WATCHING THE DICTATiVES

The flip-off nov 7

Another superb yet pathetic attempt at political satire by the Lads, in which they try to impersonate staff of Nigeria's Economic and Financial Crimes Commission.

Lewd teams up with them to crack down on scammers and finally rid the world of 419-frurdstars, swendlers, dupers and crudes. He and the dictatives of the EFCC are out to kick some lad butt.

featuring
Henry Car - Chief Dictative (Detective, maybe?) for the EFCC
David Terevoro - Another EFCC Dictative
Walter Ukaegbu - Representative of the President of Nigeria
Benjamin Ikedi - EFCC Barrister
Alhamza Mustafa - Head of Remittance
with the assistance of
Lewd Noogie - International Hotel Consultant, Former Scam Victim
and in a supporting role: Western Union
and introducing: Money Gram
They're big and red just because.

[We do not know if the names the scammers use here belong to real EFCC personnel.]
Henry Car

Henry Car henry car <henrycar@walla.com>
Sent : Friday, August 19, 2005 2:27 PM
Subject : CRIME FIGHTERS
X-Originating-IP: [212.199.254.98] [68.142.200.153]

FROM THE OFFICE OF(EFCC) THE ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION NIGERIA

AN INFORMATION SEARCH IN OUR WEB REVEALED THAT YOU WERE INVOLVED IN A FRAURD SCAN BY SOME OF OUR NIGERIAN FRAURD STARS WHO DESPITE OUR STIET POLICIES AND MEASURES TO COMBIT FINANCIAL CRIMES HAS RESOLIRD NOT TO ABIDE BY THE LAWS AND OTHERS OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ,ON THIS NOTE WE THE ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC ) HAS RESOLVED WITH THE FEDERAL GOVNMENT AND THE NIGERIAN POLICE TO WORK IN HAND WITH THE VICTIMS OF THIS SWINDLERS TO TRACK THEM DOWN ,WE THEREFORE URGE YOU TO KINDLY CORPRATE WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT BY MAKING AVAILABLE TO US THESE INFORMATIONS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.....................

THE NAMES OF THE HUDLUMS WITH THERE PHONE NUMBER /EMAIL ADRESS WITH THE MODE OF THE PAYMENT DONE(ie)PAID AND HOW?.

YOUR NAME ON THE DOCUMENTARY IN WHICH YOU WERE SWINDLED AND FOR WHAT PORPOSE YOU WERE SWINDLED.

YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER ,FAX AND LOCATION,.

WE ASSURE YOU THAT EVERTHING THAT WAS COLLECTED FROM YOU WILL BE SEND BACK TO YOU IMMEDIATLY WE GET TO THEM.PLS TRY AND REPLY US AT OUR PRIVATE EMAIL ADRESS.

chillyclinton@yahoo.com

THANKS .REGARDS.MR,HENRY ,,
CHIEF DICTATiVE OFFICER .



Lewd Noogie

August 20, 2005

Mr. Henry,

It is true that I was a victim of an advanced-fee fraurdstar there in Nigeria. I am very pleased to see that something is being done to confront those bastards, but do you really think you can help me recover at least part of the money I lost?

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Henry Car

Wed, 24 Aug 2005

Thank you for your massage well noted ,we are happy to hear from you now ,We are here for people like you ,

as a matter of fact we have helped so many people in recorvering their looted funds and yours shall not be exceptional.

We in the EFCC team does not spare anybody when it comes to cases as yours.However,we shall with immediate effect take action on this subject matter .

We will appreciate if you can funish us with the following informations

(1) THE TELEPHONE NUMBER OF THE FRAUDSTARS
(2) THEIR ADDRESSES
(3) HOW MUCH DID YOU LOOSE TO THEM
(4) THROUGH WHICH MEDIUM WAS THIS MONEY PAID TO THEM
(5) THE MASTER COPY WHICH THEY SENT TO YOU AND THE PAYMENT SCHEDULE FOR OUR OFFICIAL REFFRENCE

Kindly supply us with the following
(1) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER
(2) YOUR ADDRESS (OFFICE/RESIDENCE)
(3) YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENCE

Please we shall require all these informations as fast as possible in order to facilitate our opperations urgently.

THANK YOU
REGARDS
DICTATIVE HENRY
FOR ,ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION
(EFCC)



Lewd Noogie

August 25, 2005

Mr. Henry,

I can't tell you how happy I am that you and your organization exist and are there to help people like myself. I wish nothing but the best to you and your department and I am prepared to offer any help I can to shag these rascals.

I am sorry to say that I no longer have the complete documentation of the deal with the fraudstars. Much of it was destroyed in a fit of rage when I discovered that I had been swindled by these hudlums. I will offer what I have and can remember.

1. Telephone number of the fraudstars - They gave me a number but I never used it as they always called me. I have not been able to locate it yet but will continue to search.

2. Their Addresses - Same thing. I may have it somewhere and will continue to look for it.

3. Amount lost - $17,500.

4. Method of Payment - wire transfer to:
Bank: Dresdnerbank Ag,
Hamburg Germany.
BLZ : 200 800 00
Account Name: Konpart Gmbh
A/C: 03204 89300
Beneficiary: O. I . T. C

5. Master Copy and Payment Schedule - I'm not sure what you need here. There was no payment schedule as such, just a demand that I send the money to the above account.

For your reference:

1. My name - Lewis D. Noogie
2. Address - at the time of the swindle I was residing at: : c/o Hui Tebya Hotel, Novosibirsk, Latvia
3. Current Address: c/o Zayebis Hotel and Resort, Gadyukina, Kurgan Oblast, Russian Federation Tel: 7-095-964-8597
Fax: n/a
Email: ***********@*******.com

3. Passport - I am currently consulting to a small resort hotel here in Russia and they do not have a scanner. If you will tell me what information you require from my passport I will be happy to send it to you by email.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is any other information you require. Once again let me say that I'm quite pleased you're after those rapscallions.

Sincerely, Lewd Noogie


[The bank account is that of Chukwubueze "Chuks" Ikechukwu, my very first scam-baitee...]


Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 25 Aug 2005

Thank you for the little information which you have been able to provide for us and i want promise you that am going to put down the best of my experience in the field of dictativity.

wright now my men are going to start their tresses with immediate effect.

We do not need your photograph for any thing harmful rather for the purpose of fund claiming as part of the EFCC lay down rulls.

I shall get back to you on any development, meanwhile, i have decided to change my email address to henry01@wall.com due to pressure on me from those asking for help from me in the area of looted funds.

What i actually did now is that i have taken few of you that i want to assit first before another set of people inorder to reduce pressure of work on me.

I will still need the other informations as soon as they are ready.

Please do email me with the new address above.

REGARDS
Dictactive Officer
Henrycar
for EFCC



Lewd Noogie

August 25, 2005

Mr. Car,

I am very grateful that I am one of the people you will be assisting and I do thank you for that.

I shall continue to search for the rest of the information you requested. In the meantime, is there not something else we can do to close in on the fraudstars? I don't want to seem to be rushing you but I don't want the trail to grow cold.

Let me know.

By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.).
Lewd



David Terevoro

Thu, 25 Aug 2005

Dear, Lewd Noogie

Thank you so much for this details,we are going to start work immediatly ,so this is the email of the dictative department ,dictative_efcc@yahoo.com,dont reply anywhere again,mr kingsley have already done his own duty ,

so do not reply him again ,please we need a scan of your passport photograph now so that we can start immediatly .

dictative department (economic and financial crime commision )(EFCC)


[Not sure who Mr. Kingsley is but I guess I shouldn't talk to him anymore...]


Lewd Noogie

August 25, 2005

As I explained earlier, I do not at this time have a way of scanning my passport.

Please, I understand that you are from the EFCC dictative department, but in the future please indicate your name at the end of each email. I like to know who I'm working with.

Thanks, Lewd



David Terevoro

Thu, 25 Aug 2005

This is dictative David head of dictative depertment am going to call you now ok , make sure you are there now to pick up your phone

thanks. REGARDS DICTATIVE DAVID TEREVORO



David Terevoro

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 Dear,Lewd Noogie ,

We will like you to go to our website for confirmation . The site is ,,,,efccnigeria.org.

THE PROCEDING DETAILS ARE AS STATED..............................................

(1) YOU HAVE TO REGISTER YOUR CASE IN OUR OFFICE WHICH YOUR NAME WILL BE USED AS THE SWENDLER,CASE REGISTRATION IS $300,00

(2) YOU HAVE TO REGISTER AGAIN AT OUR INTERPOL OFFICE WHICH IS $300,00

(3)YOU HAVE TO REGISTER YOUR CASE IN THE HIGH COURT AS THE SWENDLER IN CASE WE RETRIVE THE MONEY SO THAT IT WILL BE EASY FOR YOU TO TAKE IT BACK,

AGAIN YOU NEED AN AFFIDAVITE FROM THE HIGH COURT ,BOTH OF THEM WILL COST YOU $400,00

WHICH IS $ 1000,00 ONLY THATS ALL.

YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND SEND IT TO WESTER UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THIS NAME MARK COLE LAGOS NIGERIA,

WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU

BUT WE CALLED YOU TODAY ,IT WAS RINGING NO REPLY ,WHY?

AGAIN I MUST TELL YOU THAT AFTER THIS YOUR HAPPINESS IS ASSURED

REGARDS.
DIC,DAVID

[Dic.......Appropriate title.]


Lewd Noogie

August 26, 2005

dick. Terevoro,

I'm sorry I wasn't here to take your call; your email came after I had left the office.

I have a bit of a problem sending you the $1,000 by Western Union. You see, I'm consulting to a small resort hotel here in Russia. Gadyukina is a small village in the Ural mountains and there is not a Western Union for hundreds of miles. Does the EFCC have an account that I could do an online transfer to?

Lewd



David Terevoro

Fri, 26 Aug 2005

THANK YOU WE ARE GOING TO SEND DOWN AN ACCOUNT NUMBER TO LETTER TODAY ,DID YOU CHECK THE WEBSITE?,IF YES TELL ME WHAT YOU SAW,

MAKE SURE YOU SEND IT TODAY PLEASE FOR FAST ASSESMENT
DICTATIVE DEPARTMENT

EFCC.
DIC,DAVID


[I keep wondering who this guy Kingsley is that I'm not supposed to be talking to any more...]


Lewd Noogie

August 26, 2005

dick. Terevoro,

I just received a note from Mr. Kingsley of your department. He tells me that because of your workload my case has been reassigned to him. I just want to say thank you for your time and I hope he pursues my case as vigorously as you have. I must say I have been quite pleased and impressed with your department's response.

Many thanks,
Lewd



David Terevoro

Fri, 26 Aug 2005

dont attentend to anyone ,we have so many frurdsstars here now ,please we dont have kingsley in our department pls go ahead and do what i told you ,

dont listen to any body and dont reply any body ok ,do as i say today ,if you want to know it for real tell him to give you our website ,dont tell him i have given you ,just ask him for his identity card and our website thas all.

so am still going to give you the account number as discoursed today ok

dictative david
(efcc nig)



David Terevoro

Fri, 26 Aug 2005

PLEASE MR,LEWD

WE HAVE FAKE EFCC HERE IN AFRICA PLEAS DONT ANSWER ANYBODY ,THEY WILL COME IN BETWEEN YOU AND US AND TAKE INFORMATIONS ABOUT YOU AFTER THEY WILL USE IT ON US AGAIN AND TAKE YOUR MONEY THAT WE HAVE DISCOVER SO DONT PLS FOR SECURITY REASONS,DONT WRITE TO ANY OTHER PERSON PLS

DICTATIVE DAVID
(EFCC)NIG



Lewd Noogie

August 26, 2005

dick. Terevoro,

dick. Kingsley is telling me to respond only to him as he fears there may be a criminal within your department and has asked me to help him set up a sting to catch them. He apparently works for your Internal Affairs Division. I assured him that I was quite confident of your honesty but he said that it would be better if I not responed to you so that you don't get caught up in the trap he is going to set.

dick. Terevoro, I have been quite satisfied by your eagerness to help with my case and I certainly would not want to see your image tarnished during the apprehension of a criminal within your department. Be very careful how you conduct yourself while dick. Kingsley's investigation is ongoing. I have asked that once the criminal has been caught that you be reassigned to my case to help catch the frurdstars that swendled me.

I'll talk with you then.
Lewd


[Aha! Results already! Two of the kingpins are captured! The scammers are going DOWN!]


David Terevoro

Fri, 26 Aug 2005

DEAR,LEWD,

This is an information given to you from another person not me ,but iwant you to know that i am the chief of dictative department i am the person that discharge duties for all of them ,but your own case is beyound little intelligents,i am the person handling your case and i will do it till the end of it right now we arrested some of this swendlers yesterday ,he dont have the right to tell me what to do ,by yesterday you told me he said i gave him the duty do to much works now he is telling you on how to arrest me on the trap he is setting and who is the boss here i am the person that will discharge him ok, so go ahead and do it with me because we dont do handover i started it and i will do it to the end ok ,dont give a $ to anybody is an other for our office excpt i tell to ok,an investigation is going on now about you case ,i went to a village called OBELE AFOR yesterday for this case we cought two king pins yesterday ,since ever this person have he shown you any prove,so you go ahead and tell him to back off immediatly ,and you tell me when i will call you today and get you or do you have any other line of telephone? ,so dont answe him again tell him back off please we are being careful here ok .

DIC,DAVID
(EFCC_NIG


[Maybe the longest single sentence in the history of scamming, but no matter. The good guys are on the scoreboard, 2 - 0...]


David Terevoro

Fri, 26 Aug 2005

i reported this case to the presidency ,they will write and give a name to pay but you have to infor me first and the control number and text question you will give ok .

DIC,,TEREVORO DAVID EFCC NIGERIA


[The office of the Presidency has joined the fight...]


Walter Ukaegbu

Fri, 26 Aug 20

PRESIDENCY OFFICE OF THE HEAD STATE FOREIGN DEPARTMENT NO.140 AHMED BELLO STREET VICTORIA ISLAND LAGOS.

ATTN: SIR

Reporting reaching us here is that some imposters have being contacting you in regards to your loss fund from the dupers.

For your information Mr.David has been instructed by the Presidency to take care of your case and ensure that your fund is being recovered from the hands of this crudes.

Any person calling you apart from Mr.David is an imposter and you are urgently warn to discommunicate with this so called imposters for you to recover this your fund or else you will have yourself to blame.

However you are advise for your own good to go ahead and effect that mandatory fee of $1,000.00 dollars immediately through western union money transfer with this below name:

MR.OJINI WALTER UDOKA LAGOS NIGERIA

Upon the receipt confirmation of this $1,000.00 dollars your fund recovering process will commernce without any delay thereby bring those culprits to court and at the same time recovering your fund from them.

Do find the attached copy of the international passport of one of the victim whom we have recovered his own fund and returned it back to him.

Whereby you are not ready to effect that payment you as well required to come down here and proscute your case as we are ready to give you every support/assistance.

Also find the attched copy of my international passport.

Thanks for your co-operation.

