ROBERT/HUBBARD vs. SULEMAN/JUBRIL: A PLAY IN SEVERAL ACTS

From a Kindly Contributor, playified at the Scamorama Cabaret. The wily Robert and his banker, "L. Ron Hubbard", versus "Dr Suleman" and "Barrister Jubril". Sinister music. He enters, tugging at his curly moustache. He slips on a banana peel. Who says the theatre is dead? Get some friends together, read it out loud!


[The game starts with your basic Dead Bank Customer Memorial letter. We won't burden you with the whole thing]
SULEMAN :

I AM THE MANAGER BILL EXCHANGE OF THE FOREIG REMITTRANCE DEPARTMENT OF INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA LOME-TOGO ... blah blah... WE DISCOVERED AN ABANDONED SUM OF ...FOURTY TWO MILLION US DOLLARS ... THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR FOREIGN CUSTOMER WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY IN NOVEMBER 1997 IN A PLANE CRASH ... blah blah ... ... LEAVING NOBODY BEHIND FOR THE CLAIM. [ yeah, yeah, whatever ]

YOU MUST APPLY FIRST TO THE BANK AS RELATION OR NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED INDICATING YOUR BANK NAME, YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER, YOUR PRIVATE, TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER ... blah blah ... YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR AS ALL REQUIRED ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE FOR THE TRANSFER. YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER. TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY.

YOU CAN ALSO REACH ME ON THIS ALTERNATIVE E-MAIL: drsuleman1@yahoo.com

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR LUKMAN SULEMAN

ROBERT:
Dr. Suleman,

What delight your letter brings to my heart! Rest assured, I do not have, as you put it so eloquently, an "atom of fear" about this transaction. I will be happy to act as the next of kin for this poor deceased man; after all, are we all not brothers, if you dig down deep enough into our common and noble ancestry? Who knows but that you and I might have some distant relation--perhaps cousins once removed? Tell me, do you have any relatives in Oklahoma?

What a lot of wine 30% of 42 million will buy! You see, Dr. Suleman, my colleagues and I at the JCI are great connisseurs of some of the finer fortified wines: Thunderbird, Wild Irish Rose, MD 20/20 and the like. Oh, but it is a drain on the pocketbook! With our share of the funds from this transaction our humble Journal can begin constriction of our long-dreamt-of fortified wine cellar! Just imagine the delight my colleagues and I will experience when we can sample a bottle of Tunderbird not out of paper bags in the parking lot but rather in the damp, musty regions of the earth! There will be many parties in which the Thunderbird and Velveeta flow freely. The JCI will be a veritable land of milk and honey (or, rather, fortified wines and the finest processed cheese food money can buy). As our esteemed benefactor, you will naturally be the guest of honor at our ground-breaking ceremony! You will, of course, need to wear fancy dress, and, if possible, a big jeweled crown for the festivities. If you don't have a crown, please let me know at your earliest convenience and I can procure a handsome paper one from our local Burger King.

Thank you, Dr. Suleman, for your generous offer! Please respond quickly and God Bless!
Robert H.
SULEMAN :
Mr. Robert,

I admire your poetic and creative writing but consider it out of place for a business transaction . I am taking of a rare opportunity which if properly harnessed will turn one's life around.

The money is stated in my proposal we left behind by a customer who was an oil merchant and who died with his family in a private plane crash. No next of kin was surfaced and after sometime, the money will revert to the bank. All that is required of you is presenting yourself as a next of kin while the relevant particulars will be send to you. Because myself and my colleagues are involved, you will be properly guided.

I will therefore appreciate it if you could write confirming your interest on otherwise

I hope to read form you as I furnish you with other details.

Have a nice day.

Dr. Suleman Lukman
ROBERT
Dr. Suleman--
Perhaps you misinterpreted my earlier message, which, believe me, was meant in all seriousness. While I do appreciate you labeling my message 'poetic' and 'creative' rest assured I meant everything I said. So, please note that we are indeed interested in your proposal and look forward to hearing from you at the earliest opportunity.

Robert
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,

I am a practical and straight forward person with an eye for business opportunities. This transaction if seriously pursued can be concluded within Seven Bank Working Days or thereabout.

I will therefore want to introduce you to a Lawyer who will apply to the Bank for the release of the funds and tidy up all documentations relating to this transaction. The Lawyer must however not be aware of the details of this transaction since he may want to be part of it.

You will need to furnish me with your Private Telephone and Fax Numbers, Bank Names & Address, and the Account Number the money will be remitted into.

How soon this transaction is concluded is therefore dependent on you.
Let be committed in this once in a life time opportunity.
I await yours response.

Sincerely yours,
Dr. Lukman Suleman.
ROBERT
Dr. Suleman--

I'm currently in the process of setting up an account into which these funds can be deposited, as well as a private fax number so we may conduct our business with the utmost privacy. Who is the lawyer you wish me to speak with?

Eagerly awaiting your reply,
Robert
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,

You are gradually beginging to win the confidence of my colleagues who are initially skeptical to do this business with you judging by your first letter. Now I will go into details so that we can conclude swiftly.

Th Name of the Lawyer is BARRISTER JUBRIL HASSAN, with Chambers at 55A MARYLAND AVENUE, LOME-TOGO His email address is:-
(barristerjubril@yahoo.com)
and operate in other West African Countries like; Chana, Benin Republic, Nigeria and Cameroon.

Send him an email requesting his services in applying for and transfering the funds of your Late Relative "MR.SYLVESTER WILLIAMS) who died with his immediate family in a Plane Crash on 25th November, 1997. The sum is in International Bank of Africa, LOME-TOGO.

Tell him you will pay him his professional fees as soon as the funds is remitted. Since the Lawyer will end up in my department, every other process will be faciliated to achieve immediate result.

Don't forget that the Lawyer will handle the processing on your behalf as the NEXT OF KIN OF MR. SYLVESTER WILLIAMS. This is important because if I unduely present myself or my colleagues, it will raise suspicion on the transaction.

Do remember time is of the essence of this transaction. so do act timeonsly. The fax, Banking Particulars are very important, so try and make them available.

Have a wonderful day,
Dr. Suleman Lukman
ROBERT
(time to contact "barrister Jubril", obviously the same person)

: Barrister Jubril,
I am contacting you in an effort to claim funds that were in the prior possession of Mr. Sylvester Williams, my deceased relative, as I am his next of kin. Mr. Williams died with his immediate family in a Plane Crash on 25th November, 1997, and I am his only surviving relative. The sum is currently in the International Bank of Africa, Lome, Togo. Naturally, I will pay professional fees as soon as the funds are remitted.

Thanks in advance for your assistance,
Robert
ROBERT
Dr. Suleman--

I contacted barrister Jabril and am now waiting for a response. What should I do now?

Waiting for your advice,
Robert
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,

I am delighted to learn that you have contacted Barrister Jubril Hassan. I am sure he will come to the bank for enquires where they will give him further details but would pretend I do not know you. This will further give it more confidentiality. While you relating with him act as if you do not know me. Questions you don't have answers to, refer to me first for clarifications before replying.

Barrister Jubril Hassan is an International Lawyer and a specialist on PROBATE MATTERS I am made to understand he has Chambers in most West African. In case he ask you how you got to know him, let him know that a golden fish has no hinding place and that one of his client gave you the contact. I want us to use him because with his reputation most things will not be required.

At the rate we are progressing, the funds should be out in a matter of days.

I am a Phd. Holder in Political Economics and currently pursueing a Part-time Programme in Law because I have the ambition to end up as the Director General of this Bank.

This is partly why I keep emphasising confidentiality and secrecy of this transaction. I do not want my ambition jeoparadized.

As soon as the Lawyer comes, I will send you a mail notifying you of our discussion.

Finally, respond quickly to mails to enable us conclude fast.

Sincerely Yours,
Dr. Suleman Lukman.
JUBRIL
Dear Robert,
Thanks for your mail of 13th August 2002. I understood you well but the question is How did you get my contact?.
However, I have gone a stop a head by visiting the Bank your mentioned. There I met One Mrs. Craio and Dr Suleman and others, who assisted me with some valuable information.
There I discovered that your Late Uncle left behind $42 MILLION USD and an interest of $3MILLION USD has accreted on the sum. I have also informed the officials of the Bank orally that I will apply for the release of the funds but until I have known my position with you.

Now I will like you to note the following:-
I am going to depose to an Affidavit on your behalf in respect of the claims.
I will make an Official Application to the Bank for the release of the funds.
Arrangement from the High Court to procure Probate Certificate.
Please, you will furnish me with the following details:
Your Full Names,
Home Address
Telephone/Fax Numbers.
Bank Names & Address.
Account Number.
Bank Address, Telephone/Fax Numbers.
State your exact Relationship with the deceased.

