From: "Dr. Seymour Krelbourne":
I just sent "Little Shop of Scammers"... I was impressed that
"Dr. Okon" went along with such obvious nonsense for such a
long time. It was fun corresonding with him (in a scary mind-game
sort of way).
Thanks for doing a valuable public service in exposing these scammers
and for providing such wonderful entertainment while doing do.
I was impressed by the forged documents they sent. Since I am a
web developer, I know how easy it is to doctor things up, but
I'm sure that plenty of people are fooled and parted from their money.
Little Shop of Scammers, Part 1
This scam letter was sent to an address connected to my website. Inspired by the Scamorama soap operas, I decided to try my own hand at scam baiting. I transferred the message, which originally came from email@example.com, to a specially created email address. It's interesting how Floyd's sex changes throughout the letter: 4/3/03 SUBJECT: next of kin(your kind assistance needed) Dear friend, It is my profound intention to write you this very important and highly confidential letter. I am Dr. williams okon, a Director on the Board of metropolitan International bank. I earnestly seek your assistance to enable me transfer the sum of US $9,100,000.00 (nine Million, One hundred thousand United States dollars) into your account. MY PROPOSITION: Some years ago, a Foreigner, Late Mr. Floyd Maizel an Oil Merchant with the Federal Government of Nigeria, who died in plane crash a couple of years ago banked with us at metropolitan International Bank, Lagos and until her death had a closing balance worth US$9,100,000.00 (nine Million one hundred thousand United States Dollars). Due process was adhered to and the Bank served notices in the National newspapers and also through the embassies High Commission inviting the next of kin of the late Mrs. Floyd Maizel . Efforts were made by the management of metropolitan International Bank to get in touch with any of the family members or relatives of the Late Mr. Maizel but all efforts proved abortive. In accordance with the Banking Guidelines enacted in the Banks/Financial institutions Edict of 1976, Banking guidelines stipulates that in the event of death of any of its Foreign customers, notice should be filed at the oreign Home office/Embassy of the Foreigner inviting the next of kin to the deceased Foreigner. The Management of the Bank has been expecting her next of kin to come over and claim her money because the funds cannot be released unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines and laws but unfortunately we learnt from the embassies High Commission that all her supposed next of kin or relatives died alongside with the Late Mr. Floyd Maizel in the plane-crash leaving nobody behind to claim the funds in late Mr. Floyd Maizel's account with us. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased because we do not want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed bills. The banking law and guidelines in Nigeria stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after a specified period, the money will be transferred into the Bank's treasury as unclaimed funds. The request for a foreigner as next of kin to Late Mr. Floyd Maizel in this business is occasioned by the fact that the Late Mr. Floyd Maizel was a foreigner and a Nigerian cannot stand to represent as next of kin to a dead foreigner. It is in this regard that my colleagues and I now seek your permission to have you stand as next of kin to Late Mr. Floyd Maizel so that the funds US$9.1 Million will be released and paid into your account as the Account holder's next of kin. All documents to enable you get this fund will be carefully worked out. We have secured from the probate an order of mandamus to locate any of the deceased Beneficiaries. Please if you are favorably disposed towards assisting us, I will appreciate if you communicate your thoughts to me via my direct Telephone number: 234-803-3489543. On the successful pursuance of the transaction, the funds will be shared thus: (1)Your share of the money will be 27% of the total bulk sum (US$2,457,000.00). (2)I will keep 70% for myself and other members/Board of Directors of metropolitan International Bank. (3)3% will be set aside to cover any incidental expenses that may be incurred vis; telephone calls, and taxes that may accrue in your country as a result of reception of funds of that magnitude into your bank account. All logistics are in place and all modalities worked out for the smooth actualization of the transaction within eight working days of commencement after receiving the following information from you: Dedicated telephone and fax numbers, Bank Details vis: Account #, Routing number, Account name. If you are able to handle this, feel free to reach me on my telephone number: 234-803-3489543 or my alternative e-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org for a perfect understanding of the transaction. Time-frame needed for the pursuance of this transaction to a positive conclusion is presumably eight (8) days (excluding weekends). Thanks in anticipation of your positive response. Yours faithfully, Dr.william okon. ___________________________________________________________________________ What would happen if this email were received at Mushnik's Florist, better known as the Little Shop of Horrors? Our hero is Seymour Krelbourne, with Audrey as his ditzy blonde wife. And of course Twoey (the plant, Audrey II) will play a strong supporting role. Audrey's abusive former boyfriend, Oren the dentist, and store owner Mr. Mushnik are both mysteriously missing, but they will play minor roles in absentia. In the original email, Dr. Okon provided a new email address for responses, so that is where Seymour sends his response: 4/3/03 SUBJECT: Re: next of kin(your kind assistance needed) Dear Dr. Okon: I am most interested in your proposal. However, I would like to know how you received my private email address. I don't know how much you know about me, but I am a fellow doctor. My name is Dr. Seymour Krelbourne, and I minister to the physical and spiritual well-being of my clients' indoor foliage. Most people do not realize that all green and growing things have souls and needs like all the rest of God's creatures. At my former place of business, in Chicago, Illinois, people did not realize that and I suffered a bankruptcy. However, I have moved to Los Angeles, California, where people are more open and in tune with the unseen aspects of life and the professionals that cater to the murkier sciences like feng shui, pet psychics, and of course plant physicians. But perhaps you know this already. Perhaps it was my skill in artful marketing that led you to me. Please let me know how you came to make contact and we can work out the specifics of your kind proposal. Dr. Seymour Krelbourne ____________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon responds promptly: 4/3/03 SUBJECT: Thank you for your understanding. DEAR, DR.Seymour Krelbourne" I thank you so much for your kind understanding to support me and full acceptance to help in this benefiting business. However, i must commend your humaniterianism and ask you to keep it up. As a fellow doctor,though we very in specialization or field of practice, but i think what matters much is our ability to continue our in life. Without wasting time, pls permit me to say that i came across your contact in my search to get a good and trusted fellow learned person like you, who i can diligently do this bussiness with because i needed somebody to trust. May assure that in as much as you will coperate with me in all to the end, i am assuring you will really be rewarded. In the light of time,pls for now ,kindly send to me your private telephone and fa number, and preferably a copy of your picture ,this will make us communicate and identify ourselves well. i will send mine to you as soon as i get yours. In conclusion, note that my attorney will handle all due legal documentations and arrangements to help you hold cliams to the money as next of kin to late mr. floyd maizel. thank you as i look forward to hear from you immediately, call me if need arises:234-803-3489543 regards, Dr.william okon. _____________________________________________________________________________ Seymour provides the requested information. For Mushnik's, the phone number of a randomly-chosen LA flower shop with a name that begins with an “M” should do nicely. And Seymour looks suspiciously like Rick Moranis, thanks to a photo gleaned from Google's image search. 