Sincerely, Mr.Walter Ukaegbu. Director .Tel:234 80 330 84 906


[Success beyond my wildest dreams! Interpol is involved and we're closing in on more dupers! More than a little guilt on my part here, knowing that submissions to Scamorama will shortly be falling off to nil...]


Walter Ukaegbu

Fri, 26 Aug 2005

Dear sir,

This is to notify you that we have concluded an arrangement with the Interpol to arrest those bad elements that defrauded you.

You are urgently required to contact this office immediately to advise you accordnily so that your fund will be recovered without any delay once you comply with our directives for your own good. Dictetive David has been instructed to report to us every progress made.

Waiting your urgent call now on this matter.

Sincrely, Walter Ukaegbu. Tel:234 80 330 84 906.



Lewd Noogie

August 27, 2005

Mr. Ukaegbu,

I am most impressed that your good offices are involved in the effort to put these dupers and fraudstars behind bars where they belong. dick. Terevoro informed me that two of the kingpins were arrested someplace called Obele Afor yesterday and now you say that with the help of Interpol you are closing in on more of these bastards! My hat is off to you and your team, sir! I will work with you as long as required to bring them all to justice.

I am somewhat at a loss, however, on how to pay the required fees to register my case. As I explained to Dic. David, I'm in a small resort hotel in a remote village in Western Siberia. There is nothing remotely resembling a Western Union anywhere near here. Dic. David was supposed to send an EFCC account number where I could do an online transfer to. I am still waiting to hear from him on this matter.

Again, my congratulations to you, sir, for your extraordinary work and the fast results. It is always good to watch professionals at work.

Sincerely, Lewis D. Noogie


[More hudelums taken out!! ]


David Terevoro

Sun, 28 Aug 2005

Dear Lewd Noogie,

How are you feeling today?

Have you heard from the Presidency?

what are you waiting for because we have fished out the hudelums in our office, so the ask MR KINGSLEY to give back my duty ,so MR KINGSLEY said i should contenue with you so wait to hear from you soonest.

please can i have the email id that MR KINGSELY uses in mailing you including his telephone number, please it is very important now.

DIC,DAVID FOR EFCC NIGERIA


[dick David doesn't say how many hudelums were caught but he uses the plural. I will conservatively estimate 2. Score stands at Good Guys 4, Bad Guys 0.]


Lewd Noogie

August 29, 2005

dick. David,

I'm fine, thank you, and at this time I'm not waiting for anything. Mr. Kingsley sent me the EFCC account number and I transferred $1,000 as instructed. I assume that my case has now been properly registered in the necessary offices.

Let me say that it was fast work capturing the hudelums within our own ranks. The fact that they were there to begin with in no way influences my opinion of your otherwise very professional team.

I guess what I need to know from you now is what needs to be done to recover my money from the frurdstars. I await your or Mr. Kingsley's instructions.

Sincerely, Lewd Noogie



Walter Ukaegbu

Mon, 29 Aug 2005

Attn:Lewd Noogie.

Your mail was well received and the content duly noted.For your information we have no time to waste concerning this your case which have recorded progress and achievements.

You are the one delaying the proceedings to proscute this people who defrauded you by you not complying with our instructions.

As a matter of urgency you are required to send that $1,000.00 dollars immediately to this below officer name:

MR.OJINI WALTER UDOKA
LAGOS NIGERIA through MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

However you also requested to contact this office by telephone :234 80 330 84 906 immediately you receive this mail.

Waiting for the receipt confirmation payment of this $1,000.00 dollars from you toady.

Yours sincerely,

Walter Ukaegbu.
Direct Line:234 80 330 84 906



Lewd Noogie

August 29, 2005

Mr. Ukaegbu,

I think there may have been a breakdown in communications between your office and that of the EFCC. They should have informed you that I have already sent the $1,000 registration and document fees. Your Mr. Kingsley sent me the EFCC account information and I was able to make an online transfer. If you speak with Mr. Kingsley I'm sure he will confirm this.

Everything seems to be proceeding well and over the weekend I was informed by dick Terevoro that several hudelums within the EFCC offices were caught. I am very pleased that these people are finally ending up behind bars. I expect to hear from Mr. Kingsley at any time on how to proceed in the recovery of my money.

Tell your team to keep up the good work.

Lewis Noogie



Walter Ukaegbu

Mon, 29 Aug 2005

For your information you are not serious and as a result of this your lukewarm attitude your case file is cancel.

The Mr.Kingsley you sent $1,000 00 dollars has nothing to do with our office and your information he is nothing but an imposter.

It is just time that will tell.

We have never given any EFCC account to anybody and Mr.Kingsley you mentioned is not working with us and nobody knows him.

Whatever that happens between you and him is your business.

BYE.
WALTER



Lewd Noogie

August 30, 2005 Mr. Ukaegbu,

I take extreme offense at your insinuations and I feel I should not hesitate to set you straight on matters.

Regarding what you refer to as my 'lukewarm' attitude, it is obvious to me that you are just another lowly government bureaucrat who judges his own importance by how many delays he can cause. You are no longer part of the solution, Mr. Ukaegbu, you have become part of the problem.

I'll have you know, sir, that dick. David DOES know and work with Mr. Kingsley. To quote from a recent communication from dick. David,

"what are you waiting for because we have fished out the hudelums in our office, so the ask MR KINGSLEY to give back my duty ,so MR KINGSLEY said i should contenue with you so wait to hear from you soonest."

I would also have you know that with my participation no less than 4 swendlers were apprehended, 2 of which were working within the offices of the EFCC!!

It is apparent that you are completely out of touch with what is going on and I think it best that you excuse yourself from this case. I will continue to work with Dic. David until we get this problem solved. I am sorely tempted to report your attitude to your supervisor but at this time I shall refrain from doing so contingent upon your disappearing from the case.

Lewis D. Noogie



David Terevoro

Mon, 29 Aug 2005

ATTN,MR,NOOGIE.

We did not recieve any money ,and we are now asking you who did you pay the money to?

see you must have to do something now because i told you this at the first time b/4 you paid them .

see go ahead and call back that money immediatly bcus we did not recieve any money ,but we have the hudlums in our custody now ,i am just trying to make good enquries how to secure your money now,but remember that you register no case,if you did what is your case file number ?.

see it is indeed a coded network thet did but we are now going to trace this one again ,you have a dubble case right now.

THE FOLLOWING DETAIL WE NEED FROM YOU NOW URGENTLY,

(1)YOU CASE FILE NUMBER

(2)THE NAME AND THE BANK YOU PAID AND THE ACCOUNT NAME.

(3)THE OLD CONTRACT NAME ,I MEAN WHAT THEY TOLD YOU B/4 YOU PAID THEM THE $17,500

THE DIRECTION OF YOUR RETRIVEMENT IS AS FOLLOW

(1)YOU NEED A LAWYER THAT CAN DIFFEND YOUR CASE

(2)THE LAWYER WILL LEED YOU TO THE LAW COURT AND CLEAR YOU FUND FOR YOU B/4 WE SEND IT TO YOUR ACCOUNT

YOU NEED TO BE CONNECTED TO A TELEPHONE SO THAT WE GET TO YOU AND MAKE SURE YOU ANSWER TO ONE EMAIL ADDRES,AND FROM TODAY YOU ANSWER OUR CASE WITH A PASSWORD THE PASSWORD WILL PROTECT YOU WHEN YOU WILL TAKE BACK YOUR FUND,IT SI XXXX IN EVERY MAIL I WRITE YOU MUST SEE THE PASSWORD B/4 YOU REPLY, NO PASSWORD DONT REPLY,AT ALL TIMES I WRITE YOU YOU WILL SEE XXXX IN YOUR SUBJECT.

REPLY IMMEDIATLY.BECAUSE I GAVE NO ACCOUNT NUMBER,WHAT I GAVE WAS WESTERN UNION

DIC,DAVID
EFCC,NIGERIA



Lewd Noogie

August 30, 2005

dick. David,

What is going on over there?? What I at first thought was a first-class operation has turned into a circus! What do you mean you didn't receive any money from me?? ASK KINGSLEY!!

And who is this nitwit Ukaegbu? That guy has the mental capacity of an anvil. I got a note from him saying my attitude is lukewarm and that nobody knows Kingsley. Hell, you told me you work with Kingsley! Don't you people ever talk to each other?

And how can my attitude be lukewarm if I already paid the fees to have my case registered?? And why do I have a dubble case now?

Look, we need to get a plan of action in place and FOLLOW it! I don't want anymore miscommunications or interference from guys like Ukaegbu.

You requested some information:

1. My case file number - Kingsley said he would be forwarding it to me. Why don't you just go into his office and ask him what it is?

2. The bank I paid the fees to - CITI Bank - New York Swiftcode: CITI US33 Credit to Bank of Cyprus Swiftcode: BCYPCY2N030 Favor; F.O.N. Trading Co. Account#: USD 0385-40-06-074094

3. The old contract - It was perported to be money left over from an over-invoiced contract, the sum of which was $17.5 milliion.

My phone number - I gave this to Henry Car, your chief dictative, but I'll give it to you again: 7 (095) 964-8597.

Lewd



David Terevoro

Tue, 30 Aug 2005
Subject: XXXX GET READY TO TAKE BACK YOU FUND WITH THE HELP OF A LAWYER

Thank you,mr,noogie

The reson is that we have not gotten any money ,even now ,you paid into the wrong hands ok,but our question now is how did mr ukaegbu from the presidency gave an other not to attend to any othe peson but me alone and you go ahead and pay mr kingsley which we dont know and since we got the information from you,

There is a little problem in the office now because we find out that some of our boys in the office collerbrated with this hudlums and swendled you in the first $17,500 and this guy is the same person that collected this money from you because he dont want your case to be registered so that he will not have problem togather with this hudlums we are having in our custody now,as a result of this i have to register your case with my own mone $300,

Bcus i want to fish out this particuler person and i want your money back to you ,we have now in our possation three jeeps that we collected from this hudlums and 2 v boot kumppressor cars as a result of this you refundment is assured,

But you have to take you case file number now so that it will be easy for you to take back your money,BUT YOU HAVE TO GET A LAWYER THAT WILL STANT IN YOUR NAME IN THE LAW COURT BCUS WE ARE GOING TO TAKE THEM TO COURT ANYTIME NOW.

I can introduce you to a senior advocate of nigeria ,the owner of benandbenchembers(SAN) email him at benchembers@yahoo.co.uk, i call him and tell him about you problem

YOUR CASE FILE REGISTRATION NO,IS AS STATED BELOW IN CASE THE LAWYER ASK

Decree 419/nig/criminal,law-code,1988/009/rdcm/ng/obt(obtain by trick/law code 2000/no.002/3412/rg/998776/210096 case file .lewd noogie,

I am going to assure you that every dime they collected from you will be refounded back to you on one condition,that you have to promise and sign a bond that you will pay up the balance of $700.00 left and my $300.00 that i used in registring your case for you ,

I am telling you now that this mr kingsley have not be known in our office up till now investigations are going on now ,so till this case gets over dont tell anybody any thing bcus they will write you to get informations about you case pls dont ,this person is very poisonious and you have to be careful so that they will not go and answer you name and take your money we suffered to recorver,and any mail that is not with xxx password dont reply from now we are very careful now

DIC,DAVID
FOR EFCC NIGERIA



Lewd Noogie

August 31, 2005

dick. David,

I appreciate your using your own money like that to register my case for me and of course I will pay you back for it. I will send it this morning to the EFCC account that Mr. Kingsley gave me.

I have a colleague who is also an international hotel consultant and he has done consulting there in Lagos in the past. He has also referred me to an attorney there with the firm of Victor Kanu & Associates. My friend uses Mr. Kanu's firm extensively and says he is an excellent attorney. I will contact both Mr. Kanu and the attorney who's address you gave me and determine which can do the best job.

I am, however, confused about something. You say that Mr. Kingsley is not known in your office but just a short time ago you wrote me that Mr. Kingsley told you that you should continue with my case. Now you either know and work with him or you don't - which is it?

Lewd



David Terevoro

Wed, 31 Aug 2005

I WILL GIVE YOU AN ACCOUNT NUMBER ,NOT THE FIRST ONE I NOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT ACCOUNT PLEASE TRY AND WAIT FOR ME TO SEND YOU AN ACCOUNT OK,AND AS FOR MR KINGSLEY SOMEONE IN OUR OFFICE CALL ME WITH THAT NAME AND TELL ME TO GO ON WITH YOUR CASE THATS WHY AM CONFUSED SO DONT PAY OK,

I WANT YOU TO CONTACT THE LAWYER ,benchembers1@yahoo.co.uk,Barr,Ben,I TOLD YOU OFF HE IS THE BEST HERE ,DO THAT IMMEDIATLY ,DON USE MR KALU,S FIRM PERIOD,

DIC DAVID
EFCC NIGERIA



Lewd Noogie

August 31, 2005

dick. David,

If you think that the account Kingsley gave me is no good I will hold off sending you your money until you send me another account number.

I don't understand why you don't want me to use Mr. Kanu's law firm. My friend who has used him in the past was quite happy with his perfomance. Like I said, I also intend to interview the attorney you suggested and then decide who can do the best job.

Let me know that account number as soon as possible.

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

August 31, 2005

Barrister Ben,

You have been recommended to me by Dictative David Terevoro of the EFCC to handle a case for me that involves recovering money that was swendled from me by advanced-fee fraudstars. I have not made a final decision yet and, just so you are aware, I also intend to interview the firm of Kanu & Associates there in Lagos.

I would appreciate it very much if you could send me detailed information on what you would charge to handle this case. Please feel free to consult with Dictative Terevoro as to the particulars of the case.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



David Terevoro

Wed, 31 Aug 2005

Dear lewd noogie,

am happy to hear from you this way,yhe issue is that i am there to protect your image, i have already given the lawyer your particulars to start something bcus i want your money to get back to you b/4 ending of next week,so he told me things you can do ,but go ahead and pay every money into this account number ok,

ABNAMRO BANKBP660-1000EG
AMSTERDAM HOLLAND
SWIFT CODE;ABNANL2A,
CREDITTO;FINANCIAL BANK
SWIFTCODE;FIBBBJBJ
ACC/NO;13790139912
BENEF GLOBAL SHIPPING AGENCY

THIS ARE THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE LAW COURT

(1)CONSULTATION FEE;$700,00
(2)FUND OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE;$1000,00
(3)AURTHORIZATION LETTER TO IMPOWER THE LAWYER TO PROCED ON YOUR BEHALF;$1000,00

So go ahead and pay this morney now by friday your money will be in your account after the court on thursday,so hurry up so that we can achive this aim on time ,

REGARDS
DICTATIVE--DAVID,
FOR EFCC NIGERIA



Lewd Noogie

September 1, 2005

dick. David,

I just sent a note to the barrister you recommended. I verified that once I have had a chance to contact Kanu & Associates and get a price from them I will give him my final decision as to my choice of representation. I hope to get something off to them today or tomorrow.

