MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
[The following had many more words and gratuitously inserted line breaks but we thought, why make you suffer for it?]COMPLIMENTS,
WE ARE SENDING THIS LETTER TO YOU BASED ON INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE FOREIGN TRADE OFFICE BLAH BLAH HELP US IN OUR BID TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF ... WOWEE ($41.5M) INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT.
WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE SPECIAL COMMITTEE FOR BUDGET AND PLANNING OF THE MINISTRY OF PETROLEUM, YUP UH HUH
WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU, IS TO PROVIDE A SAFE ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERRED ETC ETC OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WILL BE COMPENSATED WITHUS$8.3 MILLION OF THE REMITTED FUNDS. WE KEEP US$31.125 MILLION YAH YAH
IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT TWO YEARS AGO A SIMILAR TRANSACTION WAS CARRIED OUT WITH ONE MR. PATRICE MILLER, THE PRESIDENT OF CRAINE INTERNATIONAL TRADING CORPORATION ... BLAH BLAH BLAH IF YOU'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK ONCE OR TWICE YOU KNOW THIS PART ...THAT IS HOW WE LOST US$27.5M TO MR. PATRICE MILLER.
PATATI PATATA SO IF YOU CAN PROVE TO YOURSELF TO BE TRUSTED AND SO ON WHAT WE WANT FROM YOU IS THE ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL LET US HAVE OUR SHARE WHEN THIS AMOUNT OF US$41.5M IS TRANFERED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.
BLAH BLAH MODALITIES BLAH BLAH 100% SAFE. PLEASE TREAT AS URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL. GOD BE WITH YOU.
ALRIGHTY THEN
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MR MARTINS SABASTINE
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 27 Jun 2003, 09:47:31 AMDear Sir,
I am not sure from where you obtained my email address from but my name is Lady Agatha Bristol, and I am Head of Special Operations of Her Majesty's Government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Her Majesty has instructed me to inform you that We are interested in your proposal. Kindly send me more details forthwith.
Yours ever
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Agatha BristolYour mail has been received and content well understood, your reputation is not to be questioned with your position in Her Majesty's office.
Like I rightly stated in my previous mail, this transaction is 100% risk free, so long as you are reliable and trustworthy. Which I am convienced. Right now I would like to have your telephone, mobile and fax numbers where I can reach you directly for oral discussion.
Moreover, we will require some informations like your company's name and mailing address to enable our lawyer to incorporate your company in Nigeria and also apply for the release of the funds into your nominated bank account, this is to ensure smooth transaction. Note that all the documentation will be handled by the same attorney on your behalf. Please bear in mind that this transaction needs confidentiality, so I will advise you keep this to yourself until the fund is confirmed in your account.
You can reach via phone number 234-1-7762712.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 30 Jun 2003, 08:45:46 AMDear Sir,
May I remind you that the correct form of address is Lady Agatha.
We are delighted that you are in tune with the full ramifications of this transaction.
Our address:
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations
Foreign Office
221b Baker Street
London NW1 FU2
My private office line is 00 44 906 445 2100.
Before we proceed any further, we will need you to sign the Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Are you prepared to do this? It is a pre-requisite for any Royal business.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
[ScamO Note: curious about the telephone number, we inquired of her Ladyship: Is that MI 5 perhaps? Or your favorite pub? ]LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
My dear Scamorama,I do not frequent public houses. Indeed, when I do have time to relax I take a sherry with Agent Miracsky at Annie's Bar in the House of Commons with Sir Rolf Harris, Her Majesty's Foreign Minister.
The telephone number to which you refer is a premium rate line (costing 1.50 a minute) offering information on impotence.
I trust you are well.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Agatha,I am very happy to read from you. This is assure that I am ready to sign the Oath of Allegiance from Her Majesty' office. So you can prepare and send same for my perusal and signing. Also bear in mind that this Oath will not go contrary to my first mail to you and the sharing formular.
I shall contact you via phone, today for more comprehensive oral discussion.
Best regards,
Mr.Martins Sabastine
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 01 Jul 2003, 06:28:28 AMDear Mr. Sabastine,
Thank you for your note.
We are delighted that you are prepared to take the Oath of Allegiance.
Please print out this text on headed notepaper, sign it, add your passport photograph, scan it and email it back to me.