4/03 SUBJECT: Re: Thank you for your understanding. Dear Dr. Okon: I am very pleased that you have contacted me, although I must admit that I am curious as to who passed along my name. I would like to ensure that it is a trusted person. Was it one of my business contacts in Los Angeles? In a matter of this importance, I want to be sure that all parties involved are trustworthy. Will the contact person be expecting a percentage of the money also? In order to maintain the greatest possible confidentiality for this transaction, and to ensure that everything is documented in writing, I prefer to conduct it via email. But I understand that emergencies may arise, so I am providing the telephone number of my business, Mushnik's Florist: (562) 425-4511. My wife Audrey and I received the business in a hostile takeover from our former partner, who did not agree with our business practices. Audrey runs the floral business, and I take the calls for my botanical medical services via the store. If it is necessary to call, please ensure that you speak only to me personally, and not to my business associate Twoey, as he cannot be trusted with a transaction of this magnitude. I am attaching a photo of myself that is from the Los Angeles Area Professional Directory. I am eagerly awaiting your promised photo. I am looking forward to working out the details of our transaction. Respectfully, Dr. Seymour ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon is ready to crank things up a notch. That same day, he sends a photo showing his impeccable fashion taste. He's wearing a striped shirt combined with the world's ugliest dotted tie. Poor dead Floyd has now become Flyod. 4/3/03 SUBJECT: COPY OF MY OLD PICTURES MY DEAR FRIEND DR. SEYMOUR, I AM MOST GRATEFUL TO YOUR HIGH LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING AND MATURITY SO THAT YOU HAVE EXHIBITED SO FAR. LIKE I TOLD I HAVE TAKEN NOTE OF YOUR PICTURE AND YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER THOUGH IT WAS NOT PRIVATE TO YOU OR YOUR WIFE. HOWEVER, WE CAN STILL FOLLOW YOUR ADVICE WHENEVER IT IS IMPORTANT TO CALL YOU. MY DEAR SEYMOUR, PLEASE RELAX YOUR MIND AND STOP BEING CURIOUS AS WE HAVE COME TO KNOW EACH OTHER AND IF I DID NOT HAVE TRUST ON YOUR PERSON I WOULD NOT HAVE INTRODUCED THIS BUSINESS THAT NEEDS CONFIDENTIOLITY TO YOU. ABOUT, IF ANYOTHER THIRD PARTY IS TAKEN PERCENTAGE, I DID LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT THE MONEY WILL BE SHARED BETWEEN TWO OF US AS THE PRINCIPAL PARTNERS. I AM ATTACHING A COPY OF MY PICTURE AS EVIDENCE OF MY IDENTITY TO YOU. PLEASE, EARLIER I DID SAID WE HAVE LIMITED TIME TO CLAIM OUT THIS MONEY FROM THE BANK , SO SINCE I HAVE GOTTEN YOUR ASSURANCE, COPY OF PICTURE TO PROOF MY MORE TRUST FOR YOU, I AM GOING TO GIVE MY ATTORNEY INSTRUCTIONS TO CONTACT YOU ON MY BEHALF AND SEND TO YOU THE LEGAL COPIES OF THE PAPERS BACKING OUR CLAIMS ESPECIALLY TO HELP YOU LEGAL APPLY TO THE BANK AS NEXT OF KIN TO LATE MR. FLYOD MAIZEL, SO THAT THE CAN APPROVE THE MONEY OFFICIALLY FOR RELEASE. FINALLY, ONCE AGAIN, I THANK YOU FOR COPERATING WITH ME AND I ASSURE YOU THAT AS FAR AS YOU KEEP THE TRUST I HAVE FOR AND MAINTAIN THE CONFIDENTIALITY, I AM GOING TO REWARD YOU AT THE END WHEN THE MONEY GETS TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN USA. PLEASE GREET YOUR WIFE AUDRY FOR ME, THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU, PLEASE FEEL FREEL TO CALL ME IF NEED ARISES, REGARDS, DR. WILLIAM OKON. – ____________________________________________________________________________ If you are familiar with the movie “Little Shop of Horrors” (the remake, not the original), you will recognize some song lyrics in Seymour's response. 4/4/03 SUBJECT: COPY OF MY OLD PICTURES My good Dr. Okon, Seeing your photo has helped to set my mind at ease, and I am reassured that the money will be kept between us. I am very excited about our business deal, as the additional infusion of funds will allow Audrey and I to achieve our dream of expanding and franchising Mushnik's Florist and my botanical medical practice. I am also planning to make a substantial contribution to the work study program of the Skid Row Home for Boys, which is the facility where I grew up until Mr. Mushnik took me in and introduced me to the floral business. He have me shelter, a bed, crust of bed, and a job, and for that I will be eternally grateful. These funds will enable me to give other youngsters the same chance. I trust that I should now await contact from your attorney. I have an excellent attorney here if you feel that legal representation would be helpful stateside. He barters me legal services for treatment of his wife's rhododendrons, so there would not be any additional expenses. Your friend and partner, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon responds: 4/4/03 SUBJECT: PLS CALL ATTORNEY... MY DEAR FRIEND, I GOT YOUR MAIL TODAY AND I MUST SAY I COMMEND YOUR IDEA OF INVESTMENT. HOWEVER I HAVE MY ATTORNEY TO CALL YOU TODAY, BUT UNFORTUNATELY HE CALLED AND SOMEBODY TOLD HIM WRONG NUMBER, PLS RE CONFIRM YOUR NUMBER TO AVOID SUCH MISTAKES. AGAIN, I BELIEVE HE HAS GOTTEN THE LEGAL GO AHEAD TO PREPARE THE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME TO ENABLE YOU STAND AS NEXT OF KIN TO LATE MR. FLYOD MAIZEL, SO THAT WE CAN EASILY CLAIM THE MONEY OUT FROM THE BANK AND GET IT TRANSFERED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FOR DISBURSEMENT. THIS MEANS , BY THE GRACE OF GOD HE WILL SEND IT TO YOU BY MONDAY, BUT I WILL ADIVE THAT YOU CALL HIM PLS TO IRON THINGS OUT WITH HIM BECAUSE HE IS PROTECT YOUR INTEREST AND MINE TOO AS BOTH PARTNERS TO THIS TRANSACTION. HIS TELEPHONE NUMBER IS 234-1-7755335, HIS NAME IS BARRISTER JAMES PHILLIPS. IT VERY IMPORTANT SO THAT HE CAN FIND OUT FROM YOU THE REAL NAME TO YOUR SELF FOR PREPARING THE PAPERS AND YOUR BANKING INFORMATIONS WHICH WILL BE FORWARDED TO THE BANK FOR NECESSARY ACTION. I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND HIM GOOD AS HE IS AN INTERNATIONAL LAWYER WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU ON MY ADVICE ABOVE AND GREET YOUR WIFE FOR ME, PLS REMEMBER NOT TO INVOLVE ANOTHER PARTY IN THIS TRANSACTION AND KEEP THE CONFIDENTIALITY. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU, REAGRDS, WILLIAM OKON (DR). _________________________________________________________________________ More song lyrics are slipped into Seymour's next response: 4/5/03 SUBJECT: PLS CALL ATTORNEY... My dearest and most kind Dr. Okon, I am filled with great sadness that I missed your attorney's call. Did he call the floral shop, and do you know if he spoke with Twoey? I was out on house calls, but Audrey and Twoey should both have been there, depending on what time the lawyer called. But Twoey is totally unaware of our transaction, as he is not to be trusted. Even though he helped us with the hostile takeover bid from Mr. Mushnik, his methods are questionable. Audrey knows that I am involved in a lucrative foreign investment deal, but I felt it best to conceal the sordid details from my delicate little flower. Would it perhaps be helpful if I send to you or to the lawyer my cell phone number? We live in the basement of the shop, so we do not bother with a separate land line telephone. But I still have my cell phone from my former business days in Chicago. I am not sure if I can make international calls from it, so I will check that out. Meanwhile, please feel free to pass my email address to the attorney you've recommended, Mr. Phillips. If he comes highly recommended by an outstanding individual such as yourself, I am fully confident that he can handle this matter in an expedient and trustworthy manner. Also, if possible, please send his email address to me, and let me know if you need my cell phone number. Meanwhile, do you think I should use my existing bank account, or would it be more prudent to open a new account with you and I as the joint account holders? I will do whatever is necessary to expedite matters. Audrey and I are planning to move from the basement to a house somewhere that's green. All we want is a matchbox of our own and a fence of real chain link. We need to move away from here because Audry's former boyfriend, Oren, was very abusive. Thankfully, he dissapeared some time ago, but we constantly fear that he could come after her at any time. Your business deal will give us the means to move to a place where he cannot find us. __________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon is getting cranky and impatient: 4/7/03 SUBJECT: Respond Immediately my dear friend, today i have recieved your mail and honestly i must say that my attorney would have finished everything about the documentations before now. but, i still think you should send to him immediately your moblie telephone number, a working fax number and your banking informations today, so that by tommorrow , he will forward all the papers to you. then, as soon as you get it, pls write an application letter to the bank officially for the approval and release of the money into your bank account as the next of kin to late mr. maizel flyod. then, after that the bank will give you further instructions to how and when the will transfer the money and what we will need to provide if any . pls try