I am beginning to think that recovery of my $17,500 may not be worth it. With the thousand dollars I've already paid to Kingsley, plus the thousand dollars I have to pay again to you, plus the lawyer's fees and documentation, the amount I have spent or will spend is up to $4,700. And who knows if that's the end of it. What I recover is already down to $12,800.

I trust your judgement, what do you think? Is it still worth it to continue?

Lewd



Benjamin Ikedi

Wed, 31 Aug 2005

Attn:Lewis D. Noogie,

Compliments of the day,Hope you and your family are doing great over there?I do apreciate your urgent response towards your case being presented to me by Ditective David from EFCC(ECONOMIC FINANCIAL CRIME COMM.)Based on your request as regards to my charges to enable you recover your fund being spend over the frud sters as regards to the scandal .

First and foremost ,I must commend as well welcome you once again ,All iam assuring you is to put my best to make sure they are being apprehended and brought to book and as well recover the ammount being spent to the so called fraud sters.

Like you were made to understand by your representative Dictative David,The Consultation Fee of $700USD has to be paid as well the Mobilization Fee of $1000USD and the Ownership of fund Certificate will as well be obtained from the Inland revenue which will cost you the minimum of $1000USD to be obtained from the Inland revenue over there in Abuja .

50% of the total fund has to be made available in advance to enable me proceed to the Supreme Court Abuja to enable me obtain all legal documents to back up this case on your behalf as to make sure all issues are well carried out legally as expected from me .

Upon the confirmation of your payment between now and tommorow morning immediate action will commence .

I do wait your urgent response.

Regards.
Barrister Ben .



Lewd Noogie

September 1, 2005

Barrister,

I thank you for the information. I must say your prices seem a bit high for the relatively short time and minor amount of effort this case should take. As I mentioned earlier, I intend to query the firm of Kanu & Associates and have them provide me with an estimate as well. Please don't assume this to be a reflection on your expertise; they were recommended to me by an associate who has used them before and was quite pleased with their performance. I will try to get something to them later today and will let you know my decision as soon as I hear back from them.

Can you please provide me with your full name.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



David Terevoro

Thu, 1 Sep 2005

Thank you mr Lewd,

This Barr,Ben is the person we use in our cases here ,he is our lawyer and i can not stay here and let him cheat you ,He is going to handle This case as the other ones,if he is not good i will not recommend him to you ,so have you paid my $1000usd in the account i gave you?Something came up while i was in his office yesterday,he was asking me if you are the righful owner of the contract so that we will work for it and get it back for you only if you can produce the document of that $17,500m if you know about it give him the details so that we can go to the presidency and confirm it

now i want you to know that is better to recorver this amount left than to loose all even you can as well getback the $17,500m as your own ,you don,t need to complane ok and don,t contact anyother lawyer because Barr,Ben is the (EFCC)lawyer ok,so try and pay up this money today and remember that the money you are to pay now is half of his own bills and my $1000usd,only for now then after you pay the other,remember that your case is on Barr,Ben,s table right now, and we are going to court on thursday next week and by friday you getback your money ,so go ahead and pay now ok.

DIC,DAVID FOR EFCC



Benjamin Ikedi

Thu, 1 Sep 2005

Attn:Lewis D. Noogie,

Compliments of the day,Hope you are okay today?I do appreciate your response as well your efforts so far,Based on the information i gatherd from ditective David .

Based on your comment towards my requested fee to be on a high side as you assumed to be,As we all know the nature of the job iam about to carry out,Moreso this is not my first venture towards such case,It is really a big tax .I wont ask for a lower charges and at the end of the day the job wont be executed as expected as to enable you recieve your fund as expected from me .Secondly,based on the information i getherd from ditective David as regards to the contract which you executed which mount to the tune of $17.5 million dollars has to be as well treated with utmost verdict to make sure the fund is being recoverd on your behalf.

I believe you have seen where we are heading towards on this.All i can assure is to do my very best to make sure evry thing is well perfected as expected from my chamber .

Upon the confirmation of half of the payment as i requested between now and tommorow morning,Then i can be able to proceed to the suprem court to obtain every legal document to back up this case as expeceted.

Like i earlier made my point clear to you ,The requested fee mount to the tune of $2,700USD and you can as well have half of the payment of $1,350 USD send accross through the EFCC account being forwarded to you by Ditective David between now and tommorow morning to enable me commence on immediate action on this case as your case file has already been in my possesion for immediate attention needed..

I do expect your urgent response.

Meanwhlie i on several occasions tried to reach you on phone yesterday but could not get hold of you in person.

Regards.
Barrister Benjamin



Lewd Noogie

September 2, 2005

Barrister Benjamin,

Dictative David has strongly suggested that I use your offices instead of Mr. Kanu's to effect this transaction. For the time being I have decided to go with his suggestion.

Please scan and send as an email attachment an invoice for your fees indicating the total amount ($2,700) and amount due at this time ($1,350). Also please provide enough detail to satisfy Class III audit requirements. I'm sure you're aware how anal auditors can be. As soon as I have received the invoice I will transfer $1,350 to the EFCC account provided by dick. David.

Thank you.
Lewis D. Noogie



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 2 Sep 2005

Dear mr lewis,

how are you doing?.

Since you have refused to write me inorder to know the developments on the help you requested for. However, i only wish to inform you of our recent observations.

As am writing to you now it has being identified that some set of hudlums in the name of fraudstars have ganged up again claiming some sums from people who were already going through pains as a result of money they lost to these same set of people. They claim or call themselves EFCC members when they are not.

Just this morning the president federal republic of Nigeria (Chief Olusegun Obasanjo) called my attention to this developement and i decided to reach all those that am helping to recover their funds. Right now, we the members of efcc do not collect or request for any kobo in terms of money from any body since these are people asking for help.

All our needs are being supplied by the federal gorvernment but these guys who claim to be efcc will first ask you to fill a form with some little amount of money thereby collecting some more money from you and most times they will write you not adhere to any other mail that comes your way inorder to gain access to you deeply. So if you in any way has recieved such mails or have paid any some to any body please do see yourself as being dooped another time.I will tell you the only time efcc can demand a token from you and at this time you must have seing every thing by yourself and will even be happy to give us more than we requested.

Please as a friend do not put your self to this guys and listen to nobody anymore except any mail that comes from my office.

Regarding to our effort to recover your looted funds, while i was having a meeting with the president this morning, my men called me from the operation site and informed me that they have invaded the residence of the hoodlums, though they have not apprehended any of them yet but i have asked them to take a photograph of the building and send it to me, so, as soon as they do that i will aswell send it to you but for all i know your money will be recovered without you spending more money.

My computer system got crashed and i lost lots of informations, please do give me your phone number again so that i can speak to you and my own number is +2348033609272.

Please call me or email me urjently in acknowledgement of this mail.

Thank you
DICTACTIVE HENRY.



Lewd Noogie

September 2, 2005

Dictative Henry,

Very good to hear from you again but I don't understand what you mean when you say I have refused to write you. Since you turned my case over to dick. David Terevoro I have been working quite closely with him to apprehend the swendlers who stole my money. I'm sure that he told you that I was instrumental in apprehending two fraudstars among your own team! Ah, the thrill of victory!

And congratulations on this morning's raid.

We will continue along our current path and I do thank you for this and future updates.

Lewd



David Terevoro

Fri, 2 Sep 2005

good day mr.lewd,

please can you do something fast so that i can finish with your matters here in our office b/4 going to court on thursday,can you please save my time and yours too,again my wife is seriously sick the money i used for your case is the only money i have now ,pls can you pay up this money today ,i mean the$1000,00

so that i can feel free a bit my friend am in very tight condition now.

regards
dic,david



Lewd Noogie

September 2, 2005

dick. David,

I am sorry to hear about your wife and I hope it's nothing terribly serious. I would be happy to help you in your time of need but I just received a very informative message from your boss, Chief Dictative Henry Car. He said that the EFCC will not be requesting any money from the people they are helping and he has instructed me not to send anymore money to anyone. Any payments required must now go through his office.

I presume it's still ok for me to pay Barrister Benjamin and will do so as soon as I receive his invoice.

dick. David, chief dick. Car told me that this morning his men raided the house of the hudlums that defrauded me. Although the fraudstars were not caught I just want to say 'good work' to you, chief dick. Car and your men for your continuing efforts to help me.

Thank you,
Lewd



David Terevoro

Fri, 2 Sep 2005

ATTN:Lewd ,

Hope you and your family are doing fine,thanks i do apreciate your responce,based on email you forwarded to me as regards to your correspondings with henry car as you stated based on the requested fee of $1000usd i demanded from you which has to stand as mobilization fee to enable me carry out all activities.

to start with i did not request any bribe from you based on EFCC,mr henry in question is not the efcc boss rather you can as well go to EFCC PROFILE and confirm if you as well need EFCC boss more information we will as well fonish you with the details his name is mr rebado you can as well make enquiry your self confirmed to know the kind of people you deal with to avoid falling into a wrong hand rather mr henry in question as he claim to be has been dismissed from the organisation because of his evil practicses .he is only trying to win your mind as to reap you off that is the more reason why you should be extrimely careful to the kind of people you have been having contact with to avoide falling a victim for the second time .

that is why i chaneled every correpondence to the Attorney to enable him carry out Investigation himself to make sure this imposters are being brought to book.

I do expect your urgent response.

Regards.
Detective David. (EFCC)



Lewd Noogie

September 3, 2005

dick. David,

I thank you for your note but it raises some troubling questions.

You state that the $1,000 is a 'mobilization fee'. I was originally told that it was for registering my case with your office, registering my case with Interpol, and obtaining some court documents. I am totally confused now as to what thi money is for. Not to mention that this is the first time I've ever heard of having to pay to register a case with any kind of police agency. This seems most unusual.

Secondly, dick. Henry Car is the dictative who contacted me in the first place. Now you are telling me that he has been forced out of the department? For evil practices? It seems like most of the frurdstars that have been caught are from your own department!

I also am beginning to have doubts about the barrister you introduced me to. He has told me some very strange things lately that make me wonder if he really knows what he's doing.

Let me see how things go with the barrister and I'll get back to you.

Lewd



Benjamin Ikedi

Fri, 2 Sep 2005

Attn:Lewd,

Compliments of the day,I do appreciate your urgent response,Based on the situation at hand to enable us carry out proper Investigation as soon as all arrangements are being concluded as expected.

Based on your request ,for me to have the payment reciept sent accross to you ,As you already know i have not recieved a cent from you at the moment and you will not expect me to send to you any reciept as such without the confirmation of your payment .Meanwhile Attached is My Call to Bar Certificate for you to know the actual person you are dealing with and as well to be rest assured that all issues has to be carried out as expected from me as soon as the payment is being made today.

I do wait your urgent response as well the payment slip information to enable me issue you the payment reciept as you have requested so that immediate action could commence on first thing monday morning .

I do expect your urgent response today.

Regards.
Barrister Ben.



Lewd Noogie

September 3, 2005

Barrister,

If you go back and re-read my last email you will see that I am not asking for a receipt from you at this time. I will expect a receipt once you have received my payment for your services.

What I need before payment is your invoice for services. If it is found during an audit that I paid money without an invoice I will have a major problem on my hands. I'm sure you have had the same experience before during audits.

Please scan and send as an email attachment as soon as possible. As I requested previously, please ensure that your invoice will satisfy Class III audit requirement.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie


[Now it turns serious! It seems that Dictative David may well be a frurdstar himself and Dictative Car has been given shoot-to-kill authority from the president...]


Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 2 Sep 2005

Thank you Mr Lewis,

It was just like something spoke to me to inform you about this recent hudlums and not even knowing that one was already working with you claiming to be coming from me .

Please for your safety, stop now before you will regret that movement, i do not know any body called David and has never handed your case over to any body except for my boys whome i gave strict instruction and they do not even have acces to your email addres.It was reported lately that most of them now use my email address which i cannot tell how they manage to get it but that will even help me to get them faster, some claim to be my boys while others claim that i handed over cases to them when i do not even know them.

please your case with some others are strictly being handled by my very self due to the sensitivity in it.Hencefort, caution them from sending you mails or if they by any means send without your consent please do not reply to them rather forward it to me so that i can aswell fish them out over here with that information.

Like i told you this morning my boys have been able to take the photograph of that house and it has been sent to me i would have loved to send it to you now but there was an outbreak some where in the town so my attention is higherly needed over there,therefore,i will send the photogragh to you as soon as am back from there so that you will see where people who claim to be governors and presidents collecting money from you are staying.

I really do not know how you people easily get carried away by this ediots who could not even speak good english
[Yeah, right...] just like another one has come to you in the name that i sent him.

please if you have his email address delete it from your system or send it to me, am really really ready for them, as a matter of fact, the president has given me the power to shoot to dead if any one tries to escape in the couse of trying to apprehend them and that am going to exercise very well.I requested for your phone number so that i can speak to you directly.

Please you and i have become friends and i will spend my last blood to make sure that your money is collected and send to you like i did for others.

thank you.
DICTACTIVE HEHRY>



Lewd Noogie

September 3, 2005

dick. Henry,

I appreciate the information you have given me but I am becoming somewhat confused. Dicktative David tells me he knows you but that you were dismissed from the department for evil practices. Is this true?

Do you have a current EFCC id or something that you can send me?

Let me ask - do you know barrister Benjamin Ikedi that has taken my case?

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 2 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

I have spoken to you as a friend but if you refuse to hear from me i will allow you to fall this victim the second time, this guys can employ all level of skills inorder to have you to themselves.I do not know any body called David and no David exist in efcc office. I will scan my I.D card and send to you as soon as am back from the town.

All those tricks of lawyer are just there rout to collect money from you.They want to see my mails so that it will give them more guide on how to trick you more but if you insist i will live you to their hand.

Thanks
Dic Henry.



David Terevoro

Sun, 4 Sep 2005

Good day,mr lewd,

i am very disapointed with your statements towards this investigations so far reason why ,because i told you that mr henry car in question is no longer with the organization is not a fulse news ,ok from the day he contacted you ,have he discorsed with you ?just tell me ,why cant you make use of your sences mr noogie ,see let me tell you i am disapointed in your responce this days,you make me feel bad as if am stupid by using my hard erned money to register your case and now you are telling me that you dont think you can send any money while my wife is in the hospital ,my friend you are heartless,i can believe this ,the barr,i introduced to you have been doing this for a very long time ,go ahead he will help you and me also have started it and i promise you i will finish it for you ,but pls try and send me that $1000,if you have it but if you dont then tell me ,but the why i want that money is to salve my problems,You made mention of mobilization fee ,yes is the registration fee and the court documents fee as well,may be the english you did not understand well because mobiliozation can be used in diferent meanings so is still exertly what i was telling you my good friend ,go ahead and corprate with the lawyer he will help you as well as i do my own here ok ,

regards
Dict,David
EFCC



Lewd Noogie

September 5, 2005

dick. David,

English is not my first language so I can see where I might have made a mistake in your meaning of 'mobilization fee'. Please excuse me for that.

What I don't understand is, if dick. Henry was practicing evil ways when he worked for the EFCC, why wasn't he arrested? If what you say is true, and he's still running looose and trying to cheat me, why don't you throw his ass in the slammer? Confiscate his computer, I'm sure the evidence of his correspondence with me is still there. Let's nail him too.

