I am having trouble understanding you

Another member of the clergy graces the site.

Mr. Lord Adair Turner, Chairman, Financial Services Authority
HSBC Bank (not) - meant to close the deal
Mr. James Dibia - a Diplomat - another 'closer' brought in by the Lads, they never get a chance to use him
Rev Dr David Okoh - Intercontinental Bank Plc - yet another closer the Lads turn to
all of these versus
Reverend Wally Tightnuts, helpful clergyman
[Note: This Rev Wally is named after the creation of whatsthebloodypoint.com.
The real Rev Wally has kindly sanctioned this use of his name in a good cause.]

I received a typical spam letter stating that there was 3.5 million dollars awaiting me at a London bank.
When I inquired, I was told it was HSBC. Despite being a London bank, their English is atrocious.

After immediately notifying the real HSBC bank of their impersonators, I decided to see how far it would go:

Lord Turner

[Rev. Wally probably received a scam-o-gram somewhat like this, found on the InterWebs.]

From: MR. LORD ADAIR TURNER
Subject: REPLY ASAP

From the Desk Of MR. LORD ADAIR TURNER
CHAIRMAN, FINANCIAL SERVICES AUTHORITY (FSA)
It has come to our notice via our central monitoring computer that a huge fund has been credited in your name for transfer with a London Bank. Under the stipulated enabling Law of the Government of Great Britain and Wales and other Commonwealth States, any huge fund that has been found in our computer system waiting to be transferred without claims for a period of 6 months or less, shall be confiscated and forfeited to the Government of Great Britain and Wales. We do hereby ask you to contact this office immediately for ratification within the 3 days of this notice or consider your fund confiscated. We appreciate your urgent co-operation. Respond to my alternative Email:etc. etc.
MR. LORD ADAIR TURNER
CHAIRMAN, FINANCIAL SERVICES AUTHORITY (FSA)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM

[That is a variation on the Dead Bank Customer letter.]

Rev Wally
Dear Sir or Madam:

Turner requested that I contact you regarding the transfer of US $3.5 million to my bank account. My bank information is below:
Bank Name: Bartlett's Bank
Address: 15 High Street, East Weestain, Lower Weebleshire, UK
Acct No: 592-381

Rev Wally
Lord Turner

Lord Turner confirms it is HSBC bank. They want to send me money.

FINANCIAL SERVICES AUTHORITY
25 THE NORTH COLONNADE, CANARY WHARF, LONDON E14 5HS
(Company No. 01920623)

FROM THE DESK OF LORD ADAIR TURNER
CHAIRMAN, FINANCIAL SERVICES AUTHORITY (FSA).
DIRECT TELEPHONE: (44)7023025773>

Dear Rev Wally Tightnuts,

Your email has been well received, appreciated and filed accordingly. Before I go any further in my elaboration of this transaction and this concern the meeting we have by the British Government today and the fund which is $3.500,000.00 ( USD$3.5M) have been approve to transfer into your bank account by the London Financial Services Authority, Your fund have been transfer to HSBC BANK London and the bank which in-charges to transfer the fund into your bank account.

You are kindly advice to contact the HSBC BANK London for the transfer of your fund to you and you have to make sure that you use the below information to contact the bank.

Name: HSBC BANK LONDON
E-mail: hsbc.banking@london.com

Note: Make sure that you use the above information to contact the HSBC BANK LONDON together with your bank account information for the transfer of the fund to you.

Regard,

30- 11 - 2009

LORD ADAIR TURNER,
CHAIRMAN, FINANCIAL SERVICES AUTHORITY (FSA).
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
The Bank

Of course, before they can send me money, there are a few fees to be paid first. They want me to send them $3 150 including $1 600 for tax clearance for 2 years.

Attention: Rev Wally Tightnuts, From HSBC BANK LONDON

HSBC Bank
Addresss: HSBC Holdings plc 8 Canada Square London E14 5HQ.

