sorry for any wrong tunes i used,
which was never meant to offend you.Expecting your
answerback
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear William (if I may),
I am delighted to say that I am e-mailing you from
Amsterdam.
Is rather cold, isn't it?
Due to the obvious security considerations, we do not
tell anyone of our travel plans in advance. I suggest
you send Mr Martin to our hotel.
If this suits, please let me know and we can perhaps
arrange to meet in the next few days.
|
| Dec 26 |
| Williams George |
Thanks for your note.
Actually, you told me that your arrival would be
23rd dec and not 24th, so Martin had been in
Amsterdam since yesterday. He had been waiting for
me to give him information of your arrival and your
hotel so that he could come over and meet with
you.So Kindly give me the hotel name, telephone
number and address so i can forward it to him for
him to meet with you.Also write or call Mr Sillim
and arrange for the meeting for 27th Dec sine
tommorrow and 26th are work free day.
Compliments of the season.
Respectfully,
Barr George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
My dear Barrister,
Thank you for your note.
We would like to meet with you in private at our hotel
first, so we can discuss the conclusion to these
modalities.
Then we shall pop over to see your Silly chap.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| Williams George |
Dear Lady Agatha,
I am still waiting for you to respond to my last
email as my delegate is waiting for the information
to enable him meet with you in your hotel in
Amsterdam. Plesse respond
Respectfuly,
Barr George William
|
| Lady Agatha |
Dear William,
Please see my other email.
|
| Dec 27 |
| Williams George |
Good morning Lady Agatha,
I don't quite get you, but i thought i had already
asked you to give me the information (the address,
telephone number, the name and your room number) of
the hotel so that my Delegate can come and meet with
you before meeting with the officials of the
security company.As you already know, my Delegate,
Mr Martin has been in Amsterdam for the past days
waiting to see you. So let me have the hotel
information so i can send it to Mr Martin to meet
with you.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
|
Lady Agatha
|
My dear William,
Thank you for your note.
I am terribly sorry, old boy. But we trust you like
One of Us. We do not care to deal with Mr Martin, as
he has not signed an Oath of Allegiance - in fact we
do not know him at all.
For this inconvenience I am prepared to offer you
€20,000.
|
| Dec 29 |
| Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
|
Dear Lady Agatha,
I am not sure we ever agreed that i would come
personally otherwise i wouldn't have bothered
sending any body, We all accepted that my delegate
would be OK and you never said you would not deal
with any other person from my side except me, so i
wonder why this sudden change. Do you mean that that
young man will just take this risk particularly this
festive period and the whole hussle of trying to get
ticket inspite of all the rush for nothing? Too bad.
However, let me try if i can get seat with the next
available flight to Amsterdam from Monrovia.
Meanwhile, let me have the hotel onformation and
your room number and the telephone number so that i
am able to get seat i will fly in and when i arrive
i can locate you without going through another
stress.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
|
|
Lady Agatha
|
My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
I do apologise for any problems caused. But we are
carrying €20,000 in cash which is all for you. We will
reimburse you for a first-class ticket from your
little country to Amsterdam.
Surely, as a man of the law, you appreciate that the
fewer people in the chain of modalities the better.
Confidentiality is the key, and we respect you for
sticking to it.
You will get your just reward for this.
We are staying in the Kraznapolsky Hotel in the centre
of Amsterdam.
We look forward to meeting you.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
|
| January 10, 2006 |
| Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
|
Dear Lady Agatha,
This is to inform you that i have been trying hard
to get ticket to Amsterdam but unfortunately i have
not suceeded for the simply reason that i at the
moment, don't have enough cash. Ofcourse you know
all my little savings i used to prosecute the
transaction up to this final level. You know i had
to get the papers (2times) in your favour and you
also knew what went in(money).So now i am broke.
Therefore, what i suggest is you send me 5000pounds
from the money for me to take care of my trip to
meet you up there.So pls consider this .
Respectfully,
Barr George William
|
|
Lady Agatha
|
Dear Barrister William,
Thank you for your note.
Whilst I appreciate your situation, how can we send
you £5,000 'from the money' when we have not had a
penny yet?
I would therefore respectfully suggest that you put
the air fare on your credit card and we shall
re-imburse you from the millions of dollars we shall
soon have.
Do hurry old boy. It's rather cold.