'I, Mr. Martins Sabastine, do by humble merkin, solemnly swear, in the most discombobulated manner to assist the Royal Family in pursuit of their Right Royal Business.'
We do appreciate your assistance. I will not, however, be available today as I have a meeting with Lord Basil Fawlty, our Permanent Secretary.
We are looking forward to continuing this business with you.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
[A minion of Lady Agatha's remarked at this point:
Is this what one might say is merkin a fool of him?]
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,I will sign and afix my passport as requested. I did try your phone number severally, but got busy tune, please give me alternative numbers or your mobile phone number.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 02 Jul 2003, 04:01:27 AMDear Mr. Sabastine,
I do apologise about the telephone line. We will endeavour to repair it.
We are delighted with your work so far, Mr. Sabastine, and we are looking forward to receiving your signed oath.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
LADY AGATHA,HOW ARE YOU? I HOPE ALL IS WELL. PLEASE CONFIRM RECEIPT OF THE OATH, SO THAT WE CAN GO AHEAD. MARTINS.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
06 Jul 2003, 02:32:50 AMMy dear Sabastine,
I do apologize for the delay in responding. We were called away by the Duke of Toxteth on urgent business.
I'm afraid that we have not received your Oath of Allegiance. I have contacted my staff about this, including our Head of Communications, Sir Kenneth Williams. But we cannot seem to find it.
Do re-send it, there's a good chap.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Lady Agatha,See the attatchment.
Thanks.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
07 Jul 2003, 07:02:09 AMMy dear Mr. Sabastine,
Thank you so much for the returned Oath. Her Majesty is delighted with you for such sterling work.
Agent Lonslo Tossov, our Head of International Diplomacy, will send it to Bollockshire for routine security checks and we can then look forward to completing this business.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,How are you today? I am still waiting for your reply, since you have receive the Oath.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
11 Jul 2003, 01:39:30 AMDear Mr. Sabastine,
We replied to you straight away but our missive was bounced back due to your inbox being full.
This was disappointing. Please ensure you are able to receive our communications in future, otherwise this transaction could founder on the rocks of uncertainty.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha Bristol,I am very sorry for the return of your mail, Pleas accept my apologies.
Since you have received and accepted the signed Oath, we have to move ahead with the procedures.
Moreover, it will be very important to employ the services of a reputable attorney here in Nigeria who will work on your behalf.
Also a company name will be incorporated in Nigeria, to ensure hitch free transactions. The company name will be registered as Category 'A', this group of companies in Nigeria can execute contracts worth of millions.
I suggest we use L.A Bristol Incorporated Nigeria Limited. Please advise on the above suggested company name.
Awaiting your reply.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
13 Jul 2003, 09:41:05 AMMy dear Sabastine,
Think nothing of it, my good man.
What is the purpose of setting up a shell company? I shall have to take the advice of Michael Montague Barrymore, Her Majesty's Financial and Legal Adviser.
He may have some queries of his own.
I look forward to continuing this transaction shortly.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,Thanks for your mail. You should remeber that this transaction deserves some kind of confidenciality. Secondly I signed the oath, if i may ask what is the esence of the oath. Please you have to be fast because do not wait for anybody.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
My dear Scamoramites,Here is the latest from this rogue Sabastine. I trust you have the earlier missives sent from the Special Operations Department?
Regarding Dr. LePage, please inform him that he has nothing to worry about. The more the merrier when it comes to chasing these ruffians.
[ScamoNote: Dr. LePage is currently engaging Mr. Sabastine elsewhere.]
As Agent Miracsky told me last night over a sherry, 'Is am all do for now, Sabastines is all much workage, but more writings?'
We are looking forward to seeing you at the WalMart Rooms. Do you take Darjeeling?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
15 Jul 2003, 01:45:09 AMMy dear Mr. Sabastine,
The Oath of Allegiance demonstrates unswerving loyalty to Her Majesty. We are now ready to proceed with this transaction.
Confidentiality it totally secure.
Please instruct us as to how to move forward.
Yours,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
[OK HERE IT COMES]
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,We have to register the company name I suggested in my previous mail, with Nigeria Corporate Affairs Commission. This will legitimize the transaction as companies registered as category 'A' can execute contracts worth millions of dollars. Therefore for us to run smooth transaction the company name must fall within this category.
Also reconfirm the acceptance of the suggested company name or please provide any of your chioce. Moreover, the registration of Category 'A' company will cost us alot of funds. The estimate is put at US$15,750.00 and three years resident tax clearance.
