THE LEGENDARY DORITO BAMBINI vs. THE SEMI-LEGENDARY SALAMI

Still in play. From the world's first Smurf-herd (see Death By Umlaut) comes Dorito Bambini. How can this be, you ask? The Smurfherd simply signed up for an account on Yahoo.it. It's a small world after all, it's a small small world... The correspondence gets a bit confusing - there is more than one Lad on the other end. But Bambini plays them against each other and it's funny as usual!


MARIAM ABACHA (ONCE AGAIN)

We don't have the original scammy letter but it doesn't matter - you could probably compose one yourself by now! "Dorito Bambini" responds and they're off to the races!


BAMBINI RESPONDS

Data: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 13:40:12 +0200 (CEST)
Da:"Dorito Bambini"
Rubrica Oggetto: re:
A:amin_aba@email.com

Signora Abacha,

I received your proposal and I have read it with great interest. I'm running a gambling enterprise and a cement factory here in Italy and would be most interested in getting some petty cash. Me and my family have a few things we need to sort out on the side, get the union in line and the officials in order, if you know what I mean. So some grey cash would come in handy.

Get back to me with further info.

Yours,
Dorito Bambini
Head of the Family

MARIAM ABACHA SO GRATEFUL FOR PROMPT RESPONSE

Da: "mariam abach"
A: Data: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 14:06:32 -0500
Oggetto: REPLY

DEAR SIR,
FIRST AND FORMOST I WISH TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE AND YOUR INTEREST TO ASSIST ME IN THIS TIMES OF GREAT TRIBULATION FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.

BE REST ASSURED THAT YOU WILL NOT BE SUBJECT TO ANY ATTACT FROM ANY ORGANIZATION OR GOVERNMENTAL BODIES AS THE PROCEDURE WITH WHICH THE FUNDS WAS TRANSFERED OUT OF MY COUNTRY IS WELL PLANNED AND NOBODY ACCEPT YOU, MYSELF AND MY LAWYER.

BE REST ASSURED THAT THE FUNDS WILL NOT BE USED FOR ANY THING EVIL. BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL NOT ONLY HELP ME RECEIVE THE FUNDS BUT YOU WILL EQUALLY HELP ME INVEST THE FUNDS AND AS SUCH THE ISSUE OF MISUSE DO NOT COME IN. AND AS FOR THE DOCUMENTS BE INFORMED THAT MY LAWYER IN THE NAME OF JULIUS OKAFOR WILL BE HANDLING THIS TRANSACTION WITH YOU, INFACT HE IS THE ONE WHO MY HUSBAND ENTRUSTED TO HAVE TO FUNDS TRANSFERED THROUGH DIPLOMATIC MEANS AND HE HAVE ALL THE DETAILS AND DOCUMENTS. PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO SEND TO ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT I MAY GIVE MY LAWYER TO CONTACT YOU FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION.

PLEASE NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT I AM UNDER SURVELANCE I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BE CONTACTING YOU OFTEN HENCE IT IS BETTER FOR PROMPT ACTIONS TO DEAL DIRECTLY WITH MY LAWYER WHO HAVE THE FULL DETAILS. AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR NUMBER I WILL GIVE HIM TO .

HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA


BAMBINI'S A BUSY GUY

Data: Fri, 14 Jun 2002 10:41:36 +0200 (CEST)
Da: "Dorito Bambini" A: "mariam abach"

Signora Abacha,

Because of the nature of my business I am on the run a lot, I travel around most of the time, so giving you my phone number won't be of much use since I'm hardly ever at home.

But you can have your lawyer mail me, I'm able to check it quite often.

I also have to inform you that my capo, Peter "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri, is also informed about the transaction. But he can be trusted completely, he is under oath, and believe me he won't do ANYTHING that would come to harm me. He is part of the family and carries out most of my arrends and hits.

regards,

Dorito Bambini
Head of the Family


ENTER "BARRISTER IDRIS SALAMI"

Data: Mon, 17 Jun 2002 07:35:54 -0700 (PDT)
Da: "Barr. Idris Salami" isalami_lawfirm@yahoo.com
Oggetto: VERY IMPORTANT A:

DEAR SIR,

COMPLEMENTS OF THE DAY TO YOU.