Robert, It is not natural, it is not our standard practice nor is it part of the Legal etiquette only after the entire brief had been concluded. I do not want to refuse this breif on this condition but I would like us to agree on the following:-
A Standard Agreed/Deed but put in place between you and my Office to be remunerated actually immediately on the release of the funds.
That a Professional fee of One (1%) of the entire sum of $45MILLION shall be paid to my office at the said period.
That an Immediate Consultation fees of $26,000 USD be paid to us to enable us tidy up the Court Process, like the Affidavits/Oaths, Stamp Duties on our Application, Procurement of Probate Certificate and the unavoidable P.R.O's to the process.

Your response will determine any further course of action.
Yours truly,
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
$26,000! Time to take up this matter with Dr. Suleman!

Dr. Suleman--
I hope you are doing well! I wanted to let you know that I received a communication from Barrister Jubril Hassan this morning and he wants a $26,000 consultation fee! While I understand that lawyers are never cheap, this fee does seem a bit excesive, so I wanted to check with you and see if you thought this was a reasonable request.

Dr. Suleman, how well do you know this Barrister Jubril? Now that we've had the chance to correspond for awhile I feel I know you and can trust you in any matter. I have no doubt that your dealings are above board and that you are an honest, God-fearing sort of man. However, I have my suspicions about Barrister Jubril--do you think this man may have some idea of our transactions? $26,000 is a lot of money! Fortunately, I have that much on hand if you feel that he is indeed a trustworthy man, but I wanted to consult with you first before doing anything rash.

If you doubt Barrister Jubril's intentions, may I make a suggestion? I've been looking at lawyers on the web and perhaps this would be a cheaper solution to our problems: Pre-Paid Legal Insurance! Look at the link below and tell me what you think...

http://wserver0.prepaidlegal.com/product/need.html

Anyway, I won't do anything until I receive your advice as you are clearly the wiser man. You have a PhD and are a big doctor of Political Econimics! Wow! So even though you're not that kind of doctor, can you still wear a lab coat and stethescope?

I thought you might want to know a little bit about me since we'll be working together on this transaction, and, like I said above, I feel I can trust you and want to get to know you a little better. I am a PE (that's physical education, in case you didn't know!) teacher in Michigan at a local junior high school. I don't have a fancy degree like you but I do OK anyway. I have three wonderful children, Travis, Tyler and Since I thought you might want to know what I look like, I'm enclosing a picture. Can I see yours, too? What about you? Are you married? My daughter is going to college this fall and I'm looking for a decent man for her to marry. Perhaps you'd be intersted. Anyway, I'd love to learn more about you, now that I've told you about my life!

Please get back to me soon and let me know what you think about this Barrister Jubril, so we can continue with the transaction.

Your good Friend,
Robert
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,

Barrister Jubril Hassan was here in my office for enquiries. I sent for the Account Officer incharge of SYLVESYER WILLIAMS'S account and they had useful discussions including the interest that has accrued on Williams's Funds since his death.

Has he contacted you or replied to your mail? He was surprised such huge funds was left unclaimed for all these while. I simply told him since William's Relatives operate outside of Africa, they may not have been aware he had such funds.

I am optimistic with him, we will conclude this transaction swiftly. Keep me informed with what transpires with him.

Have a wonderful day.

Sincerely yours,
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN.
ROBERT
I again remind him of my concerns:

Dr. Lukman
Thank you for your note, but did you read my recent correspondence? I am concerned that Mr. Jubril may not be completely honest. Please reassure me!

Robert
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,
v I cannot take the risk of introducing to you a dishonest and unseriosness minded person to you. The consequences would mean losing this rare opportunity and tarmishing my reputation. This I can not afford to do.

Barrister Jubril Hassan is a highly respected Attorney here who is a specialist in PROBATE MATTERS. He is reputed to have won several probate cases on behalf of his clients. I have been skeptical whether he will accept to handle this matter. If he does, I have confiddence he will deliver it very well.

The funds are not in the custody of the Lawyer. He can therefore not defraud us. The funds at the end of the day will be transfered straight to your nominated Bank Account.

Therefore, I will travel with my colleages to meet with you for the disbursement.

From the date the Lawyer applies within Seven Working days the funds will be in your Account. Please tidy up with him swiftly so that the funds can more before the month runs out.

Please look out for areas of investment one can possibly invest in. I intend to invest in U.S Tell me more about your area of business and how profitable it is so that I can give it a thought.

Finally, I have no hesitation recommending Barrister Jubril Hassan relate with him.

Have a nice day.
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
ROBERT
Well, that's a relief! Now, it's time to kick things up a notch! Supposing Dr. Suleman/Barrister Jubril are the same person, what happens if I try to double-cross Dr. Suleman with Barrister Jubril behind Dr. Suleman's back? Let's find out!:

Mr. Barrister Jubril,
I do not know you well sir, so I am taking a big risk by disclosing the following to you. It is my hope that you are a man of sense and discretion who can immediately grasp the value of what I am about to impart.

The truth of the matter, Mr. Jubril, is this: I was recently approached by a Dr. Suleman with an interesting business proposal: I was to impersonate the next of kin of a deceased foreigner (the Mr. Sylvester Williams of my previous email) in order to claim the 42 million currently in the bank. In truth, I am no relative of Mr. Williams and Dr. Suleman and I were going to split the funds 30/60, with 10% offsetting the various costs of this transaction.

I have no moral qualms about taking some of this money as Mr. Williams obviously has no next of kin.

However, the following recently occurred to me: is Dr. Suleman necessary at all in this transaction? It seems to me, Barrister Jubril, that the two of us could stand to make a fortune if we cut him out of the deal entirely and split the funds between us 50/50, which would mean, I believe, about 22.5 million apiece. I will still claim these funds as Mr. Williams' next of kin and then provide you the account details so you may claim your half. We will need to act quickly, though, before Dr. Suleman becomes suspicious and sees what we are up to--hopefully by then both of us can be out of our respective countries and lounging somewhere in a tropical paradise!

I will distract Dr. Suleman in the meantime and assure him that the transaction is going smoothly...please respond quickly as time is not on our side! But we both stand to become quite wealthy if we succeed!
v Looking forward to hearing from you,
Robert
ROBERT
Meanwhile, I assure Dr. Suleman that everything is proceeding smoothly:

Dr. Suleman--

Thank you for your comforting message! I feel much better about dealing with barrister Jubril now and just sent an email off to him, so it should not be long before our business in completed!

You are right--you cannot afford to involve a dishonest person in our transaction. I'm glad we've been able to cultivate this atmosphere of mutual trust and understanding.
v I still have one lingering question: barrister Jubril wants $26,000 up front for legal fees and what not. Am I to pay him the full sum or will you be contributing?

Looking forward to hearing from you,

your pal Robert
JUBRIL
Mr. Robert
I got your mail and I am delighted you told me the truth. In fact, you are a worthy client because one of the high points of the Lawyer/Client relationship is truth all the way.

On my part one of the basic professional etiquette is for me to protect what ever information you give to me very jealously.

Mr. Robert, I am highly reputed in this area of the law and I think so many people I do not know, actually know me hence I was recommended to you.

You have told me the truth, I do hereby pledge that I will guard and protect the storey you told me without letting it out and with the utmost goodfaith.

But my position is this:-
(1.) I do not know Dr. Suleman from Adam. I only got to know him when I got to the Bank for the inquiries about the funds. I also discovered the he works with the Bank and very cardinal because he works with the Remittance Department and appears to have mosy vital information in that regard. My point is that it is not possible to cut him out of the Business.

(2). My Professional ethics and conduct will not infact allow me to oblige you with cutting the said Dr. Suleman off the business.

MR. Robert, all eyes on me and with my International achievement as a Lawyer I do not think I would been recommended to you if I have been working like that. I will not let Dr. Suleman know what you have suggested to me but I will like you, to go on with whatever you may have agreed with him because he is going to help in loosening tight ends in my APPLICATION to release the funds and fast too.

Mr. Robert, I am only interested in the 1% I have requested for as my professional fees, but I do think that if you are not confortable with the percentage ratio as you wrote to me in your mail, you can ask for a higher percentage from the said Dr. Suleman if you have not sealed the agreement.

But then let me ask you, are you sure you will release my professional fees after the funds must have gone into your Account? now that you are making this kind of suggestion?.

The Truth is that if Dr. Suleman suspects anything in the process he might stop the money from moving into your account, so maintain your relationship with him so that it will be easy for me to go through with my application for the release of the funds.

Hoping to hear from you, for the particulars i requested for to enable me start work for you.

Regards,
Barrister Jubril Hassan (Esq).
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril,
You are such a noo-noo head! I can't believe that you have this wonderful opportunity staring you in the face and yet you decline to help me cheat this Dr. Suleman out of his funds! Why? Surely what with your being a fancy-pants prostate lawyer and all you know that 50 percent of 42 million is far better than one percent! Give me a break! You are, like, such a wuss!
v The only possible explanation I can come up with is that you and Dr. Suleman must be romantically involved somehow. Why are you keeping this from me? I too am well acquainted with the love that dare not speak its name. And yet, am I all man? Oh, yes I am! Rowrrrrr!