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Lady Agatha
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Dear Barrister William,
That we have not heard from you is bitterly
disappointing. It is a great shame that modalities
have not been completed and we have decided to return
to London.
You are hereby released from the terms of your Oath of
Allegiance.
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
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| Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
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Dear Lady Agatha,
Thanks for your note.
One thing is very clear in this instance.You never
showed the sincerity and committment since
inception.You can agree with me that all protocols
that needed to observed from my side were duly
adhered to but you never did. First of all, to show
how sincere i am, i had to send you my ID, but when
i requested yours you did not respond.Then when it
got to the real business proper, i did everything
that was necessary, even spending my whole money
without bothering you to assist me financially just
to prove my committment and sincerity.When it was
time to meet in Amsterdam to conclude modalities i
spelt it out that my delegate would be working with
you and you accepted, and to my amazement after
having spent money to prosecute his travel
arrangement and sent him to Holand to meet with you,
and what did i hear after almost one week of his
arrival you later claimed you were in Amsterdam but
refused him seeing you, which you later said you did
not want work with him any longer and requested me
to come personaly, which i also agreed but that you
have to assist me with Transport fare since i have
no other money at the moment, and what did i get at
the end, your last email. You said you were in a
hotel in Amsterdam that i should come, then i asked
you to provide the hotel room number where you were
lodging you declined, i also requested you give me
the telephone number of the hotel so i can call you
and you also declined. My question is how was i
supposed to connect you upon arrival?
Finaly, having recounted the above where will the
BLAME go to? your side or my side?
Pls respond to this before i give you my last word.
Compliment of the season
Barr. George William
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Lady Agatha
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Dear George,
Thank you for your e-mail.
I cannot see for the life of me where these frankly
rather bizarre ideas have come from. Have you been
drinking?
You approached us with an unsolicited offer. We were
happy to assist you, as we knew what we were dealing
with from the outset of these modalities.
As an intelligent man of the law, you certainly seemed
to understand that as an ultra-secret, unofficial
government agency, sending out IDs is totally out of
the question.
Crumbley guided you through the various documentary
requirements (even when we had severe trouble opening
your attachments), this despite a fire in the server
department of the Royal Custard Rooms. I seem to
remember Crumbley also correcting one or two mistakes
in your documents. Michael Barrymore, Her Majesty's
legal and financial adviser even provided his time to
assist you.
We then travelled to Amsterdam in good faith,
Barrister William, offering you an extra €5,000 on top
of your fee of €15,000 for what seems like an hour's
work. We should be happy to travel back, if you meet
our one and only small condition; that we meet you at
our hotel - the Kraznapolsky, in the Centrum district
of the city. As a security measure we shall be using
pseudonyms.
Please do get back to me urgently.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
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| Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
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Dear Lady Agatha,
Your last email refers.
But my question is, how am i supposed to find my
way to Amsterdam since i don't have money to buy
ticket at the moment?
Barr George William
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Lady Agatha
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My dear George,
Thank you for your note.
Simple, old boy. Put the cost of the ticket on your
credit card, and we will re-imburse you. Then you will
be able to pay the full balance well before your
statement arrives, even given the rather basic nature
of postal communications out there.
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Lady Agatha
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My dear Barrister,
That you have not replied has convinced me - finally -
that you were never serious in these endeavours.
We now formally sever ties with you. A shame that we
could not complete these risk-free modalities but
that, as they say is life.
Fear not, however, as we have your details and we
will, in some guise or another I'm sure, ensure you
get what we affectionately call your just desserts.
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| Williams George
barr_geo_william@ny.com
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Dear Lady Agatha,
Thanks for your note.
It seems you find it difficult to comprehend me, i
still refer you back to my last email, which i am
sure you have to not adressed.Only then will i tell
you my mind and my resolve, for you should know i am
trying to work something out.
Respectfully,
Barr. George William
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Lady Agatha
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My dear George,
Thank you for your email.
We understand you perfectly, if I may, old boy. We
understood what you were about from the moment your
initial e-mail was passed to me by Intelligence.
In the spirit of goodwill, we might be prepared to
give you a second chance.
As for my other email, I suggested you buy a ticket
from Monrovia to Amsterdam using your credit card and
we will re-imburse you when the money is released by
your Silli chap.
As ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
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