Arnold Wanker has graced this web site in such encounters as THERE IS NO JOY, YOU ARE SLOWING DOWN OUR SERVICE and MOONSHINE OVER METHLAND.
Arnold also has a close working relationship with Dr. Sweeney Todd (board-certified scambaiter), of YOUR UTTERANCE IS REPREHENSIBLE, DEMON SCAMBAITER OF FLEET STREET and INFORMED CONSENT.
Here he faces off against Mrs Dora Lee, a loan officer and Mr. Lucas Kayleigh, "International Transfer Manager", Royal Bank of Scotland (whatever). Credit is tight, and Arnold lives from paycheck to paycheck, so when a banker contacts him out of the blue with a loan offer, he jumps on it.
Mrs Dora Lee
From: Mrs Dora Lee (doraloan@doracompany.com)
Attn: Loan Offer Apply Now
doracompany.com is a web site, hosted in Turkey. Arnold Wanker
To: Mrs Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora, Id sure apprecite it if you can lend me some $$$ til payday. Im good for it, cuz Im due a big paycheck on account of Ive been putin in lots of overtime at the tire retread factory. Anyhow, heres the info yall wanted:
Full Name: Arnold James Wanker
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Attn Applicant: Interest Rates/Monthly Loan Repayment/Cumulative Payments: This is to certify that the management of the above named loan company has decided to grant you your loan request of $3,000.00 after a brief discussion with our loan officers and board of directors. We can grant you that amount of loan on one condition; we need your trust and co-operation. Rebuilding Society, itself a mutual not-for-private-profit social enterprise was established with the commercial objective of becoming a permanent and sustainable institution supporting the growing social enterprise sector. In order to achieve this we set our fees, interest rates and terms and conditions to cover our costs and protect our funds against losses. The interest rate, arrangement fee, terms and conditions are set separately for each loan. These notes are intended only as a guide for enquirers and form no part of any contract, agreement or offer. The management therefore has set up a couple of terms and conditions with regards to the amount you requested for, the terms and conditions are clearly stated below:
TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF OUR LOANS
Loan Period: Note: A scan copy of your international/national identity card or a driver license will be send along with this mail for documentation of your loan process. For the expedite and a step forward in this transaction you are expected to get to me ASAP.
Loan refund:
REPAYMENT :
Security:
Monitoring: Note: Your cell phone number must be reachable at all time because without that we can not grant you this loan. You are to send us an email as soon as possible stating if you are in agreement with the terms okay. Thanks for your Consideration/Patronage. Kind regards/Respect. Mrs. Dora LeeThe acute reader will understand that the terms of the 'contract' are immaterial, as this is a scam. There is no loan forthcoming, although there will be processing fees or some such. Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Cool deal. So I get to keep the mony for a whole year? Thats awesome. I figure if I invest it in somethin thats a dead cert like my cousins weed bisiness Im sure to come out ahead. I dont have no drivin licens no more after I hit that fire hidrant last month. Heres a copy of my passport tho, hope thats OK. So are you goin to send me cash or a check?
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
Hello, TRANSFER OPTIONS.
Bank To Bank Transfer: Here you are to send down your banking information’s so that we can forward it to the transfer department and then they will have to transfer your loan amount into your bank account .it will take 2 to 3 days to get this done. The transfer of the loan must be a bank to bank transfer, except otherwise stated by our company management or the borrower, so with this you are then advice to provide your full banking information for the transfer in your next mail.
Information needed for the transfer
Name on Account....................... .............. Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Good deal. Heres all the info and everythin yall need.
Name: Arnold Wanker
Thanks [Note: Real bank, routing number, and address - just in case they check these things. Obviously name and account # fictitious.] Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
Hello, Mr. Lucas Kayleigh
Per standard Lad SOP, enter the bank!
From: Royal Bank (royalbank.transferdepartment@googlemail.com)
THE ROYAL BANK AGENCY rotating globe.
Here is the recent history of your Transfer Status in the Transfer Menu: Transfer Processing... Out of 100% = 95% Done - 5% Remaining... Good Day, Formal Bank letter on a Bank Letterhead with logo as below will be needed. This is ROYAL BANK TRANSFER BOARD REPRESENTATIVE AGENCY'S,the bank responsible for the transfer of your loan worth $3,000.00 USD which has been deposited by Mrs. Dora Lee We just received a message from the Transferring Agent about the update on your transfer status,they said a problem occurs when they wanted to transfer your loan funds to your account he said he has verified your account and it was valid but a problem occurred when they wanted to wire the loan funds to your account. Your Loan Transfer Agent said your account don't have international business permit so it can not be used for any external transfers it can only be used for transfer of fund within your country.He further said that your account needs to be activated before the loan funds can reflect in your account. Meanwhile we have updated your loan lender on the latest development on your loan transfer status,you are needed to provide the sum of $315 USD for your account activation and as soon as this fee is provided for your account activation, your loan funds will reflect in your account your account without any delay and as you can see in your loan transfer status it is 95% now and as soon as the account is been activated the remaining 5% will be completed. And after your account has been activated the account will be ready for use any time. The account only needs to be activated once after this the account will no longer be activated and it will be set for external transfers any time okay. I want you to get back to us, so i can direct you on how you are to transfer the fee for your account activation. I await your mail soon, your loan funds has been approved by your lender of $3,000.00 USD today. Thank you for using ROYAL bank pl c online for transferring your funds. However, we are here to give you the very best services as a bank... As a co-operative institution with a rich history of focusing on customers, ROYAL Bank consistently pushes the boundaries of traditional personal banking. FUND OF $3,000.00 USD TO BE REFLECTED IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. Here is the recent history of your Transfer Status in the Transfer Menu:
Out of 100% = 95% Done - 5% Remaining...