Still, if you refuse to accept my offer, there's really nothing else I can do, and I suppose I'll have to satisfy myself with 30% of the 42 million. So, please tell me what information you require from me so we can wrap this transaction up.

Please believe me when I say that I wish you and Dr. Suleman much happiness in the future! I hope you two can make a cozy little home together. Perhaps when this transaction is finished I can come visit you and we 3 can have a little bit of fun together, if you know what I mean! I'll bring the mirrorball! Oh, yeah!

Please respond quickly so we can wrap this transaction up with all due haste,
Robert
JUBRIL
Mr. Robert,
You strike me like an unserious minded fellow. I am too busy a person to have time for frivolities.
I have a reputation to protect and would have nothing dent it.
Yours faithfully,
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ).
ROBERT
I send back a firey reply:

Mr. Dumbass Barrister Jubril
I may strike you as an unserious fellow, but you strike me as a complete idiot! Barrister my ass! I bet you can't barrast your way out of a goddamned paper bag! I bet when you and all the other barristers-in-training played barrister dodge-ball or kick the zebra or whatever the hell it is you play over there you were always picked last and then all other other barristers put a 'kick me' sign on your fat barrister ass.

You are an idiot, "Barrister Jubril" and here are the reasons why:
1). You do not want to enter into this scheme with me because you claim it will tarnish your reputation, but
2). You have no qualms about helping me impersonate someone I'm not. Is that ethical? I think not!
You have to understand that, personally, I don't care what you and this goddamned Suleman fellow do when you're alone together--that's your own private business. But your calling me an userious person has really gotten me angry! I am SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION, "Barrister Jubril" and yet you treat me as though I were some kind of joking fool!

So, please, reply with the necessary particulars in a return email so we can go ahead and expeditie this transaction. I clearly misjudged you--you are a very unsavory man, so let's get this business over with quickly!

Robert Then, I few minutes later, I send Barrister Jubril a "Hello Kitty: Let's be Friends" e-card, apologizing for my earlier outburst.


ROBERT
Meanwhile, I write to Dr. Suleman:

Dr. Suleman--

I don't know where you found this Barrister Jubril person, but he is a most unsavory man and not to be trusted! Do you think it might be possible to work with another lawyer, preferably one you're not emotionally involved with?

Regards,
Robert
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,
I wasn't avoiding your question in respect of payment of consultation fee of $26,000 to the Lawyer. I have no reason to avoid any issue raised by you relating to this transaction. I said I wasn't expecting the lawyer's fees to be paid now until after the transaction which usually is a percentage of the entire sum. But that having sent his consultation fee, you should let me know what you have and what the difference, and see what can be done but that we are not allowed to keep foreign account from which funds like this can be drawn.

I have discussed your mail extensively with my collegues who are involved in this transaction and their perception is as follows:-
1). Your inability to pay the Lawyer's consultation fee is a clear sign of your unwillingness to continue with this transaction. Particularly, since this money will be refunded from the reserved percent.
2). They would appreciate it if I could get a mail from you stating clearly that you cannot carry on with the transaction so that they can bring in their interested party.
3). They are suprised that after one full week since you indicated interest, no official application has been made to the bank for the funds, yet time is running out.
4). They do not understand what your difficulty is with Barrister Jubril and why you refer to him as "Unsavory man that cannot be trusted" However, you are free to pick any other Lawyer practising in Togo to conclude the transaction on a personal note. I wish to add that I do not understand what you you mean by "another Lawyer I wound not emotionally involved with" I hope this is not suggestive of emotional involvement with Barrister Jubril. If it does. I demand an apology.

Finally, I request a reply from you stating clearly what your intention is concerning this transaction. We can not continue on an endless communication without positive results. I will be most obliged if you would acknowledge your inability to carry on with this transaction. At least it will give my colleagues the opportunity to bring in their candidate and save me the embarrassment of ruining their once-in-a life time opportunity.

Have a wonderful day.
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN.
JUBRIL
Meanwhile, Barrister Jubril wants to make up:

Dear Robert,
I take very strong exception to your choice of words as in describing me as "unsavoury". It is most indecent for a Lawyer of my standard to get such unruly spanking from an expected civilized and well cultured man from the part of the world where you come from.

However, this percieved insult have been eventually ameliorated or doused by your last mail alongside the friendship card sent across to me. Thank you very much. Some client are like that and therefore it does not deter us. Can we now work together? The discretion is yours, you gave me a brief and made suggestions. that legally speaking and quite frankly might not be possible because of the custody of the funds and the strategic position held by the man you are requesting to be avoided.

Mr. Robert, you are the person who is delaying the transaction as a result of your apparent lack of trust in the Lawyer, that is myself) you appointed.

But take it or leave it, if you do the needful, that is to say, send down all I had earlier requested in my first mail to you, then consider a substantial progress in the process of the release of the said funds into your nominated account.
Go through through my first mail and sent the requirements to enable me start off.

Thanks.
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
I respond to both:

Dr. Lukman,
I always feel better after reading your correspondence. I apologize for the strident tone of my earlier email; I'm afraid I'd just had an excnage with Barrister Jubril that left me a little rattled. I have no doubt, however, that we can now proceed quickly. Now, to address the points you raised below:

1). I never said I was not able to pay the lawyer's consultation fee and will be happy to pay for 50% now. Would $13,000 from each of us be adequate?

2). I never said I could not carry on this transaction--if there were any misunderstandings I apologize for them. Please forward this message on to the relevant parties.

3). I will be working with Barrister Jubril to submit an official application for the funds by the end of this week.

4). I had a bad feeling about Barrister Jubril due to a recent consultation with my astrologer, who, I am now convinced, is a total quack. I am ready to do business with Barrister Jubril.

5). When I referrred to your 'emotional involvement' with Barrister Jubril in my earlier email I was working under the hypothesis that perhaps the two of you were romantically linked, though perhaps this is not the case. Either way, it's noneof my business, so I'll quit being such a Nosy Parker about it.

6). You mention that there are other candidates for this transaction, which concerns me. Who are they, and why did you not tell me about them sooner? I feel slightly betrayed, to tell you the truth. I have been completely honest with you and would never dream of going behind your back. Why are you soliciting other people while trying to finalize the particulars with me? This is hardly fair--please explain yourself.

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Robert
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril

I would now like very much to work together and bring this transaction to a speedy conclusion. I will be happy to do the needful promptly and timeously. Please remind me of the particulars you require and I will forward them posthaste. Thank you for your understanding in this matter,

Robert

------------------------------------------------------
Then--a second letter to Dr. Lukman! Emergency!

Dr. Suleman--
I need your assistance, please! I received the strangest email message this afternoon, also from someone in Togo--please see below! What can you tell me about this? Do you know this fellow? He's another doctor, so I thought you might. Do you think he's trustworthy? Please advise!
Robert

The email in question:

************************************************************

DR. IYA K. ABU
POSITION: FORMER PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO CHIEF BOLA IGE.
(Assassinated Former Justice Minister of Nigeria)
REF: THE ASSASSINATION OF THE FORMER JUSTICE MINISTER AND THE USD150 MILLION DRUG MONEY-----THE REAL STORY.
Sir,
I write you this letter believing that you will keep same a top secret as the issues involved are known only to a few of us. I have written you this letter from my hideout in a neighbouring West African country to ensure that this money involved is not lost to greedy politicians determined to use these funds for their political electioneering campaigns.

Now the real story. Last December the former Justice Minister and Attorney-General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria was killed by unknown persons. While the whole world mourned this great loss of an erudite scholar, nobody knew that the killing was actually masterminded by top government officials and the Inspector-General of Police who attempted to reveal their identity was removed from office. The main reason for the killing and all these political confusion is who gets the USD150 million recovered from illegal drug dealers.

After the killing of the Honourable Minister, two attempts were made to kill me but I managed to escape to Togo, this neighbouring West African country. They want me dead or alive because it is only the late Minister and I that have all the correct banking details where this money has been deposited. Even the Presidency do not have any details of this deposit because on the Minister's instructions, I had deposited this money in a private commercial bank. Now I am in a dilemma, the Minister my boss is dead and it is my responsibility to show human kindness to the family he left behind. Consequently, I have decided to secretly move these funds into your bank account if you will agree to this arrangement. I do not need to go back to Nigeria to accomplish this as my contacts in the commercial bank where this money is deposited are most willing to give their maximum cooperation and assistance. At the end of the whole transaction, you will retain 40% of the total sum which we are able to transfer into your bank account while the remaining 60% will be shared between me and my friends in the commercial bank back in Nigeria.

Please I await your urgent response on this matter either through e- mail or via my telephone number as indicated above.