I AM BARR.IDRIS SALAMI. I REPRESENT HAJIA MARYAM ABACHA. SHE HAS GIVEN ME THE MANDATE TO OPEN COMMUNICATION WITH YOU IN RESPECT TO HER FUNDS PRESENTLY DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT WE ADOPT A CODE NOW THAT WE ARE READY FOR THIS TRANSACTION. OUR CODE IS ?193?. ANY MESSAGE I SEND TO YOU MUST CARRY THE CODE AND IF I CALL YOU OR YOU CALL ME, YOU MUST ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO ASK ME OF THE CODE BEFORE YOU DISCUSS ANYTHING WITH ME. THE REASON FOR THIS IS TO ENSURE IT IS I YOU ARE DEALING WITH, TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION THE CONFIDENTIAL NATURE OF THIS TRANSACTION.

AS YOU ARE NOW AWARE, I REPRESENT THE ABACHA FAMILY WHO ARE PRESENTLY BEING HOUNDED BY THE CIVILIAN ADMINISTRATION OF PRESIDENT OLUSEGUN OBASANJO. THIS VICTIMIZATION IS PERCEIVED AS TRANSFERRED AGGRESSION AS THE LATE GENERAL SANNI ABACHA FOR COUP PLOTTING ONCE JAILED PRESIDENT OBASANJO. BANK ACCOUNTS OF THE ABACHA FAMILY BOTH IN NIGERIA AND FOREIGN COUNTRIES SUCH AS SWITZERLAND, BRITAIN, FRANCE, GERMANY ETC. HAVE BEEN FROZEN ALL IN A BID TO FRUSTRATE THEM.

THE FUNDS PRESENTLY WITH THE SECURITY COMPANY IS ALL THE ABACHA FAMILY HAS LEFT. THE SAID FUNDS WAS ARRANGED AND SECURELY SEALED IN A TRUNK BOX, CRATED AND THEN DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM(NETHERLANDS). THE OFFICIALS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY HAVE BEEN INFORMED THE CRATE CONTAINS AFRICA CARVING.

MY DEAR PARTNER, I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE ALL OUR SECURED ARRANGEMENT IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE WE ACHIEVE A 100% HITCH-FREE AND MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL TRANSACTION WITH YOU . HAVING PUT IN OVER 20YEARS OF MERITORIOUS SERVICE AS A LEGAL PRACTITIONER IN MY COUNTRY, ANYTHING THAT WILL TARNISH MY IMAGE MUST BE AVOIDED IN ORDER NOT TO BE LABELLED ECONOMIC SABOTEUR. THEREFORE, I IMPLORE YOU TO KEEP EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BUSINESS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL UNTIL THE FUND IS IN YOU POSSESION.

SO BASED ON THE ABOVE, IT IS IMPORTANT YOU COMMUNICATE WITH ME TO LET ME KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ACCEPT TO DO THIS BUSINESS WITH US . MY CLIENT HAS MANDATED ME TO GIVE YOU 30% OF THE ENTIRE FUNDS. ON THE EVENT THAT YOU CANNOT ASSIST US DO THE BUSINESS, I BEG YOU TO STILL KEEP OUR CONTACT AND EXISTENCE OF THIS FUND A SECRET.

I ALSO REQUIRE YOU TO MAKE AVAILABLE TO ME YOURCONFIDENTIAL TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS FOR FURTHER DISCUSSION AND CLARIFICATION.

EVERY DOCUMENT WILL BE PREPARED IN YOUR FAVOUR. ENDEAVOUR TO KEEP EVERY INFORMATION STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL.

HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

YOURS TRULY,

BARR. IDRIS SALAMI. " 193"


ENTER (OR RE-ENTER) EDWARD MOBUTU

A: Oggetto: REMINDER
Da: "edward" mobutu333@excite.com

Dear Dorito Bambini,
How are you? Fine I suppose.I have not heard from you for a long time now.What is happening.My server has been down so I have not contacted you since.Please let me have your phone numbers so I can call you in case of any unexpected break in communication.This is to inform you that we are yet to forward the necessary application to the security company for the clearance of the fund on your behalf.This is because we have not received a go ahead order from you.All we require from you is to provide us with a trusted company or individual name for us to make formal application to the security company for the release of the money . Time is running out,your decision and attention is highly needed so that I can know the next line of action to take.

I hope you appreciate the necessity for us to repose in you the desired trust and confidence needed not just for the success of this project but for the greater ones to come as a sequel of transaction.

Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.

Best regards.

Edward Mobutu.


SAY THIS TEN TIMES, FAST: BAMBINI TO MOBUTU

Data: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 14:46:03 +0200 (CEST)
Da:"Dorito Bambini"
Oggetto: Re:
A:mobutu333@excite.com

Mobuto,

An unexpected chain of events have prevented me from contacting you before. I unexpectedly had to leave my country for an unpecified time. I had to sort out a couple of cement related harbour accidents that occured to a couple of the nonunionised workers.