Name on Account
Arnold Wanker
Bank Location
5916 Lawrenceburg Road, Chaplin, KY 40012
Warm Regards,
Enjoy better online banking with ROYAL BANK !!!!!!! Arnold Wanker
Arnold doesn't have a lot of cash lying around, so he makes a simple request.
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora I got a mesage back from the transfer department. Trouble is they want $315 for some permit thingy before they can transfer mony into my account. If I had $315 to spare, I woudlnt need to ask yall for the loan in the first place. Can you take $315 out of the loan so they can get the permit sorted?
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
... which sparks a long, defensive and deeply religious response, with a dash of gender confusion. Should be read out loud for maximum effect.
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
Hello, Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Im real glad to hear your a Christain and everythin. I have to admit Ive not been real good at getting to church regular lately, but Im still spiritial and believin in God and Jesus and stuff. Also I have to say I aint real good with book learnin, so yall are gonna have to remind me who Judah is. Is he the dude that done got ate by that bigass whale? I remember in Sunday school hearin somethin about that, but all the boys in the class got distracted cuz the Sunday school teacher used to wear these low cut blouses, and you used to be able to see down them and get a good view of her sweater puppies iffen you got the right angle. So given your religius I know you aint no scammer or nothin, its just that Im really hurtin for money right now which is why I turned to you for the loan in the first place. You must have a whole bunch of mony in hand if your out there lendin it to all these people and companies and such. Becuase were both Christains and all, could you find it in your heart to lend me the mony so I can get the loan set up? Otherwise Im gonna have to do somethin that aint right with God, like puttin oregano in the weed Im sellin for my cousin, to get the mony together.
Thanks and God bless you Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
THANKS FOR THE EMAIL. I want you to know that my coming into lending is for the benefit of financially less privileged and not to rip people of their hard earned money. I don't know how to explain this to you but you make me think i should stop this transaction but i can see it in your face that you need this loan for real and i am ready to do all possible best to make sure you get this loan. . I am not taking your money,as the fee that you are paying is an evidence that you loaned from my company God knows i was surprised to receive such email from you . This is an international business loan transaction, it is been full of doubts and mis trustfulness. I am a Christian, so I believe you are too . I understand that you are trying to protect your self from been scammed. But this is quite unfortunate that you are ignorant about the fact that out of 12 there must be a Judas. it then means that you will receive this loan. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he lies in times of comfort, but where he stands in times of controversy and pressure. I understand your fears as some set of people have decided to disguise as lenders but at the end they are scams.I want you to know that in the midst of scams there are still genuine lenders who do not rip individuals of their hard earned money. I want you to know that as a good Business man that it is our idea to treat clients very well at the first instance so as to enable them come back that is you treat them well to win them for future transactions.You would have applied through a website but it is currently down and for this everything is done manually I am not after any clients money and will do nothing of that sort because as a devout and practicing Christian ,i believe in the law of karma and the golden rule which urges us not to hurt our neighbors so if you think i will deviate from my principles ,that is a big mistake. I have feelings for people all over the world especially the ones that are not financially stable, this is due to the fact that i have been like that before and during the period that i was in that state, nobody treated me wrongly so treating somebody that need help wrongly is wickedness of which i am not a party too. I will want to assure you that we are DORA LOAN COMPANY is out to help and not rip people of their money,People have trusted me in the past and have never been disappointed so i will want you to know that trusting me will never make you disappointed as this is a promise as genuine from a mother to her child. I will want you to know that i am not offended at all, as your question is right as the alarming rate of scams sends a signal to all to wake up and be vigilant and not fall a victim or prey to this individuals. I also know that you have gone for research but you just need to believe me the way that you have the believe in the first place by making the payment okay. you go ahead with this and let's make it happen.....