As soon as the company is registered we shall apply for approval of the funds after proper documentation. The funds will be released to you immediately we received approvals.
Best regards,
Mr.Martins Sabastine
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
16 Jul 2003, 01:43:10 AMDear Mr. Sabastine,
Thank you so much for your missive. It is always such a pleasure to hear from you.
We appreciate your explanation for the Company name. We suggest The Bowden Custard Company Limited, in honour of Sir Dickie Bowden, founder of the Special Operations Department.
Mr. Barrymore has two minor technical questions:
i) Is this a pro-quim transaction, or will we be using the Toby Lerone mixamatosis rule?
ii) Do we need to act antipro-twiglets on this matter?
I look forward to progressing this transaction. Please don't worry about expenses - they are an irrelevance. We have very deep pockets here at the Foreign Office and we will ensure you get exactly what you deserve.
With fond regards.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,The company you suggested is perfect, since comomorates the name of the founder of your organization Sir Dickie Bowden. It is acceptable to me as well.
We really have to forge ahead instead of asking questions with professional terminologies. I do not understand the questions and would appreciate if you illustrate or even simplify them to enable me to answer you,(pro-quim transaction, Toby Lerone mixamatosis rule? act antipro-twiglets on this matter?)?
We have to make sure we register the company as soon as possible.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 17 Jul 2003, 09:06:18 AMMy dear Mr. Sabastine,
Very well. We will pass on the queries for now but we may return to them at a later date.
We are delighted that you have agreed to the Company name. Sir Dickie would be very proud to be associated with you, I am sure.
Now, as you say, we must forge ahead. Do let us know what we need to do now - we are in your hands.
We would very much like to take tea with you when we meet. Do you prefer Darjeeling or Orange Pekoe?
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,I would appreciate meeting you very much, as if you know I love tea too much and prefers Orange Pekoe. Forging ahead means registration of company name and subsequently approval and final credit to your bank account.
First of all, I gather all required documents of Category 'A' company and you will help raise the funds for registration of company, atleast the official fees. Although getting the documents like three years non-resident tax clearance and other logistics will cost me well over US$25,350.00, I am sure of getting the above funds within few days, but will solicit your help in the official registration fees of US$15,750.00 only to the company incorporated in Nigeria.
I hope you undestand the figures clearly, because am a civil servant and will not be able to pay all at the moment.
Expecting your immediately,
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
18 Jul 2003, 06:17:23 AMMy dear Sabastine,
Thank you for your email.
I am delighted to see that despite being a simple tribesman you are not unaware or appreciative of the finer things in life. I shall speak to Lord Ronald Kray, our Head of Exports, to send a case of Orange Pekoe to your village.
As I may have explained before, the expenses are an irrelevance. Sir Marmite Luny-Binns, Her Majesty's Special Equirry, will be pleased to look after this aspect of the transaction.
We would, however, prefer to pay in person. I trust this is acceptable? Additionally, Her Royal Highness Princess Candice would like to offer you a personal token of thanks. Is there anything you need?
I hope you are well.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear lady Agatha,I would not accept personal payment because it is wise to deal with cash, it would better to make bank transfer since the amount involved is a bit little. About the token from Her Majesty, I would appreciate that when all has been conclude and we shall celebrite over it.
Also bear in mind that this transaction is suppossed to be confidential.
I shall send to you the bank account number where the funds will be transfered as soon as I hear from you soonest.
Nilson R. Mandela is 85 years today, are you aware?
we wish him more many years ahead.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 21 Jul 2003, 01:39:30 AMMy dear Martins (if I may),
We are a little wary about bank transfers, especially if this is a pro-quims transaction circumventing the Bowden-Levy Rule.
It would be most irregular to conduct business in such a cavalier fashion. However, we are prepared to listen to suggestions on this matter. We would really prefer a face-to-face meeting and could be with you in a few days. Sir Hugh Janus, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, has released some extra funds - 2,000 pounds in used 100 pound notes - to compensate you for any inconvenience.
Your thoughts, as ever, would be appreciated.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
My Dear Lady Agatha,The suggesion is good only if we would meet outside Nigeria, Accra Ghana will be preferable as the nature of the transtion is confidential.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
22 Jul 2003, 01:42:52 AMSubject: Re: The better way.
Dear Martins,
Thank you for your note. It is a pleasure to hear from you.