It's sorted now, but I do not know when I can return to Italy. The market for cement boots ain't what it used to be... I'm on the run so to speak, which means I'm not staying in one place, but rather travelling around conducting my family business. Therefore it is of no use for me to provide you with a telephone number. Most likely I can't be reached by phone.

Let me know if we can finish this suspect transaction without telephone. Face to face is my preferred way of business.

best regards,
Dorito Bambini

EDWARD MOBUTU'S SYMPATHIES

A: Oggetto: THE WAY FORWARD
Da: "edward" Data: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 21:59:39 -0400 (EDT)

Dear Dorito Bambini,
Thank you very much for your concern and interest in this unusual but mutually beneficial transaction.Let me also tender my sincerest sympathy for the unfortunate accident that occured.I hope you get over it soonest.

Please be informed that you are required to provide us with either your company or individual name for us to use in making the necessary application on your behalf to the security company in Amsterdam,Holland for the release of the fund to your nominated account for us.

On getting approvals from the security company,you,as the sole beneficiary of the funds,by virtue of the application forwarded in your name,will be contacted directly by the security company to proceed to Amsterdam to sign for the release of the funds.This means that you will also be required to clear the funds from the bonded warehouse of the security company before you will be allowed to sign for it's release for onward transfer to your account.

Bear in mind that any expenses you incure in the course of this transaction (like flight ticket,hotel accommodation and also the clerance of the consignment) will be refunded to you in cash in Amsterdam after the clearance from the security company before the final transfer to your account. Note that as soon the security company contacts you,you should inform us for my lawyer to start making necessary travel arrangements to be in Amsterdam to guide you through the transfer process and also to provide you with necessary documents relevant to this transaction. Note that we are going to give you 10%(after tax,)for your assistance and participation ,

Please be assured that this transaction is 100%legal and cannot contravene the laws of any country hence the necessary documentations that shall be supplied at the appropriat time.

As soon as the money is deposited in your account, we shall travel to your country to execute a FUND MANAGEMENT AGREEMENT which will empower you invest the money on our behalf.It will also secure the interest of both parties involved in this business (you and us).You receive your percentage and return our's without any problems. We intend to do profitable investment in your country like real estates,stocks (securities and also any kind of investment that you might have in mind as long as it will yield dividend).

Certainly,we shall meet immediately after the transaction but I just wanted to have your phone numbers so I could further clarify this transaction to you in case you needed more information.I also believe in one on one business especially with this peculiar one.

Endeavour to contact me immediately you receive this to enable us ascertain your position regarding this transaction for time is of great essence. Awaiting your prompt response.

My warmest regards,

Edward Mobutu


THAT'S THE WAY BAMBINI LIKES IT

OK, turns out it's two different lads, stirrs things up nicely. It gets messy just like Dorito 'THE BLACK SPIDER' Bambini likes it.

Data: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 09:54:08 +0200 (CEST)
Da: "Dorito Bambini"
Oggetto: WHAT????
A: "Barr. Idris Salami" isalami_lawfirm@yahoo.com

SALAMI!

Look, I got this mail from a lad called Edward Mobutu, who says he's the REAL alwyer of Abacha! Please explain! What the fuck is going on here?? I warn you not to play around with a man of my calibre...I'm innit for the money, nothing else. Is he a friend of YOURS? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET TRANSACTION! Is he a government spy or something? Or worse; Copper? FBI? Or is it you who're the impostor? I don't care how many daigo guinea WOP greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork, I want the money!

I don't like violence, Salami. I'm a businessman. Blood is a big expense. So, I suggest you sort this out ASAP.

angry regards,
Dorito Bambini

[sent the same mail to "Edward Mobuto"]


SALAMI: I CAN EXPLAIN!