Give us a try as there is no financial mountain that is insurmountable as the only thing needed is your climbing faith,Trust me and you will never be disappointed. Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Like I done told you last time, it aint that Im acusing you of bein no scammer or nothin. You told me your a Christain, and thats good enuf for me to trust that you aint out there ripin people off. All Im sayin is, as one Christain to another, cant you see fit to help me out and lend me the $315 I need to get the loan transfered? I swear to God that Ill put in extra hours at the retread factory and pay you the $315 back. And you know you can trust be cuz like I said Im a Christain as well so I aint lyin to you. Its kinda like that time when Jesus was in the dessert and it was real hot and then Satan showed up. So I bet if Jesus had asked you for the $315 so that he didnt have to borow nothin from Satan youd help him out, right? So its the same thing, if you help me out, I aint gonna need to do anythin that aint right to get the money. Please let me know that Gods answered my prairs and yall will help me
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
Now the scammer gets tough.
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
HELLO, Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Im sad to hear yall cant help me out, specialy given that both of us are felow Christains and all. Still I know with my faith and all theres goin to be a way we can make this work. OK, so now Im gettin inspired... hows this for a deal? I got a bottle of Mylanta, half full, that I swear to God is the one they found in Elvis's bathroom on the day he died. Thats got to be worth $500 to $1K easily at auction, but its yours if youll pay the transfer fee. Just tell me your addy and Ill put it right in the mail to you.
Thanks [Gap of a few days here. I'm guessing that Dora isn't much of an Elvis fan, so I need to come up with some money to put the ball back in play.] Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Dora So I done came up with the $315. Between you and me, cuz you aint showin me no Christain charity, I had to raise most of the mony by sellin some mushrooms I took off this pizza thats been in my fridge about a month to this high school kid who thought theyd get him high. I aint feelin real good about it with God, plus theres gonna be an asskickin comin my way from the kid and his buddies iffen he gets sick. Anyhow, do yall still have the loan? Where do I send he mony? ArnoldMrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
Hello Wanker, You are to send the payment via western union money transfer and make sure it done before leaving okay, here is the payment information you are to send the payment down.
Receiver's Name: Dora Lee After the payment has been made you are to send the following details down.
Sender's name:
I also want you to know that as soon as we receive this information
and the payment has been confirmed you will have your funds
transferred directly to your Bank account okay. I will be waiting to
hear from you as soon as possible. Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Sounds like a good deal. If you can get the money in my bank sooner rather than later that would be good, cuz Im hearin that that kid I done sold the shrooms to got real sick. Word is he puked in his cousins new beemer, and his cousins an ex con that you dont want to mess with. So Im thinkin to take the $$$ and skip town for a while. I done sent yall the $315, so Im pretty much broke now. Heres the stuff you need
Sender's name: Arnold Wanker Let me know as soon as the monys in my bank, cuz like I said Im plannin on takin some cash out and bailin soon as it comes thru.
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
Hello, Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Cool deal. Like I said, sooner rather than later is good, cuz Im gonna need to blow town for a while.
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
Hello, Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora Whats goin on with the transfer? I attached the slip like yall said. I need that mony in my bank fast.
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
HELLO, [Oops. My bad. Looks like I "accidentally" transposed a couple numbers. So it's back to the WU office for Mrs. Dora.] Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Dora, OK, my bad. Sorry about the mixup. I never have been much good with numbers and book lernin and such. Hope yall will be able to send the money soon.
Thanks Mrs Dora Lee
From: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com)
HELLO, YOU ARE TO GO BACK TO THE WETSERN UNION OFFICE AND COLLECT THE MONEY, THEN YOU RESEND IT AND MAKE SURE THE TRANSFER IS DONE BEFORE SEND ME ANY INFORMATION AND I ALSO WANT YOU TO TRACK IT ONLINE BEFORE YOU SEND IT TO ME JUST TO MAKE SURE IT THERE OKAY.
I WILL WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU WHEN THIS IS DONE, BECAUSE THIS IS THE LATEST PROBLEM THAT IS HOLDING YOUR FUNDS. SO DO IT AND HAVE IT AS SOON AS THE PAYMENT IS CONFIRMED OKAY. Arnold Wanker
To: Dora Lee (doraloanfirm_5551@hotmail.com) Hi Dora, Real nice to hear from you again. So heres the thing... iffen your goin to track it online, then its no fun, becuase I dont get to send you down to the Western Union office one more time. Hows the weather over there in Lagos? I here theres some thunderstorms right now. We get those in summer in Kentucky also. So I learned a new word the other day. Mugu. You say it like moo-goo, right? Aint that the Nigerian way to say dumbass? Anyway, mugu, its been real fun wastin your time. Best Regards Arnold[At this point, I was running out of options for wasting any more of their time, given that they can track online whether a WU number is valid. BTW, the originating IP does in fact trace back to Lagos, Nigeria, so I wasn't guessing. I had a faint hope that I'd get an incoherent death threat in all caps, but it looks like they're professional enough just to move on.] [If you stumbled across this and are boggled, seek de-bogglement on the MAIN PAGE.] |