From the archives of Lonslo Tossov comes another tale of the Foreign Office.
Tossov was last seen in REAL IN LOVE 4 U.
His exploits include THIS WILL NOT BE A DRILL, and many others, going back to the classic THE SCAMMISH ARMADA and A REAL CHARLIE.
Here, Tossov becomes caught up in a sticky situation with a Lad posing as a Chinese industralist.
Featuring
Alvin Zhang, as Chinese as he wants to be
versus
Lonslo Tossov - international financier, agent of the Foreign Office, and bon vivant
Alvin Zhang
From: info@info.com
Rm. C, 16F, Bldg. 2, 3500, Dear Sir/Madam, First and Foremost, I wish to introduce to you CITIC GUOAN GROUP LTD. This company was established in 2005 and also Registered with the chinese Government. We Need A Reputable Company/Firm To Serve As Our Payment Collection Agent In North And South America. You Shall Earn 10% Of Every Payment Issued To You On Behalf Of CITIC GUOAN GROUP LTD. Payment Method CHEQUE/WIRE TRANSFER ANY Payment Method You Prefer) To indicate your interest please send to us
Full Names:
Your Sincerly
Hmmm. There is a domain name guoan.com.cn, but no website. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang This may be of interest. We have a business unit in Warm Springs, (Climax, Nevada) which may be able to perform this task for you. It is something we have some experience of here in SA. My contact details are as below as I will have to see more details of the proposed modalities and show my Financial Director Mr Bernard Madoff. I am 56 and CEO. T
Lonslo Tossov Alvin Zhang
From: infoguoanca1@yahoo.cn Payment Receiver Officer, Thank you very much for your response and your interest in this transaction. We appreciate the fact that you are ready to represent this company in your country. You should not have anything to worry about as there shall be no financial requirements from your side.
COMPANY BRIEF HISTORY: PAYMENT METHODS: By Cheque Please Verify This Informations Of Yours Below And State The Country You Are From;
Lonslo Tossov And your work as our Payment Receiver Officer is to Receive the Cheque And Have The Cheque Deposited Into Your Bank Account And Wait For The Clearance Date(Availability Of Funds To You) and then Withdrawn the Payment from your Bank Account And deduct your percentage (10%) from it and the balance made payable in to our designated account outside china that will be availed to you later. However, you are to provide us with any form of identification(scanned drivers license or international passport). These should be sent via email. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerly Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang Thank you for replying so quickly. After some thought and hesitation I have decided to send a scan of my passport, but with some details obscured for reasons of confidentiality. Sending personal documents in this way is rather unorthodox, for one never knows exactly what security arrangements are in place at the other end. I know that here we have problems with sticky-handed natives all the time what with a constant depletion of the stationary cupboard, cigars missing from my desk, executive toilet rolls misappropriated and so on. Mr Madoff at our end has asked for some corresponding proof of identity from yourselves, perhaps from the payment officer, which I am sure will not be a problem. Once the formalities are out of the way, how soon can we expect to start the business? I am asking as I have to be away for a few days shortly at the Smegaroon Golf Tourney. We sponsor Ginger Merkin, the local favourite, and I want to be at his side for photography as he tees off. You have my details correct. Lonslo
Lonslo Tossov PS As previously mentioned we are based in South Africa with a USA office. Alvin Zhang
Payment Receiver Officer, Thank You Very Much For Your Prompt Response. I Will Prefer The Cheque Be Dealth With In (Climax, Nevada) United States Of America,So Kindly And Humbly Send Me Your America Unit In Warm Springs, (Climax, Nevada) United States Of America Informations Below,Because My Customer Within The Jurisdiction Has Made His Intention To Initiate Payment This New Week; The Full Name The Cheque Can Be Issue On : The Complete Contact Address The Cheque Can Be Sent To :
Occupation : An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerly Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang The details are as follows:
Tossov Investments (USA) Inc c/o Jackie Lation
He is 49. When will the documentation be despatched? I am sure he will only be satisfied once he has it in his hand. If you need to call, please ask for Mr Lation who will come at once. TossovLonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang Please use the Bushey Park address for these modalities rather than the Mountain View I first told you. Going straight down to Bushey is the best way, I have been reminded by my secretary. LonsloAlvin Zhang
Payment Receiver Officer, I Must Thank You With The Way You Are Responding And Your America Details That The Cheque Will Be Issued To,The America Details Is Well Acknowledged. I Will Notify You When My Customer Initiate The Payment By Cheque To This Details Below;
Tossov Investments (USA) Inc c/o Jackie Lation
He is 49. Meanwhile A New Customer Just Notify Me Of Making Payment Tomorrow 11th August 2010 And This New Customer Says He Will Be Initiating The Payment As Wire Transfer From His Home Equilty Line Of Credit(Heloc) Into Your Own Home Equilty Line Of Credit(Heloc) So You Are To Fill The Details Below For This New Payment Tomorrow So That Means You Will Be Expecting Two Payments(One By Cheque And The Second Via My New Customer Home Equilty Line Of Credit(Heloc) Into Your Own America Home Equilty Line Of Credit(Heloc). As You Are Not In United States Of America,You Can Instruct Your Financial Co-ordinator( Jackie Lation) To Fill The Informations Below For This Urgent Payment Tomorrow.