to keep this confidential as not all will be happ to see us getting this money and sharing it only between us. finally, pls i would still advice you call my attorney, his telephone number is :234-1-7755337. or his email address: email@example.com he will be waiting to hear from you , regards, DR. WILLIAM OKON. _____________________________________________________________________________ Seymour points out that he hasn't heard from the lawyer but throws in a randomly chosen L.A. bank. For an account number, he borrows some digits from the old tune 867-5309 Jenny. For his cell, the number of a defunct business will do nicely. As ELO would say in “Calling America,” “the phone it just rings on and on.” 4/7/03 SUBJECT: Re: Respond Immediately My dearest friend Dr. Okon: I have received no correspondence from the lawyer, so there is no way he could have finished the correspondence. He seems to be moving slowly in this matter. Did you give my email address to him? If so, rest assured that he did not contact me, and I hope he has not told you different. I am sending him a copy of this message by cc:, and I hope this will spur him into action. Otherwise, remember that I do have a good attorney who can handle this matter promptly and discretely for us. Here my bank account information: Silicon Valley Bank 10585 Santa Monica Boulevard, Suite 140 Los Angeles, CA 90025 310.475.4811 Business Checking Account #: 8675309 Account is in the names Dr. Seymour Krelbourne, Audrey Krelbourne, and Mushnik's Floral. My mobile phone # is: (708) 403-4353 This phone is from our old Chicago business but I still carry and use it for personal use, as the contract runs through May. I do have one concern. What nationality was Mr. Maizel? It may be difficult to pass me off as someone of his nationality, depending on his country of origin. Twoey, my business partner, happens to be an alien who does not look at all American, so if necessary we can involve him and I can give him a share of my funds. But he is not always trustworthy, so that would be a last resort. Can the papers be sent via email scan rather than fax? Unless we decide to involve Twoey, I am leery of receiving a fax at the store and opening the possibility that he or Audrey would find it. I'm awaiting word from the lawyer. Yours, Dr. S _____________________________________________________________________________ Oh no, the lawyer's email is non-functional! 4/7/03 SUBJECT: Failure Delivery Message from yahoo.com. Unable to deliver message to the following address(es). firstname.lastname@example.org: 22.214.171.124 does not like recipient. Remote host said: 550 email@example.com: inactive user Giving up on 126.96.36.199. ___________________________________________________________________________ Let's have Seymour panic a bit: 4/7/03 SUBJECT: Urgent: Our Lawyer's Email is Inactive Dr. Okon, we have a problem. I sent our lawyer a copy of the email that I sent you this morning, and it was returned to me saying that his account is inactive. Is there some sort of problem? I must confess that I was a bit worried that our business dealing of having me claim to be an heir could be of questionable legality, and I certainly don't want to cause trouble at your bank. The attorney did not contact me, so that compounded my fears. Now I am concerned that perhaps our attorney has been handling questionable transactions and has run afoul of your bank and perhaps of the law. I was relying on your assurances that he is an upstanding lawyer, but this returned email has me worried. Have you heard from him? Do you know if he is in trouble? Should we abort this business deal? Please advise as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon is quick to sent reassurance: 4/7/03 SUBJECT: dont be worried my good friend... my dear trusted friend, pls i just got your two emails to me today and i thank you for your fast response. i want you to stop being afriad as i we a like brothers and there is nothing to worry about. all is well is just that my attorney said that the email i gave to you is having problems for time now, i did not know that, but he assured getting in touch with you tomorrow after all he has called you twice before and could not get you so why blaming him or trying to be afraid. About invloving another person ,pls i dont support that idea at all , how can you bring in somebody that is not trusted and you we are talking of money issue, he might decid to e to elimintate us at the end and run away with the money pls dont ry to involve him instead i will instruct my attorney to send the documents to you through email as attachment. finally, my good friend, mr. maizel is from usa and i think you need not to worry at all about what and how the bank will be handled about your claims as the next of kin, so that we can get the money claimed for ourselves. I have told you all you need to do is follow the advice our our legal attorney who will give us every legal backings and papers even protections until the end. Just be a good and trusted friend i take you to be and dont try to betray the trust i have for you. all is going to work out, pls stop being afraid or worried , there is not going to be any problems at all . i am an insider in the bank to cover every claims, our qaulified attorney of international repute is there to protect us, so just be good and coperative all is working , just in a few days now we will be smiling home with the money. pls greet audry your wife for me, by morning hours attorney will call you on your moblie phone. and if there is anthing he needs to talk with you as a partner he will do so. but, pls this is his alternative email: firstname.lastname@example.org, telephone number:234-1-7755337 pls write or call him now so that he will get to it first thing tommorrow morning. take care my good friend and do not be worried any more. regards, Dr. william okon. ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour explains his paranoia: 4/7/03 SUBJECT: RE: dont be worried my good friend... My friendly & beloved friend Doc Okon, Thank you for sending your reassurances. I tend to be on the paranoid side, as I have had some legal problems connected to the disappearance of my business partner Mr. Mushnik and also with Audrey's former boyfriend, Oren. Twoey took care of those matters and ensured that the evidence was fully consumed, but there were some inquiries that came uncomfortably close to home. I'm sure you can understand how that would make me a bit jumpy. But I managed to drag myself out of that deep fertilizer, and now I have mired myself firmly into the compost of our current business deal. I am anxiously awaiting its completion and the untold riches that will transform our lives. I tried to phone our attorney but was unable to get through. I don't know if there is an issue with international calling on my cell phone. But if I cannot reach him by this evening, I hope that he will please send the necessary documents via an attachment so I can fill them out posthaste. My botanical doctoring business has been good to me, so I am not a poor man, but I'm sure you will agree that one can never have too much money. My share of our bodacious windfall will bring me success even beyond my amazing botanical conquests. I am sending a copy of this message to our good Mr. Phillips to ensure that his alternate address is in good working order. Yours anxiously, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ And now, a word from our lawyer: 4/8/03 SUBJECT: Thanks for your mail Attn: Dr. Seymour Krelbourne Thank you for your mail, I have tried to call you several times but a lady normally tells me that it is a wrong number. I just came back from the Federal High Court where I have procured some vital documents regarding to this transaction, I would try to scan and send it to you before the close of work today. I want you to know that this transaction is going to cost us some money and time and I want you to also to bear it in mind that communication or information is vital so from time to time, you need to call me as your lawyer. I hope to have a fruitful working relationship with you. In order for us to achieve success, I need your maximum cooperation. This is my private number 234-1-7755337 Waiting for your response. Regards Barrister James Phillips ___________________________________________________________________________ Who is the phantom woman answering a defunct phone number? Maybe it's that ditzy Audrey. 