We can make preparations for our trip immediately. We will be flying from our secret base Wankshire. Special Agent Ilichy Miracsky will be accompanying me, along with Agent Lonslo Tossov. Michael Montague Barrymore will also attend as he needs to sign off your fee.
I trust this is satisfactory.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,Your mail has been received and content well understood, the number of people that are coming is ok.
Since, you are interested in face to face transaction and payment, I will advise you increase the amount of funds you are coming with to avoid second tripe. So atleast you have to come with about 50,000.00 pounds to cover other expenses that may arise after this, approvals in Nigeria may cost more and we are expected to get clearance from Nigeria Drug Law and other governments agencies locally. So since you people are coming it is better we do it once and forall. I hope this ok by you.
You have to send the pictures of the people coming, your date of arrival and other travel shedules to enable me travel to Ghana before your arrival.
Finally, it will be wise you come with some reasonable gifts like Rolax watches (5) and 5 laptops which will be presented to the government officials in Nigeria who will sign the transfer documents.
Expecting your reply today.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
23 Jul 2003, 03:18:07 AMSubject: Re: Your travel arrangements.- cheeky sod Martins to Agatha and back 23 7 03
Dear Martins,
Thank you for your email.
Fifty thousand pounds is no trouble at all. I will receive clearance for this amount as a matter of course from Sir Hugh Janus.
Due to this being quite a considerable sum, however, we will be carrying standard sidearms for this journey - the Colonies have never been safe. We will be armed with Walther PPK pistols as well as Newman-1 submachine guns. I hope this is appropriate - after all, according to Agent Tossov, the locals just carry spears.
In terms of Rolex watches and laptop computers, it would be our great pleasure. Lord Peter Sutcliffe, the Royal Jeweller, will be delivering the watches tomorrow and our head of IT, Baron Frank Bruno, will supply the computers.
We have not forgotten about the Orange Pekoe, either, and a crate will be sent to you in addition to the other gifts.
I hope this is in order.
With fond regards.
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,I am very impressed to read from you today, but very surprised at your statement, like I told you from the start, this transaction is confidential.
Therefore nobody is aware that you are coming to Accra. How come are you feeling unsafe, please Africa is not like what you people feel. Moreover, law in Africa except in South Africa does not allow Arms. So coming with arms will be very dangerous for me as am not a nationality of Ghana. I am just a stranger.
I can arrange for adequate security if you are not comfortable with your coming with such money. Better still you can send the money through an account I will provide and come with the gifts alone. But this reminds me of the Oath, it seems you donÕt still trust me. Finally I do not think that is a big money to travel with in Africa. We are used to cash and people drive around with cash, that is by the way. So inform me of your actual plans and send the pictures as requested immediately.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
25 Jul 2003, 02:00:50 AMMy dear Martins,
It is standard policy for Foreign Office agents to carry concealed weapons. Whilst you enjoy our total trust and confidence, we are aware of much strife in the Colonies. We will carry Walther PPK weapons, but not in your presence. I hope that is satisfactory.
Agent Tossov, please send me our standard pictures, of you, Agent Miracsky and myself so Mr. Sabastine will know who to look for.
We will be arriving in Ghana in the next few weeks. We are waiting for Bowden 3, our best Government Aircraft, to return from the Jeffery Dahmer Conference. By the time the watches, laptops and money come through we should be leaving very early next Tuesday for Accra, Ghana.
I trust this is all in order.
LONSLO TOSSOV
Cc: martins_sabastine@juno.com, Ilichy MiracskyDate: 25 Jul 2003, 04:54:01 AM
Subject: As requested
Here are the images you have asked for M'am. I hope Mr Martins will observe the security issues involved in this disclosure. I am available to leave at once.
Agent Tossov
Tossov!
Miracsky!
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 25 Jul 2003, 08:06:47 AMExcellent, Agent Tossov.
Mr. Sabastine, I trust these are in order?
SPECIAL AGENT ILICHY MIRACSKY
26 Jul 2003, 07:23:01 AMcc: Sabastine
Helloo Lady Agatha
If not too good this one last snappage, have also one in bathes costumery.
Hope urge hearing
ILICHY
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Agent Miracsky,Thank you for your suggestion. I would imagine that the current photo images will suffice.