Of course I want my money back but what I want even more is to catch as many of these swendlers and frurdstars as we can. We haven't made much progress in that area lately.

Ok, here's what I'll do. My assistant, Ms. Bushburn, will be going to Irkutsk this afternoon on personal business. I'm pretty sure there is a Western Union there so I will have her send $500 directly to you, Dictative David Terevoro, Lagos, Nigeria. I can't send the full amount right now because I have to keep enough handy for the barrister.

Please keep me appraised on your progress in catching these bastards.

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

September 5, 2005

dick. Henry,

You take me wrong, sir. I very much appreciate what you are trying to do to help me but what I need right now is a plan of action. What are we going to do to catch this guy David and that sheister barrister?

Lewd



David Terevoro

Mon, 5 Sep 2005

pls use mark cole .lagos nigeria ok for the sending of the money pls

dic ,david

EFCC



Lewd Noogie

September 6, 2005

dick. David,

Ms. Bushburn left for Irkutsk before your email arrived and I have no way to contact her about sending the money to a different name. Who is Mark Cole and what does he have to do with all of this?

I'm afraid the money will be coming in your name and I'm not sure exactly when she will send it so you'll just have to check once in awhile. Please let me know when you have received it.

What is up with that useless barrister? I have heard nothing from him and I have not received an invoice from him. Can you call him and tell him to get off his dead ass and send it so we can get this thing moving.

Thanks.
Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 5 Sep 2005

Thank you Mr Lewis,

How to get them is my responsibility, therefore,just get me their email address and phone numbers theen live the rest to me. Please do this very fast for me.

DiC HENRY.



Lewd Noogie

September 6, 2005

dick, Henry,

I have searched through my email files and have been unable to locate the correspondence where dick David gave me his phone number. I suppose I could ask him to send it again.

I am somewhat confused as to why you need these from me. These guys KNOW you, and they tell me you know and used to work with them. dick David said that you were fired from the EFCC for corrupt practices and running scams from within the EFCC. He also said a lot of other things about you that I don't think I should repeat, thing about you being mentally defective because your mother and father were actually brother and sister. I tell you, I was completely shocked by the way he carried on.

But this entire situation has gotten me completely confused over who to trust. I am inclined to believe you but you seem hesitant to provide me with any kind of identification. You told me you were going to send your id, but that was some time ago and I have received nothing yet. And so far this attempt to recover money has done nothing but cost me money, and I refer to the $1,000 that I sent to your Mr. Kingsley.

I need some assurances here that I am dealing with the right person.

Lewd


[EFCC scores again! Good guys - 5, Bad guys - zip!]


Dictative Henry Car

Tue, 6 Sep 2005

Thank you Mr Lewis, yes they must have told you all you needed to hear just to put you in the right frame of work. I have always written you and if have for once identified my language as one that conld come from somebody who is mentally disorder then believe that what they told you is true but if the reverse is the case then sit yourself down and think twice.

For your informtion these guys uses charms which they use in controlling people thereby making you to believe what ever they say to you.therefore stop dealing with them now or i will remove my name and my hand from this case and i assure you within 120days from now you will write me back on how they have treated you.

You have already spent 1000 without my consent, my friend, we do not collect one kobo for help in EFCC for helps untill a certain stage where you will be adviced to pay just a token which i believe you will be very glad to pay having seing your looted money.You have just losed another $1000 and if you continue like this you will have yourself to blame.

Regarding to my identification, i made it clear to you that there was some panic in town there my attention was highly needed and that i will send it to you as soon as am back and wright now am back, you will receive both my identification card and the photogragh of those bandict's house within thw next 12hrs.

Just few munites ago, my boys apprehended one of the fraud stars, who is already in our custody, he has confessed that they are five in number and he is also going to lead us on where to get the others>

I shall keep you informed as we progress.

Please delete the email address of that david and co, i repeat i do not know anybody as such as a matter of fact i have no superior except the president whom i report to.

await my I.D and please delete their addresses now if really wish to have my help. Dic Henry.




David Terevoro

Tue, 6 Sep 2005

Dear Lewd

Please do as you wish my friend ,you told me that Ms. Bushburn is going to send the money ,it is still ok but why are you making things difficult for your self ,you told me to call the barrister and i did now and he told me that you said that he should issue you a recipt that will cover the money which is not possible and he told me that he send to you his call to bar certficate,is it true? so if it is true go ahead and send the $1,350.usdto him to enable us work out this thing fast ,i am assuring you that i will be close to him this time so go ahead and pay today so that we start immediatly because we are going to court on thursday ,what are you waiting for,do something fast my dear

DIC DAVID
EFCC



Lewd Noogie

September 7, 2005

dick David,

How many times do I have to tell you and that idiot barrister that I AM NOT TRYING TO GET A RECEIPT, I'm trying to get an INVOICE! They are NOT THE SAME THING! An invoice is a bill, a statement of what I owe. I don't want a receipt until after I pay and I can't pay without an invoice. Weeping jesus on the cross, can't you guys see the difference?

dick David, I'm trying to get this thing moving but you and that barrister keep holding it back. Look, I have been trying to avoid corresponding with dick Henry but I'm getting nowhere with you and that nitwit lawyer. At least dick Henry is out catching the frurdstars - he caught another one yesterday.

Please explain the difference to the barrister again and tell him to send me the invoice. And soon.

Lewd


[EFCC dictatives score a double-play!! Good guys - 7, Bad guys - nada!]


Dictative Henry Car

Tue, 6 Sep 2005

How are you Mr lewis?

Please find attached my identity card and the photograph of that house as i told you.Have you deleted their email addresses as i adviced you?

Now you can trust me. and please for security purposes do not send my I.D to any body.Write me urgently.The other two guys have been captured remaining the two more, this must be a very good news to you and am very happy over here.

Thanks Dic henry


[Hmmm. According to dick Henry's tacky-looking ID card his last name is Ribadu, not Car, but as long as he's bagging the bad guys, who cares...]


Lewd Noogie

September 7, 2005

dick Henry,

I feel a lot better now having seen your ID card and I thank you for that.

I'm also very happy to hear that you caught 2 more of the dupers and once again I offer my congratulations. How long do you think until you get the last 2? And after they are caught, then what do we do?

Lewd



Benjamin Ikedi

Wed, 7 Sep 2005

ATTN:MR,LEWD,

How are you today with your family,I am very happy to announce to you that we are now going forward not backwords from the statement i got from your dictative ,this morning,he told me that you are very anoyed with me please dont be .We surpose to live for the high court tommorow being thursday but because we have not recieved any money from you then we postponded it till tuesday next week so go ahead and pay the money to the account number that dic david gave you so that immediate action will be comence so go ahead and pay half of the money so that we can go ahead,

BELOW IS THE DETAILS YOU NEEDED FROM ME ,IS ATTACHED IN THE FILE.

REGARDS.
BARR,BEN


[The barrister sends a 'Power of Attorney' letter. Let's torment him a little...]


Lewd Noogie

September 8, 2005

Barrister,

I received the information you sent for which I thank you. I think that with a very few corrections we can bring it up to Class III audit standards.

1. Please change 'Power of Attorney' to 'Invoice For Legal Services'.

2. Please change my name to 'Lewis D. Noogie'. Lewd is what my friends call me (short for Lewis D.).

3. Please change 'Mobilization Fee - $1,000' to indicate it's components, i.e., 'EFCC Case Registration - $300', 'Interpol Case Registration - $300', and 'High Court Registration and Affidavit - $400'. This is the breakdown provided to me by dick David. I also believe that your item 2 is a duplication of the High Court Registration and Affidavit. If this is not correct, please explain what this item is for.

4. Please sign the document.

I think with these minor changes the document will meet the audit standards. You know how picky these damned auditors can be. Once you have made the changes please scan and re-send so I can make the payment. Please note that once you have received payment I will at that time require a signed receipt.

Thank you,
Lewis D. Noogie



[dick Henry snags the last two frurdstars!! Good guys - 9, Bad guys - still not on the scoreboard]

Dictative Henry Car

Wed, 7 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

i am a gentle man as you can see, financially God has blessed me through dontions from those that i have helped to recorver there money which you will soon be one of them.

Yes, i am a trained detective indeed, today joins one of my happiest day on earth.

The two others have just been apprehended.Having interogated and touchured them they accepted to have collected only $15000 from you as againt $17500 claimed by you. However, whether they are right or wrong your claimed amount has to be paid to you with immediate effect.After my brief meeting with the president on the subject matter today, we have resolved that the house showed to you which is belonging to one of them is to be sold by auction inorder to get your fund released without wasting time while they continue their 21years imprisonment as promogated by the federal government.

As i write you now an estate survey agent has taken over the auction procedures.

I want to assure you that your money is just within you as it stands now.

As soon as this house and the properties in it is sold within 48hours as mandated by the president,then i will receive the cash by myself and then hand it over to the remittance department whose duty will be to release the fund to you.

please for your information, i will still need your passport photogragh or drivers licence which i will pass to the remittance department for record purposes, please without that they won't release your fund.

I shall send you the email address of the remittance department head as soon as i receive this cash any moment from now so that you can collect your money.

Thanks Dic Henry


[I wouldn't normally condone suspects being 'touchured', but in this case I guess it's ok...]


Lewd Noogie

September 8, 2005

dick Henry,

Just let me say congratulations for a job well-done! Personally I think you should have invoked your shoot-to-kill option - I think it would have given both of us a lot of satisfaction, especially you! What I would have given to be there when those craven curs came out, me with my 20 mike-mike locked and loaded! I'm getting turned on just thinking about it. Where's that East German massage therapist when I need her?

When you hand over the cash to the remittance department, use this email as my authorization for you to hold back a couple thousand, just in case.

As I mentioned to you some time ago, I have no way of scanning my passport here. The nearest place I could probably do something like that would be in Irkutsk but that's about a 9-hour drive from here. If you tell me what information you need from it I can certainly send that to you.

Once again, good job dictative! You and your men are peacocks amongst the chickens!

Lewd



picking up again in october...

[Last we heard, Lewd was cheering on the Lads in their crimefighting activities.]

Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 8 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

How are you today?Actually three bidders have emerged and so far so good.In EFCC, the policy goes that if looted funds or properties are recovered from fraud stars, such things are auctioned and the total sum recovered is sent to the claimer as the case may be.So far the lowest bidder is at $20,000, while the highest is at $28.000 respectively. The highest bidder is expected to effect payment today, so as soon as that is done, please do note that my department does not participate in fund releasing, there i will hand over the money to the remittance department and connect you to the head of that department who will advice you properly.But i want assure you that you will be receiving the total sum recovered within the next 24hours,immediately the president signs off the payment.

thanks

DiC Henry



Benjamin Ikedi

Thu, 8 Sep 2005

ATTN:Mr lewis d noogie

Compliment of the day,hope you and your family is doing well today ?

This based on your requestas to have the invoice send across to you for more clearification to enable you make the part payment between now and tommorow morning for us to comencce immediate action as espected from my chember, as to aneble me proced to the federal high court first thing tuesday morning.

So hereby advice you to make the 50% of the total fee being requested from you for us to comencce immediate action upon the confirmation of your payment to us as expected from you first thing tommorow morning.

As you can see we are not here for childs play but to carry out all activities as instructed to us to make sure your fund is being recorverd,

your urgent responce is needed first thing tommorow morning as well the confirmation of your payment to avoid futher delay.

Regards.

barr,benjamin



[The good barrister send along a revised invoice, looks good but I still detect a minor problem...]

Lewd Noogie

September 9, 2005

Barrister,

I thank you for the revised invoice. This is just what I need with one small exception: you refer to the good dictative as 'Dictative David'. I'm sure that this was a minor oversight by your secretary but I think on a document of this nature we should use his full name and title, 'Dictative David Terevoro, (EFCC)'. You appreciate that the laws in this country that govern this kind of thing are very stringent and a slip-up like this could cause me no end of headaches with the government auditors.

If you can get this back to me today I can make the online transfer to you this evening. I appreciate your diligence in this matter.

Sincerely,

Lewis D. Noogie



Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 8 Sep 2005

Mr, Lewis

i do not understand what you mean by short-to-kill option, please explain.

Meanwhile the fund has finally got to me which i have inturns handed over to the remitance department, so your money has finally cleared.

Please contact the head of remittance department( Mr Alhamza mustafa) for the immediate release of your money as directed by the president along side other eleven people whose fund also is to be released now.

His email address is almustafa1942@yahoo.com

Please i have done my part, by the time you finally collect your money if you wish to say thank you to me with even if it is $1, i will appreciate that but if you do not feel like it please we still remain friends.

thank you

Dic henry



Lewd Noogie

September 9, 2005

dick Henry,

'Shoot to kill' was in reference to your earlier statement that the president had given you the authority to gun down these guys if they tried to run in the course of aprehending them. I just thought that you should have excercised that authority a little more. Nothing like a little hot, large-calliber lead to make these dupers see the error of their ways.

I have written to the remittance department and I feel good that this is coming to a happy conclusion. I have enjoyed working with you in catching these swendlers and I have been very pleased with the results. With this in mind, is there any way I could continue to assist you in this regard? We have done a great service to the unsuspecting masses out there who are vulnerable to these scammers and I would very much like to continue our good works. Is there any way you could take me on as a foreign-based assistant? Let me know if you have any ideas.

Thanks again.

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

September 9, 2005

Mr. Mustafa,

My name is Lewis D. Noogie and I have been working with Dictative Henry Car to recover money obtained by fraudulent means. Can you please tell me what information you require to get the money to me.

Sincerely,

Lewis D. Noogie



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 9 Sep 2005

God bless you, I like working for people who appreciates one's effort.please i have an emergency somewhere, i will write you back

Thanks

dic henry



Alhamza Mustafa

Fri, 9 Sep 2005

Hello mr lewis,

i must say congratulations,Detective henry indeed forwarded your name including other ten people whose recorvered money is to be released.

This fund is right here with us but we cannot release without the approval of the president.however, the president will have to approve the EFCC remittance fund releasing form, which will be filled and return back to us for approval from the president.

I do not know if dic henry informed you that a little token will be paid by you to acquire this form which is only $600 (six hundred dollars only).

aside this form you have no other payment to make and your fund will be released instantly.

The procedure:

Immediately we receive the above sum, the form will be sent to you to fill in which you will indicate the name of your bank and the account number in which the fund is to be dropped,then, this form will be approved within 2hrs and the fund is thereby released without any further delay.

Bye

Mustafa



Lewd Noogie

September 9, 2005

Mr. Mustafa,

I thank you for your letter but I don't understand how a form can cost $600! Why would it be so much, surely this must be an error! And, no, dick Henry never mentioned $600.

And you said that this form must be signed by the president - which president?

Thank you,

Lewis D. Noogie



Lewd Noogie

Fri, 9 Sep 2005

dick David,

I was wondering why I haven't heard from you - is everything ok?

How well do you know this barrister Benjamin? He seems to have problems getting the simplest documents right. Every time he sends me an invoice there are more mistakes in it. dick David, I really need my money and I would like to get this thing finished. I could use any suggestions you have.