Attention: Rev Wally Tightnuts

Our bank receive your mail concern your fund which is $3.500,000 in our bank which approve from the Financial Services Authority London. Before our bank will transfer the fund into your bank account we receive mail from the united Nation and the United Nation said that before our bank will transfer the fund into your bank account you have to make pay for the International fund Clarence and Non resident tax by the London Tax office. As soon you make the payment the fund will transfer into your bank account.

1. International Tax Clearance ===== $1,550
2. Tax Clearance for 2years ======== $1,600
============================================
Total: ===============================$3,150

Note: You have to get back to our bank concern the payment which demand from the United Nation and the London Tax office and as soon you make the payment our bank will transfer the fund into your bank account .

You are kindly advice to use the below our bank account information to make the payment to our for the charges which demand from you.

BANK: HSBC BANK,
ADD: TUDOR SQUARE, NOTTINGHAM, LONDON.
SWIFT CODE: MIDLGB22
SORT CODE: 40-35-19
A/C NAME: JACCIN EDIBLES UK.
A/C NUMBER: 81595571
IBAN: GB74MIDL40351981595571

As soon you make the payment you have to get back to our bank with the payment slip which you use to make the payment so that our bank will confirm it and the United Nation and London Tax office will obtain the documents and transfer the fund to you.

Regard
HSBC BANK LONDON

Time to send the funds using the old master's TWATS system.*

[* The TWATS form is the creation of "Gilbert Murray" of www.scambuster419.co.uk.]

Rev Wally

Send them the TWATS slip and then ask them in case of trouble to send a letter to my bank.

Dear HSBC Bank London:

I am happy that HSBC approved the 3.5 million USD transfer to my bank account by the Financial Services Authority London. In order to satisfy the United Nation's demand for International Clearance and Non-resident tax (I'm from the UK - why the non-resident tax?) to their London tax office, I initiated a transfer from my bank, Bartletts, to your HSBC recipient, Jaccin Edibles. The transfer slip, using the Transnational Worldwide Automated Transfer System, is attached. If HSBC encounters any problems with the transfer, please inform me and have them send a letter to my bank (address at the bottom of the slip).

I look forward to completing the transfer.

Rev Wally

Let's see if the "bank transfer" goes through

The Bank

We receive the payment slip and we are working the transaction..

Our bank will get back to you tomorrow.

Regard
Hsbc Bank London
Rev Wally
Dear HSBC London:

I am glad that you received the payment slip.How did the transaction go? Were there any difficulties?

Although you promised to get bank to me today, I have not heard anything.

Rev Wally
The Bank

Your mail was receive and our bank are waiting to confirm the fund which you transfer to our bank. we have not receive the payment in our bank account.

You have to go back to the bank you transfer the payment and ask them. if the money have transfer to our bank.Because we ha-vent receive in our bank account.

tell them to send you the transfer slip which was sign in there bank. and there bank tele phone and address. Regard HSCB BANK
Rev Wally

Can you understand their last email? Time to remind them to have their "bank manager" send a letter to my bank and waste some time doing so.

Dear HSCB Bank:

I must say, for a British banker, your English is rather rough so it is quite difficult to decipher what you are trying to say.

If you did not receive your transfer, the best thing is to have the HSBC manager of the bank where Jaccin Edibles have their bank account send a letter to Bartletts bank in East Weestain. Bartletts bank's address is on the transfer slip. Bartletts bank would pay prompt attention to a letter from another bank, which gives them full details of what happened, rather than having to rely on what the sender heard from the receiver. Often, the sender muddles what they have heard which causes innumerable problems. Hence, most banks now insist that the receiving bank's manager send them a letter acknowledging problems in the money transfer process. If your manager uses first class mail, as they should, they should get a reply within a day.

Let me know what your HSBC manager has received, as a response, from Bartletts Bank. Rev Wally
The Bank

For some reason, there is no problem with TWATS.

