james zuma <jameszuma_15@hotmail.com>
From Mr. JAMES ZUMA
REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA
JOHANNESBURG
Tel: +27-82-97-67-974
Attn: Managing Director
YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE / SUPPORT IS SINCERELY NEEDED
May God bless and be with you as you receive and go through this message. Thank you for the positive response that I am expecting from you. I got your contact information when I was on a private research going through some business directory / pamphlets and the internet, looking for a reliable, trusted and capable person out side Africa who can assist me and family in resolving our present situation.
[blah blah]
I am Mr.james zuma the son of late Mr. Jeromi zuma from Zimbabwe. My father was a very big tobacco farmer in Zimbabwe. He was shut several times by some gunmen during the land dispute in Zimbabwe between President Robert Mugabe and the white farmers. The white farmers was been humiliated by president Mugabe, in which he took their lands and handed over to his supporting citizens. My father was among the black farmers who never support MugabeÕs act by humiliating their co-farmers. Because of this, Mugabe sent his gunmen to go after the black farmers who are not in his support, this lead to the killing of some white farmers and black farmers. My father was shot several times and he was rushed to the hospital where he spent Five (5) months before he died.
[That's Five (5) months]
My reason of writing you for assistance is to help us in the transfer of eigth millon United States Dollars (US$8,000,000.00) to your account in your country. My father wanted to use this money for buying farm equipment and fertilizer.
[etc. etc. That's a lot of fertilizer]
Presently, I am residing in South Africa as a refugee (Asylum Seeker) where we deposited the money with a private security and financial company
[ya ya]
Endeavour to send your private phone and fax numbers for more verbal clarification and easy communication.
[And simpler talk too]
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL:
Date: Thu Sep 4, 2003 4:48:59 AM US/Pacific
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your email. I am not sure how you have managed it but I am Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE, Head of Special Operations at Her Majesty's Foreign Office.
How may we be of assistance?
Yours sincerely,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
JAMES ZUMA:
ATTN: LADY AGATHA BRISTOL.
Dear madam, Thank you for your quick respons to my problem .i have been praying to God to assit me find somebody very reliable that will help me and my family through this difficut time . The fund in question is with the security company ,i will need you to provide me with a secured bank account were this fund will be transferd into without problem. i would also need you to keep this transaction to yourself ,my family and i are keeping a low proflie for now untill this fund is sucessfully been transferd .This is inview of the facts that the south african govt. are in surport of the govt.in zimbawe. i have to arrange a meeting with my financial adviser on the next step . hope to hear from you soon.
best regards
james zuma
Date: Fri Sep 5, 2003 8:24:58 AM US/Pacific
LADY AGATHA:
Dear Mr. Zuma, Thank you for your note. Her Majesty has expressed a mild interest but will need further proof of your genuine intentions.
Can you provide this?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
JAMES ZUMA:
Dear madam, compliment of the day,i would be glad to forward any proof that you required. what proof should i forward to you .
best regards
james zuma
LADY AGATHA:
Dear Mr. Zuma, Thank you for your note. When the Royal Household enters into any kind of business transaction we require our suppliers to take the Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty.
This would ensure that you are of good character and standing. Are you prepared to take the Oath?
JAMES ZUMA:
Dear madam, Thank you for your mail .i am prepard to go into any favourable agreement to insure a smooth transfer of this fund .i am doing this for my family,we have surferred somuch we need help. thanks for your understanding.
regards, james zuma
Date: Mon Sep 8, 2003 5:49:47 AM US/Pacific
LADY AGATHA:
Dear Mr. Zuma, This is splendid news. We require you to type the following text on a piece of headed notepaper: (your address or place of employment are acceptable):
'I, James Zuma, do by humble merkin, swear total allegiance in all fey twiglets to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in all matters pertaining to Her Right Royal Business.'
Please sign the Oath, then scan your passport and email it to us along with the text. Agent Lonslo Tossov, our Head of PR and International Diplomacy, will then perform routine security checks on the document. But please don't worry, I am convinced that you are of sound character for us to continue this transaction. The entire Special Operations Department will see that you get exactly what you deserve.