Thank you.
DR. IYA K. ABU.
************************************************************


SULEMAN
Dear Robert,
I saw your new mail, Please don't response.
I am going to take time and give you a graphic analysis of how this transaction came about so that you will be able to appreciate your position.
1). When it became abvious that the Bank could not trace the relatives of Sylvester Williams and that the maximum of five years period allowed for claims is about to expire at which point the money will revert to the bank, myself, Mrs. Graig and Alhaji Ibrahim met and decided on a number of things.
2). We agreed that there was a need to get a foreigner to act as the NEXT OF KIN. We are agreed to sarch for who will take on that position. Mrs. Graig and Alhaji Ibrahim equally got people whille I was able to establish contact with you.
3). Since I am the most Senior Officer amongst the three of us, I insisted you will be used for the transaction, because I needed to monitor it myself so as to be sure we will get our part of the bargain and to avoid any scandal arising therefrom.
4). It was agreed that a reasonable percentage be offered to anybody taking up this position because of his role. While 30% will go to the account provider that is you, myself, Mrs. Graig and Alhaji Ibrahim will hav 60% while 10% should be for any expenses that may arise.
5). when we received your earlier response to the request of acting as a next of Kin, it was interpreted by my colleagues to mean, lack of seriousness but I insisted you should not be written off. You proved me right in your subsequent mails.
6). My colleagues are waiting for any loop holes in your ability to perform so as to bring in their own contact. This I strongly desire should not happen because it will rob negatively on my ability to tidy up transaction of this nature.
7). For as long as you work according to my instruction, nobody, I repeat nobody will side line you or take over your postion from you. I can bet you my life on it. I give you this assurance absolutely.
8). If I disclose to them that you want to pay half of the Lawyer's consultation fee, while we pay the balance, it will not go down well with them as they may interprete it to mean that you cannot handle or who cannot ever affored the services of the Lawyer who is to work for you.
9). Ordinarily, you were supposed to come down here and sort these things out yourself but because of time constraints, bills on hotel and flight ticket and hazards, a Lawyer who will deliver was recommended to work for you. The Lawyer is seen as directly working for you.
10). I urge you to do all within your power to sort out the Lawyer's fee. It will really make me proud of you before my colleague. If there is anyhin you want like additional funds from the reserved 10%, don't hesitate to let me know.
10). Get across to the Lawyer, furnish him with whatever information he would require. Let him start off. This transactin actually commences the day he officially applies for the release of the funds. THis week should not expire without that happening.
12). Don't ever forget these funds will get into your account . Don't ever give the impression of being smart otherwise my colleagues will capitalise on it.
Sort out the Lawyer and get back to me.
Yours sincerely,
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN.
SULEMAN
Then, a second letter from the good Doctor:

Dear Brother Robert,
I have carefully read the proposal sent to you by Dr. Iya K. Abu the personal Assistant to the Late Minister of Justice, Nigeria. My advise is as follows:-
1) The Minister was assassinated in cold blood by people suspected to be his political enemies including his personal Assistance Dr. Iya K. Abu.
2) The reason for the murder is drug money which he halted and which is still under investigation by both Nigerian Drug Law and the American Drug Law Agencies.
3) The Federal Government of Nigeria has sworn to fish out anybody linked with the murder or linked with the funds.
4) The Funds is seriously being monitored by Interpol with the intention of closing in on anybody involved.
5) My Dear Brother Robert, I will not want you to have anything to do with Murderers and Drug barons who are being sought after by the Government. If you want to do business, I could link you up with the Minister of Petroleum who is married to my Cousin and he could give you a Licence to lift Crude Oil from Nigeria which is the 6th Largest Oil Producing Country. This is a Legal and legitimate business. Please don't get yourself involved in illegality.
6) Have you sorted out the Lawyer. My Colleagues are anxious to know what the Position is. I have not seen the Lawyer come to apply for the funds.
Please expedite action. Today is Tuesday 20th August in Togo. This week should not pass us bye without the Application being submitted.
Have a wonderful day. Sincerely yours,
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
JUBRIL
meanwhile, "Barrister Jubril" needs my particulars:

Mr. Robert,
How are you today? The particulars you will need to supply immediately for us to get started once again are as follows:-
a. Your Full Names
b. Your Physical (Personal ) Address
c. Your Phone & Fax Numbers
d. The Name of Your Bank, Address and Phone Number.
e. Your Account Number
f. Occupation
g. The sum of $26,000 as Consultation and initial processing fee.

Note that the amount I am requesting for as consultation will cover, the Application fee, Court and Stamp duties at the Government Revenue Office As soon as I receive the above from you, I will make a formal Application to the bank accompanied by an Oath/Affidavit on your behalf as your Attorney pending approval.
I am awaiting your response.
Jubril Hassan (ESQ).
ROBERT
I give him half-assed answers:

Barrister Jubril:
Here is the information you request, sir

a. My full name is Robert Brendan Hicksman
b. My fax number is: 413-674-7052
c. the name of my bank is: First National Savings and Loan
d. My occupation is: Senior Assistant to the Executive Intrim Assisant Deputy

As for the $26,000--what's the best way to get it to you?

Robert
ROBERT
Meanwhile, I decide it's time to go to Africa myself! I write Dr. Suleman:

Dr. Suleman--
Thanks for guiding me through this rather complicated transaction. I'm going to write to Barrister Jubril Hassan today and furnish him with the particulars, so you should be seeing him soon! However, I was thinking that perhaps I should come down there is person so I could be there when these transactions are finalized. What do you think?
Robert
SULEMAN
From: Dr. Suleman Lukman [mailto:drsulemanluk@email.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2002 1:04 PM
To: Robert
Subject: COMMENCEMENT OF TRANSACTION

Dear Robert, There will be need for you to come down and finalize after the Lawyer must have gotten all the Approvals, if your time will permit you, but if not the Lawyer will sign on your behalf.

I am committed to doing this business with you and nothing is going to stop that. Just work according to my instructions and we will get the best of result.

I am anxiously waiting for Barrister Jubril to come for the Application Forms. As soon as he does that the funds should be out within Seven Bank Working Days. The moment you sort the Lawyer out notify me so that I can stay put in the office and wait for him.

I look forward to reading from you.
Have a wonderful day.

Sincerely yours.
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
ROBERT
This actually is a horrible story, but the timing IS impeccable:

Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2002 2:29 PM
To: 'Dr. Suleman Lukman'
Subject: We must start a defense fund for Amina Lawal
Dr. Lukman--
I have forwarded some of my particulars on to Barrister Jubril. I was looking forward to a speedy conclusion of this transaction when I read some shocking news! Please read the article below! Did you know they stone people to death in Africa? Are you involved in this in some way? What do you think Barrister Jubril thinks of this? Could he be involved?

I think we need to think seriously about using a portion of these funds to start a legal defense team for this poor woman. Have you heard of Johnny Cochran? He's quite a famous Lawyer in the US, and while I'm sure Barrister Jubril could do a good job I bet Mr. Cochran could run miles around him. I bet for a few million dollars we could bring him to the African continent to head the legal defense team for this poor woman. We must be philanthropic and help our fellow human beings with our newfound monetary resources! Since I'm going to be paying Barrister Jubril such outrageous legal fees, do you think he'd agree to work on this case pro bono?

Here's the horrific article--since you're an African native, perhaps you could explain this to me a little better. Have you ever stoned anyone to death? If so, why or why not? Do you think this is right? Explain.

[ScamO Note: as Robert says, the following awful story is real and has been covered for some time in major newspapers.]]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nigerian Court Upholds Stoning Death
Mon Aug 19, 9:26 PM ET
By OLOCHE SAMUEL, Associated Press Writer

FUNTUA, Nigeria (AP) - An Islamic high court in northern Nigeria rejected an appeal Monday by a single mother sentenced to be stoned to death for having sex out of wedlock.

The woman's lawyers said they planned to file an appeal to a yet higher Islamic court. If that fails, they can appeal to the Supreme Court, where the case would force a showdown between Nigeria's constitutional and religious authorities.

The introduction of Islamic law, or Shariah, in a dozen northern states has sparked clashes between the country's Christians and Muslims. President Olusegun Obasanjo's government has declared Shariah punishments such as beheadings, stonings and amputations unconstitutional. Some predominantly Muslim northern states, which began instituting Shariah shortly after civilian rule replaced military dictatorship in 1999, have accused him of meddling.

Clutching her baby daughter, Amina Lawal burst into tears as the judge delivered the ruling.

Lawal, 30, was first sentenced in March after giving birth to a daughter more than nine months after divorcing. "We uphold the judgment from the lower court," Judge Aliyu Abdullahi said on behalf of four judges at the Islamic high court at Funtua, in Nigeria's northern Katsina state.