Attention: Rev Wally Tightnuts

I receive your mail and we notice there is no problem. But you have to give our bank 3days to confirm the fund in our bank .We are very sorry for the embarrassment. Our bank will update you by next week Tuesday been 8th December as soon we confirm the fund in our bank account for the processing for the documents.

Keep you posted. Regard
HSBC BANK

They first claim not to have received the funds (then try to delay them by having them send a letter to a non-existent bank and wait for a reply) and then they do - good old TWATS never lets you down. They then send me a tax clearance certificate for only 1 year (1850) for the rail tax in the US (why would the London tax office provide an exemption for a 160 year old tax in another country?) and the worst-faked documents that I have ever seen - fund clearance from the United Nations (no date but a horrible banner - did they use Microsoft Paint to do this?). According to Wikipedia, the Mobile & Ohio Rail Road Company, after several near bankruptcies, merged with another in 1940. Looks like they need an additional $56 000 for transfer (these charges never end, do they?). Time for another TWATS transfer.

The Bank

Dear Rev Wally Tightnuts

Our have obtain the documents for the international fund clearance and the tax certificate at London tax office. And our bank have approve to transfer the fund to you which is $3.5m . Like wise the policy of our bank you have to make the payment for the transfer charges and security charges which will help our bank to process for the transfer of your fund to you and the transfer charge is $56,000. You are advice to make the payment for the transfer charge and security charges and as soon the payment for the transfer done . Our bank wil transfer the fund to you.

We wait to hear from you soon.

Regard
HSBC BANK LONDON

Resisting the temptation to laugh at them but playing on their greed to obtain $56 000, I send them another "transfer slip" and remind them to have their "bank manager" contact mine if there is a problem. More time wasted before the letter is returned as undeliverable, provided it is mailed in the first place. This is supposed to be a "secret" transaction. Informing the bank might result in them warning their client against the fraud.

Rev Wally

Dear HSBC Bank London:

I have received your email. How joyful that I am that you have obtained the international fund clearance and the tax certificate from the London tax office. As you say, the last detail is the payment of the transfer and security charges after which your bank will transfer the funds to my account.

I have attached the transfer slip for the $56 000 transfer and security charges. Please let me know when this transfer occurs. I have spoken with my local bank manager about the transfer. He told me that if there is a problem with the transfer, the best thing is to have the HSBC bank manager send him a letter (address on the transfer slip) confirming that no transfer was received. This way, my bank, Bartletts, has official confirmation of the non-transfer and is able to investigate it much more readily than if they had to rely on the word of a bank customer or even a telephone call.

I await the final transfer of funds.

Rev Wally

The Bank
They received the slip and are working on it. We have receive the payment slip concern the transfer of your fund. Our bank want to inform you that we are still working for the transfer.
Keep you posted.
regard
HSBC BANK LONDON
The Bank

Attntion Rev Wally T

Our bank wish to bring your notice to you that we havent receive the payment of the transfer charges which you send to our bank.

If you have send the money can you send our bank the race? because our bank havent receive the money which you send to our bank for the transfer charges?

Regard
HSBC BANK

Rev Wally

No funds yet so I tell them to send an official letter to my bank. They don't realize it is a fake bank and they are worried how a bank front would mail a letter

Dear HSBC Bank:

I am unsure, due to your English, what you are saying. I gather that you did not receive the transfer payment by now.

What do you mean by sending your bank the race? A dog race or a horse race? I can't see a bank being interested in these type of races, unless they placed some illegal bets.

If you mean a trace of the bank transfer, I am afraid that in order to accomplish this, your HSBC bank manager must write to the bank (address at the bottom of the slip on your bank's official letterhead, explain that they did not receive the funds, and then request a trace of the bank transfer. Banks in the UK do not supply such traces at the bequest of the customer. Nor do they supply traces on the request of someone purporting to be a bank via email or telephone (too many frauds have been perpetuated using these methods). As I explained before, the only way they would respond is via mail from your HSBC manager. Please make sure that he sends out this letter of request as soon as possible.