1)Are you a property owner in the united states YES/NO An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Your Sincerly Engr.Alvin Zhang(CEO). CITIC GUOAN GROUP. www.guoan.com.cn Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang I am pleased that matters are proceeding quickly to Climax. It will be satisfying when done. I am not sure that the information you ask is relevant and and do not know why it is required. Mr Jackie Lation is a paid employee of this company and surely such personal details are hardly relevant to business contracted to him on our behalf? It would be highly irregular. I have asked our HR Manager here, Mr Ivor Bonar, and he agrees that he has hardly known it come up before now. TOSSOVAlvin Zhang
Payment Receiver Officer, This Is To Acknowledged Your Complete Informations And I Have Forwarded It To My Customer Who Want To Make Payment,So Immediately He Initiate The Payment By Cheque,I Will Notify You In Other For You To Notify Your Employee In Climax Neveda To Be Expecting It And As Soon As He Receive The Cheque He Will Deposite It Into Your Company Bank Account In Climax Neveda For Clearance And Immediately It Clear You Will Take Away Your 10% As Your Entitlement And Send The Balance 90% To A Designated Bank Account I Will Avail To You Later. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerly Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang This is excellent news. All in Climax I am sure will be very excited at it coming so quickly. I will tell them the timing on the 10% entitlement agreed. We would not want to try withdraw too quickly after all. Is there any way we can help with the other business you mentioned? Tossov Alvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED TODAY PLEASE) Payment Receiver Officer, How Are You Doing Today??? I Am Not Happy At All,My Customer Just Contacted Me With Annoyance That The Telephone Number : (602) 728-3241 c/o Jackie Lation Did Not Go Through Because My Customer Said He Has Already Issue The Cheque On Tossov Investments (USA) Inc And He Just Wanted To Speak With Lation Before Sending The Cheque To Him,But The Telephone Number Did Not Go Through,So I Need A Valid Cell Phone Number That Any Time My Customer Decide To Contact Mr Lation,He Will Pick Up The Call. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerly Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang I don't understand, we have had no cheque from you at this office. Are you sure that is correct? I think I would notice it. The phone number for Jackie Lation is correct, please ask for him or his assistant Hugh Jereckshon. Kind regardsAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(PAYMENT NOTIFICATION BY CHEQUE HAVE BEEN SEND OUT TO YOU,SO BE EXPECTING IT). Payment Receiver Officer, I must Thank You For Your Response. My Customer Just Notify Me Today That He Has Already Issued Out The Cheque Of ($920,000) And Send To The Details Below.