Many of the 60 people who packed the small court room shouted "God is great!" in the Hausa dialect, as Lawal wept. The judge said the sentence would be carried out as soon as Lawal finishes breast feeding her baby. In June, the court postponed her execution until January 2004 for this reason. Lawal was given 30 days to appeal the ruling and released on bail.

She declined to speak to journalists outside the court Monday. Hiding behind her lawyer, Lawal held her baby up to shield her face from photographers. About 20 police armed with tear gas stood guard at the court entrance Monday, but there were no immediate reports of violence.

Lawal is the second Nigerian woman to be condemned to death by Islamic courts for having sex out of wedlock. The first, Safiya Hussaini, had her sentence overturned in March on an appeal. At least two other women have faced similar charges. One case was dismissed in January, and the other is on hold until the woman is healthy enough to appear in court. All the women have been poor, uneducated, single mothers from rural villages. Lawal's conviction was upheld on the basis that she admitted to having sex outside marriage. But her legal team argued she could not have knowingly made a confession because she did not understand the Arabic term for adultery, "zena." The man Lawal identified as her baby's father denied the accusation and was acquitted in March for lack of evidence.

Most spectators in court Monday welcomed the ruling. "This is a triumph of Allah's law against the enemies of Shariah," said Mohammed Radiu, 26, an Islamic studies student. "By this judgment, we are confident the government is serious about the implementation of Shariah." Off-duty police sergeant Mohammed Radiu, 26, agreed. "She had admitted her guilt. Even in a civil court, when you admit guilt, punishment will follow," she said.

Church leaders and human rights groups were dismayed. "The application of the Shariah is unconstitutional and we must not tolerate it further," John Olorunfemi Onaiyekan, Archbishop of Abuja, told the Italian-based missionary news service, MISNA. London-based Amnesty International said in a statement that stoning people to death was "the ultimate form of torture" and that the "sentence should not be carried out."

Baobab, a women's group paying for Lawal's defense, said an appeal in a higher court could set a legal precedent for all Nigerian Shariah courts. "But really we could have done without it," added Ndidi Ekekwe, a lawyer for the group. "For as long as this case lasts, the girl has a death sentence hanging over her head."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


JUBRIL
From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2002 12:34 PM
To: Robert
Subject: MORE INFORMATION

Dear Robert,
I got your short but very precise mail. The particulars are here now with me and our next line of action is for you to send the said sum of $26,000 through the following Bank:
CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR. TO: OYAK BANK
HAZNEDAR BRANCH, ISTANBUL, TURKEY
SWIFT CODE: OYAK TRIS
A/C NO: 3201362 - MY - 001
BENEF: INTERNATIONAL CLEARING CONTRACTS

Send the money across to me and sent the payment slip through my e-mail attached file for confirmation. As soon as I receive this, I will commence the Application to the Bank immediately.

Mr. Robert you have omitted to furnish me with the following:
1). Your Account Number into which the funds will be released.
2). The Address, Phone & Fax Numbers of the bank.
3). Your Physical (Personal) Address.
4). The Name of your Organisation in which you are the Senior Assistant.
Note that all these Information will enable me supply proper details in the Application Paper and the Oath to be Sworn.

Awaiting your response fast.
Regards,
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ).
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,
While I was expecting to see Barrister Jubril come to make a formal Application, I rather saw a long mail from you explaining the situation of things in Nigeria. I wish to let you know that I am not a Nigerian eventually we have a branch of the Bank in Nigeria and I have been on a working visit there.

A country with over a hundred and twenty million people of different religious affinity is bound to have some complexities arising from the activity of fanatics. A large percentage of Nigerians have always condemned these barbaric arts. I have no objection if you desire to channel your own share of the funds towards philanthropic activities in Nigeria. However, I cannot comprehended what the mail you sent has to do with our business transaction. First it was drug money and the assassination of Minister in Nigeria that I had to explain. Now it is the stoning to death of an adulterous Moslem lady. I do not know what next I would be called upon by you to make explanation of.

Mr. Robert, I have one primary relationship with you and that is that you act as a Next of Kin and pull out the funds left behind by Sylvester William before it reverts to the Bank. For as long as no official Application is made to this bank for the release of these funds, every other thing to me is baldadash.

I have said it before, if you are not comfortable with Barrister Jubril, Please drop him I am happy you know Johnny Cochran. He is a Lawyer of International repute too. Please use him but the most important thing is that this week MUST NOT PASS without an Official Application for the transfer of the funds. If no such Application is made, and the week expires, your interest would be presumed to have expired.

Finally, Mr. Robert, stoning to death is too inhuman, uncivilized, brutal and barbaric for me to be associated with it. I cannot speak for Barrister Jubril. There are good Lawyers in Nigeria you can link up with, they will help you actualize your pet philanthropic project. Furthermore, I will appreciate it if you could ask me questions about Togo where I am from. Today is Wednesday, the 21st of August 2002 and the time is 2.00pm local time. Mr. Robert, you have two more days to go.

Have a wonderful day.
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
JUBRIL
Dear Robert,
I agree with you, the Law, they say, does not stand on pontilio when there is a staving wife at home. The Law also is an ass, an unruly horse no once knows it will take you to next.

However, Mr. Robert your concern may not be greater them mine especially in those age of civilization and greater awareness. The traditional African Society was crude and which translated even into their religion. The Islamic Religion in Africa has not received the necessary call for re-orientation. Robert, I am Christian and my middle/Christian Name is Roland. I condemn such act in its entirety and described it as barbaric. In any case, the story you have relayed came from Nigeria and I can assure you that the reason for all the irrational Islamic/Sharia Judicial decision are politically motivated. The political atmosphere in Nigeria today, (because we have been also monitoring it from here) is very volatile because Elections are drawing nearer and I know also that such decision does not emanate from the normal or the ordinary regular court decisions.

Robert, my opinion is that the decision is most unwholesome and unformate. I have never participated and don't at all. However, note that this is not the case all over Africa. I am thinking along the line of gathering some other Lawyers and friends who think alike on the need to setting up a non-governmental organization to be know as MISSION OF MERCY INTERNATIONAL (MOMI).

However, let not our attention be diverted for too long because if we apply and get the funds released, there and then we shall have the capacity to help. Still awaiting your final instructions and enablements to go ahead with the Application, I have received the Account Number anyway.

Regards,
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
I am afraid there have been a few unforseen complications and I place great value on your advice. I went to my bank this afternoon to arrange for the money transfer and the bank manager got all nosy and asked what it was for. I told him it was none of his concern, but he still wouldn't let the matter rest. Finally I told him I was sending the money to some relatives in Africa, and he GREW VERY SUSPICIOUS AND TOLD ME HE SUSPECTED FRAUD. I tried to allay his anxieties, but he would have none of it and demanded to speak with you immediately. Would it be possible to set up a meeting my telephone in the near future? Please respond urgently!
Robert
JUBRIL
Dear Robert,
Thanks for your mail. The suspicion of your Bank Manager is correct. Legally speaking what you and Dr. Suleman is doing has only one name -FRAUD. The money does not belong to Dr. Suleman nor you nor are you a relative of Sylvester Williams. But I guess since the Bank would take hold of the funds after having searched for the relative of Sylvester Williams, Dr. Suleman decided to hold onto it with you. This much I was able to understand from the mail you sent to me earlier on.

I have no problems personally with you or Dr Suleman or anybody for that matter taking on the funds but the problem is that it is not the kind of transaction you open up to everybody. I have kept mine confidential because of my Professional Standing. If I cannot confront Dr. Suleman with the f acts you presented to me, why should I now open up discussions with your bank manager to prove to him that the transaction is not fraudulent? Put yourself in my shoes.

Finally, if you do not trust Dr. Suleman as trust is the basis for any meaningful business, then you can forego the transaction. But if you do and you are allowing the bank manager to constitute a clog on your way, then it is rather unfortunate. The choice is absolutely yours.

Your question should have been channeled to Dr. Suleman who have more facts. Let me advice that if your bank manager knows the details, he might take undue advantage. Having told the bank manager that you are sending the money to your relative, STAND BY IT, Don't forget you have already claims that Sylvester Williams is your relative. When the money is transferred to your account the source of the funds will be easier to explain.

I wish you the best. It is only your decision that matters in all these.
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
Date: Wed, 21 Aug 2002 11:03:49 -0400
To: "'Dr. Suleman Lukman'"
Subject: RE: EVENT IN NIGERIA
Dr. Suleman,

I must say that I'm a little taken aback by the tone of your last email.

While I understand that time is of the utmost essence in this transaction, there's no excuse for such rudeness on your part, and if you consider the sufferings of others "balderdash", as you put it, you must be a very hard-hearted man indeed. Therefore, I would like to take a moment to respond to the points you raise in your email one by one.