Rev Wally
The Bank

They ignore me and request that I ask my bank where the transfer went.

We haven't receive the payment in our bank account. You have to ask your bank because it seen the fund stop some where? that why it didn't transfer into our bank account.

You have to ask your bank if they really send the money?

Rev Wally

Dear Management:

I am again having difficulty understanding you.

It appears that you claim that you did not receive the funds in your account. As I explained before, the best course of action is for your local HSBC manager to send a letter to Bartletts Bank (Attention: Manager Ron Smith) confirming non-receipt of funds. Bartletts Bank, upon official confirmation, would then investigate. Due to problems in the past, they prefer not to have customers inform them that funds were never received. The reason for this is that, due to their experience, many customers mix up what has happened and provide them with no useful information - in many cases, the funds have arrived yet the sender claims that they did not. Hence, they have decided that they will only investigate unsuccessful money transfers upon reciept of a letter from the receiving bank confirming that the funds have not been sent. Make sure that your HSBC manager sends that letter to Bartletts Bank (address on the bottom of the transfer slip) today.

Rev Wally
The Bank

Dear Rev Wally ,

We have not receive the money in our bank account and i want to inform you that is not our bank duty to contact the Bank of Bartlett concern the fund which you transfer from there bank. You have to contact the Bartlett concern where you send the money and you have tell your bank that the fund which you transfer to HSBC BANK they havent receive the fund.

You have to tell you bank that they should give you the trace about the fund transfer if the fund was stop some where.

Regard
HSBC BANK

Rev Wally

Dear HSBC Bank:

I have read your email. It was a bit hard to understand.

I am surprised that you did not receive the funds yet. However, I can not understand your relunctance to send a quick letter to Bartletts bank. Any legitimate bank would do so immediately if they did not receive the funds as it is part of their normal course of business, and duty, in cases like this. I did explain why my telling the bank that you did not receive the funds would be problematic and may result in further delays and non-action.

What is the name of your manager (including business email address and telephone number) along with the branch's address? If Bartlett's bank decides to contact your manager for confirmation, they would want ALL of this information.

Rev Wally
The Bank

Sir.

Thanks for your email with it's contents noted, based on the content of your email we advice that you contact your bank for them to provid youb with TRACER to know the postion of your fund, the money still remain yours and we shall not have much to do over here untill we get a good and clear evidence that you make the payment, right now we are doubting the payment slip you sent to us.

Lastly, your bank should contact us with a good information to prove that the sent money to the account that was sent to you. Waiting to hear from your bank.

HSBC BANK
Rev Wally

Dear HSBC Bank:

It is again difficult to understand you.

You seem to mention that you have doubts over the genuineness of the bank transfer. My bank is also expressing doubts regarding your legitimacy. Your supposed bank steadfastly refuses to contact mine regarding possible non-transfer of funds even though this is standard bank operating procedure which every bank should know and practise.

I asked for the name of your bank's manager, their addess (you provided it earlier but it is save me digging for this information).plus the BUSINESS email address of your bank manager. My bank can not provide tracer information to a bank official whom they do no have contact details for. Please send these details immediately.

Rev Wally
Rev Wally

Dear HSBC Bank:

I am still awaiting contact details for your bank manager, including their name and BUSINESS email. Please send as soon as possible so my bank can send them the tracer information.

Rev Wally
The Bank

You have to use the below information to forward it to your bank

Contact: : HSBC BANK PLC
E-mail" hsbc.banking@london.com
Manager Name: Janet Allman
Bank Address: HSBC Holdings plc 8 Canada Square London E14 5HQ London United Kingdom.

You have to use the above information to forward it to your bank.