God help you.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
JAMES ZUMA:
ATTN: LADY AGATHA BRISTOL
Dear madam, l do hereby foward the documents you requested from me . l would also appricate you sending to me same ,this will enable me know whom am dealing with.
l would have sent this document early today but l was caught up in a meeting with my financial adviser. l would also appricate you to reduce the number of people that are aware of this transaction.
l could not produce my international passport because l dont have it ,we had to leave zimbabwe at the hit of things overthere.this the only document l have for now. thanks for your understanding.
Regards
James Zuma
Date: Wed Sep 10, 2003 4:01:08 AM US/Pacific
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma, This is excellent. We shall perform the necessary security checks, and will contact you when they have been completed.
JAMES ZUMA:
DEAR MADAM, WHEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO FOWARD TO ME COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT.
BEST REGARDS
JAMES ZUMA
Date: Thu Sep 11, 2003 8:23:49 AM US/Pacific
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma, I'm afraid that sending a copy of my passport is out of the question due to security concerns. Do you know who I am? However, I will give you the passport number, if that is acceptable.
JAMES ZUMA:
Dear madam, i would wish you to foward your scan picture and your passport number will be o.k
Date: Fri Sep 12, 2003 2:18:29 AM US/Pacific
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma, My passport number is 55541966.
I cannot send you my picture due to security concerns. I am in charge of all types of espionage and other operations to protect Her Majesty's Government's interests all over the world.
JAMES ZUMA:
Dear madam,
when am i going to hear from you.
Date: Tue Sep 16, 2003 3:13:30 AM US/Pacific
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
I do hope that we have not been remiss. I have sent you the details you require, have I not? My assistants, Agent Miracsky and Agent Glassov Vimto have assured me we are on track with this transaction.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
[And now it resumes - but James has become Frank. Or we have become senile. Well it's all the same in the end.]
ZUMA:
- frank zuma frankzuma20032004@yahoo.ca:
Dear agatha bristol ,
Thank you very much for your mail sent to me in respect of the transfer that I made known to you.
Actually, I would be please to talk with you over the phone concerning the things you need to do in other to help us out of this transaction, and also our lawyer would like to have a word with you to proceed with this transfer into your account overseas.
Please indicate to me your private telephone and fax numbers including mobile where i can get hold of you immediately i call.
Thanks and BE BLESSED.
Best regards,
MR. FRANK ZUMA.
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note.
We are delighted with your progress so far.
However, in order to further this transaction, we require you to swear a temporary Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.
Are you prepared to do this?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
Dear agatha bristol,
Thank you for your mail after recieved it i am so much imprest about what you maintiond in this case i will like to know how every thing is going to take place.
Once more i will like you to furnish me with your numbers includ mobile,fax,or telex where my lawyer will contact you in other to know how the oath is going to Be,
I Await your reply,
best regard,
Mr FRANK ZUMA.
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note.
Please be aware that the correct form of address is Lady Agatha.
We would be delighted to pass on any details you require but we do request that you sign a temporary Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Are you prepared to do this?
Yours,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
From: Mr. Frank Zuma.
Tel: + 27-73-363-1599
Attn: Lady Agatha,
Thank you very much for your urgent reply after receiving my email concerning the transfer we made known to you. I once again thank you for your Willingness and acceptance in helping us out of this Situation that will be of a good benefit between every One involve in this transaction.
In this case I accept what you said in other to take an oat for her majesty I will also want to know were and how the oat is going to take place who will prepare The oat so that I will detail my lawyer how everything is going to be or take place.
Finally, I would like you to call me today or tomorrow as soon as you receive this email so that we can finalize every thing over the telephone, and also for me to know when every thing is going to be ready. We need your action in this transaction because we have no time to waste due to the time frame. We would be happy to receive the confirmation of taking oat in reply of this email. Please proceed with this procedure, because we find out that it will be the easiest and the safer way to conclude this transaction.
Thanks and BE BLESSED.
Best regards,
MR. FRANK ZUMA.
LADY AGATHA:
Dear Frank (if I may),
Thank you for your missive.
We are thrilled that you wish to take a temporary Oath of Allegiance.
Please scan your passport photo onto a sheet of headed paper and add the following text:
'I, Frank Zuma, being of sound mind and body do by humble merkin swear by the law of the Bowden Statute to assist the Royal Family in the most discombobulated manner possible.'