Ms. Bushburn called me and said that she sent the $500 via Western Union. Do you have it yet?

Let me know what's going on.

Lewd



Benjamin Ikedi

Fri, 9 Sep 2005

ATTN:MR lewis.o.noogie

How are you tody with you family all togather

These are your requirements as you expected it to be, So go ahead and pay up this money first thing tommorow morning or monday so as to aneble us carry out our duties first thing tuiesday morning to the high court.

Regards

Barr.Benjamin



Alhamza Mustafa

Fri, 9 Sep 2005

Am very sorry, that figure was taken from the wrong angle by my secretary.That was surposed to be cost of form for those who are to be remitted within the country.The actual cost for international remittance is $300, you can confirm this from Dic.

The president in question is the president federal republic of Nigeria. (chief Olusegun Obasanjo).

Bye



[dick David is hot on dick Henry's trail...]

David Terevoro

Fri, 9 Sep 2005

DEAR,LEWD

HOW ARE YOU TODAY,

EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT MY FRIEND PLEASE I AM THE PERSON THAT INTRUDUCED THIS BARRISTER TO YOU AND HE IS ONE OF THE BEST HERE ,HE TOLD ME HE GAVE YOU SOME DOCUMENTS REGARDS TO THE PAYMENT ,WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GO AHEAD AND PAY UP AM THERE FOR YOU ,BE REST ASSURED THAT YOUR MONEY IS COMING BACK TO YOU LATEST ON THURSDAY MORNING ,

ABOUT THE WESTERN UNON ,I NEED THE FOLLOWING DETAILS FOR THE COLLECTION OF THE MONEY ,,,,,,,, (1)THE NAME AND THE ADDRESS OF THE SENDER,(2)THE CONTROL NUMBER FROM WESTER UNION (3)THE TEXT QUESTION AND THE ANSWER FROM WESTER UNION,

SO GO AHEAD AND CALL Ms. Bushburn AND TELL HER TO SEND THIS INFORMATION TO YOU IMMEDIATLY BECAUSE MY WIFE IS STILL IN HOSPITAL,THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT AND I PROMISE THAT I WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR MONEY OK,

I DID SPOKE WITH THE BARRISTER LATER TODAY HE TOLD ME THAT YOU TWO ARE GOING ON WITH A BETTER ARRANGEMENTS,AM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT FROM HIM ,GO AHEAD AND CARRY OUT ALL OPPERATIONS WITH HIM BECAUSE I AM THERE FOR YOU TOO ,WE ARE GOING TO THE HIGH COURT ON TUESDAY NEXT WEEK ,SO PAY HIM IMMEDIATLY AND FORGET ABOUT BOND OR NO BOND ABOUT AURDIT HE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT,

GO AHEAD AND PAY I SAID SO .

ABOUT THE OTHER MAN HENRY CAR WE ARE NOW TRYING TO ARREST HIM SO ANY MORE MAIL FROM HIM YOU WORN HIM FOR HIS OWN GOOD BECAUSE HE IS GOING TO FACE HELL IN JAIL ANYTIME FROM NOW ANYMORE MAIL FROM HIM JUST SEND IT DOWN TO ME SO THAT IT CAN WORK AS AN EVIDIENCE FOR HIS ARREST OK BE CAREFUL DONT REPLAY ANYMORE MAILS FROM ANYBODY FOR SECURITY REASON FOR YOUR MONEY .

DIC,DAVID

EFCC NIGERIA



Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 10 Sep 2005

How are you mr Lewi?Have you received your money? please update me so as to ensure checks and balance.

Regards

Dic henry



[dick Henry roots out another mole in the EFCC, his own office assistant, and he's hot on dick David's trail (what a fiasco). Good guys - 10, Bad guys - still 0. We're looking at a shutout here...]

Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 10 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

I have finally identified those people called david and so on.

My office assistant happens to be the one who releases informtion to these guys.

He was caught yesterday when he wanted to collect information from remittance department (mr hamza's office) after thorough touchure he confessed that he has being the one who monitors my mails with you and feed them with up dates for a very little amount which they pay him.He also said that he has been able to still mr hamza's email address already given to them to write you since the deal is now in remittance department.

We are still trying to fish them out.

Please ignore any mail that claims to come from me if such mails does not contain please after my name. I will also advice mr hamza to personalize his mails with please after his name.

Take care

Henry


[Another suspect thoroughly 'touchered' - These EFCC guys play hardball...]


Lewd Noogie

September 12, 2005

dick David,

Sorry I wasn't able to get in touch with you over the weekend. I took a couple days off and Olga, the east German massage therapist and I did some sightseeing. Only problem is that there's nothing to see around this place. We ended up touring the tank factory in Magnitogorsk. Whoopee.

Ms. Bushburn returned from Irkutsk with the information you need.

1. Name and address of sender - Maya Bushburn, Gadyukina, Kurgan Oblast, Russian Federation.
2.Control Number - 1001000233
3. Test Question - When will this end? Answer - Soon
Let me know when you've collected it safely.

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

September 12, 2005

dick Henry,

I'm sorry to hear that your office assistant was one of the fraudstars. Had he worked for you very long? It just goes to show that you can't really trust anyone. However, I congratulate you on your usual efficiency in rooting these dupers out.

dick Henry, I have a concern that I should make you aware of. I was about to send $600 to Mr. Mustafa over the weekend when I received an email from him. He told me that his secretary had made an error and that the remittance fee is actually only $300. Then he told me that the remittance form has to be signed by the president of your country!

Dick Henry, this is the same kind of tactics that the frurdstars used the first time I was swendled. When I was slow to pay them all of a sudden the price starrted coming down and they said the president had to sign some documents for me as well.

dick Henry, I don't believe for a moment that your president would have the slightest interest in what we are doing. There must be hundreds of thousands of transactions like this every day in Nigeria and if he has to sign off on every one of them he wouldn't have time to do president stuff, like invading Zaire or taking vacations. I am probably overly paranoid because of having been stung twice now, but I smell a rat here. Is there some way you could do a quiet investigation of Mr. Mustafa before I send him any money and let me know the results? You are the only one I really trust here and I just want to be sure of what I'm doing.

Thanks.

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

September 12, 2005

dick David,

You are the only one I really trust here and of course I want to be sure of what I'm doing. I have a concern that I should make you aware of.

I was about to send the barrister's fee per the invoice he provided when it occurred to me that something just doesn't seem right. I must admit that I am worried that Barrister Benjamin may be involved with the criminals. I can't exactly put my finger on the problem - his writing style perhaps, his ignorance of the function of an invoice before I explained it to him, little things like that.

dick David, would it be possible to quietly investigate this barrister for possible criminal association? I found a complete listing on the internet of all members of the Nigerian Bar Association and his name was not on it which only increases my suspicion. I know that I probably sound paranoid to you but having been stung twice I want to be very sure who we are dealing with.

Let me know what you find out.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 12 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis, Good Day,

Please am very sorry for such misinformation,if anybody should ask you to pay $600 pls do refer that person to me.

But i most tell you one simple truth, Mr hamza is a hornest man and what he told you may be the way it happened.

But the $300 for the form is right, such amount is for the international remittance,please do feel very free to pay them so that this fund can be given to you as it is begining to take much time, so also you can feel happy and enjoy your money.

Talking about the president signing the form, that is right, please EFCC was esterblished under the thorough supervision of the president. Nobody has ever told you that the president signs every document in the country.

So, there are some few sectors that are monitored closely by the executive himself good example is ours.

Mr lewis, you are going to do something crazy for me out of joy as soon as you receive this fund.Please try and pay them the token very fast and collect your money .

thanks

Dic Henry



[The barrister finally gets the spelling right for 'hoodlums' and 'detective' and almost gets it right for 'fraudsters'. We're making real progress here...]

Benjamin Ikedi

Mon, 12 Sep 2005

Attn:Lewis D. Noogie

Compliments of the day,Hope you and your family are doing great today?i tried calling you today based on the situation at hand to enable us commence immediate action today being monday as expected from us .as you can see,i am a reputable man in the society and it was due to the recomendation of your representative detective david and the trust i confide in him that made me to make sure i render all assistnt to make sure your fund is recoverd to you.iam writing to inform you based on the order commitments i have at hand in proceeding to Abuja for an official duty which i have been on awaitance to recieve the 50% of my requeted feeto enable me commence action as to obtain all legal documents to back up your investigation to make sure the hoodlums are brought to book and have your fund returned back to you.

you are not the only one involved in this kind of case which i earlier handle such few months back.such as the result of scam incident happening around the globe by fraud sters that is the reason why iam interested in this case again.

so i do wait your urgent response upon the confirmation of your payment today.

regards.

Mr Benjamin.



[dick David on the other hand still needs a lot of work...]

David Terevoro

Mon, 12 Sep 2005

Dear, lewis

I am the person you are going to ask questions and i always stand on the truth ,this barrister ben is not an ordinary barr he work for us here,

We have already teasted him ok,I said pay the money to the account number i gave you and i am the person that will pay him for the job,

You are not paying him direct rather to me ,but if you have confidients in me you will not turn down my words ,listen you are weasting a whole lot of time,

FOR GOD SAKE //////////// I DONT LIKE YOUR DELAY INSHORT ,do something let me help you am here for you ok,YOU HAVE OUT OF YOUR SELFISH DELAY AND POSTPONE TOMMOROWS COURT AGAIN THA IS MY ANNOIANCE WITH YOU ,I SAID PAY THIS MONEY SO THAT WE CAN GO TO THE HIGH COURT AND SURTHOUT THIS MONEY AND SEND IT TO YOU ,SEE IF YOU ARE NOT UPRIGHT YOU LET ME KNOW,WHY WILL I BE SPENDING MY TIME WORKING FOR YOU AND YOU DONT APPRICIATE IT,WHAT FOR?GO AHEAD AND PAY THIS MONEY TO EFCC ACCOUNT NUMBER I GAVE YOU ,YOU CAN ONLY SEND IT TO ME AND WRITE HIM TO MEET ME AND COLLECT MONEY THATS ALL.

THANKS FOR THE WESTERN UNION. I WILL WRITE WHEN I GET THE MONEY.

DIC DAVID TEREVORO
EFCC NIGERIA



Lewd Noogie

September 12, 2005

dick Henry,

In all the confusion surrounding these proceedings I don't remember if you or Mr. Mustapha gave me instructions on how to send money to the remittance department. Please excuse me if you did, but could you please send those instructions again.

Thanks.

Lewd



David Terevoro

Mon, 12 Sep 2005

hellow mr noogie,

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPONIMG HERE,YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU SEND SOME MONEY ,WHICH IS THE $500USD YOU PROMISED TO SEND AND YOU GAVE ME A CONTROL NUMBER THIS MORNING AND I WENT TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE TO CASH THE MONEY BUT NO PAYMENT DICTETED WHY IS IT SO? ,MAYBE YOU SEND A WRONG CONTROL NUMBER,BUT I WANT YOU TO SEND ME NOW A SCAN OF THE ORIGINAL COPY OF YOUR PAYMENT AS IN WESTERN UNION,NOW AND CHECK THE CONTROL NUMBER WELL OK,DO THAT AND GET BACK TO ME HAD IT BEEN THAT AM NOT AN OFFICER THEY COULD HAVE ARRESTED ME TODAY WHY?

SO IF YOU ARE SURE YOU SEND IT THROUGH YOUR CO WORKER IN YOUR OFFICE TELL HER TO PROVIDE THE ORIGINAL COPY OK.

WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONCE .

REGARDS

D, DAVID TEREVORO



[I think dick David is in just the right mood for a scrape-off...]

Lewd Noogie

September 13, 2005

dick(head) David,

I gotta tell you, you are about the stupidest mugu I have ever come across. You are dumber than a bag of rocks. Did you really think anybody would fall for that EFCC crap? I've been 'dick'-ing with you for almost a month now and you never had a clue.

But let's let bygones be bygones. We had fun, didn't we? I know I sure did. I only hope that the next mugu I choose to play with is as dim as you are.

dick(head) David, I'm gonna give you the same advice I give all the other 419-scamming assholes - you might as well give this up 'cause you're no good at it. Go back to your village and get a job more in line with your talents. Maybe something like making spearpoints or blowguns or something like that.

Well, I guess that about wraps up these modalities. In parting, just let me say, remain blessed and fulk you. Oh, and tell your 'barrister' Benjamin I said fulk him too.

Your pal,

Lewd



[Seems that dick Henry is also in a cranky mood today...]

Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 12 Sep 2005

Mr lewis please if you are doubting all my struggle for you then forget every thing and i mean every thing, you wrote me trying to confirm if what mr hamza told you was true which i stood on my good office to confirm to you that over my dead dead body will i live to see anybody cheat you or go against the true procedure since we work in the same organisation the only difference is the division of labour,now it has turned to you asking me to re-intruct you again when you know too well that i henry do not work for remittance department.Please hence fort,i have done my best and to God be the glory i have gotten your money out for you.The thank you you gave me is to querry me. Am grateful.

I will stop writing you since you have no trust on me,but atleast, i have connected you to the department incharge of releasing the fund to you, which is the highest anybody in my department can go.If mr Hamza is not been sincere i will report him to the president but in a situation whereby what he told you is the truth what do you want me to do.

Please spare me a breath,i have more than 34 people parading my box asking for the help which i just rendered for one who takes me for noyhing.

Does it look as if if a man of my calibre needs money it will be $300,what will i do with such kobo,May i will bring you to see the person you are insulting.

Please i do not like this kind of question and i will not take it again.Mr hamza himself is a rich man, the presidency provides all we need so what more.

Bye



[...but I'm not ready to turn loose of him just yet.]

Lewd Noogie

September 13, 2005

dick Henry,

I don't understand the sudden venom in your email. You accuse me of being ungrateful because I am trying to be careful? You forget that your organization has been infested with scoundrels, several of whom we manged to root out. You also seem to have forgotten that I sent $1,000 to your Mr. Kingsley who turned out to be a swendler himself. And what about that dictative David Terevoro? A member of your own department and he turns out to be a petty thief as well. And you're upset with me for being careful and a little suspicious??

And why should I not expect you to know how to send money to the remittance department? Even if you work for separate departments you are in the same organization, are you not? If I am prepared to pay this fee, why was it was too much to ask you to send me the instructions?

I must say I'm very disappointed in you, sir. What I once thought was a highly professional, first-class organization has been shown to be made up of overly-sensitive, highly irritable people with less than the integrity of their agency at heart. You are supposed to be caring civil servants, there to help people like myself.

If you no longer wish to help I will accept my losses as lessons learned and carry on. Please be aware of my extreme disappointment with you and your agency.

Lewis Noogie



Dictative Henry Car

Tue, 13 Sep 2005

Subject: Good brother forgive me

Mr Lewis, please accept my appology, am sorry, i didn't mean it that way, is just that i was some how ofset before your mail, there was actually a task before me by the president which my boys were unable to achieve, so, i was much carried away by anger,please you are a gentle man as my self understand with me and please forgive me, am very sorry.