Regard
HSBC BANK PLC

Rev Wally

Dear HSBC Bank:

Please send me Ms Allman's BUSINESS email. It ends in hsbc.com or hsbc.co.uk NOT london.com. The bank will only communicate via the BUSINESS email.

Rev Wally
The Bank
You have to follow our bank instruction. Tel your bank to contact us via email only
You have to tell your bank to send the transfer slip which show that they transfer the fund to our bank and they must sign on the transfer slip and stamp it .. with there bank letter head pepper.
Rev Wally

I spoke with the bank. They will only communicate, via email and supply your requested information to a legitimate HSBC bank manager. All legitimate HSBC managers have BUSINESS email addresses in the domain hsbc.com or, in the UK, hsbc.co.uk, notlondon.com, which is a public email. They are questioning why you are not supplying the proper BUSINESS email. They are also questioning why they can not send the information that you requested, via mail, to HSBC bank address. All genuine banks accept such information through their publicly-known bank branches.

Rev Wally

The Bank

am sorry this our bank instruction.

Your bank must email our bank email to confirm the fund which you transfer,. without your bank sending us email. we will cancel the transaction

regard
HSBC

Rev Wally

ATTENTION: REV WALLY

HAPP NEW YEAR.

I WISH TO BRING A NOTICE TO YOU CONCERN YOUR FUND WHICH IS $10.3M IN OUR HSBC BANK. THE FUND WILL DELIVER TO INDONESIA BY OUR BANK DIPLOMAT AND OUR BANK WANT TO ADVICE YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO GET PREPARING TO TRAVEL TO INDONESIA TO MEET OUR BANK DIPLOMAT SO THAT HE WILL DELIVER YOUR FUND TO YOU IN PERSON.

OUR BANK ARE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AS YOU GET PREPARING FOR YOUR TRAVEL TO INDONESIA BECAUSE OUR BANK DIPLOMAT WILL SOON TRAVEL THERE TO WAIT FOR YOU.

REGARD
HSBC BANK

The Bank

Dear HSBC Management:

I just finished with all the New Year festivities and their accompanying services with parishioners. I am afraid that during this time, I neglected to attend to my email.

My bank, Bartletts, is reluctant to send confidential tracer information to anyone other than a bank. Your behaviour puzzles them. Although HSBC bank branch addresses are known and available on the Internet, you forbid any mailing of this information to your bank manager at your branch address. Then, you demand that Bartletts communicate with this bank via email; this email communication is not directed to known HSBC mail addresses such as hsbc.com or hsbc.co.uk but to some public email domain, london.com. If Bartletts refuses to send this information to your bank manager at the london.com address, you threatened to cancel the bank transfer. Bartletts is highly suspicious. Can you explain your actions?

Now, you want me to travel to Indonesia to meet with your bank diplomat who will turn over $10.3M to me. You failed to provide any details such as the bank diplomat's name, address, telephone, or email. What dates would I meet him? Where? Since I am unfamiliar with Indonesia, it would only be logical that your diplomat arranges to have me met at the airport and taken to a proper hotel. I can reimburse him for any hotel expenses when I come.

I look forward to your reply.

Rev Wally

The Bank

They give me one day to arrange travel to Indonesia to meet their "diplomat" and pay their fees.

Dear Rev Wally

We write to confirm your email and based on our meeting with the courier service firm on the delivery on your fund tagged consignment below are the procedures to enable us have a free delivery to your home.

Due to the recently passed financial laws that bares telegraphic wire transfer of funds of that amount from this country,we have resorted to DIPLOMATIC CASH DELIVERY,in which a professional courier diplomat will deliver your fund cash to you in your Country.Most of our foreign customers who have received their funds by this means applauded it as it is easy, safer and faster.

This has brought our just concluded meeting to compromise, deliberated and signed before we respond to you. Consider it done, if you will respond positively to this E-mail. Note; This is confidentially considered to secure your fund.We guarantee you a hundred percent success.

