YOU'RE THE JOKER ROUND HERE

We close out 2015 with a Skype scambait from Mal Reynolds, hero of so many tales, to mention just a few:
A PLEADING OF ORPHANS - Mal Reynolds versus five Lads, with recorded phone calls!
I ASK THAT WE SHOULD BURY THE HATCHET - Mal Reynolds vs one disposable Barrister after another
I WILL USE MY AFRICA NATIVE JUJU TO KILL YOU THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY - Mal Reynolds tries to help a scammer come out of the closet

Sometimes Lads just destroy their scams without any work from the baiter... And sometimes they do that for the dumbest reasons.

This bait took place entirely on Skype.

The Scammer
Mr. Antony Jenkins, "citizen of England... Chief Executive of Barclay Bank Plc"

The Baiter
Malcolm Reynolds - our hero

The (real) Anthony Jenkins was CEO at Barclays until summer 2015. This Lad is not the real Antony Jenkins. But you knew that. If you did not know that, or if it is not obvious from the following, read the main page and all its links, out loud.
And now on with the scambait.


Mr. Antony Jenkins

03 July 2015

Dear friend, It is nice and wonderful to make contact with you today. As a matter of fact I am Mr. Antony Jenkins , I am citizen of England I am Chief Executive of Barclay Bank Plc. And I want to trust you with this money (US$24.2 million) for investment in your country.

Presently, I am in grip of this fund "Twenty Four million two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars" readily available for you and I to share, and I am seeking for your cooperation to transfer this money to your place.

I realized this money as part of unclaimed deposited funds in our Bank since 2002 by a dead foreign customer who deals on Gold and Precious stones here in London before his death. And I can not find any of his family information and no body knows about this. Immediately when I realized this fund $24.2m, I placed it on Sundry Escrow Account here in our bank without any beneficiary information and no person knows about this money.

Now I chose you to be my partner and I want this money to be transferred to your bank account in your country or any where of your choice. Then apply to our Bank head-office as the beneficiary of this fund, And I will send you every information as beneficiary prove for this money. Sincerely, I am ready to give you 45% of the US$24.2m while 55% will be for me, as soon as this US$24.2m is transferred into your bank account in your country. This is bank to bank transfer, therefore, I assure you there is no problem in this transaction.

Please urgently reply my email for more details. antonyjen4@gmail.com

Best regards,
Mr. Antony Jenkins

Dear reader, the highlighted bits are the Dead Giveaways of the Dead Bank Customer format.
There will be expenses involved with 'applying' to be the beneficiary of this imaginary account. The scammer will kindly offer to procure the services of an in-country functionary to handle it all. You will have to pay for those services. No, the payment may not come out of the imaginary funds. You will be asked, then urged, perhaps bullied, to send a money order to cover the 'services'. That is the scam. Even in 2015 it seems necessary to explain this to many.
Mal Reynolds, of course, has seen it all before.

Standard Dead Bank Customer fare; however, no reason to decline his contact offer.

Malcolm Reynolds has shared contact details with Antony jenkins.


Mal: Acknowledged.

So, let's see where this goes...