Tossov Investments (USA) Inc c/o Jackie Lation So Be Expecting The Cheque And When Receive Kindly Deposite It into your Company Bank Account And inform me of the Clearance Date of the Cheque,I Mean the Date of Availability of the Funds to You By the Bank,So that I Can Give You Further Instructions. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerly Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang This is splendid news. I hope and trust it was sent by secure courier service? As soon as your little package comes we shall act upon it. The thrust of our business is always to give full satisfaction. Feel free to suggest any further business we can help you with. Kind regards TossovAlvin Zhang
10 days go by and "Alvin" becomes impatient Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(MY CUSTOMER SAYS YOU OUGHT TO HAVE RECIEVE AND DEPOSITE THE CHEQUE BY NOW,SO UPDATE ME PLEASE) Payment Receiver Officer, My Customer That Issued Out Cheque Of ($920,000) Said You Ought To Have Recieve The Cheque And Deposite It By Now So Kindly inform me of the Clearance Date of the Cheque,I Mean the Date of Availability of the Funds to You By the Bank,So that I Can Give You Further Instructions. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerly Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang Apologies for the delay. I was awaiting a confirmation from our Climax office of the arrival of your cheque. Mr Lation says he thinks it has just been received and will be deposited shortly. We are all very impressed by your efficiency I can tell you. Business intercourse is made all the more satisfying by such professionalism. Lonslo Alvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(WAITING FOR THE CLEARANCE DATE TODAY AFTER DEPOSITING THE CHEQUE.) Payment Receiver Officer, Please Ask Mr Lation To Deposite The Cheque Into Your Company Bank Account Today So As To Know The Clearance Date of the Cheque,I Mean the Date of Availability/Release of the Funds to You By the Bank,So that I Can Give You Further Instructions. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Aug. 24 Dear Mr Zhang Jackie Lation says the cheque will deposited today either by himself or his office manager Craven Moorhead. Clearance is normally three working days. Of course it might come off sooner. Lonslo Alvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(STILL WAITING FOR THE EXACT CLEARANCE DATE PLEASE) Payment Receiver Officer, Still Waiting For The Exact Clearance Date of the Cheque,I Mean the Date of Availability/Release of the Funds to You By the Bank,So that I Can Give You Further Instructions. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Whang Jackie Lation has confirmed today that cheque will definitely clear by this friday. But says sometimes he has known it coming prematurely, but I don't think we should consider it an embarrassment as others might. I hope that is of a help. TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(BANK ACCOUNT DETAIL FOR THE TRANSFER OF BALANCE 90%) Payment Receiver Officer, I Must Thank You For Your Co Operation So Far.Immediately The Funds Is Made Available To Your Company By The Bank Today As Stated By Mr Jackie Lation,Kindly Take Away Your 10% As Your Entitlement Out Of The Total Funds Received And Transfer The Balance 90%To The Account Details Below;
BANK : CITIBANK Immediately You Transfer The Balance Funds(90%) To The Bank Account Detail Above Today Do Scan And Send Me A Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip For Confirmation. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang This will have to be done next week. Unfortunately, our Climax office is closed monday due to a staff training day and some staff are on vacation. But we are looking for Jackie Lation, and will endeavour to firm things up as soon as possible. TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(TREAT WITH URGENCY) Payment Receiver Officer, Please You Have To Contact Mr Jackie Lation Today And Instruct Him To Initiate The Wire Transfer Of The Balance 90% Of The Total Amount Received After You Must Taken Away Your Entitlement(10%),As They Are Already Awaiting The Bank Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip In DUBAI,U.A.E. Please Employ Swift Response Urgently. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Zhang Jackie Lation is imminent. Do you wish us to make a last minute withdrawl? It may be hard to do. TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(CAN YOU PLEASE UPDATE BY SENDING THE SCAN COPY OF THE TRANSFER SLIP OF THE BALANCE 90%) Payment Receiver Officer, Why No Response To My Mail Since Yesterday??? An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang Our apologies for the delay in making quick response to your three last mails. Our communications officer this end, Eric Shun, was trying to get Jackie Lation to come on the phone, but it proved a little too hard. However, he now tells me all is in hand and there should be no more drawbacks. Have you received the scan copy yet? TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(PLEASE RE SEND THE SCAN COPY OF THE TRANSFER SLIP PLEASE) Payment Receiver Officer, Apology Accepted. I Have Not received The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip,So Re Send The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip Today. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang I will have Jackie Lation put a spurt on in this matter as soon as possible. Tossov Alvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(TREAT WITH URGENCY TODAY) Payment Receiver Officer, Please Instruct Mr Jackie Lation Today And Instruct Him To Initiate The Wire Transfer Of The Balance 90% Of The Total Amount Received After You Must Taken Away Your Entitlement(10%),As They Are Already Awaiting The Bank Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip In DUBAI,U.A.E. Please Employ Swift Response Urgently. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang I will ensure that things are brought off as soon as possible. Incidentally, are you familair with one of our best asian clients, Spanking The Monkey Productions? I have been told they might have a hand in your parts. TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(WHY THE DELAY IN SENDING ME THE SCAN COPY OF THE TRANSFER SLIP???) Payment Receiver Officer, Why The Delay In Sending Me The Scan Copy Of The Bank Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip You Use In Transfering The Balance 90%. Your Delay In Sending Me The Scan Copy Of The Bank Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip In Causing Delay The Second Batch Payment Of $1,250,000,Because The Cobfirmation Of The This First Payment,I Will Now Give Me Customer Go Ahead To Make The Second Batch Payment Of $1,250,000. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang I can assure you that we have no intention in jerking you around in this matter. Jackie Lation assured me that he is on the job and that all is to hand. TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(WHY THE SILIENCE AGAIN???) Payment Receiver Officer, I Am Still Awaiting The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip Today. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again.