In the light of the above, our negotiation with the Diplomat with regards his charges today is USD$7,500 and as a gesture to serve you better,Our Office will assist you to pay the diplomat upfront payment of USD$3,000,therefore, when going to meet the Diplomat , have the balance of USD$4,500.00 with you to enable clear your consignment from the Air-port Authority.

And again I want you to know that the diplomat who will be bringing the consignment to Indonesia, does not know the actual content of the consignment. The money is registered as personal valuable items and classified documents. You do not have to let the diplomat know the actual content of the consignment for any reason whatsoever , by paying him immediately you meet him and take your consignment Home peacefully.

Reply urgent and give us the go-ahead to pay the $3,000 to the Diplomat to enable him be in Indonesia with your consignment before the weekend.

Note: You have to travel to Indonesia on Sunday 10th. And you have to make sure that you that go and luge to hotel and wait for the diplomat to come and meet you . As soon you travel to Indonesia on Sunday you have to keep me posted with your hotel telephone number which the diplomat will use to call you.

You have to send me the copy of your international passport and Driver Lienence because it will attached at the bag of your fund which the diplomat will deliver to you.

The name of Diplomat is Mr. James Dibia.

I wait to have the copy of your international passport and Driver Lenience from you soon.

Yours Sincerely in Service

Regard
HSBC BANK

Rev Wally

Now, ask them to book a hotel room for me when I arrive.

Dear HSBC Bank:

It was quite difficult to understand you. You want me to come immediately to Indonesia to meet a diplomat. However, you fail to provide answers to the previous questions as to why you do not want Bartletts bank to contact your manager by mail or even give me the name of the city in Indonesia that I am to fly to. I had to assume that it was Jakarta.

Hence, I had to quickly arrange flights and run around to gather the $4 300 USD needed for the banking diplomat. You really should not insist on last minute arrangements. Consequently, I did not even have time to make hotel reservations.

My hasty flight arrangements are as follows:

I had asked you to make hotel reservations for me as I did not know the city where I would be staying and, due to the last minute arrangements, I do not have time to book a hotel room. Please book a room for me at the JW Marriot Hotel in Indonesia. Then, both you and the diplomat would have my telephone number. Please send me the booking confirmation number. I will reimburse you for the cost upon my arrival. Please also arrange to have me met at the airport.

I look forward to meeting you.

Rev Wally
Rev Wally

Now, ask them to book a hotel room for me when I arrive.

I forgot to attach my ID. It serves for identification purposes in the UK, akin to using a driver's license.

Rev Wally

P.S. Please send me the booking confirmation number and assurances that I will be met at the airport.
The Bank

They refuse to book a hotel room and want me to contact them upon arrival.

You have to cook your flight and travel to Indonesia because the diplomat will leave today to Indonesia.

As soon you arrive to Indonesia you have to email me and give me your hotel room number so that the diplomat will come there and meet you.
Rev Wally

Time to complain that I was not met at the airport nor given a hotel room. Send them on a fruitless errand for a meeting.

Dear HSBC Management:

WHY WAS I NOT MET AT THE AIRPORT? WHY DID YOU NOT BOOK A HOTEL ROOM FOR ME?

Given a very short notice to book flights and gather money for the diplomat in Indonesia, I specifically requested that, in order to save time, that you meet me at the airport and book a hotel. This would save me valuable time when time was in very short supply. Contrary to my instructions, you did neither.

I must say that I am very disappointed in you. You make very sudden, wild changes in plans and do not follow any instructions.

Have your banking diplomat meet me at the Amadeus Coffee House at 11 am on Monday. It is located at the Cilandak Town Square. If he does not meet me there at that time, I will assume that you are not serious and call it off.

Rev Wally
The Bank

If you have arrive to indonesia.

You have to give me your phone number so that i wil call you..

me your indonesia phone..
hotel room number
what colour of clother do you where??

