Dear Fellow Catholic,
This email may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the media with reference to His Holiness John Paul II.
I am Archbishop Paul Casimir Marcinkus, former Governor of Vatican City and head of the Vatican Bank until 1989. Before his passing I was asked by the Successor of Peter to ensure that his will lives on. The Holy Roman Pontiff had felt that the The College of Bishops would use the power vacuum created by his death to move our holy church away from its conservative tenets. I plead with you, as a good Roman Catholic, to help me maintain the righteous path that our Vicar of Christ on Earth has chosen for us.
You must have heard the media reports of the discovery of some funds that went missing in the 1982 Banco Ambrosiano affair. I was the head of the Vatican bank at the time and was actually working under the direct orders of His Holiness who was preparing for this turbulent period. The purpose was to shelter some funds from the less traditional forces at work in Vatican City. The sums reported as missing in the Ambriosiano story were widely underreported. In fact the total I was asked to protect amounted to $6.5 Billion Dollars
Currently, I have the sum of $20 million dollars with a financial firm in Europe whose name I can not disclose for now for security reasons until we open up communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any Investment opportunity.This would be the start of a fruitful relationship to help all Catholics on out planet. This arrangement will be known to you and I alone and all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone because the powerful College of Bishops has tapped all my lines and are monitoring all my moves.
In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $20,000,000 that will be kept in your position for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending release of the larger amount. Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our faith.
Upon your response, Should you accept, I shall then introduce you to my Attorney who is going to liaise with you for further explanation if the need should arise.
In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please expedite action.
NB: PLEASE REPLY ONLY THROUGH THIS ADDRESSES:
Archbishop Paul Casimir Marcinkus
We hope we needn't explain just how unlikely it is that a real archbishop would need to spam Catholics (total strangers) en masse to move money. We have no header for this e-mail - other examples are welcome. Whatever your (ir)religious beliefs, we are sure Scam-o-readers will have creative ways of responding to this appeal. Perhaps it would take someone really steeped in Catholic education to wind the impersonator up properly.