1). You state "I cannot comprehended what the mail you sent has to do with our business transaction. First it was drug money and the assassination of Minister in Nigeria that I had to explain. Now it is the stoning to death of an adulterous Moslem lady. I do not know what next I would be called upon by you to make explanation of." Let me explain myself, Dr. Suleman. As an American my knowledge of Africa is, sadly, quite limited. Aside from yourself and Barrister Jubril I have no contacts on the African continent as such, and naturally my communication with you piqued my curiosity. I wanted to learn as much as possible about your continent, and, in the course of my research, unearthed the article I sent you yesterday. I turn to you now for advice and consultation on all matters African, and am deeply hurt when you write such lines as, "I have one primary relationship with you and that is that you act as a Next of Kin and pull out the funds left behind by Sylvester William before it reverts to the Bank. For as long as no official Application is made to this bank for the release of these funds, every other thing to me is baldadash." I respect and admire you, Dr. Suleman, and I wanted you to enlighten me about this horrible practice. Instead, I get a curt and hurtful response. This pains me.

2). I am now very comfortable with Barrister Jubril. For your information, I have forwarded my particulars to him and will be going to the bank this afternoon to have the $26,000 transferred into his account. Therefore, I don't appreciate you using such lines as "day is Wednesday, the 21st of August 2002 and the time is 2.00pm local time. Mr. Robert, you have two more days to go." I have been extremely cooperative up to this point, and your pushiness is not appreciated. I would appreciate an apology.

3). You're absolutely right--I should ask you questions about Togo as opposed to Nigeria. So, please, if you would, tell me a little bit about your country, as I am very eager to learn. Also, I would like to know a little bit about you: your interests, your age--are you married? etc.

4). As I mentioned above, I will be going to my bank this afternoon to release the funds to Barrister Jubril. If he does not submit an application to you shortly thereafter, I recommend you contact him directly, if possible, to see what's causing the delay.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Your Friend Robert


SULEMAN
Dear Robert,

I tender an unreserved apology to you for what turned out to be rudeness on my part. I am really very sorry.

From now henceforth, aside of my business relationship with you, I will take out time to write to you about African and Africans. I had seriously misjudged you by presuming that you already know much about Africa.

I was initially not too comfortable with issues concerning Nigeria. This is because Nigeria has the largest population in Africa. Almost every African is presumed a Nigerian. Yet Nigeria has carved for itself a bad reputation in the comity of Nations. Cases of fraud and scam, Drug Trafficking, Assassination, Religious conflict and such related acts always emanate from Nigeria. It really makes things difficult as foreigners who believe that every Blackman is a Nigerian treat us with contempt. That was my frame of mind when I responded to your mail. I saw it as another attempt to be ridiculed because of the activity of Nigerians.

I am from Togo, a small country in West Africa with a population of about seven million. Our main occupation is farming. Most citizens are Christians with a good mixture of the Moslems. A quite country with a low level of crime. It is tourism from France as we were colonized by them. I had my first degree in Economics from the University of De-es-salem in Tazania with a first class before processing to Oxford University where I did my masters and Doctorate degrees in Political Economy. Presently, I am taking on law on part-time basis.

I am married to Professor Sylaneta, a University lecturer. I have three kids - 2 boys and a girl. I am 49years and have worked with the bank for 21years. My ambition is to end up as a Director in this bank, retire and set up a Non-governmental organization to tackle the problem of poverty and mans inhumanity to man. I guess I have sufficiently given you a rundown on myself. As per my interest I like writing, documentaries and traveling.

I am sorry if I appear pushful in this transaction. The reason is simply that my managing Director is presently around and would readily approve the Application when I present it to him. He will soon be moved to other branches in other countries. I do not know who will take over from him. He may want to be too officious and that may center undue delay. Moreover, my colleagues are over me to know the position of things. Once the Application is made and is approved as I am sure it would, then even if the Managing Director is moved, anybody that assumes his position will simply continue from where he stopped. That had informed the pushfulness. It is in our interest. I didn't mean to give you an ultimatum.

Thanks for the respect and admiration. I mist confess you have created some positive impact on me and that was why I swore nobody will take your place in this transaction. I seriously look forward to meeting you immediately the funds is released into your Account.

I am sorry if I did hurt you in anyway.

Note:- Once again, you said you have gone to the bank to sort the Lawyer out, But up till now, I have not seen the Lawyer coming for the Application form. I am still expecting to see him.

Sincerely yours
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril!

I am happy to report that the transaction has been smoothly conmpleted and I have received a faxed form of confirmation from my bank. I am attaching the receipt for your records. It has been a pleasure doing business with you and I look forward to the swift completion of our business!

Robert

(I deliberately transposed 2 numbers on [the 'receipt' for] their account)
JUBRIL
Dear Robert,

Thanks for your mail. I have received the Payment Slip from the My e-mail Attached file confirming that the Money has been paid into my Account. I have already finished the draft of my Application letter to enable me obtain Bank forms unfairlingly tomorrow.

I will get into touch with you immediately after I received Bank forms. Regards,
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ).
SULEMAN
Dear Robert,
If there is anything I desire as writing you this mail, it is to hug you and give you a pat on the back. I coudn't contain the joy that erupted in me when I saw Barrister Jubril Hassan come for the Application Forms. I hereby managed to keep a stright face. That has been the moment I have been anxiously waiting for. The dream of being a Millionaire is gradually transforming from the boundaries of illusions and uncertainties to the platform of realities. With what I have heard of Barrister Jubril, I expect that substantial grounds would be covered by nect week and by the upper week, the funds is expected to be in your Account.

I would now rely on you for more information on the transaction as Barrister Jubril. I gues, would be keeping abrast of development. From my end, whatever stage of success will be instantaneously passed on to you. I would humbly request you furnish me with your private phone number for faster communication. I look forward to reading from you.

Once again thanks for making me proud before my colleagues.
Have a wonderful day.
Sincerely yours,
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
JUBRIL
But then...

Mr. Robert,
Please, ruch to the Bank and correct the Account Number, The Bank has made a mistake on the Account Number:
The correct Acount Number is 3201362 - MY - 001 (CORRECT ONE)
and NOT 3210362 (WRONG ONE) TAKE NOTE.

This is to prevent the money from entering into another person account However,correct it and sent me the Payment Slip again for confirmation. I have initiated the Application process and will expedite action for a successful and speedy conclusion

Thanks
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
JUBRIL
Robert,
I am sorry, I am having problems in retrieving the money you sent to me, Probably due to the slight mix-up in the Account number.

I will therefore urge you, please use this fresh but more convenient Account No:
CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR.TO: SWIFT CODE: BBVA ESMM
A/C. NO: 0182 1793 51 2011000037
BENEF: UNIGLOBE CONTRACTS
Once again re-send and forward the particulars including the value date as soon as possible.

Thanks.
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)


ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
Thank you for noting the account discrepancy. I will go to the bank this morning and correct this immediately.
Robert
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
I just wanted to let you know I spoke with my bank and explained my situation.
They were very sympathetic and said it would not be difficult to re-post this money.
I have an appointment this afternoon and will forward the information to you then.

ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
I have just returned from the bank and re-routed the funds.
Attached it the requested payment slip.
Hopefully this will clear everything up!
Can you send me a copy of the application for funds in the meantime?
Thanks,
Robert
ROBERT
Dr. Lukman!
I am so happy this transaction is now proceeding full speed ahead, as it were.
I would very much like to send you a gift as a token of my appreciation!
What is your address, please?

Your friend,
Robert

JUBRIL
From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, August 23, 2002 4:55 PM
To: Robert
Subject: RE: UPDATE

Dear Robert,
I am really sorry subjecting you through the whole stress you have undergone.
I have spent the better part of the day at the Bank trying to sort things out:
I am relieved at your last mail. I have collected the requires sets of Application forms and ready to swing into action full scale by Monday. I promise to keep you posted with the minute to minute account of my efforts and documents by Monday.
Thanks
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
Please--no apology is necessary, as it was a simple misunderstanding with the bank which was easily corrected. I will be out of town until Monday or Tuesday, and hope to hear from you then. I'm glad we got this matter resolved before the week was out!
Have the best of all possible weekends,
Robert
ROBERT
Dr. Suleman,

Thank you for your gracious response but as I may not be able to come for 2-3 weeks, I'd love to have your mailing address in the meantime, so I can send a small token of my gratitude...

Robert
SULEMAN
From: Dr. Suleman Lukman [mailto:drsulemanluk@email.com]
Sent: Friday, August 23, 2002 5:10 PM
To: Robert
Subject: ACCEPTANCE OF GIFT

Dear Robert,
I cannot hide my excitement at the prospect of receiving a gift from you. You have really spurred me. I would rather suggest that since I would be meeting with you in a matter of days, let m gift be preserved for me. Do not hesitate to let me know what item you want from Africa. We are very rich in Cultural Artifacts.

Finally, in all of these, I am not doing you a favour. We are both working for our funds and I am sure our efforts will pay off handsomely.

Please let the rapport between us not be betrayed. I have a lot of confidence in you and I am happy my intuition and sense of judgment has not failed me.