Rev Wally

I send a PaintBrushed fake id (with fake photo) and they ask me what colour clothers that I wear. Time to introduce a fake rival third party with an irresistible deal.

Dear HSBC Management:

You failed to meet me at the coffee house? What is going on? Whenever I make a request of you or ask you a question, you ignore me. WHAT IS GOING ON?

I normally wear blue clothes but that is not a real issue. You had my photo id so it was a simple matter to direct your banking diplomat to the coffee house and ask for my name or,using my photo id, identify me from the crowd. He failed to do it.

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!!! They say that every cloud has a silver lining, which is true. While waiting endlessly for your banking diplomat to show, which he did not, I met a very knowledgeable and agreeable gentleman, Melati, who has a more lucrative proposal that can also be implemented quickly in Indonesia and for less cost than I would have to pay you or your banking diplomat. It is quite an interesting proposal which I am looking up.

Rev Wally
The Bank

The Indonesia meeting failed. Now try to get money through Western Union

You are the one that make mistake.. I tell you that you should provide your phone Indonesia so that i will call you and we will meet there. The diplomat can not be asking for you with the money going around the Indonesia with the money.

The diplomat have return back to London and nothing we can do now. You have to make the payment for the International fund clearance so that our bank will transfer the fund into your bank account.

You have to use the below information to make the payment for the for the International Fund clearance by Western Union and get back to our office.

Use the below information to make the payment via Western Union Transfer.

Receivers Name: Frank James
Destination: Nigeria
City Lagos- Nigeria
Amount: $3,200
Question: Good
Answer: Good
Mtcn Number:
Sender name and address

Receivers Name: Williams Holland
Destination: Nigeria
City Lagos- Nigeria
Amount: $3,200
Question: Good
Answer: Good
Mtcn Number:
Sender name and address

You have to make sure that you use the above information to make the payment by Western Union and get back to me with the information so that we will obtain the International Fund clearance.

The International Fund clearance will obtain at the Nigeria Security company and the document will be only obtain at the Nigeria security company.

I wait to have the payment mtc number from you soon. and as soon you make the payment you have to send me the Western Union transfer slip so that i will obtain the documents

regard
HSCB BANK

Rev Wally

Time to berate them; threaten them with a rival's offer; and give them forms to fill out

Dear HSBC Management:

After one day notice, you want me to jet off to Indonesia. When I asked, due to time constraints and my being busy booking flights and gathering money, to book a hotel room and meet me at the airport, you refused to comply. Upon arrival, I had to make my own arrangements. Then YOU BLAME ME FOR YOUR BLUNDERING. I was expected to give you my hotel room number and wait however long in my room before you called. If yourbanking diplomat could come to my hotel, he could have just as easily met me at the coffee shop. He did not do so. ANOTHER BLUNDER. You do not have a good record and you have a habit of blaming others for your mistakes.

Due to your erratic behaviour, my bank, Bartletts, is suspicious and is unwilling to do any more banking transfers.

I am seriously considering Melati's offer in light of what has happened.

In terms of the International Clearance fund, when I visited my local Moneygram office, I was told that due to recent federal anti-laundering legislation, Moneygram now requires that all fund transfers have the following documents:
1) scan of the passport page of the recipient
2) filled-in forms (attached) and signed by the recipient

These documents are REQUIRED BY LAW. Moneygram WILL NOT send any funds until it receives these documents. Please complete and send all of these documents to me right away.

Rev Wally
The Bank

They, of course, claim they don't have time to fill out these forms. Just send the money.

Dear Rev Wally,

I cant fill the form .. You have to go the Western Union Transfer agent and make the payment because we dont have the time to fill the form because we are all busy.

Go to the Western Union Transfer agent and make the payment anf get back to me with the mctn number.