4/8/03 SUBJECT: RE: Thanks for your mail My dear kind sir Mr. Phillips, It is good to hear from you! When the email address originally given to me by my illustrious partner Dr. Okon was inactive, I feared that bad times might have befallen you. But I am pleased to see that we are on track towards completing this most lucrative business deal. I must say that I am a bit concerned at your difficulty in reaching me by phone. Did the lady say her name was Audrey? My lovely wife is not fully informed as to the extent of his deal. She is a sweet woman but she is the poster child for dumb blondes. Her former boyfriend Oren used to slap her around quite a bit, and she fell off his motorcycle several times, so perhaps there is some residual brain damage. But Oren was also a dentist, so at least she has the most lovely mouth of teeth that you ever laid eyes on, as he would replace any that he knocked out with a top-quality cap. I am most anxious to receive the documents, as it sounds as though we are well on the way to a pleasingly fattened bank account. Although I have not discussed your retainer fee with my partner, the good Dr. Okon, my assumption is that you are working on a contingency basis, with liability for the fee divided between us based on our respective percentages of the windfall. I am sending him a copy of this correspondence so he can correct me if I am mistaken, but I would imagine that's a standard practice in your country as it is in the U.S. Speaking of the legal fees, when you forward the documents, could you please send an itemized list of the expected expenses? This will be most helpful in my budgeting. Very sincerely yours, Dr. Seymour Krelbourne ___________________________________________________________________________ Interestingly, our illustrious lawyer's email address has changed again, this time to a Yahoo account. Oh well, at least he sent some cool looking document forgery scan attachments (a death certificate and a bank account statement). 4/8/03 SUBJECT: Documents Attn: Dr. Seymour Krelbourne I just got your mail and I want to know if you are really serious about helping Mr. Okon. The documents from the court we could not get today as there was a fee that I had to pay and could not raise it today but would go back for it tomoroow. I have included the statement of account and death certificate for your perusal. I tried the phone number again and it rang with no one picking it up. I hope to hear from you. Regards Barrister James Phillips ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour responds to the lawyer: 4/8/03 SUBJECT: RE: Documents Dear Mr. Phillips: Thank you so much for sending the documents. Seeing the actual information and documentation of this deal has given rise to massive excitement. I have been out on calls today dealing with some serious emergencies at a local greenhouse. Their temperature gauge went fritzo, putting my poor patients into shock and heat stroke. I was very busy performing first aids and did not have my cell phone. I am of course most interested in moving forward with this business. I am at your disposal in this matter. Just let me know what you need. I sent my bank account information to our compatriot Dr. Okon so I am zealously awaiting the transfer and will do whatever is needed to expedite it. I see that this has come from a new email address. Is this the address I should use in the future, and have you passed it along to Dr. Okon? It must be difficult to notify your clients with the frequent changes. Yours, Dr. Krelbourne. ___________________________________________________________________________
Little Shop of Scammers, Part 2
___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon checks in: 4/8/03 SUBJECT: did you get the papers... my dear friend, how are you today, i hope all is well with you. i have been told by the attorney that he sent out to you the papers today. did you get them?. pls if you do, i advice that you should forward immediately an application letter to the bank officially and make sure you copy it to me for my record purposes. As fast as you can do this, the bank management will give direct there director of international remiittance to handle the processing of our payment especially to you as next of kin to late mr. flyod maizel. of usa. After that they will issue to you a text application form in which you will fill in and return to it to them for onward and final processing of your release approved money. Until then, like they attorney said, we need to conclude how much we pay him now to retain him in our services. Becuase i only payed him just consultation fee to help us get the papers for you. You know attorney,s, he is now complaining that we come up with paying him for his proffessional charges to enable him discharge his assignment well and go get other legal back ups. So my dear friend, i will most appreciate your understanding of this vital issue of settling the attorney to give us the best. i therefore look forward to hear from you, how we can agree between us as partners to settle the attorney,s proffessional fee. please greet audrey for me. your mobile number is giving problems to reach you, each time the attorney tries it will be ringing nobody to pick it why?. please do something to give me or the attorney a good working number where we can always get it you without problems. finally, i think you can also call the attoney since he can not reach you, or myself as you have our numbers. thank you and god bless you, your good friend, william okon. ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour notices a website address on the “bank statement” scan, which inspires him to poke around on the internet: 4/8/03 SUBJECT: Yes, I got the papers My dearest friend and fellow partner in riches, Indeed I received the papers and am awash in a wave of excitement at our pending financial windfall. Seeing the bank statement has led me to even greater anticipation of the money that will soon be coming our way. When you have tried to call me, does the phone ring or does it not connect or give you a recording? I will check with my company to ensure that I can receive international calls. I don't know how it is in your country, but over here cell phone services sucks the big horse dong. Please forgive me for my frank and explicit language, but as you can tell, I have suffered for years with the travails of spotty cell phone service. I will be most displeased if their incompetence costs me such a lucrative deal. I will contact them as soon as I send this email to rip them a new one. Meanwhile, I am anxious to submit the letter to the bank. I was going to send it via their website, but the URL listed on the bank statement (www.metropolitanbanklimited.com) says that it is under construction. Is that the correct URL? Or should I simply send the letter through postal mail? The address is 24 kiowu Taylor Street, Victoria Street, Lagos, Nigeria, correct? Should I send it certified, and is there any postal code? Or perhaps would Federal Express be best to expedite this important matter? I hope you have assured Mr. Phillips that he will be well compensated for his assistance in this matter. I asked that he itemize his fee, which I assume that we will share in the same percentage that we are splitting the money. And perhaps if he does well for us, we should throw in a bit extra as a special reward. After all, we will certainly be able to afford it. Please let me know the best method to submit my claim to the bank so we can rush forward willy nilly into the world of fabulous wealth. Perhaps you can come and visit Audrey and I here in beautiful California if you should ever wish to travel abroad. If you should choose to settle here, a botanical doctor such as myself could most likely use a man with similar talents and trustworthiness in his business. Yours in prosperity, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon blows off the non-existent website: 4/8/03 SUBJECT: respond urgently my dear good firend, pls i got your mail and i am most excited to have you as a partner in progress. well, the best to send your letter of cliams to the bank is through there fax number , i believe it is there, so do that immediately to enhance our timely process of getting of the money fast. again, about the attorney,s professional fee, i think you write him to find out how much it is or empower me to do so, perhaps we share between ourselves to pay him up after all he is doing a good job for us protecting our interest and other legal back ups. i await your kind and speedy response to help us roll to the concluding end of this transaction and smile home with our money. thank you and god bless you , regards, william. okon (Dr.). – ___________________________________________________________________________ The lawyer weighs in (cool phony court document is attached, declaring Seymour as the next of kin of the unfortunate Flyod). 