Please sign it and send the completed Oath back to me.
With all good wishes.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
FROM: FRANK ZUMA
TEL: 27+733631599
DEAR LADY AGATTA
I FRANK ZUMA IS SORRY FOR LATE REPLY IN YOUR MAIL I HARD WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT PASSPORT I WILL LIKE YOU TO NOTE DOWN THAT I AM SEEKING ASYLUM HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA SO AS AN ASYLUM SEEKER MY PASSPORT IS NOW IN THE CUSTUDY OF THE SOUTH AFRICAN HOME AFAIRS SO I WILL LIKE TO ASK YOU IF I CAN SCAN MY REFUGEE PERMIT TO YOU IN OTHER FOR US TO HAVE THINGS MOVING TO ALLOW US CONCLUDE THE TRANSFER WITHOUT NO DELAY.
PLEASE TRY TO DETAIL ME ANY NESASARY THING ABOUT THE OATH SO THAT ON MY NEXT MAIL I WILL SCAN TO YOU ANY THING NEEDED THROUG MAIL.
BYE AND I AWAIT YOUR MAIL.
BEST REGARD,
FRANK ZUMA.
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
We are delighted you have resumed correspondence with us. Fortunately, your note has arrived in good time, as Chief Um Bongo from Skull Island has contacted us with a similar scheme. Do you know him?
Your refugee permit will suffice. Please type the following text, and scan in your permit, sign the document and send it to me. Here is the text:
'I, Frank Zuma, being of sound mind and body, do by humble merkin swear in the mostdiscombobulated manner and in all fey twiglets to assist the Royal Family in pursuit of their right royal business.'
Do hurry - we have money to invest and the Custard Rooms need re-decorating.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
[Dear reader, keep in mind that "Frank" is probably sitting in a warehouse in Amsterdam, looking forward to his curry.]
ZUMA:
From: Mr. Frank Zuma.
Tel: + 27-73-363-1599
DEAR LADY AGATTA
I have already prepare the documents in other for me to scan it for you as you say,
But my lawyer made me to know that before I will scan the permit or documents to you he will like to speak with you over the phone so in this case I will like you to furnish me with your phone numbers so that I will forward it to my lawyer to enable him to talk to you on phone or you can call me on the above number for More clarification.
Thanks and BE BLESSED.
Best regards,
Mr. Frank Zuma.
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
But of course, my dear fellow.
Send me the completed Oath, and we will furnish you with our telephone numbers.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
From: Mr. Frank Zuma.
Tel: + 27-73-363-1599
DEAR LADY AGATTA
I have already prepare the documents in other for me to scan it for you as you say,
But my lawyer made me to know that before I will scan the permit or documents to you he will like to speak with you over the phone so in this case I will like you to furnish me with your phone numbers so that I will forward it to my lawyer to enable him to talk to you on phone or you can call me on the above number for More clarification.
Thanks and BE BLESSED.
Best regards,
Mr. Frank Zuma.
[No we don't know why he wrote that again.]
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
What a surprise, old chap! We thought that you had disappeared, or worse, became a ritual sacrifice for your village elders.
As far as we can tell, we are awaiting your completed Oath of Allegiance.
Please send it as soon as possible - Chief Um Bongo from Skull Island (do you know him?) has contacted us already.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
Dear Agatha Bristol
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail to me, the content was well understood.
Again i want to let you know that I was in hospital for three weeks now and i will be discharges on Sunday and i will send all my particulars to you ok!
Thanks and God bless you.
Frank Zuma.
(For The Family)
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
Please note that Lady Agatha is the correct form of address.
We look forward to receiving your details. Hurry along, old chap. Chief Um Bongo from Skull Island (do you know him?) has contacted us with a similar scheme.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
--- frank zuma <frankzuma20032004@yahoo.ca>:
Dear Agatha,
On the responds to your mail, first IÕm very sorry of
sending my identity so late to you as you requested, the reason is due to some circumstances beyond my control regarding to my status asylum seeker but i thank God that everything is fair now.