For sure a man of your kind will be much careful than any one else,please am sorry.Please, i will get every information on how you can send the money and send it to you or alternatively you email mr hamza to give you the details on how to send.

One thing i want to reassure you, is that am here for people like you to bring their sorrows to joy again and it has happened to so many since inception of EFCC so yours is only one of them.Your money has been received by me before handing over to them is it not as if am still truggling to get it out.

Please, your money is for you.you are one of the closest friends (foreigners), why would you have me and still encounter problems which is not possible.

Should incase you wish to venture into any business ask my advice i will give you to the best of my knowledge.

Please there is no cause for alarm, Nigeria's reputation must be restored both internationally and lacally that my mottor.

Please with due respect i apologise once more.

OKey to be sure of every transaction, let me be the one to send you the method of payment, even, you can pay to my own department then i will take to them by myself.

May the almighty God bless you.

Regards

Dic Henry

pls



[As I sit here in my office, staring at the huge pile in my inbox and dealing with hotel problems, an idea occurs to me! I wanna be a cop too!]

Lewd Noogie

September 13, 2005

dick Henry,

Well, maybe it is I who should apologize for being so suspicious. Please understand that I've lost a lot of money since I got mixed up with the original fradstars and I feel somewhat embarrassed that they were able to swendle me so easily. You have been a friend to me through this so let's just let bygones be bygones.

dick Henry, you've probably noticed that I envy you your job. There must be a lot of satisfaction in apprehending crooks like you do. I have only watched you for a short time and your arrest record has been excellent. I know I sort of hinted at it before, and I know you think I'm being, well, silly, but I wish there were some way I could stay involved with catching these crooks. Isn't there some way I could be like an EFCC foreign agent or something like that? I would do anything to become a part of your organization. You said you would be willing to advise me on business ventures but I really would like your advice on this.

International hotel consulting makes a lot of money but it's just so boring. If I were working for someone like you I could have excitement in my life and still feel like I was really accomplishing something. I've been in this business for 16 years and I'm tired of it. I know your job has a lot of pressure involved but you have that thrill of the chase that I just don't have in my life. I would do anything for a just a chance.

Please, any advice you can give me.

Your pal,

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Tue, 13 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

Thank you very much for your understanding.

I want to sit down to thinkabout the advice you need from me, however, i will get back to you shortly on that.

Concering the fund releasing, here is the information inwhich you can use to pay in, immediately you pay please let me know so that i can collect the money by myself and pay to remittance department and collect that form and send to you, after which the fund will be released to you.

I will advice you to send the money thruogh western union money transfer with my account clark name.

NAME: COSMASS OKELUE,
ADRESS:LAGOS,NIGERIA.
TEXT QUETION: WHEN,
TEXT ANSWER: TODAY,
AMOUNT:
SENDERS NAME:
ADDRESS:

Await for payment information.

THANKS
DIC HENRY

pLS



Lewd Noogie

September 13, 2005

dick Henry,

I thank you for your usual prompt response.

I'm sure I told you there is no Western Union here in Gadyukina. My Administrative Assistant Ms. Bushburn occasionally goes to Irkutsk on personal business; I'm sure that there's a Western Union there, but it's about a 9-hour drive to get there. I will find out when she intends to go again.

Meanwhile, please let me know as soon as possible about careers in the EFCC. I'm very serious about this and the more I think about it the more interested I am.

I anxiously await your information.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Tue, 13 Sep 2005

Thanks mr lewis,

You requested two things of me, firtly, your job in a hotel and working with us.No 1. your job, you said that the hotel makes a lot of money but very boring, now, my question is, does that money gets to you, as in do you benefit from that money? if yes, then remain there, the purpose of every job is to make money which increases your standard of living and forget about boriness. but if no then the answer is to stop the job, but please do not stop without an alternative, that means that, you do not resign your job to be an aaplicant.therefore, you have to work but working with time and target towards living the company within a specific period of time.you can give yourself say six months and within this period you must have saved some money that could esterblish you higher and ensure that the next line of business is one that you know and can handle very well.

No 2. working with me, yes very interesting,but difficult.my job is a grate one that can give you respect where ever you go and even make you rich within a short time.but the problem is getting employed,when i was recruited some years back we were 18 in number but at the end only 6 of us made it to the top of which God himself elevated me to govern them now with other people emploed thereafter. then reason why they were unable to make was because of high application fee been paid then which was equivalent to about $1500 now,though, this money was spent in sending us for training, but today, i have recovered 1000 times of that money.

In march this year we agreed to have international fractions which their registration have started but one thing is that their new fee for those who have applied internationally is equilivent to $2300, though we need only 15 people from international market, and since you are keen about this i can help you get employed since the interview will be conducted by me. so you can apply for the application form, the entry will close on the 28th of this month.I will really be happy to work with you life.

So how long can it take you to make the payment for the fund releasing you can take permission go and come back to the office .

Thanks

Dic Henry

pls



Lewd Noogie

September 14, 2005

dick Henry,

I'm trying to talk Ms. Bushburn into making a trip to Irkutsk this weekend to see her boyfriend and to send the money while she's there. Problem is, they had a fight the last time she was there and she's still pissed off at him. I'll keep working on her and let you know before the weekend.

I thank you so much for the employment advice. Go ahead and send me the application form and I'll fill it out and get it right back to you. I can't tell you how excited I am about this! I feel like I'm beginning a whole new life! I get a badge, don't I? What about a piece? I DO get to carry a gat, right? I promise I won't fan it!

Please send it as soon as possible.

Thanks again.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Wed, 14 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

You are no longer my friend but a brother to me and the relationship that existed between David and Jonathan in the Bible shall exist between us,I will love to send you this application form now but the problem is that it is in the hand of mr mustafa, he sees about remittance and anything that has to do with issueing of forms as this and it is useally when you make payment that the forms will be sent to you.but as it is, just like i have assured you of getting emloyment in this regard, i will pay $1000 for you out of that $2300 ,So if you have the balance of $1300 you can send it with the other fund immediately before the expiration of the date.

You have seen me but i have not seen you for once, how can i see the face of this my best friend to be by name Mr Lewis.

My brother, do your best, God is about to give you a new begining.

Thanks

Dic Henry

pls



Lewd Noogie

September 15, 2005

Mr. Mustafa,

dick Henry has referred me to you to obtain the form that has to be filled out to apply for employment with the EFCC. He has been kind enough to advance pay $1,000 and I understand that I am to pay the remaining $1,300 at the time I submit the form.

I am very anxious to begin this process so please send the form as email attachment as soon as possible.

Thank you very much and I hope to be working with you soon! Lewis D. Noogie



Alhamza Mustafa

Thu, 15 Sep 2005

Hellow, That will be too kind of Dic Henry,but the form is not been released unless we receive the obtainance fee.

Since Dic Henry has promissed to pay $1000 for you, i know he will do that but the balance of $1300 has to be paid all together before the form can be given to you.

Did Dic henry inform you that the entry will close this month?.

If you can pay the $1300 then i will collect $1000 from Dic and then send the form to you and this has to be given some urgent attention.

Regards

Mr mustafa



Lewd Noogie

September 16, 2005

Mr. Mustafa,

Your request that I pay for the form before I receive it makes no sense at all. What if, based on the questions on the form, I decide to decline to apply. If so then I've paid you $1,300 (plus what dick Henry will give you) for a piece of paper. That just isn't right. Can you please double-check your procedures on this. My previous experience in these matters has always been that the application fee is submitted with the application form.

Thanks as always.

Lewis Noogie



Alhamza Mustafa

Fri, 16 Sep 2005

My Dear

am sorry these rules were layed down before i joined this force, therefore was not made by me, so i have no option than to follow the law, remember our general duty is fighting curruption therefore there should be no trace of coruption in and within us. I am the auditor of this firm and what ever i tell you is the way it is,if i can help you in any way i would have done that atleast because of Dic but he can explain better to you on the oath sworn before us, besides i do not want to loose my job.

Thanks

Mustafa



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 16 Sep 2005

My Dear brother,

Am i sure every thing is alright over there.I have not been hearing from you, this is why i decided to know if you are alright at all.I have given the $1000 to Mr mustafa today, not to worry every thing will fall in place again, how about that woman, will she still be travelling?Please take a good care of yourself.

Thanks

Dic Henry

pls



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 16 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

sorry, I forgot to tell you in my previous mail that Mr mustafa told me that you wrote him and that he does not like the manner inwhich you were suspecting him,though, i took my time to explain to him all that you have been through in the hands of fraudstars even though we have been able to recorver the sums, yet the shock is not yet of you.Please, i also understand you more than any other person over here , please do take it easy on them,i am here for you and others please.I have gotten your money for you and have also promised your employment nomatter what it costs me.please take a good care of yourself.

Dic Henry

pls



Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 17 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

How are you today,how come you have decided not to attend to my mails all of a sudden,is any thing the matter?, please if there is anything wrong somewhere do let me know if i can be of any help.

Thanks

Dic Henry.

pls



Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 17 Sep 2005

Dear Mr lewis,

It is quite a shocking moment that you do no longer border to reply my mails,however, if there is anything that has gone wrong any where i think that i should be informed but if on the other way round you have made up your mind not to write me again then there is still no problem.But the issue still remains on collecting your recorvered fund. You can forget about your moves towards joining my force, meanwhile i will find a way of retrieving the $1000 dollars which i have already paid on your behalf.

Please write so that i can know the next line of action to take.

Thank you

Dic

pls



[A little vacation time is in order and I'm going to have to set aside the task of saving the world from frurdstars for a couple of weeks. I better give dick Henry an excuse for the forthcoming minimal correspondence...]

Lewd Noogie

September 19, 2005

dick. Henry,

Please be patient. We have had a major problem here at the hotel. There was a meeting of the G8 here over the weekend and the representative from France was attacked and mauled by a sasquatch. Who knew those things were living in the forest behind the hotel! The French representative was terribly injured, I'm sure you've seen it in the newspapers there. The entire area is crawling with military and police.

I haven't changed my mind about anything and I'll get back to you as soon as things are under control again.

Your future partner,

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 19 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,Thank you very much,at least my mind could be at rest now i know that you are okey, i was much concerned about your health.

however, sorry for what happened in the Hotel and i do believe if you have a hard working team as i have over here the truth will come out.Sorry to those who were injured.

But please do take proper care over every situation,though, time is not on our side regarding to our previous discussions.

please do Horry up as soon as things normalize,i would have loved to pay some more part of that money for you but i just bought a magnificient house somewhere in the G.R.A and that cost me a lot of money but in which ever way that i can assist you i will definitely do that.I await your response soon.

Thanks

Dic Henry.

pls



Dictative Henry Car

Tue, 20 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

How are you today,i do hope every thing is under control.Well i just write to know how you are doing today.

God bless you

Dic Henry.



Dictative Henry Car

Wed, 21 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

How are you?

how is every thing in the hotel, have they been put back to shape? I have not been able to hear from you again. time is really not on our side besides what has come to your way is a one time life opportunity, i appeal to you to utilize this chance to work with me and enjoy the benefits of job.Your money also awaiting release for quite some time now, yet nothing is beng done about it, i do not understand, yes i know something happened over there but some time should be giving towards fighting for your private life.Today is 21st and the application ends 28th.Please do let me know the next line of action.

Thanks

Dic Henry

pls



Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 22 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

How are you? I do hope things are now in proper shape over there.Please, i was just meant to know today that every other person have successfully collected their recorvered fund except you.Please, if not for any reason atleast for the reason of those out there who never believed that any thing good could come out of nigeria to see , hear and believe that indeed there is a turn around as regards to corruption fights.Please you can forget about joining my squared if you do not have the money for the foam but collect your money please so that my mind can settle down on that matter.

Thanks

Dic

pls



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 23 Sep 2005

Mr lewis,

How is everything?you promised to write me very soon but up till now i have not received any signal from you. You have really discouraged every effort that i put down towards realizing your fund, i thought you will be one of those who have always whished me more powers to my elbore.If you are no longer interested even in collecting your own money that God himself helped to realize for you then let me know so that we can issue Recorvered expense permission foam to you that will serve as a permition from you for the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT to spend the the recovered fund. since we can not spend your money without your permission.But if there is anything wrong i think i should have been kept informed rather than keeping me on suspence just like you did.

Please i will appreciate if you can write me so as to know what action to take.

Thanks

Dic Henry



Dictative Henry Car

Sun, 25 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

Please is anything the matter?Ihave never experience a thing like this since the inception of my job.please write to me atleast let me know what that is happening over there.

Thnks

Dic henry



Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 26 Sep 2005

How are you mr Lewis,

Please i still await your mail

Thanks

Dic Henry

pls



Alhamza Mustafa

Tue, 27 Sep 2005

Hellow,

It seems you do not want to collect your recorvered fund?.

I called Dic henry to know why your fund is taken much time for claims and he says you have some problems in your working place but that for quite a long time now that he has not been able to hear from you.

Every other person have claimed their funds remining only you and very soon i shall be proceeding on my annual leave, please it will be better if you can claim your fund before my leave.

Thank you

Mr Hamza



Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mustafa,

My sincere apologies for not responding sooner but you can't imagine the problems I've been dealing with here. Please know that I have every intention of claiming the fund and continuing with my employement process. Please tell dick. Henry I will be getting back to the both of you in detail as soon as possible.

Lewd



Alhamza Mustafa

Thu, 29 Sep 2005

Hellow,

which kind of problem do you mean and why have you not contacted Dic if he can assit you since he has all international connections.

please hurry up before i proceed on my leave. I must be sincere to you ,you are not handling things the way they should, Dic has not been happy with you after going through though times in trying to get your money for you ,did he tell you that one of his boys had a serious injury on the curse of geting your money?.

Thanks
Mr Hamza


[Since one of dick Henry's men was seriously injured in recovering my money, I feel that in all fairness that the bad guys be considered as having scored. Good Guys - 10, Bad Guys - 1... ]


Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 30 Sep 2005

Mr Lewis,

How are you?

I have nothing to say than to say a great thank you to you for making every effort of mine a wasted one.You have not just discouraged me but have also made me to feel bad, anyway my job progresses since i still have those who still appreciate me and my job.You have not even kept your words for just ones, you told me that you were appealing to a coleaque of yours to go and see her boy friend and then the payment will be made from there,later you made mention of the incident that took place in your office and you promised to keep me informed as soon as things normalises but to my utmost supprise you have never made any attempt of even saying Dic this the position of things for my information.This thing is not as if it is a problem but a matter of communication which i believe that if indeed you really trust me i should not be far from any thing.Well, i do not want to sound strange, i have pleaded with mr hamza to retain one of those employment forms for you based on the $1000 which i have already deposited in your name since the time has expired on the 28/9/05, which he has promised to keep for me but please if you know that you are no longer interested please do let me know so that i can collect my money back.On the issue of your recorvered fund, a memo was circulated that mr hamza will be proceding on his annual leave, i do think it will be better you claim your fund before that time.

Please it will help our relationship if you can just repy this mail.