4/9/03 SUBJECT: Re: Documents Attn: Dr. Seymour Krelbourne With regards to your reply, I have gotten the necessary documents from the Federal High Court, please go through them in order for us to proceed. As I said, do call me as soon as you have gone through them, my number is 234-1-7755337. Regards James Phillips ___________________________________________________________________________ If you've seen “Little Shop of Horrors,” you know that Seymour is a bumbler. Let's have him throw a monkey wrench into the plans by doing a bit of research into the bank. 4/9/03 SUBJECT: Re: Respond Urgently Good morning! I prefer to send the claim form electronically, as it will arouse Twoey's suspicions if he sees faxes to foreign phone numbers on the shop's phone bill. Since the bank's website was not working, I did an internet search and found information and an alternate website address. I am confident it is the same bank, as the address is the same as the account statement. I phoned them and explained the situation (not using any names, of course), asking for the proper procedure and whether I could submit the form electronically and where I could access it. But the person I spoke with was very rude. I did not understand everything they said, but they called me a "dumb American" and said I was getting involved in things I should not. They would not give me any information on the proper procedures, so I'm afraid it was a wasted phone call. Should I be worried about this? I don't want to get you in trouble at your bank. I hope that all of your countrymen are not so rude or anti-American! I will ask Mr. Phillips about his fees again. I asked him for an itemization in an earlier email, but he did not respond to that specific query. And you did not respond to my proposal that we split his fees at the same percentages that we are splitting our newfound wealth, perhaps with a bit of a bonus fee for him for doing such a good job. I will be writing to him this morning as well. Your partner, Dr. S. ___________________________________________________________________________ Also from Seymour (this time to the lawyer): 4/9/03 SUBJECT: Re: Documents My dear Mr. Phillips, I must say that I am most impressed by your hard work and the excellent progress you have made on this important matter. I have viewed the document and am ready to proceed. Just let me know what to do. Also, I previously requested an itemization of the probable costs involved. Please forward that to myself and/or Dr. Okon so we can be prepared to compensate you for your excellent work. I would prefer that you send instructions via email. I called the bank and was treated very rudely. I cannot risk another international phone call from my store, as my partner Twoey will become suspicious if he sees it on the phone bill. I'm not even sure how I will explain the call I just made, and it accomplished nothing but verbal abuse and being called a dumb American. I am trying to get international dialing enabled on my cell phone, but knowing their lousy customer service, that will take a while. I eagerly await your instructions. Yours, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon is NOT pleased that our hero Seymour has been snooping around. He adds some phony details to the story of Seymour's phony phone call: 4/9/03 SUBJECT: Pls you must be careful with your attitude my dear good friend, please it is important that i make this clear to you before you spoil the whole business or put me into trouble in our bank. please i adviced you to send the letter of claims through fax and you went on your own to make a call without my advice and knowledge. please you must not make such steps any longer, because the bank secectary who answered your call reported such unknown persons call from usa, fortunately the report came to my office, so i had to cover it up otherwise the bank management will start suspecting our claims, so please dont make steps outside my knowledge and advice. again, since you think it will be conducive for you to send the letter through electronic because of troewy, no problems,but address it officially to the director of claims, metropolitan bank ltd, lagos nigeria. please be warned not to use any other website you said you discovered from search please. my friend stop doing any further search that will jeopardize this business, you may expose us to dangers by your search, you may put me into trouble. the bank official website is under construction and the bank has no other website, please be careful with that you said look like the bank own. i wor with the bank i will give you all inside informations you need for the bank, so always inform me before you do in thing on this issue or have you forgetting the confidentiality involved. For you information, this is the official telephone number of the bank:234-803-3012617 and fax number:234-1-7599424. you can only call them when you have submitted your letter of claims , it only then that the bank can indentify you and entertain your calls as somebody the have business with. About barrister james phillips charges, though i have not seen him for some days because i told him not to show up in our bank so that he wont raise suspicion in the bank over this . but i discussed with him over the telephone and he conviently informed me that his balance of fee is $1,300 (one thousand three hundred dollar) and that he will be looking forward for us to pay him this to enable him complete his legal arrangement on this business. I assured him that i and you as partners are working it out to make sure we come up with his payment possibly before the week runs off. So, i think based on how we share the windfall, i will make my own share of his money available immediately, so please i think as a learned fellow, you can easily know what is expected of your share. please do make immediate available your own money so that we can send it to him for his payment to help him complete his work, otherwise he may be delaying us. Finally, please make sure you stop calling that number so that you wont spoil our windfall. only send the letter through electronic as i have directed you above. And you have my number why did you not call first before calling that implicating number. please stop any further calls or search that you think could be like that of the bank. you must enquire from me first before doing anything as far as this business is concern. expecting to hear from you soonest. thank you and god bless you, regards, william okon (Dr). ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour is contrite, but can't help throwing in a few more details. The bank appears to be real, although its information bears no relation to that which Dr. Okon has provided. The name of the bank officer is real, gleaned through a web search. There's a song lyric reference in this email too. 4/9/03 SUBJECT: Re: Pls you must be careful with your attitude My illustrious and esteemed Dr. Okon, I am so pleased that the report of my call landed in your office. Although I did not mention any names, I was shocked and appalled at the attitudes and the ridicule to which I was subjected during my call. I can just imagine the horror that would befall you if our deal were discovered. In my internet search, I found a photo of a Mr. Muyiwa Bakare, who apparently is your Managing Director and Chief Executive, and he looks like a most shady character. Is he your boss? Is he as cruel as he looks? My heart goes out to you for being forced to work in such a cut-throat environment, but once our deal completes, I am sure it will free you to a life of leisure. Remember, the offer in my previous email still stands. I can always use a man of your knowledge and integrity to work in my business if you should ever consider relocating to California. Be assured that in the future I shall adhere to your instructions. My ill fated conversation with the bank showed me that you are protecting me and that I should rely on your expertise. Sometimes I can be a bit of a bumbler (Mr. Mushnik used to be fond of calling me a slob), but I have faith that the meek shall inherit, and in this case it is certainly literally true! Regarding the fees for Mr. Phillips, $1300 sounds exceptionally reasonable for the valuable services he is performing. Please take whatever is necessary from my share of the funds to ensure that this matter continues to move smoothly. To what email address shall I send my letter of claim? Or shall I send it to you so you can forward it on? The website contained an address for Mr. Bakare, but I certainly don't want to send it to him! Please let me know and I will send it posthaste. Your sincere and woodily excited partner, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour has been playing dumb about the subtle hints that money is needed. Now Dr. Okon gets more explicit: 4/9/03 SUBJECT: money cannot be spend now..... my dear friend, thank you for your kind understanding about the whole thing i explained to you, please dont make any further contact with any person or institution that i do not recommend to you. please, still use this email address as it is the official bank email address, but address your letter to the director claims department, mr. egobia duke. About the attorney,s fee, please i want you to know that there is no way i can lay my handes on the money now until it is transfered to your account , it is only then that we can begin to spend money from from it. For now all expenses will come from our purse. So i think you should understand this better. The money is still in the bank vault and yet our own until you aplly and it gets approved and transfered into your account as cash. Please there is no way paying the attorney now can come from the money, i there beg you to look for money and send to him as your own share of his charges, while i also send out mine to him too to make it up. So please work out your own percentage and make sure you send it out to him, to enable him discharge his legal duties unless you would want him to delay our transactions, because evry arrangement is being carried out by him since i dont want the bank management to no my involvement to also give you a good cover up and i am sure he is doing it well. I therefore believe you will hasten up this week to send to him your own part of his fees, i will also give him mine own too. Finally do be fast to also send the letter to the bank as i have instructed you above. thank you and greet audley for me, regards, william okon (Dr). ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour plays a willing victim: 4/9/03 SUBJECT: money cannot be spend now..... Hello again dearest Dr. Okon, At the end of this email, I am attaching my claim letter. Please let me know if it is sufficient. As for Mr. Phillips's fee, I have calculated that 27 pecent of $1300 would be $351. Do you know if a certified check would be acceptable? Would it be best to send it via Federal Express? I would be leery of sending it via postal mail because I would want to be able to track it. $351 may sound like a small sum compared to the millions that will soon be ours, but I want to ensure that it makes its way safely. Do you have his address, or should I contact him directly about the arrangements? The joy is tingling from my head down to my tippie toes at the thought of the imminent conclusion of this deal. I have not given Audrey any details, but she does know that soon we will be filthy stinking rich thanks to a lucrative foreign deal. I have convinced her that I will be the exclusive distributor of a weird and exotic new plant variety that will sell like hotcakes. I have assured her that all of the "Beautiful People" here in Los Angeles will have to have one and will be willing to pay thousands to be one of the first. That way, she won't be suspicious when we're suddenly sleeping on a pile of cash. I have passed your kind greetings along to her (I convinced her that you are the scientist who invented the new plant through a combination of gene splicing and prudently applied radiation). Here is the claim letter: April 9, 2003 To: Mr. Egobia Duke, Director of Claims Please be advised that I wish to claim the assets of my late relative, Mr. Floyd Maizel. I am his only living relative and, as such, have full rights to claim any assets and property in his name. I have retained Mr. James Phillips as my attorney to represent me in this matter, and he is in possession of the necessary documents (account information, death certificate, etc.) Please cooperate with him in the transfer of Mr. Maizel's funds. The funds can be transferred to the following account: Silicon Valley Bank 10585 Santa Monica Boulevard, Suite 140 Los Angeles, CA 90025 310.475.4811 Business Checking Account #: 8675309 Account is in the names Dr. Seymour Krelbourne, Audrey Krelbourne, and Mushnik's Floral. If you need any further information, please feel free to contact me or to call Mr. Phillips at 234-1-7755337. Very sincerely yours, Dr. Seymour Krelbourne Botanical Physician ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon senses that the fish is taking the bait: 04/9/03 SUBJECT: please try to send out mr. phillips money. my dear friend, thank you for your immense response , honestly i am very much happy to associate with such a nice man like. i believe in the nearest future, we will be living as millionires in your country , but please still remember the trust i have for you as soon as the money gets into your bank account. With your good advice we shall be into any good business that will fetch us good returns as investment we the money gets to your bank account. For now, i think mr. phillips has a way of recieving money wich he informed me is reliable and convinient for him. Ever since his legal backing in this business he has been busy as such suggest that we use western union money transfer to send out your own share of this fee to him through his chambers secectary for privacy and security. This is the informations he gave me you should use to send out the money below: obinna leonard anonye lagos, nigeria. test question: who is obinna answer: secectary. Please look for any western union money transfer agent nearest you and send out the money through them .but remember you must not disclose this business to anybody. As soon as you send it out please make sure you email to him the control number and other informations to inable him get the money here and also copy the mail to me to help me update my records. I have recieved the letter of claims and it is very good, i shall direct it to the appropriate director for necessary actions , possibly before the week runs off the will give you further reply, but that has to be neceassary if we you can send out mr. phillips money to him immediately because the will demand him to come and sign some papers on your behalf and i know unless he is payed he cannot do that on further credit, so please we must be fast to send out his money to him immediately. i am very optimistic that in a very few days we shall be smiling home with this windfall. i look forward to hear from you soonsest and please give me your working and functional telephone number because at this stage the bank might require to speak with for confirmations. thank you my good friend, regards, william okon (Dr). ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour dutifully plays along: 04/10/03 SUBJECT: RE: please try to send out mr. phillips money. My bestest friend Dr. Okon, Thank you for sending the payment information. I will take care of the transfer this morning. It is probably best that the bank not contact me at the store, as I will be out most of the day and Twoey will be there. With our transaction so close to completion, we don't want to get him involved. I will visit the cell phone company this morning to ensure that I can receive international calls. I must run now, as I need to locate a Western Union office. I will send the information as soon as I send the cash. Expectantly yours, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Let's rattle Dr. Okon's cage a bit and pretend that Western Union is catching on to the scammers: 04/10/03 SUBJECT: Western Union Problem!!! Dr. Okon, I am most distressed. There is a big problem with Western Union! I went to the office of Popular Cash Express at 334 S. Broadway here in Los Angeles. When I told them I was making a transfer to Lagos, Nigeria, they refused to handle the transaction. They said that Western Union has received numerous complaints from people sending money to Lagos who have fallen prey to scams. I tried to explain that this was an important and legitimate business deal, being conducted with professionals who are trustworthy and beyond reproach. When the clerk would not handle this, I demanded to see the manager, but he refused as well. The manager told me I should speak with the FBI or the Secret Service to confirm the validity of our deal. For obvious reasons, I do not want to involve these agencies. I do not want to be liable for income tax, and of course I imagine it's a grey area to be claiming these funds, so it's best kept between you, me, and our attorney. In order to expedite this matter and ensure that Mr. Phillips gets his funds, I think a certified check might be a better option. I do not have to tell the bank where it is being sent, as it is none of their business. Please advise me if this is feasible or if you can suggest any alternatives. Sending via Federal Express would hasten receipt of the funds. Yours worryingly, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ The lawyer checks in: 4/10/03 SUBJECT: RE: Thanks for your mail. Attn: Dr. Seymour Krelbourne I would advice you send the money through western union money transfer as the means of sending it through post is not guaranteed and might be lost in transits or out rightly stolen. Let me know as soon as you have don so. Regards James Phillips ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour warns the lawyer about the problem: 4/10/03 SUBJECT: RE: Thanks for your mail. My good Mr. Phillips, I tried to send the money via Western Union this morning, and there was a big problem! Below is a copy of the message I sent to Dr. Okon, which explains the situation: (Copy of last email to Dr. Okon was inserted here) ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon is full of reassurances, as well as an alternate plan: 4/10/03 SUBJECT: RE: Western Union Problem!!! my dear friend, please i got your mail and infact i am most disturbed by your explanations about the attitude of western union agent in your country. please for confidential reasons i like the way you kept it secret, please continue not to disclose it to anybody because some people are enemies of progress and more in particular usa government has a way of trying to get people pay for tax, please you most not reveal it to any authority so that we dont pay huge tax to government and you know what that means. i therefore advice that you send the money since it is too small through COURIER COMPANY like DHL, I TOLD MR. PHILLIPS THE PROBLEMS YOU ARE FACING IN TRYING TO SEND THE MONEY. He advice you should use this name and his home address: MR. EGOBIA DUKE 24 AJE STREET, ILASAMAJA LAGOS , NIGERIA that is his home address and the name is his personal assistant, i am very sure this way he will recieve the money fast. Therefore my good friend go immediately to send it out through DHL OR FEDERAL EXPRESS COURIER and please make sure you package the money well before sending it and dont let them know exectly you are sending out money so that we shall maintain the confidentiality especially as our business is coming to an end. So post it and write me immediately to tell how you did. Finaly i have forwarded the letter of claims to the appriopate authority in the bank and they are working on it, they will write you soonset the are through with there processing. thank you for your good coperation, greet audrey for me. regards, william okon (DR). ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour agrees to the alternate plan. Just for fun, he also dangles the offer of a gift. 4/10/03 SUBJECT: RE: Western Union Problem!!! My good Dr. Okon, A courier should be fine. I definitely won't tell them that I am sending money, as it is none of their business! You mention packing the money well. Are you thinking that I should send cash instead of a certified check? I can send the cash if Mr. Phillips might have trouble cashing a foreign check. Please let me know, and if cash is your preference, do you prefer small bills like twenties? Also, do you think I should include anything else in the package to throw off suspicions? I can send a gift-type item and list the contents of the package as a birthday gift. Even if I send a check, concealing it in some item would probably be a good idea. I don't know how much scrutiny foreign packages go through these days, especially with the war and foreign events. Maybe that is why Western Union is so paranoid. Please let me know your preference so I can dispatch the package posthaste. Yours in prosperity, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ The jackal smells blood. Note that Dr. Okon appeals to Seymour's greed to help reel him in by alluding to a larger percentage of the spoils: 4/10/03 SUBJECT: RE: Western Union Problem!!! my dear good friend, thank you so much for friendly response, by all this i have now more stronger trust in your person and i will make everything possible to even reward you ore than i promise you. please i advice you can buy a mobile phone and mark it as gift item to him, but try to buy samsung tru eye blue face type of handset. because samsung has a free sample passage of percel through our airport. please do that immediately, yes the recent war is causing suspicion and doubts especially in usa and its allied counties. Please make the money in $20 0r $50 bill , fold it well inside the handset and then write him or myself to tell me how and where you hide it. i am waiting now for your kind reply, thank my good friend, regards, william okon (okon). ___________________________________________________________________________ With a payoff in sight, Dr. Okon sends another message before Seymour can respond: 4/11/03 SUBJECT: PLS REPLY ASAP... my dear good friend, how are you today, hope you and audry are doing well. please i just want to know how far you have been able to follow the despatch of the parcel. i hope you did follow my advice, because mr. phillips is waiting to hear from. please, you have to be fast so that mr. phillips can get the other vital papers for bank verifications on your behalf. The director claims would like to speak with you for confirmation puposes before he can endorse his signature for onward approvals. please try to get a funactional phone number where emergencies like this can be related to you privately. or do you suggest mr. phillips speaks with him on your brhalf ?, please advice. Finaly, i am most happy to re-assure you that i have a full confident in you as my partner and look forward to seeing you and your lovely audry. Reply asap,or call me or phillips, have a nice weekend, regards, william okon (Dr). ___________________________________________________________________________ The scam is doomed to failure, but Seymour has to tease Dr. Okon one more time before burning the transaction. More song lyrics included: 4/11/03 SUBJECT: RE: PLS REPLY ASAP... Good morning! I spoke with the courier companies to get rates and information, and unlike Western Union, they were most helpful and cooperative. I am getting the cell phone today and will also speak with them about ensuring that international calling/receiving calls is functional on my phone. Meanwhile, please ask Mr. Phillips to handle any necessary representation on my behalf in dealing with the director of claims. His rates seem most reasonable (especially compared to the money grubbing lawyers here in the U.S.), so if it incurs any additional expense for addition time and work on his part, I will ensure that he is well compensated. Your offer in your previous email of additional money is most kind, but I will have more than enough for a comfortable life with the originally agreed on percentage. But if you wish to do anything of that nature, I will forward any additional money to the Skid Row Home for Boys. That is where I lived until Mr. Mushnik took me in. He gave me floors to sweep, toilets to clean, and every other Sunday off. It was hard work, but it taught me good character, and now I have inherited his store and also have my thriving botanical medical practice. I credit my success directly to the opportunities given to me, and I would like to ensure that other youngsters have the same chance. It is still early here, as I like privacy when writing about our business deal. But this morning I will be getting the phone before I go out on my house calls and then prepare it with the funds. I don't think you expressed a preference between a certified check or cash, so I will do cash as I know that is negotiable anywhere. I don't want a foreign check to cause delays in our deal when it is so close to completion. I will update you when the gift is in its way. Yours as always, Seymour ___________________________________________________________________________ All good things must come to an end, including Dr. Okon's hopes of getting any money out of Seymour. More song lyrics included: 4/11/03 SUBJECT: URGENT!!! ABORT PLANS!!! Dr. Okon, it is urgent that we abort and abandon our plans! Beware of problems at the bank! Twoey called the bank. That nosey bastard handles our bills and checked the phone bill online. I had called the bank from our store phone, and when Twoey saw an international call, he freaked out. I hadn't told him anything about our dealings, so he didn't know why anyone would be calling Nigeria. Apparently he called the phone company and they insisted the call was placed from Mushnik's. So he called the number to see who it was. Thankfully he doesn't know your name or anything about what was going on. He demanded information from him, and of course the didn't know what he was talking about. He confronted me this morning, and it didn't help that I was "preparing" the cell phone when he barged in. Of course I refused to tell him what's going on, but his knowledge and contact with the bank has endangered our whole enterprise. He's a mean green mother who turns our store into a little shop of horrors. I have deleted all of our correspondence from my email and have destroyed my printouts of the documents so the nosy bastard can't get any more information. It is driving him crazy to know why I was inserting money into a phone, but I'll never tell him and I've denied all knowledge of the call. I'm sure you won't have problems finding someone else to complete the transaction, since it is well on its way. It breaks my heart to think that Twoey has cost me a fortune, but I can't risk problems with the law myself as my medical practice is already questionable. It thrives thanks to the open mindedness of the California culture, but I can't afford close scrutinty. And I'm sure it will be difficult enough for you to explain