I am hereby attaching my refugee identity as you requested also 'I, Frank Zuma, being of sound mind
and
body do by humble merkin swear by the law of the
Bowden Statute to assist the Royal Family in the
most
discombobulated manner possible.'
From Frank Zuma
(For the family)
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 26 Mar 2004, 05:55:30 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note.
I shall, on this occassion, allow you to proceed with this transaction, as your Oath is not exactly what is required.
We are happy to progress. Please let us know the next step. And do hurry along, old chap. Chief Um Bongo from Skull Island and myself have just enjoyed telephonic discourse.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
Tel:27+72-496-00-99,
Dear lady agatha ,
Thank you very much for your mail sent to me in respect of the transfer that I made known to you.
Actually, I would be please to talk with you over
the
phone concerning the things you need to do in other
to
help us out of this transaction, and also our lawyer
would like to have a word with you to proceed with
this transfer into your account overseas.
Please indicate to me your private telephone and fax numbers including mobile where i can get hold of you immediately i call.
Thanks and BE BLESSED.
Best regards,
MR. FRANK ZUMA.
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 28 Mar 2004, 10:38:26 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note. I am delighted that you have contacted us once again.
I trust you are well; we are rather busy over here as Princess Candy had to see Dr. Harold Shipman, the Royal Physician, after she slipped whilst roller-blading in Bollockshire Gardens.
We have tried to contact you but the number is constantly engaged. Whether this down to your rather rustic telephone system or not one cannot be sure but I would appreciate it if you see to this problem.
ZUMA:
Tel: 27+72-496-00-99
Dear lady aggata
Like you said that my phone is Constantly engaged I will like you to furnish me your phone number like I ask before so that i can be able to call you in other for me to tell you what to do for you to help me out in this transaction.
Waiting to here from you soon.
From frank zuma
(For the family)
LADY AGATHA:
29 Mar 2004, 06:29:53 AM
My dear Zuma,
It is rather concerning that your telephone doesn't work. How are we to approach this transaction in a professional manner if we cannot contact you?
I suggest you get it repaired, old chap.
Our office number, however, is: 00 44 906 224 4455.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
tel:27+73 363 1599
dear lady agatta
thanks for your mail i well recieve it and
understand
like you said befor that you call me but can not get
me
on phone in this case i will like you to try my
number
again or you send to me your private number where i
can get hold of you both your area code country code
so that i can be able to speak to you inother for me
to explain to you how you will help me out in this
transaction that i made known to you thanks.
frank zuma
for the family
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 01 Apr 2004, 01:15:03 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note. As always, it is a pleasure to hear from you.
I believe I sent you my number in my last missive. Please do try to keep up, old chap. Chief Um Bongo from Skull Island is calling me every day, professionally updating me on current developments.
And do try to spell my name correctly!
A COMMENTATOR IN SOUTH AFRICA:
hi guys,
I loved reading Lady Agatha's latest saga with "Zuma".
As it happens, I live in South Africa, the country "Zuma" claims he is in. Interesting to see the refugee permit he sent in. We have a huge problem with people coming from Zimbabwe (which borders us to the North) in droves because of the growing poverty and civil unrest due to their President Mugabe. Most immigrants are illegal and get shipped back by the thousand every day, but some also get refugee permits.
It's very common for them not to have passports. In fact many deliberately don't carry passports if they're here illegally as it would identify them as a foreigner.
"Zuma" is a very common surname in this region, much like "Smith" would be to us English speakers.
The permit document is a genuine Dept of Home Affairs permit form, but it looks very much like his "details" have been cut and pasted onto what is probably a copy of someone else's permit.
The telephone number and address on the form are genuine! I'm not saying they are his, because I don't know and am not about to try find out, but the format of the number's area code is consistent with mobile phone numbers for the mobile phone company Vodacom. Rivonia Road is a major road in a very expensive district in Sandton, it's an equivalent of having an address on one of the roads bordering Hyde Park in London.
So it's quite possible that this chap really is in South Africa, though I'd be surprised if he was actually in Rivonia Road. Apart from Zimbabweans, we have a huge community of Nigerians, some of whom are running their 419 scams from here - our local police are quite involved in chasing down these people. But it's not only the Nigerians, other locals have also been known to try their luck having learnt from the Nigerians.