Have a wonderful day.

Sincerely yours.
DR. SULEMAN LUKAN
JUBRIL
From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, August 24, 2002 11:23 AM
To: Robert
Subject: APPLICATION AND RESPONSE

Dear Robert,

Here are the Application I made to the Bank and their acknowledgement thereof. I would have sent accross the set of Application Forms to you but it is rather bulky and infact have been filled on your behalf and submitted back to the Bank.

I will keep you posted with other developments as they unfold. The Application and the response from the Bank are hereto attached. Thanks and have a safe trip.

Yours truly.

JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
I haven't heard from you in a few days. Where are we in this process?

Robert
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril-- I haven't heard from you since saturday! What's going on? Robert
JUBRIL
From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 29, 2002 9:08 AM
To: Robert
Subject: THERE IS NO MONEY TO BE USED

Dear Mr. Robert,

I have just been informed by my bank this afternoon that there is no fund in that account.

I do not seem to undersand what pranks you are playing with me. You sent me the Payment slip meanwhile no instruction was given for actual money to be remitted into that account.

It could be very frustrating that I could waste my time, money and energy in processing documents in your behalf. I was suposed to pay for the stamp duties/tax and receive the Drug Free Certificate today and then move to the Probate Registry for the Latter of Administration. Meanwhile the Affidavit of claims has been served at the Bank.

I had expected you to be as frank and blunt with me as I am with you. If for any reason whatever, you are not interested any longer in the transaction, all I expect you to do is to be bold enough to write me and notify me of this decision. To allow me to channel my energy and office funds into this while you have ulterior motive is to say the least unfair, unjust and unreasonable.

If within the next 24hrs. this funds do not reflect in my account, I shall have no alternative than to withdraw the Application from the bank and have all other processes already embarked by me. This is no threat but a definite promise.

I am aware that any money paid on Swift Code should reflect within 24 hours and that is why I gave instructions foe the my office funds to be used in the processing pending when the funds will clear. But here we are the fifth day yet no funds in that account. I do not intend to be taken for a ride. This is a brief you gave to me if you are actually not interested in it, do advise me accordingly.

Thanks.
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ).
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril Hassan--

How dare you take that tone of voice with me! I do not appreciate being accused of playing pranks when I've been fully cooperative with this transaction! I have no idea why the funds are not in your account to date--they certainly aren't in mine any longer. I will make inquiries at the bank this afternoon and see what's going on.

Once again, I don't appreciate your accusations and request an apology.
Robert
SULEMAN
From: Dr. Suleman Lukman [mailto:drsulemanluk@email.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 29, 2002 3:35 PM
To: Robert
Subject: SORRY FOR THE DELAY

Dear Robert,

Sorry for the delay in communication, due to my wide condition of health, she was operated on. She is however responding to treatment.

What's the position of things? How far has Barrister Jubril gone? Mrs. Graig says he came back here with additional documents.

Please keep me posted with development since I cannot get to the information from the Lawyer.

I await your response.

Do have a wonderful day.

Sincerely yours,

DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
JUBRIL and introducing HUBBARD
Uh-oh--looks like the $26,000 was stolen by an unscrupulous bank president!

From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 29, 2002 3:08 PM
To: Robert
Subject: YOUR BANK MANAGER'S MAIL TO ME.

Jubril Hassan--

By now you're probably wondering where your $26,000 is. Let me enlighten you; I have it.

I am L. Ron Hubbard, about to be ex-president of The First National Savings and Loan of Platryville. When Mr. Hicksman came in to arrange this transfer of funds I grew suspicious and deliberately set up an account with a number similar to the one you provided--I merely transposed a few digits. That is where the $26,000 currently is.

Before I go any further in my explanation, please let me state that I know you are a crook and a fraud--as a bank president with 35+ years of experience I knew Mr. Hicksman was being taken for a ride the moment he came into my office to arrange for these funds to be transferred. However, I'm a bit of a crook myself, Barrister Jubril, and am about to leave the country with 1.5 million of my bank's money, which I've successfuly squirreled away in a number of foreign accounts. Naturally, this includes your "client's" $26,000, which I am currently in possession of.

However, I'd rather not get my hands any dirtier than they currently are, and I'd be happy to go ahead and release these funds to you in exchange for a small fee--say--10% or $2,600 USD? Don't get me wrong; I'm more than happy to disappear with the whole $26,000, but my passing the funds on to you confers an air of legitimacy that I'd rather maintain and I'd still make a small profit.

So, in a nutshell, here's the deal: you pay 10% of the $26,000 upfront to release these funds or you don't see a dime. You have 48 hours to respond to my proposal, at which time I will be out of the country, immune from prosecution.

Best regards,
L. Ron. Hubbard, President, First National Bank of Paltryville
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--

Oh my god! How did you respond?
Robert

JUBRIL
From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 29, 2002 3:03 PM
To: Robert
Subject: WHY THIS CONFUSION?

s Dear Robert,
Thanks for your mail, I had earlier reminded you that the Business is fraud related at least you confessed that to me. Why then do you wash dirty linens in the Public, that is to say allowing your Bank President to also call me a crook.

It is unfortunate that your Bank Manager got my e-mail address from you and mailed to me such repugnant mail without your consent copy which will be sent to you next.

One of the biggest regrets I have at moment is the funds I have already committed, the cordial relationship I have established with the Bank Officials for speedy approaval and the Drug and Probate certificate which are currently undergoing processing right now.

I do not intend to go into brickbats with your bank President because it is only you that knows the knitty gritty of the transaction you employed my services.

Again I would like you tro debrief me officially so that I will forward it alongside the discontinuance of the Application for release of the funds into your Account to the Bank.

Regards,
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--

I'm shocked and speechless at this turn of events! I had no idea such a thing was possible. I'm making arrangements now to take a trip and meet with the authorities to see if this can be sorted out, and if we can apprehend L. Ron Hubbard! I may be gone through the early part of next week, but rest assured I will respond when I return.

Thank you for forwarding this to me--this is horrible!

Robert
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--
Please don't consider this matter closed! I am currently doing everything in my power to capture this L. Ron Hubbard! I will keep you posted as I learn more--your skills as a lawyer may prove to be invaluable in this case.

Don't fail me now, Barrister Jubril,
Robert
JUBRIL
24 hours are up--you only have 24 more hours to respond to my proposal.
HUBBARD
Don't be a fool Mr. Hassan--the only way you'll ever see this money is if you work with me.

L. Ron Hubbard, ex-president, Paltryville Savings and Loan
ROBERT
mr. Suleman--

A terrible thing has happened! Barrister Jubril just informed me that my bank manager stole the $26,000 in legal fees and is about to flee the country! I am taking an emergency trip in an attempt to stop this evil man before he flees, and may be away for a few days! Please, keep your thoughts with me and wish me the best!

Robert
HUBBARD
Jubril Hassan--

So far you haven't responded to my emails. You seem to be forgetting something important, however, which is that I know all the details for two of your bank accounts and can easily report you for fraud:

CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR.TO: SWIFT CODE: BBVA ESMM
A/C. NO: 0182 1793 51 2011000037
BENEF: UNIGLOBE CONTRACTS
CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR. TO: OYAK BANK
HAZNEDAR BRANCH, ISTANBUL, TURKEY
SWIFT CODE: OYAK TRIS
A/C NO: 3201362 - MY - 001

If I don't hear from you within 48 hours I'll contact these banks and report these account details to your fraud department, which could lead, at the worst, to your arrest and, at the very least, will cause you severe inconvenience. I suggest you write me back at your earliest convenience, as I have a proposal for you.
Cheers!
L. Ron Hubbard.
SULEMAN
From: Dr. Suleman Lukman [mailto:drsulemanluk@email.com]
Sent: Friday, August 30, 2002 9:40 AM
To: Robert
Subject: WITHDRAWAL OF APPLICATION BY THE LAWYER
Dear Robert,

Barrister Hassan came in this morning with a letter withdrawing the Application earlier made for the Transfer of the funds. He further advised me to be careful with you. All efforts to have him explain the rationale behind the action and the advise yeilded no result.

Please can you tell me what exactly is going on? when I was away, Mrs. Graig said Barrister Hassan came to serve the bank the Affidavit of Claims from the High Court, a copy is hereby attached for your perusal. The Implication is that approval has been received from the court for the transfer of the funds in your Name.

I had earlier asked you if you are not comfortable with Barrister Hassan, do let me know as another Lawyer could be arranged for you or better still, you could use your own Lawyer. THis confusion at this time has devasting consequencies;

1). The Application has already been made in your name.
2). The High Court approval has been gotten in your name.
3). Even where some other person is found, it means he has to bear your names and use your particulars. This is so because any other Application made in any other name will raise very serious suspicion because if the relatives of Sylvester Williams could not be traced for all of this period, how come all of a sudden multiple Applications for his funds?.
4. I do not know what my colleagues reaction would be when I tell them that Barrister Hassan has written to withdraw the Application earlier made. The blame will fall squarely on my shoulders. I want to read from you before I let them into the picture.