03 July 2015

Lad: Hi
Lad: Thanks for accepting me
Lad: Peace and success to you and family
Mal: You chose the wrong time to make contact... it's nearly midnight here.
Lad: Oh..I see
Lad: I sent you a message proposal
Lad: Have not read and understand the me content of the message?
Mal: Yes, I read it.
Lad: So, tel me you opinion about it
Mal: Another time. It's late.
Lad: Are you interested if you can handle this fund intoyour account safe?
Lad: Let me have your email address to be sure, while i sent you a message as details
Mal: I'll email you.
Lad: Alright then
Lad: Nice talking with you July 4 is Mal's birthday. For the Lad, it was not going to go well. 04 July 2015
Mal: Good evening Mr Jenkins - sorry for not emailing you but July Fourth was a distraction.
Lad: Quite well... Many wishses of a great faith my friend happy Birthday to you
Mal: That too.
Lad: Congratulations
Lad: So, Let me have the email while we proceed
Mal: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lad: A moment for a message send through this address...
Mal: I can ask this now - who was the dead guy?
Lad: Sorry, was messaging to you
Lad: He was Mr, Reynold Woodfield
Lad: I have sent you the message already
Mal: It hasn't shown up.
Mal: Did you get the address right?
Mal: Still nothing.
Lad: Check again
Mal: It hasn't arrived.
Lad: Well, i just discovered message fail to delivered
Mal: My address is correct.
Lad: Can you correct the address
Mal: It is correct.
Lad: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lad: like this?
Mal: Exactly that.
Lad: Ok, text me a small message while i reply back in thesame medium
Lad: Here my email
Mal: I know your email
Mal: I just sent you one.
Lad: Ok, then...
Lad: I did received your message my friend...
Lad: Are we there?
Mal: I'm here.
Lad: Ya, the message..
Lad: Need this personal details from you
Mal: Did you send me that email after all?
Lad: Yeah, message have i sent to your email box
Mal: Waiting...
Lad: The message is there already in ym
Mal: YM?
Lad: Yea
Mal: Whatever that is.
Lad: Yeah, yahoo mesanger
Mal: I don't have that option.
Mal: Just send an email!
Lad: Sorry my friend, but your email address is yahoo mesanger
Lad: So, you check at yahoo mesanger
Mal: What are you talking about?
Mal: It's a yahoo email account. I know zilch about "yahoo mesanger"
Mal: Unless you mean Yahoo chat, and that doesn't accept emails.
Mal: And you'd need yahoo email to chat with yahoo, and you're on gmail.
Lad: Look realise the address you gave me i yahoomail not gmail
Lad: So, that was why my message never delivered
Mal: Mr Jenkins - just send me an email.
Mal: Reply to the one you received.
Mal: That's all.
Lad: I did, but still delivered fail
Mal: Reply to my email.
Mal: No way that should fail.
Lad: But, when i use my private Yahoomail it was accepted
Lad: So, if you have yahoomail check on it
Mal: Mr Jenkins - my account is open - nothing from you has arrived
Lad: Which of the account, Yahoomail or gmail?
Mal: Nothing, Mr Jenkins, nothing.
Lad: But, you said the option Yahoomail have not?
Mal: Do you have any gorram idea what you're doing?
Mal: It's an email account. You send emails to it!
Lad: What did you mean?
Mal: Forget "mesanger"
Mal: Just reply to my email - the one that you said you'd received.
Lad: I told you your account is yahoomail not gmail and they can't work together
Mal: What the hell? Gmail can send to yahoo.
Lad: Do think i'm here for jokes?
Lad: Do they joke with such amount
Mal: Sure looks like it if you think that gmail and yahoo can't send emails to each other!
Lad: I have a gmail account wich you know, and while you send me yahoomail
Mal: So what? Gmail can write to yahoo.
Mal: Just not chat!
Lad: They don't mach my friend,
Lad: Yo send, yeah, but i can't deliver back to you
Mal: That's rubbish!
Lad: Oh, you think so?
Lad: Are you really geting what am saying?
Mal: I am getting what you are saying. You are also wrong.
Lad: Did you have yahomail account?
Mal: I gave you a yahoo account!
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle!
Mal: y7mail is a yahoo account.
Lad: Damm right, now your talking
Lad: And, i have sent a message through
Mal: You can reply to it from gmail.
Mal: No... nothing
Lad: But it never accept
Lad: What did you mean nothing?
Mal: You haven't sent me anything. No message arrived. No email hit the inbox.
Lad: Look my friend we have come to an understanding, i have sent you a message through my own private yahoomail
Lad: And it was succeded
Mal: But it hasn't arrived.
Mal: I don't know what you're doing wrong, but it's annoying.
Lad: Ok, for an example..my ym. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lad: Am even more annyed than you think
Mal: I doubt it.
Lad: But it's a sacrifice i must pay attention to annoying or not
Lad: What did you mean, in doubt?
Mal: I've seen some seriously pissed off people in my time. I doubt that you could be more annoyed than they were.
Lad: So, what next
Lad: Havn't still received yet?
Mal: You check your yahoo mail
Lad: Alright
Lad: Received now?
Mal: Did you receive my email?
Lad: My goodness..I have repled already
Mal: I'll check it later.
Lad: Send me your personal details
Mal: There's been too much confusion.
Lad: We have been here together
Lad: Let me the reply imidiately my friend
Mal: Mr Jenkins, some good manners on your part would be appreciated.
Lad: My friend let me this details now
Lad: To help me start working on this issue
Mal: Good manners? You do remember them?
Lad: If not of your age, there's not that will be convinced as joker
Mal: Sorry, what?
Lad: I said, your too old for this joke
Mal: I'm 47 and deadly serious.
Lad: Kindly send me this details i need from you first
Mal: I expect good manners from you.
Mal: Not mere demands.
Lad: You have received the message and i seek for this informations from you
Mal: I will reply, in my own good time.
Lad: Oh, are mad at me
Mal: No, just aware that there's no need to hurry.
Lad: Actaully, there's
Mal: There's what?
Lad: I'm the one whos leg is in the shoes, so i know where and how to feel the pain
Lad: Understand?
Mal: No, actually I don't.
Mal: Speak plainly please.
Lad: Fine, so it's better we cooperate together in other to succeed in success
Mal: That's better.
Lad: Arr we there?
Mal: Where?
Lad: If, this personal information has been send to my email?
Lad: It's not as if i'm in hurry, but it's because, this personal details i will replace as advertising in our bank management database computer entire network system as the next of kin and beneficiary to the late Mr, Woodfield
Mal: Let me make some things clear to you.
Lad: I will actually be living the office very soon in a shot while
Mal: If we are to work together, you will treat me with politeness and respect. I will return the favor. Remember this; you get what you give.
Lad: Actually right my friend
Mal: Damn right I'm right!
Lad: But, we were all confues and thesame time made understanding to our selves
Lad: The fault was from those account
Mal: I knew what I meant.
Lad: Even if you have a gmail account now as we speak, just try to send a text to your yahoo email to verify what i meant as well
Mal: I don't have a gmail account.
Lad: But yahoo can deliver to gmail, the other way round it can't
Mal: Bullshit.
Lad: So, my friend don't be offended
Mal: Oh for fuck's sake - nothing!
Mal: You don't know how emails work and you say you sent emails but they never arrive. Maybe you're the gorram joker around here.

That was the killer blow.
I never heard from Anthony Jenkins again.