So "Zuma" may well be Zimbabwean or Nigerian, or even South African, and may be here or may be in Nigeria but with good knowledge of South Africa.
Just thought you'd like to know for interest's sake!
cheers,
A Kindly Commentator
ZUMA:
<frankzuma20032004@yahoo.ca>
Dear Lady Agatha
How are you and how about her majesty I hope all is well with you people over there.
Please I am sorry for late reply the reason is that my mother was in the hospital since last two weeks and I am the one taking care of her in the hospital.
Please Lady Agatha I will like to ask for a favor from her majesty if you people can help me send some amount of money to me through money gram to enable me pay for my mothers hospital bill you know we are seeking asylum here in south Africa because of that we donÕt have any money at hand.
The problem is that this money about to transfer is still under a private security company here in south Africa where my late father deposited it as family treasure before his death so now is for me to go and ask the security company how mush demurrage we have to balance them in other for us to withdraw the money from security company and transfer it into the account you will provide for us then me and my mother will come over to invest the money with your professional advice.
I called you on your office number you gave to me but is not correct so please correct it for me on your next mail and try to notify me if you will send the money to me to enable me discharge my mother from the hospital and also buy some medicine for her.
Thanks and be bless,
Best regard,
Frank zuma
(For the family)
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 21 Apr 2004, 01:38:19 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note. Please do try to respond quicker next time. We are now in advanced negotiations with Chief Um Bongo from Skull Island.
We'd like to help you, old thing. But it seems like our hands are tied.
Please advise us, there's a good chap.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
Dear lady agatha
Please I will like to tell you that I donÕt understand what you mean at all so please notify me what you mean on your next mail and try to tell me if you will send the money to me or not to enable be pay my mothers hospital bill before we continue with this transaction.
Frank zuma
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 26 Apr 2004, 01:36:47 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note.
I am terribly sorry about your predicament, old chap. But we cannot pay shanty town hospital bills for everyone. If we pay for you, where will it all end?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
dear lady aggatta
please i will like to know if you will send the
money
for me or not because you will get your money back
after the transaction to avoid the death of my
mother
in the hospital.
bye,
frank zuma
(for the family)
LADY AGATHA:
28 Apr 2004, 02:10:08 PM
My dear Zuma,
This really is intolerable.
I am sure the hospital will do all they can for your mother. If they require guarantees, feel free to give my name.
We did used to own Africa, you know. Please give them these details:
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations
Foreign Office
London FU2 G1T
Now for goodness sake, old chap, we wish your mother well but we must focus on the business at hand.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
04 05 04
dear LADY AGATTA
HOW ARE YOU TODAY,IN RESPECT I AM VERY SORRY FOR I DID NOT CONTACT YOU SINCE BECAUSE OF SOME REASONS,SO NOW I WISH TO TELL YOU THAT MY MOTHER HAVE RECOVERED FROM SICKNESS.
AND AGAIN I TRY TO REACH YOU ON PHONE BUT THE TELLPHONE NUMBER WHICH YOU GAVE IS NOT WORKING,SO PLEASE RESEND YOUR TELEPHONE AND YOUR FAX NUMBER TO ME FOR EASY COMINICATION,BECAUSE MY ATTORNY WANT TO CALL YOU AND EXPLAIN TO YOU MORE ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION.
MORE SO I WANT YOU TO FORWARD ALL YOUR INFORMATION TO ME,INCLUDING YOUR BANK DETAILS BECAUSE WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE.PLEASE YOU SHOULD BEAR IN MIND THAT YOUR PRESENT NEEDED HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO SIGN SOME AGREMENT AS A BENEFICIARY OF THIS FUND ANDCHENGE OF OWER SHIP.
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.
HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU QUICK.
FROM FRANK ZUMA
(FOR THE FAMILY)
ZUMA:
Dear LADY AGATTA,
Greetings and how are you today? Having read your mail I decided to write to you on my motherÕs behalf, so as to tell you that, everything as regards to your hotel reservation will be in place before your arrival, because our family lawyer promised to do that by himself and get it ready soonest.
Beside, these are the required details we need to procure the hotel booking for you, and they will be also important in raising some official documentation before your arrival.
1.Your full names as they appeared on your international passport.