Finally, do remember that I told you to let me know your position and that where you are not interested, any of my colleagues would have been too glad to bring in their candidates

Dear Robert, Please do write and tell me exactly what is going on. Presently I am confused. Barrister Hassan action coupled with my Wife's condition could cause a high blood pressure.

I await to read from you urgent.
Please do have a wonderful day.

Sincerely yours
DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN.
ROBERT
Dr. Lukman:

I've had the most horrendous few days! Please, let me fill you in. First of all, let me say how disappointed I am in Barrister Jubril. I begged him not to give up on me, and now he's clearly deserted my case.

What happened, Dr. Lukman, was this:

I arranged for the $26,000 in legal fees to be transferred to Barrister Jubril Hassan's specified account. Unfortunately, L. Ron Hubbard, the bank president, absconded with the money. I have been away the last few days in hot pursuit.

As soon as I learned what happened, I contacted the authorities, who in turn contacted the US Army, Navy and Marine Corps, who used all their combined man- and fire- power in an effort to track down Mr. Hubbard and bring him to justice. As I was one of the last to see him before his disappearance, my assistance was solicited.

So, within two hours of leaving work last Thursday, I was on an Army jet headed for Kansas, where there had been an unconfirmed L. Ron Hubbard sighting. I don't know if you're familiar with Kansas, Dr. Lukman, but it's a wild and lawless place, not unlike Somalia or, say, New Jersey. The US Military only has nominal control of the state, and only go in when they have to. So as not to attract attention, it was agreed that I would parachute from the jet into the town of Lawrence, where L. Ron was believed to be in hiding. Naturally, I wore a disguise for this mission so as not to be recognized--I was dressed as a Boy Scout Troop Leader.

Thanks to extensive reports from the FBI and the CIA we were fairly certain that L. Ron was hiding out in either a local brewery or a seedy sex club outside of town. Accordingly, I divided the bulk of my time there between these two places, dodging sniper fire and veneral disease all the while.

The club in question was known as the Flamingo, and was famous for its--how do I say it--liberal policies regarding patron/dancer interaction, as it was technically outside of the city and therefore not subject to direct jurisdiction. I decided that it was imperative that I spend as much time as possible there, as I'd heard L. Ron had a thing for dancers in Catholic Schoolgirl uniforms.

Alas, several sordid hours (and many dollars) later, there was still no sign of L. Ron to be had, so I thought it best to direct my attentions to the local brewpub, where, rumor had it, L. Ron was hiding, disguised as a brewmaster.

Thus, upon arriving at said brewery, I immediately demanded a tour of the premises. During our perambulations around the facilities a suspicious looking man caught my eye. He had black beady eyes, a handlebar mustache which he continually twirled around his index fingers, an LA Raiders Jacket, a Garth Brooks T-shirt new Nike Airs, and a battered sombrero. Clearly this man was in disguise. I approached him, still in my troop leader uniform.

"Hey," I said, "That's a bitchin' look you've got goin' on there."

"Thanks Pard'ner," he replied, avoiding my penetrating gaze.

"What you do here?" I asked, trying to catch his eye.

"Apprentice brewer," he said. Just then I noticed that the left side of his handlebar mustache had begun to detach itself from his lip. Quickly, almost without thinking, I ripped it right off his face! Sure enough, it was that Bastard L. Ron!

But then, before I could act, I was hit with a heavy object from behind. I woke up two days later in a drainage ditch outside of town. I staggered to the bus station, bought a one-way ticket home and am now back at work, no richer or happier than before, only to learn that I have been deserted by Barrister Jubril. Surely you, Dr. Lukman, won't do the same?

Your friend Robert


ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--

You swine! Why did you tell Dr. Suleman not to trust me? Why did a good Christian man such as yourself desert me in my hour of need? I've spent the last several days trying to track down this L. Ron Hubbard and nearly lost my life, only to learn that you withdrew your application, you bastard!

You're the worst lawyer ever!

Robert

JUBRIL
From: Barr. Jubril Hassan [mailto:barristerjubril@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2002 10:53 AM
To: Robert
Subject: YOU MAKE NO MEANING TO ME
Mr. Robert,
I am convinced you are an illitrate armed Robber in the streets of U.S. How on earth can you reprobate and approbate at the same time. You have called me all sorts of names simply because I refused that you should side track somebody who introduced you to a business.

This confession you made yourself, Are you afraid because you thought I have told him? No. I won't. One of your basic problems is that you are a youth and, naturally your exuberance is not only childish but also foolish.

As a bloody juvenile criminal you have been writing as both Robert and Hubbard the non-existent Bank President. You are a confimed thief, very greedy, avarecious, I will be surprised if you are not a petty pick pocket trying to have all to yourself.

Go and hide you face in shame, you wanted 50/50 sharing to the detriment of the person who brought you into the business.

Now I am going to reach the said Dr. Suleman and ask him to look for another person because you are an unrepentant serpent.

Go and die, you will never be a rich man and will continue to be assistance all the days of your life, because of your greediness. YOu have lost it all because your mistake is iremedible and irredeameable and unforgivable. I am only sorry for Dr. Suleman because I do not know the criteria he applied in choosing you as the beneficiary/Next of Kin. Criminal next of kin.

Please do never, never, ever, ever write into my e-mail box again. I have a lot to do than thinking about you. You are the most disappointing IDIOT in the western world. You rightly said you have no moral qualms and true to it you will inherit hell fire, Amen.

JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)
ROBERT
Barrister Jubril--

Those are harsh words indeed. In fact, in the western world, as you refer to it, we tend to call them 'fightin' words.' Accordingly, I intend to do some fightin'.

Firstly, I resent your insinuation that the devious Mr. Hubbard and I are the same person; since you've made this claim I challenge you to prove it. Secondly, the tone of your email is most unprofessional coming from an esteemed lawyer such as yourself. I most certainly will not go hide my face in shame, as I have done nothing wrong. Furthermore, I think it would be foolhardy for you to contact Dr. Suleman and suggest he contact someone else--I'm more than willing to try and raise another $26,000 to cover your legal fees.

It is my sincere hope that we can now work together--would you be so kind as to forward your account details to me once again so we can proceed with this transaction?

Thanks,
Robert
SULEMAN
From: Dr. Suleman Lukman [mailto:drsulemanluk@email.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 05, 2002 11:30 AM
To: Robert
Subject: CONCLUDING THE TRANSACTION

Dear Robert,

Its unfortunate you went through that level of stress. I can imagine what it is like. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

It appears you cannot get along with Barrister Jubril. We rather work on an alternative course of action than grief over Barrister Jubril.

I have held onto the withdrawal letter sent in by Jubril but have discussed with my colleagues the position of things. The two options left open are:-

1. You send in a POWER OF ATTORNEY, authorizing the use of your name and Bank particulars to continue with the processing since the Application to the Bank and the Affidavit has already been done in your name.

2. The alternative will be that you come down or send your Attorney to help tidy up the process now that we have gone reasonably far. If you are coming down, I will send to you the details of the involvement so that you will know how to plan your itinerary.

If you do have any other suggestion on how to tidy this up, please do let me know but let it not be inclusive of recommending another Lawyer to complete the process for you. The most important step, which is applying to the Bank has been taken. I didn't expect it will take this long to tidy this up.

I await to read from you.

Sincerely yours.

DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN
ROBERT
Dr Lukman--

Thank you for your sympathetic and heartfelt letter--the last few days have indeed been difficult for me. I'm afraid Barrister Jubril has been most angry and uncooperative as of late; he even went so far as to suggest that I was impersonating the corrupt bank manager who stole my money! I just sent him an email in an effort to placate him, but perhaps I should appoint another attorney to help clear this matter up. Of course, I'd also be happy to come to Togo myself if that would make things go a little faster--which option do you recommend?

Again, thanks for your kind letter,

Roberts
HUBBARD
Date: Thu, 5 Sep 2002 09:56:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ronalnd Hubbard"
Subject: 419 Scam--Fradulent account
To: udten@oyak.com.tr

To Whom it May Concern--

You may wish to forward the bank account details listed below to your fraud department, as I have reason to believe the accounts in question are being used to facilitate what are commonly known as 419 scams, with which, no doubt, your bank is familiar. These account details were provided to me during recent correspondence with one of these scam artists.

Thanks,
R. Hubbard.

Account details:
CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR.TO: SWIFT CODE: BBVA ESMM
A/C. NO: 0182 1793 51 2011000037
BENEF: UNIGLOBE CONTRACTS

CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR. TO: OYAK BANK
HAZNEDAR BRANCH, ISTANBUL, TURKEY
SWIFT CODE: OYAK TRIS
A/C NO: 3201362 - MY - 001


THUS ENDETH THE LESSON

scamorama