Twoey's ranting call. I'm sure that two strange calls from California in one week has set off some alarm bells. You have a lot more at stake than I do, so you must be protected and prevented from having trouble. I will pretend that our discussions and transactions never took place. Regretfully, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ The prospect of losing when he thought he was so close has driven Dr. Okon to insulting Seymour's manhood in the subject line of the email: 4/11/03 SUBJECT: be a man... my dear friend, i am very much worried and infact not comprehending actually what you are telling me. trowey, cannot stop you nor myself from concluding this transaction. the only thing is that we should only be careful with communications. and i think you caused it because you went and placed a phone call from your joint company giving him room to suspect you. however, his suspicion cannot stop you, i will cover everything up here, just keep your side tight and remain cool. stop being curios this i have told you before. please, just go ahead and send out the money through the courier company including it as gift and remember to make sure you hide the money well inside the phone. i assure you i and phillips will make sure we protect you fro trowey,s ranting behaviour. Dont think of stoping half way, remember i have taking you into confidence, if it is not you , i dont think i can find someone to trust like you. My advice to you is that you stop using any communications facility that belongs to you and trowey so that he wont have any room to follow up our deal . please , i have already submitted your name and informations to the claims department and all processing regarding to transfers has been in progress and it will not be far to stop me half way. mr. phillips has equally made show up to the bank on your behalf so why can you stop him, already we have promised to pay him and as a lawyer he has sign an agreement with us, so how am doing all this. i look forward to hear your speedy response and pls tell me how you send out the package. thank you , regards, william okon (Dr). ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour is still afraid of the mean green mother, despite Dr. Okon's assurances of protection. Obviously he didn't see the movie or he would know a little more about Mr. Mushnik and Oren's fates: 4/11/03 SUBJECT: RE: be a man... My dear Dr. Okon, I think you do not understand about Twoey. He is good at business but also very dangerous and controlling. It was through his assistance that I came into possession of Mushnik's, and Audrey is also in debt to him because of his assistance in dispatching Oren, her abusive former boyfriend. But I am afraid that I have guilty knowledge in both of those situations, and he uses it against me. I have enjoyed success in business with his assistance, but at a very steep price. I suspect that he might have forced Audrey to tell him what she knows. Of course, she believed that I am engaged in a horticultural transaction so he does not have any incriminating information. But I'm afraid that I have too much at stake because Twoey has not morals and is not beyond blackmail if he believes that I was planning to make a business deal behind his back. I guess that some things are not meant to be. I hope that the funds are your ticket to a better life, but I believe that I am fated to remain in this business with Twoey. Perhaps someday I will find someone who can take care of him and eliminate him as a problem like the ugly weed he is. I know I shouldn't say that, but I feel that I can trust you as you have trusted me and you know how much he has cost me in forcing me to pull out of our deal. I am deleting your message as soon as I hit "send" so he is not able to get your information. I destroyed all of my printouts and our previous correspondence so there is nothing he can find. Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Sheesh, these guys don't give up easily! Now Dr. Okon is ready to cut Twoey in: 4/11/03 SUBJECT: RE: be a man... my dear friend, in that case why dont we involve him in this lucrative business. and can you still lend my supporting hand? i am waiting and hanging around my computer to wait for your speedy response. regards, william ___________________________________________________________________________ Seymour cannot be enticed (more song lyrics thrown in): 4/11/03 SUBJECT: RE: be a man... My excellent friend, I am most impressed by your wanting to find a way that I can share in this windfall. It has been a most busy day, as I started my work late due to the falling out with Twoey which caused some problems at the shop. But with Twoey, you don't know what you're messing with. You have no idea! He is NOT to be trusted, because once he knows about something you've done that needs to be kept private, he will use it as leverage to maintain control and keep you ensnared in his clinging vines. When we were first planning this transaction, I considered convincing you to include him because I thought that if we did that upfront, there would be no risk of his finding out later. But if he finds out that I was trying to keep this from him, his reaction will not be pleasant. He knows too much already, but I am sticking to the story of a distribution deal with a botanist that fell through. That will be best for all of us. Good luck to you in this endeavor. It's a once in a lifetime stroke of luck to have an opportunity to come into so much money, but for me it won't be worth it if it binds me to Twoey even more than I already am. Regretfully, Dr. S ___________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Okon still hasn't given up: 4/12/03 SUBJECT: decide now pls... my dear friend, i acnnot understand your true position and exactly what you is your finaly decision. pls tell me if you are still interested to do this business with me. Again, are still sending out the money to mr. phillips?. make everything clear, time is not on my side. i am tired of all this story of trowey. we are talking of millions of dollars, i hope you know that. i am waiting, so that i can act fast before it is too late for me. thank you, williams. Seymour spells it out again. Doesn't Dr. Okon understand that Seymour is giving up millions just to protect him? Maybe he should just say, “You're ben scammed, you stupid mugu!”: ___________________________________________________________________________ 4/12/03 SUBJECT: RE: decide now pls... My good friend Dr. Okon, As much as I am sorely tempted to proceed with our deal, I am afraid that I cannot. It is for my protection and also for yours, as I am impressed with your extraordinary generosity and have come to admire you as a friend. I do not wish you to come to harm or to have your job endangered because you put your trust in someone with a vindictive business partner. While I am dazzled by the idea of being a millionaire, the money would be worthless to me if I wind up in jail. If Twoey finds out the specifics of our deal and realizes that I would have become fabulously rich without cutting him in, he would not hesitate to do anything in his power to get revenge. As I mentioned before, he has information that could implicate me in two suspicious disapearances. And since what I am doing in claiming to be the next of kin to a person I've never met is probably not legal either, I'm sure he would use that as additional leverage. Twoey came in when I was concealing the money in the cell phone in preparation for shipping it, so he knows something suspicious is going on. I would not explain, as he would most certainly contact your superiors at the bank and cause trouble for you, too, if I did. He did call the number on our phone bill, but since he did not have any names or information, I am hoping that you did not have any further trouble like you did when I called. Since he didn't know anything, hopefully they simply thought he was a raving lunatic. My friend, good luck to you as I'm sure you will have no troubles finding a partner who is unencumbered by the difficulties that I face. But I'm sure you understand now why it would endanger both of us to continue in this business together. Dr. S ------------------------------------------------------------------
Says our dear Dr. Krelbourne - A few days after I sent everything along, I received the message below. I guess they wanted to check one more time to make sure the well was dry. ------------------------------------------------------------------ --- James Phillips [email@example.com] wrote: Attn: Dr. Seymour Krelbourne I write to inform you that for quit a while now, I have not heard from either you or okon about my professional legal fees, I would be forced to drop my service and the meeting with the bank if I do not hear from either of you. I await your urgent response Regards Barrister James Phillips
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