2.Copies of your international Passport, or the important details.
3.Your organization/ company name
4.Your telephone and fax numbers, and that of your companyÕs
5.Your physical address
6.Your flight schedule/ date of your arrival to South
Africa, or copy of your flight ticket.
Please send the above details as soon as you get this mail, for us to make everything as quickly as possible.
Meanwhile, my mother is happy to hear that you will be visiting us in the nearest future and we all are praying for your safe arrival into south Africa.
More Details will be brought to you in the shortest possible time.
Thanks and God blessed
Frank Zuma
For The Family
LADY AGATHA:
07 May 2004, 04:46:46 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you for your note. I am delighted to be able to answer your questions:
i) Lady Agatha Harriet Bristol, CBE
ii) We cannot release our passport details under any circumstances due to security concerns.
iii) The Special Operations Department, 221b Baker Street, London FU2 G1T
iv) 00 44 69 69 419
v) Physical address? As oppossed to what, old thing?
vi) We can arrive in South Africa within 24 hours. The Royal Flight is prepared and ready.
I do hope this is useful. I shall be at Annie's Bar tonight for sherry with Her Majesty, and I shall pass on your good wishes.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
Its encouraging that some things never change in this world...
AND PICKING UP ON MAY 11:
ZUMA:
<frank_zumaa3@yahoo.com>
Dear
Agatha Bristol,
Thanks for your mail, anyway I have tried to reach you on this number 00 44 69 69 419, but the international network is saying that it is incomplete, also I discovered from the directory that the number in is deficiency of two number, so I was a kind of worried, because how can you just give us in correct number.
We trust you and rely our hope on you, but this gives us a kind of divided trust on your sincerity Anyway, lets take it as a mistake. Now we want you to be specific about the day you will arrive here. Please send the flight ticket copy, flight schedule, your fax numbers, and even copy of passport. We promised to keep them confidential for you. Give us the trust and nothing will happen to you, I trust myself and thereby trust you as well, but you insisted that, you will not send it now, just give the other details, lets see if we can get the hotel reservation with them.
Your urgent response will be highly appreciated.
Thanks.
Frank Zuma
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
I am terribly sorry for the error. Agent Ilichy Miracsky was responsible for the erroneous telephone numbers.
In terms of travelling to the Colonies, I note that you would like our passports and journey details. This, I am afraid, is out of the question due to security risks.
You must remember that I am a high-ranking member of Her Majesty's Government, and my officials' details cannot be exposed.
However, we are more than happy to meet you at your convenience.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
Dear
Agatha
Having read your mail this morining, I could understand the reason why you are so strict in releasing your details, so I have taken it the way it is. Beside, I will like you to come over here by Thursday or Friday this week, but the issue is how we can identify you when you comes here.
On this admiration, I will want you to either send me your recent picture photohgraph, and flight schedule/ticket, and your full names. Also correct your telephone number and fax numbers, because i expected that you will correct it now, but you haven't rather you stated that the mistake is not delibrate.
I accepted everything you said, but try to understand pur feelings from you. I expect your confirmation about the day you will arrive here, Friday or Thursday.
Thanks for your quick response.
Frank Zuma
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 11 May 2004, 01:37:11 AM
My dear Frank (if I may),
Thank you for your note.
As always, it is a pleasure to hear from you. We are delighted with you progress so far and look forward to a speedy conclusion to this transaction.
I should think that Friday will be optimum. Here are details of the Royal party:
Agent Lonslo Tossov, Special Operations
Agent Ilichy Miracshy, Special Operations
Myself, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE, Special Operations
Michael Montague Barrymore, Her Majesty's Solicitor
HRH Princess Margaret
Princess Candice Mercerdes Windsor
Prince Darren Shane Windsor
Sir Bendit Beckham, Her Majesty's Adviser
Lord Basil Fawlty, Permanent Secretary, Foreign Office
Charles Farnes-Barnes, CEO, Bowden Custard Company
Earl Richard Bowden, OBE, Her Majesty's Councillor
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns, Her Majesty's Equirry
Professor Arch Stanton III, FASD, Her Majesty's Dentist
Dr. Harold Shipman, Royal Physician
Duke Ronald Kray, Head of Royal Security
Sir Reginald Kray, Deputy Head of Security
Edward (Ted) Bundy, Media Liaison
Dennis Nielsen, Deputy Media Liaison
Jeffery Dahmer, Royal Cook
Sir Hannibal Lecter, Deputy Royal Cook
Peter Sutcliffe, DFC, DSO, Royal Pilot
Sir Elton John, Her Majesty's favourite musician
I trust this is acceptable. We look forward to meeting you in South Africa. But do be subtle, old chap. No native costumes, I'm afraid.