Thanks
Dic Henry



Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 1 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis

How many times have i written you that you have willingly and confortably decided not to reply any of them, please i shall not stand chances of being blamed at the end of the day.Probably you may have started some more dealings but my advice says be carefull in what ever you wish to do as i can not put down your reason for not replying any of my mails anylonger, probably i may put a full stop to all these informal roles that i have been playing towards you.

Thanks
Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 2, 2005

dick Henry,

I'm very sorry not to have responded sooner but you must understand the situation I'm dealing with here. The sasquatch attack on the French G8 representative threatens to develop into a full-blown international incident. As hard as we've tried to keep things quiet, news of the attack has leaked to the press and they're having a field day with it. I've got reporters from the National Enquirer camped on my doorstep. All this for some French guy. Go figure.

I more than ever want to get out of this business. There's nothing that would make me happier than to just walk away from this place and let the chips fall where they may but my sense of responsibility is too strong. As soon as this is over, though, you and I are gonna get down to brass tacks.

I expect thid will pretty much be under control by the middle of the week. I'll get back to you then and we'll take care of the fund recovery and get my employement situation back on track.

Please be patient.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 3 Oct 2005

This would have been much better if you had done this on time, however, i can see the zeal in you to live that job and this can easily be achieved if you can follow the procedures that i can place for you just like i said earlier before now my job can take a very good care of you,you will live confortably but you are not making me feel like you are serious about it and if indeed you are then be very serious about it so that you can live that hotel and join me fast.

Do make sure you reply me within the week as you promised, then we will know what next to do from there.

Thanks
Dic



Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 6 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis,

What else would you want me to say now.

please am tired of appealing to you just to remit your own money that i will never be spending with you, you promised to get intouch with me very soon and the very soon never ends.

please remitt your fund so that i can wash my hands off your transactions please.

Thank you
Dic



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 7 Oct 2005

You have just proofed to me not to ever take you by your words .

Am not budered,you just gave me discouragement for birth but i can never be discouraged in my job.

Am happy in this great field.

have a nice day

Dic



[Back from vacation and I'm ready to get back into crime-fighting mode...]

Lewd Noogie

Sun, 9 Oct 2005

dick Henry,

I'm sorry that it took me so long to get back to you but the crisis here finally appears to be over. There was apparently some confusion over the nationality of the mauled G8

representative. Once the authorities here realized he was French they started wondering what all the hubbub was about and they packed up and left. Things are pretty much back to normal.

I hope everything is well with you but I am more anxious than ever to quit this line of work. I'm ready to join you in your efforts to take down fraudstars and finally realize some personal satisfaction in my work.

So where are we and what do I need to do?

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Sun, 9 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis,

I have done everything within my power just to assist you but you took me as one of those boys probably out there but please am not.

However, thank God everything is finally over,

I have paid the sum of $1000 to mr Hamza inorder to secure employment opportunity for you and if not that i just bought a house in the G R A which cost me a lot of money i would have volunteered to pay the balance of the money for you but as it i have done my best to proof that i really want you to work with me if you really wish to.

Just effect the payment for the form, the balance is $1300 as fast as posible.i have in different times given you my word of asitanceand and i still stand on it.i will do my best for you, I have seen you eager to live your job and am ready to take you up.It is all left for you.

Regarding your recorvered funds you seems not to be saying anything about it again. you were after my life when left your job.

please getback to me urgently.

thanks
Dic



Lewd Noogie

September 10, 2005

dick Henry,

I finally got some rest last night, my head is clear, and I'm ready to make my move.

I spoke with Ms. Bushburn, my admin assistant, to find out when she will be travelling to Irkutsk again. She told me that she will possibly be going there next weekend and can get to the Western Union office while she's there. She said she'll let me know on Thursday or Friday if she'll be going.

dick Henry, I'm very much in a hurry to accomplish everything. Let me ask - if I send you the $1,300 for the application form and another $300 for recovering my fund, would you be able to hold the fund money for me? I trust you completely and I will feel more comfortable knowing that it's in your hands instead of the remitance department. Please let me know as soon as possible.

Have you made any more progress in the last couple of weeks in catching any more fradstars? Every time I hear that you've caught somebody I get excited all over again. After all, it's catching these guys that first inspired me to join your department. Please let me know of any progress you've made.

Thanks,

Your partner,
Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 10 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis

You sound more like a seriouse person now than ever, meanwhile, i do believe your admin person will not become a sourse of delay to this development, if like you have just said you can effect this payments as fast as possible then i do not see any more delay anywhere,as a matter of fact you are dealing with me directly and this employment has to do with my department inwhich i have the power and right to select those i want to work with me therefore you have nothing to worry about only get that form is all i need from you so that we can open your offer of employment file.

The issue of holding your recorvered fund for you, that i can do for you if that is what you want me to do for you but i thought it would have been better i collect the fund from remittance department and send it to you by my very self so that you can also make use of the fund maybe to settle one or two things over there.But if you advice that i keep it for you sure your fund will be safe till when you join me and probaly wish to collect it.

My dear, the issue of apprehending this guys is no more a mere talk, infact my wife is beginig to fight with me because she could hardly see me again except speaking to her on phone and you know sometimes a woman will certainly need her husband even though she has everything , so am more busy that ever before,

my sail room is filled up and my boys are just wonderful. I dont know if you have heard of one of our gorvernors arrested abroad for money laundering, infact that state has become my second office as the youths there are making lots of troubles and the president has giving me charge to make that that the oil pipe lines are not tampered with while my boys are after the fraud stars we have in our list presently.

Please it will be very good if you can facilitate all these things very fast without much delay because you have wasted a lot of time.

Thank you

Dic



Dictative Henry Car

Wed, 12 Oct 2005

How are you mr Lewis?

I need to know what we should be doing from now

Please get intouch with me.

Dic



Lewd Noogie

Wed, 12 Oct 2005

dick. Henry,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. There was quite a bit of work that piled up while I was busy with the sasquatch affair and I've been trying desperately to catch up.

Maya (Ms. Bushburn) will be heading to Irkutsk on Saturday morning with Olga, the East German massage therapist. Maya will visit her boyfriend and Olga wants to buy canvas to make a new dress. Maya will get to the Western Union office while she's there. I'm sending $1,600 with her, $1,300 for the employement application and $300 for you to use to reclaim my money. I really appreciate your doing that for me.

I don't like to put you through a lot of trouble but any time you manage to catch more frudstars please keep me informed. I get so excited when I hear you've caught one of those bastards that I just want to drop everything and fly down there where you and your team are.

Thanks very much.

Your partner,
Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Wed, 12 Oct 2005

Mr lewis,

I got your mail and there is no problem, just ensure that the money is paid on saturday as you said so that by monday or tuesday your fund will get to you and on my own side i will tidy up every thing about your employment then i shall aswell inform you of your remunerations interms of salaries and every other information that you will need.

I just remitted some about $48.200 today to one mr bruno, this fund was collected from him by these guys on the bases that they were going to transfer some fund into his account for safe keeping at the end they started asking him to pay for one thing and the other,this recorvered fund was a payment he made just in two installments. he was about making the third time before he got my mail he then sent me every information about them and asked me to assist him to confirm the genuineness of that transaction but when i realized they defrauding him i stoped that third payment that he was about to make and then used his email addres to write them and they replied me then i schedule the date on which i will make the payment to them. on that day they came to that hotel unknowongly to them my boys were all over the place and that was how they were captured and they started vomiting all that they have collected from him and today his money has been sent back to him while the idiots remain in custody.

Am out for them and there is no going back.Please do not waste much time again on this.

Thank you
Dic


[dick Henry doesn't say how many idiots were apprehended but he again uses the plural. Applying the minimum-2 rule, this makes the score Good Guys - 12, Bad Guys - 1...]


Lewd Noogie

October 13, 2005

dick Henry,

Everything looks a go for this weekend. Ms Bushburn talked to her boyfriend last night and they're both set for a frenzied, lust-filled weekend. She'll be leaving for Irkutsk tomorrow evening with the money.

Let me congratulate you on another outstanding job of apprehension. How many of the dupers did you catch this time? Was there any action when you caught them? Was anyone injured or wounded? Please, it's the details of the capture that I'm interested in.

I'll verify to you tomorrow when Ms. Bushburn leaves.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 13 Oct 2005

Subject: You make me look Confused

Mr Lewis

Am very Much surprise the way you sounded this time, i want to ask you a question, if you catch a thief what would you do to him?.

these are people who were almost beaten to death both the reason why we dont destory them immediately as was directed by the president is because we always give them time to reveal others.

so we do not pitty any one caught under this act.

Am saying this again, if you really and i mean really want to work with me judiciously utilize this opportunity, like i said earlier ensure no failure for your own benefit and not mine.does it mean you can not take a day off work to go and settle something that can better your life tomorrow?. I really do not understand your mind/faith.

Thanks
Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 14, 2005

dick Henry,

I'm sorry if I have caused any kind of confusion, it certainly was not my intent.

Regarding my attitude toward catching the criminals, I think how you do it depends on the circumstances. If you want to capture someone for information then of course you try to take them alive, maybe only wounded. But if you are not looking for them to lead you to someone else then I say you lay down a wall of lead, waste 'em, and then bayonette the wounded. Hopefully you don't take out an excessive number of innocent bystanders. You yourself said the president gave you shoot-to-kill orders when capturing these guys and he must have had his reasons for doing so. He sounds like a stand-up kind of guy to me.

I understand you when you talk about taking a day off from work for something that can influence the rest of your life but I always maintain a fall-back position in case something doesn't work out. I don't want to burn any bridges before I am certain of my position in your organization. But thinking about what you said, you have given me an idea, a good one. To ensure that you get the money by this weekend, let's do this - get the $1,000 that you paid for my application form back from Mr. al Hamza, use $300 of that money to recover my money, then use $2,300 of my money to pay for my application in full. Send me the application and then you hold the rest of my money until I can get there. This is perfect, I don't know why neither one of us thought of this before!

I told Ms. Bushburn to go ahead and take off for Irkutsk, and not to worry about Western Union. I didn't really like the idea of sending that much cash with her anyhow.

Ok, dick Henry, we're getting close on this. Please get that application form to me as soon as you can so I can fill it out and get it back to you.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 14 Oct 2005

mr lewis,

I want to believe you are getting it all wrong, No body under the EFCC is allowed by virque of law to touch or tamper with any recorvered fund, asking me to retreive the deposit i made for you looks like you are still suspecting my dealings with you,and at this point i will withdraw my deposit, please from hence forth record has it that i Dic Henry has recorvered your looted funds and has aswell handed it over to the remittance department, it is hence forth your duty to laise with mr Hamza on how your fund can get to you since my role in this regard is beging to stain me. If i may ask you a question, had it been that i did not make that deposit for you what would you be using to make this kind of reference. Mr lewis am a man with personal responsibilites aswell my helping you should not in any way brought about suspects.

You have always doubted what ever instruction that i gave you, today you will tell me something and tomorrow another story.Yes i know that you are trying to be carefull then it should not be such that you could no longer be atticulative and sensitive to the kind of help i have rendered to you.Mr lewis am withdrawing my deposit back to my pocket, please laise with mr Hamza on the next thing to do, my hands are off. I have never mandated you to join my team it was out of the interest you had for my job therefore i do not know any reason why you should be turning me up and down. You know mr Hamza cannot afford to endure all that i have taking in the name of helping you.

thanks
Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 15, 2005

dick Henry,

I have been sitting here at my computer all morning trying to figure a way to respond to your last email, and all I can come up with is, 'What the hell are you talking about??'

When I asked you to recover my money and hold it for me, you said there was no problem. Why is doing that all of a sudden a problem now? At the moment you have $1,000 of your own money being held in suspense for my application form. I tell you how to get YOUR money back and start using MY money for these expenses and you have a problem with that?? Why??

And what have you 'endured' by trying to help me? Of course I appreciate the help you have given but I don't think there has been anything extreme you've had to do. It was fully my intention to reimburse you with a little something extra once you got my money from the remitance department.

dick Henry, I gotta tell you, this sudden change in attitude is exactly the kind of thing I used to see in my ex-wife. Are you dealing with some kind of hormone problem or something like that? I am thoroughly confused.

I really don't want to have to deal with Mr. Hamza on this. I can still send the money with Ms. Bushburn but if you're backing out then I guess we're finished.

Sorry to see it end this way.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 15 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis,

You never told me that you had an ex-wife, please there is just one thing i want you to understand about this Dic Henry, am always mad at anything that comes my way even i can be mad at a little baby any time there is presure of work on me or there was a target that was missed. please i went through your mail when i was in such condition, am praying that i drop such attitude even peolpe in my department are not finding it easy when ever it comes that way, please bear with me.

Now, talking about holding your fund for you untill you are here does not imply that the cash will be with me or will be in my pocket or my bank account, rather what i mean by that is to ensure the safety of that money in the recorvered fund account, i want to believe here that it was my own mistake not to have explained this to you before now, please accept my appology though i never had in mind that it will turn out this way as demanded by you lately, probably that would have lead to such explanations.

The $1000 which i paid as i write to you is not as if it is even in mr Hamza's hand, rather, he is the EFCC auditor general who oversees about recorvered fund and their remittances, including things like forms and so on.So for me to recorver that money back is just an attempt which i need to make if at the end am able to get fine but if not then i will forget about it ,since it was only mr hamza that i told everything ablout the help i wish to render to you as a matter of fact nobody was surposed to know that i paid from my pocket since such would generate suspicious minds., Am very much afraid at this point because when you indicated your interest in working with me i told mr Hamza to go ahead to book you on the ground that both the $2300 and the $300 will be coming together which actully prompted my making that deposit , therefore that left your account to be having some balance to pay and if you do not pay that balance my dear am very much afraid on how i can get back my money i must be sincere to you.Had it been it would be that easy for sure i would have loved to do that for you atleaset it is your money aswell.

Mr lewis assist me and assist your self, I know things are not very easy but if you can just try and effect that payment so that my money will not be a waste atleast i worked for it i will be so grateful. .Try please, I would like to speak to you can you send me your phone number?.

thanks
Dic



Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 15 Oct 2005

Subject: Do be confused

Mr lewis

Please bear with me do not be confused or embarrased i just opened my sent mail to you and indeed the tone of the mail was not good.

And please atleast reduce the rate of hitting back on me with some insulting words, if all thing work well this man will one day be your boss. i want you to be firm as am still very much at your service aswell as others out there.

Thank you
Dic



Lewd Noogie

Sat, 15 Oct 2005

dick Henry,

Listen, nobody knows better than I do how job pressure can make you do and say things you don't mean. I understand that, so don't worry about anything you said before.

When you told me you would hold my money for me I understood it to mean that you would do just that - "hold" my money. Leaving it in an EFCC account is not holding it. I had visions of getting out of this place soon, coming down there and making a fresh start. Now we're going to be delayed until Ms. Bushburn goes back to Irkutsk again. I wish there were some other way to cut through all this.

dick Henry, I still find it extremely unusual that I would have to pay $2,300 just to receive an application form. It makes no sense to me at all. Even if there is an application fee, it's always provided when you turn in a form. Always. I don't understand this at all. You see, this is why I'm still suspicious of this Mustafa guy. He's the one who's telling us this crap and it just doesn't sound right. I know you trust him but I think you ought to poke around in his background, check him out a little closer. Nope, it just doesn't sound right.