Your Sincerely Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhan Have you had Jackie Lation very recently either on the phone or via email? He assures me that he sent the paperwork personally. Normally it is transmitted automatically, but since we are running late and you have sent so many messages (4 or 5 today) to ensure your satsifaction it was a hand job. I hope that it has come out well. Please confirm TossovAlvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA. Payment Receiver Officer, Have Mr Jackie Lation Send You The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip Of $828,000 As Of Now???After Your 10% Have Been Taken Away From The Total Amount Received($920,000)Please I Am Waiting For A Copy For Confirmation. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang Thank you for the multiple comings of your emails today. Jackie Lation has shot off something to you only a few hours ago, I would be very surprised if it not been received to your full satisfaction Please double check. I hope you do not think that we are jerking you around. Tossov Alvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA(PLEASE SEND ME THE SCAN COPY OF THE BANK TELEX TRANSFER SLIP TODAY) Payment Receiver Officer, Please And Please Send Me The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip Of $828,000(90%) Today,Please And Please I Am Pleading With You To Please Scan And Send Me The Transfer Slip You Use In Transfering The Balance 90% Into The Dubai Bank Account Detail I Already Sent To You As This Issue Is Causing Serious Trouble Among The Board Of Directors And Board Of Trustees. Your Delay In Sending The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip Of $828,000(90%) Is Also Delaying The Initiation Of The Second Batch Payment Of $1,250,000 And I Am Not Happy With The Way You Are Handling This Issue. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhan Please stop this begging and whining tone, it is most unbusiness-like! Mr Jackie Lation has told me quite firmly that he has got it off. Once indeed, directly by hand as a special favour. Those in Climax ough to know, after all. If you cannot locate its arrival your end then we cannot be held responsible. I hope this is not a mess we are expected to clear up. Tossov Alvin Zhang
Subject: CITIC GUOAN GROUP CHINA Payment Receiver Officer, Please Can I Know The Amount That Was Sent By Mr Jackie Lation???As You Said That Mr Jackie Lation Has Transfer The Balance Money. You Where The One That Send Me Your Scan Copy Of Your Identification,Why Are You Now Finding It Difficult To Send Me The Scan Copy Of The Bank Telex Confirmation Transfer Payment Slip??? Like I Told You I Am Not Happy At All With The Way You Handling This Issue,Particularly At This Crucial Moment When Another Payment Is To Be Initiated,But Delayed Due To The Non Conclusion Of This First Payment. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhan Do you mean to say you have not yet received Mr Lation's paperwork? We are beginning to wonder if your purpose is serious with all thats come from your end. This is not just playing around you know, and there are business standards. We have a prominent firmness in these matters, and like to think it stands out in all our handlings. TAlvin Zhang
Payment Receiver Officer, Is Clear That You And Mr Jackie Have Decided To Play Games With Me,Please Dont Write Me And Be Asking If I Receive Slip That Was Never Sent By You Or Jackie. Just Want To Thank You For Playing Games With Me. An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you once again. Lonslo Tossov
Dear Mr Zhang I am sorry that you feel that way. I have checked with our Climax office this morning and it appears that Jackie Lation has not been feeling himself of late, due to a vaccination he had some days ago in prepartion for a business trip. It is unusual for him to complain of such a little prick, but these things happen. He felt listless and limp performing his duties, I'm told and so it may have effected his efficiency in these matters. Do you still wish to continue in this matter? T But he didn't... |