Would Cape Town be adequate? What lodgings have you arranged? The Prince and Princesses must have freshly-cut flowers and fruit in their rooms.
A bottle of gin (Bombay Sapphire) for Agent Miracsky would be appreciated.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
ZUMA:
<frank_zumaa3@yahoo.com>
Hello Agatha Bristol,
Really I don't understand what you are saying, all these people whom you listed here, are irrerevant to this, but I will tell my lawyer Barrister Mr. Ernest Mandela, the cousine of Nelson Mandela. Although he has book for a place for you in SUN CITY, but now I don't know whether, we will still use that place, because it will be costly for us. Anyway, I will presurrise him, so see whether he will book for a nice duplex within the SUN CITY Hotel, because of the prominent men and women who will come with you. Also, I will like him to come with his Elbest cousine Dr. Nelson Mandela, so that you can see him in person.
We are gald for coming into contact with you and your majesty. Remember my late father, was a family friend to Mandela's family, so if they heared that you people will be coming here, He Nelson Mandela will like to come and welcome you.
Remember, you will arrive here in Johannesburg, then we take a private Jet to SUN CITY. God will bless your coming to South Africa, and I will like to go with you as soon as you arrive here.
I wait for your confrmation and your arrival.
Thanks.
Frank Zuma
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 12 May 2004, 04:21:23 AM
My dear Zuma,
Thank you so much for your note.
We are thrilled and delighted that you are able to accomodate the Royal Party. I have tried to keep the numbers to a minimum but one can never be sure how things will develop in the Colonies.
Of course, I have met Nelson several times and have found him to be excellent company. We are looking forward to seeing him again. Did you know that he plays a mean game of whist?
We are making final preparations for our trip. We have a special payment of $50,000 as a goodwill gesture which we hope you will find useful.
South Africa is rather a dangerous place, however, and with your permission, Special Operations personnel will have access to the following munitions:
Walther PPK pistols (6)
Desert Eagle pistols (6)
Remington 12-gauge pump-action shotguns (6)
Uzi 9mm submachine gun (6)
MP5 machine pistol (12)
Stinger anti-personnel rocket launcher (2)
We look forward to seeing you on Friday.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
LADY AGATHA:
My dear Zuma,
We are now in South Africa.
Do you wish us to forward our accomodation details to you?
ZUMA:
Subject: You people are secured in as much as I'm concerned.
Hello Agatha
It is quite unfortunate that, Nelson Mandela, will not welcome you here today because the report I got from my advocate is that he will come back from zurich on Sunday, because he accompanied their 2010 World cup bid team to Zurich. On that admiration, he will be able to see your people on Monday. I'm optmistic because my advocate gave me an assurance that he will convince his cousine to come and see you people.
Beside, those ammunitions which you mentioned and only for land use, we will use special jet fighter to guide, and propel grannade, from a apecial security company by name De Guard Security Company. I have booked the bullet proof jerseys for you people, so that, none of your hairs will drop in South Africa. Remember, ths money is still under the custody of De Guard Security Company. So on your arrival, we will go there and get it cleared under special care, with heir bullion Van.
Please tell me the time you people will arrive here. for us to be waiting for your arrival.
Thanks.
Frank Zuma
LADY AGATHA:
Date: 14 May 2004, 03:41:51 AM
My dear Zuma,
We are very much looking forward to seeing you. But we don't know where you are.
Perhaps you could meet us. We are in Sun City, as discussed. Here are our details:
Sun City Cascades Hotel
Sun City Resort
0316 Sun City
South Africa
We are in the Executive Floor. When would be the optimum time to meet?
I also detect a note of amusement in your e-mail. I do hope that you are serious in this endeavour.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
more to come?