Da:"Barr. Idris Salami" isalami_lawfirm@yahoo.com
Oggetto: URGENT INFORMATIONS
A: "Dorito Bambini"

DEAR SIR,

GREETINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I ALSO THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL. FIRST AND FOREMOST I WILL PLEAD WITH YOU TO SEND ME A COPY OF THE MAIL YOU RECEIVED FROM THE FELLOW WHO CLAIMS HE IS THE ABACHA'S LAWYER. IT IS VERY UNFORTUNATE THAT MY DETRACTORS WHO HAPPEN TO BE THE ENEMIES OF MY CLIENT ARE ALL OUT TO TARNISH MY REPUTATION. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THE MAIL WAS SENT IN ORDER TO GET INFORMATION FROM YOU .THE GOVERNMENT SECURITY AGENTS MUST BE BEHIND THIS AND I BET WITH MY LIFE TO BEAT THEM TO THIS. NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION EXCEPT MYSELF, MY CLIENT AND YOU.THIS WAS PART OF THE REASONS I SAID WE SHOULD ADOPT A CODE"193". MY COMPUTER MOST HAVE BEEN BROKEN INTO TO GET INFORMATION BUT THEY MADE A BIG MISTAKE BECAUSE I DO NOT STORE ANY DETAILS ON MY SYSTEM .YOU CAN NOW SEE WHAT I AND MY CLIENT ARE GOING THROUGH IN THE HANDS OF THE GOVERNMENT.I HOPE YOU DID NOT DISCLOSE ANY INFORMATION TO THIS FELLOW.HENCEFORTH YOU ARE TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME ON MY NEW EMAIL ADDRESS:isalami@lycos.com

DEAR FRIEND, HAVE I EVER GIVEN YOU ANY CAUSE TO DOUBT ME? IF I HAD PLEASE LET ME KNOW BECAUSE THIS TRANSACTION CAN NEVER PULL THROUGH IF YOU KEEP HAVING DOUBTS ABOUT MY REPUTATION AND POSITION. I WILL NOT RUB MY REPUTATION IN THE MUD FOR ANYTHING NO MATTER THE AMOUNT OF MONEY. I BELIEVE IN GOOD NAME THAN WEALTH BECAUSE I WANT TO LEAVE A LEGACY FOR MY CHILDREN.

FOR THIS UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT THAT OCCURRED WHICH WILL MAKE US STRONGER AND MORE DETERMINED TO SUCCEED I HAVE DECIDED TO SEND YOU A PICTURE OF THE FUNDS BEFORE IT WAS DEPOSITED WITH THE SECURITY COMPANY AND ALSO A PICTURE OF MY CLIENT AND HER FAMILY. THESE ARE VERY CONFIDENTIAL PICTURE WHICH YOU MUST DELETE FROM YOUR SYSTEM AFTER USE. I BELIEVE THIS PICTURE WILL ALSO ASSIST YOU IN IDENTIFYING THE CONSIGNMENT WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM TO COLLECT IT.WE HAVE WASTED SO MUCH TIME ALREADY IT IS NOW TIME WE EXECUTE THIS TRANSACTION FULLY. I NEED YOU TO SEND ME YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS. I NEED THIS TO PREPARE THE POWER OF ATTORNEY I WILL SEND TO YOU. THIS WILL GIVE YOU THE LEGAL RIGHT TO COLLECT THE CONSIGNMENT. I ALSO NEED YOUR FAX NUMBER TO SEND THE VARIOUS DOCUMENTS .I WANT YOU TO REALISE THAT ONCE THIS DOCUMENTS ARE IN YOUR CUSTODY YOU MUST NOT LET US DOWN. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THIS FUNDS I AM FINISHED.

ENDEARVOUR TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME ON MY CONFIDENTIAL TELEPHONE NUMBER: 234 1 7743607 BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 10AM AND 4PM NIGERIA TIME. NOTE: NIGERIA IS ONE HOUR AHEAD OF LONDON TIME.

HOPING TO HEAR FRROM YOU SOON,

BEST REGARDS,

BARR.IDRIS SALAMI. "193"


SALAMI: KICKED OFF YET ANOTHER ISP

Data: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 08:57:22 -0700 (PDT)

Da: "Barr. Idris Salami" isalami_lawfirm@yahoo.com
Oggetto: Confirmation of New address!!
A: "Dorito Bambini"

DEAR SIR.

COMPLEMENTS OF THE DAY TO YOU.DUE TO SOME COMMUNICATION PROBLEM I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO RECEIVE MAILS ON THE ADRESS I GAVE YOU EARLIER ON(isalami@lycos.com) . SO YOU ARE ADVICED TO SEND MAILS TO ME WITH THIS ADDRESS isalami@lawyer.com. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU RESPONDTO ME AND CONFIRM RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL TO THE ADDRESS ABOVE.

ENDEARVOUR TO KEEP EVERY INFORMATION CONFIDENTIAL, YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

BEST REGARDS,

BARR. IDRIS SALAMI "193"


Until next time?


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