Lewd



[As you can see from this next one, dick Henry has decided it's time to remove the buttons from the foils...]

Dictative Henry Car

Sun, 16 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis,

I want to say a million times thank you to you alone, am gratefull you were alble to understand me, am making every effort to caution myself of such attitude.

How soon will the woman be making that payment,and do note that you need not to pay $2300, the $1000 i paid on your behalf is still in record, just send the balance of $1300 and the $300 for fund releasing totaling $1600 only. If can do this tomorrow so that i can finalize every arrangement immediately.

about mr Hamza, if you notice in your office over there, auditors or accauntants as the case may be are usually acting funny but i am a detective officer, i make use of my Psychology very well therefore you have nothing to budder about, am here and my attentions are awake.

Ones more mr lewis i wish to say thank you for your understanding.

I did not see your phone number i requested for or you do not wish to give me?. I burnt one native doctor alife yesterday,We arrested one of the 419s after a thorough tauchure he confessed that they make of that native doctor in there 419 job so myself and my boys went on getting there the man started incanting some funny things againt us, so i ordered my boys to shoot him on the leg and as soon as that was done we grabed him immediately and set tyres on him followed by fire and he was burnt to ashes.

Thank you
dic


[Whoa! One suspect thoroughly tauchered and another one barbecued. Their methods may seem a tad on the extreme side but you gotta admitit is producing results. Score is now Good guys - 14, Bad guys - 1...]


Lewd Noogie

October 17, 2005

dick Henry,

Now you're talkin' my language, Homes! You are the MAN! This is how you stop these guys, by making examples of a few of 'em. I stand in awe and my hat is off to you for another job well done.

I am so fired up now! Maya (Ms. Bushburn) came back from Irkustsk last night and I told her she has to go back there tomorrow to go to Western Union. She's resisting me but don't worry, I'll talk her into it.

Save some for me!

Lewd

... and on into November ...

Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 17 Oct 2005

Thank you mr lewis,

Please do everything you have to do urgently, i need to teach you my job like i did to the wonderful team that i have today.

Please we have no much time left, talk to her to go today more better.

But mr lewis why are you running away from giving me your phone number.

Any way it is better known to you.

Please i expect to hear from you urgently.

thank you
Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 18, 2005

dick Henry,

My apologies for not sending my number sooner; it certainly was not my intent to hide it from you. I just get so excited sometimes thinking about the major change in my life that I'm embarking upon that I forget the details.

The number here at the hotel is 7-095-064-8597. Just ask the operator for me and she can find me.

I'm still working on getting Ms. Bushburn to go back to Irkutsk this week. Problem is she had another fight with her boyfriend and says she never wants to see him again. Not to worry, though, she goes through these little tantrums about twice a month. I'll call her boyfriend today and try to smooth things over. I think I can get her to go back on Thursday. I'll let you know when she leaves.

Lewd


[The phone number is that of the Moscow 'where-the-hell-did-they-tow-my-car' hotline...]


Dictative Henry Car

Henry Car

Tue, 18 Oct 2005

Mr lewis

Thank you for the number but i would have frefered your direct number,however, ensure she goes unfailingly on that thursday or mr lewis does it mean that you cannot do things by yourself, what this means is that if that woman refuses to go that means you have no moves again?.

Please i do not really admire this idea.

Am off with my boys to get some fraud stars somewhere, i shall let you know on the development.

Please make that day a date, am a bit worried on why things are like this.

Thank you

Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 19, 2005

dick Henry,

It's obvious you haven't spent much time around European women. You can't MAKE them do anything they don't want to do. Even look at them wrong and you can end up in court on sexual harrassment charges. I can't remember the number of times Ms. Bushburn has threatened to drag my ass to court, just for an occasional peek down the front of her dress. No, my friend, you don't want to cross a woman here.

But don't worry, I talked to Ms. Bushburn's boyfriend, got him to call her, and everything is smoothed over for the moment. I also threw a few rubles at her and told her to take a long weekend as extra enticement. She'll be leaving for Irkutsk tomorrow morning.

So how did yesterday's manhunt go? Did you catch any bad guys? Once you have the money how long do you think it will take to get the application form to me?

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Wed, 19 Oct 2005

Thank you Mr Lewis,

Things are looking more upright as the case may be.

As soon as she pays in the money tomorow, i will single handedly go and collect both forms by my very self and send them to you immediately intead of living the processes for my secretary.However, if the money reaches me tomorow, then expect the forms on friday and please make sure they are filled immediately and return back to me that day.

Yes we caught those thieves yesterday, one was shoot dead as he tries to jumb the fence and was buried immediately in military cantonment burial ground while the other two are under going turchure time, though they have acepted that they dooped $10,000 from mr Nicolas, today they will be going to their bank with my boys to fish out that money so that we can return it back to mr Nicolas.Though he mailed me yesterday to know the development which i will be repling him as soon as i drop your mail now.

Please i await tomorow.

Thank you

Dic
[My encouraging dick Henry to use his shoot-to-kill option is paying off! While I feel that the 'turchuring' of suspects may be getting out of hand a bit, you just can't argue with results. Good guys - 17, Bad guys - 1...]

Lewd Noogie

October 20, 2005



dick Henry, Three more down! dick Henry, you are such a dick! I bet every fradstar in Nigeria must tremble in fear at the very mention of your name.

Maya (Ms. Bushburn) left for Irkutsk with the money this morning and she should arrive there this evening. I don't know if she'll get there before Western Union closes but she'll send it tomorrow at the latest. If you can send the paperwork on Saturday I'll fill it out and get it back to you so you can submit it on Monday.

I'm going to start selling off a few thngs here, getting rid of all my heavy winter clothes. I don't think I'll need them anymore.

I tried to talk Olga, the East German massage therapist into coming with me but she doesn't want to leave her job at the hotel. I'm gonna miss her, but tell me - do you have beautiful women there in Lagos?

Lewd
[dick Henry lays out some of the 'perks' of being an EFCC Dictative...]

Dictative Henry Car

Thu, 20 Oct 2005

I got your mail Mr lewis,

Since she left this morning and probably will get there later today, lets hope she will be making the payment later today or first thing tomorow morning, but how do i know when it is paid in since she is a bit far from you in terms of communication, so that i can collect it and start the processes without wasting time.

Mr lewis, if you are the type that likes women, your working with me or the EFCC per say will position you in such a way that you need not to toast any lady rather they will chase you and believe you me you will get tired of beautiful ladies, this one of the reasons why my wife feels like following me where ever i go, if not that most times i move on convoy of armies she would have succeeded, not to worry you will call me and tell me that you are tired of ladies. I do not want to say much till you see things for your self.

Please i expect to hear from you very urgently as soon as the money is paid in with the account informations.We have some arrest to make but i want to have some rest aswell as my boys.

Thank you

Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 21, 2005

dick Henry,

Good news - I got a call from Ms. Bushburn this morning and she said she had been to the Western Union office and sent the money. The phone connection was terrible but I'm reasonably sure that the following information is correct:

To: dick Henry Car
Address: Lagos, Nigeria
From: Maya Bushburn
Sender's Address: Gadyukina, Russia
No.: 3001007454
Test Question: My favorite fingernail polish
Answer: Rosy Future

The test question and answer were her idea. Women. Go figure.

I'll be checking my email regularly tomorrow for the application form. I guess I should start calling you 'Boss' from now on.

Lewd



Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 21 Oct 2005

Mr lewis, Now you can truely call me Boss Dic,

Meanwhile, it would have been better if you had used my cashiers name sent to you earlier knowing fully well the kind of bussy person that i am , well since you have sent it already, i will try and craet chance to go and collect it.

However, the amount paid was not stated, i do believe it was $1600.

I will go but you said that you could not hear the woman properly hope that would not creat difficulties in collecting the money.

I will inform you as soon as i collect the money , i might even give you a call.

Thanks Dic
Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 21 Oct 2005

mr lewis,

I have been at the western union since morning with my boys and was told that there was no money paid into the account given to me, please call ms bushburn to scan the account information and send it to you i want to really believe that there is a mistake somewhere, i have been trying your mbile but counld not reach you. please call me urgently on +2348033609272. am expecting your call now.

Thank you

Dic
Dictative Henry Car

Fri, 21 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis,

I have called the phone number that you sent to me all i could hear was an answering maching speaking in rushian language which i could not understand, even i tried to send a text message through the same number which was confirmed sent.

Please call ms Bushburn urgently ask her to scan the account information and send to me as am finding it much difficult to collect the money you sent due to one misinformation or the other, please i would appreciate you to hasting this up as fast as you can ever do please.

am waiting to hear from you .

Thank you

Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 22, 2005

Boss dick,

The only thing I can figure out is that either I misunderstood something Maya told me or she read something to me incorrectly. I think I told you that the connection was terrible when I talked to her yesterday.

She won't be back from Irkutsk until early Monday morning but she is is supposed to call in later today. I'll have her read everything to me again and when she gets here Monday I'll scan the information and send it to you.

I talked with my partners today and told them I was leaving the partnership. I haven't told them where I'm going yet, I just said I'd write them when I get settled. They have agreed to buy out my part of the business which is going to be a fairly large sum, but they don't want me to leave for two weeks. This is to make sure all of my work is transferred to them.

I can't tell you how excited I am, and let me say that I am truly honored to call you 'Boss dick'.

By the way, when I join your team, what will my rank be? Will I be a dick too?

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

October 22, 2005

Boss dick,

Maya (Ms. Bushburn) finally called but again we had a terrible connection. On top of this, Maya is Ukrainian and she mixes that language with English so it's hard sometimes to understand exactly what she's talking about.

If I understood her correctly this time, the last 4 digits of the control number got screwed around - the number should be 3001004745 instead of 3001007454 like she said the first time. I don't even know if the Western Union office there in Lagos is open on Sunday but you might want to wait until Monday when I can send you a copy of the paperwork.

Boss dick, I am speechless and very humbled by having the title of Deputy dick bestowed upon me and I promise that I will work very hard to earn this honor. You will find me fearless and I got your back, Boss dick, at all times.

Any captures this weekend?

>Deputy dick Lewd
(I love how that sounds!!)


Dictative Henry Car

Sat, 22 Oct 2005

Thank you Deputy,

I will confirm the new number on monday, please for more clearification i will still reguire the paper work scaned and send to me on monday. Actually, i decided to give my wife some nice times today but tomorow shall be a hot squred.

I need nobody to tell me how you will perform but let live this till that day.

I should call you one of my boys now, i there fore call Dep lewi

please i will expect the scanned paper on monday

Thanks

Boss Dic
Dictative Henry Car

Sun, 23 Oct 2005

Dep Lewi,

Please am still expecting the scan of the paper on monday morning,

We had a very hurt day today,we made an arrest somewhwere in the city,

Some idiots collected some money from Barbara, They have actually heard it hurt because i asked my boys to teach them the lessons of their livies after their arrest and they really dealth with them.They have already spent the money they collected from her on buying cars but i will put those cars for sell tomorow inorder to recorver her money.

Please am expecting your mail

Boss Dic

[The 2-minimum rule applies again: Good guys - 19, Bad guys - 1...]

Lewd Noogie

October 24, 2005

Boss dick,

You're not gonna believe this! I don't believe this! She came back without the paper! She says she thinks she left it in her boyfriend's apartment, but she's not sure. We tried calling him but the phones are down this morning.

This is another reason I'm so anxious to get out of here. All communications here at the hotel are via satellite. We have a satellite dish big enough to hear conversations from the Andromeda Galaxy but we're only allowed to use a sliver of bandwidth. The phones are unusable most of the time and the computers a lot of the time. So damn frustrating.

Listen, try the number I gave you Saturday. Chances are good that it's correct. Meanwhile, I'll try to figure some way to get ahold of that damn piece of paper.

Let me know.

Dep. dick
Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 24 Oct 2005

Mr Lewis

what i do now? i needed that paper because i dont want to go to the western union been enbarrased again but since you have said that i should go back i will but still expecting the paper.

thank you

dic
Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 24 Oct 2005

Dep Lewi,

Am highly embarrassed, you know my reputation, obvously am not surpossed to be going to the western union but for the fact that i needed things done urgently i had to take it up my self.

I was there this morning with a whole troop of my boys and was told by the general manager of the bank that nothing was there.

now tell me how this woman can pay in money for you not even been sure of where she left the copy that prooves her transaction, seconly coming back without bringing an evidence to proof to you that she true attended to your message.

Mr Lewis am not confortable with this development and untill you sort things out the way it should be by giviving me a copy of that transaction i will remain calm.

I need the latest fast

Thank you

Boss Dic
[Boss dick has been embarrased in front of his boys. Good time bring the modalities to a conclusion...]

Lewd Noogie

Lewd Noogie

Mon, 24 Oct 2005

Boss dick,

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Well, I guess it's time to bring this game to an end. Yes, that's right, I've been 'dicking' with you, Boss dick. I knew you were just another scammer from the moment I received your first letter.

I have to tell you that I've had more fun with you than I've had with any of the other mugus I've jerked around. You've been a real sport for more than two months now and I hope you enjoyed playing as much as I did.

The sad part is that I'm going to have to resign my commission with the EFCC just when I was beginning to enjoy being a dick too. I do, however, have one final task before I turn in my badge - Boss dick, you're under arrest! Step away from the computer, put your hands over your head and spread 'em! Now don't move until my backup arrives.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Book 'em, Danno.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I always wanted to say that!

Now I quit.

Fulk you.

Lewd
Dictative Henry Car

Mon, 24 Oct 2005

Mr lewis,

Thank you so much for the insults.

However, am a man reputation, i cannot alter any negetive word to you but you called me a scanner, well thank you for such recomendation and may God bless you.

Thank you

Dic



Lewd Noogie

October 25, 2005

Aw, c'mon Henry, where's that Boss dick sense of humor I've grown so fond of over these past two months? No reason for you to be insulted, after all you were trying to swendle money from me. Hell, I'm the one who should be pissed off here.

Boss dick, you really gotta get into a different line of business. Nobody believes this crap anymore (amazing that they ever did) and the only people who are gonna respond to those goofy letters are the ones who want to 'dick' (get it?) with you. I mean, the way you and that other dick named David were stumbling around, trying to nudge each other out had me laughing my ass off. You guys are too funny!

Well, gotta go. I just got a letter from Miriam Abacha and I'm gonna help her move millions to my nominated bank account in a transaction where the modalities have been perfected to make for a 100% risk-free venture. Stay in touch and let me know if you catch any more frurdstars.

Remain blessed,

ex-Dep dick Lewd

Well, I thought that went well. 19 frurdstars taken off the streets (20, if we count my arrest of the Boss dick) and brought to justice. The internet cafes of Lagos are safe for law-abiding citizens once again. While I am still somewhat remorseful about the five 'turchered' suspects and the two guys who got killed, examples had to be made. The scourge of 419 is over.

Lewd Noogie
International Hotel Consultant (and ex-EFCC dick)
Gadyukina, Russia


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