Yours ever,
AB
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,I received a strange call from your country, treathening my business relationship with you. Did you send anybody to call me? I wonder why you don't call me on phone rather you preferred somebody else to insult me on phone.
I am not confortable with the pictures you sent, they do not look like responsible as I expected from the royal family, moreover, you picture is not there.
You have to show signs of seriousness, or I look for somebody who can confortably handle this transaction.
Good day,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
28 Jul 2003, 01:41:19 AMMy dear Martins,
I have no idea who contacted you. I can assure you that the Special Operations Department are here to ensure you receive exactly what you are due.
We will, however, conduct an internal enquiry in the highly unlikely event someone has behaved inappropriately. Her Majesty wishes to emphasize that our business with you is genuine.
The pictures are not members of the Royal Family - they are pictures of Agents Miracsky and Tossov.
It is forbidden for my picture to leave Great Britain, my dear chap, due to security concerns. However, we will be meeting soon as preparations to fly to Ghana are nearly complete.
With kind regards.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,How are you today? I am still waiting for your travel schedule, and you should bear in mind that this transaction is confidential, so I would like to loss my job.
Well let me assum that it was a wrong call from your officials but they should respect personalities. Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
30 Jul 2003, 01:32:11 AMMy dear Martins,
Thank you for your note. We are leaving today for Accra and we will be arriving in the next two to three days. I will keep you informed of our progress.
Do stay in touch, there's a good chap.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,How are you today I hope fine. Well this is an emergency, My father is sick and needs my attention in the village, already I contact his private Dr. who tell that he is to undergo major operation. According to the Doctor I will paying 7,980 pounds to save my father's life. Right now I need only 1,980 pound to complete the required sum. So please kindly help me by sending only 1,980 pounds. Send it in the of personal assistant Mr. Elias Onyebuchukwu,address: Lagos-Nigeria. Via western union money transfer.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
30 Jul 2003, 01:33:51 AMDear Martins,
What terrible news! This must be an awful shock to you and your family. Dr. Harold Shipman, the Royal Physician, is on hand to help.
When do you need this extra funding?
[ScamO Note: note to non-British readers, Dr. Harold Shipman appeared in the news a few years back and is NOT someone you want attending to your loved ones, as he manifested a distressing tendency toward unilaterally deciding when his patients' times were up.]
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear lady Agatha,Thanks for your concern about my fathers illness. Right now I will be very happy if you send the money today before your departure. On receipt of the control number I will pay the hospital bill and move immediately to meet you in Ghana. Without settling my fathers illness and hospital bill today I can not travel. Please kindly help and also send the transfer informations today. Better still attach the western union payment slip.
Expecting your positive response today.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
My dear Martins,Thank you for your note.
Whilst we have every sympathy for your father's condition, we feel that this is distracting from what is a major international transaction.
Is there no way you can pay by credit card? We can re-imburse you if you wish.
Send him an electronic bunch of flowers.. http://www.virtualflorist.com
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear lady Agatha,If there is a way I can pay through credit card I would have done that before telling you. It is simple, if you really want to help your friend. Just send via western union.
Expecting to hear from you.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
01 Aug 2003, 01:42:07 AMMy dear Martins,
You will be pleased to hear that we have sent our contribution to your father's recovery through the internet.
I do hope that despite these trying circumstances we can now return to the business at hand.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,This good flower, I appreciate that but my old father's health needs fund for sustaince. If really you want to help it is very simple not bunch of flowers, because we have enough here.
Please save life to enable me continue this transaction.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
04 Aug 2003, 01:48:39 AMMy dear Martins,
Thank you for your note.
No can do, I'm afraid, old chap. Whilst we're so very sorry to hear about your father, I cannot ask for more than the £50,000 we have earmarked for you already.
This transaction is confidential and any activity needing more than £50,000 in petty cash needs to be signed off by my Permanent Secretary, Lord Basil Fawlty. I have tried to speak to his assistant, Manuel, but he was not available.
I'm sorry we can't help but we are eager to continue our original transaction. May I remind you that you signed the Royal Oath in pledging your assistance to us. Are you going to turn your back on the Royal Family?
Think hard, Martins.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,I am not trying to turn back on the royal family or the oath but we are all human beings and must save life first. Well since you claim that the authorities are not ready to sign for another little sum outside 50,000 pounds, it is good just deduct the needed money to save my father's life from the bulk, at the end of the day I will make the total. Think this is simple and acceptable.