Regard
HSBC BANK

Rev Wally

Tell them they are required by law to fill in the forms, regardless of whether or not they have time to do so. Bring up the drinking issue (they view drinking as a sign of weakness)

Dear HSBC BANK:

I must say that your reading comprehension of English is extremely poor. Have you been drinking? You know that drinking will kill you. Your behaviour is erratic, to say the least.

As I carefully explained to you, Western Union is REQUIRED BY FEDERAL LAW to have the passport page image of the recipient and filled-in forms. The federal government does not care whether or not you have time to fill out the form; they require the above-mentioned documentation from the recipient as per their regulations.Western Union will not risk breaking the law, with ensuing fines and imprisonment, on anyone's behalf; either they receive the required documentation from the recipient or they MUST REFUSE to send any money.

Where you get the idea that I can simply demand Western Union send you the money and they will comply as per my bidding I do not know? Probably from the bottom of the liquor bottle you consumed (note my earlier warning). Both Western Union and I must obey the federal law; if you are unwilling to do so, then Western Union will not send any funds. It is as simple as that. So quit wasting valuable time and send me the required documentation.

Rev Wally
The Bank

Still stubbornness.

Our bank dont have the time to fill the form. We have been receiving money from USA without fill form and i dont know why this form.

go and make the payment at the Western Union Transfer Agent period
Rev Wally

Explain why they did not have to fill in the forms until now. The new legislation is recent.

I am sorry that your bank don't have time to fill the form. But, according to federal legislation, it MUST BE COMPLETED.

This legislation is fairly recent so depending on the time period that funds were transferred, it may not come into force. In addition, I am not fully aware of what legislation is in effect in the US. Remember, I am from the UK not the US so different laws may apply (something that you obviously forgotten).

You did not heed my previous warning about your drinking. Regardless of my personal feelings in the matter, Western Union will not transfer ANY funds UNTIL it receives the forms and all the proper documentation, AS REQUIRED BY LAW. I can go to my Western Union agent and make a payment, but if they refuse to send the funds to you, what good is that? Rev Wally
The Bank

Your have to go the Western Union agent in UK and make the payment . I dont know why is Harding for you to go at the Western Union agent and make the payment

I wait to for the Mtcn Number.
Rev Wally

Time to berate them. Tell them to fill in the forms and quit sending the same type of email over and over again.

Let me guess, you did not graduate at the top of your class.

I told you that your drinking will affect your judgement and, later on, your life. It is already taking affect. We keep going around the same circle foolishly.

Let's make this simple. I went to my Western Union agent in the UK and gave them a payment. They then asked me for proper documentation - the completed forms and passport page of the recipient. I told them that I did not have them, due to your obstinacy. They then gave me back my money and told me that WITHOUT THIS DOCUMENTATION, THEY ARE LEGALLY PROHIBITED from sending funds. THEY REFUSED TO SEND THE FUNDS!!! It is as simple as that.

Rev Wally
The Bank

They finally got the message. Now they want a credit card.

Dear Rev Wally,

Our bank want to inform you that , you can make the payment via Credit card. You have to send our bank your credit card details so that our bank will re duct the payment from there.

We wait to hear from you soon.

Regard
HSBC BANK

Rev Wally

Dear HSBC Bank:

It was nice to hear from you. Unfortunately, I do not have a credit card so I can not pass any details along to your bank.

Rev Wally
The Bank

A standard fake name to call in Nigeria to arrange for the transaction

Our bank are working on the transaction .. You have to use the below information to call the bank in Nigeria who is incharge to transfer the fund to you.

You have to use the below information to call them immediately as soon you receive this mail.

Bank Name: Intercontinental Bank Plc
name: Rev Dr David Okoh
Phone Number: +2348136048544

You have to use the above phone number and call the bank .

regard HSBC BANK

Rev Wally

I tried to contact the Rev Dr David Okoh several times but no answer each time. What is going on? Why does he not answer his phone? If he is unwilling to answer his phone, then please suggest another contact, preferably email.

Rev Wally

They decided not to pursue the scam any further.