He rises!

MR SIMON RENAUD, Scammer du Jour

Mr Simon Renaud
United Kingdom.


I am contacting you on business transfer of a huge sum of money from a deceased account. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude {you know this bit by heart} well at the end of the day. We decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

We discovered a Huge abandoned sum in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers {ho hum}. We cannot release the fund from his account unless someone applies {you know this bit too} funds to be released in your favour as the beneficiary next of kin. It may interest you to know that we have secured from the probate an order of madamus to locate any of deceased beneficiary. {etc etc}

These requirements will enable us file letter of claim {la la la}.
If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not take undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you,

I await your urgent mail.

Please reply to EMAIL:


S. Renaud.


your email was forwarded to me ... and not a moment too soon!!!

  I could really use the money.  I run a big fishing business in New Bedford, Massachusetts, and I'm the captain of my own vessel, the Pequod.  The harvest has been really bad for years and years now.  Plus the US gov't is really cracking down on our industry and limiting how many whales we can take each season plus they're making the season shorter and shorter. Competition from the Japanese is intense, and their boats and equipment are much newer than mine.   I don't know how much longer I can hold on, and I need to get new harpoons and whaleboats for the upcoming whaling season. 

  And you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find help these days.  My latest hire is a some tall guy from some Island in the South Pacific, and he's got tatoos all over him, including his face.  His name is Queequeeg, and believe you me it took me a month just to learn how to pronounce it, much less spell it!!  Talk about an odd duck.  He sits on the deck all day rolling these strange dice made out of bones.  But he's tops with a harpoon. 

  I'm getting depressed though.  I'll never pass for a next of kin for anyone, especially not an Englishman.  I don't even own a skinny umbrella to lean on.  Plus, because of an unfortunate incident on a whaling trip some years ago, I lost my left leg just above the knee, and I've had to use a prosthetic ever since. 

  So, I don't think it will work unless you see a way out of the dilemma.  Thanks,

  Your friend,
Ahab, Captain, the Pequod



I have had no response from you re your business proposal.  In our country, it is considered ill-mannered not to respond.  I hope this is not the case with you.  Look forward to hearing from you. 

  Also, please address me as "Captain" or "Captain Ahab."  I worked hard for this position and deserve the respect that goes with it. 

  Captain Ahab
the Pequod

More to come?