Now deduct and send from the existing 50,000.00 pounds, send via western union today through the same name i gave you before, Mr. Elias Onyebuchukwu, address Lagos-Nigeria. After this we will schedule date of meeting.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
05 Aug 2003, 01:37:38 AMMy dear Martins,
Your native ways are most charming. If only the internal mechanisms of the Treasury worked that way. We have to fill out TESCO forms (Treasury Extra Sums Co-Ordination) if we need extra funding on top of our original budgets. We have agreed a sum of £50,000, but it will not be wired until the original transaction is close to completion.
Can you not speak to your village Chief or some relatives? This matter is becoming a little tiresome, if I may say. Agent Tossov has even procured top of the range Rolexes and the laptops you ordered. Each laptop has the new Intel Centrium wireless technology.
If this does not interest you then we are happy to go with Jonathan Mokoena, who has presented his case in a far more professional manner.
I understand your situation. But I beg you to reconsider the wider picture.
Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
[ScamO Note: Jonathan Mokoena appeared in a previous escapade of Team Agatha, in which he expected Captain Stabbin to come visit him by boat. Due to a mix-up (like the fact that there is no Capt. Stabbin), they never made contact. An unprofitable venture unless one takes into account the laughter it provided for the rest of us.]
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,I think your suggestions to leave my father to die first is ok, lets proceed to atleast make you happy. Now give me an alternative phone number which is working to contact you, because on of my colleages will visting London for holiday and he intends to meet you people on our behalf.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
05 Aug 2003, 07:16:17 AMMy dear Martins,
Please don't take on so. We have tried to organise funding for you but we were refused. Far be it for me to argue with Sir Hugh Janus.
Presumably you are trying other ways to raise capital - bank loans, perhaps?
We are truly sorry about your father. But we are not a charity. We are the Special Operations Department of the Foreign Office, my dear chap.
To the business at hand. We are now ready to fly to Ghana to meet you. We will be there in two days' time. I can access e-mail during our arduous journey so will contact you when we have selected appropriate accomodation.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
Date: 08 Aug 2003, 01:31:50 AMSubject: last chance? it's been a good run
My dear Martins,
I am delighted to inform you that we are in sunny Accra, Ghana.
v We are attempting to find appropriate accomodation in this shanty town and I will inform you when we are settled. We are looking forward to concluding this business.
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,Thanks for your kind gestures towards my father, even if the office refuses sending money for my fathers health, what about you as a person, maybe you dont have money too or you dont want to help man.
Well that by the way, please call me on your arrival and I will advise on how,when and where to meet.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
08 Aug 2003, 04:18:05 AMMy dear Sabastine,
Thank you for your note. We did try, my dear fellow. We do hope your father is feeling better and will be up and about soon.
My personal wealth is confidential. However, as we have formed a bond, I am prepared to inform you that my personal net worth exceeds £3,000,000.
We will contact you with our hotel details shortly.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
11/08/2003 09:47Subject: Missive From The Special Operations Department
My dear Martins,
We are now in Accra, Ghana, having touched down early this morning. What a charming city it is - already we have been approached by natives wishing to sell us local wares such as beads and goats' skulls.
We have checked into our hotel and will refresh ourselves before contacting you again.
I trust this is satisfactory?
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,Welcome to Africa, I guess this is your first time.
Kindly send your hotel name,address,telephone numbers and your room numbers to enable me get in contact and advise how we can meet. Send it immediately without wasting time.
Best regards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
11/08/2003 14:05My dear Martins,
Thank you for your kind note. We are indeed delighted to be here in the Colonies, but for the fly problem we would be even happier.
We are, however, staying in a charming hotel - The Golden Tulip Hotel, Liberation Road, Accra 16033. The room number is 69.
Please note that we have used pseudonyms due to security concerns. When you arrive at the front desk please ask for ISA WANKER which is my assumed name.
As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London
MARTINS SABASTINE (martins_sabastine@juno.com)
Dear Lady Agatha,Please send the telephone number of the hotel to enable me call you.
Also try and call me ok.
Best reagards,
Mr. Martins Sabastine.
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE
12 Aug 2003, 02:28:38 AMMy dear Martins,
Your telephone *still* isn't working. Is there nothing we can do? I suggest we meet at the bar and we can take tea before we conclude the transaction.
More to come?